About 12:30 last night, as I sat trying to make knitting headway on that little sweater (which is crawling along) and contemplating Sir Washie’s future, the phone rang. I answered, since a phone call at 12:30am usually means something very interesting is happening, and lo – it surely was.
Me: Hello?
Joe: You’re not going to believe this.
Now, it’s a week before Christmas, the washer’s broken, we’re under the gun to get Christmas ready, I’m on a “knitting schedule”, the news is calling the snowstorms headed our way “Snow-maggedon”, and we just found out that neither of us is getting paid before the end of the year. There’s not much that I wouldn’t believe at this point, and Joe knows that – so “You’re not going to believe this” is a pretty bold statement.
Me: Ok. Go.
Joe: I’ve got the pickup stuck at my Mum and Dad’s and I can’t get it out.
Me: Really?
Now – see that? He’s right. Joe’s from Newfoundland. He can drive in any amount of snow. Joe never gets stuck. Ever. Dude knows how to drive in any amount of stuff, and he’s experienced enough to not drive if it’s really not possible. If Joe’s actually stuck, then I am stunned. I’m also knitting, and it’s after midnight and it’s cold, so I’m also really not buying that he needs me to get him out. If Joe can’t handle a driving problem, I really can’t.
Me: Seriously?
Joe: Seriously. Baby, I’m stuck.
Me: Why don’t you try a little longer, and if it turns out you’re really stuck, then I’ll walk over.
– because frankly… I just can’t believe he is. I believe that what Joe’s actually saying to me can be translated more like “Honey, I’m frustrated so I wanted to share, but I’ll work it out like I always do because – well, I’m Joe.” I mumble something sort of sympathetic, like “I’m sure you’ll get it” and hang up the phone and finish my row. It’s about 20 minutes later when the phone rings again, and I’m pretty sure it’s Joe calling to tell me that he’s out, and I should never mind and he’ll be home in a minute.
Me: Hello?
Joe: Baby, you gotta come help me. I’m really stuck. I’m so stuck. This is Bad.
Bad? Joe doesn’t get into bad trouble backing out of a parking spot at his Mum’s. It’s not like she lives in rural Ontario and he could be in a ditch. It’s not like there could be a 10 foot snowdrift he’s stuck in or he’s got the car hanging off a cliff over the sea. He’s 3 minutes from home in a back alley drive. Bad?
Me: Bad?
Joe: You gotta come.
Me: Joe, what’s going on?
Joe: Well, I was trying to back out, but there was a BMW, so I didn’t want to hit it, you know? So I pulled up between the garage and the light pole, but the truck slipped on the snow and ice.
Me: Slipped? Why don’t you get out and dig yourself out? Why don’t you give up and we’ll deal with it in the morning?
Joe: I told you Steph. It’s really bad.
We keep talking, and here’s what I come to understand. I have drawn you a small map.
Joe had the pickup truck (which is a completely eccentric piece of junk which starts every day because there has been a small miracle) parked at the bottom of his parents garage. There was a BMW (which we can’t afford to breathe on, never mind hit) parked behind him, so he pulled forward slightly, between the light pole and the garage, and was then going to reverse out. Unfortunately for Joe, as he drove forward, a most unexpected thing happened. The light rear end of the truck suddenly fishtailed out, the front end swung in (what with them being attached like they are) and whammo…
The truck was suddenly and entirely wedged in between the garage and the lightpole – which are – in a remarkable co-incidence, spaced exactly as far apart as the truck is wide. Joe pulled forward, spun on the ice, tried to rock back, spun on the ice and somehow, in a trick that reminds me of that crazy Chinese Finger Trap, only succeeded with every miniscule move he was able to make, in wedging the truck more deeply between the garage and pole.
Every move he made smashed the sides of the truck in more, and by the time he called me, he was entirely and hopelessly stuck and further to that, had reconciled himself to the fact that any solution at all was going to involve ripping the mirrors off and further demolishing the sides of the thing. (Which, it turns out, he preferred to wreaking the side of his parents garage, because even at 40, wreaking your Dad’s stuff is A Big Deal.)
He couldn’t leave the truck because his parents couldn’t get their car out, and they’re flying out of town today (and also, it would be best if they didn’t see this, just for the sake of the parental/child relationship) and just to make sure that this event had reached catastrophic proportions, he was blocking the alley so that nobody in the whole neighbourhood could get their cars out. He was right. I didn’t believe it, and it Was Bad.
Me: Holy %^&*(!
Joe: Exactly. You gotta come over here.
Me: Okay. Walk over and get me and I’ll try to rock it and you can push it.
Joe: ……
The silence is deafening. Joe isn’t he sort of man who shirks for a second at walking over to get me at 1am.
Is he too frustrated? Is he too upset? I don’t want to walk over alone.
Me: Honey?
Joe: ……
Me: Honey?
Joe: Steph. You don’t understand.
Me: Sure I do. Truck stuck. Very Bad. What aren’t you telling me?
Joe: Steph. Think about it.
Me:……….
Joe: Steph. The truck is wedged between the pole and the garage.
Me: Got it.
Joe: Honey…. I can’t open the doors.
This finishes me. Entirely. I’d managed to hold it together until then, but that does it. The man has somehow gotten his truck wedged in an impossible situation, and not only have things gone from bad to worse, minute by minute, but this whole time, for the hour that he’s been trying to find a way out of it….
he has been trapped in the truck and avoiding telling me.
I collapse on the floor, practically laughing myself sick. I keep laughing as I pull on my boots, coat and mittens. I keep laughing as I jog the 5 minutes over to his parents. I’ve almost got ahold of myself as a round the corner to the alley, but dissolve helplessly again when I see him. Truck wedged, sides deeply lacerated, mirrors askew, deep holes dug into the dirt and snow beneath it – with my husband sitting patiently – trapped in the dark.
(For some reason- he isn’t really laughing much.)
I shove the truck hard while he rocks it, and somehow we manage to get it out of the rut its dug and he can finally back up. (We do not hit the BMW.) I come around and join him in the truck, and we begin to drive silently home. As we round the corner and he slows the pickup, it shudders a little and makes a new noise, another variation on an automotive death rattle, sort of a “urrrrhhhhgggg” and it lurches around a bit. I look at Joe. He looks ahead. We drive. At the stop sign we slow again, and the truck repeats it’s mechanical-sea-cow-with-indigestion noise, and this time I asked Joe when that started. “At the 30 minutes stuck mark.” he replies, and we drive on.
We get home and park, walk together quietly towards the house, and I’m thinking about his ordeal. Any other person, I think, would have expressed some sort of hostility or loud frustration by now, but Joe’s a good natured rock. If it had been me, trapped like that, trashing a truck in the dead of night, obstructing traffic and listening to the transmission try to vomit itself out of the hood, you would have found me crazed in the thing. Thrashing around screaming in a way that would have shamed the snot out of my mother… and she can compete at the Olympic level of obscenity herself, should the occasion demand it. I think about that, and the bruises both the pickup and I would bear from my fists smashing off the interior in rage had it happened to me.. .and I look at Joe. “You ok?” I ask him, trying to broach the idea that if he had a little anger to share I would listen, and he looks at me. He pulls off his boots. He smiles a bit, and he says:
“Honey. That was a little demoralizing.”
I love this guy.
Oh. My. God.
This is the only appropriate response to a stuck-ness of this magnitude. I’m on the Canadian prairie. I know.
Best.Story.Ever.
That is all.
You have got yourself a real saint of a man there!
Thank you, Stephanie and Joe. This story has made my day!
First I want to say that I am glad that you, Joe and the truck are safely back home and you did not hit the BMW. Second I am sorry that the truck had sucha difficult night and will show the signs of it for a while.
But I have to tell you I have been sitting here at my desk in tears. I have been laughing so hard (and I really needed it so thanks). I mean I have been reading long enough to feel that you are almost family so I have a great deal of empathy for Joe but I would have been with you on the floor. He reminds me of my husband.
Sorry Joe!
Unholy mess! I started to write “holy cow”, but realized there was nothing holy about it. I agree with Krista M. You win best story ever!
BTW – Congrats on the award for best activity BLOG.
I love Joe.
I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. The shameful thing is, I have been roused from bed many a time to go retrieve my “stuck” husband from whatever mudhole or bog he has buried himself in…but never has *he* been stuck in the Jeep. 🙂
Thanks for the giggle.
You totally lucked out when you landed this guy. Not that I have to tell you. Go Joe!
That man has skill. Getting stuck like that is a once in a lifetime kind of achievement.
And to have such grace under pressure. He’s my hero.
I would have cussed like a lobster-fishermen hearing the market price for his catch.
Tears….laughing. Thanks.
Glad you both ok.
I hope that reclaiming the previous state of affairs (prior to the stuckness) isn’t too difficult. May your holidays be filled with the kind of joy that doesn’t cost money!
And, yeah, you are indeed blessed to have a partner such as Joe.
Seriously ridiculous – I’m snorting I’m laughing so hard. No wonder you love that man.
OMG! Thank you for the laughs today. I hope you both had a beer when you got home.
Poor Joe. Poor truck! Someday he will be able to laugh about it. Just not now.
Congratulations! Best Canadian Blog, Best Canadian Activities blog. It was a landslide.
Oh Stephanie! I had a great laugh just now but am sorry it had to be at the expense of you and Joe! I hope that all goes well from here on out and nothing else can mess with your knitting schedule!!
Oh heavens, I *knew* he’d wedged his doors shut because that has happened somewhat to me. And I wonder if it wasn’t just that sort of “It really did get worse when I said it couldn’t” sort of feeling that kept him from raging. It’s sort of like amusement and despair all at once.
I really hope you find a little pocket of pirate treasure to help you through the holidays. My thoughts are with you.
I’d be crying and laughing and still think he did the impossible!
Hope Santa is very good to you both this year. You deserve it!
I’m glad you were able to get the truck out. There were some impolite chuckles at this end picturing Joe bashfully trying to tell you that he couldn’t get out of the truck. He sounds like a truly amazing man though 🙂
His fortitude is heroic. Big props to you both.
I live in Minnesota. I feel your pain. I also laughed my head off and forwarded the link to my husband.
WHAT A GUY! WHAT A HUBBO! WHAT A JOE!
gotta give that guy a round of applause for handling that so well. I know I would not have handled that as well and neither would my hubbo!
Thanks for the great story and to Joe for being okay with you posting it! :o) ek.
p.s. excellent drawings.
Wow.
I never comment, but that’s, wow.
And such a great retelling!
Oh good. You’ve hit the laughing stage. I was wondering if you were there yet. Me? I think I’d still be in the panicking stage, but since you’re laughing already, it is all going to be OK.
(As a fellow can-drive-up-an-Alaskan-mountainside-with-a-rear-wheel-drive-truck and at the risk of insulting Joe…just a reminder that this is the time of year to put a couple hundred pounds of sand in the back of the truck to try and avoid moments like these. 😉 I’m sure you’re way ahead of me. )
You have amazing story-telling skills. They are put to fantastic use in stories like this.
So now in addition to Sir Washie, you have a truck to worry about? This has not been a good week for your major appliances.
Thank God you married a Newf-have a terrific Snowmageddon! Cheers!Bless ’em!
I’m a Prairie girl, so I can see stuck. Ouch. But come on, Steph – no picture? :o)
I needed this visual today. I am amazed at your wit when telling events. There must not ever be any dullness in your home with your wit and his calmness. You are a pair. Merry Christmas to you all. What a giggle. Keep your senses of humor.
“Demoralizing”? How about the wicked fates lauging in your face whilst you’re trapped in a sheet-metal ensconsed tomb?
I wish I was that level-headed! Y’all stay warm during “Snow-mageddon”!
P.S. It’s 55F in Dallas, TX!
You have a gem of a husband! You are a brilliant storyteller too. I’m sorry for Joe’s truck, and for Sir Washie’s injury. I wish a speedy recovery for both. I thank you for brightening my day as we endure day 6 or 7 of the aftermath of a massive ice storm. At least I have a generator to supply me with basic necessities, and occasional computing power.
Thanks for the laugh — did he ever say how long he was trapped in the truck before he called you?
Wow….
Just… WOW…
I’ve seen things like that… I’ve DONE things like that (we don’t call the site “frozen nowhere” for nothing, it IS the prairies after all)… but I dissolved into absolute hysterics and called the fire department to get me out
First of all a big cyber hug to Joe for being ok. The most important thing is he didn’t get hurt. Now that that has been said, Thanks Joe for the best laugh today. I really needed it. We were told this morning we were all getting a 5% reduction in our salary, no raises next year and our employer match for our 401K is gone for the next year. I needed a good laugh today so THANKS!
WOW. I feel a little bad laughing at the poor guy who was stuck in the car for all that time, but it’s just such a hilarious story. I love how he avoided telling you that he was trapped in the car until he absolutely had to – I think that’s exactly what my husband would have done in that situation too.
I cannot believe you did not take pictures. rofl Evil but hilarious!
Thanks for the laugh today! Now I will go back to chasing 3 boys 5 and under around the house.
I’m really really REALLY sorry, but that is the funniest thing I’ve heard all week. I’m in tears 🙂 Glad everyone’s ok though (well, besides the truck, apparently).
I can totally see a member of my family (not myself of course) doing this, and not having such a calm reaction.
Congratulations on winning Best Blog by the way.
http://cdnba.wordpress.com/2008/12/17/best-blog-of-2008
I found a better presenter than a ball of yarn this time.
That is the best story I have heard in forever!!! I really needed a good laugh today, so thank you. And here I thought things like that only happened to my husband and me…
Oh… wow.
The patience of Joe in that situation should make him a shoe-in for sainthood.
And I commend you that you did not take pictures for the world to see. I would not have been so strong.
I guess he should be glad he had a phone. I’ve laughed so hard, all my mascara is gone. thanks!
That you are all keeping your collective cool and not letting it destroy Christmas says a lot for your character. Sending good karma 🙂
ROTLFMAO! So sorry, Joe! I’m filing this away for comparison’s sake. Should I ever find myself in a sticky situation, I’ll say, “Is it as bad as Steph and Joe’s truck?” Oh, Lord. 🙂 I’m glad it worked out in the end.
Thank goodness he had his cell phone with him. Imagine the alternative — it could have been worse.
I feel a bit bad laughing but that was hysterical. Poor Joe! I hope he was wearing a warm sweater!
Oh. Mah. Gawsh.
I have totally disrupted my offie with my hysterical peals of laughter. Way too funny, although, it’s not, really. But boy, is it funny.
Great, fabulous, wonderful, nearly-ready-to-be-sainted man you have there. Keep him.
Oh my, that was hysterical. MY coworkers are looking at me like I am crazy. I laughed till I cried!
Thank you so much for sharing. You are quite the story teller. Congrats on winning all the awards. You deserve it!
Oh. My.
. . . Can someone manufacture Joe-serum that can be injected into other (more impatient and volatile) dearly-loved husbands? Something with a reverse-Hulk effect, so that when stress levels rocket, dearly-loved-volatile-husband transforms into the Incredible Joe?
Please?
– VB
This is absolutely hilarious, and I love it. And you.
I was sending good thoughts Sir Washie’s way today when I looked at my pile of laundry.
Hi. This is the best thing ever written. I’m pretty sure. But even if it isn’t, it definitely is the best thing ever lived. Thanks for sharing. You found a keeper in Joe. I’m so glad for you both.
My son says that he could have just climbed out the window. I was stunned that he thought of that. I certainly didn’t.
My cybercrush on Joe just got exponentially bigger. ♥
Thank goodness he’s not the sort of person who would be out with an almost-empty gas tank–the only thing that could top that story is if the truck ran out of gas while stuck, and the gas tank was inaccessible between the truck and the garage.
You’re a much better wife than I – I would have brought a camera and took pictures of him stuck inside. Which is why my husband would have called other people before calling me…
Joe is such a cool guy.
Oh. And see? It’s stories like this that earn you the awards.
Still laughing…
Yep, he’s a keeper.
Oh Joe! Oh dear.. oh you poor thing! What fortitude you have.. knowing that THOUSANDS of people would read about this.. oh dear.. Well then..
OMG. Priceless story. When did he realize you were going to blog it, or is that just a given?
my car problems seem so smaller now. We don’t have one anymore, but that means I can’t get stuck in it either! Thanks for the great story.
Also, Christmas knitting. You have it licked. Make your kids do their laundry in the tub with a bucket (hey, I did it when I lived in Cuba)
omg when i was working in the bush i got the forrestry truck stuck like that between two trees and a mudpit. i was by myself in the middle of nowhere blackfly seasaon eventually i had to crank up the ac/dc in order to drown out the sound of the truck scraping back and forth against the tree.
oh demoralizing indeed!
Wow, you guys are really having a time of it!
My son’s transmission went out this afternoon but with the luck you are having I know it could be worse. Thanks for the laugh.
Nicely told. Especially the schematics. But it sounds to me like The Universe is throwing a lot of crap your way. Now you have a washing machine that doesn’t work and a truck whose transmission might be damaged? This is not good. People like you and Joe deserve good things from The Universe. I’m sorry this is happening.
I just fell in love with your husband a little. I hope that’s ok.
WHOA! Wowzer. How very funny and yet impressive! If my hubster were stuck, the inside of the truck would have a deep blue haze from his language and the windows shattered from his anger!
I like to tell myself that the reason I’m not married is because no man has ever really compared to my father and I refuse to settle. And then you tell us about Joe. Darned-near-perfect Joe. So maybe there are awesome guys out there after all.
It’s a little demoralizing.
This story reminds me of the time my partner called me at 3 AM to tell me he had just hit himself in the head with a hammer (I kid you not) taking some shelves down at work. I was supposed to come and get him and take him to the emergency room. Now, my partner is very much like Joe and would not call me unless it was a full blown injury. Unfortunately, I told him to call a cab. Fortunately, 25 years later, he still loves me enough to tell this story at parties for the big laugh.
Poor Joe. Wow, I can’t even imagine. He really is an incredible man.
Dammit, that made me cry.
(AFTER I laughed, that is.)
I too love Joe. And credit you – I don’t know many women that would pull their boots on after midnight to free their husband from a stuck truck – especially if it involves hiking in the ice and snow. You Canadians are a hardy lot!
I would think you were making this up for the sake of highly entertaining writing, but I don’t believe that would be possible!! Joe sounds like a fantastic guy. 🙂
I’m sorry to hear about your troubles! What a bummer of a Christmas season! (Isn’t it amazing how the fact that it’s the holidays seems to magnify all the problems?)
My Mum slid off the road yesterday in her Subaru (this *NEVER* happens in my family). She lives on a rural dirt road that was all ice with slush, and the slope of the road pulled her into the ditch. The sand truck came by and sprinkled sand in front and she drove out — no big deal. BUT my Dad called me last night to inform me of what happened so I could call her when she got home and pick on her a bit. I told my Dad that there’s NO WAY I was going to pick on Mum — we’re both very cocky with the Subarus, and if I ever get stuck, I’m calling her because she won’t laugh! So, while we’re all a bit disappointed, it is best that you didn’t take (or at least publish) actual photographic evidence of the situation.
If all else fails for you this holiday season — just remember how you have a wonderful, loving family; you are able to not only amuse but uplift the hearts of *thousands* of strangers; and because of you, over HALF A MILLION DOLLARS has been donated to DWB.
All the best.
The first Christmas Eve my husband and I were married he had to work the late shift at the convenience store about five miles away. I had gone shopping in our old truck earlier that day and had come home to cook us a nice dinner. A blizzard had started and the temperatures fell as the winds blew. We live in Iowa, so the winds can be pretty fierce in the winter.
At the end of his shift he called me to come and get him from work. I went to the truck and nothing started. Nothing.
I had left the lights on.
None of our friends were in town because of the holidays, so there was no one to call. Alas, there are no cabs in Ames, Iowa, so he walked all five miles across town. In a blizzard.
Of course, I felt terrible. It was freezing that night, and he wasn’t exactly dressed for a hike through snow. When he got home he wasn’t mad at all. He said he enjoyed the walk.
To this day he has never held it against me. What a guy!
Wow. Joe is amazing. I would have been blue with cold, and the air would have been blue with obscenities. You got yourself a good one!
I got it before you said it, I laughed out loud and so much, tears came I couldn’t see to read. This was the best laugh I have had in weeks. Thank you! I would want Joe around in any bad situation, how does he stay so calm?
I will fight you for him.
Sometimes I wonder if you make all this stuff up. No one family can be so funny, not in real life!
*hug*
i have not laughed SO HARD in SO LONG. and you got a great guy there too. awesome post!
you don’t need to know the amount of crap I was going thru today.. but hearing Joe’s stuck story..l well it was the best thing to my day. Tell him that it might be demoralizing, but it helped a person gain som perspective today.
Thanks you two! I needed that!
That was the funniest thing I have read in a while. I feel so bad for Joe and the truck (and you for having to go get them out) makes me feel silly for geting so mad about the times my little car got a little stuck. Your a lucky lady to have such an easy going guy.
P.S. I love your blog!!
After the week I’ve had, the last two postings have made me feel so much better. I now know that it is not only me that life decided to play puppetmaster with. Last week ended with our 15 year old cat going to the vet for various problems. He had to return on Monday for major oral surgery (we can now refer to him pretty much as Gumby). That caused no small dent in the bank account. Yesterday, at 5:30am as I was getting ready to give him his medications, a pleasant tinkling noise caught our attention–as we both looked toward the Christmas Tree, we watched it slowly fall to the floor of the living room. No cat was in the vacinity, it did it all on it’s own. Six hours later, the tree is up and redecorated, tethered up by fish line. Tonight, Wisconsin is getting another snowstorm–tonight tomorrow and another over the weekend… “Snow-maggedon”—I love it. I’ll remember that when I’m digging out–knowing Toronto is probably getting the same storm. I’m whimping out of a meeting out of town tomorrow because of the weather, with the way my week is going, I’m not going to temp fate. Needless to say, the tales of Sir Washie and Joe really helped me deal with my December of torment.
Joe–I totally understand what happened–our driveway is currently a sheet of ice from the hideous weather we had last weekend. When I get to a certain point, I can feel my small SUV fishtailing–and the house is only inches away. Ya gotta love winter up north!
OMG !! OMG !! I was feeling so bad for Joe …until the part he was stuck inside his truck . Sorry , but I completely LOST IT ! Tears are coming down mt face in laughter ! I am sooo
happy you guys got the truck out . Whew !
Thanks for the great story – it made my week !
( which isn’t over yet ) !
Kim O
I picture myself doing something like that every single time I attempt to parallel park. Or, rather, get out of the space I parallel-parked (badly) in. Although…couldn’t he roll down the window and climb out? I think I had to do that once.
Bwahahaha! I’m with you. I would have been driven mad with frustration. Thanks for the laughs today. I needed it.
We love Joe, too. But that doesn’t mean that I’m not laughing myself sick!
LOL – he is one cool dude! Well done on getting the truck free though. How the heck did you do it?
Some time ago I was telling my husband about one of your funny (mis)adventures…probably the one about hiking miles in the Canadian wilderness for toilet paper and beer or the fact that you went a year thinking you were 34 while you were in fact, 35. (I probably have those numbers wrong!) He just said, “things happen to her that don’t happen to other people.”
Guess it’s spreading to the rest of your family, huh?
P.S. Thank goodness for cell phones, eh? Ten years ago, this would have been much worse…
this replaces the best blog post ever.. which was buddy sending his daughter out to pick you up last winter…
i’m so glad that all is well, and i hope that the transmission recovers.
Buy a lottery ticket. Now.
Rams will probably suggest that you pull that gansey out toute suite and get cranking on it.
What, you couldn’t make him wait until morning so that take a picture of it all for the blog? BTW, today’s high was 78F here in Jacksonville. Just sayin’.
Okay, I commented about a half hour ago, but then spent the next half hour thinking about the situation and how my husband would have reacted. And also, how I would have reacted.
Now I feel honor bound to also post my retraction: my normally dearly-loved-volatile-husband would actually have pulled a Joe, except maybe he would have cracked up once it was out and I was in the truck with him. I on the other hand would have really needed the Joe-serum after the first fishtail.
[Nearly similar things actually happened our first winter together, so I’m pretty sure about this. We live 2 hours south of Toronto, just across the border.] [I feel for you.]
– Contrite wife
Amazing story, and an amazing man. Too funny!
what, no pictures for the blog?????? hahaha
i’m so sorry about the truck. 🙁
This story reminds me of the time I got my 1970 Chrysler New Yorker stuck in the garage that was *JUST* big enough for it to drive into. It also was not pretty, but since this happened prior to cell phones I am glad that I was able to open a door and go call for assistance.
Give Joe my sincerest sympathies for his predicament. I *DO* know how he felt.
Hopefully this run of bad luck (your falling behind, Mr. Washie and the truck getting stuck) is done with you guys.
OK, I guess it’s my country-living-with-marginal-vehicles upbringing, but now that everyone and everything are home safe my next questions are does he need to truck to run tomorrow and will it? Can he walk/bus to where he needs to be so he’ll still get paid in the New Year? And which will have priority: injured truck or washing machine.
To your credit, you did manage to pull it together and see the irony well before the whole story has played out.
May your holidays be filled with the joys of family and friends and not so much things and the New Year come soon enough.
Holy cow! Clearly, Joe is a higher life form.
Joe is a prince among men. Enough said.
my god. i scared the cats and the 14 yo boy laughing at that. i can imagine how hard you were laughing.
Oh, poor Joe! And his beloved truck! I did *not* laugh, because it reminds me of *two* times last winter when I was backing out of my short, deceptively easy-looking driveway, only to have the back slide sideways into the frozen-solid bank of ice comprised of a monster plow curl plus the snow I shoveled out of the driveway proper. My driving wheels were on ice, and I needed to pull *uphill* to get the back end free. *No* amount of sand helped.
The first time, I managed to dig out enough to get the car out over a mound of ice. The second? I wound up needing to chop the whole wretched bank out, down to driveway level. *Note to self- clear whole width of driveway this year, no matter how tall the plow curl is….*
OK, since no one has asked, I have to….HOW IS THE TRUCK?
Tell Joe he has my heartfelt sympathy. I really do feel for his version of Mr. Washie. Perhaps a nice oil change? Or air freshener?
Been there, done that! Someday you’ll laugh about it. Demoralizing, indeed!
Abby
Your husband is amazing and you are an incredibly talented writer.
You’re both alive and well.
And you got the truck out.
Hold onto that.
Things will get better.
Oy! Knit that man a gansey! I’m glad he’s O.K. Washers that don’t fit through doors. Pickups that don’t fit past lightpoles. At least yarn is bendable.
Ohhh…
You’ve got a good guy there, Steph.
I was rather wondering when you were going to mention that he was stuck inside the truck. I have to say, good darned thing that his cell phone battery didn’t die on him and that the gas tank wasn’t providing mere fumes for the engine. The poor guy truly could have frozen to death if those two possibilities had coincided in the wee small hours of this morning.
Make that man a nice (HOT) dinner tonight! You hear me, Stephanie?
After laughing myself silly and finally coming back up for air, I realized that this is actually a Love Story. Hilarity aside – who would you call in the middle of the night for help with being stuck … r-e-ally stuck!?! Glad there was no interaction with a BMW and you have your sweetheart back safely unstuck.
Yes. Go buy a lottery ticket. Now.
I still say you should print out your blog as a book. It is far funnier. Hope your financial woes get better. Seems like we’re all in the same bucket.
thank goodness my husband (who works nights) and my son (who is teething) both sleep like rocks so my hysterical laughter didn’t wake them up!
I love that guy too.
OMG!!!!!! Hilarious! Why didn’t he just TELL you he was stuck in the truck in the beginning??? That’s bad……Men………
Jesus. I practically love him after that. That’s a good man.
Merry Christmas!
More than a great guy there…really. You have had your three things (payday, Sir Washie, Truck)you are now free to proceed and enjoy the rest of the holiday season.
Thank goodness for cell phones with charged batteries (which my DH would have been lacking). Great story – and I hope some of those fabulous and well-deserved blog awards come with cash prizes!
Oh, Steph. That was too funny in the manner of ‘been there and doncha hate it but what can you do’. Poor Joe. He’s too nice for stuff like that to happen!! Glad to know you’re both home and safe and sound. The truck can be dealt with tomorrow–at least tonight no one will have frostbite and no one will miss a flight! 😀
Poor Joe! Seems wrong to laugh out loud, but laugh out loud I did!
Oh my goodness. Your previous posts have impressed upon us that Joe is a keeper but this takes the cake! And at what point, do you suppose, that he just knew this was going to get blogged? Some well-deserved Christmas cheer to both of you.
Sir Washie *and* the truck? At the rate you are going… never mind. Having Joe makes up for a lot.
(I am relieved that at least you mentioned His Most Loyal Obscurity on the blog.)
(Since it blows hot air, I presume it’s a he.)
It’s official: Joe’s the Best Guy Ever.
Maybe if I knit him a gansey I could steal him away from you?
I promise not to laugh as that situation is all too real… It is similar to a call I received from my husband where he had *very gently* lodged his car, nose first into a ditch. Being a rear wheel drive and the fact that the rear wheels were not on the ground… well, you get the picture. Give Joe lots of hugs for us. 🙂
Poor Joe!
That man is truly a ‘rock’. I…(giggle)…wow!
Thank goodness for cell phones!Could you imagine if he didn’t have one?And had to stay in the truck all night?Until someone needed to get out the next morning?!?And found him and the truck-stuck?!?That’s what would have happened had it been me or my DH!Thank goodness he was only five minutes away and is now home safe!Thank you(and Joe)for the laugh!
I think your Joe is as close to saint as one could get and I think you are one of the best story-tellers ever!
The one Sorrowful Mystery of Joe’s night you left out was his sure and certain knowledge that his plight would be blogged to an admiring circle before another sun had set. Joe, lambie, my favorite fictional protein character in the world? If it helps, I was fresh from the dentist, front tooth Novocaine, and laughing makes my lip feel like it’s splitting.
(And Joe? Worth it, babe.)
And Steph? Snowmageddon negates the list.
OMG Steph!
You literally had me rolling around laughing my ass off. I could just picture this and how any other person would have smashed a window to get out.
OMG I hope everyone is ok (including your warrior truck – cuz it sounds like he put up a good fight with that light post)
Oh BIG HUGS to Joe!!!
Oh. My. Effing. God.
Is it wrong that i shared this with my husband? Also it would make a great addition to any Stephanie Plum type novel…
Stephanie, I seriously hope that everything from now on only gets better for you: Mr. Washie is repairable inexpensively (I know that is a total paradox!), no more stuck trucks, and your knitting just flies along. I’m seriously behind and not even trying to knit for the 25th of December.
Best wishes, and glad your man is such a rock for you!
Ruth in OH
I’m so glad everyone is home safely. What a sucky experience!
Excellent blog fodder and very funny…now.
Oh my god. Poor Joe. I laughed so hard. Poor guy… you’ve got a prince, Steph. My husband would have climbed out the window and come home to call a wrecker and then taken a sledge hammer to the truck. I would have too.
I was really hoping for pictures.
Oy, Stephanie, what a story! Glad you and Joe got the truck out. Joe is something else.
Regarding your schedule: I began to see how schedules fall apart due to the unforeseen things when I set my cup of coffee in the microwave, fully intending to heat it and get on with my current sock. My brain somehow forgot that I only put ONE cup in the microwave, not the usual TWO (Hank declined his third cup this morning, which led to my confusion) and let my finger push the “hot water” button twice. At some point thereafter it occurred to me that it seemed to be taking a very long time to heat one cup of coffee…and then I looked. It was boiling over. The knitting schedule took a 10-minute hit as I had to clean the microwave.
I can only imagine how much time the truck incident took out of YOUR schedule. At least the BMW was safe, you and Joe got the truck out, and you all got home. Whew!
I hope you get Sir Washie fixed. I’m also sorry you and Joe are not getting paid till next year–what’s up with that?! Was it in a previous post I missed?
Anyway, best of the Holiday Season to you and yours.
I hate myself for saying that I laughed, but I did. I almost cracked a rib laughing!
If Joe were any other man in the world, Stephanie, it would have been your fault that the truck got stuck (even though you weren’t there!).
Joe, I tip my hat to you once again for your grace under fire, for your ability to stay calm in the face of adversity and your mild-mannered delivery of an understatement. You are the man!
He may have his faults but how he took that situation shows he is a SAINT. (and funny too!)
You are married to the dearest, sweetest, most patient, wonderful man (next to my own… I see shades of my sweetie in your sweetie). What a wonderful story. Thanks for sharing! ps, my noro scarf, which I blame entirely on you, is going wonderfully, 252 and 8. Thanks for the inspiration.
Anytime I think I’ve had a rough week, I come see you–and then am shamed at how much more gracefully you handle everything. And then there’s Joe, who is just ridiculous.
“demoralizing” is the word he uses…
… and you blog it.
Your devotion to the blog is unparalleled (sp?). Good fodder must be consumed, and my, does it satisfy.
oh man, you definitely got a good one. 🙂
hey, you should play him this song, which is pretty funny on its own: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDY6bWT5oTM
Joe is indeed a prince among men. But even princes among men can have adventures sufficiently ridiculous to be “a little demoralizing.” Hee! I laughed so hard I nearly gave myself an asthma attack.
But in my defense, I’ve had a similar day — we drove several hours in Louisiana to go to a zydeco festival, the car proceeded to get stuck in the muddy parking lot field *twice* requiring rescue via tractor, in the middle of trying to push it out my poor hubby stepped on a fire ant nest and immediately got several hundred bites, and then on the way home I got a speeding ticket. The young policeman was a bit mystified that my reaction was hysterical laughter. 🙂
Hopefully the truck transmission counts as the third bad thing so the universe will be content and stop heaping bad stuff on you guys!
Holy crap. All I can think of is – of course, this is the kind of man we all want to marry have children with, can he be cloned?
Wow. Coming from Newfoundland as well I was a little confused by the stuck part what with no snow yet. I am so glad you got the car out, sorry to hear about the transmission. We had an incident once back on the rock where we parked the car on our hill and the next car that parked behind us, slid down into us and thus caused our car to slide into the one in front. We had to have a rather large friend of ours come and lift and push the car behind us up the hill so we could pull out. Hope the car recovers, and thanks for laugh.
OMG, not only are you the BEST story teller Stephanie… but Joe gives you the best fodder to bog about. I am killing myself laughing! Hopefully the truck is just complaining and doesn’t barf a transmission or something. lol Joe is too much and totally wonderful, I’d be raging.
I love Joe. Can I have him next?
Wow. Just the best story ever. It makes my whining at the Texas fog and gnashing my teeth over technical writing dilemmas just fade away. What a guy. I am glad he is OK and sorry about the truck.
Now that’s TEAMWORK!! I’m glad you didn’t have to jog very far and you didn’t run into anything that goes bump in the night.
Dear Joe,
I’m sorry I laughed, really sorry. I’m now going to go back and read it again so I can laugh some more.
Oh, God, too much. You’re such a good storyteller. Thanks for the nice neat diagrams – helps us who are spatial-reasoning impaired.
I sent it to my husband (Honey, you know when I made you drive an hour and a half to that bookstore on the other side of Denver to see that knitting lady? You see, her truck got stuck, you have to read it, trust me…) I also made him read the hotel/underpants story, I’m so sorry, I couldn’t help it.
Silly me, i really thought he was trying to get you out of the house for a surprise party or something of knitters! until you got to the diagrams and then i realized this wasn’t a “Surprise Stephanie” story. Oh dear…..Mr. Washie and the truck ailing at the same time.
Ho, ho, ho and all that…..
You are entirely too nice to him. I SO would have plaster a photo all over my blog because you know, I’ll never get *that* chance again. 😉 That said, poor guy, I hope he’s over it.
You two are such a fabulous pair.
Wow. Some story! My own husband would have been beside himself aftet 15 minutes of that, but somehow I think Joe may be made of sterner stuff.
Glad he didn’t prang the BMW.
I think it is plain amazing that you two were able to get it out. Anyone could get stuck in that position but out! Well now. Clearly, that takes a lot of skill.
If he’d managed to get himself out without you, I would know miracles do happen around the holidays.
Is it wrong that I almost wet my pants?
Steph–that man is a total keeper…I adore him from afar, and envy you your good fortune. A man like THAT really does deserve hand-knit navy cashmere socks as often as possible–it’s a good thing he has you:-)
You got a good one there. Sorry to hear about Sir Washie. We had our stove/oven kick the bucket this holiday season right before Thanksgiving and we won’t be able to get one until next year.We too are getting snow this weekend but I don’t think as much as you are.Tis the sesaon 🙂 Oh well all we can do is smile/laugh(better choice than crying)and knit.
Oh… man. Hugs to you both, and glad you were able to get the truck (and Joe) free!
Ooohhh, my stomach hurts so bad. Might be TMI but I am soooo glad I had a sanitary pad on. Its official,, the Yarn Harlot made me pee.
I understand WHY you didn’t take a picture, but still…I wish you’d taken one!
This reminded me, somewhat, of when an intern got stuck in the ceiling at my job, in our old building (complete tale here.
For some reason, we never got another intern.
(So glad Joe was able to get out of the truck!)
Krista said it all. “Best.Story.Ever” and as Holly said, you do have a real saint of a man. I would give my eye teeth (or 3/4 of my stash) to have a man as calm as Joe. Have a great Christmas Stephanie!
So, did you take a picture of Joe stuck in the truck? Or are you a saint too?!!? hehe
with understanding from the power-challenged, ice ravaged, school-cancelled-till-the-new-year, center of Massachusetts, m
Thank wool for cell phones–would he have been there all night if you hadn’t been able to rescue him?
Put me down for the next “Joe-giveaway”…after we’ve cloned him of course!!! Too funny!!! Sorry about Sir Washie…i feel for ya!!!:)))
Thanks…that story made my day!
I laughed so hard at this story that I cried.
Im in my 40’s and life before my wonderful husband came into it was one drama after another. So one year my birthday card from him included a pin. Bright red and saying “I..Have Survived Damn Near Everything” (In a HA HA sort of way) Well now Stephanie, When I look at that pin, I will think of you. In a Ha Ha sort of way of course!
Moments like that really do only happen with the ones you love. Ain’t life a blast sometimes?
“Merry Christmas” To you and all of yours.
That sucks. Glad to hear he was so good natured about it. I hope the truck makes it. That makes my afternoon spent cleaning up after my 3 y.o. puked all over us sound not so bad.
Absolutely classic.
Joe is a saint.
oh that’s bloody brilliant! Merry Christmas you two!
Does Joe have a brother?
Cause if ever my poor husband leaves me behind I know exactly where I would turn…
Cause mind you, my husband and I are more into your behaviour (imagine the two of us – pathetic – but still together after 19 years – gee)a bit too much at time…
Oh poor Joe! Oh poor truck! What a wonderful guy. Is it a Newfoundland trait or is it Joe? Hope the truck just has a little indigestion from the trauma of the experience and feels better in the morning!
Joe is my hero.
wow i feel so bad for u
Heis definitely a “keeper”!
St. Joe, indeed! Wow. What a story …
Wow indeed.
AH AHHAHAHAHAHA. I mean. It’s not funny, but it’s *funny*.
Too funny. I laughed hard enough to make even the kids pay attention when I read the part where he had to tell you he was trapped. Poor Joe. What a sweet guy you have!! Glad it all worked out okay!
That is awful and awfully funny and I did have to find dry clothes after I finished reading it it. But what a guy you have.
Cheers. Naomi
After reading that, I think I love Joe too. Give that man hug and knit him some new socks, christmas knitting be damned…
What a great story. I love that guy, too. What a hero. He is the steadiness to your craziness, right? Together you are the perfect whole.
When I was six months pregnant with #1 son I parked a rental car in a motel parking lot without putting it into park. It rolled backward across the aisle into a spot so perfectly sized that there were no more than a few centimeters of clearance on either side. I couldn’t have driven it into that space. I also couldn’t get back into the car because I couldn’t open the doors. Later I had to explain to the company controller why my expense report had both a rental car AND cab fare.
For one more entertaining story and yet another reason why one should never go anywhere without one’s knitting bag, see my 12/16 blog post. I rescued myself from a stuck elevator with yarn and a stitch holder.
Wow. This is one of the things I just love about you. We buy your books, we come to your talks, we read your blog….basically you’re a rock star. And then you tell us something like this, something I can definitely picture my husband doing!
If I am ever blessed with a partner who has a temperament comparable to Joe’s, I will never ask for anything else ever after.
You realize you have to have another baby, right? I mean, you cannot call it quits with three awesome girls and not try for the boy. The world needs another husband like Joe! I’ve got a pretty killer guy myself – but nothin’ like that.
The world needs more Joes. Quite probably for the betterment of mankind. (And you can tell him I said that, too!)
What a sweetheart!!! Does Joe have a brother who’d be willing to emigrate to Australia??? 😉
If you could clone him, you would be wealthy beyond your dreams.
Oh Joe…I thought you were special before..but now? They need to clone you for sure. Last year I got stuck in my front yard. My driveway is uphill and it was really icy. I guess I gave it a bit to much gas and fishtailed into the pavement surrounded flower bed. It’s front wheel drive so I just kept digging myself in deeper. I got laughed at a lot but fortunately others offered to drive me to work. But that doesn’t compare in the least to this latest adventure. I’ll send good healing thoughts to Sir Washie and the truck. And how dare them make you wait for your pay!
I love how you guys sat in ‘silence’ on the way home. Joe sounds like a saint, but if you egged him on at that point, you probably would’ve pushed him over the edge!
I’ve got to ask. Did you pick up your knitting again when you and Joe got back to the house?!
I think if anyone deserves a “get out of Christmas-obligations free” card, it’s you two. Build a fire, find an afghan and don’t move until the 26th. Make people bring you food and drink. Maybe stop touching machinery? What a great story.
My husband has a LOT to learn from yours. If he breaks a shoelace, runs out of change for the bus, drops something or otherwise has a miniscule curveball thrown his way, the language that pours forth would put a sailor to shame.
Glad everyone’s alright and the garage is (hopefully) still intact.
All I can say is thank goodness for cell phones. Heaven only knows what kind of pickle Joe would have been in had he not had the phone.
The next time you pay the phone bill, do it with a smile on your face.
Awwwww, I love Joe too!
First, bless Joe. Bless him. But I gotta tell ya – you wrote this up and I had tears coming down my face laughing while I was reading. I felt a little guilt laughing at someone elses misfortune, but damn, that was a funny story.
Yes, thank God for cell phones.
Joe doesn’t sound like my type, but I see him having the Colin Firth/Darcy effect on other commenters. “Elizabeth, dahling- perhaps you did not observe that the doors are wedged between the lamppost and the ga-rage.” Utterly restrained and gentlemanly.
Had it been you stuck in the truck at least you would have had knitting with you, yes? Joe is a saint.
I feel it might not be quite the appropriate time for my original comment: Dear Harlot, Game on. Love, the Universe.
P.S. Buy a lottery ticket. Luck that bad deserves karmic balancing on an epic scale.
I’d suggest heavy Christmas drinking, but only if you don’t plan on getting trapped in the truck again… the results could get ugly.
Oh my! Poor Joe, what a trooper. And thanks, after being stuck at home in the ice/snow with 3 kids on snow days off of school, I really needed the laugh.
Steph,
Ok, dumb question, were his mom and dad at home? I’m wondering why they didn’t get the call…
thanks for a great laugh. (I figured out that he was stuck in the truck before you told us. Heh.)
someone give that man some spiked eggnog and christmas cookies! I agree, best.story.ever. I laughed pretty hard! And, by the way, nice diagrams! I think you should actually send this in to George Stroumboulopoulos as he has a best story ever segment on his show, and I think this is of the right caliber.
New side mirror = $50
cell phone = $100
getting truck & self stuck beyond recognition = priceless
I snorted laughing so hard.
Oh. My. God. This really has to be the best story. Ever. I laughed so hard reading this. I will have to get DH to read this!
This is funny! We are roasting here in South Carolina. I am ready for some snow. alohaknitter gave me your blog post. Very good!
Ohmygod. That was too funny. Glad he’s out and minimal damage was done.
snort.
sniggle.
giggle.
guffaw.
call husband to read.
see look on his face at the “i can’t open the doors, part.”
fall out of chair laughing.
husband thinks joe may be his long lost twin brother.
I’ll bet it helps to be a good natured rock when your wife is a famous blogger, and you know about 50,000 knitters just blew coffee all over their computers at your expense.
I seriously started laughing out loud so much that my kids were wondering what was so funny. Great story… Poor Joe.
You are a very good storyteller.
Until I read the last line, I was dearly hoping for a picture of Joe stuck in the truck. Having said that, and thus showing how my mind works, it’s a wonder I myself am still married.
Oh bless his heart! (I say that while trying to keep a straight face for Joe’s sake….really….)
Seriously hilarious. Seriously. I understand that Joe’s ego, dignity, and pride are probably severely bruised at this point, but hey, it’s not permanent. I assume that climbing out the window was not an option?
Yes, what would have happened before cell phones? Recently in our area, on a subfreezing day, an elderly woman was hanging cloths on her line and stepped into a sink hole that was an old well! Dropped way down into the hole. Good thing she had her cell phone in her pocket!
Joe’s a good guy. Something about these laidback maritime men. The husbands a caper and never gets ruffled by anything. Was it the slow pace of the communities they grew up in, combined with their good dispositions?
OMG!
Does it help Joe at all to know that probably every woman reading this wishes they had a saint like him! What a great guy!
Holy cow, that’s quite the tale. Poor Joe… but to be only “demoralized”? Amazing.
Masterpiece of storytelling! I bow to your greatness, LOL!
That.
Was.
Epic.
EPIC!
I absolutely love winter/rural driving for these wonderfully epic “I got the truck stuck” stories. I actually refrain from purchasing winter tires (capitalist cash grab!) because it makes the winter more amusing!! (Also, I spent the tire money on yarn.)
My husband sees no humor whatsoever in this story.
Joe, you are my hero. MY husband would’ve called back cursing (he never curses) if he was stuck there and I had hung up on him… Happy Holidays!
Oh – I’m so sorry for Joe, and you’re right, he’s such a much better person than I am, but MAN! did I need the laugh I just got! Thank you so much!
We love him too.
And the Lamp Post of Doom.
Holy crap. I’m sending that man a cake.
I am still laughing. I am sorry it happened but I needed a laugh today and can relate to the weirdness of things that happened. Man this was funny. By the way I would have reacted the way you would have. I am still laughing!
Only a wife would laugh that hard. And we all did. Heh…Heh…Heh…Now give that man a hug and a kiss. Or whatever else he wants. He earned it.
My husband usually gives a snear for the knitting blogs I read. I sat him down for this one and he laughed and laughed. Wonderful story!!!! All males out there need to read this one. Thanks so much for the continual stories that lift my thoughts every day.
Does Joe have a single brother?
Great story. My husband and both enjoyed that one. And Joe is one of the best but so are you.
I Love Joe! I don’t know Joe but I love him! I l laughed and laughed so hard I cried – this was the perfect way to end a snowy day in Seattle!
Rams, loathe as I always am to disagree with you (it happens so infrequently it’s giving me an involuntary twitch):
Snowmageddon does NOT negate the list. Being stuck inside because you simply cannot go anywhere due to the snow takes away all excuses not to knit.
While in no way belittling the series of problems you and Joe have faced today (this week), it weren’t no bowl of cherries around here today….
So thank you for the chuckle. [Reminds me of the TWO times I forgot to properly set the parking brake on my standard car. You try explaining to the insurance agent how your car got into an accident when there was no one in it…. ]
Give you (and yourself if possible) a big hug of thanks!
Best wishes for tomorrow. Cocooning might be a good idea.
I want me a Joe!
I can’t believe you didn’t take a picture for the blog before you got him out! Are we really only stuck with diagrams?
I am speechless. That is after ROTFLMAO.
Does this amazing guy of yours need us to knit for him?
Congrats on the Awards.
This is why men are fun for us. They think they can do anything, but when something really serious is going on they end up coming to us. I love men. They make me laugh.
This is my new favorite Yarn Harlot posting. Hysterical!!!!!! Although, I’m sure your husband would probably not read it the same way. Maybe in a few years.
Oh my, that man is a rock, where’d you find him?
What a story!!
And if I’d been stuck like that, you can be sure I’d have had to go pee on top of it all. REally badly.
you guys are great! (and why not add some advertising to the blog?)
Betcha this will win the “Harlot post most read to partners” award. The one about the appliance delivery guys comes second.
Oh Stephanie.
I can only say, you and Joe, between the truck and the washing machine, are having my kind of luck! If I could send you money I would… so instead I am going out tomorrow and buy several copies of your 2009 calendar, the only thing of yours I don’t own, for myself and others, sending royalties your way at any rate!
And good vibes and healing appliance vibes your way too!
Wow, what a great story. As for Joe, he is amazingly calm. I honestly don’t know anyone who wouldn’t have had a fit if they were in such a predicament. Joe is a …grown-up. Steph, you are one lucky lady.
I have to say that story just made my day. Here’s to Joe and all the other Canucks (like me) who been hopelessly stuck in the snow.
Merry Christmas!!
And you didn’t bring a camera with you?! Damn! We all would have PAID to see those!
Glad all are safe, even if Joes ego is a bit bruised.
Peace
OK…show of hands…how many shared that with their husbands?
How many husbands found it just as hilarious?
How many husbands found it hilarious, yet sympathized with Joe, laughing only because it was not them, thank God?
We have one hand here!
Oh dear. Poor man. Poor Joe. What a god-awful, horrible night. I hope you both got a good night’s sleep after all that.
Proof that what doesn’t kill you while it’s happening will make for a good story later.
Can’t you get the folks at Blue Moon or elsewhere to whip up a batch of yarn in a nice “Buy Joe a Truck” colorway and we’ll all pay 3 or 4 times the going rate to pitch in. Such patience should be rewarded.
My husband’s truck still bears the scars of my last ordeal with it (trying to rip the door off, catching it on the neighbor’s tree by parking it on our uphill driveway and leaving it in NEUTRAL.) I still cringe every time I see it.
Awww. Tell Joe we all think he’s the manlyist man we know and we admire his concern and protection for both his parents’ and the not to be named BMW owner’s property and holiday spirit (not to mention the insurance agents trouble!).
Joe is a rock star.
I got myself stuck twice this week and I was not nearly as calm as Joe.
I want a Joe!! Do you happen to have one of those in about a 26 to 30 year old range??
Oh God. I laughed myself silly. Your writing of the story was spot on. I just loved it.
You have a real treasure in Joe.
oh.my.god. This is the funniest thing I’ve read since you got locked out of your hotel room in your underwear! Poor, sweet Joe!
Best. man. ever.
Does he have a clone that would be willing to live in North Carolina? I can almost guarantee that we have no snow in these here parts…
Thank you for the laugh! (First time commenter, long time reader)
That one there? That’s what we call a “keeper”.
Dear Stephanie,
I am 41 weeks pregnant and have been having crummy prodromal labor all day. Feeling rather grumpy. Leave it to you to make me laugh! I needed that!
And you’ve got to hand it to that Joe. What an awesome guy. :0)
Joe’s a gem! You’re hilarious. That’s the hardest I’ve laughed since Hurricane Ike!
Thank goodness he had a working cell phone.
For those who ask why he didn’t climb out the
window – the windows are in the doors that were blocked by the aforementioned building and pole, and were also blocked. A last but expensive resort would have been to kick out the windshield.
I wonder whether the initial fishtail was caused by the transmission hiccupping.
May the transmission last until you have the cash to get it repaired. And the teens can wash their clothes in the tub and hang them out to dry in the back yard.
You REALLY had better be knitting that SWEET WONDERFUL HUSBAND of yours some REALLY KILLER SOCKS. Really. No maybe about it!
Good luck, happy holidays, God bless you and yours.
I’m a little bit in love with your Joe.
Awww…that is one laid back man you have there! And can I just say that the mere thought of being trapped in a vehicle has my shoulders tied in knots & my breath coming short. Eeek; ugh!
Merry Christmas, Stephanie; I hope all the rest of your holiday surprises are a bit more pleasant in nature.
He calls you baby! That’s adorable!
We’re out here east of you waiting for Snowmageddon to hit Whitby. My X-mas knitting is in the mail, I’m working on a pair of socks for myself (Austermann Step), smiling because I no longer drive school bus (miss the kids, not the ice & those other drivers that the nice defensive driving instructor warned us about). We’re battening down the hatches with no intention of stepping out until it all clears up.
Which it will do all by itself, right?
Funny story, thanks, & Merry Christmas
Oh, wow. I found myself cringing as I realized the extent to which that truck was stuck. All I can say is that Joe is truly an extraordinary man. I think we all love Joe. Now I think that the universe needs to lay off for a while. Surely you’ve had more than your fair share of aggravation. Perhaps, as Rachel H suggested, Snowmageddon will afford you the chance to catch up on The List. Hopefully?
Congratulations Joe for being so calm cool and in control. I would have been anything but in that situation. Men sure are different than women after all -thank goddness for that . I hate to tell you that I’m laughing at this situation but there you are . It’s because I’m not stuck in that @#$% truck. thanks Stephanie for the chuckle today. May the rest of this season be smooth going for you and yours.
Oh, Steph. Oh, Joe! Oh, it’s just … it’s so … Oh, guys.
I have to go compose myself … which could take a day or two….
Jane Bern at 10:37:
WOW
If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all!
Didn’t your mother teach you that?
Krista M said it all…. Best.Story.Ever!
Tears. Uncontrollable laughter. Snorting. Hyperventilating. More tears.
I have not laughed this hard in a long time. I’m sorry for Joe and his plight…but Stephanie, this was some of your best story writing EVER.
I just dragged my fiance up here to the computer to read your latest shenanigans. I laughed so hard when I first read it, but was still chortling when I read it a second time. Poor Joe! I think we’ve all had a “stuck” moment, but I know I handled mine like Jack Nicholson on crack, instead of how Joe did. I have been wondering lately, as I have been reading your archives, how you and Joe met? Do you suppose you’ll ever tell us knitters how you met the love of your life? Merry Christmas! 🙂
Will share this with my hubby. He is not like Joe. He probably would have worked himself into a heart attack. Kudos to Joe & you.
That man is a wonder. He just is too amazing to be real. You are a lucky, lucky woman to have Joe. But then, he’s a lucky man to have you. Thank you for sharing the story with us. Now I’m going to share with my hubby.
I didn’t think you could ever top the bird sweater story. And yet, you did. Give that man a big, wet, sloppy kiss – and save one for yourself. Christmas has officially been moved to December 29. Peace out.
Oh. Oh my. I just laughed until my stomach hurt, and then it made me cry a little – tears of sympathy, and a weird sort of relief that yes, Virginia, someone on this rock might indeed have had a harder day than I had – I mean, someone living in an industrialized nation.
Poor poor Joe. What a trooper.
Poor Joe and isn’t he thankful for mobile phones? Oh, and I find it hard to believe that with all the sliding, crashing and spinning someone didn’t notice. Even if they weren’t kind enough to go out and help him, I bet they told his parents!
hehe, he calls you baby, thats so cute! i wish my joe was a joe like your joe…
OH MY GOD! That is the funniest thing I’ve ever heard. Poor Joe… I think Joe’s my hero, though. I hope I can handle the littlest of inconveniences with his grace! LOL
Well now you caused quite a stir at my house and it’s 2am in the morning. I got up because my back was ouchy and I needed to ice it a bit. So I’m sitting here reading this tale and laughing my arse off when the husband comes rushing in half awake wondering what dire straits I have gotten myself into. I’m trying to tell him about the story and told him to read it. There is nothing funny about a nekkid nearsighted man wondering if I was in horrible pain and me trying to explain that I was laughing and telling him to just go to bed. Oh yeah and count our blessings for our little one inch of snow. Keep Joe, but you already know that.
Did Joe take any of your washing over to his parents house? Would be a shame if all his efforts were for nothing………
Congratulations to both of you for patience, perseverance and partnership. Really. I didn’t learn that until divorced once and single 10 years AND 50 years old. Hope the aging truck survivives and that you get paid (by somebody/everybody) soon.
‘DEMORALIZING’ that is quite a word.
Never mind the Christmas knitting – reckon you should drop the lot and finish the poor man’s gansey! Seriously what a nightmare, glad it’s just the mechanicals that are hurt and not you two. Tell Sir Washie we’re thinking of him.
Tell Joe we’re all proud of his perserverance. And the ability to not hit a BMW!
This definitely beats my story. My car once got stuck in the middle of the street and I had to get to work. They sent someone to pick me up while my husband was waiting for the CAA to come out. I had both sets of keys in my pocket. The tow truck bill wasn’t pretty.
I’m glad I live in Australia now. When I look back on Canadian winters, it seems like a nightmare.
Oh my GOD! That’s so funny I almost choked to death on my coffee! You should have some kind of warning on the top of posts like this that say something along the lines of “Warning! Reading this post in the morning may result in flying coffee particles and choking! Please finish any and all beverages before reading to avoid injury to self and computer! You have been warned!” Poor Joe, what a guy though! My husband and I both grew up in serious snow country and so we can really appreciate this one. I only had one thought after I got done laughing and choking, and that was thank God Joe had his cell phone and that he had cell phone reception. Just picture what would have happened if he had forgotten his cell phone or it didn’t work where he was! (Cell phone coverage where I live in the mountains is spotty at best so here that would be a big concern.) It could have been much, much, worse, and oh so much more humiliating if he had to wait until someone discovered him in the morning LOL! Also, he was really lucky you were still up! I hope that both the truck and Sir Washie both recover with a minimum of expense and anguish. Joe deserves a medal for handling the whole thing with such manly grace. You do too for going out alone, late at night, in the freezing cold to rescue him!
Poor Joe!
If he was on Ravelry, I’d *so* press his ‘love’ button…
(Don’t worry – I’m not trying to steal him. He just deserves some extra sympathy!)
Thank heavens for cell phones! And, to people who truly have each other’s backs in any situation.
Hopefully things are less eventful between now and the end of the holiday knitting!
Oh my god.
I’m dying. Joe. a little demoralising. oh dear. I love the internet. I love that I get to hear this story.
Thank you so much.
oh, and give my thanks to Joe, too.
I love you guys! You’ve made my day.
Best. Story. Ever – Agree (1)
Aw, thanks for sharing. I couldn’t sleep, and that just made my (obscenely early) morning.
“Joe’s a good-natured rock”
You summed up the entire thing right here.
What an awesome dude.
Just to let you know I have read this post five times and each time it just gets funnier. I even had my DH ready it. His response – That is a good man. LOL
Wow. A hero.
Wow. Just wow. Hooray for Joe and thank goodness you guys got the truck out. I have to show this to my husband later – he’s similarly unruffled by things (though not quite to Joe degree) so he’ll get a kick out of it.
OMG…..this story will become legend….and Holly’s right, no one deserves sainthood more. Let this be a lesson, your cell phone must always be fully charged and in your pocket.
I think I love Joe.
Your poor truck. 🙁 Joe is clearly demonstrating an amazing amount of patience and nonchalance. 🙂
ROTFLMAO!!!! I have been sick in bed for the last five days, bemoaning the fact that I am not at all ready for the onslaught of Christmas visitors, cooking, wrapping, not to mention I haven’t finished my cards yet, when I come upon this hysterically funny story of you and Joe and all that you two have been through lately and it warms my heart to know you are both still coping with life in a grand and graceful way. I can do it too! THANKS!!! And HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
I have finally been moved to comment. Such a wonderful story. I hope Joe and the truck have recovered from their ordeal.
What a story! Poor Joe, stuck in his truck! Thanks for the laugh. 🙂
Joe, you know The Blog thinks you’re a prince among men, right?
LOL!!! I hope he was wearing the sweater you knit him! My husband also had a pickup, and a few times had to slither in/out through the sliding rear window! Hope his parents can fly out with the storm happening! Merry Christmas!
I laughed til I almost cried. I think it was the pictures that pushed it over the edge. My husband thought I was nuts. He didn’t see as much humor as I did , which made me laugh even more. Thank you for a much needed laugh.
No wonder you love him! What a trooper! ( at least he wasn’t driving some glamor vehicle that would be offended to have “bruises” ) By the way, having had periods in my life like this myself, I didn’t laugh once.
Rachel H — It must have been the Novocaine talking. Of course Snowmageddon is a knitter’s REWARD for all previous miseries. What was I thinking. I blame the Verset from the day before. (Why yes it HAS been an interesting week here.)
And Presbytera, only a tall man from lake-effect snow country who is also composed entirely of compassion could fail to find this funny. Try Father Mark with the hotel-corridor underpants story, just to see if his compassion is egalitarian.
Oh. Too funny.
I’m laughing and tearing up at the same time. That must have been terrible. Poor Joe! He’s a keeper if there ever was one. I hope he feels less demoralized today because the fact that he got out without hitting that BMW took skill that is well beyond me.
I hope that both the truck and Mr. Washie stop making funny noises soon. Preferably in the least costly way possible.
Does Joe have a younger brother I can set up with my friends!?!
Joe, we love you.
OMGoodness, my college building (practically deserted with the last day of finals) has been ringing with laughter.
Grew up in the Midwest and was able to drift bust in a Dodge Omni, so at first I was perplexed by the problem. Then I read on.
Oh, man. Joe doesn’t have a single brother, does he? All men should be like him!
Here’s hoping that the truck (and Sir Washie, btw) make a full and INEXPENSIVE recovery.
Oh man, what a solid guy. Just imagine if this has happened say, 10 years ago when most of us didn’t have cell phones in our trucks with us. He would have had to get someone’s attention or spend the night!
Not to mention some big thanks for cell phones!!
What a calamity! Your sense of humor saves you every time and really supports Joe! He will laugh next time! What wonderful pair you are! I was worried about my finances until the end of the month until you told your tales. Thanks for the laughs and joy you bring to everything. I could just hear my husband in the same situation. So happy you made it out and got home safely. Have a wonderful Christmas, you make it all happen.
when I grow up I want to be more like Joe
It must be a Joe thing. My father also a Joe is the steadiest, calmest person I know with the sharpest sense of humor ever. I remember one time when he got his truck stuck in mud in our back yard. We had to call AAA to get the truck out. The tow company didn’t believe us because the address on the account and the address of where the truck in need of a tow were the same. They came and all was well, though the tow truck almost got stuck too!
wow.
just… wow. I think we all love Joe!
Completely. Awesome.
Even more appreciated by the fact that I’m sitting through the biggest snowstorm mid-michigan has seen in years.
Funny, funny, funny.
Oh HOLY Mercy! Dude.
Joe, are you feeling the love? Lots of it out here. I had Bobby come in and read it. Sounds like us 20 years ago but with no cell phones. (except he’d definitely be the one thrashing about in the truck)
Hope the fixes for truck and Sir Washie are not too painful, and I’m really glad you both made it home safe and sound (somewhat sound,eh?). xoxoxox
Wow.
I… I… can’t even contemplate that stuckedness. Nor my reaction to it. (But I was giggling through your retelling of the Incident(tm).)
Wow. Kudos to Joe.
I had sneaked onto the web from work just for a little break. Then I read this and I had to go hide because I was laughing so hard. Poor Joe! I’m glad y’all were able to make it work 🙂
Oh lord. You drew that first picture and I got the whole thing…probably comes from living in snowy-pickup land myself. I knew what he did, and I knew he wasn’t just stuck…he was STUCK. Poor Joe!! My dad would have been FURIOUS and angry by the time all was said and done. You have quite a guy…but then, you know that already. Here’s to the resurrection of Sir Washie…I think this is going to be one of those holidays you look back on and laugh and cry about…in about 10 years.
I love him too!!!!!
Wow! It’s situations like Joe’s that reaffirm my happiness in not having a motorized vehicle (though don’t ask me come January when I walk to the grocery store and back in the creeping yuck).
Man! Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy. He so did not deserve that.
I am so, so glad you guys were able to get out of there. I am also glad he had you to call. I probably wouldn’t let the poor guy live it down, with my “better him than me” attitude.
If it was up to me alone, I’d still be in the truck freezing my ass off.
I can’t decide what I love more.. the story- or the fact that Joe let you tell it.
HUGS to you both.. stay warm and if I get stranded I know who to call… SUPER STEPH to the LAUGHING rescue!
I adore this story, and you have definitely earned some good karma points in giving us all a giggle.
Glad you got Joe out safely! 🙂
And you couldn’t take one little photo?
This is the funniest, cutest, most touching story I’ve heard in a long time. I am practically crying from laughing so hard. Your schematics are priceless….as is your husband.
Believe it or not, I saw a girl do the EXACT SAME THING but between a light pole and a commercial car garage. I couldn’t believe it. I think hers was even worse though, because she’d been trying to turn as she got through the gap, and consequently her passenger tire was wedged against the light pole, meaning the only way for her to move was to drive forward a smidge, continuing with the left turn, and rip her entire side mirror off.
“Good natured rock” doesn’t even come close to describing that kind of hero. Congratulations!
This is funny and heart-wrenching at the same time. Stephanie, you do so much for other people, is there a way we can donate to the Sir Washie and truck repair fund??
I’ll add another vote for Joe’s sainthood. Demoralizing, maybe, but it really did take some skill to avoid hitting the BMW.
that was a GOOD giggle….thanks!
OMG, I am so sorry for this and karma will smack me down later, but I am laughing so hard I can’t even stand it. I so needed that. Merry Christmas, Harlot, though I think Joe is prolly the best present you’ll ever have, and we’re all a smidge jealous.
It’s the maps that did me in.
Its the maps that did me in.
My husband read it changing Joe to Eleanor (me) and laughed and said I could have been there and he could have been the rescuer. Ellie
Please tell Joe I *so* feel for him. I did a variation of this when I was 15, with my dad’s pickup. I had been allowed for some while (learner’s permit, don’tcha know), to pull the truck from the yard in under the carport if it started raining, to protect his work stuff in the back. This was usually at Dad’s behest, while he finished watchiing the ballgame inside, on a weekend.
Well, one weekend my parents and sister were at the church league softball games, and I was Home Alone. It started raining. I felt obligated (ok: excited) that I could once more drive the truck a few feet. In my defense, it was raining really hard, a good southern downpour. I noted on the driver’s side of the garage that my dad had already unloaded a 2-ton air conditioning unit (his job was HVAC). That kinda ate into the available space. So I sidled the truck over. Now, on the other side, were a set of brick steps inside the garage that led up to the back door, that ran parallell down the garage wall. I thought I was doing pretty OK, when I felt/heard that most horrible of sounds: CREAKPOPSCRUNCH. I panicked, and hit the gas instead of the brakes. More horrible sounds. I stopped. I assessed.
I was so stuck. That door/side was crunched over/wedged into the steps. Turns out driver door was Very Blocked by a Very Heavy A/C unit. I couldn’t get out. I had some time to sit there, contemplating my eventual fate when my dad returned. Just as I realized I was doomed, I heard a new sound–a funny sound like nails pulling out. I sit, beyond fear now, just a mass of quivering, evolved protazoa, and watch as the entire mass of towering shelving units along the front end of the garage–which I had hit with the front of the truck but not really noticed in the side-screeching mayhem–began to sloooowly lean towards the hood of the truck. Yes, Joe. It all fall down. BOOM. Towards the windshield, which cracked. Did I mention the shelves were full of stuff. Heavy stuff. Iron and steel stuff. Think the scene in Twister where they run from the F5, and find the barn full of deadly scythes (are there friendly, undeadly-looking scythes?) and all manner of sharp pointies. Nails. I distinctly recall lots of boxes of nails. And screws.
There I sat. Trapped in the cab. The entire north end of the garage laying on the front of the truck. The right side panel of the truck wrapped over the corners of tiered bricks. The left side smack against a big metal unit.
I had to sit in that truck, contemplating my fate, for 5 hours, until my parents got home. I’d like to end this with saying my father looked at me and burst out into laughter, but not so much. There were punishments.
My only solace was that, decades later, my Dad had just gotten his very first New pickup truck (had always had used before), and had driven it to my sister’s for a family dinner on Sunday. My sister ran out of ice, and in the rush to get to the store, backed hard right into the right side panel/door of the pretty new white truck. Very new. Did I mention it was Father’s Day?
Dad still won’t let either of us drive his truck anymore. I’m 48.
Feel for you, Joe.
I am there for donating to the washing machine/truck repair fund. How do we do that? Can I send a book to be autographed with a $50 tucked in the front?
Oh. My. God. I love you and Joe soooo much!
Steph I keep coming back and reading this story.
It makes me laugh so much.
I am glad everyone is ok but you and joe are so wonderful together.
hugs
“and the bruises both the pickup and I would bear from my fists smashing off the interior in rage had it happened to me.. ”
I have had that rage! Last week actually. Arm bruises all better now, thanks.
I’m so glad joe is ok. I will be thinking of you guys and the snow (‘mageddon) as I drive to Nova Scotia tonight and tomorrow for the holidays.
Steph;
Along with everyone else I have laughed too – albeit a bit late ’cause I have been “sans Internet” the past few days.
Did you left out some stuff – which perhaps would have made the entry a bit less work/child safe?
My bladder was in sympathy with Joe while he and you had a 20 minute delay between phone conversations.
If he had a bottle or used Tim Hortons cup in the cab with him, it would have been easier for him (being male) to wait. I was trying to envision myself rolling down the window for relief – not a pretty sight. And again, easier for a male.
Happy continued knitting,
Janey
janeyknittingATyahooDOTca
Kudos to all three of you. (And Get Well wishes for Sir Washie.)
To you–master storyteller status (mistress? h’mm).
To Joe–I kowtow in awe of his patience and good humor. Bless him 1,000 times.
Oh, yes.
Merry Christmas!!
This story had me near tears. The image of poor Joe sitting in his truck, helplessly pinned in was rather a bit too funny (thank goodness for cellphones!).
It does remind me of a high school friend who saved up to buy himself a Jeep. He loved to go off-roading in it and decided to go around a newly started development – plenty of mud and rocks to rumble over. Alas, he became hopelessly stuck as well and had to call for a tow truck to pull him out. As is usual, the towing company asked him for his license plate at which point he had to confess – MCGYVR!
I’m thinking people should come from all over the world to learn tranquility at his feet. Its easy to be at peace in some meditation room or chapel somewhere. Forgive the pun but where the rubber hits the road is when you are jammed in your truck after midnight, smash it and still manage to walk away serene.
that wins best snow story of 2008 for sure.
What a great guy!
PS> I have to admit that you get bonus points for not collapsing into a fit of laughter on approaching the truck.
Wow. I don’t usually laugh at other people’s distress, but that just cried out for a good belly laugh.
Which I’m still enjoying.
I have got to remember NOT to sip wine while reading your posts. I’m not sure I’ve ever had wine come out my nose before 🙂
Brilliant diagram! It was so good, I knew Joe was stuck inside the truck before you told it! I am extremely proud of you for being able to help get him out without hitting anything. How did his parents not hear this going on? I am also proud of you for laughing and getting it out before you got to work! Good job, good blog!
OMG, I literally laughed out loud and given the snow we got in Chicago today and the lack of any other soul on the road (I think they all took snow days)….I really needed that!
Joe rocks. Seriously.
I should know by now, after these years of reading your blog, not to read it while eating my lunch. I need a squeegee for my monitor. Thank you for sharing the story, and your amazing husband with your readers. He truly is a gem of a man. Happy Holidays to you all.
I was on the verge of tears, I was laughing so hard.
Though I’d probably react violently and lose my voice by the time anyone got there. Good job Joe, you deserve a gold star. Stay warm and good luck with the intense snow (it’s pretty intense in Michigan too).
Thank you. At this time of year it is good to know that there are men like that still out there. And, it is very good to laugh.
I was having a bit of a crummy day until I read this! Thanks so much for sharing….
Sorry about the truck, Joe. I’m glad the parents’ garage is doing OK, though.
Happy holidays! <3
Awesome story! I laughed so hard. That totally sounds like the type of reaction my husband would have.
I nominate Joe for President. Of the Universe. Anyone who can remain that cool, calm, and collected gets my undying admiration and vote. I’m a mess as soon as I get a hangnail.
Thank you for laughter when i really needed it. And for reminding me of snow…I live in Hawaii now (where we deal with flood water) but i grew up in Iowa and i know how to drive in snow…
best. relationship. ever. i love joe stories. thanks for sharing and especially the diagrams labeled with “light post of doom”.
It’s these moments that remind us why we are with the person we’re with. I’m glad you guys got the truck out and no one was hurt.
You are married to my husband’s twin. They are both saintlike. The only difference is that my husband is a technophobe and probably wouldn’t have had or figured out how to use his cell phone to call.
I laughed out loud while I read your story.
Thanks for sharing.
Your incredible story is why I fear the truck my spouse bought while I was in away this summer. He thoughtfully tried to fulfill my every wish, using past trucks as a model – except for there is NO sliding camper window behind the seat. Not that Joe or I could necessarily or actually get out that way due to sheer size compared to window size, but I’d sure as heck feel better knowing I could try. Or I could let my dog inside with me. OK – maybe I’m irrational in winter.
L.M.B.O. The only thing that has kept me from actually laughing out loud is the fact that I am at work, and that I work in a library. This is just about the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time.
How come it has snowed everywhere in the world except for where I live?
This post made my tummy hurt, I was laughing so hard. Three cheers for Joe; he’s a keeper. 🙂
Thank you for sharing that great life event. 🙂 Joe- you are a true gentleman. And thank you for not attempting to climb out of the truck window – the fates would have really messed with you then. *chuckle* Think of how that ‘story’ could be, hmm accessorized. I hope that Old St. Nick is very generous to your family. Stephanie – congrats on the award! Merry Christmas to you all.
Thanks sooo much for this story – I really, really needed the laugh. We’ve been without power and water at home for 8 days here in NH due to last week’s ice storm, and “snowmageddon” has just begun. It’s been grim and it’s far from over.
Last winter was my hubby’s first with the old plow truck he bought, and I watched him back it off the driveway and get it hung up on a stump. I teased him about it for months. Had I been in your shoes, I likely would have peed in them from laughing so hard.
Thank you so much for a true laugh out loud story. I had a similar experience as a new driver, got stuck on the cement base of the vacuum @ the car wash in my mom’s car. I empathize with Joe and admire his outstanding ability to remain calm when anyone else would be at least vocalizing their frustration in four letter words. May you have the merriest of Christmas holidays!
Awww. That is absolutely ridiculous, but truly lovely!
Wonderful story! Falling down funny, but was it necessary to send the storm our way? Snowin’ like there’s no tomorrow out there.
Wait! In the stormy silence there a small sound. Could it be? Yes, it’s the sound my knitting needles!
Cozy is as cozy does!
Sheesh
What a story! It must be true though, because no one, not even you, could have made this stuff up.
Merry Christmas in spite of it all!
When I saw the first little drawing, I thought he might be stuck in the truck. I am surprised that you didn’t bring the camera and take a picture of him in the truck before you helped him out. That was nice of you.
Sending a hug to you. But you really have a keeper.
I am worried about my husband driving home tonight after work. That’s the part I don’t love about New England winters. Driving and shoveling the snow. Other than that, it’s pretty.
please write a book entitled “My life with Joe”…it’d be a best-seller!
I am so glad that you are warm and well right now.
Your husband is a prince.
ari
Okay, so I laughed and laughed at this great story and even sent the link to my husband. I then proceeded to jam my van in a snowbank (causing me to employ some very un-Joe-like language to mark the occasion) and had to walk the full length of my driveway (1/3 of a mile) to get my kids off the bus in a snow storm. I spent the next 90 minutes excavating the van and the part of the driveway nearest the house –while the wind patiently blew all the snow right back again –and issuing warnings to my husband about not trying to get his tiny car through all the snow or he would get stuck on the driveway and block the plow. No sooner had I finished shoveling, then he blows right up the driveway with no problem. And, as soon as we were all home with no intention of leaving again, the plow finally shows up and erases all evidence of my hard work. To top it all off, it turns out that when I called to tell my husband the van was stuck, he felt so badly that he abandoned what he was doing and rushed home to help. Unfortunately, what he was doing was trying to buy a pair of new leather club chairs with which to surprise me. Which, I suppose, it what I get for laughing at the Joe story.
What a good, good man. If only there were more like him!
I loved this story. And I think I have a little crush on Joe…
Stephanie,
Thanks for the chuckle at this stressed out time of year! Showed your diagram to my husband who was passing by the computer area at the time, and he (also a man of few words and prowess at driving in the snow) says about the slipping and ice, “yeah, that’ll happen”. Knit on…
Rebecca
Somehow I knew that was coming. When he kept saying he was stuck, I knew he meant that HE was stuck. It’s terrible to laugh at another’s misfortune, but that was pretty funny. I hope the truck recovers.
He’s a good man, that Joe of yours!
(applauding) This is one of your best stories ever! Rank it up there with the “locked out of the hotel room with no pants on” story!
joe rocks.
Isn’t it lovely to be married to a man you really love, in good times and in stuck in the snow times. I am blessed that way and so are you. It matter so much. Happy Holidays, despite all the woes. I’m sure you’ll have one and we will too despite woes that are great story telling fodder. They’ll be better story telling fodder after I finish processing them. This time of year is always mad, and funny, once you get the distance to make it so.
Stephanie,
You are such a gifted writer. My little writers group gal says that you should write as though you are painting a picture and sure can do just that!!! Sorry about the truck and glad Joe is ok. You are awesome. Linda Colorado
Gosh.
Sorry Joe, but I laughed until I cried when I read this. I made my husband read it too and he goes, “You like that story so much because it sounds like something I would do.” =)
OhMyBob! Hugs to you and Joe for your rotten night. But thank you for the story. I had one of those days where I actually locked myself into a bathroom stall and cried because the Salvation Army man yelled at me. And then I got home and cried as I fought with $&*#&$#$#^$&*#^&*#%&*#^$&*#%*@^%@&*$^&*( computer and digital camera because they would NOT work together and I needed those photos for my store reports. And then I cried because when I called my boss and told him that I got it fixed and he could pull my reports, he was so nice about it and told me I could’ve done it tomorrow…
I needed a giggle.
Stay warm in your Snowmaggedon!
Glad all is well.
But i laughed till I cried and thought I would pee my pants
You’re Joe is one of the best. I know I couldn’t have been stuck in a truck for an hour in the dark and been that calm… and I’m one of those that “rolls” with whatever comes my way pretty well. That was both funny and inspiring to me. Thank you.
Merry Christmas.
Oh my god, the poor truck!!!! Poor Joe, though!!! And y’all had me laughing my arse off… Still do, actually!
Okay, Joe is every bit as wonderful as my husband of 30 years- except my husband gets stuck a little more often. What a gem!
We’re in Spokane Washington where yesterday we broke OUR record (not anything like Canadian snow) for the most snow in 24 hours- from 13 inches to 19.4- as you can imagine, it has been a bit interesting.
Thanks for sharing your marvelous story.
Have a very Merry Christmas!
Steph,
He’s definitely a keeper.
Melissa
PS Thank you for helping me provide mine with his first belly laugh in a couple of days.
You guys never fail to amaze me. What a life you lead!
Sounds like you had quite a night 🙂
This rivals the Christmas Story of 2002. In short car creamed from the back by a hit and run driver, plowing the car with my two children and parrot into the car that spun out on I-5 at the Siskiyou Pass in Oregon closing the pass for a full day. The whole story takes about two hours to tell, and involves blood, a televsion appearance (not in a good way) and an exploding toilet (toilets only explode when they have been used) in the Motel 6. It took two full days just to get back to the scene of the accident with a whole different car….lets just say you got off light but I feel your pain.
And you without your camera!
I’ve been stuck like that…but I wound up perpendicular in a gully that was pretending to be a back road with “banks.”
It was dark and there was a dog…
I call it “The Night of the 237 Point Turn.”
Took me an hour and a half to get out.
Did I mention that there was a dog?
Thank you, Stephanie! :o)
I emailed my son with the URL for this blog entry. I told him nothing. “Just read this”, I said. He emailed me back this morning –
“I loved it. I chuckled a lot reading the phone conversations. I laughed like crazy at the end. That would have been me – wait and wait and wait before saying what the real trouble was. But I don’t think I would have been very calm like Joe was. What a great story! Is she a writer? Does she have books of her stories?”
Little does he know.
We all love that guy! You’re very lucky. I had the exact same symptoms with my own junior washie last week! The pump was clogged with fluffy stuff (batting I suspect) and the repairman told us not to wash that stuff anymore. It cost $120, which is significant, but does not approximate the cost of ripping out any built ins to get a new washer into the basement. 🙂 Good luck with Sir Washie.
I think I just peed myself a little bit!
OMG, how did he stay so calm?! The man is a ROCK!
Thanks so much and tell Joe thanks too. That just made me laugh and boy do I need a laugh at the moment. Why do things always happen around christmas? There are plenty of other times in the year when its quiet but everything goes wrong at the busiest time!! Hope you have a good time and that snowmaggeddon doesn’t get any worse.
The image of Joe stuck in the truck made me laugh so hard I cried. I’ve got a practical, handy guy of my own & can totally imagine him getting himself in a similar situation, but he’d have never been that calm.
My 30+ year old machine need a new belt a while ago & it cost so little that I don’t even remember how much it cost, hope Sir Washie is the same.
Off to finish the laundry now!
Poor Joe. His humiliation is now spread world-wide for our amusement. But I gotta say…. Thanks for that! His attitude under pressure is truly amazing.
I have tears in my eyes from laughing.
Awwww, poor Joe!!! I hope he (and the truck) will be OK!
:O)
Helped a guy out of such a mess once with a back hoe…..Kutos to you for getting him out….airborne for the Battalion conbat team
I hope he had a VERY good beer afterward. That man is unflappable to the nth degree. If it were my husband, the first trip after getting unstuck would be to get him to the hospital for an elephant tranquilizer and a padded room.
Wow. What a night. I tried to put myself in your situation, and realized that in the truck, I would’ve been a gibberering mess. Out of the truck, I would’ve necessitated calling the fire department.
You guys are incredible!
Oh….my….goodness! I sure hope that Joe wouldn’t kill you for knowing you posted that. It was a really good read amidst all this Christmas Dashing to get everything finished and perfect. 🙂 We all needed him to do something like this to take our minds off of panicking and sore wrists and sleep deprivation! LOL!
That’s…amazing. You two are obviously an incredible team. As I read this, I kept thinking, “Rob [my boyfriend] would certainly not be calling me ‘baby’ in that kind of situation!” Joe is a saint! You poor things. What a hot mess.
Please put a warning at the beginning of the story.
I was drinking a cup of tea as I read about poor Joe and the truck, and ended up snorting tea out my nose because I was laughing so hard.
Yesterday I found myself in a similar situation to Joe. The driveway to the garage of my condo is *very* narrow – building on one side, concrete retaining wall on the other. I got maybe 20 feet before getting stuck. Could open the doors about 2 inches – but no way I’m getting out of the car. Lucky for me, the maintenance guys had arrived and were snowblowing the sidewalk. They dug me out and helped me get on my way.
That was hysterical!! I just about lost it when I read he was stuck in the vehicle.
At almost 40, I so get the parent thing. Somehow, no matter how old you are, you just can’t risk messing up your parent’s (read: Dad’s) stuff.
Truly, your Joe is a saint.
i was playing a driving video game right after reading this, and in the process of trying to get a wily velociraptor, i got my pretend range rover stuck between a pretend storage shed and a pretend palm tree. “uh oh, i pulled a joe.” i muttered as i hit the gas, came unstuck, and rolled the rover.
Best Story Evah™ Steph! Sitting here at O’Hare waiting to get on a plane to London LMAO and getting the strangest looks. Better get back to knitting my sock. I hope you and Joe have a wonderful Christmas.
I live in central North Carolina and the closest we get to Canadian snow is black ice and 2 inches that melts by noon. However, I can fully sympathize with your Joe. My respect to him for not losing his cool. I have the luxury of waiting for the sun to make my life easier but you have the snow as a way of life.
That’s amazing, reminds me of times when I’ve gotten stuck, though I haven’t gotten stuck that tight in-between anything (yet) Glad to hear he got out! =)
Poor Joe.
But have to tell ya, you’ve got the best guy ever.
gee, i’m so glad it wasn’t a older person who had really fallen,and couldn’t get up..which would have not been so funny. glad to see you are all ok.
Goddess Bless you both! Joe is a keeper for sure. I hope there is not serious damage to the truck. Only a great man would sit stuck for over an hour and not mention it to his wife.
Bless that man, bless him. I remember, this is the same Joe who shattered his leg, had his truck repeatedly suffer and had some kind of banking trauma regarding his identity only last year.
How is this man still functioning, still a living, breathing member of society? How has he not crossed over into a new plane of thought, the kind that ends with thinking the front window is actually a waterfall, that the traffic raging outside your house is really just an amusement park ride waiting for you to get started, or that if you jump hard enough off the roof of your building, you actually will fly, not crash to your death?
You should knit him something kind of fancy.
I knew this was going nowhere good when you mentioned Joe’s a Mewfoundlander – stuck in snow….that IS horrendous! And –yeah, what THEY said! He is, but you know what? I think, lucky as you are to have the likes o’ him, he’s as lucky to have the likes o’ you. If one’s going to get stuck in (literally) a truck that’s stuck (literally) in the snow between a pole and Da’s garage, then one’s whole lot in life is enhanced by having a bride who a) is willing to come OUT at 1:00 am on a snow night; b) is *able* to do the old push-and-rock successfully to extricate the truck; and can Make it All Better with some killer hand-knit socks. So as I see it, BOTH o’ you are blessed in marriage. (And I *do* know a good man when I hear of one, because a) my Mr Dearling is ALSO one of those *good men*; and b) he’s my 3rd husband so I have something to compare them to. :o)
Y’all need a winch on that truck, which is how we get ourselves unstuck down here in Louisiana, only it’s usually knee-deep mud here causing the stucking-ness.
Unless it is snow, like last week.
Of course, you have to be able to get out of the truck to use the winch.
BTW? Be sure to tell Joe to get a winch, not a wench.
What can one say, Saint Joe! You have married a saint…. thank god we know at least one really exists…
Congrats, Steph…today even my completely un-knitterly husband loved your blog! Best wishes to Joe…he really is terrific!
Merry Christmas to you and yours, and may no further tragedy find you in the near future 🙂
Oh lordy, I must have laughed at this 4 times while reading it, then laughed again when family folk were reading it. It’s so funny, because it just sounds like something the Plaidman would get caught in. Bless his heart, Joe’s such a sweetie! Thanks for the (very loud)laugh!
Well, you fooled me. I thought it was all a brilliant (if inconvenient) ruse to present you with a brand new BMW. Silly me.
DH knows I’m a big fan of yours, but this story converted him, too.
So perfectly told, and so funny.
Both my son and my husband found this story funny enough to laugh, but I found it so funny I was in tears. My husband said it’s on a par with the incident this fall where our nephew came over to get some help and when asked what was wrong kept saying: “You don’t want to know.” Turns out the nearly ready for slaughter pigs had fallen into the septic tank (which they’d managed to root around enough to dig up) and needed to be extricated. Some situations are only funny in retrospect, or if you aren’t the person to whom they happened. My husband would have been equally taciturn and would have found it an amusing story to tell later.
Meanwhile I am on my third Christmas hat (second version of your basic hat recipe – this one with a curled brim). I wanted to tell you how much your writing has made my late fall more bearable. You’ve given me laughs and inspiration and I’ve needed both. I think you need to write more books quickly… So far I’ve knit two versions of your socks, two versions of your hat, and I’m actually making headway at clearing some yarn out of my overwhelming stash. I’ve morphed from a knitter into a Knitter this year and my son in particular is doubting my sanity, but I’ve saved a lot of money on Christmas presents and learned a lot of new knitting skills. BTW your blog is one of the first I check each day.
I agree with dale-harriet about you both. Bless you and have a wonderful and stress free christmas.
I was just at Barnes&Noble- your calendar is sold out. Yay you!
OK, so I’m knitting my first mitten. I did everything they said to do (I think), and have just gone back to p/u the thumb gusset stitches to knit the thumb. And I’m stumped….
According to the way I read the pattern (Elegant-and-Easy Cable Mittens for the Family), you put the thumb gusset stitches on some waste yarn, and continue on with the body of the mitten. Well, now there’s no yarn down there with which to knit the thumb! And it doesn’t say anything about starting with some additional yarn and then weaving in the ends. Which of course I could do, but is that the right way? (Sorry, type A knitter here. I’m already agonizing over the fact that I didn’t do the Twisted Ribs in the cuff the Right Way. Well, yeah, they look fine, what’s that got to do with it?!)
I’d go to my LYS and have them show me, but we had our own mini-Snomageddon here in Portland, and even if I could leave my house, which I can’t, I doubt they are open. I have Googled, I have searched my knitting books, and nothing seems to address this problem.
Help!
I just came in from getting my Honda Civic unstuck in the snow and slush. It slid in our sloping driveway, and the driver’s side wedged against a retaining wall. There I was (not a small person) trying to squeeze out of the car over the shifter. At one point, I think my left foot was semi-wedged on the dashboard. All I could think of was Joe and it was a great comfort to know that at least I could get the passenger door open. I now have great empathy for the poor man.
Have a Merry Christmas and hope Joe gets something very nice from you!
Darling girl, you don’t need another comment after all of those, but nevertheless I wanted to say, here’s a hug and here’s blessings for Midwinter and Solstice.
Love from Ireland
OMG! TOO FUNNY!
First time reader of your blog. Enjoyed the story (the yarn). Why do you call yourself harlot (prostitute)?
and the thing is, Joe probably doesn’t even realize just how amazing he really is.
My friend recently suffered a tragedy in her family and got so tired of talking to people and explaining that she put a message on her phone — I’m in the middle of doing laundry. I’ll call you back when I’m done.” Any mother knows that the laundry is NEVER done – sounds like your laundry is really never done. Another dollar bites the dust….. Hope this gives you a laugh because you’ve given me lots. Thanks for all your time over the years. Merry Christmas!
Well, I read your post to my husband and we laughed (with you, not at you). And sympathized. Then Norm went out in our blizzard to go feed and water the neighbor’s animals and drove into the ditch! That was Saturday – now it’s Monday and the plows have gone by, so he’s heading out in the other car to do the chores for very thirsty animals and see how soon it will take to get our other vehicle out of the ditch!!!! We know the pain!
THUMB GUSSETTS:
is the waste yarn still there? it should be, and when you are done with the mitten you go back, carefully pull out the waste yarn, which gives you two rows of “live” stitches to then pick up and knit, using a new end of yarn that you will later weave in to hide. I’ve taken to using ribbon instead of waste yarn– it pulls out much easier
Hope this helps.
“…That was a little demoralizing.”
lol So you shared with a few (hundred) blog readers? …grins…
(laughed hard enough to forget how much my arm aches from raking 2 feet of snow off the roof.)
That has to be the best story, I have read all day. Thank you for the laugh
So I just got myself a little stuck in the snow, you see Im a southern california, transplanted to the PNW (Seattle) to be exact and we have got a load of snow, and I can only imagine!
So…..how goes the knitting schedule?
Oh man, that was…..oddly romantic and frustrating at the same time. You got a writing bug, my lady! Of course, my man can’t be such a cold-weather rock all the way out here in dry…moistureless….Las Vegas…
I am so sorry I was laughing too…Joe you did good man.
Steph–time lost knitting was well spent.
🙂
Merry Christmas!
Dear Steph, your long silence has me (and the rest of your fans) more than a little worried. I hope you’re in the “knitting zone”, unconcerned about blogging, and nothing more dreadful has happened to you and yours!
Take care of yourself first, Joe second, the girls third. Let everything else take care of itself, if possible!
Merry Christmas and a happy, healthy, more prosperous New Year!!!!
OMG. Poor Joe. But I couldn’t help but laugh. I wonder if part of the demoralizing effect was realizing he’d be blogged. heheheh What a great sport.
I never post a comment but had to this time – I was laughing out loud – not really at your predicament – but it was just one of those scenarios that you think never happens to other people. It’s refreshing to know they do! 🙂 Happy Holidays – I am in knitting-homestretch too!
Emily
Joe is good guy.
My washer was 5 when the transmission died, i sold my ford aerostar, because I was told my transmission was dying, those friggin transmissions. I did not mind washing socks and undies by hand, but pushing the van back out of a strigically planned parking spot, because the delivery truck for rental appliances was deliverying in the loading zone, for a well to do neighbor, just chapped my ass.
Absolutely incredible story and an absolutely incredible guy.
I know you’ll have a merry Christmas…..
ROFLMAO thanks the laugh……..
OK, he’s a keeper. Thx for dispelling my Xmas Eve frantics.
Sounds like he was in a real “jam” sheesh!
Oh my, I love reading your blog. Its priceless
I’m sooo behind reading… what a wonderful storyteller you really are, thanks.
My Brian is also a master of understatement. After 16 years (my “previous life”) with a powder keg partner, I still am amazed that someone can be calm when I’d be a basketcase. Nice to really get it that there are a handful of these gems in the world!
Best to you and your loved ones this holiday.
I think that the Vatican should probably fast track Joe’s canonisation or at the very least beatify him – and I’m not even a Catholic :]
ROFL!! Thank You for sharing that story (it’s a classic). My Mom and I loved it and both wish to send poor Joe and his truck our sympathy 🙂
Happy New Year to you both.. and keep those stories coming
Rebecca and Isabel
That is a terrific story. I had to make my non-knitting partner read it.
This has to be the best story that i have ever heard. I was crying i was laughing so hard. this is just to good.
way to go joe. you rock my world!