A Whole Other Way to Be Wrong

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 Sometimes I feel like knitting has a sense of humour, and it’s not necessarily a good one -or maybe it is a good one, it’s just sort of mean. 

I started La Joie du Printemps mittens a few days ago.  I didn’t swatch.  I admit it. I think mittens are wee, and that means that I don’t mind ripping back if it turns out I don’t like what I’m getting,  and that means that I was very graceful when indeed I didn’t like what I was getting. No cursing, no bad behaviour, just me and the mitten going back to the start.  I measured the gauge and instead of the 10sts to the inch I was supposed to be getting, it was 8, and I can see how that would give me a mitten bigger than I wanted, so back we went. 

I ripped it into nothingness, hunted up a set of 2mm needles and began again. Going down a needle size usually smartens things right up – and at such tiny tolerances, .25 of a millimetre is usually enough to get a 2 stitch per inch change with fine fingering weight… at least in Stephanieland, which is where I’m knitting, so it’s all that matters.

I began again, and charged along, ignoring entirely that the mitten was still coming out too big.  I told myself that it had to be smaller, that there’s a big difference between 2.25 and 2mm, and every time my brain tried to tell me that for whatever reason, this mitten was still big,  I slapped that intelligent part of my brain down and kept on knitting.

At Knit Night, my friends said the mitten was too big. There were varying opinions on how big was too big, or what I should do about the bigness, but not one of them said that it was totally fine. (Actually, Megan said it was fine, but Megan is notoriously anti-rip.  She’ll do almost anything to avoid ripping- and apparently this means she can forgive mittens excessive bigness.)   Dr. Steph said that when a mitten comes out too big, sometimes she knits a liner mitten, and the too big mitten becomes a shell.  (I know that if you’re in a more temperate part of the world you might not see the advantages of double wool mittens, but this is Canada, and the sense of it is inarguable.) Someone else said that they would look for a big handed friend, or look for a male family member who wouldn’t be emasculated by the rather feminine combination of these colours and this pattern. I participated in the conversation, but I didn’t buy in.  I ignored how big it looked when my friends slipped the mitten on, and told them they had really small hands.

At home, the voice in my head wondered out loud if maybe the mittens were really too big, but I gave my common sense a smack upside the head and told it that if I was getting 8 stitches to the inch at 2.25mm, then I was absolutely getting less at 2mm, and that meant the mittens were definitely smaller even if the didn’t look smaller, and by the way, shut up. 

I could have definitively won the conversation by getting out a measuring tape at that point, but I suppose part of me was protecting another part of me from shattering my delusions. 

Last night I was knitting on the mitten, and I put it down beside me and examined it for the 47th time, wondering if perhaps it wasn’t a little on the large side, when Joe happened to mention that it was sort of a girly mitten for a man.  I assured him that it wasn’t his Christmas present and that they were for me, and he gave me the weirdest look, like "how big do you think you are honey?" and even then I didn’t take it to heart.  I was tired, I was crabby and seriously there are rules in knitting.  If you go down a needle size then the knitting will be smaller.  This is the way it works.  I’ve been knitting for a long time and it’s absolute. Bigger needles makes the work bigger, smaller needles make the work smaller and I really don’t care if this mitten doesn’t look smaller because I KNOW THE RULE.  I went down a needle size and these mittens are smaller.  I went to bed early.

I got up this morning and ignored the mitten for a while, but it lurked at me. Just now I decided to sit down and knit for a minute, and somehow I was suddenly able to face it.  The mitten is too big.  Really too big. I measured the gauge, and unbelievably, its gauge is 8 stitches to the inch, the same as before I went down a needle size.  I drank a coffee and glowered at it with sheer rage, infuriated by the audacity of its largeness. 

How can that happen? How can you go down a needle size and still have the same gauge?  It occurred to me that maybe I didn’t go down a needle size.  Maybe I accidentally used another set of 2.25mm needles.  I whipped out a needle gauge and measured.  Nope. 2mm.

I poured another coffee and stared at the mitten.  This is something about knitting I’ve never understood, and it always puts me over the edge. The way it can mock at the rules and always be a surprise and just when you think you’ve got an rule figured out, it turns out that knitting doesn’t give a crap what you think you know – its got an exception to your crappy little rule because really, there are days when knitting just likes to smack you around and keep you humble, because we all just think that knitting’s inanimate, but that’s not possible because it can’t be that this is all just random, and really you’d think that we could find out a way to dominate this bloody thing because we’re bigger and smarter and faster than yarn and …

Something occurred to me. I went over to the table and picked up the 2.25 mm needles I used the first time.  I slipped one into the gauge. 

2mm.

I’ve deleted my concluding paragraph 4 times because it keeps coming out with unladylike language.   Feel free to imagine how I ended this.

Fondly,

The Village Idiot

272 thoughts on “A Whole Other Way to Be Wrong”

  3. Been there. So many times, I’m embarrassed to say. Liner mittens of 100% angora have been a wonderful fix for my “big” mittens — so soft, extra warm, totally necessary in Northeastern winters!

  4. That would be me. I was wondering the entire time reading this if you were really using a size 2.25 in the beginning. It is exactly how I would do it (actually, I would have 3 needles at 2.0 and 1 at 2.25 and think the entire set were the same).

  7. You are knitting with US0 and you need to go down to US00?!? Argh. I have a pair of too-big mittens and will have to try the liner idea with them. One’s hands can never be too warm in winter. Yours are lovely and worth a third try at.

  8. Really? REALLY!?!? Huh. Story of my life, ma’am. Good thing the yarn is strong and you’ll be able to rip back a second time.
    Third time’s the charm, right?

  10. Au weia! (German for Ouch). That calls for Beer, Chocolate and maybe even a bag of Mesquite BBQ potato chips!!!
    But I have been known to do the same thing!

  11. I agree with Beth, it might be beer time.
    I was browsing on the bluemoon website when I found your siofra pattern for the baby bonnet and booties..all I can say is they are beautiful!

  13. I was sure you were still knitting with a set of 2.25mm that you thought were 2.0mm. Well at least you found out before finishing the first and casting on the 2nd one.
    It’s never the complicated things that trip us up.

  14. If your looking for a big handed girlie girl… no need to look any further. Love the mittens and the story. Can you drink beer this early??? I think you’ve earned one. ENJOY!!!

  15. It’s stories like these that help me keep on keepin’ on. On days when I lose count (as in “One….oh, darn, where was I?”), I remember when you’ve had the odd trouble with counting, etc. When I screw up, I know I’m in good company and that my knitting will get better!

  17. In the interest of helping, I just want you to know this: If you ever have this problem again, my hands are enormous!

  20. Oh Oh Oh. Those Knitting Gods, they have their own sense of humor. I must say, been there, done that, but with an entire sleeve of mohair. *sigh* Unladylike language was absolutely called for.

  22. I will rip back on a cardi that I have been working on in empathy. I was undecided until I read this post. I don’t like the join I did with the yarn for the second skein of yarn and it looks far to cute right now to allow the sub par join to stay. Thanks for that. I feel much better now.
    I have started marking my wood needles with stripes from a sharpie. I have two sets that were labeled wrong from the manufacturer. grr.

  23. Ooooh, dear. The mittens are lovely though.
    Also I see you have a needle gauge from The Fold in Marengo. I’ve only been there once but it’s one of the best yarn/fiber stores I’ve ever been to.

  24. I have absolutely done this before. If it makes you feel better, I have been swatching for socks in chunky weight yarn. The pattern says to go down to US size 7 needles to get 11 sts/in. I got 9.25 sts/in on 7s and 9.75 on 6s. Using size 4s last night got me to about 10.25, but I’m afraid to know what size needle I’m going to end up using by the time this is all over with.

  29. Well at least you didn’t have to go out and buy a needle guage to discover your error. Somewhere in this world there is a gremlin with at least three of mine.

  32. I know, you can blame it on the sounds of the airplanes! I know when the Experimental Aircraft Assoc (EAA) airshow is in Oshkosh, the noise can be distracting or else you drop everything you’re doing to see what is flying overhead. Especially when you look out a window and the Goodyear Blimp is starring you back in the face! Not even mentioning the warbirds airshow when they drop “bombs” and huge black clouds arise over the airport from the “wall of fire”. Anyone who didn’t know what was going on would think the end was near.

  33. I think it’s lovely that your absolute pig-headedness is relegated entirely to knitting – your very own knitting and not how someone else chooses to live or love or eat or even knit. Lovely.

  34. Oh, sweetie, look at how many of us have done the same exact thing, again and again. It must just be part of the process.
    It gives us an excuse to drink beer. Look on the bright side. I love the way the pattern looks though.

  36. Have a couple of big handfuls from my bag of consolation jelly beans. (sigh) It happens. But you know we cannot leave it like that. Therefore, start over and as in all stressful times, “knit on”. Here’s a cyber hug, too.

  37. I’m laughing discreetly with my hand over my mouth in a kind of hysterical backflash kind of way. I’ve been there before. Grrrrrrr.

  38. he he! everything about that post is great. Ah the irony. . .and all of us have done soemthing similar whether we have 3 or 30 years of knitting experience. Heck, you can do it with other things like cooking and measuring cups. . .not saying I’ve done that or anything. . .

  40. Whoa, I didn’t see that coming! I should have, though – it seems like every time you knock out something great, you get smacked down on the next round. The universe likes balance.

  41. For all the times you have said that you are short – that you ar a small woman – that you are definately NOT large – it never occured to me until now that you are actually an elf. I am knitting a pair of socks for the very first time on a set of US size 1 needles and I can barely see the stitches. You are dropping two sizes down from this and your mittens are coming out too big!!!!!!
    It’s amazing how deceptive it is to look at the photos. Now why- do you suppose, when I hold a needle up to the computer screen to match sizes, I’m holding a size US 3????? LOLOLOLOLOLOL
    Village Idiot is only a relative term, after all.
    Big or small – the mittens are still beautiful!

  42. I don’t know if this will make you feel any better, but I’ve found that for me there’s often a gauge that any given yarn really wants to knit up as, and to convince it otherwise requires going up or down at least 2 needle sizes. So it would have been totally possible to have the same results even if the original needles were 2.25mm.

  43. Well, if it is any consolation, I am about ready to rip back a sock due to an unfortunate guage issue that I remained in denial about to the very end. Socks stretch right? Um, not so much. It is either rip the sock back or knit it a mate and neither of them will fit me.
    And no one else with small feet likes the color I did them in….

  45. Oh man. That really isn’t even funny. I can kind of feel it in the pit of my stomach. Oh man. It hurts.

  46. Having done the same thing myself, I say you deserve some sort of consolation drink, or chocolate or really, both!

  47. There are a few pair of mittens stalking me from within my stash.I’ll have to make a mental needle note for when I start working on them because that so sounds like something I would do…at least they are really pretty and you don’t mind knitting them three times,right?(Yeah,I didn’t think so..)

  49. I have really big hands- man hands in fact, if you don’t want to rip back. I really hate when things like this happen!

  50. LOL! must mop keyboard now. Oh! dear! those nasty knitting rules and their exceptions. don’t they make life interesting?

  51. I’m getting a pretty good idea of what your concluding paragraph would be–not unlike what I would say. Although perhaps you wouldn’t shout epithets directly *at* the mitten.
    This is why I like Takumi needles–they engrave the size in the side of the needle. Extra insurance.

  52. I love you! Don’t understand what blocks commonsense from our brains at times. Happens to me too often with knitting. All your rules are correct; at least, I agree with your rules as I use them myself!

  54. Earlier this year I made a pair of mittens. The first of the mittens I knit using double pointed needles but I found that manipulating the needles and the two colours in the mitten was awkward. For the second mitten I switched to using two circular needles. The knitting with the two colours was so much easier. I compared the two mittens after I finished the pair. The first one is big enough to fit a giant’s hand and the second one fits nicely inside the first like a liner. Instead of going down a needle size, consider switching to circulars.

  55. I can’t say I’d laugh, because I’ve done exactly the same thing before now — and I know how stupid one feels afterwards. In those situations, there’s only one option: Cider.
    (Or, in your case: Beer.) 😉

  57. Ouch. Those are some seriously beautiful mittens. I’ve just taken a class and done fair isle for the first time. What you have knit would be about 5-6 hours of work for me… I think I’d cry.
    Oh, and thank you for the crack… ummm, I mean, link to a new (to me) designer. Hedda’s mittens are beautiful. I love the windmill and dancing ladies!

  58. On the plus side, you have a logical explanation for why this mitten is the same size as the last one. I’m a tight knitter and the thought of knitting anything on 2mm needles makes my hands hurt. The smallest I’ve used are 2.5mm and those are bad enough.
    I’ll second the suggest that a gentle felting might do be the best solution. Just don’t over do it, or you’ll be looking for a knit-worthy little girl to gift them to.

  59. Stephanie dear, you absolutely have no idea how much better you make me feel. When you confess your mistakes it makes me feel like it’s okay that I still do so many stupid things in knitting. Even if the mittens are the wrong size they are still beautiful.

  64. I hate knitting swatches. My mother (one of my many knitting inspirations), always pushes me to do it, but I still don’t and often I end up starting a project 4 or 5 times before I actually get to a point where I’ll finish it.

  66. I’m with the “not-funny but yes-funny” crowd, and really, knitting is sort of like parenting this way. If you can’t laugh at the little-yet-non-life-threatening disasters, you’re just screwed for the long haul.
    Double layer mittens, though, is brilliant. I want some.

  68. Been there.
    I’m in Ohio and I totally would have opted for a liner for them. Screw the stress of gauge, and opt for a set of double-the-warmth mittens for that cold Canadian weather!

  69. Dear Fellow Village Idiot:
    I just want you to know that you are not alone. I too, have done the same thing on many occasions. At least you figured it out……I, on the other hand, continued a lot further before I realized what I was doing wrong……….
    Hang in there!
    Another Village Idiot

  70. Hello Stephanie,
    Well, fiddlesticks – I just wrote this long story and in the middle of previewing it – it got lost in the ether – I tell you there are forces out there that are working against us!!
    I started these mitts too and because, I like you have relatively small hands, I immediately went down a needle size to 2.0mm and started to knit. No, I didn’t swatch – they’re mitts!!!
    I knit along and I knit longer than I should have, cause I could see that they were too big – way too big, but because I went down a needle size, I thought I could lie to myself about the size. But at some point, reality was staring me in the face – they were too big and so I ripped…….
    Now – I figured I’d have to go down a needle size to a 1.75mm. But I would never buy needles in that size, cause I don’t want to knit with anything so small, but I went looking nonetheless, because maybe in some weak moment, I may have just done that. But all I could come up with was a handful of 2.0mm dpns.
    As I sat fingering the handful of 2.0’s while I figured out what I was going to do next, I started to realize that some of them felt like they were different in size from the others. So out came the needle sizer and lo and behold, if some of them, even though they were clearly marked 2.0 mm, were actually closer to 2.25mm and the biggest surprise of all was that my set of Blackthorns that up to this point were still in their virgin state, sized in at 1.75mm. Now I know I ordered 2.0 mm, but here they were at 1.75mm.
    So I am knitting with my Blackthorns, which I love and now want more of. They have just enough flex to make me happy, the stitches move along just fine, but don’t catch or slide.
    I knit for a while and then just for a lark thought I would measure gauge this time – my mitts came in at 10 stitches per inch!!!
    They are just slightly big on me, but following the wool wearer’s guideline of making sure that there is room for an insulating layer of warm air between the wool and my skin will give me the warmth I need. I am NOT going to go hunting for a set of 1.5mm.
    We are being lied to – the needles lie – or the needle sizer lies – I don’t know which it is, and don’t care – I just know we are not being fed the truth!
    I’m calling in the Faerie Godmother of Knitting Darkness @ 1 800 Darkness to eliminate the forces that pervade my knitting. I’ll ask her to put in a good snap of her wand for you too.
    Knit on!!!
    Naomi – aka CrystalBelle

  71. yay sister…I needed that laugh. Third time’s the charm. Ever forgot to do the thumb gusset and wonder why the mitten is hard to put on?

  72. On the upside, at least the rule still holds true! So you do still have a tenuous grasp on a knitting absolute. 🙂

  74. Dear Joe,
    We offer sincere congratulations and felicitations on the occasion of your towering accomplishment. You have successfully mastered the art of telling Steph that she is WRONGWRONGWRONG without enraging her into stabbing you.
    Bravo, and we wish you many more years of happiness.
    The Blog

  76. It is definitely time for an international law regarding knitting needles and pins. There needs to be about 5 colors (remember the old Susan Bates, maybe Boye?). ALL styles of size 2mm will be silver, all 2.25’s will be green, all 2.75’s will be gold, etc. Now, if you pick up a set of what you believe are 2mm dpn’s and they are green, you know right away what you’ve done. Same for circulars. You don’t even need a gauge because your straights have the sizes on their ends. Why is this such a problem for the manufacturers? Tiny sizes are not markable, guys. Color coding, PLEASE!!!

  79. ROFl, thanks I sooo needed that today!! At least you didn’t knit almost an entire dog sweater before realizing that you had used 2 different sizes of needles (whistling casually)…

  80. I kiss you on both cheeks and I laugh in your face. In Michigan gauge goes down one half stitch per needle size, which sounds to me like you would have needed to go down FOUR needle sizes, but hey — you’re Canadian, you’re metric.
    Blinks.
    And once again we get to quote Bonne Marie Burns — “If it seems hinky, it is hinky.”

  84. extremely funny, but really it can’t be all your fault when dpns don’t have the size labelled on them like your regular straight needles do!

  85. I am wishing more with each passing year that needle companies would put the size on the needle in very large numbers !! I squint-magnify but even then I have mistaken a 2 for a 3 or whatever. I would happily pay extra for needles with really, really big number sizes etched into the wood/metal and I am sure I do not stand alone.
    I also like the color idea from above. Smart lady.
    And I thought I was the only one(being from Michigan) that had liners in their handknit mittens as a child(before gortex).

  88. Thank you God…I’m not the only one who does something as daft as this. Nearly had a very unladylike accident as I was laughing so hard..great after the kind of day I just had.
    Love you, and happy reknitting with 1.75 needles!!

  89. I recently had to rip out about 550 yards of sock yarn — not because of a gauge problem (it was a scarf) but because I just didn’t like the way the hand-dyed yarns blended when I joined two supposedly matching skeins. Because I was double-stranding, it was thoroughly twisted together. It took me 8 hours to untwist and reball the two skeins, just so I could reknit in a way that better blended the two skeins. But I’m happy with it now, so it was worth it. I never would have used it had I finished it without the redo.

  90. “…but it lurked at me” – you know, the extraneous mouse in my basement does that and okay, fine, we’ll come to an agreement someday. But I Really Hate when my knitting does that. From the basement.

  92. You poor kid! Foiled again by those pesky needles!
    This reminds me of a story about my sister, who is so the opposite of you it’s hilarious. She was working on a pair of baby booties–using 4 dpn’s–and when I asked her what size needles she was using, she calmly replied, “Mostly two’s, I think.” My brain exploded.

  93. I just knit 8 inches of an alice starmore sweater (In the round! That’s a lot of bobbles!) before coming to terms with the fact that this sweater meant for a 4 year old had a 59″ circumference. In my case is it totally the fault of the filthy lying gauge swatch.

  95. Steph!
    Get out that bathtub again and the beer, bbq potato chips, chocolate AND Baily’s This one calls for the big guns. S@#*!! to be shouted at the needles later…..
    bjr

  96. Steph!
    Get out that bathtub again and the beer, bbq potato chips, dark and light chocolate AND Bailey’s This one calls for the big guns. S@#*!! to be shouted at the needles later…..
    bjr

  97. Dude, painful but a good lesson. When even Joe recognizes the knitting problem it is time to rip.

  98. I’ve long assumed that were there a contest for the most “knit, *rip, reknit* repeat from * to * until done” on a single project I’d be the clear winner. But maybe not 😉 Hope your third try pleases the gods.

  99. It’s a good thing nobody else is home here. Reading your blog and then reading some of the replies (e.g. the thumb gusset one), I just broke out laughing, slapped my thigh and cried out, “Ah! Knitting humour!”
    Somehow I think I’d have been committed if anyone had heard me.

  100. I sympathize on the gauge issue, though my specialty is not reading fine print on patterns and thus choosing a yarn of the wrong weight (usually too thin).
    From curiosity, I jumped over to the pattern listing on Revelry. It’s beautiful–and no disrespect to the designer–but I checked the measurements given on my own hand. (Am just under 5-2, so comparable in height to you) 8″ diameter is about right–but a width of 4″ across the palm is about 3/4″ too wide! The only way to get 4″ is to measure diagonally from pinky to thumb with all fingers spread. Does not compute…Hope you can work it out before the stitch design diminishes to microscopic size:).

  101. Ha…. thank you for reminding me that I’m not the only person who does things like this. I keep saying “I’m a smart girl… really!!”, and since I know YOU’RE a smart girl; it makes me feel better!

  102. It’s never too early for a glass of wine, either!
    Alternatively, I have pretty large hands and am not yet up to color work like that if you’re feeling generous! Or you could frame them and hang them up in your house as knitting art, they really are quite pretty!

  104. Keep knitting, it’s beautiful, and then when you’re done, slip it in a dyebath. That will make it manly colors AND shrink it down to your size!

  105. I wouldn’t have thought to check the first set of needles. I have swatched with different sized needles and gotten the same gauge. And gone down another size to get a much different gauge (and not the one I wanted.) I generally take it as a sign that the yarn doesn’t want to be what I want it to be, and I’ve never won that fight. Wine is frequently helpful at this point, though it’s not terribly respectable too early in the day, like with breakfast.

  106. I feel your pain! Mitten is lovely,though.
    I am wondering how a needle gauge from a yarn shop in Marengo, IL, ended up in your possession, being that you’re a native Canadian with longtime residence in the Toronto area? I am a Chicago-area transplant to Atlanta and had to look twice when I saw Marengo until I was able to match up the 815 area code to memories of the area. Thanks for the reminder of home.

  108. I’m so sorry – can I just LMAO and not even try to be sympathetic. It’s so good to know that the Zen Master of all knitting makes mistakes like I do. And given the way yesterday and today have and are going it made made me laugh.
    Enjoy the weekend everyone!

  109. Lovely story that I’m sure we can all relate to!!! Just be glad you didn’t actually get the thumb on there before stopping. You know you would totally have gone that far. 😀

  110. Argh! I’m swearing here for you in honor of this very frustrating mishap, and I don’t even want to ponder a colorwork mitten on 00 or 000 needles. You have my deepest sympathies.

  111. Harsh reality – but since Toni/The Fold delivered the intelligence, you know it was done with a warm heart. Maybe a wee faint smile, but in a loving way. (LUV The Fold. LUV Toni. My first spinning enabler.)

  112. Your yarn is too thick to get to that gauge. I am in the same situation with a baptismal gown I am trying to make for my niece’s baby. No matter how small the needles, the gauge was always 5 stitches per inch. I need 6 stitches per inch, and cannot compromise that. I finally gave in and ordered finer yarn. You just can’t force it, unless you want the mittens to have the texture of cardboard.
    Bummer.

  113. Well, that wasn’t the solution I drempt up. I have a theory that wool will only go down to a certain gauge and after that gauge, it doesn’t matter what size needles I use, because the wool will not squish anymore. It looks like that is not the case with your dress mittens. How are you with ripping a second time?

  114. Oh my Steph! that was just too funny…. I’m going home to re-organize my needles… just to make sure this doesn’t happen to me.

  115. Yes, I’ve done that. But, using 2.25mm needles the first time and 2 mm needles the second. Same gauge. Funny. But, I always felt my mittens a bit. Not too much, but a bit. The wind here in Wisconsin plus the cold really means either we wear mitten liners (even with two color stranded mittens) or we felt them a bit. Otherwise, it’s almost like wearing nothing on your hands!!

  116. stephanie, thank you for being and for writing about you being. i could go into a long diatribe about why i needed to laugh today but im not gonna feed into that energy any more than i already do. just…thank you. you do know how important a role you fill on this planet, right? (i mean, to the rest of humanity out here who are not your friends, family and loved ones).

  118. PS: Totally unrelated to this post or to my earlier comment, I just got my Knitting Daily email that included your Síofra pattern. Congrats on the new pattern. Very very pretty and I need to find someone with a new baby coming to knit the set for.

  120. I am sitting hear laughing my head off! It sounds just like something I would do. It just goes to show that even experienced crafters do bonehead stuff now and then. BTW, last summer I had a visit from a former pastor and his wife, Canadians. She is an avid knitter and I was telling her about my blog. She said, “But you should read this Canadian blog-this gal is hilarious! It’s called ‘Yarn Harlot.'” I had the pleasure of telling her I’d been reading, laughing, and loving your blog for years.

  122. hey, double mittens are just perfect down here in Chicago too. In fact, I buy these silk glove liners, and wear those inside my mittens.
    That was I only need to dig out the ski gloves on those 0F days.

  123. Dear Village Idiot: I am intensely gratified to know that I am not alone. . . and reading the other posts, I see that I’m not the only one who always looks forward to reading your blog, laughing, sympathizing, and enjoying your full humanity, your grace, and your love of the knitting world. Thank you for sharing. (Also, now I don’t feel quite as slow for thinking my new, environmentally-friendly go coffee cup was useless; my sweetie called me, laughing, and informed me that you screw it on with its invisible threads; you don’t mash it on. Works great when you figure it out, just like knitting challenges!)

  124. Your commentary on daily truths are a beautiful reminder that we’re all in this together 🙂
    My solution to the too big mitten (which happens so often that I now do it on purpose) is that I chuck them in the wash and dryer until it shrinks enough to fit 🙂 and is slightly felted for more winter warmth!

  125. how about felting? I love the pair of colorwork mittens I made and felted… Besides, it covers all your mistakes.

  126. May I quote? (Not you. Anna Zilboorg)
    When you are trying to replicate gauge, especially if you are not using exactly the yarn that the designer used, you can run into difficulty. The primary one is that changing needle sizes is far or apt to change the number of rows per inch that the number of stitches per inch. This makes sense. Basically, in each stitch two strands of yarn are lying side by side. The yarn continues to be the same width no matter how thick or thin the needle is. However, the yarn must go up over the needle and down the other side. If it must go up twice as far and down twice as far, it stands to reason that the resulting stitch will be longer, giving you fewer rows per inch.”
    from The Knitting Anarchist by Anna Zilboorg.
    I don’t know why thousands and thousands of knitters persist in thinking needle size affects stitches per inch. Once I learned that it didn’t, my relationship with gauge became a lot better.
    Oh you can pull on the yarn until it is stretched finer than its “natural” diameter, but who can maintain that kind of pull on a sweater’s worth (or mitten’s worth) of knitting?
    Good luck anyway. Perhaps a change in stitch count is called for? And a beer?

  127. Just so ya know…I have really big hands for a woman. You know those one-size-fits-all driving gloves? They don’t fit me. Those mittens, however…
    And I love the color.

  128. I think this makes me love you just a little bit more. That a knitter so accomplished and well written can make the same silly mistakes humble little New Knitter Me can make. Thanks for admitting, to the entire interwebz, that you are still human.

  129. At least you are so familiar with the cast on and the technique that re-doing this again will go really quickly, once you frog it. Nothing like practice, eh?

  132. Ha ha ha ha ha ha! No, I’m laughing WITH you…really! Seriously, I haven’t even attempted a fussy mitten pattern, so you can sneer at me.

  134. Well…. the GOOD thing is that your rule still applies, and you aren’t crazy. Much better to just be a little wrong than crazy =)

  135. I know how you feel. In my case my fingerless mitts were coming out too small. So I ripped and have to go up a needle size. I couldn’t write about it as well as you though. You make everything seem funny. Maybe someday I’ll think my mistakes are funny. Maybe.

  137. That sounds so very much like something I would have – er, HAVE done. However, I don’t think I did it on a pair of colorwork, small needle anything, so you, um, win? Perhaps for certain very small values of “win?”

  139. How can you go down a needle size and still have the same gauge?
    You know, I was wondering the same thing. It just does not make ANY sense. Uh-Oh . . .
    So, so sorry . . . this really hurts.

  140. There are so many things I am thinking right now — (De Nile ain’t just a river in Eqypt — ripping and redoing means you get more enjoyment from your yarn — always make a swatch — check your needles before starting) — that I think I’ll just suggest some Screech, chocolate and a nice soak in the tub.
    Happy Labour Day weekend!

  142. I want to hear the unwritten or deleted ending so I can add some more colorful words when this happens to me again, and it will. Besides, a lot of needle gauges lie.

  143. Oh no!! So sorry for you dear. Thoes elfs and at it again. They are behind a yarn ball enjoying your outrage. They were at my house this morning. I thought it was me becouse I’ve been sick with a nasty summer cold…..untill I followed the cookie crumbs. Elfs love cookies.

  145. Stephanie,don’t you wish that all needles came with the size etched on them not just some of them.Your mittens are beautiful no matter what size they turn out. catherine

  146. They really are beautiful. And since I’m looking at them over the internet, and can’t really see how big or small they are, I have to say they’re just beautiful.
    Going down a needle size or two should, indeed make them smaller. Even if you had really gone down a needle size, that might not make them ENOUGH smaller, though.
    I keep thinking, though, that the yarn is very fine, and if you get needles that are sufficiently small, at some point using smaller needles shouldn’t get you a finer gauge because you reach a point where the yarn can’t be compressed any more. I’ve never reached that point, though.
    Where can you get DP needles smaller than 2 mm? Knit Picks doesn’t have them. This isn’t a rhetorical question. I’m thinking about the possibility of making socks with lace weight yarn, but I think I’d need needles smaller than the size 0 (2 mm) that Knit Picks has.
    And, by the way, you were absolutely right. Knit Picks nickel DPs are the BEST! Of course, I haven’t gotten up the cash to get some Signature needles.
    Good luck with the mittens!

  147. Now you have written my life. Reminds me of Autobiograpy in Five Short Chapters by Portia Nelson. We have all lived this.

  150. I’ve been reading a book about “Zen” in golf, hoping to improve my game. (We’ll just have to wait and see…..) I started a pair of socks, and the pattern calls for either 48 or 72 stitches – I’m a 60. After tearing them apart for the 3rd time, I’ve found another pattern. Do ya think Zen is working? I’m still smiling (smile, smile, smile) and my yarn is NOT in 2 inch increments yet!!!!!
    So, I have to ask out there in cyber-knit land; is there some formula that ‘might’ be close to decrease (increase) in needle size v.s. stich per inch size?
    I am SO greatful to see that YH is just as dingy as I am, and I am not NEARLY the advanced knitter as she!

  151. As someone who is a beginning knitter, I feel that, yes – the Knitting Goddess(es) feel the need to ding people in strange ways.
    I’m glad I’m not on the Knitting Goddess(es) radar. (Yet. I have a feeling they’d get me sometime soon…and it will involve gauge and not swatching, because I’m a lazy knitter.)
    Have a beer and some chocolate while you try to deal with they latest blow! (I’m going to cast on for some delicious fingerless gloves…)

  152. “Unladylike language” is the gentlest term I could use for what I’d be spewing after an incident like this. In place of such an unprintable mess, though, let me just offer a single four-letter word: FELT!

  153. You’re NOT the village idiot. I am convinced that metal needles over time change sizes on us…. I can look at a circular needle that says 2.5 mm… put it into my gauge and it fits in the 2 mm slot… i take brand new 2.5mm circ and it fits in the 2.5 mm slot.

  154. Here I was going to ramble on about how sometimes it’s impossible to squash your stitches smaller no matter how much you cram them when the obvious answer was right there all along. Occam’s razor FTW.
    As for the eggplant, I suggest caponata. Cube your eggplant fairly small, sautee it in olive oil, toss in some thinly sliced celery, onion and garlic, a chopped tomato and some chopped capers and green olives. Some people also add chopped red bell pepper to this. Season with salt, pepper, vinegar and a little sugar and simmer about 15 min.
    Great on pasta, crackers, as part of an antipasto and eaten off the spoon. Can be frozen.

  158. I’d say you could wear the mittens as a shell outside of a pair of gloves. That way, if you need your fingers for something, just pull off the mittens, but you can still keep your hands warm. I live in southern Arizona, so all of this is foreign to me, but I have possibly laid awake at night fantasizing about knitting while living in a colder climate. I could actually use the stuff. ^_~

  160. You are NOT the Village Idiot! You were making those mittens for someone else with really big hands!
    Kharma knew!
    Love,
    Gina

  161. Ok..I honestly didn’t see that ending coming. Sorry you had the be the brunt of a good laugh but I needed that one.
    We all have no doubt they will be Mittens-of-Loveliness when they’re finished.

  165. The Wednesday Chef blog has a good recipe to deal with the eggplant, it is a few entries before the current one, it looked good but I haven’t tried it yet.
    There are 1.75 mm needles! Who’d a thunk it.
    I was indignant when reading an EZ book she put forward the idea that gauges that you poke the needle through (like mine) can enlarge with use. Here I am, stymied again.

  166. oh please please please don’t have ripped the mitten back yet. i would do anything to own them. they are exactly the right level of femininity for my type of manliness, which is not that manly.
    *sigh* it’s too late isnt it?

  167. Love it. I was just thinking to myself…”I wonder if the first pair were not the size she thought they were” and then there was your brilliant punchline/picture. Love it. Having a beer in your honor!

  170. DELICIOUS EGGPLANT: (Oops, reading your tweets)
    I got this recipe from a friend years ago and even my non eggplant eating sons like it:
    1/2 cup raisins
    1/2 cup dried apricots
    Sherry/Juice – Soak the above in this
    Diced eggplant (1 average)
    2 onions, diced
    4 tomatoes, sliced
    1/4 cup olive oil
    2 tbsp lemon juice
    Cumin – 1 tsp
    salt and pepper
    allspice – 1/2 tsp
    Cayenne to taste.
    Combine it all in a casserole. Bake 40 minutes at 350 degrees and serve over prepared couscous

  173. I recently started a new project that was supposed to get 8 stitches to the inch (sorry, I’m a Yankee) on size 8 needles (again: Yank). I reasoned, I knit loosely, I’d better go with a 6. I knit my swatch and was getting 10 stitches to the inch. Switched up to a 7, and then an 8. Each time, I got a tiny bit bigger, but even on the 8 I was getting about 9.5 stitches to the inch. That’s when I said “Screw it,” and decided to knit it for the size that I am, and not the size that I wish I were and just took it all up a size in the directions. (That will work out for me, right? This thing will fit, and not be freakishly large or disappointingly/pornographically snug, right? Right?)

  174. Doesn’t that call for pretty much a whole BOX of Godiva Chocolates? That would be my solution. I might also brandish about the 2mm needles threateningly… It MUST be someone else’s fault after all. Yeah, someone was messing with your needles!

  176. How cool is that? Your yarn gauge is from my LYS, the Fold! But I AM truly sorry about the ripping in your near future….

  179. Yes, Steph, the knitting gods have yet again found a way to *fool* around with you. In Colorado we have a saying: “The mountains don’t care.” Don’t care if you’re experienced or not, or whether you ALWAYS pack an emergency foil blanket and it’s only this time that you didn’t, or if there DEFINITELY, ABSOLUTELY was NO SNOW in the forecast when you set out.
    The knitting gods don’t care, either, but their sense of humor is infinitely more gentle … and that’s why I hike up to just about treeline and then come down and sit by the fire and knit. =D

  180. You are excellent at foreshadowing…I started wondering about needle sizes way up at the top! I even wondered if they were both 2.25 or 2.0 as you measured the first one.
    I’ve done that, too, Steph!

  181. Don’t take it too hard Steph. Yesterday you finished the most fantastic socks I’ve seen in a long while. After those socks, ya gotta expect that the knitting gods are gonna feel the need to smack you down. The KG’s probably thought you got off easy with the socks so they’re making you earn the mittens. It’s just how they roll.

  182. Too funny 🙂
    Ever measured your dpns with calipers to the thousandth/inch? That’s a *real* smack round the head event… Don’t change between Inox/sna and kp mid project – ask me how I know…

  183. if it makes you feel any better i always knit the first mitten too small. the whole thing. every time. then i rip it out and knit a bigger one. i never learn.

  184. I’m still laughing and I just can’t quite stop. I can’t help it. I would do the exact same thing if I ever got up the nerve to use a dpn. I like the fact that my regular straight needles ALWAYS have the size printed on the end. Living in Michigan, I understand the need for the undermitten. I do that, but I use a pair of gloves under the mitten. Sometimes, it’s just better to have 2 layers.

  185. This is why I tend to avoid projects in which gauge matters! I probably just would have turned it into a leg warmer.

  188. Knitting does that to me all the time. Just when I think I’m starting to figured out, it kicks me in the butt! That sucks! Even if I swatch, which I do probably 75% of the time, that can happen. I’ve had the gauge that the pattern calls for and still had to rip it all out because it came out too big or small. The worst part for me is that I’m such a slow knitter. It takes me forever to get that much knitting done and to have to rip it all out again would definitely make me cry. I’ve seen you knit in person before and it’s amazing how fast you can knit. You’re scary fast. So fast it gives me a complex. On the other hand, least you know that the pattern and yarn are lovely and that’s working well. I’m looking forward to finding out the solution to the problem because I would like to make those and you could potentially save me from committing Knitting Harikiri. The fact that knitting does this to you too definitely gives me hope. Thanks for letting me know that it’s just not me!!!!

  189. Response to your Twitter: Eggplant! I love eggplant; husband hates it. I have spent years trying various recipes to convince him it is delicious. The winner so far? My mom’s eggplant dish. Peel the skin off the eggplant then dice it up. Put it in water and simmer it until it turns soft. Drain it. Then you mix it with cut up onions and shredded cheese. Put it in a casserole dish. Dot the top of it with butter and cracker crumbs and bake.
    Working on my second (woo hoo!) pair of socks ever. And I’ve started a sweater for my son and it seems to be going well. Granted, I probably just jinxed it.
    Thanks for the laughs and the inspiration.

  190. Oh dear. Not that it’s any consolation but they were very, very pretty mittens. I hope you can stand finding an actually smaller needle and knitting them again.

  191. Well, you’re making me want to knit some pretty mittens. I’ve been wearing my lopi mittens for a few years now and while they are the warmest things I’ve had on my hands, they’re very homely. Yeah, I need to knit me some pretty mittens.
    By the way… sorry that knitting is mocking you so badly. That’s just not nice.

  192. My most recent knitting disaster is on the Inversion Gansey. I couldn’t seem to get the bits near the markers in the lace to come out right without fiddling, but overall the sweater came out OK enough that I made it through to the waist. Only in the setup for the bodice section did I realize I had placed the side marker in the wrong place on the first row: I’d counted out for a different size than I’m knitting. A first and, I hope, a last for that mistake! Big sigh. Rip, rip, rip. Knitting friend gets a nice laugh out of it. It’s going much, much better the second time around.

  196. Been there, done that. Too many times. The only possible answer is a large (very large) gin-and-tonic …..and then rippit!

  197. Negative self talk is something to be discouraged, but…
    Wow. It really sucks to be you right now.
    Sorry.
    If you ever do make those mittens, they are going to be FABULOUS!!
    A lining would still be nice.

  198. I think you should pat yourself on the back for thinking of checking the size of the first needles, it would have taken me a lot longer to come to that conclusion.

  199. At least you didn’t do what I once did, which is to deliberately select a size *larger* needles, apparently convinced in a moment of bass-awkwards insanity that it would make the work smaller.
    Honest mistake, could have happened to anyone!

  200. needles, they’re tricky buggers. also add me to the lemmings who have purchased this beautiful pattern! last Christmas was socks for everyone, this year mittens (shhhh!).

  201. Write the needle manufacturer, and tell them about their mislabled/packaged knitting needles, tell them about the time you wasted in gauge correction, and then demand free needles (hey, it could work!) in compensation.

  202. You are amoung friends. I feel your pain.
    I love your column and look forward to seeing you in New York at Vogue Knitting Live!!
    Janice, London, Ontario

  203. I just fininshed my very first, abeit simple, pair of wool mittens. It just made my day, knowing you are the Queen of Knitting, I laughed aloud. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

  204. Don’t you just hate that?
    I knit swatches for this sweater. I have 10 of them… various cable combinations and such while I was working out the pattern choices for this aran sweater. I’ve started it 11 times, 6 of those for gauge issues (the rest because no matter how I did it, the center panel was WRONG WRONG WRONG)… and now I find that the wool is NOT all the same color cream, and while I have 14 inches of sweater, it’s really in 2 colors.
    I don’t care (except when I see it in sunlight).
    I’m not ripping it back again.
    I’m going to dye it brown… –DARK brown– when it’s done. At least now, however, it’ll fit my 14 year old (unless he grows a lot more between now and Christmas).

  205. Well, THERE’S your problem! It’s a “Made in USA” gauge. 2.0 in USA gauges make everything too big, something to do with more gravity = a denser hole in the gauge.

  206. Ah, yes…this is yet more of my life, written down better and sent off to the world! I thank you for that because I have to delete the entire thing usually -not just the final paragraph! Your swatching issues are so like mine…are we in some way related?
    Anyhoo, very quietly rip back, remake and then tell everyone that when you washed them they came out just as you said they were –smaller. So, it isn’t quite true –at least they will wonder.

  209. Doesn’t it suck that glaring at the yarn doesn’t make it tremble into submission? Cursing the day the sheep that brought it into existence was born, the company that manufactured it was allowed to thrive and sell that yarn… that the needle company was allowed to even sell that blasted gauge? and that pattern!!! That your fingers have an itch to even knit seems an abomination…and yet tomorrow, or today, or whenever you pick it up, rip it back and like a humbled catholic school girl begin again. Goodluck on the third attempt.

  210. Don’t you love getting the gauge crap out of the way so that now you can knit perfect “dressy” mittens from here on out?

  212. So, the knitting rules still hold? Changing needle size changes the gauge of the knitting and guages are still a low down dirty rotten liars! Thought so.
    I’m also knitting a pair of mittens and I graphed a design with the gauge of 8 to the inch, which I thought I was knitting at, but when I test knit the design turns out I knit 10 to the inch, grr, I thought the design was coming out funny. Change the graph or change the needle? I’m thinking after reading this I might redesign the darn thing.

  213. Welcome to my world. I’ve been blaming it on my trifocals – the printing on a size 1 US needle is always too small to see, and I always THINK I’ve sorted the needles into their carefully labeled packets….

  214. Oh, oh, oh! I have laughed hard at many of your posts (the truck parking incident outside your inlaws comes to mind) but this one had me seriously laughing out loud. I LOVE how you tell a story, even one with a “tragic” ending, as in this case. Oh my…

  215. If it makes you feel any better I’m doing the same song and dance routine in reverse. It’s not too small…the person its for has teeny hands, my hands are just freakishly large. Good luck!

  218. Wow, been awhile since I’ve been here! The mitten looks beautiful, even if it is large. All the while I was reading it, I was thinking maybe you were using the same sized needles as you originally did, but was thinking they were the bigger size, not both as the smaller size. I feel your pain though.

  219. OMG, seriously that made me laugh so hard and I scared my cat away. That has soooo happened to me! Sheesh!

  221. I’m sorry but thank you for the laugh.
    One time I was swatching for a sweater and after knitting about 2 feet in different sizes I realized the reason I wasn’t getting any closer to gauge was because I was going up in needle sizes and I needed to go down 1, just one, from what I had started with. We all mess up needle sizes

  222. Just in case anyone is wondering why some very skilled (in terms of stitches and colorwork) knitters stick to scarves, afghans and rugs – reread Steph’s post.

  223. I love the yarn you are using too and have several skeins of it. I find it knits up at a higher (larger) guage than most fingering weight wools. That being said it does make great socks and colorwork. Looks, smells and acts like real wool and is a joy to knit with….and the price, well what can I say….:)

  225. Thank you for assuring me that I’m not crazy–that those identical internal dialogues happen in other people’s heads, too. Great post.

  226. Does it help to know how much we appreciate your fine writing style, and how you express yourself about your knitting? Meanwhile, you have my sympathies. Totally a common mistake I am sure.

  227. It never ceases to amaze me how this kind of thing repeats itself from time to time. I knit fancy lace shawls without a pattern and then I blatantly ignore the fact that the simple stst and garter cardigan that I am knitting is probably going to have a bust measurement 8 inches bigger than planned. I knit the 2 fronts and the back before I clued in and had to rip it all out.
    I think it’s just that we really want to like getting on with our knitting, simple as that.

  228. because of your candor and your ability to laugh at yourself, i have been able to let go of my need to knit perfectly all the time or not knit at all. thank you.

  230. Thank you for the much needed bout of laughter! I love your ability to laugh at yourself and then share it with the world.

  231. Well heck… ~burst of laughter~ I’m so sorry dear Harlot, but wow, that is the stuff classic stories are made of! Thanks for the giggles 🙂

  232. Two thoughts on gauge (And I’m calling in the pros here):
    The first harkens back to the ELIZABETH ZIMMERMAN experiment where she knit a sock with four different sized needles and still got consistent gauge throughout. She posited that our hands intuitively know how to tighten up or loosen up while knitting. I find that my hands want the gauge on a given yarn to be the gauge they want it to be and will adjust the tension on their own, paying no attention to my brain, no matter what needle size I use. That is why I can knit a gauge swatch with size 6 and another with size 9 and still get the same gauge. In the incrementally small realm of sock needles, forget it. Different size needles make no difference to my hands. I might as well knit with four different sizes like EZ.
    Thought two:
    ANNA ZILBOORG told me (at a Stitches convention, and yes, she’s absolutely as nice as you imagine her to be, by the way) that it’s really the yarn that determines the gauge much more than the needle diameter. It made sense the way she explained it. The diameter of the needle determines the HEIGHT of the stitch more than it determines the WIDTH of the stitch.
    What??!!??!! I know, I know, but bear with me. YOU ARE ABOUT TO WRAP YOU HEAD AROUND SOMETHING ASTOUNDING.
    If you look a knit stitch in a swatch, the width of the stitch is determined by its two vertical legs standing side by side with each other. Now they could be giving each other a lot of personal space or a little personal space depending on how tightly or loosely one knits but the personal space is within a fairly limited range. Anna said that all the diameter of the needle contributes is how TALL (Height) the stitch will be. Yes, the yarn goes AROUND (Width) the needle while you are knitting, fooling you into thinking that the width of the stitch will be the same as the width of the solid needle. But if that were true, the two legs of a stitch wouldn’t touch at all in a swatch. The stiches would look like bubbles instead of “V”s. But yarn isn’t stiff and doesn’t stay the width of the needle. (The exception might be wire which IS stiff and actually could be useful in demonstrating the point if you knit it and legs stayed not touching and then stretched it so that the legs touched.) No, yarn is flexible and after the stitch is made and is standing side by side with its friends its legs don’t stay that same needle diameter distance apart. The stitch folds over at the top, its legs touching, and stands as tall as half the amount of yarn that you wrapped around the needle. This just makes so much sense to me. It’s not me! IT’S THE YARN!!!
    My solution has been to just knit a swatch with the needle size that the yarn seems to call for, take the gauge, then adjust or adapt the pattern. Or make my own pattern. Yes, this involves math and even a calculator quite often but my brain likes it that I include it in the process.
    Those are darn pretty mittens by the way.

  234. Ha…. Welcome to my world! I’m a big fan of, “it will all work out”…. in lieu of swatching, I begin the pattern with great hope and excitement and then keep telling myself that it will be an appropriate size and shape. Sometimes it actually works. Other times I have to adjust the pattern as I go along. Then there’s the part where the needle of one size ends up the the slot for a needle of a similar (but not correct) size and I don’t notice until it’s too late. Good of you to share your experience so we don’t all feel alone out here with these issues…

  236. We have a club for knitting village idiots, and I have been a longstanding member. I hereby extend an invitation to you.
    The Founding Member

  237. How come everytime I think of this post weird and wonderful sounds come out of my nose and mouth, sounding almost like a stifled laugh. That’s just wicked!

  238. Ha – another founding member of knitting idiots here! And could you put in a quick word for the work of MSD/KWB and need for help with the Pakistan flood? Any amount would really help out! Thanks

  239. Maybe the knitting gods are very quietly suggesting some trouble free work on the Big Manly Sweater….quickly ducking for cover, from hurled objects !!!!!!

  240. I’m so glad other people do this. I just knit a very boring sleeve without realising I didn’t change up a needle size after the ribbing. It looked too small at the time but…I ignored that.

  241. you know what happened……you got so impressed with yourself for knitting a sock in a day that the Knitting Godess had to smack you down…….it’s ok girl happens to ALL of us. I swear I knit the biggest cuff to a pair of socks the other day….(rip it rip it went the little frog) and then today started over and I’ll be damned if they aren’t just fine. Lovely ladylike langauge came out of my mouth. All about how much I loved the yarn and needles. lol get you a beer and a shot of something strong it’ll all be ok in the a.m.

  243. Wait! Don’t stop knitting! I’m quite definitely a girl AND I have freakishly large hands. 🙂

  244. SPEAKING OF EGGPLANT…
    CUT EGGPLANT IN 1/2” SLICES, BASTE WITH OLIVE OIL, BAKE AT 350 FOR ABOUT 45 MINS TAKE OUT OF OVEN, ADD 1/2” SLICE OF TOMATO TO TOP OF EACH SLICE OF EGGPLANT, RETURN TO OVEN FOR 15 MINS. TAKE OUT OF OVEN ADD SPRINKLE WITH PARMESAN CHEESE, BROIL A COUPLE OF MINS. ‘TIL CHEESE MELTS. JUST WONDERFUL SERVED WITH A BEER.
    YOUR MITTS ARE TRULY LOVELY.

  247. OF COURSE the two sets of needles HAD to be sneaky and be the same damn size! Even though they were clearly marked otherwise! Lol, that’s how yarn reminds us that although we humans may have opposable thumbs, we are still not as high on the food chain as we think we are. My yarn breaks all the knitting rules too, so much so that I have given up making gauge swatches entirely as I have determined that they are evil liars and completely unreliable. Whenever I swatch….disaster. As in Big Ugly In-Your-Face Disaster. But when I just take a wild guess at which needles to use and tear into the yarn randomly….success! It defies all logic and reason, but there it is. I find that Yarn Rebellion is often the culprit in cases such as these. Perhaps your yarn is trying to tell you it doesn’t want to be made into mittens? Sneaky….very sneaky….

  248. Oh I love how you get inside my head and say just what I am thinking! Of course you say it so much better. I just ripped out 2 LARGE sweaters and a hat, totally completed, and sitting in a bag for years, denile is not just a river in Egypt!

  250. Why rip them out? I’m sure there is a Drag Queen nearby who would take those off your hands (so-to -speak) !

  253. I do this all the time. Just remember, you were smart enough to create a cookie-baking army. I am in complete agreement that COOKIES suddenly allow the first dozen years of motherhood to make sense. Off too buy more sugar and butter…..maybe our kids can exchange recipes. One of mine put almond extract (and sea salt) in the brownies the other night because SOMEONE had inhaled all of the vanilla vodka. I ate the entire pan, but blamed it on her sister. The joys of parenthood are never-ending….

  256. Fingerless mitten-tops. For that not-so-cold-you-need-double-mittens but it’s still cold enough you need something a bit more over your other mittens. They look wind-proof, perfect for walking in the sun in winter, and you can tuck your fingers back under the cover inside your other mittens when they’re too cold and stretch them out in the warmth of your other mittens when you’re warming up, and don’t have to yet switch mittens back and forth depending on what this particular half-hour is like… 🙂

  257. Glad I’m not the only village idiot : ) Self denial is easier “done than said” (hee hee). We live….we learn…

  258. I love you. Not in the way most people might think. But because you make me feel normal. You are funny and normal. This is great.

  259. Hi Steph!
    OMG! Don’t worry about it, I’ve been knitting forever and have ripped out my work so many times it would make your head spin! It’s probably due to my tendency (that’s a way of putting it mildly) to just forge ahead without swatching, even sometimes when I machine knit (which, as everyone knows, is a recipe for disaster…) So, welcome to the happy go-lucky club of adventurous, throw caution to the wind creative knitters!!! That’s why I love knitting sooo much, when you goof up, you can just unravel and start again! You can’t do that with sewing… 🙂
    Now, go have a drink!

  260. Yep. Just finishing a pair of ruffled, bright pink socks MEANT for my 8 year old daughter, but, forgetting to change needles, they fit me.
    Now I have to buy an entirely new wardrobe to match.

  261. So, if you have enough yarn — make it into a cute flat bag/purse to match with the ensuing pair of mittens!

  262. I couldn’t tell if those were wooden or bamboo needles, but someone gifted me bamboo needles, and living in the moist area of north western California, my needles expanded a size. I was so surprised when I used the needle size gadget, and that’s the only explanation I can come up with. I wonder if they go down a size when everything is very dry?

  263. Have you ever knit with two different sized needles? I meant to switch from US7 to US8 and somehow only swapped one of the needles. So there I was, trying to figure out why every other row was so hard to knit into, and turning out a very odd looking dish cloth.
    I was so mad at myself when I realized what I’d done. I’m now a big fan of needles from the same company and same line having different colors for different sizes.

  264. Oh dear lord, I’m right there with you.
    When your row gauge is fine, but your width gauge isn’t, don’t be surprised when that cute little origami moment heel grafting thing renders your socks too damn small to go over your instep.
    I never knit socks with anything less than 2.75mm, and the two times I have, it’s ended badly. This is time number two. NO MORE.

  265. Poor Stephanie! I have to tell you that, not only are you not alone, as all these other friends of yours have said, but that many of us suffer the same problems (albeit not with knitting needles) at work too. Life can take revenge at the oddest moments!

  266. Um . . . the first mitten I ever made had a thumb large enough to warm a certain part of male anatomy. I adjusted the pattern, knit the mate, and, well, its thumb was still large enough to warm a certain part of male anatomy. The mittens were for my sweetheart, who is male, but he has only one of that part of anatomy the mittens’ thumbs could fit. I performed what we now refer to as “the circumcision” on both thumbs, and my sweetheart wore the mittens and only made jokes about them a few times at my expense. Another adjustment to the pattern, just in case I would ever use it again.
    Fast forward a winter or two, and I pull out the pattern, knit up another mitten, and, well, let’s just say I clearly have a problem knitting thumbs. Either that or I have another problem altogether, but we won’t go there. 😉

  267. Did any other Midwesterners immediately think “a whole nother” when reading the title?
    Great post!

  268. OMG I laughed out loud! So very glad I’m not the only one to have ever done that….which is why I now carry a needle guide with me at all times. Weird? Yes. Do I care? No.

  270. Ok, so I admit I laughed, I may even have howled. ….. BUT
    1st of all – I have never knit something so small that this would prove such a difficulty/importance
    2nd of all – Can’t you turn them into top down Socks???
    ok ok ok ok ok – Still it makes me laugh – and I will remember it when my current project Just Doesn’t Quite Work Right.
    Thanks, you are an inspiration! Knitting = Life, right!?!

  272. I’m just impressed you got 8 st/in in the first place. I can’t even imagine 10 st/in. Even on 2mm/US 0 needles, the best I can do is 7. I know I should go down to a 1.75 mm/US 00, but my mind balks at how tiny they are and I can’t seem to push past it yet. I just adjust all my sock patterns for a different gauge. The mittens look beautiful though. Way to go!

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