November 28, 2007
In which I disappoint even myself
I am going to distract you today, because I woke up this morning and had the lucky and incredible insight that the thrilling thing that I was planning to write about today was not actually thrilling. Then I lay there in bed realizing that the fact that Joe and I were so entirely delighted by this thing was a bad, bad sign and that we really need to get out more or something.
We got a new toilet seat.
See? I have no idea what came over me. (I'm so ashamed. Gads we are boring.) The truth is that we have this freaky European toilet (you push a button to flush it) with a shaped seat (we didn't buy it. It was here when we bought the house) and the seat had a big crack in it and was threatening to break at any moment and so Joe and I very responsibly went to the plumbing place and tried to buy a new seat. (Joe and I would both like some credit for that. It is very unlike us to notice a problem is developing and deal with it. We are more the "Oh no, the only toilet in the house is broken - quick, somebody do something" types. We're proud of our maturity this time.)
Sadly, our maturity was not rewarded, and we were told that our toilet seat is discontinued. (See? This is the worst blog topic ever.) No standard seat would fit it, and we went from store to store for like...a month. We checked online, we called strange places that "salvage" old house stuff - (That right there....that should tell you how desperate we were. We thought a USED toiled seat was a good plan.) and there was absolutely none to be found. We even had a conversation in which we entertained the possibility of buying a wooden seat and carving it to fit. (Kill. Me.)
After talking with every toilet seat person in North America and discovering that there are practically support groups for people trying to find this toilet seat...we were forced to just about admit defeat and acknowledge that we were actually going to have to buy a whole new toilet because we couldn't buy a new seat. This infuriated us enough that we couldn't hardly bring ourselves to do it. Then the crack in the seat started getting really threatening.....and at the same time the sink in the bathroom was leaking, so Joe went to this extraordinarily fancy-pants plumbing place (because we have freaky European fixtures too) to buy stuff for that.
While there, he decided to take a shot and, gave them the dimensions of the toilet seat to see if they could think of anything that could be done...and this guy walks into the back, grabs a box, comes out and holds up the exact toilet seat we have been seeking.....and angels sing and the sun shines a glorious ray of pure light on it, and Joe falls on his knees and receives the toilet seat and brings it home to me and I am so happy that I actually feel a little weepy with joy.
Then Joe and I install it and it's so much fun! We're SO HAPPY about our new toilet seat...so happy that we make the kids and all of their friends come upstairs and see it and I actually take a picture of it with the sock I'm knitting so I can show it to The Blog..
..and when I go to yoga I tell everyone all about it. Then I phone some friends and tell them. Then Joe and I stand in the bathroom together and we put our arms around each other and we look at it and sigh contentedly. We go to bed with this warm glow of happiness that we thought we would never feel again with this toilet.
Then I woke up this morning and thought ...OH. MY. GOD. WE HAVE GOT TO GET A LIFE.
So go listen to this podcast. I swear I don't mention toilet seats.
Posted by Stephanie at November 28, 2007 12:13 PM
How is that you can make even toilet-seat-hunting sound interesting? You are my hero. :)
(Congrats on the lucky find, btw!)
This is to make up for the truck, right?
Sometimes a calm life is good. Remember this moment the next time you are standing in an airport and want to scream because every flight for your destination has been cancelled.
I was first? No way! Knock me down with a feather or something...
Dude. That "is" one strange looking toilet seat. (wait..I mean unique)
You guys are awesome, and funny as hell.
Congratulations on the toilet seat. It's beautiful.
That is one fancy-pants (is that a pun?) toilet seat - really pretty! Bravo on your persistence, the loo just wouldn't have been the same without it; the new modern ubiquitous oval would not have been half as pleasing.
That's totally the funniest blog post of the day!
Isn't it amazing how a simple problem can turn into a nightmare?! But I understand how you feel as we had to replace both toilet seats when we bought the house as one was broken in 2 - You feel great once it is done and installed. Wahoo! We really DO need to get a life!
Believe it or not, this IS what being grown up is. Triumphing over the little stumbling blocks the Universe sees fit to put in our way. This is the glue that holds society together (I am NOT being faceitious).
Only you could make it interesting. I loved the receiving of the toilet seat.
What are you talking about? I am a wastewater engineer and toilet seats are fascinating! In fact - did you know that it was a fellow named Thomas "Crapper" (I kid you not) that invented many accessories and made the toilet take off in popularity?! OK - now back to knitting; it is an escape from the S^&t I have to deal with everyday (and i mean that LITERALLY!)
[Broadwayknits] on Ravelry
Haha! I hope that you bought out the store's supply of those seats so you have extras for the future! ;)
Toilet seats?! Only you could make a toilet seat obsession sound funny and somewhat normal. I think you should take this opportunity to welcome the new toilet seat with some accessories. New towels? A candle? Potpourri? Bath salts? After all, you do spend most of your reading time in this room! Enjoy the new seat and congrats on finally finding it.
I, too, have a fancy-pants European toilet, and I, too, have a failing seat, that can't be replaced by anything standard, and the real replacement seat is presently unfindable. Every couple months I take a stab at locating one, I'm alway unsuccessful. My point is, I'm THRILLED for you! What a great blog topic!
Having been through all sorts of plumbing nightmares I totally sympathize. It really is the simplest of pleasures (like being able to sit down for a pee without having one's bum nipped by the broken toilet seat) that make the difference! Far from thinking you don't have a life, I admire your balance and sense of priority! : )
Here: go see what Lene did on my blog on Monday!
Oh, god, Stephanie... I do love you. :)
I have only known people to get ecstatic over new toilet seats. Seriously.
My parents called me when they got new ones for all 3 toilets in their house at once to rave about it's features. FEATURES??? What "features" could it possibly have other than the obvious???
When I asked what to get a friend's husband for Christmas, she responded with, "A new toilet seat, he would just LOVE that."
I think it's such an overlooked item that it's only when the seat isn't working properly that we realize how important it truly is.
Congratulations on your find - did you buy a second, just in case?
Oh Stephanie, only YOU could make the search for a toilet seat sound so hilarious! That made me laugh out loud!
ps We remodelled a dozen years ago, and had a similar problem re a toilet--we gave up and bought a new one--but you've already covered the topic so I'll shut up now.
I understand and I am thrilled for you!! I got a petite pedestal sink on sale for the guest bathroom. I can hardly wait to buy the matching toilet. The current toilet doesn't like to flush downwards... Hurray for new toilet seats!!!!
Damn those Europeans! We have been going through the same saga with our European door hinges. They're not broken, just brass colored and we're more stainless steel colored people. We've been looking for 2 years to no avail :(
You know, one of the things we (that's We The Blog) love about you, Steph, is that even though you're famous and all that, you still have no pretensions whatsoever. You're just like the rest of us, only funny.
By the way, that man of yours really deserves a gansey, don't you agree? You were too busy spinning for the gansey yesterday to blog, right?
What do you mean - freaky European toilet??? This looks like a pretty ordinary toilet to me.
Just think, you won't have to go through this again for another few years. That alone is reason enough to be so pleased with it!
I love the funky shape of it, too. I'd say I want one just like it but I think the last of our European bathroom fixture's depot moved out of our town a looooong time ago.
Enjoy the new seat!
I understand your joy completely. When we finally broke down and actually bought a whole new toilet that flushed everything down on the first flush (what a concept!), I was thrilled beyond words! I too gave tours of our new toilet and would even walk upstairs to use it instead of the old toilet downstairs. Enjoy!
I know how you feel. I was excited when I replaced ours all by myself without any help from my husband. I even fixed the tub too once.
Congratulation on your new seat. I wish my BIL and SIL would break down and buy one. Theirs is wood and cracked so everytime I sit it pinches my ass and not in a good way.
cute toilet--troublesome, but cute. i just want to add that i am almost finished with my second pair of socks (yea!), learning only by comparing instructions in 3 different books (one of which is your "casts off"). your explantions just turned on the lightbulb, i could never have done it without your book. thanks for that and for all the laughs--your website is a daily pick-me-up!
What a great blog post!
With all due respect to your status as an awesome knitter and best-selling author of knitting books, I think you ought to consider a new line of books about domestic adventures and the joys and sorrows of owning a, shall we say, "interesting" house. Between Sir Washy, Joe's roving office, the squirrels, the bedroom renovations, and now, the toilet seat saga, you have tons of material.
And who knew there was a market for used toilet seats?
Educational AND funny.
I was fascinated. You are the knitting Erma Bombeck!
Once upon a time, when money was very, very tight (knitting was acrylic), our toilet seat broke down in the first week of February. My Valentine's gift that year was a new toilet seat - itn was the most appreciated gift I have ever received! Enjoy.
New plumbing in the bathroom, or new related fixtures, is inherently exciting. It's true. We have two toilets in our house, and both of them are trying to kill us. (They wait until we use the facilities right before leaving the house, and then they refuse to stop filling up. It's clean water from the tank, but that doesn't make it any better when you walk into the house and the water is two inches deep. Clean water or not, soggy old carpet smells BAD.)
I was really hoping that the toilet seat you ended up with was one of those clear toilet seats with little rubber duckies trapped inside. It's possible that you might want to consider revising the end of your story. Just a thought.
The lead-in to the photo could have been a lot worse; I was anticipating something like the call from my stepmother years ago that I had to rush over and see the "stunning" new toilet seat cover she'd purchased. [No offense to anyone who has one] It was starfish covered in see-through latex! There were no words that day to adequately convey the lack of enthusiasm I had for one day possibly needing to sit on the deceased carcasses of sea creatures, but I am genuinely thrilled for your obvious delight in your new seat!
Too funny! But you know, when you have an old house, you become obsessed by finding old house parts for it, even if it is a not-so-old toilet. I'm glad Joe finally had some good luck!
I especially liked the "angels sing and the sun shines a glorious ray of pure light..." I laughed out loud! Apparently, I too need to get out more because I frequently require my family to "gaze upon it," with admiration...whatever the latest "IT" may be...knitting project or even the sparkling clean shower! Well, hey, we all need to find joy in the simple things, right?
You are the best!
i can totally relate! after a year and a half of living with not one but two (we had a bath and a half) crap plastic toilet seats at our old apartment, i was thrilled to find out that our new place has a "hard/enamel" seat!! my husband, on the other hand, didn't see the reason for celebration... i say if you have to spend a certain amount of time somewhere, why not like where you are sitting?? great post!!
You should be PROUD that you chose to fix a broken part rather than replace the whole thing!
Steph - next time you need some non-traditional plumbing fixtures check out the American Sanitary Plumbing Museum in my hometown of Worcester, MA. Yes, this museum does exist. http://www.wbur.org/special/strangemuseums/plumbing.asp
I am sure that they will have what you need as it chronicals the history of the crapper.
I GOT ONE TOO!!! Just put it on yesterday!! It is a Very exciting thing!!! :)
Ah, the joys of home ownership. I got similarly excited over new bushes this summer. If possible, I would go back to that store and buy at least one more for back up.
This only proves what I felt previously. You can write about ANYTHING, and I will love it and think it is wonderful. Keep up the good work!
This is probably the funniest of your blogs....I'm laughing to the point of tears...we don't have much of a life either, so I can really relate.....
I guess I don't have much of a life; I totally understand the thrill of finding the referenced toilet seat and I'm really happy that you didn't have to resort to a used toilet seat...that would be...what's the technical term...icky :)
Ahhh, now if this had been LAST year I could have gotten you one no problem. We were in Ukraine of all places for 7 weeks and the toilet in our VERY modern apartment looked much like yours. Seats were everywhere, there were stalls in the open markets selling nothing but them. I could have brought one back for you and it would have been worth it just to see the custom agent's face at JFK- I probably could have brought in a few "extra" bottles of vodka with that as a diversion!!!!
Thanks for the laugh!!
Excellent blog; beautiful toilet and seat; and wonderful podcast. I listened to it while starting on a new pair of socks. You are an inspiration...and you should do a video of your knitting style. I know lots of us would love to learn it. Thanks for everything!
Dude. I tried to convince Mr. Happy to abandon a recording session last night because he had, at long last, installed a shelf in the bathroom that will prevent our toilet from tipping backward. The sight of that shelf made me so happy that I was offering up "favours".
I see nothing wrong with new toilet seat-induced happiness.
that reminds me... I have to get a new toilet seat before the holidays. Don't want relatives seeing the duct tape holding it together (keeps you from pinching your cheeks.
I don't even have an excuse! Your story was practically Homer and the Odyssey.
Postscript: I tried to listen to the podcast, I really, really wanted to, but with my pokey dial-up service, it takes 2.9 hours to download!
Too funny! however, it is perfectly alright to take pleasure in the little things in life!
Whoa. In the midst of that first paragraph, I thought you were going to tell us you were pregnant. Whoa.
Does this call for a knitted toilet seat cover?
It seems perfectly normal to me that you're so happy about your toilet seat. Perfectly normal! When we moved into our current house, we had no trash pick-up. Yes, even in southern California there are areas that have dirt roads, water wells, no cable and no trash pick-up. And, until the last few years, this was one of them. After a decade of hauling everything to the dump once a month or so, the trash run got very old, very quickly. To compound the problem, I didn't have a garbage disposal. After ten or so years and with the new developement in the area, we started getting some services but they would only pick up trash cans if we took it out to the paved road a quarter-mile from the house but we could have a dumpster at the house. We decided on one of the little half-size dumpsters. When it was delivered I was SO excited, I called everyone I knew to rave about my 'cute little dumpster'. It took at least a year before my excitement wore off. Now, that's proof that somebody needs a life if anything is.
I assume that your toilet is new enough (although it's older than your ownership of the house) that it's low flow? Because if it wasn't you should get a new toilet as soon as there is a reason, to save water, shouldn't you?
I can so relate. Our house is partly 1904 and partly 1920's, with funky footed tub and tiny cute sink, and no way to get faucet parts for tub or sink without going 1990s or paying a fortune to a renovator's supply.
Then I heard there is some garage-of-old-guy's-house turned amazing-plumbing-store in an old part of town, went looking for it and could not find it. The answer is perhaps walking distance from my house but it's hiding! Aargh.
Yippee for the toilet seat!
Since my husband doesn't read your blog, I'll just say it for him: Couldn't you...KNIT...a new toilet seat? (He overestimates the power of knitting, but only slightly. It could be felted, right?)
So glad the Toilet Seat Gods smiled upon you---they're getting back at The Gods of All Things Automotive who tested your husband so cruelly. This is his reward.
Funny, funny, funny. My husband who is a lover of old er unique plumbing fixtures cracked up and said, " I have GOT to meet this woman." So look out. I finished my FIRST pair of socks and although they look a little lumpy, bumpy, they fit my husband. Your directions were the only ones that made sense to me. Thanks for that.
We have been through the same thing with vent covers for our ductwork. We live in an older house (only 55 years old, but we keep hearing that it's an "Older House" and that that is why everything we need to buy is not available...because not one freaking thing we have was built to a standard size, including our daggoned front door). I can totally relate, but could never have told the story as well! Did you purchase a second one as a back-up?
Very funny. I understand the need for a non-broken toilet seat. We had a pincher for a few days, it was bad. The only male in the house was rather amused to hear the occasional squeak. OK, he was about 8 at the time, with a perverse sense of humor.
You are so great. I snorted hot coco out my nose at that one. I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one who shows of new bathroom fixtures. I recently took out an old moldy shower enclosure, the old and moldy caulk and re did the whole thing. I had to have everyone who came to Thanksgiving dinner go in and marvel at it. I'm thinking new toilet seet is the next great thing.
Thanks for the mornings laughter. Heidi
I loved this post! I am glad the family buns are out of danger (can you imagine the post if the seat finally broke and someone had to go to the Emergency Room????). And I am glad that I am not the only one with "throne issues".
You are not alone with toilet seat conversations. But mine was on Thanksgiving and I was telling my kids the story about how my mom wearing some plasticy hoop earrings (it was the seventies, mind you). My dad noticed them and said, " Joan, Why are you wearing toilet seat earrings?" My my kids giggled, as that was the point of the story. Never wear earrings that could be mistaken for toilet seats. Love you Harlot!
I am equally pathetic. Last month the adult toilet in our house broke. In full disclosure it stopped working properly about a year ago. To flush the bowl completely required filling a small bucket of water and dumping it from a significant height into the toilet at the exact time you pushed the handle. A little awkward perhaps but it was a very low flush toilet so we felt good about this fix. (When I was really clever I would save the bath water for this job.)
Well...in October the little gizmo inside that regulates the water level broke and flushing then required not only the high bucket of water but also reaching into the tank and lifting the flap manually--this proved to be impossible for most family members to handle.
Reluctantly I called the plumber. Ten days later he came and looked (think about ten days of the bucket and flap maneuver) and declared the toilet dead and recommended a plumbing supply showroom.
I never knew the choices in toilets. Simply had no idea. Being rather tall we opted for a nifty tall, low flush, bisque model--with a lift lever. For the first few days I made my children gaze upon it repeatedly. So much so in fact that my children started to mock me in public. However, I am happy to explain that I am loathe to buy new things and that the new toilet is a true wonder. (Who knew you didn't HAVE to stoop to use one!)
So...I'm equally pathetic. But, I'm glad know there are others out there who appreciate these things.
So now you and Joe are feeling all flushed with success, right?
you should go back and get another one so as to avoid this heartache in the future.
yes, hilarious. mark of a good writer to make toilet seats entertaining. plus, i can totally relate to the mundane-yet-obscure product search. maybe a new genre of writing has been born?
Oh Stephanie, what a great way to start my day :) The sad thing is I could COMPLETELY relate! Hmm perhaps I need to get a life too? Cheers!
This is the sign of a good writer: You may have had the most boring blog topic ever, but you still managed to keep us interested in it and laughing :-) And at the end of it, think toilet seats are a perfectly acceptable topic for a blog.
So funny! But unfortunately I can relate. We have an old house complete with lots of weird problems. I've had my share of "toilet seat" moments!
too freakin' precious. seriously!
I can totally relate. Just this morning while in bed- I awoke and said listen... they are emptying the dumpster!!! Now that is nothing to be excited about-except it had not been emptied for 3 weeks (new driver just plain forgot about us) and our old house rehab rubbish had it over flowing. We both smiled and rolled over and went back to sleep. I love the new toilet seat and totally understand your bliss-there's not any worse than getting pinched on a broken seat!!!
I giggled through this entire story. But maybe I can relate as I recently announced I want a new seat in "my" bathroom, a nice wooden one. Nothing wrong with the current one, but the finish is damaged. And although a "used" seat sounds bad, if you think about it when you bought the house all the seats were "used".
The worst blog topic ever practically made me bust a gut laughing! Given the string of bad luck Joe has been having, it was high time he was blessed by the gods of bathroom fixtures, and I'm glad it came with a chrous of angels. I will not assume you have lost your mind due to the sock-on-the-seat shot. If you knit it a toilet seat cover, however, I will have to call the men in the white coats on you.
I hope this is the first in a long series of unexpectedly delightful turns of events for Joe and you. My goodness, you deserve it!
This is definitely a story any homeowner could appreciate. :) Enjoy your new seat and be proud of it! :D
And you bought a second one right in the event something happens to it? Very interesting shaped toilet and seat btw.
Congrats on your purchase. Did you tink to buy two, just in case for next time?
You took a sock picture on your toilet. Think about that for a moment. No, really. Just think about it.
Ha! But now you know the toilet itself is going to break, right?
You might want to share he name of that plumbing supply place to those on the European Toilet Seat of Heartache Support Group List, and maybe they could disband.
You know, I was pretty excited about my new toilet seat too, and my husband just went down to Home Depot to buy it. Yours was definitely harder to come by, but what a cool looking seat it is. The socks are a nice touch.
Too funny! My only question is: don't you want to go back and buy ANOTHER one to have in reserve? In case they really are totally and completely discontinued in the future?
See, this is yarn-thinking in action: if I don't buy enough (yarn, toilet seats, whatever) now, I might not be able to find what I want in (weeks, months, years) from now :-)
Take joy in the little (odd goofy) things.
My hubby and I get excited over the oddest stuff too!! Heck a new toilet seat is something to rejoice about! Comeon.. while you're sitting and reading (about knitting) you want a comfy (unpinched) place for your tushie! :)
I moved into an apartment a few months ago and discovered that a) the toilet seat hinges and shower hose needed replacing and b) it was less hassle to do it myself than call the landlord. So I took myself off to the DIY store and found out my kind of toilet seat is discontinued, so no hinges for me. I'm left having to replace the entire toilet seat. Which I did! And the shower hose! All by myself, with no leaks or mishaps or breaking things or swearing! I was so very proud, I wanted to tell all my friends but they just thought I was weird :)
My dad was proud of me, though :D
Oh my god. Did you buy 10? You never know when *this* one will crack. And if it doesn't, you can re-create the pink chibi fiasco of 2005, only in the form of toilet seats. Everyone on ebay will want one, and only *you* will have them!
I recently spent 2 whole days being proud of myself for calling the dryer repair man, because if you call an appliance repair shop, that means you're finally a *real* grown up.
I can completely agree with your feelings of joy finally finding the thing you were looking for to go into your house. I've spent a lot of time looking for things like that to retrofit our apartment...things like getting the right piece of foam to buoy up our couch, finding the only lampshade that fits our shadeless lamp (actually, I conceded defeat on that one, realizing that I have more important things to do than search for a lampshade!). There have been others but they escape my mind at this time.
But I've felt the same euphoria and I know of which you speak! I'm glad you found the elusive toilet seat...and brand new, too!!
We recently bought new toilet seats with "soft-closing" lids. You just have to nudge them, and they slowly ease down all by themselves. No more kids slamming lids! Now of course when we go to normal people's houses we forget and make a racket in their bathrooms...
OK, so since we're on toilet seats, I thought I could share that I experienced the nicest, most comfortable toilet seat the other day at a bingo hall! I couldn't believe my arse! It must have been one just like your fancy European molded types cause I've never had a potty seat so comfortable!
You know, I blogged about fixing our toilet seat once and my story wasn't NEARLY as thrilling as yours, as ours was a standard something-or-other that I just needed to go to the hardware store to replace.
Congratulations! For you this week it's toilet seats, for me it is septic tanks. Don't you hate it when your mundane life interferes with your glamorous life? I know I do.
Thank goodness for boring. I love boring. It's vastly preferred over my own weekend's excitement which involved fainting. Twelve times. Creating much consternation, poking, prodding and expert medical opinion. No one could figure it out though. Instead of thanking God for good health just prior to eating our turkey, I should have prayed for a boring life.
If I were you, I'd send Joe out to buy a spare.
The city was giving out new lo-flow toilets for free in an effort to conserve water. The DSB and I got WAY excited about it...then we got the new toilet and the flapper sticks and it's really alot larger than our old toilet and the DBS hates it and even a few of our friends have commented on their disapproval of the new camode.
This is hilarious! And a very pretty potty I must say. I have a friend whose husband once took the toiled seat off the bowl when it was his turn to clean the bathroom and ran it through the dishwasher.
Been there done that due to discontinued colors and a mutual hatred of wooden toilet seats (I mean how do you clean those things?) Why didn't you buy 2 for the next time you have a cracked toilet seat?
Congratulations. My search for the just-right toilet seat has been going on since 2001. We had our bath redone and installed a new (Canadian) toilet. The workers somehow messed up the old seat-- even threw it out without asking. It was a wonderful seat. It went down all by itself. No batteries. Went back to hardware store and they deny all knowledge. Contacted the seat company-- ditto. I HAVE THE TAGS FROM THE SUCKER, people. It really did exist. So your post really speaks to me. Sit long and prosper.
I firmly believe that the ability to take such joy and pleasure from mundane things is one of the key factors in having a happy life.
To go a step further and be able to give everyone else a laugh and a bit of joy about? Perfect!
Oh..HOW...FUNNY. You have such a knack of making a mundane task so hysterical.
I'll share a toilet seat story too. My husband and I went to England on a business trip and were invited to stay at the manufaturer president's (Peter) home for 3 days. The first night I used the guest bathroom I sat down and the seat broke. I panicked. I told my husband and he started laughing so hard the host came into the bedroom to see what was so funny...yup my husband told him what I had done. The next day my husband & I went to day long appointments and upon our return to their home Peter announced that the seat was replaced, that it was a solid wood and brass seat that cost sixty pounds ( about $120.00). The prevoius seat was discontinued and the only one that would fit was wood and brass. We are great friends to this day. ( They wouldn't let us pay anything either)
Note the name of the store that had the toilet seat and when you go to sell the house, pass that information over to the new owners.
They'll love you forever.
(Or just go and buy another one. Just in case. Sell it with the house.)
But shouldn't discontinued toilet seats that are soooooo hard to find be bought in matched sets - like knitting needles......???????
Oh geeze- this was so good I giggled out loud at work- and people stared. Seriously- cracks in thy seat are not fun and can be quite painful when one's hiney skin then fills said crack and is pinched pinched pinched!
The fact that you would show a picture of your toilet impresses me. There are two little boys who live in my house and if you were to be a fly on the wall you might overhear "Watch the pen*s, watch the pen*s!"
I'm telling you, if you do not buy another one RIGHT THIS MINUTE, you will be smited by disaster. It can sit on the shelf for 20 years, protecting your house from toilet seat breaking disasters.
I think what frightens me most is not that you blogged on getting a new toilet seat, but that as of right now, there are 97 comments in response to said blog entry.
I don't suppose you bought a spare for when this one breaks???
That is hilarious.
And I can kind of relate, when we purchased this house, I hated the toilet seat. I went and got a new one after about a week here at the house. Luckily ours is a standard toilet, so it wasn't hard.
But the joy, sweet joy I felt over changing my very own toilet seat into one I purchased myself, it was amazing. We recently got a new toilet, I made my father-in-law put the seat I purchased on the new toilet, because I love it so :). Of course, the seat is only 2 months old, but still ;).
And here I thought hoping that both the plumbing and wiring in our house holds up until the remodel was pushing it! Great post, I loved it!
Funniest post ever--and I really needed the laugh. I have been faintly depressed since I drove past a sign yesterday that said "28 days until Christmas."
I think it is absolutely beautiful!!!
I'm with Barbara A. M. on your need for accessories. But I'm thinking more of a toilet seat cover, knitted of course!
However, upon reflection and reviewing of your Christmas list, and bearing in the mind the mounting pressure from The Blog on Joe's gansey; maybe not.
What, Joe didn't see a burning bush, too? [vbg]
My dad's hobby was building houses. Or remodeling them. No, I'm not talking about a business. He built our first house; remodeled part of the interior *and* replaced the entire foundation in the second; then designed and built a 2-story log cabin house after he retired. Partly because of the savings, but mostly because he enjoyed it. Having grown up with this surrounding me, I too know the joys of finding the perfect piece of elusive hardware you've been searching for!
The only thing to say is - wear it in good health!
I think the key to happiness is appreciating the happiness you have. A new toilet seat isn't world peace, but it's definitely something to be happy about. I think everyone can appreciate the simple pleasure of not sitting on a broken toilet seat. Hurrah!
It is the simple things in life....
Life is so much more full of happiness when you find joy in small things. :)
I also wanted to say that I greatly admire your cleanliness and bravery - never would I make public a picture that shows the area behind my toilet. Even after cleaning, it looks grungy - yours is very nice and tidy.
Weirdest thing I've ever commented on. Just taking note.
It is totally acceptable to be this excited over toilets. I mean, think of how happy people were once out houses were no longer necessary.
But yeah. You might want to get out and do something exciting. If this was the highlight of your week I mean.
I don't think it's dorky or boring at all. You spend a lot of time there, it's important to have the right seat. I really think you ought to go back and get another one to put in storage, to save yourself possibly having to do this again in thirty years (fully aware, of course, that the rule of the universe dictates that if you don't buy two seats now then the currently new seat will break in five years, and if you buy two now, the girls will find the extra one in a closet long after you're gone and it'll only serve as further evidence to them that their mom was totally whack).
You probably heard me burst out laughing when I hit the second paragraph of your post. I think we are twins from different mothers. AND, I think that is one awesome toilet seat. Beautiful curves. Very stylish. You should be very proud of it. I hope that all arses that use it will find it as spectacular as I do. You rock.
I really, really hope you asked if they had another and bought a backup, just in case. I like new toilet seats, I change mine every year or two. (I totally get the glee/excitement ... must find life...)
The gods are shining down on Joe again - as he deserves - as both of you deserve.
I was waiting for you to say you realized that Joe could glue the seat back together and you could knit and felt a cover - which would, of course, have to be laundered now and again. Think how nice it would be to sit on cozy felt!
Oh ye of little faith, clearly you've no idea how easily we are amused. ;)
I had the same experience about a new front and back door a couple of weeks ago. The back door has been the bane of my life (sticks in winter, and summer, and damp parts of autumn and spring), and the prospect of a BRAND NEW DOOR that won't stick EVER is fabulous!
The prospect of the large chunk of change we have yet to part with is the only damper on the whole process.
It's a good thing you found the seat, else you might have gotten involved in the black market for toilets.
There really is one. I am not making this up. It has to do with the mandated "low flow" standards for new toilets that consume less water per flush. Unfortunately they also consume less... um, less, so they're more likely to clog, so people will go to great lengths to get an old-style toilet.
Jodi is absolutely right: you should go back to that store and buy every one of those seats they have.
But you know, even from just that little photo you can tell it's quite a loverly toilet seat! And they do say it's the little things...
Perhaps we are easily amused, but you are a heck of a writer. So there.
it's the littlest things that make us the happiest..who needs a life when you have a BRAND NEW TOILET SEAT!
"Then Joe and I stand in the bathroom together and we put our arms around each other and we look at it and sigh contentedly. We go to bed with this warm glow of happiness that we thought we would never feel again with this toilet."
Thanks. There's now sprayed hot chocolate via my nasal passages on my screen.
I needed the laugh, though =)
I guess I need a life.. or at least get out more because I am totally with you on the toilet seat, and what a Beauty! AND the toilet? beyond lovely. see? you are not alone. GD Gracie agrees, only 4 and already quite the toilet maven. (it's one of the first things she takes note of in a house... and yes, she really is quite alright...)
You're right: it's a lousy knitting blog topic.
I am laughing so hard, I am almost crying.
My youngest daughter took it on herself to replace ours, and one of the sharpest double-takes I ever did was in realizing she had just come downstairs with a look on her face and gone back up carrying a pruning saw. I'm not much at home repairs, but even I suspected that there was no job in that bathroom best accomplished with a pruning saw.
Good timing, too, since if I made any enquiry into yesterday's Spinning Tuesday I suspect you'd be pissed.
Nothing worse (almost) than getting pinched by a crack in the toilet seat. (Been there, done that...)
Hey, use it in good health. or not so good health.
It's the little things in life that cause us the most pain & the most happiness. Like a toilet seat that fits.
well, not to feed into your mood of feeling boring, BUT, you should really REALLY go back and get another seat (you know, for next time, in case that store doesn't exist in several more years).
ok, you can tell that
A) i live in a freaky old house too, and
B) we are also really boring
oh my. and to boot, i just suggested you start a toilet seat stash. just shoot me, ok?
yup, this is karmic payback for last week. *contented sigh*
I don't think it's funny at all. Actually, my husband and I are a LOT like you guys, and we would be rejoicing just like you in the find of the toilet seat. I especially loved how Joe fell on his knees to receive the toilet seat. I can just picture that ......
What anne said . . . you better go back to the fancy-pants store and get a spare seat! Just in case!
Toilet seats are important. We need someplace (at least marginally)comfortable to sit when we need to do deep thinking. I, myself have spent time obsessively searching for just the right toilet seat, so I completely understand the joy. Um, did you buy an extra? You know, just in case.
What an odd coincidence! We bought all new toilet seats (to impress our Thanksgiving house guests- who I'm sure were dazzled) - and let me tell you we were just as excited. My husband came home with them and proudly declared that we'd "made it to the big time" now that we no longer have the cheap builder grade plastic seats. I consider them more of an indication of our maturing priorities than a status symbol.
Clearly you have an excellent life - any life peaceful and happy enough for a new toilet seat to be a major adventure has got to be pretty darn good.
I once felt a similiar thrill of victory after successfully fitting a new dryer hose.
Some things are so important that they over-shadow all else. Proper fitting toilet seats are one of them.
its always good when something finally goes right:)
See, this is why conservation will never be my strong suit. After the first day, I'd have bought a new toilet and sent a plumber to pick it up and install it--and then I'd have cheerfully pitched the old toilet in the trash.
And, oh my god, did you really say there is only one toilet in a house with three teenaged girls?!
This happened to me more often than you'd like to hear lately. I recently remodeled a bathroom in my house that was built in 1928 that still had many original fixtures. Isn't it frustrating?
Hey, maybe you guys need to subscribe to some new magazines to give you a chance to spend a little time with your new purchase! (Sorry, that was tacky). I'm all for finding peace and pleasure in the little things in life.
I'm the only female in my one-toilet household, every Christmas I beg for a commode-of-my-own, one that doesn't require regular swabbing... (Housebreaking others isn't my strong point, though dogs are easier) We also inherited an old, funky (leaky) toilet with our old, funky (leaky) house. A new seat would be "beyond words" welcome, a new toilet would be cause for a party! Thank you for letting me vicariously share your joy!
I can totally, 100% sympathize. Except for me it was cabinet hardware - we have cabinets from 1973, with the non-standard 3 1/2" boring. Found lots of 3", and 3 3/4", but it took a month of me visiting every local store and every place on the internet to finally found a restoration type store online with decent looking pulls in the right size. They were almost twice what I had originally thought it would cost, but it was totally worth it to not have to try to re-drill and patch veneer cabinets.
Your version is much funnier. :)
I was on hold with the IRS and reading your post while I waited "just a sec" for Mr. X to do some research. You know that just as I started to giggle, Mr. X came back on the line. My client's situation really isn't funny so it was awkward.
I'm sorry, I don't see what is so pathetic about this! :)
I can identify about getting a life - I lived overseas in construction site settlements for many years, and one day I stopped in the middle of a sentence because I realized that another woman and I were actually having a conversation relating to getting clothes whiter! I knew it was only a matter of time before I started wearing frilly aprons and referring to my "hubby"... Unfortunately this was well before the days of the Internet (and computers for that matter) so I didn't have access to the YarnHarlot blog to bring me back to what's really important - knitting! Thanks for the laugh!
Now, I was totally interested and entertained by that story. And, yes, fancy-smancy toilets should be kept. I will add your good toilet seat fortune to my list of things I'm thankful for in 2007.
We have a similar, yet less distressing (though still annoying) problem of having a "non-standard" size bathtub. you'd think that since there are so many 6' tubs now, that there would be shower curtains made for 6' tubs. only there's not. so i have to cut up a second one to not have water splash all over.
manufacturers don't seem to think things through.
OMG. You mean? You're NORMAL?????
Thank goodness. I mean...really. Boring and normal.
Oh, you're not alone! Me and my DH are having similar trials with our vintage built-with-the-house in 1955 toilets. (We refuse to get new ones... the US has strange laws that all new toilets must be unable to flush properly or store a decent amount of water. While I applaud the government's attempts at environmental responsibility... I really wish they'd leave toilets alone!)
Given that the basic function hasn't changed since indoor water-closets were invented, you wouldn't think there'd be such a wide range of "we don't make that any more" in Toilet-Land, would you?
You are one of the most talented writers I have never met. Your ability to make a toilet seat sound interesting is amazing. I was honestly hooked from the the beginning even though you told me it was going to be bad. So much talent!
Very Funny and something I can totally identify with. We have a major fixer upper here in San Francisco, CA. Case in point, I was upset once again at how long its taking for us to replace the cold water mechanism in our bathroom sink. My poor little guy and the rest of us included have to brush our teeth and wash our hands quickly before the water gets too hot! So I can totally relate at such happiness over a new seat cover:)
Toilet seats are a part of life, sweety. Imagine life without them.
It's the simple things that are the most exciting and most important.
clearly this is payback for joe's really bad, very bad, super bad week. congrats on the toilet seat. i SO get it, because damn.. i have the wood one; yet uncarved.
And to think that we just used clear duct tape on our toilet seat that cracked. In the guest bath, no less. We must be really tacky! Enjoy your new seat.
Well. I now know exactly where you do your ..... ummm.... thinking?
And- it's confirmed the Harlot has a throne. ;) Not the cashmere cushioned one we had envisioned... but a throne none the less.
Sounds like the week of doom has ended and things are in an upswing for Joe- Hooray!
(hmmm seems to me you want more of a downflow than and upswing with toilet fixing.......needles crossed)
My husband and I have been married for 27 years and we too get excited about the small stuff! Several years ago my husband decided to make a career change and so we sold everything, packed up our house and moved our family from California to Iowa for four years of school. We lived in a two bedroom on campus housing apt with our three daughters aged 9yrs, 4 1/2yrs, and 4 months in all of 600 sq ft. In 1995 my husband graduated from Dental school and so we made the trip back to California, family intact, now ages 13yrs, 9yr, and 4 yrs (daughters respectively). We settled in to our new home and struggled through the expense of setting up a new business and all the expenses it entails. Our biggest celebration that first year was coming home from the dept of motor vehicles with our new California license plate on our car. While out taking pictures to send to friends and family our neighbor next door drives up in her brand new Mercedes Benz car! yeah, we celebrate the big stuff!
OK, I've never posted before, but now I MUST....Hearing your story, I do not feel so bad. I moved into a house with a discontinued blue toilet, yes BLUE. When the seat went, I went everywhere, nobody had it. Finally after a long-long time with a blue toilet and a white seat-yuck. I found a supply store who was networked and they were able to find one in Las Vegas! (I am in Upstate NY). I, of course, yelled "get that seat". I was so happy, the men at the plumbing store looked at me like I needed to get a life. Some people just don't understand.
btw- I was remiss- the seat- truly is perfect.
You must be so proud.
Yes, the fancy stores are around for a very good reason :) Isn't it nice that some fancy places carry weird parts because your appliance cost too darned much to replace it and it should be of goodqualitygoshdarnit?
Ah, the toilet. I want one that uses less water, but I also want to redo the entire bathroom. It is bad to not have any ventilation in a bathroom.
Remember Erma Bombeck built an entire life's very successful carrreer around events like broken toilet seats. Everyone relates to such trials and loves reading ironic and insightful tales about others' experience with them.
No matter how much of a life you have, the elimination of one of the many chronic little annoyances of life brightens the day like few other things. And few other things affect life in a house more than a single toilet that becomes non- or mal-functional. Even a broken washing machine has easier work arounds.
My father once gave my mother a used toilet seat for Christmas - a well-used but refinished antique oak seat - to replace a long painfully broken one. It was the best present of the day.
I have to admit that toilet seats aren't really my thing but it is quite lovely. However, I showed it to my mom, a plumber, and she practically swooned (she never swoons) so congratulations.
Well, now that you have bought one - did you buy a spare or two for future reference?
Such a funny post! But I also have to mention the commenter who told about someone's husband putting the toilet seat through the dishwasher! oh.my.god...I'm speechless. Would someone, even a man, think of something like that???
Having been involved in previous desperate hunts for various things to fit various other things (being in a 120 year old house and all) I can sympathize mightily with you both. You deserve to bask in your success.
Do you think you could call the Toyota people and get them to sell me the one floor mat I need (having worn a hole straight through it) instead of the set of 6 (it's a minivan) they insist have to be sold as a set? You seem to have good manufacturer karma right now and maybe that would help.
Please tell me you've asked them if they have another one.
With Age and Experience Come Wisdom In NYC
Harlot you are alway worth reading even when you tell of toilets.
Only someone who has never NEEDED a non-existent toilet seat could think that this story is less than thrilling. The only toilet at my office is a diminutive version (no, not my idea, it was also here when I moved here)that is otherwise used on some boats (yachts??), and has a particular tiny toilet seat. It needed to be replaced several times and the handyman found replacements at a boating store----but this time, it was getting to be embarrassingly used---and there was NO replacement to be found. Distressingly, the bathroom is so tiny, with a matching tiny sink wedged into the corner, that a replacement toilet of a normal size was not possible, so this would have taken a revamping of the entire waiting room and bathroom (perhaps a good idea in a philosophical sense but a practical nightmare).
We put off doing anything as long as we could and then found a guy who makes custom toilet seats. You take him the toilet seat (yes, not so good when it is the only toilet) and he makes a mold and returns the old seat and then some weeks later, has a new seat ready (we bought two although now i think maybe we should have bought more--after all I don't just buy two skeins of sock yarn). I cannot begin to tell you the joy that this seat has brought us.
Like so many things we take for granted until they are gone, a toilet seat is a joy to have
If you had gone to the local Home Depot and gotten a seat off the shelf and waxed poetic about it, I would have said "Get a LIFE!". But when it turns out to be an adventure, you can wax poetic. Especially after Joe's vehicular mayhem.
I am so happy to hear that Joe's luck has finally improved. And yes, the shaped seat qualifies as freaky (although it's actually quite lovely). But please, button flushing toilets are not freaky! Down here in Australia all of our toilets have buttons. In fact, most of them have 2! One for flushing a little bit, and one for flushing ... a lot. :)
That was beautiful. *tears up*
No, we don't have lives either. Want to hear about replacing the halogen light on the deck?
Don't you love how all of us are so genuinely excited for your new toilet seat? :) I don't think its pathetic. I think of it as enjoy the simple things in life.
And you know, I completely understand this, having purchased and replaced my two toilet seats all by myself not a month ago, and having completely scared off my sons' friends by constantly pointing out the fact of the new toilet seats...
yes, getting a life might be a good thing...you let me know how yours goes and I'll let you know about mine...
Wow. I always thought you just had to buy a new house....
My husband and I live in a cottage built in 1920 or so. He's remodeling it into a house, without tearing it down. (Quite a feat in and of itself.) He is always looking for fixtures that look just right for the house. He understands your joy. A
Sounds like Joe's karma has finally turned! Yay!!!
Only someone who has never had to put up with a dodgy toilet would disparage your post. We have building work planned for 2000-and-ever, and I come home each day hoping that today isn't the day my toilet finally springs a leak. At the moment, it drips occasionally from the pipe below the cistern, but the limescale does a good job at stopping it. (You can't clean the pipes or the scale gets dislodged and it starts dripping again.)
- Pam (hoping I didn't test fate by mentioning the L-word)
Wow! Cool shapely toilet and seat!!! There ought to be a law about creating toilets and seats like that. We had the same issue with a differently styled toilet seat, but we went for the toilet replacement solution. We didn't like the toilet--for reasons we don't get into, but it has to do with older knees--and we like the new low water usage one. It's also taller!! Yippee!!
My daughter had a similar issue with a light bulb for a new lamp. Did you know that these days there are dozens of light bulb bottoms and styles??? After searching all stores and internet, we finally went back to the store where she bought the lamp. Turns out they forgot to give her thelight bulb bottom adapter!!
don't kid yourself. i love a good toilet seat story. the first thing i do when i move into a new apartment is replace the ones that were there. that reminds me, our seats need replacing....
You could knit a cozy for it...Show your love in wool...
A lot of people get excited about toilet seat covers. When we moved into our house, we found an awesome 50's green toilet with a horrible 70's green replacement seat. We DID buy the wooden seat and had the color matched (did not have to carve it or anything). Painted about 15 coats and voile, a matching cover! It's simply thrilling!
Loved your blog entry today! Funny as always -- you never disappoint, even if you did write about a toilet today.
I live in a wonderfully old house, so I know the joy you are experiencing over your new toilet seat! Believe me, I do. I like to think I have a life, but things like this make me happy too. It would have truly SUCKED to spend good yarn money on a brand new toilet just because the seats aren't available anymore for your old one. So take good care of that seat since you know it is a treasure. :-) Enjoy...
I also completely understand this, having been in the same situation. If you'd like to get a life and/or get out more, how about going out to your fancy-pants plumbing place to see if they have the last replacement tank cover in North America to fit my toilet? I was a bit jealous when I read your description of the 'immaculate reception' of the much sought-after seat; I, too, would like to experience the angels & pure light as I get down on bended knee to receive my toilet tank cover.
I'm really curious - you note that your weird-arse European toilet has a button to flush it. Aaaah, how else do toilets work? I've always had a push-the-button-to-flush it toilet...
Believe me, I understand. I've just taught a toddler to use the potty, and a new toilet seat was EXACTLY what made the world of difference. (long story) But yes, toilet seats can change your life. LOL
Congrads on yours!
You have to admit, that is a pretty cool toilet.
You should have him go back and buy another one, just in case! (I think that's totally worth blogging about btw.)
Oh My oh my You are so funny--the angels sang and the sun shines just did me in altogether. Congratualations on the new seat that doesn't pinch your arss everytime you sit on it . One more thing --you can't go out more --you have all that Christmas knitting to get done or is it ALREADY finished ? Thank you for the laugh.
You have every right to be excited. That looks like one swanky terlet.
this is so funny - I'm sending to my mom to read :-)
Love it! Wild toilet. I sympathize as I just redid my kitchen and the included bathroom (can you believe they put bathrooms in kitchens in houses built after 1927?).
Personally, I think that is very newsworthy; it's not called the throne room for no reason. Also, just listening to the Podcast, and I must say I love zip lock bags as well. In fact, my mother asked me last week 'can't you find a better knitting bag than that?' I think I looked at her like she had 5 heads, I though it made sense to everyone why you should keep your knitting in a zip lock bag.
When we bought this 1950 era house the seats looked to be originals. I couldn't bring myself to use them, so we got new ones right away.Like in the first fifteen minutes of ownership! But this year, banner year for us, we got a new toilet to replace the quirky one, AND a new floor in the upstairs chuck!(chuck because hubby John does not like his name used in vain):O) No more hit and miss flushing, and no more ugly ugly floorwithtinyflowersscrapesanddents. I'm still telling guests to tell me what they think of the new toilet and floor! It's made the last few months very happy!
Hold crap that's funny, Stephanie (wow, and as I type I realize the allusion to your post there) I'm glad that you were able to find that one thing you needed most. So... did they have the sink fixtures, too?
Just as horrible to this reader? I totally understand. Houses do this to you.
I just installed a "water softener blanket". Blanket is a misnomer, it's fiberglass and not very comfy at all. But, dammit, I did it. Rock on, home improvement gurus!!
cracking up over here.
it's a lovely toilet seat.
you may want to go back and buy another, you just NEVER KNOW.
After reading 2 days of your blogs. Can I ask?? Are you me??? Here I thought only things from the truck, wrecks, to brand new shinny toliet seats only entered my world.
glad hubby is not hurt. :)
Congratulations on the new toilet seat. I'm trying not to laugh, but this sounds like something friends of mine would do. They get excited at the thought of a new set of curtains . . .
But Steph, it is blog related. Price of seat vs price of a new toilet. Think of all the money you saved so that you can spend it on fibery stuff!
Most of who live in older homes can relate. You never know what will happen when something breaks.
Enjoy your overcoming an obstacle and showing your kids that if you persevere you can find a solution.
Well, it sounds like a good idea.
Deb in PA
The funniest thing about the whole thing is that you have a real life. My highlight this week is a new frying pan!
Um, I guess I need to get a life too because I can totally understand how you guys are excited about that!
It seems to me that after the week Joe had, finding a toilet seat that fit would be triply (or even quadruply!) exciting. Especially since it sounds like he got home from the fancy-pants plumbing store in one piece!
Also...I took a picture of my new bath mat and emailed it to my mom yesterday, because I knew she'd appreciate how nice it is to have something new. Even if it is a bath mat.
I came across your blog after typing in 'knitting donation' into Google. Here is the deal-I lost my Mom, an avid knitter, a year ago to ovarian cancer. My Father has recently piled up all of her wool and we are looking for a good place/cause to donate it to. Do you know if the 'knitters without borders' could use some wool? We would be happy to give.
teehee a crack in the seat is NO GOOD!!
ps. it has just taken me about 30 minutes to try and figure out what kind of toilets you have in north america that you don't flush with a button - we have the button in australia - you have a handle right?? lol
LOL! Hey, I've written about my new toilet seat on my blog, and it's just an ordinary seat. Course I need to get a life too. :)
So that is why we finally got rain in Atlanta!
Um, have to mention that is a cool looking toilet.
Now I know I'm not the ONLY one who gets excited over new home-related purchases. You just don't know what kind of cheer I did when I got my first stand mixer.
The exhaust fan in the bathroom also received high praise when it was new. You just don't know how I wept when I got my first dryer.
Hey, I'd do the same thing for an exotic European-style toilet! And I got just as excited when I splurged and bought a wooden seat. We think that being easily entertained is a virtue! (By the way, our idea of a Big Date is going to a grocery we haven't been in before and walking up and down the aisles declaring "Gee, we don't have THAT back home!" (even when we're in Baraboo, about 40 miles away....)
WE just got a bright blue toilet seat to match our fish/water designed bathroom. we're happy about it and it was just at the local hardware store.
I was just talking to my sister on the telephone and she interrupted me mid-gabble to tell me to get a life because I was obsessing about my chicken being bored.
Sometimes I think I was supposed to live a more exciting life than this, one with intrigue and glamour and lipstick. Certainly one with less laundry.
But for now, I'll stick to lackadaisical poultry and tales of toilet seats. It is the little things that make us happy.
I think that it is a sign of maturity that you are able to find such joy in the seemingly simple things of life!
However, don't let maturity get in your way of getting a life!
Thanks for sharing.
Also- on a side- note- did you know that in Michigan- there are actually people who go to canada- to get toilets- so they aren't "low flow" or whatever.....
We smuggle toilets across the border. Well. not WE. I have never- but I HEAR that people do.
Well, I think it says something that since noon you have received over 200 responses to this crazy post!! I am sure I am not the only one who can completely relate! To the search (you do deserve a lot of credit for foresight and early action) and to the joy of finally finding what you were searching for! For bringing in friends and neighbors to see the final results! Was Joe also able to find the necessary parts to fix the sink? Thanks for sharing and for a great laugh. I was waiting for the knitted toilet seat....
I'm so glad that nothing (cough) no one got pinched! I lived in Germany for 9 years and we had the push button toilet and another one where the handle was on top and you had to pull it! See it was all those good vibes that were being sent to Joe, since he was the one who found it! Love your blog!!!!! You (your books) are my christmas present from my hubby! Thanks!!!!! Nat Alea
It's a blessing to be excited by the small things in life. Makes the rest of life so much less disappointing.
I have two bathrooms with Harvest Gold fixtures and a similar toilet seat problem. I suggest that you send Joe back to the fancy fixtures store to buy another seat, maybe two. If you do that, nothing will ever go wrong with this new seat in your lifetime. If you don't, something dreadful will happen right after the seat is no longer imported into Canada.
Do I know this from personal experience? I've got two new low-flow toilets and two lavatory sinks on order in white, in the most common brand of bathroom fixtures in the US. No more colored fixtures for me.
Dude, I can think of far worse things to be excited about. Congrats on the un-cracked seat, by the way. I'd imagine using the thing was a tad trecherous before.
Moreover, I totally get the excited about a toilet thing. For instance, the one thing I remember most vividly about a trip to Japan a couple years ago was how wonderfully cool all of the toilets were. For one, they all said TOTO on them. This was, of course, the brand, but the Wizard of Oz reference is still kind of neat. In addition, they made water-running sounds while you sat on them (none of this "oh no, is it rude that they can hear me pee?" stuff), and they came with heated seats. I really think that if someone showed up at my house with a TOTO toilet that had a heated seat I might feel a little weepy with joy, too!
This makes my post about stone that much more horrible. ;-)
LOVE your writing.
That is freaking hysterical! Oddly enough a couple months back we too bought a new toilet seat (my husband was so excited). Its wood. It matches our new sink. My husband took pics with his camera phone and sent them to our friends and family back home. We apparently have no life either.
Okay--in my end? My husband and I offer each other the uhm, intimate favor of choice, plus dinner and a movie, to the hero/ine who folds laundry. Folds laundry, you ask? What's so big about that? Well, the big thing is actually the CLEAN PILE--it's 2X6X3 feet big--it's damn near a cubic yard of LAUNDRY--there are clothes in there that haven't fit our children for a year.
A celebratory toilet seat? Amen and hallelujia, sister, the angels have a chorus in your name.
If you have ever sat upon a cracked toilet seat in the middle of the night...let's just say that it's hard to get back to sleep. Good for you!!! Completely thrilled!
at long last the world knows where
to find the seat of all knowledge
I didn't read all the other comments but don't you think you should go back and pick up a few extras? If they're that hard to find you may want three or four in the attic to sell with the house when the time comes.
Congrats on your toilet seat victory!
I am still laughing. It's the little things...
But you did forget one important fact: You still got the knitting forces of the world on your side. We still are a force to be reckoned with ;o) How long do you think it would have taken to locate a matching/fitting toilet seat had you told The Blog about this? Half of all European knitters read your blog. We'd been on a quest ;o)So to all of you who are in dire need of a new European toilet seat: Blog about it. Europe has lots of knitters in many countries. I'll be damned if we didn't find you the toilet seat of your dreams ;o)
If it makes you feel any better, I had a rather long conversation with my boss today on finding a free-standing toilet roll holder, where i could find one, and not to get one that's ugly tacky plastic, but nicer and looks presentable because we are, after all, a respectable institution.
it's on the list of "great/ridiculous conversations at work".
enjoy the new toilet seat!
We got new toilet seats a few months ago. The new ones have this special hinge so when you put them down (we have 3 boys) they don't slam, they just gently go down. I was pretty excited. (my life is really glamorous, eh?)
Better go back and buy a second.
You're fricking hilarious, you know that right?
As someone whose broken flush handle resulted in a complete bathroom renovation last spring, I congratulate you!
(We recently had a cracked toilet seat--the fixture in question was original to the house, i.e. 70 years old, and the toilet DID have to be replaced). Sometimes you just CAN'T win!
After Katrina, when I finally got some drywall for my mother's house? I proudly showed the neighbors. "Look, we have drywall!" Oh, yes I did.
Our own house is "older," it was built in 1947, but Mom's house is close to 100 years old, an Arts and Crafts Sears kit house, and when I say, "kit house," the original house came with EVERYTHING down to nails and wire and pipes and such, even two saplings to plant in the front yard.
I have rummaged through many a dusty shop bin searching for widnow latches, doorknobs and faucetheads with so-many-threads-per-inch on the fitting.
Finding ANY plumbing thing for Mom's house is a ... challenge.
Ah, but that's just it, isn't it? It's the little things like finding the freakishly hard to find odd sized toilet seat that makes your day, and the days that make your life. Take this as a win and celebrate this small victory. Huzzah!
You make me laugh and I really needed that today. It is great to appreciate the little things in life like a new toilet seat!! thanks for your blog.
Funny yes! except I've been there done that. Ours was PINK like in pink bows.....discontinued model/shape and color.... we now have a white bathroom!
When I moved into my present house, I took along the toilet seats I had bought in the 1970s for my previous house. Why? because the top comes apart without tools, just lifts off for cleaning, and they're discontinued.
Re: the tank lid - in the 1960s when the tank lid broke, my father made one out of oak varnished on all surfaces with boat varnish, flat and with a little railing around the edge. Nothing fell off that one.
This was not a toilet seat. This was a grail. You are perfectly within your rights to be ecstatic about it.
I just happen to be reading "Writing Down the Bones," and have recently passed a page in which Natalie Goldberg quotes "With Sincerest Regrets" by Russell Edson:
Like a white snail the toilet slides into the living room, demanding to be loved.
It is impossible, and we tender our sincerest regrets.
In the book of the heart there is no mention made of plumbing.
And though we have spent our intimacy many times with you, you belong to an unfortunate reference, which we would rather not embrace...
The toilet slides out of the living room like a white snail, flushing with grief...
Did ya buy an extra one??? Could be worth a fortune someday!! :)
I have blogged about toilets and plumbing adventures more than once. Welcome to the lower tier of the blogosphere. Now get out of here and back to the heights where you belong! ;)
OMG, we are almost leading parellel lives, I swear. Our wooden toilet seat needed to be replaced (we won't speak of the grunge that would not come off). We have a Toto toilet (highly recommended!!!), and I wanted the seat that goes with it because (get this), it goes down quietly by itself. My struggle was not your struggle, but it did take me quite a while (and ended up costing 2.5x as much). I too spend a bit of every day admiring my lovely new toilet seat. How strange is that?
I started laughing out loud at the second paragraph, and actually laughed until I cried. It's real talent to be able to make a new toilet seat (even an unusually-shaped European one) hilarious!
What do you mean, "Get a life"? Toilet seats are life.
Another one of the things I shouldn't admit on the Internet....
The Boy and I are putting a used toilet, a used bathroom sink, a used kitchen stove AND a used refrigerator (none previously used by us or anyone we know but trust me they have been CLEANED) in our newly built place.
So obviously you're affection for the toilet seat not at all that unusual.
Oh man, one of my childhood memories was of a wooden toilet seat with a crack in it. When you put your weight on it, the crack expanded just enough to grab a bit of skin. And then as you started to get up, it returned to its original dimension, pinching unmercifully. A new toilet seat is a wonderful thing! Joy to the world!
Some things are just too important to not get silly happy over. I have yet to have a major issue with a toilet seat, thankfully, but I can imagine that if it's a problem, it's a big problem. Congrats on finding the right one!
I'd go back and buy another for the future. Who knows when you'll need another? At worst, you could probably sell it on eBay.
Oh, Stephanie I share your joy! We too had a weird toilet for which no toilet seat in the world would fit. I painted and epoxied the worn seat over the years and when finally the whole thing wore out we got a new toilet. It was the joy of my life for quite a while!
Ah, how easily we are amused! Congratulations!
So, umm, can we see the flushing mechanism?
"You're just like the rest of us, only funny."
but NAH, lots of us are funny.
The difference is that YOU CAN WRITE, you are a heckuva writer, and THAT is the difference.
Carry on, GalPal.
It's snowing here in Montana.
And thanks to you, I'm knitting again ...
I think if you looked hard enough you could have found a whittler to make you a custom fit seat. Now, how would you measure yourself for that?
I hope you celebrated and christened it with a few beers.
I let my 7 year old pick out our new toilet seat. We now have this see through acrylic one with seashells, little plastic dolphins and fake green seaweed embedded inside. It's actually quite entertaining and much more fun than our old one :)!
I listened to the podcast. You didn't mention toilet seats, but you did say arse more than once. Thanks.
Weel at least you got a new seat...we have standard toilets and put duck tape on our cracks. The seat is very pretty.
How on earth do you survive with teenagers, a spouse and ONE toilet?
Hey, a comfortable throne is a VERY IMPORTANT thing. When sitting down to contemplate, it is EXTREMELY HARD to relax and let go if you are afraid of being bitten in the butt!!! ;-) Congratulations are definitely in order!!!
You could have duct taped the entire thing over. It is the force that holds the universe together. XD
You have put a smile on my face. I think I would go back, (I might actually run)to the store and buy a couple more seats, just in case something happens to the new one.
Your story today made me ponder... So I called my Mom and asked her how old their toilet seat is now. She thought and said"Well, we got it the year you were born(1951)." I said ,"No, just the seat." She said"It's the same seat". I knew it!! I had never thought of it before, but they have the same toilet/seat we had when we were kids. Yet, I have had 3 new seats in 10 years. A perfect example of planned obselesence. Modern isn't always better.
My husband-of-German-heritage was enthralled by the tale of your toilet seat. Wants to know if it has a proper German poo shelf.
Delightfully hilarious! And actually quite nice! But Joe might want to go back and buy a few more seats, since the toilet will outlive this new seat.
I laughed so hard at this story. You never bore us!! I live vicariously through you! Enoy your new seat!
Oh how I enjoyed this post! Thank you for a good belly laugh.
Hey, my in-laws have that same style of toilet! ('cept theirs is green).
Your interview on the podcast was fantastic. Seriously, I'm glad they gave you so much time to talk about so many different things. You did a great job. I'll definitely be listening to it again.
My husband walked in while I was reading this post. When I told him you were telling us about your new toilet seat he said, "Oh, come on". But he meant it in a funny way as a nod to your last post. Thanks for seeing the humor in the everyday. It helps me see it more easily in my own days.
What are you talking about?! That's the most important seat in the house. It's the only one that can keep your house cleaner, make it smell fresher and keep you comfortable in your own skin all at once. I'd be ecstatic too if I managed to find a toilet seat for it. Why couldn't you find a good finish carpenter to make one for you? It's not a complicated build and a solid enamel paint with a good quality finish would make it look like any other seat while keeping it easy to clean and sanitize. You might have to use natural cleaners but I imagine you do that already.
Now, that reminds me, the potty seat took a good bit of the shine and colour off of ours...
OMG I loved your story. You have a way with words...:)
I scared my cat, you made me laugh so hard.
My husband and I have multiple toilet stories (we own a boat and boat sanitary facilities are a horror story unto themselves) but our biggest problem was when we replaced the vintage toilet in our 1923 house.
My husband picked up a high end model at Home Depot and came home and installed it. I looked at the finished project and asked why is the toilet in the middle of the bathroom?
We hadn't know that there are variations in "throw", the distance from the drain pipe in the floor and the wall. Our toilet stuck out a few extra inches away from the wall and it looked incredibly odd.
We had to go to a special order store to get a tank with a false back so that it would line up against the wall like it was supposed to do.
So maybe replacement of the seat was your best option. You might have faced a toilet special order instead of just the seat.
Funniest thing I've read in a while. I laughed out loud ... heck, I guffawed with glee ... scaring a couple of cats and my husband.
Wow... Worse than me wanting to call up everyone I know and brag about the cd player/radio I bought to entertain myself at work. BTW, so get work done faster with it going. Which is kinda weird...
That was the best laugh I've had all week!! :)
That is totally wonderful. The toliet seat gods were looking down upon you waiting for the perfect moment to bless you!!! Congrats!!! enjoy!1
Well, you may need to get a life, but you certainly have me laughing so hard I had to make a mad dash to the bathroom.
I didn't read through all of the comments, but I wanted to say, go back to that store right now and buy another one. Put it in the attic or wherever. You won't need it next year or maybe even in five years, but at least you will only have to search through your house instead of North America to find one. Just my two cents.
I need Joe - here, in Nova Scotia.
My DH has not put a new toilet at the top of the priority list of things that are needed.
It is too late for me to read through all the preceding comments as I usually do. So if someone else already has spoken for Joe - aside from YH - we can perhaps work out a schedule.
BTW, it is not possible to see clearly, but aren't there a number of curly-ques at the base of the toilet pictured --- that need dusting frequently?
When my new toilet finally gets here, I will let you know.
I can share your joy. I felt the same way when I installed shelves in my yarn closet. I kept dragging people upstairs to look at the big boards I put on little boards screwed in parallel to the walls in the closet (also called SHELVES). I think my kids thought I went 'round the twist on that one!
I can empathize with the toilet situation, too. We have WALL-MOUNTED, Rose PINK, 43-year-old toilets. I once called around to see how much it would cost to replace them with wall-mounted, low-flow, white toilets (I hated the pink and wanted to be "green" at the same time). I was $6000 per TOILET!
Needless to day, 10 years later, we still have the same ugly toilets. The only advantage to them is, that it is really easy to lay new flooring in the bathrooms. You don't have to pull the floor mounted toilets to do it!
My life is like that, too. I think I'm old, now.
Any time one can honestly say "mission accomplished" is a good time. We've all been on quests before, and yours was as amazing as any.
I haven't read all the comments, but i must warn you: do not buy a new toilet unless you are out of any other options!! They do not work anywhere near as well as the old ones. I recently remodeled and was told that i must buy new toilets, or else buy old ones on the quite substantial toilet "black market."
This is where I will stop the telling of the very boring toilet story. My friends and I did decide that you have officially entered middle age when you actually want to talk to you friends about a black market for used toilets. FYI, I bought new toilets and they don't work.
Just remember: stick with your old toilet (and its seat) for as long as you can.
Hurray for the Harlot and Joe! I'm really glad that you have such a calm life, it means that you get to concentrate more on writing funny and insightful things about knitting! I do understand what you mean about basking in the glow of your toilet though. A few years ago our toilet had to be replaced. Part of the porcelain had broke and there was no fixing it. Just like your house, it was here when we bought the place except I just hated it. It was that nasty seventies avocado green color (Sorry to all you people who like that color. It's a perfectly good color, just not for me. I tend to like brighter colors. So avocado belongs on the fruit, not my toilet!) My husband and I had to go to the store and pick out a new toilet so I picked out one I loved. The new toilet doesn't really match how my bathroom is now, but how I would like it to be eventually. Even now, my lovely toilet is the only reason I can stand my bathroom! If I were you guys, I'd go back to that place and buy an extra toilet seat, just to have as a back up. Your new seat looked very snazzy with the sock!
What the hell is wrong with us Europeans! If you don`t like European stuff, it`s ok, but that doesn`t make us Europeans damned, like in this entry:
Damn those Europeans! We have been going through the same saga with our European door hinges. They're not broken, just brass colored and we're more stainless steel colored people. We've been looking for 2 years to no avail :(
Posted by: Chelsea at November 28, 2007 12:31 PM
A little bit insulting,
Claudia from Austria (not Australia)
Y'all are funny. And it's not sad. I think it's great when small things (or odd-shaped things) can make us smile at the world. It may not be cashmere, but you'll see it every day. That counts for something.
Now THAT is a find! Well done you two!
Lifeless in Ft. Laud.
I feel your pain and you should count your blessings. Years ago, the reason my tub was replaced was because we needed a new toilet seat. It was one of those idiotic things that, like you, the toilet came with the house. It was old and we couldn't find a toilet seat to fit. So, we bought a new toilet. Not realizing that the toilet BASE was smaller and what was standard in the 1940s was not standard in the 1990s. So, we had gaps around the toilet, so we were going to have to replace the floor and since, we were replacing the floor and because my husband hadn't ever done this, we asked a friend to help. The local building inspector, seeing our friend's truck, checked his records to see if we had a building permit (we didn't; we didn't know we needed one for a toilet seat). He stopped by, stopped the floor replacement and also informed us that our bathtub plumbing was not up to "code." And, hence, what started out as a toilet seat ended up with a new toilet, floor and tub. My Darlin' Hubby looked totally aghast when I started mumbling about the wallpaper . . .
Should I be worried that I thought it was totally normal to be that happy about a toilet seat?:) I actually sent the link to a couple of my similarly minded friends saying "Dude, check this out! That's a weird shaped toilet seat, isn't it?"
I completely understand how finding the right toilet seat could be a miracle, I have a 90 year old house, need I say more?!
I think we ALL need a life, since there are already 290 comments on this topic. I have to admit that I was stumped by one thing: you mean there is only one toilet in a house with 5 people living in it?!?!?!? Now THAT'S scary.
between toilet seats, remodeling your bedroom and the washing machine story, I'm beginning to think you should just write a "this old house" blog and forget about the knitting
Carolyn in NC
The humble items in life oft provide much comfort.
I hate to admit I think this way, but don't you think you should stash and extra should you ever need to replace it again???
My husband and I recently bought our first house. A fixer-upper, with some very questionable toilet options. He and I both come from a long line of very unhandy people. The type of families where the handyman is on speed dial and is called to hang a shelf or a picture. After 3 months in our new (old) house we knew the toilets needed to be changed, and my husband took it upon himself to change them. I was shocked. I knew it wouldn't work. I paced and asked several times to call a plumber. But, in less than 2 hours, there it was a brand new toilet. Installed and working perfectly. It is now the first thing on our tour when people come over.
My DD would be proud of you - bathroom shots! She and her friends would take bathroom pictures where ever they were! (At end of proms I have been dragged into bathrooms so multiple girls in large dresses can wedge themselves into a stall for me to snap the picture! Gone are those fond days!) Don't get me started on our toilet - a corner one! Those are hard to find!! Enjoy!
I too feel your pain, and join in your happiness. I too have experienced (and continue to experience) toilet seat troubles. I bought my place in 1992. It came with low quality fixtures. A flimsy plastic toilet seat. I went shopping for an oak seat. I like to buy products made in North America. I searched many, many stores before I found one that sold an oak seat that was not made in China. I was thrilled with it. Then in 1999 I needed a new tub (flimsy plastic again, which cracked!) so we thought a new toilet was a good idea too. I kept the oak seat and put it on the new toilet. It apparently did not fit as well on this one and the seat cracked. The store where I bought it no longer has them and now the only oak seats I can find are made in China. I'm still living with the cracked seat!!
I am glad your toilet story had a happy ending!!!
You have just removed all excuses for not posting unless there's some knitting to be shown.
We had a similar "and the heavens broke open and shone down upon us and it was good" moment when our dishwasher got fixed. But I am seriously thinking of posting an "Empty and fill this every day and I'll grant you sexual favours" sign on it. If I didn't have a kid, that sign would be up there in a heartbeat.
Yay! I hope your new seat brings you many hours of ..enjoyment.
And it is very pretty.
Steph, you make me feel better about being thrilled because I actually found the scent for the bath salts my boys are going to give their teachers for Christmas gifts. I called my husband at work to tell him I'd found the scent right where I thought they were. Imagine! Something was actually where I thought it was in my house! How can that be?
I don't know, in my family we once got that kind of excited over a new refrigerator. I think I was twelve. The new refridgerator was delivered, the old one--at least 20 years old, by anyone's reckoning, it had been passed down from my grandmother--went away, and my parents, brother and I just stood in the kitchen grinning at it. When my friends showed up, they didn't understand.
And you can buy new refridgerators ANYWHERE...
Go straight back to that store and buy a back-up seat. You think it was hard to find this year? Imagine how much trouble you'll have to find one twenty years from now!
Three hundred twenty some comments and counting about your toilet seat. We knitters aare a weird lot, aren't we?
either you are a really good writer, or i have had too many days trying to find obscure household parts, or both.. because i totally understand.
and yes, go right back to that store and buy a back up seat. trust me!
also, now would be a good time to find out if the toilet requires any other "odd" parts that are non standard, and buy those.
and sorry about the car.... i had one of those weeks. i am very glad he wasnt hurt!
Thanks for a morning smile. That was probably the funniest thing I'll see all day. :D
To be honest, when we replaced our toilet seat I too was overjoyed. We live in an apartment and it had this really cheapo plastic toilet seat that sort of slipped and sagged and groaned when you sat on it. I paid $10 for a new solid one and it mad me ridiculously happy. Happy enough to keep going in just to look at it and smile.
Given you had such an arduous search for yours, and I was so happy for having gone to Canadian tire and dished out $10, I think you have every right to proclaim to the world your love for your new throne!
I completely relate. Wonderful news! All hail & welcome the new toilet seat! There's a toilet seat museum in Texas. I haven't been but hope one day to go there. Here's the link: http://www.unusualmuseums.org/toilet/
I don't want to rain on your parade and dampen the excitement or anything, but my inner anal retentive self has to de-lurk and say, "please, please tell me you bought a second one to store as back up?". I know my inner anal retentive self is a bitch and needs to be slapped upside the head, but really, did you?
PS: 300 plus comments about a toilet seat! Wow! Now I have to go read all of them!
I live in an old house, too. I TOTALLY GET IT!
It's the little things in life that are the best!!
We had a leak and replaced our toilet a few months ago. I like it much better but felt wierd asking our new guests if they liked our new addition!
On another note, listened to the pod cast! I was so thrilled to hear your voice for the first time, having never seen you in person. It was a delightful interview.
Are you ever coming to Kansas City?
Thanks, Steph! I can skip my ab workout now because of all the laughing!
Some year ago I broke the lid on my toilet. I couldn't find a new lid, primarily because my toilet has no manufacturer's name on it--and I have contorted myself every which way around the thing trying to find it. There is none. Now I want to sell my house, and I need a toilet with, you know, a lid that's not held together with masking tape and glue. I caved. This week, I bought a whole new toilet.
I am so, so jealous of you. Congratulations.
O my gosh, so funny! My toilet seat had no lid for something like 2 months (it was tragically lost in a fall) & when it was finally replaced, I admired that lovely new toilet seat WITH lid for like, 2 months. Never underestimate the power of a complete toilet suite! :)
I think blogging about toilet seats is one of the first signs of geezerhood. That is if geezers are allowed to have blogs. Not that I would know anything about encroaching geezerhood, no, um, not me, nope.
You're not alone. In fact, my mom would keep a SPARE toilet seat in the house. I'm surprised you didn't buy an extra so that you could prevent the same heartache years down the road.
OMG-as a new home owner with maturity issues, I am still laughing my butt off over that post!!!! Good Godess, woman you are funny!!!! Seriously, you should write for a living, youre like the new erma bombeck of our time, but you know-interesting and not something that shows how old I am! Please dont ever stop this blog-I may die of boredom!!!
Oh, yeah, the seat looks great!!!
And what does it say about The Blog that you have so many responses to your entry re: a toilet seat? BTW which stitch did you use to decrease the side of the seat??
Right now, grab Joe and (after a second look at the new throne) GO BUY A SECOND SEAT! Put it in the attic or something. With a big black marker, write "EMERGENCY BACKUP TOILET SEAT" on the box (well, given it is you, perhaps you will knit it a sleeve and you can put the words via cables in the stitches). The toilet will eventually need yet another lid, and you can casually pull it out of the attic and never set down the beer. If you wear the that one out, perhaps you will need a new toilet by then!
Tell me that you bought 2, for the next time that this happens....
[p.s. bought a new toilet seat last night myself. I was disproportionately satisfied with it.]
I'm listening to the podcast. I have just-beginning-to-red and writes-really-well daughter. She wants to knit. In the past, attempts for her to knit haven't turned out well. I think most of the problem is addi turbo needles - too slippery. Could you please give suggestions for best kid-learning supplies/techniques? Like, what size needles? Some I've seen start kids out on huge needles. Others on regular sized ones. We've done some finger knitting, but it's hard to put that down and come back to it, which is important for shorter attention spans (like mine).
I'm not knitting much at this time in my life, but I still love to read everything you write. :)
And you didn't buy two? I am a buy ahead type of girl and store it in the attic for the day when it is no longer available. Send Joe back out there in case this one ever gets a crack in it. A cracking toilet seat just might be why it is discontinued, you know.
...Uh yeah, I do realize that my excessive interest in the safety of your rear end in the future (a heiney pinched in a cracked toilet seat is not a good thing) makes me as boring as you...
What a great post! I need a new toilet seat myself, but have been too lazy to take my cash to the big box home store. As always, you provide the inspiration. Also? I thought it was a great follow-up to the sad story of Joe getting "rear-ended". Glad to hear you'll all be sitting pretty now.
Hehehhhehhhehhhe. You and Joe are tooooo funny. I'm with Sarah -- I would have bought TWO!!!
Funniest thing ever! My teen-age daughter especially like the part about you making your kids and their friends look at it. You have created a wonderful memory your kids will be reminding you of for years.
Don't feel bad. It's owning a house that does this crazy thing to all of us from time to time. I felt like throwing a party when our septic system was finally replaced two years ago.
Thank you so much for making us all laugh.
Couldn't believe this post - I have been feeling triumphant all day having successfully fitted a new seat to our loo this morning. It doesn't move when you sit on it and has no inaccessible bits that cannot be cleaned.
Life is so much better I cast on a new project to celebrate! Rosemary.
The podcast was GREAT!!!!! So nice to hear you talking again since we saw you in Cleveland this past year! I love it that you are so IN LOVE with your toilet seat!!! I hope finding that toilet seat helped Joe to feel that ALL was not wrong in the world!
P.S. I think my daughter, Meagan, is married to Joe's little brother because he would have responded in exactly the SAME way!!!
Um, quick. Buy another one or the next time the seat cracks you'll have to find it all over again!!! No, buy TWO!
Okay two things:
1. I can't believe how many people had a comment on this piece (which by the way, I loved)
2. What is the name of the place where you got the toilet seat? I have the same dang problem. (who'da thunk?)
On the bright side, if little things like that can make you that happy, you ought to have a nice and happy life. I mean, if the only thing that would make you happy was, say, Leonardo da Vinci's toenail -- from his fourth toe on his left foot, please -- and nothing but possessing that very toenail was going to make you happy, THEN you'd have issues.
Ah, the new toilet seat! Gave me a good giggle. We got a new one last week. The old one wasn't cracked but decided to start sliding around when you sat on it. I noticed it first but forgot to mention it...hubby sat down rather forcefully one day and almost slid off...teehee. He was not pleased and immediately left to go buy a new one. Thankfully we didn't have the drama you did!
Ooh what is the pretty yarn on your fancy new potty seat?
My host brother in Germany got a toilet seat for Christmas a few years ago. He was as excited as y'all are. You aren't the only ones!
And hey, used toilet seat? If the toilet was already there, it was used too. Makes it seem a little better, no?
THIS blog entry alone is reason enough to declare that I love you, Stephanie!!
(p.s. My Uncle Tim used to threaten to use an old toilet seat as a picture frame.)
Why didn't you just call up Debbie New? She could probably have knitted you one.
Great post, and I totally understand!!
Trust me, it's not just you and your beloved, Joe.
We recently went out and purchased a new toilet seat as well. We were so totally overjoyed at not having our arses pinched by the crack in the seat any longer.
Sometimes it's the little things in life. :)
Isnt it interesting how we use wool in our everyday lives?? I just recently bought two area rugs that were 100% wool. I also have a shirt I got from a department store.... also wool.
You're awesome! I've always had a secret fetish for toilet seat covers. So reading this post made me giggle like crazy!
This post was hysterical!!!! And you are not alone. My husband and I would get excited over a toilet seat.
Even as I leave this comment, I'm listening to the Lion Brand podcast. You rock!
Our furnace has gone out so the house is being heated by fireplaces and a couple of space heaters. I had no idea how icy toilet seats could get! I might have to knit a toilet seat cover,
I don't want to be nasty but I guess my parents have such a thing in one of their bathrooms and in general, I seem to have seen this like a million times.
Maybe it's because I'm European.
Actually, I'm really glad to know that other married couples get stupidly excited about this sort of thing. The idea of the two of you standing in awe of it, arms around eachother? Felt frighteningly familiar.
No No Noooooo! You are not silly to get excited about a toilet seat. If you've ever been pinched by a broken one it's not a silly thing. I speak from experience (shuddering at the recollection). New toilet seat, safe tushie....it's a good thing! Since yours is a hard to find, hope you got a couple of back-up seats.
I'd say that *not* having to buy a whole new crapper just for the *seat* is definitely something to feel happy & celebratory about! See, you're not the only one with 'get a life' issues :o)
I am still super excited about the new toilet seat I got last week. I ordered a "Family Potty Seat" from the One Step Ahead company and it is so awesome because it's a regular toilet seat, but it has a toddler sized potty seat that drops down out of the lid. I spent way too much on it and then waited everyday until it got here and then installed it mere moments after the post man dropped it off. My girls love using the big potty and now their bums don't get wet because they never fall in! A cush new toilet seat is a wonderful thing!
Don't worry. You managed to make a very mundane topic funny and interesting.
I don't often laugh out loud when reading knitting blogs---or anything else for that matter...but I laughed till tears rolled down my face when I was reading this....I could relate to every bit of it. Thank you!!!
It seems like we inherit a lot of strange things when we get an old house. I have a double flush toilet. First time users are sure that it isn't working right!(it flushes twice on 1 tank of water) And yes, I just got it a new toilet seat which I love!
Great end to a crazy evening - 11 y/o family birthday party w/the relatives (in-laws too). I NEEDED that laugh! Enjoy the toilet seat for many, many, many years!!
he he, actually thats really pretty funny.