From time to time, say…every day, someone tells me that I’m “crazy”. Now, for the most part I figure that they don’t actually mean “crazy” like “gosh I hope she gets some help”, but more like..”oh that crazy Steph”. People still let me babysit and everything. I am unaffected by their words. I know I’m sane.
Today though, Joe points out that I may be a little “off”.
Proof the first.
This picture very accurately captures the colours of the Dublin Bay sock. I took this picture and said to Joe “look how pretty the purple and mauve is… I’m so glad I’m getting Ian’s present done”. Joe just looked at me. I looked back. What? Joe stared me down. When I simply started back quizzically, Joe’s face moved from blank to incredulous.
“Are you serious?” he asked. (I thought about that for a minute. That question is usually a tip off that the asker thinks the answer should be “no”. )
“Yeah” I replied. Why on earth wouldn’t I be happy about getting ahead on Christmas? For crying out loud I get lectures on this very topic. He says “Why don’t you start earlier” “Why do you do this to yourself” “Why are you crying again” Here I am trying to pull it together so that we can all be spared the parade of woes and dude’s on my case?
“Steph” he says gently, ” you’re out of your mind honey, you’re crazy. You’ve been working too much or something”
“What?” (I’m really confused)
“Let’s just string these few words together ok?” (I must be missing something because he’s talking sort of slowly to me)
” Ian…hockey…beer…power tools…pretty mauve socks”
Damn.
Proof the second
I’m going to knit this by Saturday. I really believe that. Off I tell you. I’m a little off.
Yarn Harlot
Off course you’re a little off. We’re all a little off – that’s what makes us interesting people 🙂
I think your sock is beautiful (especially against the green leaves). I’d go for it – it’s entirely possible your perceptions regarding socks for a “manly” man are more accurate than your husband’s.
That’s what we love most about you Stephanie. What’s normal? The socks are very beautiful…you’ll find ‘someone’ on your list to give them to, right?
For the record, Joe is completely on the money. It’s indeed a fine looking sock, but it’s not for Ian. Nor, for the record, is it for me… 🙂
I’ll happily take a Snowflake hoodie, tho’! Who’s it for?
I think it’s called delusions of grandeur… 😉
Ooooh, I always love to read the trials and tribulations of the harlot knitting to a crazed, self-imposed deadline. Will she knit it in time? Will her family survive the fallout? What were those kids up to with the voodoo dolls anyway?
Ha, I can’t tell you how hard I laughed. That is sooo funny. I know a couple of Ians – but I think you’re OK, see, they look gray to me, so maybe that’s what Ian will see. Who knows, maybe he has a secret, tender side. Well, he’ll feel special anyway cuz they are really nice and how many regular folks get hand-made socks these days. The hoodie will be cute too.
I suppose there is also the fact that Ian’s pretty colour-blind. Now…if I can just work it so that nobody ever tells him….
Color blind…but what kind? Because if he’s one of the red/green kinds, then he might still be able to tell the purple, though the mauve might be difficult for him. Sorry…any talk of color deficiencies sends me into Sensation and Perception flash backs and I start talking psychology. There’s even a website where you can check out the different types and what colors would look like to them. Write if you’d like more details! 😉
You’re a writer; language is everything. Don’t call them mauve, call them grey. He’ll see grey (the lace pattern may be trickier.)
I say finish the socks, and enjoy the colors while you are working on them. Then dye them. 🙂
But there’s still the lace. I don’t know many manly men who would wear lace socks. (My husband, brothers, sons- even the sensitive ones- would give me a confused “uh, thanks” and promptly cram them in the back of a drawer, never to see the light of day again.) Better to gift them to someone who will appreciate their lacey purply-mauvy perfection. Maybe you could finish them, wrap them, put a lovely “to: Harlot from: ???” tag on them and be pleasantly surprised come Christmas morning.
Good luck with the hoodie. I told my self the same thing when I knit a scarf with the Snowflake. “Oh I’ll be done in a day or two.” Try two months. I messed up a little, and tryed to rip back. Aparently a big no-no with this yarn, because with only a little tugging, it broke. There is no frogging with snowflake. Better to throw away and give up. Oh, and don’t use bamboo, what ever you do. My LYS lady was dead wrong with that idea. But, I did love the scarf when I was done.. Hopefully it won’t give you as much heartache as it gave me.
OMG – I’m still laughing about Ian and “mauve socks”
You know, you’re preaching to the choir around here about being off. It’s why we dig your stuff so much, woman!
You seem to be a very speedy knitter. I bet you will have the hoodie done in no time. The socks can pass for gray.
OK, first I read the title as “a little time off” and thought the Harlot was shirking future postings. Whew. Not.
If one boy thinks the socks are mauve, all boys will too. You are screwed. Give them to another Harlot Gift Recipient.
there’s a reason that the Snowflake was on sale…it’s EVIL Quick, go for a drive in the car and abandon it on a country road. Go buy some yarn that will show some respect….BTW, I now own my LYS complete stock of Mexican Wave, and it’s all your fault!
Think of it as marketing. Definitely refer to the socks as “gray,” or maybe even “light gray.” Do not call the lace “lace,” but refer to it as “openwork clocks.”
And you can always shame him into putting on a good front if that doesn’t work. “I chose this pattern especially for you. Isn’t it perfect?!”
The fact is, the moment he puts on the socks he won’t want to take them off, and because they’re from you he’ll treasure them forever. Just watch, someday he’ll come to you and beg you to mend a hole in the big toe…
As for the Snowflake — have the rest of your family knit courtesy rows while you’re asleep.
Harlot dear, I just wanted to say that I read your piece in Knitlit Too and was laughing the whole time! I love your writing style. Yeah, totally unrelated to your post, but I wanted to share.
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