It’s been a big week. So much to do, and so much of it a challenge. For starters, last week I did my back-to-backs. 90km one day, and 100km the next, and I pretty much felt like a hero. A very, very tired, sort of old hero that gets things done, really, really slowly, but a hero. The rest of the week was full of meetings – the closer we get to the Rally, the more time it takes to be Co-Chair, It’s cut into the time I would spend knitting or cycling, but frankly, I don’t think anybody looks back on their life and thinks “Wow. I really wish I’d spent less time helping out.” (If that’s true, don’t tell me now.)
So, there were meetings, and Joe and I tried to manage the family, and oh, after much planning and dreaming, we put in a backyard pool for Elliot.
Finally found one within our budget range. We are living the dream, people. Midweek, and completely out of necessity because we were out of time, my siblings and I put on a mad push, and emptied our mother’s house. Ian, Erin and I were there, and my brother Jamie called, and it was as close as we could come to being together.
Erin and I stayed late, ordered pizza, had some wine, and as a parting shot, we put on the family theme song (“You can’t always get what you want”) and we made our way through the house, dancing in every room, thinking of all the times we’ve danced up a storm in that house. At one point, Erin said to me, exactly as I was thinking it, that it felt like we were letting go of so much with that house. “It’s all of them” she said, and I know just what she meant. It was a goodbye to Janine, to Tupp, to Mum, to Susan… with the sale of the house we felt a little untethered from the lot of them. When Erin and I left the house after midnight (with a big bag of rocks and a few odds and ends) we closed the door behind us on the way our family used to be.
This might be okay. I mean, I guess it has to be okay, because that’s the way it is whether we like it or not, but maybe now that the house is gone, we’ll stop trying to hold things the way they were. Who knows, because if there’s one thing that I’ve figured out over the last bit, it’s that I have no idea what’s going on most of the time, and that doesn’t matter, because I’m not actually in charge of much of it. (I can tell, because if I were in charge, all of the people listed above would have come quite a bit closer to the average Canadian lifespan, and there would be a lot less left to do for the Rally.)
My house still looks like a thrift shop, and I continue to have no plan at all for two china cabinets, but at least I’m relaxing into it.
I put yarn in one of them.