I’m home now, and anxious to tell you stories of Michigan, Chicago, Bonne Marie and Rams…but filled with a burning need to tell you the start of the trip.
As I sat on the plane leaving for Chicago, I pulled my knitting from my bag, (a sock) and took out my i-shuffle and my water and began to organize myself. As I did so, a gentleman near me stared intently at my knitting needles.
“Hello”, I said, smiling…lots of people ask me about my knitting. I thought for sure that’s where this was headed.
“Are those metal?” he asked, gesturing at my 2mm needles.
“Yup” I said. (Should have thought that through. Why would a muggle care what my needles are made of? Hindsight being what it is…this should have been the first tip-off that we were headed for trouble.)
“I’m uncomfortable with those” he says.
“What, the knitting needles?” I answer. “They’re allowed items.” and I smiled again. I’m sure that I don’t have to tell you how far this friendly, gentle sort of straightening out goes 99% of the time.
Not today. Today the gentleman looks at me and says:
“Yes. The needles. You know…” he says to me, clearly feeling a need to elaborate, since I am starting to look at him with confusion…
“for terrorist reasons.”
Now, it’s possible that the look of shock on my face might have alarmed him. Perhaps it was the way that I choked on my water or stared at him with an incredulous look…but in any event, he obviously decided that I needed dealing with on a deeper level, since he pushed the call bell for the flight attendant.
She came right over and when “Cathy” arrived (name changed to protect the less than sparkling intellect of the participants) he gestured at me and my needles (which I was using for their intended purpose, thinking that this might alleviate some of the rampaging concern.) and waited for her to take action.
I waited too. This weenie was one thing, but flight attendants are another. They are highly trained professionals, smart cookies. Women and men of intelligence and substance. That’s why I was absolutely stunned when the flight attendant said something so stupid that the mind reeled.
“They let you through security with those?
Holy crap. Let’s think that through, shall we? Imagine the two possible answers to this question, and let’s decide what the most likely possibility is, shall we? Either:
A) Yes. They did. I passed through e-ray, I put my stuff on the belt, took off my shoes and I was screened the same exact way as every other human in this airport, and not only did they see these knitting needles on the screen, and allow me in with them, but they didn’t say squat about the two pairs of 14″ aluminum straights in my bag and the back-up set of dpns either. Like just about every other time I have flown, all they said to me upon seeing the whack of knitting needles strewn about my carry-on was… “Have a nice flight.” or the very occasional “My mum used to knit socks too.”
OR
B) No. No “Cathy”, security did NOT allow me through with these knitting needles. I had them “positioned” on my person and when I passed through the x-ray machine I told them it was a steel plate I have from the war. When they looked suspicious and snapped their latex gloves, I ran. I sprinted past the desk, abandoning my things in the search machine (having strategically removed all identifying materials ahead of time) and streaked through the airport, hiding briefly in a Starbucks to elude Homeland Security, then slunk through the back corridors of the airport, stepping in every puddle I could find avoid leaving a scent for the tracking dogs to use. I backtracked, made only left turns and briefly rappelled until I made it all the way to the gate where I used a counterfeit passport to sneak onto the plane, positioned myself next to some weenie and proceeded to celebrate that I..having certainly secured myself 15 years in prison, if not a violent shooting death upon the arrival of the aircraft, assuming of couse that I was not taken out by an Air Marshall long, long before we arrived….was able to …at long last……KNIT A (*&^%$#@!!!ing SOCK on a plane.
What do you think Cathy? What do you think Eh?
I thought better of either of these answers (the temptation was magnificent and sparkling) and instead I said. Yes. They allowed me on with these. They saw them. They didn’t mind. Yes.
“Cathy” looked at me then and said….”Ok. I’m sure it’s ok. If they said so…..” and smiled rather disarmingly at the weenie, who did not seem disarmed and proceeded to tell us how he felt, naturally, that I was not a terrorist, but that the needles could (and I quote the weenie here) “be used against” me.
I stared at him for a minute, then finished my round and Cathy if I could be reseated. She did so..after asking the passengers in the new seats if they minded a knitter nearby, but not before I had taken a very sneaky no-flash picture of the weenie’s feet to post here on the blog.
That’ll teach him. (It was the only revenge I could think of.)
Weenie.
hehehe.
Well, his leg shows it all … it just SCREAMS “wussie”. Good thing you took another seat … I’m sure there was much whimpering and crying and perhaps even thumbsucking by him throughout the flight. Ya know, like when they dished out the peanuts. Cuz ya know, there is salt on those … and that salt can be stuck to fingers and then “used against” (as in “stuck into the eyes” of) the original peanut eaters. How salty peanuts are allowed on planes is surely a shock to him as well!
How that man manages to tie his own shoes is surely a mystery.
You rock!
What a cowardly custard. Weenie.
That weenie will never be safe again, now that we know… what… his….shoes look like. Hm. Can we get a better description than ‘weenie’ so we can track him down?
A weenie whiner…
Good for you, depriving him of your witty and though-provoking conversation. Serves him right.
I carry the TSA list of prohibited items that states that knitting needles are allowed. It’s here: http://www.tsa.gov/interweb/assetlibrary/Permitted_Prohibited_9_6_2005.pdf
I also take along an padded mailing envelope and a priority mail stamp in case someone becomes heady with self righteous power and says I can’t bring on my specifically permitted knitting needles. Better to spend $3.85 US than lose my $15 Addi’s.
(While looking for this I found out you aren’t required to remove your shoes and yet the aforesaid self-righteousness did enter the body of Julie 489 in Providence, RI in January 2004, who screamed “She’s refusing to remove her shoes, put her in the box!” where upon I was “put in the box” and thoroughly searched (yes, all over) because I chose not to remove my Birks. (I asked if it was optional and was told it was….) I’ve already written to Mr Ridge about Julie 489. (I’m sure he reads every letter, aren’t you?)
ljh
He was worried you’d knit an Afghan.
*ahem* Weenie.
My favourite part is the attendant asking the new seat mates if they mined “a knitter” sitting near them. The mind boggles.
“No! NOOO! Good lord, the gentle clicking of the needles, I cannot endure it!”
oh dear god. Do people not have anything better to worry about? That guys needs to tell the voices in his head to shut it. Guh
Yes, it astounds me that they let me through security with those sharp metal dpns, but you know what? The Bureau of Engraving (in Washington DC) doesn’t allow knitting needles on their tour. The sign states no knitting needles along with other sharp pointy and dangerous objects. Though, they had a really really odd scanning machine which might have had a control room or something ’cause I didn’t even see a screen.
I had to come back sans sock in progress. Well, maybe they wouldn’t have caught the pair on bamboo dpns but one would think… Someone was watching. Probably. Given $37 million+ sitting in a stack on the floor behind what was probably bulletproof glass.
What will book #3 be titled. How about “The Misadventures of the Yarn Harlot…Crazy Tales from the Yarn Crawl”. Is that the weenies hand? What could he be looking for? Perhaps checking to be sure that you didn’t load the seat backs with weapons before you were relocated.
Oh my goodness…would he have objected if they had been wooden needles, I wonder?
Perhaps he was attacked by a crazed knitter at one time in his life? Who can say. I’m glad they re-seated you and that ended the problem.
Last time I flew, no one, and I mean no one questioned anything. Like you said, most people ask me what I’m knitting, but no one has ever felt threatened. Even if my circulars would prove to be a fine garrote.
Yes Weenie is definately a rather pathetic weenie, but you almost have to feel sorry for him……… he has certainly never had anyone handknit him anything or known a knitter or he would realise that no one is going to be taking needles away from a knitter for terrorist purposes or otherwise.
I lost a pair of cheaper needles on the plane once. That was almost a year after the ruling was changed so that they were allowed. The nerve of some people.
Sheesh. What a weenie.
Can’t wait to hear more!
The worst part is that now this man (who is most certainly American… as am I, ease up) will write his congressman about the untold dangers of knitting needles on planes. then, there will be a huge national drama. pro and anti-knitting rallies will be held on the mall in Washington (and during one, a crazed knitter will stab a non-knitter in the leg and all the non-knitters will scream “see, see what they do!!! they are evil. you are either with the knitters or agaist them” and people will hide their Lorna’s Laces socks in shame) the new supreme court nominee will have to find a way to successfully avoid answering any questions about knitting because there is a huge lawsuit (weenie vs. harlot) working its way throught the federal judicial system. while waiting on a decision about the usefulness of knitting needles in terrorist acts (hello, take the size one bamboo needle and break it if he threatens you with it), airport screeners will be forced to confiscate all needles. this will cause thousands of knitters to go to jail as they scream “please just let me keep the wool!!!!! it was $30 a skein, please” then our prisons will be even more overcrowded. and no one will know the joy of handmade clothes. and our lives will be empty….
The weenie needed a demo of 24″ circs. Goodness knows what he would have thought of those. And you might have been tempted to use them that way.
Peanuts are dangerous. There was an episode of Airline! (Southwest Airlines reality tv) who had a passenger who was severely allergic to peanut dust. Instead of telling the crew when he got on, he figured it’d be somehow magically on the passenger manifest without assigned seating. Needless to say, this guy went into allergic mode and almost had to inject himself with a big fat long needle. Ok, enough of my fascination with airline reality tv.
There are people who mind the click of the needles. They are probably not knitters.
You gotta use your “Are you a moron” look. If in doubt, go ask one of your daughters how to give the “are you a moron w/o eyeroll” face. Eyerolls make you lose credibility.
Oh dear God, please save us from the truly stupid. Hello? They don’t let anyone on the plane without passing through security – what an idiot. Weenie indeed. Jeeze. You should have told him that you had a ball point pen in your purse too, that probably would have made him uncomfortable as well.
I also carry a copy of the TSA approved list when flying in the US. When I went to Canada, I wasn’t sure, so I packed my knitting in checked luggage. 🙁 I think you should carry a mechanical pencil, Steph. One of those metal ones architects and engineers use. That’s much more dangerous than any knitting needle — even 0000s!
LOL! I’m imagining some terribly misguided terrorist, trying to rend the needles from you. The poor soul wouldn’t stand a chance.
Sheesh. Weenie is right. And I wonder how many people looked at “Cathy” like she’d grown a second head when she asked them if they minded having a knitter nearby. Oh my! But really, you know, Option B really did kind of sound like it would make a good movie. “Yarn Harlot on the Run”
obviously weenie doesn’t know any knitters. we may look fierce sometimes, jabbing strands of wool with our teenie weenie (ha!) needles when picking up stitches for a toe-up sock, but good lord!
Not muggle Steph…knuggle. 😀
BTW I just read your new book, it’s hilarious! And I wanted to remind you that there’s 82 days until Christmas. Maybe this year you can stop “IT”!
Oh dear God, what a freaking moron. Does he not understand that you would have been more dangerous had Cathy taken away your needles? Hey, from the looks of those shoes I bet he was wearing a tie. Did he know he could be choked with it? That his own tie could be use “used against him”?
Twit.
Karlie cracked me right up. Knit an Afghan. Heh heh heh.
Good for you! Damn weenie…
You know, when I went to Austin two weeks ago, I was waiting for my plane in the Saint Louis airport, knitting a sock, and a guy (the same guy?!?) came up to me and gave me basically the same speech. He wasn’t even on my flight, not to mention I was using BAMBOO needles that I had purchased for the express reason of not having any issues carrying them onto a plane.
He just wanted to come out of nowhere and start something because he felt if he couldn’t bring a metal nailfile on the plane, then why on earth should I be allowed to have teeny tiny size 3 bamboo knitting needles?
too bad the weenine doesn’t have one
Maybe if you offered to poke him in the eye as a testement to the hamrless nature of the needles he might have been quiet, lol.
I think you should’ve had a weenie roast right there on the plane. You could’ve skewered him on one, and I’m sure someone managed to get a lighter past security.
I probably would’ve whipped out a spare circ and said something about garotting, myself. [/snark]
Excellent. Definitely a weenie. I can tell from the shoes. I just don’t think, as others have said, that someone taking needles away from a knitter knows the consequences. Those airline pillows could make a wonderful gag.
Heh. I would have been tempted to ask him if he had a pen on him – since you could use those about the same as a knitting needle, if you had terrorists intents in mind.
I remember many years ago coming back through a British airport and being asked if anything in my luggage could be used as a weapon. My problem was I couldn’t think of anything in my luggage that could NOT be used as a weapon by a determined person.
I can only imagine what he’d have said if you’d been working on a fine guage something on circs! pointy things… with a garrotte in the middle!
Weenie.
I’m so proud of you for not saying “Yes, they’re metal, and if you talk to me, or call the stew, I’ll jab one into your ear and other in your eye to defend myself from you, who are clearly a terrorist”
i see the title of the book down the line; travels with socks and spineless weenies!
i hope his socks never fit him and his feel always hurt.
marie
out of florida in texas
ps when i flew to texas i didn’t try to bring on my goods, stowed em in the luggage; but; i did make the cab driver at the airport wait while i got stuff out so i could knit on the drive to the house.
The thing I wonder about, though perhaps that would have gone over this guy’s head as well, is how people are worried about DPNs but not pencils or pens. Because basically a dpn is no sharper (and indeed, often duller) than a pencil.
any security guy/gal will tell you that you can use almost anything as a weapon if you want to. Maybe you could have pointed out that you felt uncomfortable about his belt, because that could be taken from him and used to strangle you?
Never underestimate the potential for stupidity on the part of other people.
He said ‘they (the needles) could be used against me’ – did he mean you using them against him or he using them against you? In the latter case, shouldn’t he have been physically restrained as a potential (idiot) terrorist-wannabe?
Weenine – my word for a cross of a whiner and a weenie
What a story….. what a weenie.I loved your response for Option B.
Weenie? *weenie?* Oy. The Canuck microchip is set pretty high, is it? In my world he would have received the death ray stare along with a stream of burst-into-flame sarcasm… and be called a dumbass in the bargain.
But, hey, I’m just a mouthy Yank. 😉
Karlie’s DBF: “knit an afghan” Thanks for the laugh!
A complete and irredeemable weenie. Looks like he’s looking for the airsick bag… You did well to relocate!
Of course, this comes mere days before I go from Salt Lake City to Kansas City and I have a sock on 1s that want to come with me. And with my luck, my ‘weenie’ will be a hysterical woman who is Christian in name only but uses it to tout her opinion like a mace (the medieval sort).
Of course, this comes mere days before I go from Salt Lake City to Kansas City and I have a sock on 1s that want to come with me. And with my luck, my ‘weenie’ will be a hysterical woman who is Christian in name only but uses it to tout her opinion like a mace (the medieval sort).
Here’s hoping you never meet the weenie again. What an idiot, he’s just not man enough to take a gut wound with a knitting needle, that’s what I say.
Clearly, the weenie has issues. I’m betting his ex-wife is a knitter.
What a weiner. I WISH I could get a seat next to a respectable knitter on a flight rather than the ones that have to visit the bathroom 18 times and stand up in front of the tv screen during the movie. Those are the real terrorists!
Oh, Stephanie, he was a weenie.
I have my own idiot/knitting needles/flying story. I was flying home to NS a few months ago and just sitting in my seat, minding my own business and knitting on a scarf for my mother. I was using Denise needles, if that makes any difference. We hit a bit of turbulance and the captain immediately turned on the seatbelts sign. Before I even had a chance to blink, the attendant yelled at me (so everyone could hear) “Ma’am, put those dangerous objects away”.
I don’t know what pissed me off more – the fact that she called me ma’am or the fact that she made me put my knitting away and humiliated me.
Gotta love Air Canada.
Do you get the impression that this “weenie” probably still lives with his parents, hasn’t had a date in years, wears choo choo train pajamas and could likely quote every Star Trek episode word for word?
Personally, I find his shoes threatning…I can’t believe they let him past security with those things….Quick! Go get Kathy!!!!
You Go Harlot!!
Are we knitters ever going to be understood?
Good job for taking the high road and not causing a fight (thought I’m sure you wanted to, heck I would too!). Can’t wait to hear about the rest of your rtip, I hope that weenie didn’t spoil it!!!
Good for you! They wouldn’t let me inside Kennedy Space Center with my sock on my circulars. I guess they thought I was going to pull down one of the rockets in the rocket garden.
I did have someone give me a “look” as I pulled out my dpn and sock. I just looked them in the eye then kept on knitting. I would have loved to have you sit next to me on the plane.
Love the blog.
I know how you feel. I have recently flown to Canada and back and flew over the big pond to Germany and took my knitting with me, socks naturally. Upon returning home via Brussels, they would not let me take my knitting on board. Luckily our bags were still in our possession and I was able to put hubby’s sock and needles in such. Used your line and told the guy I would probably be more of a danger without knitting to keep me occupied for the eight plus hour trip home.
“They could be used against me.”
Maybe his mother or grandmother spanked him with her knitting needles when he was a little boy. Or worse. As much as a weenie as he seems to be, there could be a very good reason for his fear of knitting needles. Post-traumatic stress disorder makes people act oddly.
There’s no excuse for the stewardess, however. She’s a blithering idiot who needs to learn her job.
Hey, buddy, the needles are only 14 inches long and there are two seats between us. What I could do is fashion this yarn into a lasso and *strangle* you with it. Koigu may be thin but it’s got a pretty good tensile strength.
I can see the signs now…
Fie on the Fleece Artist
Careful of the Koigu
Mind the merino
A complete and utter wanker
A complete and utter wanker!
I would have demanded that Cathy check him for mechanical pencils, CDs (they could be broken in half and used to cut you!), his tiepin (sharper than a dpn) and any other items that you might object to him having! What a weenie, for sure.
Just another example of what the culture of fear has done to people. If you tell people enough times that they’re in danger anywhere, from anyone, many begin to believe they’re in danger everywhere, from everyone. They stop thinking. and the scariest part is that that’s when “authority” can swoop in and begin to mess with individual freedoms and rights.
Good for you for asking to be reseated. I would have added that I felt in danger from the weenie’s stupidity – it had just been used against you, after all – but that’s just me. 🙂
Put the weenie in bookbookbook3!!! Under “Idiots I have met.” That rates right up with the woman who once asked me if I was knitting a scarf. Now normally this question would not annoy me, except I was doing the final toe decreases on a sock. It looked pretty sock-like at that point. Of course, I did once see a pattern for a scarf that had socks dangling off of it…..
Really, the plane adventure really takes the cake. Maybe that is why I always use bamboo needles. They may not be construed as a terrorist weapon, but if I get attacked by vampires, I am set!!
Oh me oh my — I heard this story once in Chicago, and it’s just gotten better! That evil, evil Weenie Foot.
And I second knuggles! That is too good!
I am so delighted you posted the picture of his feet!
What. A. Weenie!
Hmm. Perhaps we should all make voodoo dolls of the weenie and spend a few minutes poking at him with our needles? I can just see it; he’s on another plane somewhere wondering “Why am I feeling these weird prickles and bumps? Ow! Is there a…. KNITTER near me???”
I think that this is a good arguement for having a “Knitters Only” section! Of course we would need the seats wide enough to knit with ease!! Just think of it….only knitters to have airplane conversation with….no one to say things like the weenie did. We need to start a petition! LOL
Down with the anti knitting weenie!
Oh my gosh. This poor guy. He’s seated next to the most famous knitter in North America and he doesn’t know it, and WORSE, the only thing he can think of to say is “I’m uncomfortable with those needles?” Isn’t that like being seated next to Yo Yo Ma and saying, “I’m uncomfortable with that cello.” Or being seated next to John Irving (who is strapped in by a seat belt, no less) and all you can think of saying is, “I’m uncomfortable with that yellow pad you keep writing on.” If I ever get the seat next to the Harlot, I’m seriously going to be asking what she thinks about the difficult double decrease!
This is why I always travel with bamboo circular or the vintage nylon circular needles. I’ve traveled within the US, from the US to Europe, around Europe and from Europe to the US with no problems. However, my sister, who was travelling from Spain to the US with one of my treasured vintage nylon size 9 circular needles, had her knitting and my needles confiscated in Madrid!!! does anyone know where to find nylon circular needles????
I had this same thought when we recently flew internationally. I was so nervous that someone would confiscate my knitting that I put them on bamboo needles. The ironic thing is that in my haste to pack up to go home, I put some souvenirs in my carry on. While going through security, they stopped me. Oh I thought, now I am done they are going to take my needles. Nope it was not the knitting needles but a letter opener that we bought as a gift. I couldnt believe how dumb I was packing that. I explained my moment of stupidity and told them I totally understood if they had to take it. After a brief discussion with another person they let me go! Ha!! To bad that weenie wasnt on my flight, I could have taken out my letter opener and opened some mail and really sent him reeling!!!!
Ugh. I’ve had similar experiences with weenies. What you can never tell them is that ANYTHING can be a weapon in the hands of a motivated/determined person.
I may drive a shard of my plastic drinking glass into neck of the next weenie…. accidentally, of course.
You can’t spend your entire life in a mental fetal position, being afraid.
Maybe it was a remnant from his childhood with Joan Crawford: “NO METAL NEEDLES!! NO METAL NEEDLES!!
You done good, Stephanie
I flew to and from the UK last Christmas, knitting socks on a set of sanded and polished wooden pick-up sticks. No one said a word.
Okay this guy is a nut!
You would think he could take the small lady with the needles — but he must be a wimp if he is worried about those tiny dpns.
Now for the real question – How was Indiana??
Just a Hoosier wondering about your trip here – I so wished I lived closer to South Bend, IN.
Why are knitters never on flights that I work? Yes, carry the TSA form, (I do), and keep on smiling. F/A’s like no drama and if you smile it helps.
Right after 9-11, I was flying to London and it was a three day trip. No way was I going to be without my knitting for three days. Unlike passengers, F/A’s don’t check their luggage, so I did the next best thing and put my bamboo circulars in my bra, hoping I wasn’t going to get patted down. Never did have a problem at all. I always will have my knitting. Even during an emergency evacuation, Guess what I will be bringing down the slide?
I still get looks of terror when I bring out my knitting when I fly, but I always tell people that before a terrorist can use my needles, he will have had to take them from my hands and out of my project. Not a chance in hell.
We finally get to see the weenie’s feet after hearing your story. If he is from Chicago, I apologize that you were exposed to such a weenie. We try to hide them as much as possible.
(Oh, that does not sound right.)
can we hope that mr weenie’s next 12 flights will find him as the only non-knitter aboard? with knitters passing skeins of yarn and swapping needles all flights long! i hope he has dreams of knitters in his sleep!and breaks out in a rash from wool.
love how your mind works! wish my thoughts would go the way yours do!
Of course this was long pre-9/11, but I once had a seatmate on a flight from Washington DC to London who insisted on regaling me with tales of his exploits as a CIA officer. YEAH, RIGHT. I listened as long as I could stand it, and then I whispered conspiratorially: “I’m carrying a chip to the UK. A COMPUTER chip.” He didn’t believe me. I opened my purse and pulled it out. He did not say ANOTHER WORD to me. It was the truth. I was carrying a computer chip from the National Captioning Institute to the BBC, so their computer system would work with my translation system. It was a hoot. But your weenie was a weenie. No question about it.
Oh dear;
I’m flying in two days.
Are bamboo DP’s going to make it thru?
Weenie, weenie, weenie. As Kat said, the leg says it all.
So, it was “B” right? :-).
The TSA here in the US began allowing knitting needles on board back in April 2002. Flight attendants at the time indicated they were glad to see some relaxation of the restrictions and see knitters back on board.
They don’t allow sharp pointed scissors, or the pendants that cut yarn, but will now allow blunt scissors.
The Weenie deserves to not only have his feet on the internet, but to be ostracized by all socks in the continent! Socks unite against knitting biggots!
ps…tell the next mr weenie..that you’re uncomfortable with the pens in his pocket as well…they’re taught in self defense classes to be used in the neck.
Okay, Harlot, I’m going to give you my theory on weenies. I’d like to call it a law, as it has never been wrong, but science is a tricky mistress. Anyway.
Weenie has a small penis. This is the answer to the tassels on his shoes and his fear of knitting needles. When ever a bloke acts like an ass to me at work (I work at a department store), I don’t worry if “it was me”, as I know it’s just because he has little man syndrome. There you go.
Yeah, I had to ‘surrender’ my teeny Gingher scissors recently. $20 scissors! For another retaliatory option, check out what I did on public transportation yesterday:
http://femiknitmafia.blogspot.com/2005/10/worlds-collide-knitout-part-2.html
What a butt! Doesn’t he know that we’re not supposed to live in fear of terrorists? Sheesh! Take that fancy shoes man!
I wish you were kidding.
You are clearly a dangerous womna. Dangerous indeed.
Every time a knitter is pestered by a weenie, the terrorists win!!
Yeesh.
I think I must have had the same flight attendant on my flight when my bamboo 14″ US10 needles slid out of my bag and rolled down the aisle of the very small plane.
“Whose are these??”
“Oh! Mine… sorry.”
“They let you through security with these?!?”
Um… yes. Paranoid weenies.
What gets me is that he was three seats away! Good lord!! What does he do, get on a plane and immediately begin a scan of the vicinity for someone to harass?
I admire you for not poking him with your needles. Of course, then you might have gotten weenie cooties on your knitting….and no one wants that.
If he was honestly afraid of *sock needles*, he has some pretty serious issues. Methinks a ball point pen would do far more damage in the hands of a terrorist than a size 1 DPN.
Oh you are kind… weenie is way to nice of a name to call him! Clearly he isn’t getting handknit socks for the holidays this year! You should of told him that if he thinks these can be used “against him” just wait until he sees what you can do with a pair of nail clippers!!! 🙂
This weenie likely COULD quote every Star Trek episode ever made. It’s the old problem: a little knowledge is a dangerous thing – he thinks he’s the first person to ever figure out that a knitting needle could be used as a weapon, and it’s now his mission to educate everyone about this obvious security lapse. He probably also lectures the people at the Starbucks booth that their milk will go bad if it’s left out on the ledge like that.
Drat! I thought you were going to tell me about beanie weenies, but this guy’s just a weenie. I’ll bet you those shoes are actually twice as big as his feet, and that he has a very tiny…sock…What a wuss. Good for you for holding your ground. I hope he’s hexed nightly with bad dreams of knitting needles coming after him. Weenie indeed. Teeny weenie. Teensy, Eensy, Teeny Weenie.
I had a similar experience when knitting on a plane with bamboo DPNs. The weenie in the opposite window seat from me (four seats and an aisle away) called the flight attendant over and talked to her while glancing over at me. She walked over to me and asked, “Are those plastic?” I replied, “No, they’re bamboo.” She didn’t say another word to me, and I later her saw her talk to the weenie again, but I do wonder what would’ve happened if they had been metal.
Of course, metal dpns can be used against you. Mine are used against me every freakin’ time I flop into my knitting chair without looking first.
You *did* lose one as you slid past the weenie on your way to the “knitter friendly” aisle, din’t ya, Steph?
I probably would’ve said, “Lighten up, Francis.”
It’s a movie quote. http://forums.groundspeak.com/GC/index.php?showtopic=59417&hl=hulka
I lost a pair of these last year: http://www.slivergrippers.com/
They were okay with US security, but the German security (on the way back) said no. I was in a hurry, and I told the woman that I was mad about losing a $5 pair of really good tweezers, and I could see that she set them aside, presumably for herself. I’m actually kind of glad she got them, rather than them just being lost in a bin somewhere. (BTW, they’re more for splinters and thorns than anything else.)
I’d have been sorely tempted to lose a spare dpn when he got up to use the restroom, to see if he could say “arse” correctly when he came back and sat down…
Hah! Lynneski beat me to it!
In 2003 (if memory serves), I flew into Canada with circular knitting needles on the plane, but the Canadian security guys made me pack them on the way out of Canada. (Ottawa airport)…fortunately, they didn’t make me throw them!
You should have pointed it at him and said “Oh, you think that these are dangerous weapons of mass destruction? Say something stupid again, and these needles won’t be able to save you after I’m done slamming your stupid head against the seat so that we can all have a peaceful flight home!” (smile) Hope he never needs a pair of handknit socks! Weirdo is what I say…
That man has ugly shoes and he wears plain black socks, how could he dare appreciate the art of knitting and the joy of colored socks? When I take my knitting on board this Friday, it will be the brightest colored project I can muster and I will knit in honor of the big weenie, you know…for terrorist reasons.
I am a 265 pound, large, mean looking bastard. I went to Las Vegas this weekend, and had a pair of very large “US 17” plastic needles with me on my backpack. I also took my needles out, and started to do my work, the smart FA came by smiled and asked what was I working on. I am glad weenie was not on my plane. It would have been such a waste to lose my needles up his a#@**
I suppose he’s never heard the phrase “Paranoia will destroy ya”! Weenie.
Weenie must have seen Flightplan before his trip.
I’m sure a perky “How’d you like to see what I can do to your dangly bits with two rubber bands and a plastic knife?” would have shut him up.
thank goodness, you didn’t mention the need of a tetanus shot, if he did get a penetrating stab wound. We will keep quiet about that.
Oh for the love of…does he not realize you are more dangerous *without* the knitting? If you didn’t have something to keep your hands/mind busy you would be pondering the best way to choke him with a skein of *insert least-favorite yarn here*? (because you would not want to waste good fiber on such a…weiniemeister). What a jackass.
Now now, don’t waste the yarn on strangling him… use your shoelaces instead.
I’m positive your weenie is the same weenie that turned around on our flight from Washington DC to Minneapolis and informed me that “the child” sitting next to me (my five year old) had better not kick his seat or he’d protest. I wish you’d have poked him!
I’ll never forget my trip/flight to Cleveland last year…I was pulled to the side along with a new mother holding her fussy baby. They made her empty her entire diaper bag only to reveal DP’s with the cutest pair of itty bitty baby socks in the works. I had to empty my bag for a toddler hat on a set of bamboo needles. The horror! Fear is the biggest Weenie!
Man, his legs just scream Rush Limbaugh to me – the weeniest of weenies. There’s so many wonderful things that one wants to say in such a situation – I’m proud of you for holding your tongue and not making the situation worse. Would have been breifly fun though! ; )
I can draw more blood with my fingernails than with a crochet hook or knitting needles. Will they make Weenie nervous too? Sheesh!
I guess “Putz” would be the Yiddish translation for the more polite Canadian “Weenie”. Same part of the anatomy.
It would have gotten you removed from the plane, but wouldn’t it have been tempting to look the dolt square in the eye and say, “If I could figure out just how to hijack this plane with my knitting needles, you know what? I deserve to! And you know what, Putz? Me, you and this sock are heading to CUBA!!!1!!”
You’re lucky Annie Jacobsen wasn’t on your flight. She would have written three articles and made four television appearances about the Terror From The North in Our Skies.
Someone wake me up when the paranoia ends, please.
I wonder if the weenie’s ballpoint pens were let through? You could do some real damage with those, y’know.
I heard a story about Lily Chin taking an old resin/plastic circular needle and stringing some beads on it post-9/11… she wore it through security as a necklace and proceeded to knit once on board!
I always carry bamboo on the plane.
What a PANSY he was!
Damn the uneducated masses! It’s people like Mr. Weenie that cause the knee-jerk reactions/decisions regarding all thing Homeland Security, i.e. The Patriot Act. *end rant*
god. those shoes! noooooooooo!
I wonder what that guy is doing right now and whether he feels “it”. I bet he does. I bet he is lying in bed somewhere, unable to sleep due to a feeling of unease that he can’t really place. Little does he know, this is the feeling of being the most hated guy on the inTarweb. 😛
Weenie indeed. Knitters, we’re such a subversive lot and a threat to civilized society. Oh the havoc we could create with some wool and DPNs. It boggles the mind.
(“knitting an afghan” – brilliant)
Is this what could happen to us if the CBC remains locked out for too long? Weenie watches far too much FOX news or CNN. . .
I hope you’re still wearing that Quiz Kids tee.
You should have taken your working yarn, performed a double yarnover around his neck and adjusted your tension. (You wouldn’t have needed those dangerous needles to perform this stitch.)
I have never had trouble on a plane, but I had to check my Addi turbos with security when doing jury duty in OJ-ville (LA criminal courts bldg.) I tried to explain that it was OK with Homeland Security to bring needles on board a plane, but for us potentially deranged jurors, LA County Sheriff is STRICT!
It would have been hilarious if you proceeded to take ALL of your metal knitting needles out of your bag, hand them to your seatmates, and have a lesson on how to knit on the plane. The weenie would have been surrounded! I’m surprised the yarn itself didn’t freak him out – thinking terrorists would use it for choking.
Now, what you really should have done was made him a weenie warmer – all of 2 inches long, with a drawstring in case it was too big – then given it to him as you disembarked with a big friendly grin.
The ultimate knitter’s revenge…..
But, you so clearly look like a terrorist! Next question – what does a terrorist look like? Probably , like a weenie!
Seriously , here in England, British Airways officially allows metal needles on their flights now.However, when you arrive at Heathrow, there are still official signs saying that metal needles are not allowed. There seems to be no coordination. I stick to bamboo!
That poor weenie is suffering from ‘My mother never taught me how to knit when I was little’ syndrome. He’s just a jealous weenie. Have pity.
Ugh! His shoes are waaayy too shiny!
Weenie.
ok this bothers me on 2 levels.
one — that some idiot was really paranoid enough to complain about the needles. c’mon — a ball point pen can be just as much of a weapon as 2mm dpns!!!
two — that the flight attendant was ok once she asked you if you were allowed on with them. in an “oh ok if you say so mr crazy man with wires sticking out of the ticking bag” sorta way.
they’re both weenies!
Just goes to show you the dwindling intelligence of the country I live in. It sure would have been fun to be on that plane with you. You should have told him he was an idiotic weenie and if he was sooooo scared of terrorists he should stay home and duct tape shrink wrap around his house…heh
I think the weenie got off easy! I would have gone on and on about how this country would “unravel” if not for socks. I’m sure I’d have been thrown off or worse though 😛
Personally, I don’t quite understand some of the restricted items. Last time my husband and I flew, he was let on with a leatherman and my insulin needles were confiscated. (needless to say they gave them back later, after I explained that if they didn’t allow me to get insulin in to my body that they could have one heck of a medical problem on their hands, I guess they thought insulin could be delivered through osmosis)
I just finished your book. Absolutely love it! Thanks for giving me some great laughs (and uncomfortable truths too lol)
Waaaaay before 9/11, I took a set of bamboo knitting needles and yarn to while away time on jury duty. Security took ’em. I said they’d break if anyone tried to use them for stabbing. Security guy said “not before they puncture someone.” I made him keep the whole bag cause the yarn wasn’t any good without the needles. Half way through the day, he returned the whole thing, bamboo needles and all, saying his superiors approved thier use. Maybe it was all the fidgeting and asking questions and pestering those around me since I had nothing else to do.
I could probably do more damage to him with a ball point pen than with my knitting needles.
I would have to be sedated if I had to fly anywhere without my knitting. Better yet, I’ll take the train – more time to knit!
Yes he is an idiot but at least you are allowed to take you knitting on the plane. ew are still not allowed knitting needles on flights form Guernsey to the mainland. The week they were due to relax the rules we had the tube bombing in London and they have left things as they are:-(
I had to smuggle my socks on bamboo DP’s through security so that I would have some thing to knt on the train when I got to England as I didn’t have any luggage to check in. Talk about feeling like a criminal, I kept expecting someone to yell freeze and shove me up against a wall or something!
I think I’ve met that guy…his name was Turd Ferguson.
Good for you for moving. Total muggle.
Steph,
it’s one of those times when you need to set aside your natural canadian ‘nice’ and go noo yawk for a hot minute. tough noogies to him and you should have sat where you were. Or asked that the flight attendant move HIM. I don’t think we should feed jackasses’ sense of entitlement. that’s one of the ways your neighbors here (south of the border) ended up with a president so accurately described by your regrettably former federal official. heh.
you were indeed gracious but sometimes fangs behind a sweet smile are more appropriate. Plant that fine canadian fanny and ignore the bugger.
hugs,
caroline
Another thing just occurred to me. What is that large pointy stick thing under the seat in front of him? He’s complaining about sock needles when he has a stick? And, honestly, if I were on that flight, my needles might’ve been dangerous. I’d look for any kind of rust or dirt I could find on the plane, coat my needles in it, and hopefully give him a really bad infection. So yeah, it could be dangerous. But then again, so are teeth 😛 Not to mention, those food carts weigh 200 pounds….and the hot water, you know. And heaven forbid the man choke on his tassles when I shoved the shoes down his throat.
Recently on our way back from Ireland (where I had no idea, frankly, whether it was kosher to carry knitting needles onto planes) I was busily knitting in my seat when a lanky male flight attendant walked by, did a double take, and said, “Are those KNITTING NEEDLES?” My husband blanched, no doubt picturing the scene that would develop were my needles forcibly taken away, leaving me with nothing to knit and an eight-hour flight. I nodded. “Well, come on,” the attendant said, “let me see what you’re making.” I held it up–a top-down sweater in Koigu. “Great yarn,” he said. “Have you read Stitch-N-Bitch?” We discussed knitting in depth for several minutes…he had some really good pointers to share.
I had a very similar experience, although it involved not 1 but 2 flight attendants (because the first one couldn’t identify what I was doing with the ‘sticks’). Since I had transferred flights in Atlanta, they deemed the Newark securtiy less secure than Atlanta but let me continue knitting my socks – on bamboo needles. I’ve not had a whisper of trouble since, but I still carry the TSA list of approved ‘devices’.
Just for my own curiosity, did the weenie end up sitting all by himself in his row sit; if so I suspect power abuse… Pretends he’s “concerned” so he can take controle of his seating area, restrict other people’s freedom and feel powerful. Whatever it is, it’s still weeniish.
by the way, love you bookS!
I”m sure that guy voted for Bush twice and still thinks that he did the right thing. I haven’t had any problems in our tiny little TX airport–usually the security people ask lots of questions about the yarn. In fact, the last time I flew they were actually much more interested in the woman behind me who was travelling with a sewing machine! Glad that my fiber obsession is portable.
Yes, Houston, we have a problem. Many of the problems we are dealing with today, have been caused by unrational fear. Where will it go from here?
Did they have pretzels on this plane?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/cbbcnews/hi/world/newsid_1759000/1759093.stm
WEENIE! Yeesh. I arrived here on the ROCK (Newfoundland) on Saturday night. I’m very cautious about what knitting I take on the plane and brought a sock that is on Pony Pearl needles (plastic with metal inside, I believe). Only one lady commented on them and it was more out of interest in my knitting than fear…
HOWEVER you can imagine my horror when I unpacked my backpack at my hotel in St. John’s and discovered I had flown with a razor-blade-type box cutter in my bag (I’m here on business and needed it to open boxes that were waiting for me at the hotel – it was supposed to be in my suitcase!). I went into full on panic mode and started imagining photos of myself showing up on television screens all over Canada.
You tell the weenie that and see how much he quivers in his booties.
and he should know better then to mess with any woman carrying knitting needles.Especially yarn harlot,if he only knew how many knitters he’s upset.what kind of man is afraid of sock needles anyway?
That is too funny! My poor mother in law (we just got back from a trip with her and she just recently got back into knitting) was too worried to bring her needles on board despite my assurance that it was perfectly acceptable, even allowed in the TSA manual (and they were plastic!). I happily knitted my sock on the way home while she sat needleless. Maybe she’ll give it a shot next time.
It is a testament to how kind and gentle Canadians are that you did not call him something worse than “weenie.”
Either that, or you’re just not telling us what you were really calling him…
Man, what am I going to do about the flight to France to visit the inlaws…
Wow, Steph. I sympathize. I travel frequently for my job and always carry my knitting bag, but so far have only packed circulars, not dpns. (Don’t work with straights, so that’s never been a problem.) I can tell you just about every airport from Ottawa west which gives me the “is she or isn’t she?” onceover – and without a doubt, the hardest airport to get knitting needles through (and winter boots) is Saskatoon. Who knew that Saskatoon in January had the potential to be a terrorist entry-point? And that I appear suspicious with my knitting bag, computer and bag of files? Bet the weenie had his laptop with him – whack someone over the head with that and it might not be pretty.
Eeeck.
OMG! Every time I go online these days, I find another reason to want to hide my head because I’m an American. If y’all’s snow wasn’t so deep, I’d move up there in a heartbeat.
At least you exercised tact…I’d have whipped out the 14-inchers and given the guy a crash course in perspective…and then of course been forced to spend the rest of the flight under supervision.
I took bamboos to Japan, knit happily on the long flight and on bullet trains throughout the country, only to be told upon departure from Tokyo that I would need to check them. The first thing I saw after checking my needles and going through security? A souvenir stand featuring large bamboo chopsticks!
You’ll all be interested to know that drop spindles and Navaho spindles are ALSO dangerous weapons. My Navaho spindle was almost confiscated because it looked “dangerous”–you know, one end is pointy. It had made it on the plane from Denver to Phoenix with some serious scrutiny from security, but the gate attendant at Phoenix wanted to keep it. I was able to convince him that Denver security thought it was ok, so he agreed to let the flight attendants decide. Fortunately they were busy as I boarded and I got it into the overhead bin before they saw it. As I was leaving the plane, they said “Wait at minute—you got on board with THAT?!?” I said yes, smiled, and left. Close call.
I heard this in Chicago, but it gains so much when one sees his ridiculous shoes.
I love “knuggles” (the word, not always the people)!
I haven’t had any problems flying out of Chicago, Ottawa or New York. I approach it now as a challenge with my copy of the TSA rules in my knitting bag. Go ahead and try to tell me that I can’t bring my knitting with me! You will have the largest scene from a peaceful knitter with all the bad press to go along with it!
I’ve also resorted to bringing toe-nail clippers with me for when I need to cut the yarn. It’s on the approved list so there should be no problems.
I’d rather sit next to a quiet knitter any day than a business man taking up too much room and reading a paper that invades my tiny space. Or those lovely old women that just insist on praying out loud for the entire flight and end up scaring the bejeezes out of me!
I’ve got jury duty next week and in their letter they sent it said no knitting needles allowed. Couthouses and airplanes must both be full of weenies!!!
Holy Smokes, I just got back from a trip to San Antonio stopping in Houston and boy did I get the same reaction too! And that’s coming and going. I was knitting a baby hat on dps and mostly got, “They let you on the plane with those!?” And then they continued to stare or watch me the entire flight. One crazy woman actually said she was going to keep an eye on me. Dumb people suck!
I agree with Erin.. just let some terrorist try to get those needles out of you hands to use them for harm!! I’d like to see em try!! heheheh
You need one of Franklin’s t shirts!!(altered slightly of course 4 needles.. 2 eyes don’t mess with a woman who knits socks..)
Ya know, a sharp pencil can also be deadly. One jab in the jugular and it’s all over. In fact, as a kid, I was stabbed in the hand with the eraser end of a pencil!
There’ve been countless times I’ve been on the Metro on my way in to work where people’ve complained to me about how my Denise needles could be used as weapons. I then tell them if they don’t like me knitting they can move. That usually shuts them up.
Sorry Mr Poopyhead was such a jackass.
Between the weenie guy, the FA, security measures that don’t make sense and other odd things American, I’m beginning to think that a run for the border isn’t a bad idea. As for winter, we get more snow than Toronto, so that would be a break. You handled the situation with much grace…atta girl!
A couple of years ago, I smuggled knitting needles on board by using 24″ circs tucked under my underwire bra. No one said a word once I got past security. They certainly would have if I’d have lost it because of _not_ having my knitting.
Oh Yarn Harlot-I’m so very disappointed in your help line! Everything was her/she/woman/women/etc etc—-WHAT ABOUT US GUYS THAT KNIT? I expected so much more from you. Pls don’t abandon us-I’m begging you. The stares on the subway/plane/train/etc I can deal with, but to be cast aside by you without nary a 2nd thought—it’s too much to bear. Perhaps for my next project I’ll spin a noose & put some of those knots I’ve been getting to good use. I can’t take the rejection—————–pls help by including us dudes in your universe–pls pls pls.
Sounds like a “Frank Burns” from “M*A*S*H”.
Quick draw with the camera I see 🙂 I’d probably break out in hives if they took my needles away – that’s prime sock time! Let’s all keep our fingers crossed that the TSA isn’t getting enough compaints to take needles off of the approved list.
I can’t believe that the flight attendant didn’t know that knitting needles were allowed. She should have been reported. Anyway, I know knitting needles are accepted cuz I had a similar experience, but mine was before the plane. I was checking my bags and I waited 20 minutes while the TSA agents stewed over my size 1 circular needle. Finally a supervisor came over and instantly said it was fine. The agents didn’t know that knitting needles came that small… just wait til they see my 000 size needles.
In 2003, before I discovered the beauty of knitting fool that I was, I flew to Israel and back with my picture quilt I was working on. This involved needles and scissors. Considering Israel has the tightest security of any country on Earth, you would think that it would be an issue but it wasn’t. Of course, traveling with 3 dogs and 2 cats in the hold of the plane tends to solve a lot of security concerns.
American security is a joke. I have flown with metal needles here AND scissors.. you know the little curved, sharp manicure scissors. Those are great for crafts.
I’m speechless.
Speechless!
If I have to travel by plane I only take small wooden needles, like 2mm dpns — about the same circumference as toothpicks. Once a flight attendant attempted to confiscate a 16″ size 8 (US) circular but I fended her off by showing her that, because the needle parts were made of wood, it was as dangerous as a pencil. I didn’t point out what one could do with the nylon cord, but only because she didn’t ask.
Did Weenie think about all his fellow passengers with well-made pens? The pens could be weapons. What about the heels on a pair of stilettos? What about the plastic cutlery that comes with the plastic food? Any of that could be used as a weapon.
Come to think of it, the food itself could be used as a weapon. “If you don’t divert this plane, you’ll have to eat the onboard meal!”
I don’t normally comment, but…
I was just on a cruise in Alaska this August. As we were docked in Juneau on a sunny afternoon, I took my shawl knitting (on a plastic circular in case of airline issues) out to the deck to sit and knit. Several passengers started chatting about knitting and crocheting and travelling with same, and I happily gave directions to the yarn store in the next port (I travel prepared). A woman seated about 5 chairs down noticed that there was a conversation going on, and decided to join in. After verbally abusing anyone’s need to knit and my stupidity for thinking I should be allowed to do that on an airplane, she began attacking me for actually knitting while travelling. The other passengers slowly melted away, not knowing what to say or do. I smiled, looked at her and said, “Airlines allow people to knit because they can’t dispense Prozac without a license.” I balled up my knitting and left. (I saw the attacker later, complaining with her husband about how horrible the food was and how the cruise was so unpleasant. Maybe knitting would have improved her mood.)
A crusty old WW-II veteran friend of mine, while discussing the absurdity of airport “security” measures, instructed me on the proper way to kill someone with a pencil or ball-point pen. It involves the gap between the sphenoid bone and the superior orbital fissure, and some details about musculo-skeletal reflexes in the neck.
If you’d explained this technique while menacingly waving your chart-marking pencil towards him, perhaps along with some convincingly vigorous pencil-assasination pantomime, I’m sure you could have made him wet his pants.
God, what a schmuck (which, like putz, is Yiddish for “weenie”). I’m sure it doesn’t help when women like Barbara Walters and Joy Behar (of the US chat show “The View”) have utterly idiotic discussions about how uncomfortable they are when people knit on planes (“really, they ought to ban knitting needles on planes”). Recently, they aired an episode in which the hosts (five women) talked about how nursing in public was just wrong. I was delighted that a massive group of nursing mothers showed up at their studios the next day and had a “nurse-in.” Should we hold a knit-in there next? Honestly, I just don’t know what to make of people sometimes.
Here’s the official word from the US TSA on knitting needles on airplanes. Perhaps flying knitters should print it out and tuck it in their travel knitting kit.
http://www.tsa.gov/public/interapp/editorial/editorial_1252.xml
—
Transporting Knitting Needles & Needlepoint
Knitting needles are permitted in your carry-on baggage or checked baggage. However, there is a possibility that the needles can be perceived as a possible weapon by the TSA screener. TSA Screeners have the authority to determine if an item could be used as a weapon and may not allow said item to pass through security. TSA recommends the following when bring knitting needles on an airplane:
* Circular knitting needles are recommended to be less than 31 inches in total length
* We recommend that the needles be made of bamboo or plastic (Not Metal)
* Scissors must have blunt points
* In case the screener does not allow your knitting tools through security it is recommended that you carry a self addressed envelope so that you can mail your tools back to yourself as opposed to surrendering them at the security check point.
* As a precautionary measure it is recommended that you carry a crochet hook with yarn to save the work you have already done in case your knitting tools are surrendered at the checkpoint.
Most of the items needed to pursue a Needlepoint project are permitted in your carry-on baggage or checked baggage with the exception of circular thread cutters or any cutter with a blade contained inside. These items cannot be taken through a Security Checkpoint. They must go in your checked baggage.
—
In other words, “we are all-powerful, unaccountable bureaucrats who impose our unwritten, secret rules at our whim in pursuit of our mission to keep airlines safe from terrorist attacks by skinny Canadian knitters.”
And the only thing worse than someone afraid of your knitting needles is the person who says….Oh, what are you crocheting??
Gosh… I would have asked him if had any pens or pencils on his person… just as lethal and also an allowed item.
FYI I flew back from France on Air France 2 weeks ago. The French are always tougher with security and I’d read France’s TSA saying they do indeed ban knitting needles on planes.
But rebel that I am, I brought some circ’s in my carry-on. As we’re boarding, security is picking 1 out of every 5 passengers to search – and I got picked. I was prepared to give over the needles – I made sure to pack a cheap pair without any knitting on them. She found the needles, asked me what I was making with the needles, I said a sweater, and after all the searching she let me go on.
Do you think it was my other carry-on, the large bag of yarn, that said I was harmless? 🙂 I think it helped that I spoke French, too.
No one on the plane said anything about my knitting – although it did occur to me that someone could use the circ’s for something bad or that someone might be uncomfortable.
Weenie he might be but I understand his anxiety. He’s also thinking that security stinks. I hated the thought of flying 8 hours with no available knitting needles – but in this crazy uncertain time, I do think knitters should be understanding of others’ fears…
Is there a knitter’s manifesto we can hand out to nervous nellies? explaining how our needles are used only for good? and how we pledge that in exchange for the ability to knit in-flight, we have “these” (what should they be?) emergency procedures in place in case a bad person wants to use our knitting needles for bad? 🙂
I now have a wicked urge to fly next time with knitting needles (for me) and an Elastrator (for any available weenies). At least we’ll make sure he doesn’t breed.
Bryn
I was just on the CATSA website, as I will be travelling next week, and not only are knitting needles allowed, but so are CORKSCREWS and WHIPS! I wonder how comfortable weenie-boy would have been with those items?
Gee, my hubby wants to arm everyone as they get on the plane (you get an ak47, you one knife with the pointy sharp end, no you can’t trade…) Just think no more idiots and people in the air being really careful and nice. Might have to agree with him after your posting.
Patty
Once when I was in third grade, I accidentally stabbed myself with a wood pencil. There is actually still a dark spot under my skin where the graphite was. I have never injured myself or anyone else in any way with a knitting needle of any kind. Unless you consider wrist pain from frantic holiday knitting an injury. Weenie is right!
I have just got as far as One Little Sock and am now crying my face off. Your writing is beautiful. Please don’t stop.
You know, it’s just a matter of time until the airlines start allowing cell phones to be used on planes, and I betcha this guy’s one of those annoying cell phone yakkers. Will we be able to tell “Cathy”, “I’m not comfortable with that moron jabbering on his cell phone. Can he be reseated in the cargo hole lest I stab him with a Brittany dpn?” (Birch, of course. Wouldn’t want to damage a walnut.)
Weenie. Damn weenie!
I have always been afraid of bringing my knitting on a plane. When I flew halfway across the US, I sure could have used my knitting, but I packed it instead (it was on size 7 baboo). I guess I’m afraid of slowing things up or causing a scene. Now I have my new Denise set, so I might try bringing something small in the future.
Next time you encounter such a weenie, could you please ask him for his email address? And mention to him how much you appreciate him providing fodder for your internationally loved blog and you’re sure your loyal readers would just love to send him a message. Maybe we would send him hand knitted socks to warm his wee little soul… maybe NOT. If you want to know what happens to all the confiscated stuff, check out E-Bay. I just saw a “Lot of 50 miscellaneous nail scissors” starting bid at $4.99.
OMG!!!! THAT is knitter PROFILING…you know all those ‘killer knitters’ out there, all the ‘suicide knitters’, America’s Most Wanted-‘tattoo of knitting needles on upper right arm’, and all the KUI (knitting under the influence) people out there picking up trash…. *tsk* he has the RIGHT to be scaried!!!
I travel via airplane for work almost weekly, and just started bringing knitting with me. So far, so good, except one flight where the flight attendant told me I was going to have to put my needles away for take-off and landing. I think she made up that rule herself. I didn’t see her telling people with writing utensils to put those away….
Will someone please explain to a linguistically challenged Scot exactly what a weenie is?
(Though I do get the general point of the story….lol!)
It was great meeting you in Chicago! It is so cool to have heard the airplane story in person, and now see it online. After my conversation with you, I decided to get off my butt and start a blog, so that maybe one day I can be THE Jen instead of just A Jen. And so I reveal to you my superhero secret identity of Blue Canary!
Yes, I’ve always thought us knitters were quite a threatening bunch – take my hand-dyed lace weight away from me and just see where it gets you.
Honestly – did he screen what he was saying in his head before he said it?
I sure wish you had a photo of the weenie’s face, e-mail or home address. With this blog he’d be so over whelmed by knitter’s demanding their God given right to knit he’d have to change his small narrow mind. Good for Cathy allowing you to move to a more knitter friendly seat!
When I flew to Orlando to visit my mom for Labor Day, I had my sewing scissors confiscated by TSA at the x-ray machine because they were “rounded tip, but not rounded enough.” I kid you not. He conferred with his superior on this.
The size 3 40″ nickel-plated steel circs attached by a strong, thin, nylon cord I could’ve used to choke him and gouge his eyes out gave him no qualms.
Morons.
Next time I come to a hideous impasse in my knitting, I’ll know that I’m not monumentally stupid about counting, it’s just that terrorists are using my needles against me.
Maybe the weenie was jealous because he always wanted a hand knitted sock. Next time I’m flying I’ll keep a look out for his weenie shoes to accidently poke him with my bamboo needles!
Or maybe we should trap him on a long flight with all knitters! That’ll show Mr. Weenie!!
May Mr. Weenie never experience the joy of handknit socks. Knit on, Girl!
Yvonne
What a freakin’ moron! A man who is afraid of nice Canadian ladies with knitting needles shouldn’t be flying. (I don’t know if anyone’s told him this, but the plane will go UP IN THE AIR and he might be exposed to harmful radiation. You know, from the sun.) I suspect that he will soon perish of acute anxiety.
You are kind to call him a weenie.
OMG! And they let the weenie keep his shoelaces! Don’t they know that terrorists love to use weenie shoelaces to garrotte weenies!!! And I suppose he had a TIE on too! Lucky you were there with your metal dpns and straights to defend the plane against attack. You should have told him that you were an Air Marshal and that you were specially trained on dpns. The only comment I got when going thru security with metal dpns in one sock, bamboos in another, and a bamboo circ in a felted bag-to-be was “you can’t really be working on all of those at once!?” I didn’t tell him about the 2-3 projects in my checked bag. Hey, I was going to be away from home for 5 whole days!
It’s amazing – flying out of New York to anywhere, no problem with my needles. Flying out of Atlanta (*Atlanta*, for Pete’s sake) I got harassed. And they were wooden. Sorry, unless you’re a vampire, I’m doubtful the wooden knitting needles are going to be a threat. *sigh*
OMG what a howl! I laughed so hard when I read that post…you kill me, Stephanie!! Keep up the good work. 🙂
OH my god!!! I have traveled a ton in the US since 9/11 and have only had very positive experiences w/ FA. “what are you knitting?, etc.” including a cross country flight where several FA’s convened at the end of the flight to closely examine my baby fruit hat and discuss how I managed to start and complete it during a flight. The ONLY time I’ve had anyone “in authority” question me was when I went thru security at the Yuma, Arizona airport (a very small town, with a pretty swanky airport used by a good 100 people per day I swear…more tax dollars wasted.) There is a military base there so this may explain their “vigilance”. At the last minute, a friend gifted me two fist fulls of needles, dp’s etc. almost all metal, and I threw them into my knitting bag. This meant that there were at least 70 sets of needles plus a bunch of circular turbos. They xray guys asked “do you have knitting needles in there?” I said, “yes, is there a problem?” He said, “well…we just need to know. We can’t be too careful.” I couldn’t help myself, I burst out laughing. Thank god he didn’t go nuts and take them away.
I’m of the opinion that all middle-aged women on planes should carry knitting needles. I would find that most comforting as I fly…not scary at all. What has happened to Americans? Why is everyone so scared? All we have to fear is fear itself.
Love the weenie picture.
Maybe he had a horrifying childhood incident that involved his grandmother, knitting needles and a really hideous acrylic sweater?
On the flip side, I tend to get the chance to talk to cute seat mates when I pull out the knitting and/or crochet.
“…made only left turns” ? “rappelled” ? Steph, God is in the details, and your details show over and over what a really talented writer you are. You make my day, you really do, every time you post. (I always sound so serious in comments. I’m really completely lighthearted. Wish I could write like some people…)
Valk the linguistically challenged Scot, you might say he was a proper berk (or maybe it�s burk), completely wet. A whinger. A bit of a nancy (with no offense meant to Nancys)
Capice?
I gotta give “Cathy” the benefit of the doubt and hope like heck she was asking about going through security as a “subtle” reminder to the weenie that there are People Watching. (Granted, they usually also miss guns and knives, but I bet they all saw the needles.) Maybe she sat you next to an air marshall so the AM could protect you from overzealous knitwear-haters.
I hope he didn’t see that scene in The Bourne Identity with the ballpoint pen, or crossword puzzles will be outlawed too. Damn.
What a wuss! He probably still lives with his mother and eats oatmeal every morning for breakfast. You got lucky, I heard you could be asked to put them away if any other passenger complained. Thank goodness the flight attendant was no weenie. The very idea that someone might use those against YOU is just ludicrous. First of all, they would have to be a MUCH better knitter.
Weenie, indeed.
Since 9/11 I have switched to wood circular needles. I have been back and forth from the US to Europe many times since then and have never been stopped by security. The only time I had a FA talk to me about my knitting was when he found a vacant seat for me (in the upgraded section, too!) because my overhead light didn’t work and the lights were turned off because they were showing movies.
(mumbling something about learning to knit in the dark…)
“…knit an Afgan” = classic!
OMG! How do you always find these people? *laugh*
Stephanie, You are being to nice. He was a complete fucking asshole!
Sorry, I just had to say it.
oops, my previous post was not liked by your server. I had to clean it up. Sorry. I have the mouth of a sailer. What a weenie he was!
I’m sure when all was said and done you were quite ready to use your needles against him.
Oh, Harlot, how you suffer for your art!! You should get a purple heart for bravery in defense of knitting against stupid, whining weenies.
Knit on, sister!!
Monika (who uses bamboo dp’s on airplanes and has been accused of “trying to commit acupuncture” on a female relative of the weenie)
Oh, Harlot, how you suffer for your art!! You should get a purple heart for bravery in defense of knitting against stupid, whining weenies.
Knit on, sister!!
Monika (who uses bamboo dp’s on airplanes and has been accused of “trying to commit acupuncture” on a female relative of the weenie)
Beth, if that was the cleaned up version I’m signing up for swearing lessons with you!
Grins.
Well, I guess this proves that the real terrorists have gotten what they wanted. They want people to be scared and this idiot apparently is.
Ok, wennie is too mild…he really was a total wanker..I was on a flight friday night and had my socks in progress with me and had no issues whatsoever…and my seat mate even complimented me on them.
what an idiot.
Complete and total weenie, that one. I’m just hoping his wife/sister/mother/secretary reads your blog and has lovely little surprise finding out how big(er, or not…)a weenie he is!
You, dear Stephanie are too gracious. I think I would’ve stuck in my seat, turned up the volume on the i-Pod, and knit away, just to make the silly git uncomfortable for the whole flight. And maybe developed a nasty coughing fit somewhere near the mid-point…
I laughed so hard, I snorted my tea. I can not believe how crazy people have gotten. Last year I took my dog to Dallas, TX for a dog show. In addition to my knitting, I also had all of my grooming supplies, which include some wicked looking and very expensive scissors in my luggage. Need less so say, I was not surprised when they opened and went through my bag, but, I was surprised when they made me take my dog out of her crate so that they could wand her and run her crate through the x-ray machine. While this was going on, I had my knitting out and no one said a thing.
Thouroughly enjoyed your post! Oh how I wish I was a “needle in the bag” to hear/see this go down!
Cheers!
This happened to me, too. A few years ago, closer to 9-11. The man across the aisle, after I got my knitting “set up” on a metal set of circulars said, “You could really hurt someone with those. They let you through with those?” I actually got out my set of 7 1/2 inch straight (also metal) needles and said, “These could hurt someone even more. And yes, they did let me on with these. I knit with them, I don’t poke people with them.” Luckily for me, he didn’t call the attendant, but for over an hour he stared at me while I knit and said over and over again, “I can’t believe that they let you on with those.”
Must have been the brother to your wussie!
Major weenie!
Cracks me up what people think of knitters…I only know a handful of women that would actually sully their DPNs to stab some dude in the leg.
Me being one of them, and only if I’m flying and haven’t had my Xanax. And only if they’re metal. Wood wouldn’t be appropriate.
may he forever have shoes that fit way too tight.
and pants that ride up around his arse every time he sits.
this is clearly a soul who was never knitted for as a child..unloved by his mother and father…ect. just a guess
when i flew last year i did not even bring my knitting…(i thought they would take my needles) i had chrochet to keep me company and i used plastic hooks just in case…
glad you are home be sure to hug mr. washie…
I have a good knitting on planes story too. I was knitting while waiting for take off on a flight between Calgary and Edmonton. People were already staring at me as they boarded. Then, the stewardess told me I had to put it away during takeoff and landing. Apparently even plastic sock needles are dangerous items. I could hear the elderly man behind me tell his wife, “See, I told you knitting isn’t allowed on planes. She just had to put it away.”
I took only DPNs on the plane with me on my last trip and had no problem with security or comment from passengers ’til the last leg. The young man in the seat next to me was German, I believe, and felt, I think, much as your weenie did — enough to remark to me that he was surprised they let me on the plane “with those.” (A gold star to him for NOT pressing the call button, thankyouverymuch.) I told him that knitting needles were approved items and then asked him how they differed, really, from the pen he was using.
Oh, dear Lord. Do people just not think?
must have been my dumb ass brother in those weenie shoes.
I managed to fly to Europe with Denise circulars in my carry-on, no problem. Oh, and just because somebody likes Star Trek doesn’t make them a weenie. Long live Science Fiction Knitters!
I second the “high heeled shoes as weapon” person. Hasn’t anyone seen Single White Female?
The only problem I had this year with knitting on a plane was in Amsterdam. The blunt-tipped scissors that had been OK’d by US security were too sharp for Dutch security. I just handed them over and asked if he could give them to another knitter who had had to give his/hers up earlier! I wonder where those little scissors have been since April?
I loved this!!
I have to forward this to people!!
As an avid spindler and knitter and an active flight attendant (not for the same airline, I could tell by the color of the seats) I can’t believe how stupid this passenger was. I had one person that said something to me once about another passenger knitting and I made sure to tell him, loudly I might add, that I could kill you with a ball point pen, and I could knit with that too…what was his problem. Knitting needles are on the list of approved items on TSA’s website, and they’ve always been approved. The flight attendant should have known that, I can’t believe she’s never seen anyone knit on an airplane before, and should could have checked her inflight manual for the list of prohibited items and that would have cleared the issue up right away! We sometimes have 2 or more people on the same plane happily knitting. Geesh. I know, they’re afraid you’re going to knit an “Afghani”, right? I’ll be taking my knitting with me to work tomorrow, just as I do every day that I work, 3-4 days a week. People, calm yourselves!
What I can’t understand is how come they made you move. You were obeying the rules, he was a numbskull. Don’t even get me started on Cathy…
The truly knitterly thing to do would have been knit him a weenie warmer on the trip and present it to him on the way out. LOL!
ROFLMAO! I think you need to start wearing “Ladies Sewing Circle and Terrorist Society” t-shirts when you travel – at least all the weenies will be alerted right up front that you are a Knitting Anarchist.
LOL!
I’d have sat right there and watched the weenie “cook” everytime your needles flashed. LOL
So pathetic.
The reason “Cathy” asked the other passengers if they minded sitting near a knitter is that, as we all know, knitting can be contagious.
To paraphrase Legally Blonde:(said in Reese Witherspoon californiese) knitting produces endorphins. Endorphins make people happy. Happy people don’t commit terrorist acts….they just don’t!
Obviously this guy doesn’t watch highly intellectual movies like I do!
Sue and I call this “hitting the glass ceiling of dumb.” we often see these acts of hitting the glass ceiling, but the fact is we cannot avert our eyes. it is the train wreck that we cannot stop watching.
glad you arrived to your destination, avec needles and knitting.
What a complete wimp! People like that irritate the heck out of me! I can feel your outrage! I’m glad the flight attendant had some sense!
I think someone forgot to take his meds. Only someone insane would come up with a string of “logic” such as that.
‘Course I probably would’ve pointed said needles at him just to see what he’d do. And then taken a picture of that.
🙂
Did he seriously think that terrorists might try to take over the plane with no better plan than “look for someone knitting and comandeer his/her knitting needles”????
Or did he think that someone might see the needles and get ideas??
I’m baffled. Clearly you should have used the needles on him…
I see that Mr. Weenie is not wearing hand-knitted socks. In any case, he needs a Xanax, a couple of stiff belts (either kind) or some good therapy.
Carry around little cards that read “The TSA allows knitting needles aboard aircraft, trains and buses. If that makes you uncomfortable, you’ll need to change seats or remove yourself from the -insert- immediately. Love, the Yarn Harlot.”
Even his feet look like jerks!
🙂
OH! I could die. That was hilarious.
Rumour has it that knitting needles are no longer allowed on the ferries between NS and New England; someone told me hers were confiscated on the trip. It’s getting pretty sad.
I don’t suppose this is worse, but once I was on a plane, and a woman sitting diagonally and behind me started talking, loudly yet clearly not *to* me, about how she couldn’t believe that they let me on the plane with “those things,” and “what was the world coming to? Look how soon we’ve forgotten about 9-11…” etc. Those “things” were size 6 single pointed bamboo needles, and the calm I had from knitting my scarf was the only thing preventing me from saying something to her. I guess I was lucky that even though she couldn’t keep her disgust to herself, at least she didn’t involve anyone except the passenger next to her, who agreed, but clearly wasn’t feeling too threatened by the hundred pound girl with tiny wooden needles as he did his crossword puzzle with a pencil larger than either of my needles.
“Needled”
Yarn Harlot, she knits on a plane
A weenie then starts his refrain
From her needles as wielded
He needs to be shielded
“Attendant! I need to complain!”
The Attendant she ain’t too bright ee-ther
(They both need a kick in the keister)
“You boarded with those?”
(Duh, place finger to nose)
“Would *someone* please give him a bee-er?”
Now Weenie has peed in his shoes
But Harlot can gracefully “lose”
In her retreat
She photos his feet
Revenge she can certainly use!
Before gentle Steph is reseated,
New neighbors are carefully greeted,
“Do you mind if I knit?
“Oh no, not a whit –
That wuss over there is a twit!”
————————————–
You know, he might have held the sock, if only you’d have asked… 😉
I’ve been lurking here a few months on this blog and finally had to post today. Knitters are by far the nicest people I know. Go into any yarn store, they will talk to you about your project, what you’re making, your pets/kids/significant others, commiserate, celebrate, encourage, whatever. I think this applies in general – they are just nice, giving, caring people (maybe knitting is a calling? we do it because we love to give to other people?) After reading through the comments today, it appears that the ONLY thing that pisses off knitters is the thought that some weenie might take our needles away… and clearly that makes us want to be violent. Anyone else notice that or was it just me?
This man had CLEARLY just watched the old “Avengers” episode where a bad guy kills people, dressed up as a little old lady, with knitting needles! (I just saw it last night for the first time and cracked up!) 🙂
Congratulations, Agent YH, for completing your mission.
You successfully eluded all attempts to disarm you of your terrorist tools.
A clever ruse, acting as an innocent granny-type.
A sock! What brilliance you showed by arranging to have a garment on your spikes.
Let us just hope that passenger knows how lucky he is to avoid your wrath and professional training as…(dun, dun, DUNNNNNNN)
a knitter!!!
What a dunce! What a weenie!!!
Let me just say I am more “dangerous” without my knitting.The torture of an overseas flight without my knitting…. it just does not bear thinking about. Feel for my poor hubie who has to put up with me not knitting. It (knitting) almost keeps me sane.
By the way, what was the disaster with the Dale yarn??? Cheers Lulu
Damn Muggle. (love the use of the word here by the way being a huge Harry Potter nut myself)
If he is that afraid of terrorists that he thinks you, the Yarn Harlot, would use your knitting needles on him, he needs to stay safely locked up in a rubber room. Honestly. Hope the weenie gets what is coming to him: A knitting convention very close to his home!!
🙂
Wussie!
I thought your pirate speak blog was going to be hard to beat for laugh-out-loudness, but the weenie on the plane has managed it. Please come to England, preferably London, cos I for one will move heaven and earth to hear such gems in person. Keep up the good work, Stephanie, you are often one of the brightest spots in my day! Thank you so much!
I take no chances — I put my short bamboo dpns in the outside pockets of my cargo pants and the socks I’m working on in my carry on. Unless they’re doing a pat-down, security isn’t going to find them. When I’m asked if security let me through with “those things” I smile sweetly and say “oh, yes ma’am!”
They’re allowed by TSA, so I’m not going to leave my ability to knit during flight to the arbitrary whim of a screener.
I hope Cathy didn’t put some guy doing a crossword near the weenie. You know how dangerous ballpoint pens can be. Or God forbid, a sharpened pencil.
What happened to all the real men?
Weenie is really a very gentle term for that gentleman. Argh.
I did a lot of flying in 2003 for work, back and forth from BWI and EWN to Japan. I had absolutely no issues with security. Supposedly they didn’t want any *long* circs, but i was working with a 16″ Clover, so that was good.
However, travelling domestically, I’ve gotten a lot of comments in the airport, and from friends when they hear I’m going to knit on the plane. Even from other needleworkers online. I can’t believe how much misinformation gets propagated, and I can’t believe that people don’t read the TSA guidelines before flying!
Also, it drives me nuts that many shops still advertise the Clover thread cutter pendant as ‘safe for air travel’, when it’s specifically prohibited. I bought one, intending it for travel, pulled it out of the package, and it popped apart……
I hear the Canadians are deep into terrorist activities. Only recently, a plot to air-drop bomb-carrying moose on the US was uncovered. I’m not surprised that you, horrid, scary person that you are, would menace someone with your DPNs. For shame, Stephanie. For shame.
(I trust that you caught the sarcastic tone. Good lord–some people just need to get a life.)
I know that guy, he was on the top 100 list of people you DO NOT want to sit next to in an airplane. They only show the shoes too. Good thinking on your part.
Aren’t you glad you left you 14″ number 35 woodens’ at home?
Miz Harlot, you are my hero.
Once again, the ignorance of people is brought to the forefront by those of us with a high enough IQ to reason. Regardless of how he might feel about pointy metal rods (Oh my!) he obviously did not have the intelligence to realize that terrorist plots are PLANNED events and not some whimsical urge that a terrorist succombs to. Of course, you look SOOOOO dangerous, I am sure he thought you were bringing the plane DOOOWWWWNNN.
IDIOT!
May the weenie be seated next to the 15 month old with an ear infection on his next flight. He’ll welcome your size 2’s back with open arms.
What a maroon.
Option B was hilarious! I can’t believe that! However even though I’m totally able to knit on a plane I still get nervous – and I mostly knit with wooden needles!!
The man’s got ugly shoes.
I would have loved to see you, as you struggled out of your old seat heading to your new seat, accidentally stab him in the weenie be-hind. Now steel in @ss would be “uncomfortable” indeed!
Oh, for pity’s sake!!!! Poor stupid weenie!
This is the first time I have read your blog and I must say I am delighted. I am glad you advised against eating or drinking anything while reading. I would have spit it out all over my keyboard.
Muggle. Heh-heh. Looks like a lawyer from those shoes. I wonder if he is feeling all the negative thought vibes being directed his way (my guess is no). You are way nicer than I would be.
A real man would’ve been happy to have potential “weapons” available for commandeering in case of a terrorist attack. Was he slumped in his seat? Because I’m positive he was lacking a spine.
I laughed really hard at today’s entry. I flew several times back in 2002 when knitting needles were allowed in some places and not in others. My choice was to use bamboo circs with no metal on them at all so they really wouldn’t show up on xrays. I’l admit too, to having gone through the metal detector with a dishcloth on a bamboo circ tucked into my pocket:) I had a really long flight and I am a person who hates flying and I just really wanted some knitting with me.
WEENIE!!!!!!
Doesn’t he know it takes more than a stubby sock needle to do any damage?? If you’d been knitting lace on 00000, then I might have a cause to worry. Nah, not even.
too funny!
I guess we know who he voted for last November. Weenie.
Stephanie,
I have to say you are just the greatest. You make me laugh and smile so much. Today I had a very long day on a new job, setting up a new Barnes and Noble. Hauling books around all day was rough. Every muscle I own hurts. I get in my vehicle and proceed to get in a accident in less than five minutes. I was so tired I guess I was not paying attention. No one was hurt but I did damage to the other vehicle. I was driving my husbands truck so our damage is minimal. I end up with a $62 ticket for following too close. I get home take a nice hot bath and hit the computer and read your blog. I needed an amusing anecdote from you and as usual you deliver. I am not saying the situation was funny but your choices of responses to it sure were. I would have loved to impale the guy with one of the needles but then you’d have trouble finishing the sock…
It cracks me up when I am flying and people tell me that my size 2 circular needles, with a sock in progress on them, are potential weapons. Are they kidding me? I think, “shall I use them as a lasso and wrangle a gun away from a terrorist?” Has anyone ever died in a knitting needle accident? I love how you handled that situation!
ok, i know you’re a busy woman, especially dealing with weenie men who don’t know that a pencil could do as much if nor more damage than your 14″ needles, but i need some help. i’ve been gifted with 3 balls of kidsilk crack ( i mean haze) and i want to make birch, but i can’t find the pattern. where did you get yours?
Did he talk with a fake Texas accent and answer to George?
Sheesh.
Obviously the weenie has never seen Gross Pointe Blank or he would be nervous around pens and pencils. It is always a huge temptation to point this out to people when they make an issue of my needles.
But I figure that the less they know about where my brain goes the better…
ok, while I totally support bringing knitting needles on planes because without them I cannot knit, and while I wholeheartedly think that guy was a weenie (a much nicer term than I would have used, btw) — doesn’t ANYONE think it’s kinda STRANGE that they DO let knitting needles on planes? ESPECIALLY the metal ones? I mean seriously, they could TOTALLY be used as weapons! DANGEROUS ones.
Had a great laugh from your story & everyone’s comments. Why did this guy provoke you if he thought you might hurt him ??? He’s CRAZY.
I’ve NEVER understood what could possibly possess a man to “give lip” to any woman armed with steel needles.
Personally, I’ve always found knitting on long journeys a fun way to meet new friends … let’s hope “love from knitting” returns to our journeys soon.
May the uber-weenie never know love manifested in yarn. This is what he gets for mocking the Knitting Goddess and Her devoted servant, our one and only Yarn Harlot. Your response was priceless.
I was flying to Portland, OR with my knitting using size 7, 12 inches long, sitting in the bulkhead, so that means 3 flight attendants were sitting across from me on take off and landings. No one said a word, and half way through the flight I found out that the man sleeping in the seat next to me was a pilot. Next week on a flight to Atlanta, the only thing said to me was I could not knit on take off and landings.That guy was a weenie, but the flight attendant should have known better.
Gosh, I wonder if the Weenie was my ex-husband. The feet look familiar.
I would have taken his picture, put it on my blog, and let everybody have at it in anyway they think is right. Of course, taking his picture would have alos probably freaked him out. What an idiot he was/is.
Minnie, the pattern for Birch is in Rowan Magazine 34. I just ordered the magazine specially so’s I could make the Birch.
But now I have a question for Steph and anybody else who made the shawl…did you use the stockinette stitch version or the garter stitch version?
I once has a flight attendent ask me to put away my knitting becuase she was afraid that someone could wrestle them away from me and do some damage. (I guess I didn’t look like I’d go on a ramage with my knitting needles) My response was, “A person can use a ball point pen or pencil as a weapon too, but you are not asking him (pointing to the gentlemen doing the crossword puzzle next to me) to put his pen away.” She then said, “I’d just feel more comfortable if you put them away.” UGH.
Other than this incident I have never ever had an issue, even when I was “selected” for the extra special screening.
NON KNITTING WEENIES!
Heh…wouldn’t it have been funny if the next person who sat next to him was also knitting? You should have said, “Well, I’m uncomfortable with your penis. I feel that it could be used against me.” Idiot…
Hi, Stephanie! It was really nice to meet you for a minute at Arcadia on Saturday and reveal my secret Batman knitting identity. I just wonder if WeenieMan is also a knitter and was perhaps afraid that, should he see you knitting for too long, he would have to reveal his own identity and compromise a top-secret mission. That might explain what he meant by the needles being “used against him.” 🙂
Is that a golf club under his seat?
I would be mightily uncomfortable with that! Golfers can be insane, dontchaknow?
I’ve flown with knitting needles and never had any problem other than a few curious glances from other passengers. On one flight there was a whole row of us, all strangers who had all brought knitting. We had a great time swapping patterns and tips.
I did have a pair of scissors confiscated once. They were a 2″ long pair that was part of a little sewing kit bought in desperation at a hotel when I needed to sew a button on. The security guy offered to let me mail them back to myself for $5. Since they wouldn’t even cut thread, let along yarn, I declined.
I know several people who travel with the yarn-cutting pendants. Even though they are technically not allowed, the screeners don’t seem to realize what they are.
His feet are small… that says it ALL!
Part of me says what is the point of commenting when over 270 people already have…..but OMG Steph, you make me laugh like no one else can.
Part of me says, what a jerk and the other part says god, to be so afraid that you want someone to stop knitting? That is incredibly sad.
The flight next to you could have changed his life! That, or driven you to use your needles on yourself…
What an idiot. You should have offered to poke him with your needles so that he could see first hand how sharp they really are 🙂
This guy isn’t a weenie. I’m a weenie: for example, when the dentist comes at me with sharp pointy objects bent upon causing me pain, and I shrink back in my chair, now that’s being a weenie.
This guy is just an idiot.
It was clearly time to suggest to Cathy the Clueless that she confiscate the weenie’s Mont Blanc pen because he could stab someone in the jugular with it, all the change in his pockets because he could force someone to swallow it and choke, and perhaps Cathy should also cut the seatbelts out of the seats so no one with their head up their butt could accidentally choke himself. Mr. Weenie, specifically …
Oh, and perhaps everyone should have their teeth pulled before getting on board so they can’t bite anyone. Sheesh …
You rock, Harlot!!!
Personally, I admire you for not using your metal needles “against” the weenie himself. What on earth made him think you weren’t capable of taking care of yourself if the need arose?!
Gr. People need to mind their own damn business more frequently- the world would be a much better place if they did!
(P.S. First time commenting- I think you have a new fan in me :-D)
Hope you don’t find yourself on the no-fly list when you next take to the air. Knitting is the perfect cover for terrorists! 😉
I was told once that I couldn’t take a set of circular needles on the plane because I “might use them to strangle someone”. They were allowed once I pointed out that I could just as easily do that with the headsets that were provided to everybody.
I admit I’m a little embarrassed at being “reply # 284” ..it makes me wonder if I’m just adding to the noise. (Congratulations on running such a popular and influential blog!)
Bless you for getting through the ordeal without going ballistic! I’m proud of you for your clever revenge! We can all sit back here and poke Voodoo Knitting Needles at the image of his feet on our monitors until he rethinks his position on safety and risk!! Hah!! We’ll all be empowered! (grin)
Hugs!!
I’m with lauragayle on the mechanical pencil thing. I’m an architect and those things are wicked. I’ve put several holes in my body, and my car seat with those things. On the upside, I stick my knitting needles in the backpack with the mechanical pencils and they all clear the security screen, even in the days when needles were banned.
I also heard the Harlot speak at Stitches East where she got loads of grief about how few shoes she owns. (A certain Canadian designer, who was sitting with her, was scheming later that night on how to solve that problem for her.) The audience laughed and laughed and I heard several comments about how funny she was and about her ability to laugh at herself.
Way to go Stephanie
You are kidding me?! She actually asked them if they minded a knitter next to them?! O_o
I knit all the time on the plane. My husband is a flight attendant and has actually told me plenty of stories of him talking to knitters on his flights and things he saw being made.
Personally, I think you showed amazing restraint in not telling her your second choice. I probably would have said something along those lines and been booted off the plane. 😀
He’s the one having a problem with your needles, he should’ve been the one moving to another seat.
Anyway, nice blog.
Steph, you really made my day:-) can’t wait to meet you at Rheinbeck! i probably would have said B.. i’m a rebel what can i say.. haha.. 🙂 karola
Perhaps, had you been in the air on the morning of Sept. 11, 2001, or had a loved one in an airplane during those first few dreadful hours, you might realize how much fear and pain have driven some of us to a point where we do not see the world as you do. While I hope I do not appear to be a “weenie” or of “less than sparkling intellect,” I am not willing to allow anyone or anything to pass my comfort level in an aircraft/airport anymore. I wish I could get past that fear, but I’m not there yet. It took more courage than I thought I had in me to even get on another airplane after that horrible day.
I love your blog and books, but please realize some of us are still walking wounded. I love knitting too, but this issue surpasses any interest or passion I might have in my “normal” life. I hope most people never see/experience this other world of terror.
What strikes me the most is that the flight attendant should be 100% up to date on what is and isn’t allowed on the plane. That is part of her job! That she cooed “they let you on with those?” tells me that I never want to fly that airline, as it would seem their staff’s safety training is out of date (esp. so since knitting needles have been permissible for almost a year now!).
I think that if the man was truly concerned about the needles, he should have asked to be reseated, instead of causing such a fuss. Everyone has fears, but to inflict them on others is not the best way to deal with them. BTW, it’s of interest to note that the FCC has since re-allowed box-cutters to be on the permitted list of things to take in your carry-on luggage.
…I’ve seen necklaces that look more dangerous than knitting needles.
he was probably jealous of your uber 1337 skillz, thus the fuss.
I sent your blog link to a friend of mine who just got 2 cashmere goats, so I am sucking up mightily. She loved it, as I figured she would, and here is her note to me (I don’t think she put a comment in, so I am taking the liberty):
“I do hate flying and airports. I always seem to get lucky and get the super-duper screening in the private room. Last time we flew hubby had put my tag on his golf clubs. So me and the golf clubs were back being privately screened and I was terrified that they’d ask me golf questions to determine if the clubs were legitimately mine. THEN hubby’s dirty socks fell out of the golf bag, followed by his shoes caked with dried mud. Dried mud bits scattered all over the stainless steel table. I was so embarrased. They actually tested the golf clubs for gun powder. …and to think I was worried about wearing an underwire bra……luckily my doctor had given me flying pills….no worries…..”
oh nooo, I’m flying out of Chicago in the morning to Florida for the weekend!! I *was* going to take my knitting with me!
Was this O’Hare or Midway? ooh what to do, what to do…
ROTFLMAO …. The story was amusing in itself, especially considering options A and B as possible replies. But the real KICKER is that you took a picture of the weenie’s feet. “HA HA — so there you, weenie!” I could hear you saying that days later here in Louisville (you know how slow sound travels from inside our heads). Thanks for the LAUGH… and it’s comparable to the laffs I’m enjoying from the meditations and now from your latest book. 🙂
Knit an Afghan. oh, hahahahahaa!!!!! I am slain! I will be laughing at this for days.
Stephanie,
I saw you speak in Lake Placid. A very enjoyable evening and was wonderful to be surrounded by so many knitters.
I have a question for you. Do you know of a pattern that you mentioned in your ‘Meditative’ book regarding double knitting for socks where you knit one inside the other? I would really like to learn this technique.
Thanks and hope very much to see you speak again.
Elissa
Opps, guess this isn’t the place for questions…sorry.
Suggestions for traveling sock knitters. I have found the little plastic Brysin needles for socks appear traveler friendly to non-knitter airport examiners. Although, half the time no one knows what is permitted makes you wonder who is at the helm… pun intended.
OMG you GO sista!!!! You sounded off like you had a pair!
Hi Stepahnie,
Liz, here…from Connecticut. Happy to see you’ll be in Rhinebeck next weekend. Gussie and I will be there with some of our Babydoll Southdowns. Gussie is showing them in the Wool Show on Sunday and a friend will have her Babydolls in the Breed Display Barn. Stop by and see us (most likely in the Breed Display area. Liz
Perhaps he remembers the story of the spontaneously combusting metal knitting needles, and the visual of a terrorist briskly rubbing your knitting needles together as he finishes your project was just to much for Mr. Weenie to bear.
Hi Stephanie,
THAT was an amazing story. I read your site often, but can’t get over what happened! I did several YVR/LA trips lately and nobody said boo about my bamboo straights…I would’ve loved to see the look on Cathy and weenie’s face if you gave answer B, but they probably would’ve done an emergency landing to boot you off! That’s for the fun story!
I fly all the time with my needles and carry the same list which says they are allowed.
I had jury duty this summer, got through security, and then had the Barney Fife of the jury room berate me at the top of his lungs for having “prohibited items” aka knitting needles.
Luckily, he just made me put them away. Damn, 8 hours of pure knitting time wasted.
Hmm. I carry insulin needles with me. I haven’t flown in awhile, I wonder if I can’t take insulin on a plane for fear that a terroist will take my tiny one inch needles and USE THEM AGAINST ME. What a dork. You should have poked him with one just to hear him shriek like the girl he is.