Hold on, everybody be quiet for a minute, listen carefully…Hear that? Do you hear it? That’s right! You hear nothing! Nothing at all. Nobody fighting over a hair tie, nobody sitting in somebody else’s seat, nobody eating every last thing that I just bought from the grocery store not more than 15 minutes ago like some teenaged horde of ravening locusts, nobody accusing someone else of stealing their dignity or their shoes.
That’s right, somebody buy me a beer…(yes, I know that it’s pretty early for a beer, I don’t think you understand the level of celebration that we’re experiencing over here) It’s that most glorious of transition days, that day that I go back to having a career, the day that I can expect to have a full conversation with Joe, to finish a whole cup of coffee before it goes cold and…holy crap, I might be able to go a whole hour without telling somebody that they are wearing too much mascara. (Here’s a tip: If you can only open your eyes halfway and you have a muscle ache in the top part of your eyelid from struggling to hold your eye open halfway? You are wearing too much mascara. There you go, one of Mama’s little life skills.)
It is The First Day Of School.
Amanda (15) gets up this morning and looks outside. Yesterday, the last day of summer and freedom was glorious sunny and brilliant. Today, the day that she will be returned to a world of structure, homework, responsibility and getting up at 7 in the morning the world outside is cold, dismal, gray and raining. Amanda looks out the window, looks at the rain, and bitterly says
“Great. Pathetic fallacy.”
I laughed myself stupid. (I admit I’m a pretty easy mark today, just about everything is making me laugh this morning. I am simply joyful. Did I mention that it’s The First Day of School?)
This weekend I mostly (well, if we are going to overlook the dancing and the counting down) worked on the Something Else. Here’s another piece. Loving it.
The Poncho Parade continues… Check out Cheryl, who totally got the hang of the funky kid poncho (that kid looks like a lot of fun), and our own Lady Norma of the comments. (Seriously, could Norma be any cuter? Who would have guessed that she was that cute? Let’s overlook that this means that I am surprised when people are good looking. It means nothing. I’m sure you are really cute too.) Michelle pulled a Laurie and put a funky “better than the harlot ever thought it could be” edging on it. Lara’s is pretty classy. I’m all over the stripe. I’m so crazy about the stripe that I’m actually a little bit bitter now that mine doesn’t have a stripe, but (I don’t know if I mentioned it) it’s The First Day of School, so there’s really only so much bitterness that I can hold in my heart. Even if you hate ponchos, even if you think that you can’t even look at another one without it starting to have an impact on your feelings for me…you should go look at Lara’s. She has a poncho dance. (I might need a poncho dance. Yes, I know that I am not as young and hip as Lara, and I understand that wanting a poncho dance is wrong.)
About the poncho. I’ve had a couple of emails from people who are not feeling the love. They have poncho problems.
I implied, (ok, fine. I didn’t imply. I came right out and said it.) that you should be able to see where the increases go after the first few. I stand by that. I think you should. Let’s discuss. The yarn over’s (YO) go either side of a centre stitch. All one must do to be free to increase at will, unfettered by the use of the stitch marker, is learn to identify this one centre stitch. If you took it off the needle, it would be this one.
On the needles, it looks like this. (I have thoughtfully drawn the stitch in a lighter colour so that you may see it clearly. This did take a little while, but I have nothing but concern for your happiness. Well that and it’s The First Day of School. I’m feeling generous.)
All you need to be able to do to knit the poncho (or anything else with regular increases) is identify that stitch. See the way the previous YO’s are either side of it? The chain of that centre stitch runs down the work with the eyelets either side of it. You need to knit until you come to that stitch.
This is the only thing you need to learn. See the edge of the centre stitch? See how you can track it down through the work? This is the spot. The first YO always goes here. Every time. Without exception. Once you know where this first YO goes, then you know where the second one goes. (YO, k1 that centre stitch, YO)
Tah dah!
In other news, I have started a new pair of socks.
I am significantly weirded out by how different the socks are from the yarn. While I like them, they really aren’t what I though would happen.
These will be my bus-buddy socks, keeping me company as I travel the city, although no socks can ever replace the Dublin Bay socks in my heart. These have a funky little freehand sort of fair isle thingie that I really hope I can repeat on the other sock. (I lost the chart. Well, I lost the scrap of graph paper that I ripped off of the corner of one of Amanda’s math notebooks. I gotta get me a better system.)
Also, I started another poncho.
Yes, I am beginning to feel the burn of shame. No, I don’t think I can stop myself, and yes, I am starting to wish that I could. I understand that there are those among you who are disappointed that I am using my powers for the evil pointed simplicity of the poncho and are holding on by your fingernails waiting for this phase to end. (You know who you are) I draw your attention to the fair isle peerie on the socks, and the lace Something Else and I ask you…do those projects not redeem me a little? C’mon. It’s a dreadlocks handpainted mohair poncho. Feel the magic. If nothing else, humour me. It’s The First Day of School.
Yarn Harlot
Congratulations! There is nothing like the joy the First Day of School brings. Enjoy the house that is all yours ’til 3:00 pm.
Re setting in the sleeves; I laughed out loud. Thought about showing dh and mum, thought, no, too knitting oriented, they won’t get it. Showed them anyway. They both laughed out loud, both said, “Repeat step 12 2 or 3 times” out loud.
Re teenagers, I’ve had a 15 yr old girl, now have 15 yr old boy. Much larger, much hungrier, much less verbal, however, there is much less mascara. 🙂
Gorgeous yarn on the new poncho…and I picked up the latest Spin-Off magazine and really enjoyed your article. Doubt I’ll ever spin but I do love that magazine for the inspiration, stories and patterns. I laughed my roomie awake reading about Joe trying to hug his sheepy wife…Hey, here’s an idea… do you know the irish folktales of the selkies? Women who are really seals? Hate to mention it but maybe Joe has married himself the Scottish version of a selkie, a wife who eventually turns back into a sheep…(don’t hit me now…)
all the baaaa–best!
I finished my poncho and I love it. I did struggle with the yarn overs and found that the stitch marker was slidding under and made the eyelets all WONKY!! I bought different stitch markers and they worked like a champ. Thank you for the pattern, I have a picture of my finished poncho on my blog if you would like to take a look.
While I don’t have kids of my own I am starting to understand why my mom loved the first day of school so much when I was a kid.
Just remember, even though your daughter is wearing pounds of mascara, at least she is not out stealing cars or something. 🙂
Um … did I just see a BLUE poncho? Is the color blue creeping back into your knitted objects?
Congrats on the first day of school!
Okay, clearly I am overthinking the poncho thing. (Why am I surprised? I overthink pretty much everything. Spontanaeity is NOT my middle name.)
I looked at every poncho link Steph posted today. They are all gorgeous. They all have personality. They all work. The Harlot may have invented the Perfect Chameleon Poncho (though “Very Harlot Poncho” is a way cooler name). I just need to get over myself, spin, and knit.
I can’t quite feel the love for the first day of school. That’s ’cause when they go back to school, they come back to me–which makes me wonder what teachers who have kids think about the whole thing! Oh, yeah, and it’s also because we had classes on (U.S.) Labor Day.
It ALWAYS rains on the first day of school. This year is the first one up here that it hasn’t rained (or at least as far as I can remember). Maybe it’s not raining because I’m not in school anymore?
Congrats on the empty/quiet house. Knit. Spin. Live life!
Yes.. I clearly know who I am 🙂 I’ve decided that I will be designing the one and only man-poncho… but only long after this poncho madness has passed.
Though… I am awfully impressed with the fair isle socks. I hope the floats are nice and stretchy for your musculature legs.
Is “Tuesdays are for spinning” coming back?
Hey Steph!! When does school start?
Hehehehehehe!
I like the socks! And the yarn on the poncho. Even though it is, ya know, a poncho. *grin*
Maybe I’m just jealous of speedy knitters who live in cool climates? (105 here this weekend, people — 105 F!)
Isn’t there an ad on TV about that? “It’s the most wonderful time of the year!” Hee.
The dreadlocks poncho is too wonderful! I can’t wait to see it modeled.
Today is our first day of school as well…I’ve been smiling all morning, giddy with joy….except when I think of the chunk missing from my checking account. No yarn for me in the near future….three kids + start of school = One broke knitter. But, since I have, ahem, a rather lot of stashed yarn…I’m still damn giddy, thank you very much.
I too am appreciating a quiet house today. More time to knit my poncho! I don’t know about a poncho dance, but there was definitely a ‘back to school’ dance happening here this morning!
hey! thanks so much for the poncho pattern, i just whipped one up this weekend, it’s super comfy. i added a bit of ribbed mock neck for warrrrrrrrrmth. thanks again! i love your blog 🙂
Okay, I had thrown my blue cotton poncho on the frog pile in disgust but didn’t actually frog it yet, and after seeing Lara’s I think mine might be saved. I’ll try a contrasting border and it’ll be much nicer, I’m sure. There was nothing wrong with it, actually, except that it was plain blue and not as pretty as all of yours!
Speaking of blue, I’m glad to see that you haven’t given up on blue completely. Or are you using up the last blues from your stash for knitting tutorials instead of making blue garments? That would be sad.
When my youngest was 5 I was chatting with a new neighbor, mother of one. Hearing that Kate, my last child, was starting school, she crooned sympathetically “Oh, that must be hard for you.”
Um.
I have independent verification that my feet performed the Snoopy happy-dance all eight blocks home.
The Fair Isle border is as brilliant as the color-change in that yarn is baffling. Tormenting us with the Something Else as WELL as sticking to p*****s, however, is taxing our saintly natures. Just so you know.
So what is this…like…your 12th poncho? 😉 They all look so great, but I think you might be single-handedly responsible for this Poncho-Craze.
Thank you!
Well I’m about a dozen rows into my 2nd poncho and I’ve even joined the Poncho KAL But I’m loving it and my whole family is getting ponchos for Christmas…mebbe even my dad. We’ll see *wink*
Steph didn’t say anything but the smile radiating from her face could be seen and felt from blocks away. Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it’s off to school they go, Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha, Hi Ho, Hi Ho, Hi Ho.
I second teh gorgeous yarn, I want to know what it is 🙂
Ah — the first day of schools — gone are those restful summer days of knitting and seeing the kids playing in the streets and thinking… someone else is responsible for them. Back to the classroom where my knitting bag sits untouched under my desk — — you’re sucking me in with this poncho thing — maybe me 3 year old neice needs one?
jasmine
I know I’ve been remiss in posting pictures of The Very Harlot Poncho I’m making for my daughter. The problem is, well, I hate to admit it. It’s acrylic. Not 100%, but let’s just say the majority of the fiber content is acrylic. It was chosen by a 6 year old, so I cannot claim responsibility. It was the only thing in the whole yarn store she wanted. Hoping to finish it soon, but I have projects with actual deadlines. I will dare to take pictures this week. I promise.
Hurrah for the first day of school!
Ahh yes!! First day of school! My youngest started school last week…..the two oldest are off on their own….But the middle child is doing a HOME study course!! That means he is home making dirty dishes all day long!!!
I too had trouble with the yarnovers, and I found out that my hands were misinterpreting the stitch markers! Yes! I had a marker for the beginning of the row, and one each for the increases. Well, my hands came to the beginning of the row marker, and just automatically did the yarnovers!! Once I broke them of that habit, I had no further troubles. My poncho is half-way done, interupted only by the urgent need for a birthday gift to be knit. I, too, have many more versions of your “Very Harlot Poncho” dancing in my head!
Congratulations, you’ve survived another summer! And managed to knit in the process… now that’s talent. For me the start of school means the start of a new synchro season where I get to coach 10 12-14 year old girls. And you think you have fights about mascara? Look at how we plaster the stuff on! 🙂
The Dreadlocks yarn looks beautiful. I just love the fall colours! Methinks a poncho might be in my future, too…:)
I’m still not a fan of ponchos, but I love the way the dreadlocks is knitting up. Congratulations on your rediscovered freedom–around here, school starting again means that the thousands of undergrads are back, making everything crowded.
Stephanie, EVERYONE should have a poncho dance 😉 The Poncho Dance is not wrong. EMBRACE the Poncho Dance.
Also… did I MISS something? THERE IS A PONCHO KAL?!?! must.feed.poncho.addiction. WHERE? WHO? HOW?
I hope you’re developing a 12-step for this, it really IS all your fault 😉
i laughed, in a bitter and viscious way, when my brothers paraded back to school. the best was when i was 17 and worked at waffle house. i didn’t start for another MONTH after the public school kids, so i worked mornings. i laughed so hard at all the “celebrate our first day by eating burnt toast” kiddies.
it brought joy to my burnt, twisted, poncho fearing lil heart. ::winks::
in other news, other things redeem you. but these ponchos are going to eat your brains as you sleep. you just watch! you saw what happened to alton brown when he had too many ponchos, didn’t you?
::evil snicker::
yes, yes, my evvvvvvvvvvvvil plan is working!
Okay, I give in. Must ask what fiber you’re using for the Something Else. It looks soft but has great definition. Whatever the Something Else is, I’m starting to covet it.
My vote for the Something Else: a tippet.
I’ve been busy spinning yak and alpaca this weekend, so have not yet attempted the Very Harlot Cape alterations, dear. Due to celebration of the first day of school up there (I didn’t want to make you kamikaxe or anthing, but the child of mine has been back to school since Aug 25), I will cast on this evening and see where the alterations take me!
Can I use Wool-ease for the Poncho. Wool-ease comes in 197yard skeins. Mission Falls is 85 yards. Do I use 2 skeins or should I make sure to only use 1 and 3/4. This is for a teenager. about 5’4 or 5.
My compassion for your kids. I always hated when summerholidays was over … and still do!
Nice ponchoes. I wonder how long I can resist.. but I am afraid they will be out of season here too soon.
IDA
Happy first day of freedom! Now it’s just whining about homework all evening, with the rest of the days to yourself!
And I sure hope “Tuesdays are for Spinning” is back, because it’ll make me feel less guilty about abandoning work to drive – nay, SPEED – to an antique mall to buy the antique spinning wheel that I (mistakenly, thankfully) thought was sold already.
After all…. that’s what Tuesdays are for…
While it may be too early for beer, it is *never* too early for Champagne!!
And, while I am no lover of ponchos, I did see two little girls wearing them yesterday at the fair and for a fleeting moment, thought about knitting one for my 4 year old…
AAahh no fair I have 2 boys off to school tomorrow all 3 on Thursday but I have to wait till Monday to get a WHOLE day all to myself YIPEE!!!! I don’t have the mascara issue to deal with but I do have the homework yuk!
The sock yarn is very weird but very nice, good luck finding the chart, if your house is anything like mine, someone else has used the other side of the paper to draw on!
After lurking on many blogs, I must admit that it was your harlot poncho design that pushed me over the edge. I am now–you guessed it–working on a poncho. I never thought I would write that. Even more, I am crocheting it, no less! will post details & pics on my new blog soon.
No first day of school here, my little ones are too young. Sigh.
Eventually I will succumb to the poncho, and when I do, it will no doubt be yours. Kudos on a quick, easy knit that has style!
Happy First Day of School! Today was my first day too–well, orientation, at least. And someone was wearing a poncho. (Crocheted, from Old Navy.)
I agree that the sock and the yarn looks like one of them must have been switched at birth or something.
Four days until I can start my poncho!
Awww, I’m blushing. I LOVE my poncho. And Aubergine? Guess who was the first “model” of mine? My Dear Hubby. He even volunteered. how’s that for being a good guy? We were on the road, we stopped at a rest stop and I wanted to see what it looked like, as there was no mirror and I had no idea if it was gorgeous or ugly. It looked GORGEOUS, even on him. That was when I knew I REALLY loved The Harlot’s Poncho. So I am waiting with bated breath to see you in yours.
Well, remember the mystery non-yarn present from Newfoundland Steph posted about?
It arrived today, so I thought you readers of Steph might like to know what it is.
It’s a CD produced by the handsome attractive-legged Joe!
The band is called The Sharecroppers, and I’m enjoying the living daylights out of my gift.
There are a few moments reminiscent of “A Mighty Wind”, but I really like “Katie’s Tune” and “Freddie’s Tune” and “Mermaid”.
And, once again, I’m in love with the Newfoundlandish tradition of the songs that tell you “here’re all the things that are hard here: the climate, the tough farming, my granddad’s fiddle that’s missing strings… AND here’s why we’re happy about all that”.
Take hardship, add the amazing tough beauty of the land and the people, and you have music and people you cannot ever forget.
Thanks so much, Steph, and yippee, Joe!
TOMORROW.. tomorrow I will feel your JOY!!! Kids only went for a teaser today, 2 hours, 1/2 hour of which I spent in their gym at the welcoming assembly. I too rejoice in the time this affords me as a watercolorist and spinner.. Bliss 🙂
Perhaps your daughters would like to trade mothers for a bit? When I was their age (I’m two years younger than Harlot–you do the math) my mother was dismayed that I would only bother with mascara for formal events (not that there were a lot of those) and the occasional whim!
While I am lusting after the dreadlocks, I do agree, the suspense is killing me, what is the Something Else?
By the way, you are all reinforcing my decision not to have children with the overflowing back-to-school joy! (And reminding me to send something nice to my mother for living through my and my sister’s teen years without killing us and burying the remains in the backyard.)
Your “1st day of school” entry today is the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time. I will be joining you in back to school bliss in approx. 7 hours when my 13 yr old daughter goes to school. I’m going to remember your mascara rule.
Love your Blog ! I too am experiencing the first day of school – LOVE IT ! Anywho, your ponchos are very nice ! Really love the socks ! What yarn did you use ? Very nice ! Again , grand blog !
Kim
I think we should take a moment to talk about how cute YOU are. “Let’s Discuss” – adorable!
I love your Very Harlot poncho. I just printed it out and when I find the time…will knit her up.
Thanks for the free pattern!!! 🙂
I absolutely adore the colour of your new poncho. I’ve been trying to convince myself that I only NEED one… HA I have some gorgeous Fleece Artist in a more reddish/autumny colourway that’s been hinting at me that it would look fab as a poncho. I didn’t have a single problem with the poncho pattern and even threw caution to the wind and never marked the first row of yo’s. That’s how easy it was. WHAT’s up, people??? The reason I think that the HARLOT poncho is so addictive is it’s instant gratification status! It knits up ridiculously fast! I gloated about the back to school thing last Thursday! GRINNED like an idiot all day. You’d think I won a lottery or something! Yes indeed, “it’s the MOST wonderful time of the year….”
Oh….being from the knitter and crochet world I do believe I’m poncho-ed out! However, I’ve never made one I do like looking at others 😉 AH, the first day of school…it really is a bittersweet thing for me….quietness yes, but at 3rd and 7th grade maybe I’m not there yet…plus last monday I had to put our adorable pooch down, so needless to say I dropped the kids off and never came home until before they came home! it would have been WAY TOO quiet and without my companion….no….
Hey Yarn Harlot!
Love your poncho… gotta make me one of those. Speaking of ponchos, I thought you might like to see (if you have time) my three year old twin daughters wearing theirs (made by my mom and me).
http://yarnageddon.com/moozknits/archives/000747.html
LARA: you can find the Poncho KAL at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ponchoKAL/
Sorry shoulda put that in my previous post. Enjoy!
I love the poncho…I need to make one as a Christmas gift for a (small) eight-year-old and am wondering how many stitches I should start with. Any suggestions? This will be my first attempt at a poncho. TIA.