For tax purposes

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I got this in the mail from Cathy in Sarnia (that’s here in Ontario, home of the Sarnia Sting) apparently I’ve been issued a receipt of sorts.

Dear Stephanie,

Squirrels Without Borders would like to thank you for your kind gift of wool. Several sweaters will be donated in your name to the less fortunate city Rat Bastards.

Tree Rat Couture 1

Cathy

183 thoughts on “For tax purposes”

  2. Well, I think that’s perfectly lovely. If the squirrels are receiving sweaters, they’ll be less likely to steal wool, right? Or, do you think that the yarn fumes will simply encourage them to steal more?

  3. Hmmm. Looks like a perfect use for leftover sock yarn. Wonder just how much tax credit we’d get?

  4. How do I explain to others in my office why I am laughing so hard the tears are streaming down my cheeks? How, oh how, do we explain to the muggles why we find this so funny? I am so happy to be part of a community with this kind of sense of humor. It is so much fun! Thanks for sharing. Hee hee hee heee……….

  6. Can’t write for laughing. You’re so generous you didn’t even realize how giving you were!!
    Love you, Stephanie, and all you do – rain or shine.

  7. Holy Cow! I about choked on my morning bagel on this one! It brought the Hubster running, lest he find me passed out on the floor. Not to worry, dear Hubster, it’s just Stephanie’s Blog….again.

  8. A receipt, that is funny. At least he won’t take my slot for Ravelry.

  10. Stephanie… a hero to knitters and rodents everywhere! This is too funny. If I’d laughed any harder I’d have wet myself… oops, tmi. Enjoy a great weekend.

  11. OMG. Hilarious! Thank god I wasn’t drinking anything, because it would have been squirted all OVER the keyboard.

  12. If we keep the squirrels warm (and healthy), we will unfortunately end up with even more squirrels. Love the photo though. Squirrels Without Borders – that’s hilarious.

  13. Cathy deserves a medal for quick thinking. That’s awesome.
    Oh, and Miriam’s comment made me snort.
    Here’s to a peaceful end to the War on Squirrels!

  14. Toooo, tooo, funny. Maybe if I knit for the squirrels, they will stop stealing the bird seed.

  16. but I want to know who is doing the spinning for those squirrels and how can we make them stop.
    For pity’s sake, we would donate yarn for squirrel sweaters, but fleece people – this was FLEECE!!

  17. There is a Sarnia in Canada! That’s amazing! Sarnia is the name the Romans gave to our little ‘ol island of Guernsey – Our national “anthem”/song is called Sarnia Cherie 🙂 Interesting fact about Guernsey – we have NO squirrels 🙂

  18. Gee, and I thought it was just my imagination that this morning, the squirrels are all sporting fair-isles. They work fast.

  23. Absolutely hysterical!!! What a great photo!! Great morning laugh!!! Ruth in NJ

  25. Stephanie,
    You owe me a new monitor and keyboard. I think I have permanent coffee stains on my screen now since I tend to wander over here to read while taking a midmorning coffee break. One would think I’d learn.

  27. Wrong, wrong and more wrong. This not a happy thank you note but a declaration of war!
    It has to be stopped before they infiltrate the yarn shops!

  30. never mind the carding, & the spinning.. they are even dyeing it!
    I lost it, lol I love it, lol now I know why I bought a box of kleenex just for my computer desk, lol
    Almost makes the flat tire I found this am able to deal with, lol

  35. My future SIL is a squirrel collector. I immediately thought of her love for the animals along with your disgust of them. This “receipt” is truely a good laugh! Think they knit that up on US size 1 needles?? Have a great weekend despite those crazed little bastards that like to steal wool!

  37. My brother & his family live in Sarnia. I need to look out for these knitting squirrels on my next visit! This photo made my day.

  40. The worst part is I’m pretty sure that the squirrels haven’t even knit themselves sweaters. They have crocheted them!
    Take a look at the circular shoulders. Its crochet all right.

  47. Now, that’s SCARY! Fluffy tailed rats running around in little sweaters … being embarrassed to death … however, therein MAY lay an idea for getting rid of the ones taking your yarn … catch them and dress them in pink! 🙂

  48. Ecureuils sans frontieres —
    nope, sorry, doesn’t have the same ring.
    Now rats-batards or even salauds — that works for me.
    (Sorry, I have a anglophile keyboard that doesn’t do diacritical marks.)
    At least you have proof now….

  50. Keep an eye on your hand mixer… They may steal that next and fashion it into a spinning wheel! No one is safe!

  51. ::falls over laughing hysterically:: Thanks for sharing – Cathy’s a comic genius!
    I’m having visions of a giant tree, nicely hollowed out (but still living, of course), umpteen little floors with office cubicles; donations lines, meeting rooms, all sorts of department, staffed by squirrels busily chattering away… All concentrated on clothing those rat bastards in need. Oh. Goddess. (I wonder; do they forget where they stored donations? That buried nuts thing, y’know.) With somewhere a roll of unwitting knitters and spinners who’ve donated to the cause.
    Oh man. T-shirts!::falls over again::
    God, I wish I could make sense of LiveJournal’s S2 coding and layers and complicated crap – then I could modify my blog template so I could use buttons. I want to make an SWB button (could do) and put it on my sidebar! (can’t do; I’m using the wrong kinda template, darn it, and I’m not a coder.)

  52. ah, so nice to see the kinfolk are taken care of. As for your squirrel thief, Please forgive cousin silas, he’s a bit touched.

  53. I feel sorry for the poor little sweat shop squirrels who have to spin and knit all the little sweaters so the posh city squirrels can look fashionable while drinking their lattes.
    Save the overworked and underappreciated squirrels!

  55. Who knew that German engineers space-dyed sock yarn at the PRECISE interval necessary to perfectly stripe a squirrel torso?
    Amazing.

  56. Oh Cathy! You are so quick and so funny! OMG – to think the thieving rat bastards have organized charity knitting for themselves!!

  57. Can it be true? Do they suffer the same yarn addiction I do? Can they smell the delightful lambie, caress the silky softness, smooth it up against a check, be awestruck with color design and pattern, not to mention fit? Is it possible? Or are they just aliens in disguise trying desperately to understand knitters? Maybe just fit in? Can someone in the universe answer my questions? Thanks Steph as if i didn’t have enough news from the committee in my head. I think I’ll just go knit MS3. My husband was right. You are a wonderful way to be lead astray.

  58. Oh, well, I know it was hard to let the wool go, but at least you know it’s going to a good cause! 🙂
    Have a good weekend!

  59. Stephanie…you may not have noticed yet, but, then this IS you…you may have…the Mystery Stole is GREAT FOR STARTITIS! we have to start something new every week…it doesn’t feel like working on the same project! We also have a deadline to finish each clue…before the next one comes out. Granted it’s a self imposed deadline…no one cares if we make it, but it’s a normal amount of work, doable in a week by a normal, sane human, unlike, say, Stephanie’s usual deadlines that have an optimistic view of her productivity 🙂 (Do you hear my exaggerated understatement?)

  60. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You know, I was thinking a cage would help you, Steph. Not to catch the rat bastard, but to protect your lovely fleece while it dries! 😉

  61. Oh my shattered nerves!! Sqirrels’s in sweaters is really TOO much. Laughing so hard I can hardly see the key board. Thanks Cathy for being so quick and witty and thanks Stephanie for posting it. A good laugh for the day is good medicine

  64. Very clever and just the sort of humor I need today. I will be cracking myself up today with the phrase ” less fortunate city rat bastards”.

  65. Bad Squirrel! His cousins decided to make babies in my attic this past spring. We have no love for one another.

  68. If you start bringing squirrel sweaters to all of your book tours, you just might start attracting the wrong crowd to your signings. You know, those SCARY knitters. The old-maid, no-friends, nothing-better-to-do-on-a-Saturday-night ones. 😉

  69. Cathy deserves a prize for her wit.
    I will be giggling about this for the rest of the day.

  70. That’s hilarious! Now we need to see the pic of the squirrel spinning and knitting, because that was fast work. Coffee must have been involved.

  71. We call ’em fat tail rats here in Brooklyn. Not as bad as water bugs, although at least water bugs don’t eat your stash.
    It is important in life to be fair and equitable but sweaters for fat tail rats may be going too far.

  72. I love it! I’ve been watching squirrels outside my window and telling them to stay away from your backyard.

  75. that is so hilarious, I’m having a hard time not yelling to my co-workers “Come see this!”

  79. Andy (19 mos.) just pointed to the picture & said “sateeoh! up a tee!” I love when he comments on blog fodder 🙂

  80. Mercy.
    So ok, what you need to do is enlarge the photo a bit, print it off, back it with something, laminate the hell out of it and then use it while you’re drying fleece out back, have it ‘stand guard’ with another little sign attached…”I’ve already donated” for your little neighborhood rat bastard dude to see…..think it’ll work?
    xox

  84. Love squirrels, love that picture! What I want to know is, how did they get the sweater on that squirrel?! They’re not exactly the most cooperative creatures….

  85. Squirrels Without Borders – CA 530 local chapter reporting in. We surely do appreciate your donation to our less fortunate cousins up north. Our human keeps us supplied with nuts (which we throw at them). They think they have us pacified.
    Yours Truly,
    Spazz Q. Greytail, chapter president, Chico, CA

  87. The Lesson: squirrels, just like dogs and cats, love to wear handknit items (sure they do). Heehee.

  88. Your fiber thief squirrel has cousins here in San Diego, California. I was hit last night!
    They’re out there…
    Pic on my blog.

  89. That is too funny! I bet the little buggers over turned a semi loaded with Jolt (re: over the hedge). I wouldn’t put it over them to have knitting Squirrel collectives!

  90. That’s weird. However he (she?)still looks like the rat bastard acrobat thief he/she is. Actually it sort of looks like a rat bastard imitating an armadillo…ah HA, a vain attempt at disguise to gain proximity to wool.

  93. Seems to me that pic would be perfect for target practice of some sort. ::very big evil grin::
    Slingshots with water balloons doused in cayenne pepper might work.
    Or you could launch rotten cherries at the little buggers. Seems to me your tree will have an almost unlimited supply of that ammo in the very near future.
    I cannot wait to see how the new ‘Summer of the Scurrilous Squirrel’ plays out.

  94. Hey… squirrels have feelings too… and stashes as well!
    I learned this the hard way last fall, when I looked out and saw our patio furniture cushions torn to shreads…by what?? by whom?? A few days later, we noticed big fluffy white masses in the trees, and comforted ourselves knowing there were wee tiny babies born into soft fluffy whiteness.

  95. That squirrel closely resembles Black Bart, who was quite aggressive in asserting his right to my bird feeders. His younger brother, Chuckles the Clown, was more passive, but also more stupid.
    By the way, Stephanie, this is surely a matter of the universe seeking balance. A few days ago a squirrel made you angry. Now a squirrel makes you laugh. Harmony and balance are restored.

  96. i think we need to invent something that whenever we visit your site an automatic screen/keyboard protection “thingee” is activated.
    😉 i do fear tho that these furry little guys and gals will like the fumes and will be lined up with the rest of us at the wool festivals and the like with their just-harvested acorns chattering for that perfect fleece.

  97. Oh, my gosh. This is just hilarious. And I’m glad to see that SOMEONE can make sense out of Photoshop (least intuitive program on the planet.)
    I’m going to print this out and put a big CIRCLE Slash around it (in marker) and post it so that if our Mango Tree Thief ever comes a’calling, he won’t be able to say we didn’t warn him…

  99. It took every ounce of control in my body not to guffaw and snort and laugh extremely loudy at that picture (I’m at work, gotta be sly in my blog reading!).
    Will Squirrels Without Borders soon be offering a pattern for this squirrel cozy as a thank-you to donors?

  100. And I’m so embarrassed –when I first read that Sarnia was home of the Sarnia STING, I thought it was a typo and should have said Sarnia STRING –as in, a yarn shop.
    Maybe I ought to stop sniffing wool fumes…

  103. they steal your socks now its your yarn
    write nasty little notes so we will
    defect to thier side even offer money
    and have the gall to send photos of
    homeless rat bastards will this yarn
    never end is this a web wide gang
    to worry about will they chew my
    computer lines are they in touch
    with my local rat bastards are you sure about the friend

  104. Alopecia is a problem with squirrels?
    Just think, a rat-bastard version of Locks of Love.
    Thanks to the coffee goddess that my cup was empty for this one.

  105. I am so glad that I wan’t drinking anything when I red this. Bahhhahahahah!!! This is too freaking funny. I guess you never found the other half hu?.

  106. Will fingerless cabled mitts be the hot accessory this fall for the fashionable urban squirrel?
    Is Toronto still having a heat wave like we are down here? I do understand the need to show off a newly completed sweater even in appropriate weather, though.

  108. Oh, to die for!! I laughed and laughed. But question? Are they participating in MS3? Do we need to leave lace weight outside?
    Sorry, Valerie of NYC—roaches will too eat your stash; but they’re not big enough to steal it!

  111. Too funny. I’m so glad you and Cathy shared that one. I’m holding a grudge against squirrels myself. They taunt the dogs when I’m out walking them. (Have you ever tried to hold a 55 lb dog or two while a squirrel goes “neener, neener, neener, you can’t get me?”) I’m pretty sure the squirrels would be even cheekier in spiffy striped sweaters.

  113. I rode my bike through Sarnia about 25 yrs ago. No squirrels with sweaters but there is a raccoon in Michigan wearing a pair of rain chaps.
    For as goofy as squirrels can look (upsidedown on the bird feeder, ya know), this one is quite natty!

  114. ROFL –
    Here in DC the vendors kind of adopt the Squirrels – and they come up to people looking for food (I have a picture I took in front of the Fed with a few Squirrels and two ducks all vying for position to get hand-outs from a vendor). Now they’re going to start pestering us for sweaters!!
    Claire
    Knitters and Crocheters Care
    knitters-and-crocheters-care.blogspot.com

  116. That is just too funny! I do think that he needs a wee tiny little hat with a pom pom on top. Say, blue to match the strip in his sweater?

  119. That is funny beyond words!
    Just imagine the good Karma, Stephanie! Outfitting squirrels is above and beyond!

  121. See, I told you they just wanted sweaters! Now, if you’ll knit them some sweaters, think how grateful they’ll be, and I’m sure Squirrels Without Borders has some patterns…

  122. dude. that’s seriously funny. funny like the time when we were at sirius radio in nyc and i kept saying things like ‘god. security is so serious around here.’ and ‘seriously…they’re seriously late.’ nice.

  124. ….enjoying all your comments. My husband deserves the credit for the witty photography and editing in ACD Canvas. I just did the knitting.

  125. Oh, lord, what’s next? Sweaters on Wheels? Delivering sweaters to shut-in squirrels who can’t get out to steal their own?
    And Cathy? You and hubby are BOTH way clever.

  128. Whew!
    I sure was happy to read Cathy’s post at the bottom. For just a moment, I wondered if maybe – somehow – the squirrel had been assisted into a wee sweater knitted for the occasion…
    Clearly, I’ve been reading COBOL code too long today to consider anything other than photoshopping!
    Thanks for the great laugh!

  129. okay, even the dearly beloved looked over my shoulder and laughed at that!

  130. So was it Cathy or her husband who provided the wee gusset just about the squirrel-ham? Masterful, either way.

  135. I want to know how the tree bastards knit… no thumbs, ya know…
    I think it’s aliens. Or communists. Planning to revolt and take over by throwing acorns at us. No, seriously, it could so be true – tree bastards can get up a heck lot of momentum by rolling acorns down the roof. And then they hook it through the drain gutters, and that’s when you’re walking around a la Harry Potter for the rest of time.
    “All right there, scar head?”

  138. Strange, I don’t remember that blue in the fleece they stole from you. I’m not surprised that they spin, but dying is rather odd behavior for a rodent.
    Off topic: Are you aware that there’s another Stephanie Pearl not so very far from you? This month’s Sunset Magazine pictures Stephanie Pearl Kimmel, chef/owner of a restaurant in Eugene, Oregon.

  139. You should hang out at my house.I have “captured” 17 of the nasty little beasts and given them refuge at the park…far away! Nasty little things. Bad beasts!!

  142. Oh, that was funny. I’m so glad I read it at home, without my tea cup in front of me. And had time to read all the awesome comments! Way to go Cathy! and Hubbie!
    PS. I have no love of squirrels either, ever since they ate 12 strands of Christmas lights! Scrooges!

  143. Hahahaha!! Love to see what wool the well dressed squirrel is wearing.
    Oh by the way, thanks to you I have fallen down that MS3 rabbit hole. I’ve never done lace before but I couldn’t resist!!!!!!!!!!!

  144. That looks less like a sweater and more like armour every time I look at it. What exactly are these Sarnia squirrels planning?

  145. That’s funny! Has someone been playing with Photoshop?
    One of the things I learned by moving to Colorado is that there are no black squirrels here. They’re all brown. I wonder if I could sneak a mating pair back with me in August? 🙂

  148. Where can I get the squirrel sweater pattern? Is it available in half sizes?

  151. I’m sooooo glad that I washed your Unalaska fleece here. Our Alaskan squirrels don’t seem to be as troublesome as your Canadian ones, thank goodness. Sweaters for Squirrels; what’s next? Hats for Hamsters? Gloves for Gerbils? Cathy – very clever! And great graphics job by Cathy’s husband!

  152. OH, I CAN SEE IT NOW….. Joe will be sure to be raising more than just a few eyebrows in public when he wears his handsome, handmade Gansey wool sweater out and about…particularly when,for added emphasis,he mentions that the squirrel next door also wears a sweater made of the very same wool as his._____Now there’s a conversation starter if ever he needs one !!!! Hee!-Hee!-HEE!!

  153. With the weather we’ve been having in California, we’d be arrested for animal cruelty if we tried to put sweaters on the squirrels just now.

  154. OMG… Does that squirrel not recognize that those colors are out of style in the summer? And wool… and I understand that those Rat Bastards never appreciate fine work… give them all acryllic instead…

  155. Awwww, that’s awesome! And here I was, worried about how they spend the winters in Canada. I especially like the little humped up shoulders. Plenty of room for stretch as they leap for the next branch.

  156. Love the bastard rat!
    But I need to pick a bone with you on your last post. Cruel hearted Harlot!!!! How can you show us the ms3 and give us the link!??!! Of course yours is lovely…I thought, I have so many projects I am loving right now…I will just take a quick peek and go back to my lace wimple…yea right….There was not much time left to sign up…and I was shaking with anticipation…and got in…now I am re-arranging my day to include (oh darn) a trip to my LYS which just happens to share a space with a freakin’ bead shop! Seriously, it sounds like a hoot…hmmmm, a beautiful forest green lace weight Shetland wool? Or a rich deep garnet? I am in for it now! Thank heavens the sock class I was suppose to teach today was canceled because of the heat! (live in AZ) I am thinking the green…hmm just rememembered..it is on sale!!! Whoooohoooo!

  157. “Rat Bastards” Absolutely brilliant! Cathy deserves much kudos for being clever and funny. This was just too funny!
    I hope it didn’t increase your pain over the fleece-stealing Rat Bastard.
    BTW, have you been getting the emails from MS3? We’re all blaming YOU, O Powerful Minion of the Knitting Goddess.

  158. My first thought on seeing this was “Squirrel cozies. Who the H*** has time to knit squirrel cozies! And how do you get the squirrel to try them on for size?”
    I’m so relieved that you’re doing MS3, I feel much less like a weak wobbly willed wool addict now.

  159. The squirrels in Texas are more interested in shedding their fur coats because it’s about 90 degrees. I’m asking them to send any stray wool to you. (And I may send their coats somewhere after we get the chimney flue fixed– because the squirrels have been EATING it.) Rat bastards indeed.

  160. I am impressed at the knitting level of the squirrel. Can you tell if there are any short row darts? It is not clear who or what knitted the garment but I am still impressed. I would guess that it may be difficult for squirrels to get into yarn shops so ‘borrowing’ your fiber and then spinning and dyeing the wool before knitting it is quite an accomplishment.
    Does Squirrels Without Borders have any affiliation with the human equivalent? I am assuming the Rat Bastard in your neighborhood is one of the more affluent members. tee hee this is fun. Namaste,

  162. I hope my mother never sees this, she’ll go crazy wondering where she can get the pattern or where she can send off to donate to the poor poor squirrels that are so in need.
    I think she’s a little squirrelly….hee hee

  163. Another winner. It’s always worth it to check in on your website. Now I know how to knit a sweater for a squirrel!

  165. I just love the squirrel in his/her (?) cute jumper!! Yesterday I went to our local wool shop’s knitting group. It’s so much fun it should be illegal! Not only do we knit socks, jumpers, baby clothes, bags to felt etc. etc. BUT we eat delicious treats!!! We are also in the process of passing “The Yarn Harlot” around – it’s so good to be able to have a good laugh and share the fun with friends. Love your blog Steph!

  166. I wondered what those rascals were doing with your wool. Bet you feel a whole lot better about ‘sharing’ now! 😉 Too funny!

  168. Ah, ah, ho, okay, catching my breath. Wiping my eyes. Haven’t laughed so hard in ages. Of course, I was already a little punchy from the laceweight and beads.
    Does Cathy have a blog?

  170. Dude, my husband just looked at me like I was insane. He came and read the screen and still doesn’t have any idea why I’m giggling like a moron. Thanks Steph, I needed that!

  171. I’ve been coming back to this picture in disbelief for two days. What finally struck me is that either someone is very very good with photoshop, or they actually risked a squirrel attack and possibly a case of rabies (and the painful treatment) to wrestle that squirrel into that sweater.

  174. I think there are some sort of squirrel borders. Here in Lafayette, all the squirrels are gray. In Indianapolis, 60 miles away, they’re brown. Is there a squirrely Mason-Dixon line someplace?
    In Washington, D.C., however, they have both gray and brown squirrels, and even a handful of black ones. They’re clearly a reflection of the cosmopolitan city, right?
    Yes, I look up the local squirrels when I travel. But I’ve never lost any wool to them, so far.

  175. this is so funny! aren’t knitters a joy? 🙂

  178. As the guy that dressed the squirrel, I just have to jump in here. No, the squirrel was not coerced into wearing wool in 35C temps and I don’t use Photoshop. This was all done in a program called CANVAS. I’m glad that everyone had some fun with this.
    Cathy (the squirrel sweater knitter) and I have had a great time reading all of your comments.
    Knit on!

  179. does that thing have pockets? because now, he’s got a place to stash more wool. oh, that can’t be good…
    but it is hysterical.

  180. i think this blog and its residents should have
    an award we are so funny and bright
    love to be helpful and kind but mainly
    just better then leno and letterman
    put together you all are my good ship lollipop
    this is an old show tune if you ever need a friend here iam if you are up a tree call on me
    if you’re in jail i’m your bail its friendship
    friend ship just a perfect blendship liz

  181. Steph, I haven’t been able to get on your blog in WEEKS. Hopefully today is the last of that. I am very sorry about the squirrel.

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