That’s it. I’m getting ahold of myself.

This is the Lotus Blossom Shawl that I’m completely in love with.

I have six rows left to go. According to the handy dandy shawl calculator found here (look in her sidebar) I have completed 90.5% of this shawl. (Juno was talking about how much she loves this. I concur. The thing is more fun than a 60% off sale on merino. Try it. You’ll spend hours calculating how far you have come, how far you have to go…and if you are like me, timing your speed per inch and working out how much time that means you have left to go on it. Obsessive? I think not. Try it before you judge me.) That means, if my math is correct, (and let’s hope that it is considering what it says about me if I can’t subtract 90.5 from 100 correctly) that I only have 9.5% to go.

9.5%. That’s it. Just under 1/10th. Is that right? I was helping Meg with “rational numbers” last night and the whole thing was making me irrational. When did they make grade nine math so hard? It’s humiliating to be standing there with a little kid and not be able to answer their math questions. She’s asking me all this stuff about “integers” and how positives and negatives work when you are multiplying and dividing them and it was all I could do to find this web page (thank you Lois Terms, whoever you are) and pour myself a little tiny glass of screech. (No ice please. Mummy doesn’t need this diluted.) Screech does not, for the record, make me a better mathematician, but it does take the sting out of telling her that I know that “two wrongs don’t make a right” so logically, two negatives shouldn’t make a positive. (Note: They do. They totally do. Every time. There’s no ethics involved at all.) This whole thing is shaping up like the year that I had to sneak into Amanda’s grade 5 classroom at 4:00 when the kids were gone, quietly close the door behind me and ask the teacher if she could take a minute to teach me long division so I would stop getting my arse kicked by a ten year olds homework. Good times, but I digress…

Even a math whiz like me can knows that shoving a shawl that is 90.5% finished into the back of the knitting basket is…well. Let’s just say that it’s not what a knitter who wants to wear a new shawl to Chicago would do. So I’m going to finish it. I’m not going to do what I did this morning and spend any more of my knitting time for this project calculating how much more of my knitting project remains.

Tonight I will watch the premiere of Survivor (again…do not judge me.) and I will finish this. 9.5%….here I come.

(Note: Yes. This was a diversion tactic to distract you from asking me about the corset. What corset? I don’t see a corset around here.)

PS. Sarah-the-wonder-publicist has given me a time and place for the Chicago stop. I’ll be at Arcadia Knitting, Saturday October 1st at 4pm. Save me a seat (and maybe a little sock yarn.)