I have decided to retire from my office as “Queen of the World”. I thought it would be fun, but it turns out that there are many things which remain the same, and I have compiled evidence which would make is seem that I was only a pretender to the throne.
1. I could be wrong, but I sincerely believe that the real Queen of the World does not have to scrub the toilet.
2. The real Queen of the World would not be completely broke.
3. As I was shopping for, cooking for and cleaning up after dinner for six, I thought…this is wrong too.
4. I spent hours this morning feeling decidedly dejected and un-queenly when I tried to add a bunch of people to the Thrum-a-long list, and after a period of really, really un-regal smashing about and swearing during which I drank more coffee than is good for me and thought about the screech (even though it was 10:00 in the morning) I discovered that the whole crapping list was not working because I had used “>” instead of the reverse. How many alcoholics and weird, twitchy, overcaffeinated reclusive freaks do you think that html creates every day?
5. The Queen of the world does not almost give up on the stupid Html because she really can’t spare any more laundry time. Also, nobody tries to have the “underpants talk” with the Queen of the World while she tries to figure out html and looks hostile. (NB The “underpants talk” is always swiftly followed by my standard rebuttal, Speech 93-b, subtitled “Don’t talk to me about your underpants, you know where the washer is”. This rebuttal, while well-practiced, is wholly ineffective, but may be somewhat Queenly).
6. The Queen of the World is not so thrillingly outdone by Thrum-a-long Co- hostess Crystal, who posted a clever and helpful tutorial on the art of the thrum, for those of you who find the Harlot method lacking.
I made little progress on the thrummed mitten, but did work past the thumb so that I could cheerfully bring you….
Thrum-a-long, Day 2.
Having worked your merry way up to the placement for the thumb (I assume that if you think the thumb is in the wrong place, you will work more or less rows of the thrum pattern ) we embark on an afterthought thumb, but preplanned.
Knit 2 stitches, then using waste yarn Knit 9, knit to the end of the round.
Continue knitting (maintaining the thrum pattern) until you think the mitten is almost as long as the recipients hand.
The waste yarn will be removed when we are ready for the thumb, and lo and behold, there will be live stiches, ripe for the picking up. ( Many thanks to “Folk Mittens” for the idea)
Your work looks like this.
Northern Exposure
(Am I the only one who loved that show?)
In a bold and foolish move, I’m making a commitment. The Canadian version of the Mason-Dixon sewing up party for Afganalong for Afghans, will be held here in my tiny and untidy house, Sunday the 7th of November at 2 in the afternoon.
While I cannot even begin to top the extravaganza that Ann and Kay held, I promise to bake a cherry upside down cake (with cherries left over from the ordeal), provide some sort of plonk, hose off the kitchen and drag the extra chairs up from the basement.
If you come to this sewing up party, you will recieve the following:
-good karma. Luckily, the more squares you sew up, the better your eternal soul does.
-the good feeling that you can only get from entering the home of someone who is a worse housekeeper than you.
-the chance to play with wool.
-the opportunity to join in a worldwide movement to better the lives of those less fortunate than you (no matter how untidy your house is), just by playing with wool.
Ann and Kay are sending the squares, for the love of yarn, don’t make me sew them up all by myself. I’ll comfort myself with the plonk, eat all the cake….not pretty.