March 12, 2008


We are changing our home internet service to get everything (phone, cable, internet, cell) onto one service so we can save some money. There's going to be some downtime today while we switch from one service to another. Here are some things that have been said about this switch.

It is going to be seamless.
It is going to be easy.
It is going to be fast.

Excuse me. I can't type when I'm laughing this hard.

Posted by Stephanie at March 12, 2008 12:07 PM

You know, my husband said the same thing when he started putting together a laptop for me to switch to... 4 weeks ago...

Posted by: Karen at March 12, 2008 12:10 PM

Oh too funny! Good Luck!

Posted by: Beverly at March 12, 2008 12:10 PM


Thanks, I needed that!

Posted by: knittinginmind at March 12, 2008 12:10 PM

Ha! Good luck. I'll miss you!

Posted by: Erica at March 12, 2008 12:11 PM


Lord, I just hope it's not with Comcast! (They love your money but don't really believe in always delivering what you pay for.)

Posted by: Tracy at March 12, 2008 12:13 PM

Classic. At least it's your husband and not your roomate's doofus boyfriend.

Posted by: Brin at March 12, 2008 12:13 PM

Yeah yeah, sure sure.

Good luck!

Posted by: ccr in MA at March 12, 2008 12:15 PM

Well, if that is VOIP I will be very interested in how it handles the blog. Our office has it (yick) and various homes have it and mysterious 'traffic' issues endlessly abound. If we don't hear from you in 24 hours days we will send wool.

Posted by: cecelia at March 12, 2008 12:15 PM

Hahahahaha hahaha hahahaha hahahahaha.

(I'm laughing with you - not at you. While I frog 12 rows of my first lace baby blanket because I apparently can't count past 5. Pray for me!)

Posted by: Chris S. at March 12, 2008 12:16 PM

Four words, Stephanie: Good Luck With That.

Can't wait to receive your new book from Amazon, where it's been preordered for two months. Also can't wait to see you when you come to Philadelphia in May ...

Posted by: Anne at March 12, 2008 12:16 PM

So, we'll see you in a couple of weeks then?

Posted by: GeekKnitter at March 12, 2008 12:16 PM

It makes me wonder - do they believe that? If so, do you suppose they start on every project with the same feeling of courage, hope, and wonder we all have when setting out with our Christmas Knitting Lists?

Maybe they go to work every day thinking, "This is the one! TODAY is the day we're going to get this right. Yahoo!"

And all around them, level-headed people are shaking their heads, thinking, "There's just no way. Poor, deluded thing."

Posted by: Anniessa at March 12, 2008 12:19 PM

And have they offered to sell you some land in Florida as well?
Yeah, we'll hear from you in a few days...

Posted by: Sandra at March 12, 2008 12:19 PM

Hee! It never is; it never will be.

Posted by: Chelsea at March 12, 2008 12:20 PM

"Seamless, fast, and easy?"

How much you want to bet that the customer service writer that came up with these pat answers is a secret sock knitter?

Posted by: k. at March 12, 2008 12:20 PM

I'm right there with you. My new computer shipped today, and I'm terrified at the prospect of the changeover. I'm also terrified that my current geriatric system will crash before the changeover, thus causing my major editorial project to go "poof."

I admire your ability to laugh. I'm feeling mostly nauseous.

Posted by: Presbytera at March 12, 2008 12:25 PM

Pour a glass, sit down and just laugh. Do not roll thine eyes...

Posted by: lenora at March 12, 2008 12:26 PM

Right. They don't take into account things such as, y'know, REALITY.

Posted by: Kristi at March 12, 2008 12:27 PM

Abandon all hope. My husband just installed the new required digital device for older t.v.s and wonders why I'm not even turning it on....three remotes...I'm an on/off gal...just want it to Furious knitting helps.

Posted by: Jennifer N. at March 12, 2008 12:27 PM

LOL! I'll believe it when I see it. Post as soon as it's up (or earlier if you can beg, borrow or steal internet to update us as to why you haven't posted in three days)!

Posted by: Karin at March 12, 2008 12:28 PM

"It is going to be seamless.
It is going to be easy.
It is going to be fast. "

No chance!! It has just taken us 4 months to switch!!

Good luck!!

Posted by: Janey at March 12, 2008 12:29 PM

Well, when we don't hear from you for a week or two, we'll all know why.
I can just hear you now - "I had better service when I was out in the woods with the deer! Heck, the DEER had better service!"

Posted by: Jane in PA at March 12, 2008 12:29 PM

My fingers are crossed for you, but it is hard to type that way!

Posted by: Vicki at March 12, 2008 12:29 PM

Yep. They say that to all the girls! Three weeks and three separate "correction" visits later... I'm still recovering from our "seamless" transition to one service, too.

I do hope yours goes better.

Posted by: Madmad at March 12, 2008 12:31 PM

Thanks for the heads up. That will save me time from checking your blog for updates for the next couple of weeks. See ya when you get back online!


Posted by: Kat at March 12, 2008 12:33 PM

Whatever you do, don't let the people sell you anything. They will convince you to try some crap experiment, then it will blow out the electricity in your house or something. Just a heads up.

Posted by: Rosie at March 12, 2008 12:35 PM

Just moved and went thru a "seamless" connection. Yea right, 7 days and countless hours on the phone to customer service in India. It finally took an actual person to come to the house to rewire. Hope your transition is smoother. Just remember if all else fails, BUY MORE YARN! (It helped me:~)

Posted by: TooTwistedDonna at March 12, 2008 12:36 PM

I'd cross my fingers but I need them for knitting and typing and the like - consider my toes crossed in the hope that for once the techy people do not speak with forked tongue

Posted by: Carie at March 12, 2008 12:40 PM

haaaaaaaa Here's to hoping Joe is right and we're all wrong ;)

Posted by: Alicia at March 12, 2008 12:41 PM

Good luck! Sometimes it can work well, but there are always hiccups where someone forgot something.

Posted by: Janis at March 12, 2008 12:41 PM

We recently switched everything over and it was "" which is a really strange thing to happen in HollyWorld. Every once in a while I get lucky. Hopefully y'all will too.

Posted by: holly at March 12, 2008 12:43 PM

Good luck! Je compatis avec vos mésaventures futures!

Posted by: LĂ©onie at March 12, 2008 12:43 PM

I can happen - I switched about a year ago. There was much prep work but the cut over was a few minutes.

Posted by: Allyson at March 12, 2008 12:48 PM

Yeah, good luck with that. There are a lot of coffee shops that have free wireless internet access. Just in case, you know?

Posted by: PetoskyTurtle at March 12, 2008 12:49 PM

If it sounds too good to be true, it usually is...

Posted by: linda at March 12, 2008 12:49 PM

just remember to breathe

Posted by: catherine at March 12, 2008 12:49 PM

We will know not to worry that the squirrel has stolen your laptop. Wait, are squirrels active in the winter or do they just hunker down in their nests in kind of a squirrel version of hibernating?

Posted by: Jena at March 12, 2008 12:51 PM

That did make me chuckle. Actually, I recommend that you resist this change (albeit for good, cost saving intentions) and knit yourself to your existing internet/telephone access points to prevent anyone from getting close to, or interferring with, them.

After all, didn't you mention that you have a book deadline? Don't you need electronic access to the outside world between now and then...?!

Posted by: Gabrielle at March 12, 2008 12:51 PM

let's hope.....
if not, it will likely make great blog fodder!!

Posted by: Jo-Anne at March 12, 2008 12:51 PM

Two words: Fat Chance

Been nice reading your blog! Thank goodness you buy most of your knitting supplies locally and don't *require* the web!

Posted by: Diane at March 12, 2008 12:59 PM

Verizon told me the same thing when we switched to their DSL service. All I'm going to say is good luck. :-)

Posted by: Kerry at March 12, 2008 1:01 PM

I am a tech person, so I can say with some assurance if that a tech person ever says - "it's going to be seamless, fast, and easy" they are lying. Or they are thinking of those terms relative to the 2-year data migration project that they had to do three years ago and still have PTSD about. :-)

Well, hopefully you will actually save some money from the switch.

Posted by: Mama Cat at March 12, 2008 1:03 PM

When we switched it actually did go well and they finished quicker than I had thought they would. Hopefully you will have the same good fortune!
On another note I have now made 2 of your "unoriginal hats" - in 2 evenings. You are RIGHT! they are like popcorn! I even modified the pattern to size it down for a 2 year old! THANKS!!!

Posted by: karen at March 12, 2008 1:05 PM

HA HA HA HEEEEEEE HA HA....... wiping the tears of laughter from face.....

Thanks, I needed that.

(From one who has 'been there done that')

Posted by: The BeadKnitter at March 12, 2008 1:06 PM

We changed our cable, ISP, phone and cell about 6 months ago. It was easy, it was seamless and it was fast.

No one was more surprised than I...

Posted by: Mary Peed at March 12, 2008 1:08 PM

Sure, its going to be seamless, fast and easy..

and the check is in the mail, my commute to work is under a half hour, and kids never disappoint me..

there are other standard lies.. Like
you look like you lost weight/I'm the same weight I was in college..

not to mention all the sheep lie jokes--you know the type--(i was just helping that sheep over the fence..)

Posted by: Helen (of troy) at March 12, 2008 1:09 PM

Um...yeah. Good luck with that.

Posted by: Meredith at March 12, 2008 1:09 PM

I hope they understand how big your closet needs to be and how many blue shirts you have there (I think that's how you explained previous computer problems to us?). Good luck!

Posted by: ToniC at March 12, 2008 1:11 PM

Well - I did the same thing - consolidated - and I'm actually quite happy. Only glitch I had was they didn't send me a new DSL box for the internet! It never occurred to me I'd need a new one. After that got fixed everything has been great and I get one giant bill for cell phones(2 adults, 2kids)regular phones and internet. Good luck - it'll be o.k.

Posted by: tejasmom at March 12, 2008 1:13 PM

Oh goodness.

Posted by: AlisonH at March 12, 2008 1:13 PM

Hey, really, it probably will be great! We switched all of ours to one provider and have had NO problems!

Posted by: elizabeth at March 12, 2008 1:17 PM

My eyes skipped down to the "seamless, fast, easy" part of the post before I read the first sentence and I thought ..."Oooh, sounds cool. I wonder what pattern Stephanie's knitting now."

Posted by: Stephanie E at March 12, 2008 1:18 PM

If it's any comfort to you, I went through that to switch to Cablevision (digital cable, high speed Internet and VoIP phone service). The entire ordeal took about an hour. I ended up adding two one demand channels, getting two digital video recorders, and adding voice mail, while spending $50 a month less. No regrets at all.

Posted by: Ivy at March 12, 2008 1:18 PM

Customer service people are so funny. Seamless...Easy...Fast

Posted by: tabitha at March 12, 2008 1:18 PM

I'm a computer programmer and *I* am LMAO.

Good luck.

Posted by: trek at March 12, 2008 1:19 PM

see ya in 2 weeks

Posted by: April at March 12, 2008 1:20 PM

Sooo....basically this is going to be like knitting one of those cowly/scarfy type things? Maybe you could have a race! You knit, while they switch; see which of you gets done first! Although in fairness, I think you should handicap yourself, and knit your cowly/scarfy type thing in some nice fingering, so as to not look like a show-off when you beat them by a handy hour or three. ;-)

good luck! and keep on purlin'

Posted by: pamela at March 12, 2008 1:21 PM

Oh, Harlot . . . we may never hear from you again!! Puh-leeze check out the local carrier pigeon services, or maybe learn how to translate knitting instructions into smoke signals?

Posted by: Nita at March 12, 2008 1:21 PM

All I can say is, Book. Due. Soon. You let them what?!?!? Oh well, just knit faster and this too shall pass.

Posted by: Robby at March 12, 2008 1:22 PM

Oh, that is a good one! Good luck!

Posted by: Beth K at March 12, 2008 1:23 PM

...and the Cadbury Bunny nests in my backyard in Santa's's about the same amount of reality.

Posted by: Nancy at March 12, 2008 1:26 PM

Bwahahahaha! Seamless, easy, *and* fast?!

Whoever's spouting that optimistic nonsense is doing the equivalent of tempting the knitting fates by attempting a really complicated sweater with unmarked yarn bought from an eBay auction but without doing a gauge swatch *and* thinking, "I don't need a stinkin' gauge swatch. How hard can this be?"

Whoo, that's funny - seamless, easy, and fast. Good luck to you, Madame Harlot. If we don't hear from you for a few days, we'll all storm Ken's blog and ask him to look in on you. :)

Posted by: Vis Major at March 12, 2008 1:28 PM

I am sure your techie husband will do this but make sure that you have a backup for the power. Otherwise when the power goes out, so will your phone. If you have a cell phone this is not asw serious butI for one, want a dial tone whether or not there is power.

Posted by: sherry at March 12, 2008 1:29 PM

We're doing the same thing at our office. Yesterday, at 4:30pm the existing phone system went down (the new one was being installed), Causing my technophobe BIL to go into a full-blown panic attack. And my hubby (the BOSS) is out of town for three days.......oh fun!!

Posted by: Alyson at March 12, 2008 1:31 PM

Our thoughts are with you in this difficult time.

Posted by: KarenJoSeattle at March 12, 2008 1:40 PM

hiiiihihihihi... ok... I actually work for a canadian phone|internet|tv provider, so maybe it's not very professionnal of me to laugh at this commitment that was made to you... I'm sure that it was made with the best intentions, but... good luck!

Posted by: Marie-Michele at March 12, 2008 1:44 PM

Did they also say that you won't even NOTICE that it's down? And that you won't have to make ANY changes?

Just stock up on some wine, scotch, or whatever and settle in to a luddite lifestyle for a few days.

Posted by: Stephanie at March 12, 2008 1:46 PM

How much eye-rolling occured as they said that? Do they KNOW who you are? Well, actually, this shouldn't be too bad, as this should not effect your hosting service, separate issue, so it should go well. Good luck!

Posted by: PICAdrienne at March 12, 2008 1:47 PM

::snort:: Yeah, I had Tivo added to my existing service last week - it took 5 hours. 5 HOURS. They didn't even have to swap out the box, all they had to do was download some software and give me a new remote. It was a beautiful thing - at one point the cable guy called for his cable guy friend to come over and 'help'. They were very nice, but honestly I didn't need them in my house for 5 HOURS.

Posted by: Kathleen at March 12, 2008 1:48 PM

I've worked in IT for 20+ years and nothing strikes as much fear in your heart as someone using the word "transparent" when talking about a transition. Call in sick that day.

Posted by: Doreen at March 12, 2008 1:48 PM

when/if your internet service gets back on-line, can you please tell us what meg knit this weekend? i'd love to know. or has her disease has progressed to the stage of having a blog of her own?

Posted by: Tracey at March 12, 2008 1:51 PM

Riiight. And they really do mean it when they say they love you and will respect you in the morning.

Well, at least your fingers should go like the wind while you're catching up on Erin's sweater!

Posted by: MonicaPDX at March 12, 2008 1:51 PM

Wow, those rank right up there with...

I promise when I'm elected...

I'll be right there, I'm just checking the score.

And my all time favorite...

No, honey, those pants do NOT make you look fat.

Did you get those in writing? And did you have someone sign it so you know who to make the voodoo doll look like? Hey, and if you have time in all this, could you do me a favor and go to the Socktopia Forum and vote for my socks? The prize is a hank of specially dyed sock yarn and it just happens to be my sister's favorite colors from childhood: orange and purple. Long story. It's on my blog if you really want to know. But, seriously, if you could go vote for my socks, they're the ones listed under Yarndork, I would be very much appreciative.

Thanks, and may the force of the internet and phone service and all that be with you. If not, there's yarn and chocolate and beer. In that order or not.

Posted by: Kathy in KS at March 12, 2008 1:57 PM

Good luck! We did the same thing a little while ago. There were a few hiccups but it wasn't too bad.

Posted by: Knittripps at March 12, 2008 2:04 PM

You know, it very well could be all of those things.

But of course, it never is. Best of luck in your technological endeavors!

Posted by: Alisha at March 12, 2008 2:05 PM

Hee hee. Wait till your Internet goes down and you can't call anyone about it because your phone uses the same connection.

Or, maybe that's just me. :)

I hope your change is as painless as possible.

Posted by: Stacy at March 12, 2008 2:06 PM

Stephanie - you are a braver woman than I. Just get ready to lose you phone during a power outage if you are going digital .... keep that cell phone charged!

Posted by: ginger at March 12, 2008 2:07 PM

Good luck. We put our phone, TV and internet on one company last August and we had "issues". Everytime the company came out to fix the "issues" the company gave me a free month of premium channels - HBO, Cimemax etc. Well they never shut off thier free month of channels and it ends up costing us big bucks!

Posted by: Kathy at March 12, 2008 2:08 PM

hopefully when all is said and done it will save you some money -- money to be spent on yarn of course!

Posted by: Patti at March 12, 2008 2:10 PM

Yeah, good luck with that, hopefully that industry is better regulated in Canada. We did it and it definitely did not save us any money and was a huge hassle.

Posted by: Courtney at March 12, 2008 2:12 PM

btw, lowered expectations always help in situations such as these.

Posted by: Patti at March 12, 2008 2:15 PM

And how many blue shirts will fit in this closet?Good luck.

Posted by: miss sandra at March 12, 2008 2:15 PM

I made that change and now when the tv is on and the phone rings I get booted. Not seamless. More like P3togTBL.

Posted by: TheAmpuT at March 12, 2008 2:16 PM

OK, but with there be a big enough closet?

Posted by: Linda B. at March 12, 2008 2:18 PM


"will there be "

Posted by: Linda B. at March 12, 2008 2:19 PM

Yeah, I heard that before. Ended up on DIAL-UP for two weeks. Seamless, easy, and oh so fast! Sheesh. See you in a couple weeks.

Posted by: Jaquie at March 12, 2008 2:20 PM

Oh. My. Sounds like a computer installation we had a few years back. They wrote folk songs about our installation problems! We were totally manual for the entire month of January. Not a good thing for a FINANCIAL INSTITUTION!

One question -- Do you have a snail mail newsletter, cause Honey, that's the only way we'll all hear from you for a while! I think I'll be OK for the duration. For my birthday this week I received your 2 books that I didn't already have, your newest on pre-order for me, a sock book, & two skeins of sock yarn. However, most of your Harlotites will miss you dreadfully.

Posted by: Beverly from Texas at March 12, 2008 2:20 PM

Oh, dear. See you back in a few days, then.... I hope...

Posted by: Kat with a K at March 12, 2008 2:21 PM

Used to do software support for a health insurance company (talk about an evil empire!) - remember our definition of an upgrade:
take out old problems, install new ones.

Seriously, my transition at home to cable modem, TV, & phone was easier than talking to the clueless people at Ma Bell. Just watch the no electricity, no phone thing. Be sure your cell phone is charged & know where the flashlight is.

Posted by: Judy M at March 12, 2008 2:22 PM

"It is going to be seamless.
It is going to be easy.
It is going to be fast."

Sounds just like pantyhose...until you snag them opening the package.

Good luck!

Posted by: Jennifer in Ottawa at March 12, 2008 2:28 PM

"giggle" yeahhhh I remember the last tech update you had "snort"

Posted by: KellyD at March 12, 2008 2:29 PM

I'll be crossing my fingers for you in the hope that it is as seamless and east as they claim. I for one NEVER believe that when i'm dealing with customer service types!

Posted by: Danielle from SW Missouri at March 12, 2008 2:29 PM

Maybe you will be the winner of the "Of course it works, it's technology" lottery for today - I will say a prayer.

Just so you know, if they are installing fiber optic service the modem may well be in the basement (or where ever the cable first comes in the house). That's where mine was and it made fixing some other technology (a new wireless device that was being uncooperative) sort of tough when the guy on the phone said "Now unplug the modem" and I said "what modem?".

Just keep knitting and it will all be fine.

Posted by: Karen at March 12, 2008 2:30 PM

As they say in the library/information resources business, you can have it fast, cheap or accurate. You cannot have all three at once. So I wouldn't hold my breath on this one.

Posted by: Peg in Kensington, California at March 12, 2008 2:36 PM

Yep, sure, sure, you betcha.

Posted by: Sherry at March 12, 2008 2:36 PM

t is going to be seamless.
It is going to be easy.
It is going to be fast.

And the real's going to save you money!

Posted by: Evelyn at March 12, 2008 2:36 PM

Best of luck with that. We have TV/Internet/Phone with one company... a company I can't stand. It works relatively well as it should for the high prices we're paying. *sigh*

Posted by: Janice at March 12, 2008 2:42 PM

Why, Miz Harlot, ah'm surprised at you!

These are 100% honest and fer true statements - relative to childbearing, that is!

Posted by: Simonette at March 12, 2008 2:46 PM

Our seamless switch lasted over a month. We spent a lot of time at the public library using their computers! Hope your's goes better than that. Oh well there's always yarn.

Posted by: Kathy at March 12, 2008 2:48 PM

ahhhhh, been there, done that, tooooo funny, is right! Good luck!

Posted by: Wendy at March 12, 2008 2:51 PM

The spouse decided that he wanted to get off of DSL and switch to cable internet service. Then we got the phone bill. To this day I don't know why they made the mistakes they did, but we ended up being charged for someone else's DSL installation/service and someone else's long distance calls for a phone # we didn't have. It took my husband about 6 months to clear all the charges out. What really got us angry was how they tried to charge us late fees for not paying the charges that weren't related to our service.

Now we don't make any changes to our phone service no matter how much better it might be for us.

So seamless transition? I'm laughing with you.

Posted by: DebbieT at March 12, 2008 2:56 PM

"It is going to be seamless.
It is going to be easy.
It is going to be fast. "

??? Sounds like this top down shrug I am knitting!! LOL

Posted by: G at March 12, 2008 2:59 PM

If it were me, I'd pack up my laptop and head for the nearest yarn shop, buy some yarn, then go to the nearest coffee shop with wireless internet service and spend the rest of the day there.

Then again, I've already been to one of my two LYS that I frequent ... for some more yarn to take the edge off ... we all know how that goes.

Posted by: Anne at March 12, 2008 3:13 PM

Did they also mention you could keep your old phone number? Yeah, not so much when it came right down to it. I tried to look on the bright side....our phone number changed the day after the PTA phone list was published. A few less PTA phone calls are always a good thing!

Posted by: Allyson at March 12, 2008 3:19 PM

Seamless, easy, and fast? Like a top down raglan in the EZ style?

Posted by: Joyce at March 12, 2008 3:19 PM


It can be 2 of the 3; all three of those conditions cannot apply at the same time.

(In publishing they say the conditions are "fast, accurate, cheap": fast and accurate won't be cheap, accurate and cheap can't be fast, fast and cheap won't be accurate".)

Posted by: PurpleGirl at March 12, 2008 3:20 PM

Now that you've laughed, it WILL go seamlessly, easy and fast, providing others with an excuse to promise you that in the future (and expect you to believe it). You realize that, right? They'll bring up this time, when it did all go like that, and point out how wrong you were. Lady, you can't win.

Posted by: Abby Franquemont at March 12, 2008 3:22 PM

This reminds me a bit of the stove incident.

Posted by: Nicole at March 12, 2008 3:22 PM

easy fast seamless? Sound like a topdown raglan....EZ is your new ISP?

Posted by: tracey in michigan at March 12, 2008 3:24 PM

You know... you might have wanted to wait until the springtime when people are more willing to do things in general. XD I hope the money that you are saving can pay for the stress induced illnesses that will happen because of this.

Posted by: Convivialiddell at March 12, 2008 3:25 PM

Good Luck!!!

Posted by: Liz at March 12, 2008 3:27 PM

Last time I contacted my ISP by phone, I spent 10 minutes on hold listening to RAP MUSIC. I thought that was unnecessarily cruel.

Posted by: Potteryfreak at March 12, 2008 3:29 PM

Stephanie, we'll miss you. Please come back soon!

Posted by: Mary in MI at March 12, 2008 3:34 PM

I could have sworn someone told me the same thing about labor. No,'s just both experiences were painful, frustrating, inevitable, and angst-inducing, but the computer thing didn't have the fun part at the end.

Posted by: shanny mac at March 12, 2008 3:36 PM

Tee hee. I'm sure there won't ever be any service outages either. MwaHa!

Posted by: Melody at March 12, 2008 3:36 PM

I'm going to wish you the same good luck I had a few weeks ago when the charger to my laptop decided to die. My husband came home and with the use of a few of his electronic toys diagnosed and then don't die laughing fixed my problem with some stuff he's been holding on to for years in case it came in handy. I had been sure I would have to be without my computer for at least a week while we either ordered new parts or a new computer. Hopefully my being without my computer for about half an hour will be a good omen for your new things. I suppose since you are getting four item we should count on it's taking a couple of hours.

On a completely different note, does anyone have experience explaining to a husband that you think you've lost a double pointed needle in the bed but you can't find it despite looking everywhere you think it could be? I worry that he might find it in the night and that I should give him a heads up. Plus I used it to pick up gussets on the 1st sock I'm working on for him. This could lead to a really bad case of sss.

Posted by: Melissa at March 12, 2008 3:40 PM

Funny...I didn't think techies had such a good sense of humor...

Posted by: suburbancorrespondent at March 12, 2008 3:41 PM

Seamless? Easy? Fast?

Oh, Stephanie, I'm so sorry for your loss (LOL). See you sometime next year. *snort*

Posted by: Jeanne B. at March 12, 2008 3:42 PM

Another line you could add: "We'll have one-stop tech support". Ha! There's an oxymoron.

Posted by: Barbara A.M. at March 12, 2008 3:46 PM

We've been lucky to never have trouble switching (knock on virtual wood). I think I have my husband to thank for that...because not very techie relatives...not so lucky.

BTW...seamless, fast, easy...there's a knitting joke in their somewhere...

Posted by: Tara at March 12, 2008 3:48 PM

Oh yeah. I've heard that before.

Wait. I've said that before. Never mind...

Posted by: linda at March 12, 2008 3:53 PM

The only thing that's seamless, easy, and fast is a garter stitch dishcloth. Maybe.

Good luck!

Posted by: Bonnie at March 12, 2008 3:55 PM

Wine, cheese, more wine, chocolate.......more chocolate.......screw it-just pass the wine.

Posted by: Queen Knitsalot at March 12, 2008 4:06 PM

Ours was. We switched from a combo of Verizon and Brighthouse to Brighthouse cable only. It WAS seamless and there was only about 30 minutes down time. Three cheers for Brighthouse!

Posted by: Iris in Virginia at March 12, 2008 4:07 PM

lets all hope this works

right about floida lighting
took this computer down
but then thats florida
we cant get this election right again

hope your tech is not an april fool

Posted by: elizabeth a airhart at March 12, 2008 4:10 PM

You know. There was this time when the internet people told me much the same thing. And I called them with a lot of complaining and shouting and yelling...and I ended up with a date. Maybe you won't get a date, but something else nice might happen.

Posted by: haley-cat at March 12, 2008 4:12 PM

Wait...they still make land phone lines? I thought they went the way of the dinosaurs. Best of luck dealing with the technology gremlins.

Posted by: Hannah at March 12, 2008 4:14 PM

I got a copy of a book from the library yesterday called "Gotcha Capitalism" plus a lot of subtitle.

Get it and read it. Go to to order from Amazon.

This a must-have book for any consumer, if you don't want to be ripped off.

Keep track of the time that the service is off and make sure you complain about it each time. Write down the time that all this is not in service. Demand a refund for that time.

I have ComCast, and for the first year I had it, I kept track of the number of hours it wasn't working, and it averaged out to 24 hours per month!

We'll expect you back online next week when the seamless, quick and easy part is over.

Posted by: Johann Mitchell at March 12, 2008 4:18 PM

Actually, "It's going to be cheaper" is funny, too.

Posted by: MaryB in Richmond at March 12, 2008 4:29 PM

That reminds me of the DIY project joke in our house:

"How long could it take?"

And the software joke (DH owns a software company, and is one of the lead developers):

"It should be done soon."

Best of luck!!!

Posted by: Annalea at March 12, 2008 4:36 PM

Didja get that in writing?

Posted by: sue at March 12, 2008 4:42 PM

This is the Yarnharlot's blog, and if it can go wrong -- enough said. If I don't see a new entry in two or three days, shall I send out my husky with a backpack of wool and screech? I have some lovely sock yarn . . .

Posted by: Shel at March 12, 2008 4:45 PM

Oh yeah, and the Moon's made of green cheese....uh-huh.

Makes ya wonder what those Dudes are smoking(or drinking, etc). Or what they think you might've been smoking(or drinking, etc) when they spout that "easy" line.

Computers are here to make our lives easier, don't ya know! Bwahhhhh-ha-haaaaa....

Posted by: Yams at March 12, 2008 5:04 PM

L-l-l-aughingg t-too h-hard to write a c-c-comment! LOLOLOL!

Posted by: Julie at March 12, 2008 5:24 PM

Seamless. Fast. Easy.

Sounds like a swatch or circular knitting to me, not bundling services. Good luck. Apply screetch.

Posted by: Cynthia in Seattle at March 12, 2008 5:27 PM

Been there, Done that...I'm laughing with you!!

Posted by: Michelle at March 12, 2008 5:28 PM

Just think of how caught up on all of your deadlines you will be with no phones/internet/TV to distract you!

Posted by: heathers at March 12, 2008 5:28 PM

I can beat any Comcast story. They got my husband to switch to the digital voice (read VOIP here) telling him it would save him money.

My husband works from home. (insert evil laugh here)

We had a 4 month struggle after the service was installed....and during one week the phone modem cycled off and on 8722 times (in one week)...roughly every 69 seconds.

I finally convinced the 15th tech to replace the modem "These NEVER go bad". He replaced and guess what.....very few problems afterwards.

I hate Comcast....trouble is, there isn't anyone better.

Posted by: Lynae at March 12, 2008 5:34 PM

Of *course* I'll still respect you in the morning.

Posted by: Lucia at March 12, 2008 6:08 PM

Hofstetler's Law: Everything takes longer than you think it will even when you take into account Hofstetler's Law.

Posted by: Janet at March 12, 2008 6:08 PM

Thanks, I needed that laugh today! Still wiping my eyes . . .

Another vote for the book "Gotcha Capitalism." (See post by Johann Mitchell at 4:18 PM.) Really worth reading if you pay for cell phone/ phone/ internet/ cable/ bank/ groceries/ etc./ etc.

Posted by: Linda V. at March 12, 2008 6:21 PM

Oh, yes--and the guy will be there between 8:00 a.m. and noon. Really.

Posted by: Linda V. at March 12, 2008 6:22 PM

Yeah.... we have that service for cable, internet and phone. Thank goodness our cell phones are not part of the deal....last week when the cable, phone and internet were all out we were still able to use our cell phones to report the problem, which lasted for 2 days. Seamless isn't all it's cracked up to be!

Posted by: Barbara M. at March 12, 2008 6:56 PM

I have two words for you: unmitigated disaster. I could describe everything that went wrong, but I'd be writing for hours. It still isn't all fixed, and it has been months. I hope you have better luck than I did!

Posted by: aileen at March 12, 2008 7:04 PM

See you, right? Right? Hello?

Anyone there?

Posted by: sandyinwyoming at March 12, 2008 7:13 PM

I give you the words we say in my family to someone who doesn't have a snowball's chance of having things turn out the way they want: "Hey, good luck with that!"

Posted by: Suzanne at March 12, 2008 7:28 PM

heh. I know of some knit patterns like that.

Posted by: Carol at March 12, 2008 7:29 PM

I think that those famous last words never ever happen. It will seam , less easy and not at all fast!

Posted by: Lynda at March 12, 2008 8:22 PM

Like a few other people I saw the three lines of "Seamless, Easy, Quick" before I read the paragraph above and thought you'd be talking about something in a bulky yarn on a circular needle.

Hope all goes well.

Posted by: peanut at March 12, 2008 8:27 PM

Maybe you could go back to the house in the woods for a little while.

Posted by: Mellanie at March 12, 2008 8:42 PM

This service switching is just another way for the wolverines to find you....they will eat the wiring, the phones, the computer, the television and it will cost you a great deal to get bailed out of jail up there I am sure....'cause not even you could resist whoppin' them if them did the above. Like I warned you: wolverines. Let your sweet Joe go after them...unless...

Posted by: PeriMarek at March 12, 2008 8:50 PM

Be sure to register your home address with your internet provider in order to make sure you have emergency response to your home address. Internet phone service and cable TV service route calls thru a server - and that doesn't mean they know where you live. The phone line will no longer be a hard-wired land line associated with the walls/phone line coming from the road to the house.

Posted by: Kristi at March 12, 2008 8:54 PM

"Transparent to the user." Yeah, right. I've worked in the information/data industry too long to believe any of those lies
"Oops." Now, there's a person telling the truth!

Posted by: evalyn at March 12, 2008 9:14 PM

Back when I had my own computer consulting company, salespeople who made those kinds of promises were my bread & butter. Because their poor new clients had to call me in to get everything working again.

Hope your switch is as painless as they promised (hey, it has to happen for somebody, doesn't it?)

Posted by: Carol Ann at March 12, 2008 9:16 PM

What's more hysterical? Your post or all of the depressing confirmation responses that you do, indeed, have something to laugh about? Dear readers of the Yarn Harlot - i love reading the blog entries and then the responses are just as entertaining!! Thanks to all!

Posted by: Susan C at March 12, 2008 9:21 PM

And I'll bet they're going to show up wearing "one size fits all" pantyhose to do it!

Posted by: Mary at March 12, 2008 10:55 PM

...and they all lived happily ever after, in a great big castle, with the goose that laid the golden yarn. Spin another fairy tale for us, oh please do!

Posted by: yvette at March 12, 2008 11:45 PM

We did this not even a week ago and everything worked great right away. I nearly died of surprise.

Posted by: Kirsten at March 12, 2008 11:53 PM

I take it back -- it was seamless and great for ME. My husband, who was at home all day with the cable guy, had interruption in service while they fiddled with settings. But everything was working when I left in the morning and working when I got home and that's all I cared about.

Posted by: Kirsten at March 12, 2008 11:55 PM

I am shifting my 80 year old parents to wireless and broadband. I have taken a month to prepare them psychologically for all the trouble this will cause, and the patience and fortitude in the face of so much technological mayhem they will need. They seem to be ready. I've promised they can come over to my place and use my computer and phone while theirs doesn't work the way the tech people promise them it will. I'm sending in the tech guy tomorrow. I'm just hoping they live long enough to enjoy the benefits of broadband eventually.

Posted by: Sal at March 13, 2008 1:07 AM

I am shifting my 80 year old parents to wireless and broadband. I have taken a month to prepare them psychologically for all the trouble this will cause, and the patience and fortitude in the face of so much technological mayhem they will need. They seem to be ready. I've promised they can come over to my place and use my computer and phone while theirs doesn't work the way the tech people promise them it will. I'm sending in the tech guy tomorrow. I'm just hoping they live long enough to enjoy the benefits of broadband eventually.

Posted by: Sal at March 13, 2008 1:17 AM

We do our best NOT to have things all at one company in case there's an outage. We have cable for our local channels, but satellite for the extended channels. That way if cable goes out we have TV still with the satellite and vice versa. We have a telephone on a landline -- that nothing except the satellite TV is plugged into -- and Vonage for the normal telephone. So if Vonage goes out we still have access to a telephone with the landline. And my internet is with Earthlink that provides me with cable internet but also gives us 20 hours of dial up should cable go out. *laugh* We're a mess of redundancies -- let's not even get into printers and scanners -- but I can't imagine ever putting my faith into one tv/telephone/internet package.

Posted by: twig at March 13, 2008 2:10 AM

Being in the IT industry myself, I like to remind people that the Emperor's new clothes were also seamless and transparent to the user, but didn't manage to keep him warm.

Posted by: Judy Becker at March 13, 2008 4:35 AM

Yeah, right! My husband, the Computer Geek's Geek, used to say things like that all the time. I finally got through to him that every time he says something like that, Murphy comes, lands on his shoulder, and makes sure that whatever he's working on doesn't go as planned. My husband is a smart guy and you would think that it wouldn't take having Murphy pee on him several thousand times to figure it all out, but it did LOL. So now my husband doesn't make statements like that and things run smoother for the most part. Occasionally, he gets cocky and starts to say something like "Piece of cake!" until I remind him, or Murphy does.

Posted by: Dyepotgirl at March 13, 2008 4:39 AM

and I am sure they will be there at the time they quoted you!

Good luck with it all.

Posted by: Debbie at March 13, 2008 7:13 AM

i did this for my birthday last week...only had an hour of downtime but now my sister thinks i have changed my phone number because she called while the tech was working on the installation....oy! still waiting on the bill to see if it was worth

Posted by: KJ at March 13, 2008 8:19 AM

I live with a "Repair and Instillation Tech" who does those upgrades, he hates it as much as everyone else.
To quote Angel. "I think a bored Demon thought this up."

Posted by: Shell at March 13, 2008 8:31 AM

I hope that worked out for you! hahah...
Yesterday we were supposed to get a new satelite TV provider - when DH called to inquire on there whereabouts since he took the day off and no one showed up. The lady said "Where they there today? I see your scheduled for next week." So, she asked if they had been there AFTER he called to see why they weren't there, and after seeing they were scheduled now for next week.Apparently, when you upgrade your package a week before installation, they reschedule you - but maybe forget to tell you that bit of info? gah....

We did get a free month out it for the trouble though. Bets on how many phone calls we need to place after the first bill comes?

Posted by: cheesehead with sticks at March 13, 2008 9:08 AM

When we moved back to Ottawa from Washington,DC, we were in shock at the cost of telecom services in Canada (not to mention the fact that cell phone service is regional, not national, and still differentiates between daytime and evening minutes). We opted not to puchase cable since we're not big TV watchers and "bundled" our other services, hoping to get a discount. Six months and many frustrating calls to INDIA later, we learned that we were not eligible for bundling because we were a "credit risk". Did I forget to mention that Canadian utility companies automatically require customers coming from outside Canada to post huge deposits ($800 in our case)? They refuse to do credit checks outside the country or check back in time in Canada more than a few years. We had been 16 years in the U.S., where my husband earned a large salary at a U.N. agency and where we owned a nice house in an expensive neighbourhood and never missed paying anything on time!!!! Shall I rant some more? Good luck...

Posted by: Elizabeth at March 13, 2008 9:53 AM

Good Luck! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

Posted by: Francine at March 13, 2008 10:01 AM

Huh. Well, maybe if the plantets are in proper alignment or something. I moved last April. I wanted to bundle the cable, phone, and internet to save money. The phone service was turned on ok. But the cable? Three visits, three different installers, 2 "defective" cable boxes later it did work. And the computer? The modem was mailed to the old address. I waited for them to mail a new one to the new address. Then, I had to finally hire a computer geek to figure out why I could receive email, but not send it. He said ($150 later), "there is a bug in their software program CD. I have reported it to them numerous times for my customers, and they told me they pressed 15,000 CDs. They know about the bug, but they keep sending the CDs out anyway." He had to fix some other stuff besides the email, but I've deleted the details from my memory. I've been thinking about switching to satellite TV, but I really don't have the strength to deal with the transition. Oh well. You're in my prayers, hope to hear from you soon.

Posted by: Barbara at March 13, 2008 10:11 AM

Laughing in sympathy with you.

'Seamless'. Having learned the hard way this winter and the sweater with no shoulder seams - and thus no shape or drape (or is that too much drape) - seams might be a good thing....

Posted by: Cath at March 13, 2008 10:57 AM

If it's Rogers forget it. We have everything but phone with them and each time I have to call them about something I spend an hour, get thoroughly frustrated, swear words I didn't even know I knew and then they have the nerve to ask if I want to switch to their home phone! Sad part, there is no real competition for them around here. But one day there will be.....

Posted by: CJ at March 13, 2008 11:11 AM

If something goes wrong, go over to a friend's house and write a blog post about it. You'll be fixed in a snap.

Posted by: Juti at March 13, 2008 11:34 AM

Yes, you'll save money, but what happens if the cable goes down? ALL your contact with the outside world is down.

Maybe that's not a problem in TO, but here in L.A. it's a regular occurrence in bad weather (usually wind), so we keep our landline and cell phones separate.

Posted by: maxie at March 13, 2008 11:43 AM

Oh G-d, we're getting ready to do that - we're dumping Comcast. I've been preparing for a month by switching everything email-related over to a Gmail account. That way, no matter what happens, I can still access my email at the library, the neighbor, at my parents or wherever I can beg time.

Good luck with your switch-over!

Posted by: Anne at March 13, 2008 11:55 AM

Not Rogers?!?? Ewwww. (Will make good, funny blog fodder from now on, tho. ;)

Posted by: Patricia at March 13, 2008 12:37 PM

And why did you not reply, "Great, because the check's in the mail!"

Posted by: Susie at March 13, 2008 1:22 PM

I'm laughing with you!!! Too funny to really think about.

Posted by: Doris at March 13, 2008 1:55 PM

So you're ignoring the tried and true advice:

Don't put all of your eggs in one basket?

Posted by: Helen at March 13, 2008 2:01 PM

and the wait goes on............
So funny (and true).

Posted by: Susan S at March 13, 2008 2:13 PM

I did this last week... tossed Comcast and started with AT&T. (So far, so good.) Today I had to laugh because I got a call from Comcast asking me to combine all 3 services with them for a reduced price... NOT! Hopefully they are a bit smarter where you are.. ;)

Posted by: Susan at March 13, 2008 2:47 PM

Reminds me of the new computer network that "would never crash."
Good luck!

Posted by: lynne s of oz at March 13, 2008 3:48 PM

Oh, wow.....I spent 35+ years in IT, and that is still the best joke - "seamless, fast and easy." Ranks right up there with "plug-in" and "click and go." My favorite has always been "vaporware." Sheesh - forgot that DH spent 5 hours this morning trying to get Norton et al to work right. Then he was up-chucking this afternoon. Related? Oh, I think not.....must be the flu.

Gmail is indeed a fantastic backup/helper. I spent a month in Greece and Paris in November, and gmail was always there for me, Starbucks or libraries or Net shops.

A bit off-topic. I've just moved a project up from an unknown queue spot to #1. DD is going to live in Cambodia for a year or two, and will really need the "debardeur" for which I bought the Phildar pattern and beige bamboo yarn recently. My French is so-so, and I'm getting a bit bogged down in the pattern. (Thought I'd better translate it all first!) Any of you French-speaking Canadians out there willing to translate it for me? I can pay ! ! ! ! ! Money, yarn, chocolate, whatever! Thanks a million in advance.

Steph, get thee to a Starbucks - or a place with WI and wine, anyway!!

Nancy in N MN -

Posted by: Nancy Reed at March 13, 2008 4:18 PM

Stephanie, where are yooou? This is not a good siiiign.

Posted by: tree at March 13, 2008 4:34 PM

Heh, heh, heh. I never blogged about the time that I did the very same thing.

Once I got the bugs straightened out, all was well. But until then? Whoo-boy!

Posted by: colleen at March 13, 2008 4:38 PM

You want to know what alone means?
Life in the woods w/ the deer ain't got nothing on a week w/o the internet. Good luck on your re-entry.

Posted by: julia fc at March 13, 2008 4:42 PM

Sure just like the guy who was hooked up my internet showed up in his 8-12 window. Not, he showed up at 4:30pm. Start knitting, it helps with the fustration.

Posted by: Lizzie at March 13, 2008 5:09 PM

I do tech for a company that provides cable, internet, and phone in one package. And when it breaks they are ALL gone. Hope the cellphones still work then.

Posted by: ranvaig at March 13, 2008 6:09 PM

My response includes 3 very important words.

First word:

Second word:

Third word:

Posted by: Anna at March 14, 2008 9:23 AM

My cable Internet provider wanted me to put my phone service in their care. Problem is: they made their sales pitch while I was talking to the service rep about sending out a tech to fix my non-functioning Internet service. The rep made his pitch, and I said, "But how will I call you the next time my Internet service goes out?" Um. Hmm. "We could be your backup phone." No. The phone company is my backup phone, guys.

Worst part? The cable company's phone service (in the bundle) is more expensive than the phone company's. And they still don't understand why I won't change.

Posted by: KathyInGeorgia at March 14, 2008 11:48 AM

Harlot -
Are you okay? Please don't be lost in a drift somewhere! Please let us know you are happily writing, knitting, reclaiming your possesions and that all is well in the Canadian north - I beg you. A life w/out Harlot is greatly diminished.

Posted by: Melinda in Denver at March 14, 2008 10:10 PM

Never. Wish I could believe... Ha!

Posted by: LynnH at March 14, 2008 11:47 PM