Tomorrow, Amanda leaves for Austria with her orchestra. I’m losing it. I have to tell you that every mothering instinct I have tells me that taking a 15 year old girl to the airport, kissing her goodbye and watching her get on a plane to another continent is insane. Completely batty. A few loops shy of a cast on edge…if ya catch my meaning. I’ve washed her clothes and taught her how to convert Euros to dollars, I’ve cautioned her about taking her money out in public and bought extra strings for her violin. I’ve told her everything to be careful about that I can think of and then I’ve told her (once I have her good and neurotic..) to not worry and to relax (carefully) and have fun. (I think Amanda feels that I may be a bit of a paradox at the moment.) We live in the city and I keep a close eye on my teenagers. I know where they are, what they are doing and who they are with. I know all. I see all. How then is it that this kind of completely fretting and bothersome mother suddenly hauls off and sends the kid to freaking Europe for two weeks? How I ask you? How?
I’m a little worried that I may have some kind of involuntary spasm of over-controlling parenting at the airport and find myself unable to let her out of the car. Worse than that…I think Amanda would be strangely relieved. She’s nervous. I’m nervous. What are we doing? What kind of a mother won’t let a kid date but sends her to Vienna? What sort of mother tells the kid “No bloody way” to a 10 o’clock movie but says “Vienna? Cracow? Sure sweetie, let me help you pack.” I’m out of my mind, and I’m only getting weirder as the flight time approaches. I think that Joe’s starting to think about taking me down with a sedative blowdart like something out of wild kingdom.
In between running around yesterday to get everything my 15 year old daughter will need while she is in Europe and not at home with me where I know what’s going on…(sorry. It’s so hard to let go) I spun up the singles from Laurie’s roving.
I won’t tell you how to spin singles. There’s tons of information out there. (This site is amazingly helpful…they have film clips of how to do this stuff) I can tell you what I do differently for sock yarn, or what I do that I think might be unique or helpful.
Since I have the roving pre-drafted nicely before I start spinning, I get to go pretty quick through the pile of roving goodness. Socks get a lot of wear so I want the yarn to be durable. To this end, I try to put a little more twist in than I usually would. (Not so much that it’s going to lose it’s softness though…it’s a fine line and only experience can tell you where it is.)
Also, because I want the yarn to be very smooth, I hold back the twist with my right hand (the hand pinching…) and pull back with my left to control the amount of fibres being allowed into the twist at once, then slide my right (pinching) hand along to smooth the fibres and bring the twist. If I don’t pinch, the twist travels into the drafting zone and my yarn is furrier.
In this picture you can really see the drafting zone. It’s the fan of fibres in between my right hand (holding back the twist) and the left (pulling the roving back to thin the fibres.) My right hand is firm and my left is loose. If I don’t keep it loose the roving bunches in my hand. Loosey goosey, barely touching. Note that this doesn’t work if you weren’t completely obsessive and anal retentive to the point of madness, cautious with your pre-drafting.
At some point in the very beginning of the spinning I stop, pull a length of singles back toward me and wrap it around my fingers like this.
Then I let go and let the three plies twist around each other. Doing this gives me a pretty good idea of how my navajo plied (which is three plies) yarn will look. I see if I’m putting too much (spinning “wire”) or not enough (spinning something that’s going to drift apart in the plying). I also give it a think in terms of thickness. Do I need to beef up the singles? Thin ’em out?
A smarter spinner than me would put this little sample nearby so that they could repeat this process a couple of times during the spinning so that they could have a little something called “consistency”. Me? My middle name is danger. I do no such thing.
If I like everything I see I carry on.
You can see in this picture that I have a white cloth on my lap. This is a modification that I use…I have two spinning cloths, one white and one black. I use the lap cloth that contrasts my fibre because I don’t see well. Someone suggested it to me early on and it’s helped enormously. (Really Steph? Seeing what you’re spinning has improved results?) The blue fibres I’m spinning here would be nearly impossible for me to see against my jeans.
Generally speaking I use the long draw method of spinning, moving my fibre supply hand (my left) back away from the wheel in a long smooth arc. You can’t see it, but a thread of yarn connects my hand to the wheel, because I’m spinning sock yarn you can see that pinching/smoothing right hand following. If the fibre was crap (or if you skipped the pre-drafting) I wouldn’t use the long draw. How far my hands are from the spinning wheel is a testament to Laurie’s skills. Also a testament is the fact that I was just going to sit down and spin for a little while, but the roving is so beautiful and easy to spin that I just kept going until I was done. Today I have the most wicked case of spinners limp. It’s not likely to improve either…since the urge to navajo ply it is overwhelming. (I’d rather not discuss the fact that I am apparently undeterred by physical pain and disability. Joe pointed out that even lab rats eventually learn that trying to get treats isn’t worth it if pain results from the attempt. I have nothing to say to him.)
Search for spring (Attempt 2)
There is absolutely no naturally occurring spring here. I’m not going to depress you with pictures. It was -27 with the windchill the other night. I was seriously thinking about Belize again when I trudged through the falling snow to Lettuce Knit the other night. When I arrived, there was a package for me! Lynne sent me some spring!
Among other things…Lynne tucked in these lovely springtime rovings. She’s right too…I do feel better. I could suggest of course, that the reason that I feel better is because me and my stitch and bitch buddies hoovered the entire package of Aussie cookies that she sent before they even hit the table.
Tim Tams (not to be confused with the Newfie “jim jams”) are darned good. There was some talk of “Slammin a Tim tam” (cell phone calls were made, details were gathered…Canadian common sense prevailed and we just ate them rather than risking some sort of Australian cookie daring-do that could endanger the cookies.
Thanks Lynne, for restoring my faith in spring.
Tune in Monday when we discover if I made a scene in the Airport, if Amanda made a scene in the airport, if I have managed to lay off the spinning enough to regain full use of my right leg and to see navajo plied yarn.
I think my son will be going on a trip to Washington, D.C. next year with his school orchestra? Guess who can’t let him out of her sight (nerves) and will be chaperoning?
All I know is that I’d worry if he was away, out of state, without me, but that I’m bloody insane to escort a bunch of pre-adolescents on a field trip without THEIR parents.
I’ll probably need lots of Tim Tams to get through that experience. Please send instructions on where to purchase ’em. 🙂
P.S. Excuse the bad punctuation above. The grammar avengers will have a field day with that post!
Ah, such is the nature of mothers and children. They go, you worry, they have a great time, but miss you terribly – justice. I am not a mom, so have no idea what you’re feeling, but my mom has given me the what-for on this particular topic on more than one occassion. I’m sure Amanda is an awesome kid (how could she not be) and will be fine while on her European adventure, while you will also be fine stuck at home worrying. Just use your knitting and spinning as a distraction while she’s gone and you will keep yourself busy and productive so you can’t fret quite as much (just in those random moments when you get so involved that you momentarily forget to worry). Your spinning is beautiful and you’ve motivated me to learn to spin. I just need to find someone in my neck of the woods that can teach me. Want to move to Wyoming?
Yay spinning! I just picked up the first fleece I’d ever gotten (note that I didn’t say “purchased”, just the stuff I had actually gotten my hands on…while others were shipping in the mail) and scoured at my friends house. It’s dreeeeaaaammmmyyyy. I had such fun carding last night, and can’t wait to get spinning this weekend. Yay fiber!
I’m also wondering what kind of wheel you have? I’ve been wondering for a while. But the Action!Harlot shots have me wondering in public now.
There is little doubt that you will make a scene at the airport. What mother wouldn’t (that from someone who has no children but I did have a mother).
I’m wishing for spring for you and winter for us (well a little winter anyway).
Don`t worry about your little girl – Austria is one of the safest countries in Europe. I would be worried if it was Poland or Slovakia or even Germany.
I’ll tell you what kind of a mother lets her teenager go to Europe (not completly alone since there’ll be other teenagers and supervising adults…) and not to a 10 o’clock movie: a mother that cares for her children and that also has their personal/cultural/intellectual growth well in mind! Sure you’ll be worried, and nervous, and it’ll cost you an arm and a leg in phone bills, but your daugther will come out of this experience with a broader view of the world… My parents did exactly that with me and I turned out alright (I hope so, anyways!). But then again, I’m quite sure you already know all of this…
And now… I REALLY want to learn how to spin! Crap!
A Martian reading this post would reasonably assume that Amanda was going to go to Vienna, be in Vienna, get home, all by her fifteen year old self. And yet I doubt that this is so. My guess is that a group including adults is involved.
You will not make a scene at the airport. You will tear up just enough (pride, of course, not fear) that she will be afraid you’re going to embarrass her, which in turn will get her moving toward the gate despite her reasonable nerves-at-doing-something-big-for-the-first-time. You will holler “Don’t forget to bring back chocolate!”
You will then go home and get shit-faced. Aren’t any good bands playing that night?
Hang in there, babe.
Hello, girl from Belize here – lives in NYC. I’m impressed, someone who actually knows where Belize is, but then, Steph, you are Canadian!!
🙂
Your baby girl will be fine. Make sure you give her strict instructions to bring home dark chocolate. The yarn is beautiful as always.
Ooohhh…will you be showing how you do navajo plying???
I was going to take a class, but the only person I know around here teaching it is probably the most negative person I’ve ever met. She’s an expert and knows her stuff, but tell her ANY “happy story” of any kind, or even something neutral and she will turn it into something negative. If you’ve ever seen “Debbie Downer” on Saturday Night Live…this woman would make Debbie a ray of sunshine. I don’t think I can handle that through a class with sharp and pointy things within reach, lol…
Yeah, hang in there. You can’t help but worry, even when your kids are (just barely) adults -like mine. My daughter left for A YEAR in Japan when she was sixteen. I thought I would die. Now she’s in China and my son’s in Germany. Amanda will thank you for letting her have this opportunity and she will be so happy to come home. Believe it!
Ahhh, I remember. I have 8 grandkids now from grown children & I worry about them! But, a hint that worked for me. Instead of the instructions everytime the kids left the house(you can’t tempt fate by not “reminding” them)and them being disgusted to hear it again,I numbered the lectures! As they prepared to go out the door, I would call out “Number 2,503!” and they would grin and I could rest easy having reminded them, to be careful, don’t talk to strangers, etc., etc., etc.
I understand your worry but you are doing a great thing letting your daughter travel, it makes the world a smaller place for them and ultimately for you. My eldest daugter traveled to Iceland when she was 13, Amerstadam at 14 and Prague/Budapest at 15 with her school. This year at 16 it is Thailand/Cambodia (land mines, yup, talk about worried, and now bird flu!). My younger did her first trip to Barcelona last week. They come back even more interesting than when they left! Good luck!
It’s a practice run for the many adventures yet to unfold in your girls’ lives.
It will turn out fine. My 17 y.o. granddaughter made an 18-day trip to Australia last summer with People to People. It’s amazing how much they learn, but you don’t know they know, until they do just fine.
I had to let my 17yo go off to Ireland with her high school band last year. I’m thoroughly convinced that the only thing which keeps planes in the air is worry. If you don’t worry enough, heaven only knows what might happen. The good news is that I’ve now worried enough to keep all flights in the air for the next three years, so your kid will be fine. You, on the other hand, are entitled to be a nervous wreck. We all thought we’d sleep again once our children got out of babyhood, but we didn’t anticipate having teenagers. Sigh.
I love the action shots.
I’m sure your daughter will be fine in Austria. And I’m sure she’ll be received home again with open arms, unless she forgets the chocolate.
I second Deborah and Sharon. You are doing a wonderful thing for Amanda’s personal growth and her future. I credit my teenage (and later) experiences with overseas travel for blowing my little midwestern mind wide open. It really created all kinds of possibilities I never imagined. So, shoot some Screech, take some deep breaths and just let her go. She’s probably more nervous than she might be because you’re fretting so much. You’ve taught her well, she’s with a chaperoned group, things will be fine. Remember, you are doing a very good thing for her!
As Cathy Forbes always says, “Worry is a pagan form of prayer.”
If the Tim Tams were devoured even before they hit the table, I doubt they would ever be confused with Newfie Jam Jams – yuk! In case you are curious: http://www.purity.nf.ca/products.htm#jamjam. I’m a displaced Newfoundlander and I think my mother has the same bag of those beasts in the cupboard that were there when I was six. I’m pretty sure there is an unwritten rule that every Newfoundlander needs to have a bag of Jam Jams, a bag of Hard Tack, a bottle of Raspberry Syrup and some Molasses Kisses in the pantry whether they like it or not.
For high school graduation, my dad let me go off to New York City with just another girlfriend. Two 18 year old girls, alone.
Give your daughter an extra 10 Euros to buy a phone card. My dad gave me 100 to buy a pre-paid cell last time I went to Europe with the same friend. Paranoia is the perogative of parents.
And the “you are my child so you will not be allowed to date or go out after 10 pm” is totally appropriate. I think you should institute “you are my child so you should do your own laundry”.
If you ever get your hands on another package of Tim Tams, by all means try the Tim Tam Slam – it is a melty, chocolatey, coffee-y (or tea-y in my case) delight. Biting off opposite corners works a lot better than each whole end, though, as that allows more control over the rate of coffee/tea uptake.
… Lord, I’m a dork.
I just have two words for you: Re. Lax.
I’m the overprotective parent of an only, and look at me. Re. Laxed.
Morgen went last year. She was one of the kids who didn’t drink. The teacher told them that if they misbehaved in Amsterdam they were going to be sent home. She loves the teacher, so she didn’t misbehave.
She was fine. We gave her a credit card with a limited amount of money on it. She also had
a phone card (which I don’t think she used)and her cell.
I was flippy – but she was ok. She came back ok. She has now seen more of the world than I have, AND she brought back yarn from Paris just for the hell of it.
Have a great trip Amanda. Do not worry too much your mother will survive and you will have the time of your life.
They do say that distance makes the heart grow fonder. I am a firm believer in that saying, have tried it very often with very good results.
You raised ’em right, right? So now you’re giving one the gift of a lifetime by letting her explore some of the Big Wide World. She’s not going alone, right? There *are* some trust-worthy adults accompanying the group, right? She’ll be fine! *You’ll* be fine! What a wise and compassionate mother you are to let her do this brave, wonderful thing!
One word of advice: it’s okay to cry (a little) at the airport, but don’t throw yourself screaming onto the floor or she’ll pretend for the rest of her life that she doesn’t know you.
Steph … congratulations on having a daughter going to Vienna. She will have a wonderful time, and come back even more wonderful and interesting than she is currently.
You, on the other hand, will worry. You will tear up at the airport. All the way home you will cry … possibly loudly. Joe will give you lots of hugs and attention.
When Amanda returns, you will wonder where the time went.
Trust me. I was once the 15-year-old young lady venturing off to Europe with an orchestra. And look how I turned out! Well … yeah, look how I turned out. Absolutely wonderfully!
And it’s all a testament to wonderful parenting.
Congratulations. You’re doing a fine job.
Carol
Oh, do something with Spring soon! I don’t know about Tim Tams, but I do know about hoovering. Didn’t know the expression made it to Canada though. I am just relieved that my oldest is now married and I don’t have to worry about her going to Mexico for Spring Break anymore. Do you know what college kids do there? Oh, sorry, never mind. I went to Mexico City when I was 16 with the Latin American History Club. Very tame – she’ll be fine. It’s college you have to worry about.
I just got some Tim Tams and am hoping I don’t eat the whole package before I get a chance to slam one.
Your daughter is going to have a wonderful time, and she will be chaperoned, so she will be okay! Besides, she is YOUR daughter, so you have nothing to worry about, right (or are you now more worried?).
You have to do the Tim Tam Slam. You owe it to yourself and the Tim Tams.
I don’t know about your snowy side of the country, but on the rainy side we started getting Tim Tams in some grocery stores — Safeway, IGA — last year. The package doesn’t say “Tim Tam” but looks almost identical. Oh, and if you do find them, buy the blue package, they’re double filled.
Oh, and about your daughter: don’t worry. I’m sure she’s not as stupid as most of us bandies are. 😉
I went to Vienna on a trip with a choir. The Uzis on the security guards at the airport will scare her into behaving, and the sex shops next to Christian book stores will make her laugh until she relaxes into having a good time. She’ll be fine.
How come nobody told me about this _before_ I had my baby? Now I’ll have to start worrying about the teenage years.
Austria is one of the safest tourist countries in the world, and if all you have told us is true Amanda is a very intelligent young lady. I’m sure she will be fine. Just remember to tell her to bring you back lots of chocolate. 😉
Ah, you’re alright. It’s natural – when I (as an adult, mind you – a college graduate) went off to Turkey for a year my father cried so hard in the airport I thought they were going to have to take him out on a stretcher. Seriously: I remember some kind of knees-buckling swoon on his part. And note, too, that he did this twice: once at the initial departure and once after six months when I returned to the US for a short trip and then went back. Now that I think about it, my dad might not be the best standard of normalcy in parenting, but I still think you’re OK.
She will be fine. The question will remain to be seen how mom survives. Spring will be here soon.
I went camping in the States once with a friend who had sent her only daughter (then 7 or 8) to Brunei to stay with her grandparents; she flew there alone, as an unaccompanied minor. Knowing that her own parents were looking after the child didn’t make my friend any less of a basket case; I kept finding her standing around outside, wringing her hands and looking lost.
Sorry, there’s really no inspirational point to my story that will make you feel better. Just remember not to expect her to call home–she’s 15, after all, and no phone call probably means she’s having too much fun.
Steph, you will be just fine. You just go ahead and weep all the way home from the airport. Get it out. ALL of it. Then compose yourself and no more tears. Amanda will have the time of her young life, and will miss you to boot.
Ha! I can say these things to you because my kidlets are 5 and 2 and won’t be off flying in giant airliners for years and years and years to come. But I feel your pain, just the same.
P.S. way cool singles!
Oh, and I want some Tim Tams!
I had one time I was flying to go visit my parents, (before my hair went gray), and the stewardess, an older one than many of them, kept fussing over me. “Are you flying alone, dear?”
I finally got it. I looked up at her and said, “I’m in my 30s and I have four children.” No, I was not an unaccompanied minor. She about died of embarrassment, poor thing.
But I bet my mom could still have related to her, and to you, worrying about the “kid” travelling by herself. Our kids will always be kids to us. So, this is just a practice run, Stephanie. May Amanda have a wonderful time; she’ll remember this trip the rest of her life. Not a whole lot of kids get to do what she’s doing.
Did you get her one of those pre-paid international phone cards? That way she could “check in” pretty easily from wherever she is.
Just wondering if you got my email about Knitters Without Borders?
Thanks!!!
Just to show you the full range of possible parenting styles. I have a 7 year old that keeps reminding me she is old enough to fly unaccompanied. She thinks she can go visit her Nana (in England) on her own.
Oooh, Belize — get yerself some Marie Sharp’s hot sauce! My absolute favorite. Habanero, but not especially hot; there’s a ton of flavor.
And think warm sun-drenched lime-flavored thoughts.
I was also a child not allowed to date, but sent off to study for a summer in a small town three bumpy hours north of Moscow, Russia. My mother seemed much like you are now.
The interesting bit is, that my younger brother and sister were both allowed to date at younger ages, but have yet to travel anywhere without a parent.
She will be fine – group trips are lots of fun and really safe from the perspective of lots of people looking out for each other. And that will prevent any sort of issues of pickpockets and the sorts, because everyone watches out for each other.
Don’t worry about the little things like phone cards and kleenex, just make sure she has enough film (in her carry-on) to take pictures of everything that she does and sees.
My 19 yo son is about to drive to Savannah, GA for spring break with a couple of friends–no chaperone. *I* have something to worry about!
If it makes you feel any better my parents allowed me to go and live in Spain when I was 15. I went with a program called SYA and lived in Barcelona for the whole year with the host family. I also went to school (in Spanish). I am sure they were nervious but it was a wonderful experience. It gave me a lot of self-confidence and wonderful memories.
Just remember to breath at the airport!
Talk to Sandy at http://www.sandysknitting.com/. Her daughter just got back from Germany and I remember that she was feeling very similar to the way you are feeling now.
Is it wrong that a little part of me is looking forward to a “Yup. I made a bit of a scene at the airport” post on Moday? Seriously, I wouldn’t blame you. It’s making me tear up and I don’t even know Amanda.
To save you spinner’s limp, ever thought about a double treadle wheel? I can spin all day though usually find it’s my shoulders that ache rather than my legs. The spring hasn’t yet arrived in England either, it’s blowing a gale at the moment, but at least -7 is about the lowest we get.
first: thanks so much for the spinning info. I will be spinning before MD* and so this will be helpful.
Second, let me tell you about a woman who grew up into a reasonably well balanced adult b’c her mother let her go away to Germany for a month when she was about 16. I applied (and was accepted) to an international opportunity through the Girl Scouts (Girl Guides) where I went to West Germany and lived with home hospice. 12 other girls my age also went with 2 adults. We had a bundle of fun. In fact we still write, talk, email and get together from time to time. This yr was our 16 yr anniversary and I met 2 of the other women down in Savannah last month to get together and hang out. It really is a great way to let your daughter grow up. In fact, b’c of that experience I have travelled to 4 countries through Girl Scouting. (9 all told) and I wouldn’t trade a minute of what I did. She is doing something very important to her and something that will make her grow into the fine young lady you see in your mind’s eye. I know it is hard, but try to be as cool as a cucumber if you can. and she will ahve fun and she won’t be able to wait to get home and tell you.
*if I am lucky
What an amazing opportunity for your daughter…you’re a cool mom for letting her go. Don’t worry, she’ll be fine…she sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders [thanks to good parenting]…that goes a long way.
See, there are bonuses to living in Australia! We have crap yarn, despite supplying a huge amount of the worlds wool supply, but we do have Tim Tams 🙂
Question: What kind of a mother won’t let a kid date but sends her to Vienna? What sort of mother tells the kid “No bloody way” to a 10 o’clock movie but says “Vienna? Cracow? Sure sweetie, let me help you pack.”
Answer: The good kind of mother.
Please, Harlot, I know that you have special super-powers and all…..please don’t let my girls grow up…..and leave for France. Who had the bright idea of giving them a bilingual education, of giving them wings, of actually encouraging them? Was I really that crazy?
Still looking for sights of spring? Check out the “family” section on our website at http://www.lusciousgracious.com and see what is in bloom in lovely Phoenix, AZ. On your book tour, let me recommend a trip to the American Southwest in February, when you North-of-the-Border knitters need it, and not in July. A 120 degree dry heat is still very hot….
Let her out of the car, dear Harlot. I need a role model.
Off to the pool! Close to 90 degrees today.
Kiki
Hello. I just got back from Germany and I had a great time. I had such a great experience and I’m sure your daughter will too. I didn’t get kidnapped or mugged so that should give you hope for your daughter. I can’t wait to hear about her experiences through my mom through your blog. Don’t worry too much at the airport, it will embarrass her. Good luck!
My sister went to England, Scotland and Wales with her Youth Orchestra when she was 13. My mother made us stand by the fence at Philadelphia Int’l Airport, staring at the plane until it took off.
That was almost 20 years ago and I’m still bored thinking about it.
Hey! I know where Belize is; I’ve even been there. Lovely place. And I am seriously resisting learning to spin. Knitting is bad (expensive) enough. And children grow up and leave home, but you still worry, plus now you have grandchildred to add to the worry list. You’ll survive, we all do. And Amanda will survive (and thrive), too, because you *have* worried about her.
Oh Steph!!! I am literally welling up over here! I read your post and am reading all of the encouragement you are getting, well, actually, I had to stop because I was about to sob. So here it is: I am crying partially in envy, because Amanda is going to have a fantastic experience. She is so lucky to have parents who encourage her to do things and be someone. I am weepy for her sisters, who (and I know this from personal experience with my own kids) will miss her terribly, but never let on. Watch closely Steph, the subtle signs are all going to be there. I absolutely fall in love with Erin all over again the week that Gillian is coming home from school. She asks constantly what day? what time? is she home yet? Last Friday she had spent the previous night with a friend and when she called I asked if she wanted to be picked up. In return she asked if Gillian was home yet, when she would be home and then decided since it wasn’t going to be until that evening that she would stay at her friend’s home a bit longer. But ask her if she misses Gillian, she would never admit it. And now I am downright bawling for you. You will live through it, and will be so thrilled to live vicariously through her experiences when she gets home. Your heart will explode with pride. Somewhere in the second week you will go an hour or so without worrying and wonder how that happened. I know exactly that you are feeling that mix of clinging with both arms and pushing, or at least gently guiding out the door. This mothering thing…… We (the collective we) share it so deeply, I will have Amanda on my mind for the next two weeks.
Next, I am crying for all of the times I have done this and all of the times to come. And last, I am worrying just a little bit, why the hell I am so upset over somebody else’s kid, that I don’t even know, going away from home. Cripes sakes! Could it be that I started my effing period today that has me sobbing like an idiot over this post? I’m off to drown my hormones in chocolate.
My youngest (who was 16 at the time) went to Prague and Austria last year with the honors chorus. It was an amazing and wonderful experience and worth the sleepless nights I spent before and during (and yes, I was bizarre after thinking every little cough must be a horrid flu he had brought home.) He survived, loved it and went to Tanzania last summer to climb Kilimanjaro. The stress is so outweighed by the fact that my children have a desire to see other places and people. It truly will be ok!!!
Firstly Stephanie, I bet your house is more like the Wild Thornberries, than Wild Kingdom. Secondly, not only are you letting Amanda grow through an amazing experience, you will grow as a mother. Just think, by the time Sam leaves for an overseas trip, you will pack her bags, and dance with joy, because it should mean that you and Joe will have some time alone. But tear up at the airport anyway. Embarrassing teenage children is a privilege all mothers should take advantage of as justice for squeezing something the size of a cantalope out of a space the size of a marble. And you did it without drugs.
Thirdly, if you get too teary, think of something funny. Like me, as a substitute kindergarten teacher’s assitant (for which I’m qualified) sitting on the floor of the custodian’s office, using a hammer and a wrench to pry the the lid of a can of ditto machine (yeh, this school is so poor they have to use a ditto machine for some copying) fluid(obviously I’m not qualified), as I mumble WTF, I need some Screech. I hear a laugh, turn around and the custodian is looking at me and asks “What is Screech?”
No spring here either, snow and wind today. And I really wanted to plant my peas this weekend.
My mother DIDN’T let me go to Mexico on a school trip, and look how I turned out.
Let her out of the car. Cry all the way home. Listen to how quiet the house is. And never, ever, admit it. Well, maybe once.
(From somebody who checks in with her daughter three times a day when she’s at her dad’s)
Dear Steph,
I am sure this mail will not help you in any way….
Vienna and Cracow are great cities ( been to both of them…..). Your daughter will have fun and come back in one piece and will make more plans to go again. But having said that my Mum cries every time when i leave for the US …. although she tells me every time that she is not going to cry, but its ok, why not let the tears flow?
P.
If she bothers to play the violin, she bothers to pay attention to alot of things. My 18 yr old daughteris playing the violin for a cruise line.
I was not allowed to go to dances , football games , school events in general and it is cruel not to prepare her then trust her. Just let go and not act so freaked out. She will only think she is inadequate, not that the world is comlicated and you love her more than your own eyes. Breathe in -breathe out.
Do Amanda a favor: when she leaves, DO NOT, repeat do not hold up a huge sign saying “Amanda, Mommy misses you, have a good trip…”. Instead, tuck an “I love you” note or two in her suitcase after she’s finished packing, so she’ll find them when she is in the hotel the first night (folded in the pj’s works well)
When you pick her up at the airport when the orchestra arrives back from their trip — now THAT’S the time for the big signs and balloons! You are more than allowed to embarass her then. They will be relieved to be home, even though they loved being away from home, and so they won’t put up too much of a protest at being hugged and kissed in public in front of their friends.
My then 12 y.o. son went to Japan with a school group last May, and yes, I was a basket case. Of course, that was also over Mother’s Day, so DH took me for a weekend away, which took my mind of DS for a little while.
RE: Carol’s numbered “lectures”, our code is now “blah blah blah, behavior” and he knows exactly what I mean.
Be strong, Steph!
Re spinners limp: Get a double treadle. I don’t care what Alden Amos says about them, it is easier to spin on and makes it easier to spin for extended periods of time.
Steph,
you are more than welcome. It is a thank you for all the amusement your blog has provided over the last year…. and btw, they are *bikkies* not cookies ;-P Bikkies come in packages from the supermarket and are usually crunchy, cookies are things you make at home that are sorta soft and squishy. If you overcook them they become bikkies. In my place in Oz, anyway!
I have just bought some suri alpaca. Interested?
Tim Tams are my favorite cookie. Ever.
I won’t go into the daugher thing, seems well covered above.
The spinning: I have had a yearning to learn, and one thing is abundantly clear from your lessons – This is A LOT OF WORK! Wow, I am now much more impresssed with spinners than previously.
I also know this is something for the back burner for me…I don’t have that kind of time or patience in my life!
Wow, once again, you rock Harlot!
The one time I can recall my mother crying during any of my departures, I was moving into a new dormitory. My mother said, and I quote, “I’m leaving you in a *prison*!!!” The dorm was a cemement block in the Brutalist style which seemed to mark the rest of the campus. Oh, yeah, and I was twenty-five and starting my PhD program in Buffalo, NY.
As one of my husband’s students once said to him (but I’ll insert your name): “Yarn Har-lot, ray-lacks…”
Yes, ask for dark chocolate. A lot of it.
{{{hug}}} Amanda will be OK and so will you. My Mom went through the same thing when my sister was 16 and wanted to go on a tour of Europe with her art class … My sister not only survived, but she gained a lot from the experience. My Mom survived too … heck, she even survived the millions of pictures my sister took and insisted everyone look through twice … I, OTOH, am still reeling from the experience (too many pictures!!). Keep busy by knitting lots (like I have to tell you that!) and eating lots of chocolate, and drinking lots of beer. Ah, yes, get drunk and stay that way and by the time you sober up Amanda will be back safe and sound and you won’t have missed her a bit. *wink*
Great spinning there Stephanie!
I have a request.
I’ve been asked to teach a group of spinners how to knit gloves, and I’m gathering information on what kinds of yarns would be good.
May I use your description of what you do for sock yarns? I figure if the yarn is strong enough for a sock, it should be suitable for gloves.
Keep well and happing crafting! Danny
Its ok to fret but its also ok to let go! I think planes and the airport are a pretty safe place for teenagers. My son flew, ohh, I think he was 10 or so for the first time alone, he’s a seasoned frequent flyer now. People would always get excited about me letting him go alone. I’d answer, ok and WHERE is he going to go when on the plane?! what is he gonna do wrong?? The kids are being mothered to no end when flying alone, so I would not fear.
You seem to have raised your kids with a healthy dose of common sense and self respect, so I would not be worried about what is going to happen once there 🙂
Just don’t read The Fig Eater till she gets back. Kidding. Kidding. Make sure she stuffs herself with pastry. Translation tip: Anything that ends in “torte” is good. If she goes to Salzburg, she can see all the Sound of Music stuff. Maybe she’ll end up like Maria and you’ll have a whole family of singers.
BTW thanks for posting all the spinning stuff. Great to see how someone else does it.
I went to Austria with my orchestra when I was sixteen or so. It was an amazing experience; I still talk about it over ten years later. As long as she knows enough not to go off by herself and has a watch so she can keep track of when to meet up with everybody, she’ll be fine.
And yes. The chocolate. Bring back the chocolate. I stocked up on Toblerones, myself: they sold them like Hershey bars over there.
You are giving Amanda one of the best gifts ever by sending her off to Austria. She will learn so much about another culture and *that* is one of the keys to making this world more peaceful. I wish everyone could have the chance to travel overseas. I can’t say that you’ll be fine while she’s gone, but I can say that you are doing the right thing. Hang in there!
Now Steph dear, repeat after me:
“Tim-Tams are *biscuits*.”
No self respecting Australian crunchy thing that’s delicious with coffee would allow itself to be called a cookie. Oreos are cookies. They’re allowed to be called cookies because they’re tourists.
Tim-Tams are **biscuits**.
😉
I feel your anxiety about your daughter traveling. My son left for BC two years ago to attend university. I’m managing. [g]
Thank you for taking the time to show the process of spinning. I’m just beginning to have an interest in it and have been doing research. With your demonstrations, you have given me the incentive to go for it. Hopefully, I’ll do well with a spindle and books while I save for a wheel.
I feel your anxiety about your daughter traveling. My son left for BC two years ago to attend university. I’m managing. [g]
Thank you for taking the time to show the process of spinning. I’m just beginning to have an interest in it and have been doing research. With your demonstrations, you have given me the incentive to go for it. Hopefully, I’ll do well with a spindle and books while I save for a wheel.
in 1992, I realize this is an eternity ago, both in years and in change for the global society, I sent my barely 16-year-old daughter [alone] from our small airport to JFK and then to Barcelona. No school trip, but a Rotary-sponsored link with a family we had spoken to a few times on the phone. I feel your fear, yet I know it was an invaluable experience for my daughter, and my Spanish daughter who returned with with my own Sarah. The kids negotiated a missed flight in JFK, going through separate customs lines, etc. I had helped equip my daughter with the skills to go out into the world, and she arrived home healthy and happy. I aged 6 years in the 6 weeks, but I was getting grey anyway! Amanda will be fine and have wonderful stories to tell when she returns. You’ll survive, too! Knit on, and be strong!
You both will survive. I went my sophmore year in high school for 10 days in Italy with a deaf/1/2 blind teacher and an acoholic teacher and survived. They will be too busy to get into trouble. But I understand your concerns. I’m having problems “releasing” my 11 year old for a week long band camp in July 100 miles away! Guess this is what motherhood is all about.
Will immediatly do a search for Tim Tams. My daughter went to Europe twice with her high school band and once to study in Spain for 6 weeks where she stayed with a host family. She still keeps in touch with that family 10 years later. It was all a wonderful experience for her. We worried but trusted her. By all means ask for lots of chocolate. Keep us informed about her.
Hi! I am a regular reader of your blog (blogless myself) and I just had to respond. Two years ago I sent my then 17 year old son to Argentina for a soccer opportunity. I angst over it so much. I thought for sure I had gone completely bonkers, sending my precious baby to another country where English is not the language and there is political unrest. End of story – he had a FABLOUS time, learned a lot – yes about soccer, but more importantly about himself. Last year he wrote his college essay about his experience there, and how it has now influenced his career decisions-which btw do not include playing soccer. Opportunies to see and experience the world are wonderful gifts we can give our children. She will go, she will enjoy and she will grow! Meanwhile, breath deep! Karen
Amanda will be fine. All significant teenager training takes place when they are very young. You put in what you can, then hope it comes out when they are off on their own discoveries, out of eye- and ear-shot. Fun, isn’t it?
I just wish more people would support Youth Orchestras even when they don’t know anyone in them. http://timothy.org.uk/blog/2005/03/walking-red-carpet-for-world-premiere.php
I feel your anxiety about your daughter traveling. My son left for BC two years ago to attend university. I’m managing. [g]
Thank you for taking the time to show the process of spinning. I’m just beginning to have an interest in it and have been doing research. With your demonstrations, you have given me the incentive to go for it. Hopefully, I’ll do well with a spindle and books while I save for a wheel.
Here’s a therapy “trick”… Comment on the obvious. i.e., “Seems we’re both a bit wound up, don’t you think, darling daughter?” Aside from being a spinning and yarn pun, it allows the truth to be noticed and spoken. And that’s where we connect with people. And when we speak a truth that is absolutely unique to us, others actually think it is interesting! (Don’t get me started about people who spout self-rightous truths all in CAPITAL letters!!) I sent my 8th grader to Israel to see her best friend who’d just moved back. I was sure there’d be another 6 days war while she was there. I sent her to Ireland because she wanted to study abroad… I was sure the Troubles would flare in Dublin (If you’ve read M. Gordon’s Pearl, you know it can…)… but she’s braver, smarter and wonderful as always… and I still get nervous!!
Oh geez, you mean I have to let them leave the house someday?? I just got comfortable with carpooling this year, for goodness’ sake (yeah, I’m lame). I can’t imagine. That said, I think Amanda will have an amazingly good time, and her trip will be fabulous. Rx: lots of chocolate. Maybe Bailey’s since it’s St. Pat’s this week.
I need to move up to a wheel sometime. I borrowed one for a week, but it was like learing to drive a stick shift again – I got some really high-twist yarn because I kept forgetting to stop treadling when I slowed down the drafting. I love my spindle, but I’d like to get through a roving a little faster. Spring is here, and I’m going to watch a shearing next weekend!