Lene (not my clever Toronto dwelling Danish friend – she’s got pictures of the twins again) but a Finnish Lapland knitter Lene, has written beautifully about hand knits here.
You should go read it. She raises some wonderful philosophical questions about knitting for “everyday wear”, about the difference between the things we make now (which are mostly luxuries) and the things that were made as necessities to keep people warm and covered.
(The baby is my grandmother, she’s wearing a beautiful hand-knit garter stitch dress with a checkerboard collar and hem, that was undoubtedly knit to be both beautiful and warm. This is Canada.)
In most of the world now, certainly where I live, it’s faster and easier (and usually cheaper) to go and buy your socks and hats and mittens, than to knit them up yourself. Many older people are grateful from having been released from the burden of having to manufacture these things. (Can you imagine? Truly, the idea of having no source for socks for my family except the ones that came off my needles gives me the heebie-jeebies. They’d all have lost toes to frostbite. Not only that, but there’s no way I would have the energy left to make them beautiful.) Lene made me think about the changing value of handknits…from necessity – to luxury item, and she got me reflecting on my personal philosophy, that beautiful things are more beautiful when they are useful.
Finally, she got me to think…you knit a pair of socks. Really beautiful ones. Socks knit from that special wool that you got when you went on a once in a lifetime trip. (It goes without saying that since you really love it, this yarn is now discontinued) Ones like the stockings Lene’s knitting, something with lace and twisted stitches and all sorts of carrying on. Not just complicated, but long too… Socks that go all the way to the knee of some really tall person. Lets say that you knit these (did I mention that it takes a long time?) and you give them away and now that person (who you obviously really love, since sock length is clearly related to affection level) can do as they please with them. How do you want them used? Tenderly? Rarely? Often? With so much affection that they get big holes in them, or with so much affection that they are worn once a year and will last a lifetime? What would you consider the greater compliment?
Trekking makes socks practical and beautiful. Now that your post is done early, Stephanie, go spin………….It’s Tuesday.
Absolutely I’d consider it the highest compliment if someone were to wear my socks so much that they had to ask me to either fix them or knit them some more. Things stored away are easily forgotten. It’s like those house cleaning programs that are all the rage on TV in the US – if you don’t use it – it’s just taking up space. If it truly has special meaning – you use it.
I’m on the side of the person wearing the thing I made until it’s holey. I hate spending hours of my life making something that is “too special” to wear.
And then, you get to make more stuff when the old stuff wears out. Isn’t that how knitters survive? Well…it’s how I roll. 😉
I want my things worn, in love, and often.
I have to agree with the other comments and say that I hope the things I knit for people will be worn until full of holes, but I know, that since I tend to knit a lot for the kids I nanny for (or used to, I should say), the parents will probably not let that happen and they will be loved and saved for special occasions. And, I’m ok with that, too.
I have knit garments, and had to realize that when giving a gift sometimes the joy must be in the giving. Some people wear handknits till they need mending and some people take handknits out of the box and admire them and take pleasure in looking. Some people just hide it away in the back of the linen closet and hope you never speak of it again. With all these options I am just glad I took the joy in giving.
I have to agree – I’d like to see them worn.
I’d rather knit (and weave) things that are beautiful and useful, and sturdy enough to be worn frequently. It adds to the challenge, and sense of accomplishment, when something is both.
That being said, there will always be a place for a delicate, lacy, absolutely gorgeous shawl. Sturdy won’t work!
I’d want them to wear them, and every time they received a compliment (hopefully they would receive compliments!), they would say, “my dear friend made them especially for me to show her love and affection.”
Wear them until they are worn out. Take a picture if you want to remember them as new. I’d love to replace something that was worn out, rather than seeing the item in mint condition 5 years later because it was hidden away in a drawer.
Hey Steph… you know how I feel about hand knit socks!! I made a colorway for you and it will be on it’s way by week’s end. Spin, sister. Spin!
I’d much rather see them worn until they wear out. For sure.
Use ’em! Wear ’em! Then I’ll make more. That’s the point, isn’t it?
Seriously, I used to get asked this a lot about the quilts that I make. I take them outside, throw them on the ground for picnics, put them on beds and the back of couches, wash them, hang them outside in the sunshine to dry. I have one for each car and several for reenacting. I make them to be USED, to be loved, to keep my family and friends warm, not to become heirlooms. The same goes for my knitting – except I don’t think I’ve knit anything worthy of becoming an heirloom anyway.
Hand knits should be worn often. They should be comfortable enough that you forget you’re wearing them, except for the occasional realization that “I KNIT THIS.” (Or “someone who cares a lot for me knit this.”) They should be made with the recipient in mind – babies get superwash wool, because they leak from all orifices. They don’t get lace, because little fingers go *everywhere*. The socks I make with hiking in mind are made with a wool/nylon blend, not Koigu. The socks I make for wearing with pretty skirts are made with Koigu, or Cherry Tree Hill, or other soft things, because I can. Sometimes we make things that are meant to be fancy wear. That’s okay. But they should be worn whenever it’s appropriate. They should just be worn *as often as possible*. If they fall apart, there will always be more yarn, and there will always be fingers willing to make more.
I, too would rather see them worn with love 🙂
I’d be flattered if they were worn to a nub! It’s like using my grandmother’s teacups for everyday. A wonderful set in the china “closet” when I was growing up, only taken out once a year to be washed, dried, and put back. After my mother died, they came to me. I’ve chipped one or two, but I think of my grandmother everytime I use them, and that’s better than keeping them in my cupboard until my girls inherit them etc etc.
I knit socks for my roommate and she won’t wear them. Makes me nuts. I’d rather see them worn. The best is when the person asks for another pair.
On the topic of socks, I do use the knit on cast on for these all the time with no troubles at all.
i loved lene’s post too . . . fortunately, my brother lets his 7 children wear all their knits all the time! i love to see the sweaters, hats and mitts lined up on hooks near the door when i visit, full of burrs from the field, or even a few pulls and holes. i know then that they are much-loved and serving their purpose. and of course there is the squeeze in my heart that i feel when i see the 15-year old sweater that i knit for nephew #1, on the shoulders of nephew #5.
To me, most of the beauty in an item is the love I’ve knitted into each stitch. A plain stockinette sock is as lovely as the laciest, cabliest, bobbliest item out there, if I knit it for someone I consider special. Therefore, I’d love it if they wore it often. But I also realize I can’t make people do what I want (as much as I try…) I knit lacy shawls, all purpose socks, workhorse bags and useful sweaters. I give a lot of things away, and hope the recipients use them in a way that makes them happy. If they come to me with worn out socks, I happily knit more. If, years from now, a lace shawl is still carefully folded away, it disappoints me, but that’s the choice the owner made. In that case, I haven’t knit much else for that person.
So, to make a long story less tedious, I want people to use and enjoy what I make.
Your grandmother was adorable!
I totally agree and rarely can find an attention span to make something that isn’t useful. I went to a stumpwork embriodery party with a friend of mine a few weeks ago….and pulled out my sock 2 hours into it! It just wasn’t for me. All that energy and time for something that might end up as decoration that no one sees.
Both my mother and my husband are hesitant to wear socks I’ve made them because they are afraid they’ll wear them out or damage them.
My dad, however, loves his handmade socks, wears them all the time and tells everyone he meets that his daughter made them herself! Guess who gets the most socks from me? Yup, Dad does, he needs more for rotating or his first pair would already be in shreds.
Mom and DH get other presents that don’t inspire anxiety.
That’s a tough one. It’s sort of like how one lvoes and uses books. Are you a gentle, worshipping lover, or are you a fiercely passionate lover? Of books, that is…
My SIL loves handknit socks and has worn out the very first pair I knit for her. Higher praise I cannot imagine. She definitely gets more socks. 🙂
I see that I’m with the majority here! Mom was waiting for special occasions to wear the socks I knit her – she was afraid she would wear them out! Now that she knows I’m perfectly happy to knit more socks for her, she’s wearing them more often. I love making things that people will actually use.
I’d vote for wearing it often and until it was worn out. I would hate the idea of something sitting in a drawer that was loved too much to use.
I guess I’d better get out the crocheted table cloth my paternal grandmother made for me over 30 years ago. 🙂
It just gives me a huge thrill when I see something I’ve made on someone who loves it. I definitely want to see those things on actual people and my hope is that they will love these things and take care of them because they love them. I don’t mind if it gets a little frayed around the edges and in spite of my compulsive urge to fix it, I get a little bit of a happy leap in my heart because they loved the thing that much.
I just finished my first pair of socks last night. Right now, they’re new and really special and I want to frame them. Ultimately though, I’d like them to be loved up and used a lot! That way, I get to repair my sweet socks and relive the joy of making them.
Wear them. But really, once given away, I have no more control over the socks.
I’m starting to get a reputation for hand knit socks and people are clamoring for more. Which is nice, but I don’t know if they apreciate what goes into them. My co-worker (who has four pair from me) is constantly complimenting them, and telling me how people noticed her socks and how she builds her wardrobe around them. Which is starting to sound like she’s either hinting broadly for more, or she’s laying it on thick. She’s talked so much that now my boss wants some and feels left out because she doesn’t have any.
And I agree on the length issue. My husband has 3 pair of long ones now.
I used to be a “wear it once, pack it away in cedar” knitter, mostly because I put a lot of time into planning, patterning, charting, and knitting things for the folks I love (and consequently, I’m a wicked slow knitter). However, when my grandmother died many years ago, I found a cheapo acrylic lap blanket I had made her carefully tucked away in tissue paper, as immaculately clean and plastic-y as the day I gave it to her. It pained me to think that she was so afraid of ruining it with an errant slip of the coffee cup or a dribble of food that she had hidden it away instead of letting the warmth and love I had knit into it care for and nourish her.
I gave the afghan to my mother, who has recently apologized that she uses it so much that she’s wearing it thin in spots. I told her very honestly that I didn’t mind, and that when it wore out I’d be delighted to patch it or knit her a new one.
Life is too short to spend that much time worrying about an acrylic afghan.
Extra-special fancy kneesocks? Well…for basically everyone I know, kneesocks are unusual-occasion wear, and my ideal would be the same as for a delicate lace shawl: I’d be thrilled if it/they were worn for special occasions and somehow displayed at other times. For normal socks or heavier shawls or sweaters, on the other hand, I’d prefer more consistent use. (Some of it depends on how much I would use such an item. If I would save it for special occasions, I won’t be offended that someone else would do the same.)
I have thought about this issue recently as well. My housemate commented that she couldn’t imagine putting so much time into socks, and a woman at my knitting group said she wouldn’t want to put her FEET, of all things, in such beautiful socks! Someone else said that a friend had needlepointed a footstool that nobody was allowed to use except when wearing clean white cotton socks.
We are not knitting for museums, people! Wear your knits! use your luxury items! Take good care of them, but don’t exile them to a drawer.
Also, in thinking about giving knitted items to people, I hope that they are worn and used.
However.
Once they leave my hands, they are no longer mine. I am not responsible for them, nor should the recipient be beholden to me to make sure that I am constantly updated on usage.
It is important to practice the art of letting go once we’ve decided to give a handknitted gift.
I’d have to agree that I’d want to see my knitting worn until it couldn’t be anymore. I love seeing it appreciated and that’s the best way for it to be shown. My mom is a huge fan of keepsakes and just putting things away to “remember it” but it just lays in a drawer or closet somewhere and gets forgotten. Plus, being military and them currently stationed overseas, it’s not even with her anymore, but in a huge storage bin somewhere in CA or KS depending on how old it is. The stuff in CA hasn’t been seen since I was 6, and I’m turning 20 this year. I would just prefer to see what I’ve worked so hard on being used. I guess an exception to that would be a lace shawl that was only worn out for special occasions, since it would most likely go to my mom and that’s the only time she wears anything “dressy”.
I with the use it, wear it out group. Spots, holes and other marks tell stories. Be the item completely practical or over the top gorgeous, I feel that it should be used and enjoyed. Who deserves to use/see beautiful things around more than our families and ourselves?
Yes, I want to see the baby blanket loved into a rag, the socks that kept feet warm until worn through, sweaters used and memories created with the wearing of them. I do knit pretty shawls, but even those are meant to be enjoyed on my body, not on the closet shelf. I am quite passionite about my knitting, but perhaps equally passionate about not wasting my time here. Life is just too short. Arguments can be made that the purpose of my knitting would be to comfort or relax me, or to teach me something, but ultimately, I want to see the knitted item used as it was created to be used. Respected for what was put into its creation, but loved into a rag if that is its purpose.
Your comment about socks being faster and easier to purchase made me think of the last time I bought a new pair of clogs. When I told the clerk I needed a wider pair to accomodate the slightly thicker knit socks I wear, she looked at me incredulously and asked, “You do know you can buy socks, right?” I didn’t think I could adequately explain to her the calming effect of knitting, the difference in the feel of the sock, or the warmth of the wool. I can go to my son’s football game on the coldest day and never have to stamp my feet to get feeling back in them.
As to the question – I don’t think there’s any point in having something you don’t use. To me, the item that’s always chosen to wear is the one that’s most loved.
I tell people who receive things knit or sewn from the heart, that I want them to use them. Use them so they get holes, fall apart and have many memories made with them. I make things for people that I hope they will use till they fall apart!
I want people to wear the things I make until they fall apart. I’m not a fan of the useless, in general, and I also like to fix coming-undone knitting (no, I’m not certifiably insane).
I still wear the things my grandmother knit for me in her last years. The woman knew how to make them last, and I get to think of her as a real and tangible presence each time I slip into the gray raglan or the aran cardigan. That’s the real gift I’d like to give people with my knitting — a loving and comforting presence.
I would want it to be loved to a nub and be asked for another.
However, you can’t always get what you want, so I try to enjoy the process of knitting and giving away that item, and let go of the rest, sending it out to the universe to deal with! I don’t need to control everything! 😀
Emms
I want holes in my socks. There’s a sense of pride to be taken when the receiver is running around going, “Look what I’m wearing!” every single time he or she loving chooses your item to wear. I’m making my first set of socks for someone else and I ’bout near broke my fingers knitting the tightest, most durable heel I could. Because, hey, no one knits something to be destroyed /on contact/. So you do what you can and hope that the person loves them enough to actually respect you and wear them. Who knits socks to be framed in a luscious merino? I want those puppies on someone’s feet.
If those socks weren’t worn through, I’d consider all my effort to have been wasted.
I also really like it when I get feedback from the wearer on how to improve the design. Wouldn’t get that if they were never worn, now would I?
I gave my mother a lovely pair of socks and not only does she never wear them, she won’t even wash them. Funky felted stuffed turtles for my 3 year old nephew and they put them on a shelf he can’t reach so he won’t “mess them up” (granted he has a destructive history, including supergluing his mouth shut). I’m solidly in the camp of use it until it disintegrates. However, there is a difference between non-use because you value the item so highly and non-use because you don’t value the item at all. People in the first category are quite excused by me!
I like to produce things that are attractive AND useful. If they’re not both then I wasted my time (as far as I’m concerned). The exception would be if I made a luxury item, like a Shetland Lace Shawl. Otherwise, it would make me happy to see a sweater I knit become a favourite sweater… one with holes and snags, but the wearer won’t give it up because they love it so much.
If it’s not used, my time seems wasted. My grown daughter must have 50 pairs of my socks because she wears them constantly, my son wore his pair once and said they made him look like a hick. He gets them no more.
If I were to spend that much time knitting something, and say…. a year or two later, the socks were still in tip top condition, I think I’d be a little more upset about that than if the giftee said “Hey, my socks wore a hole in them can you knit another pair?” I’d much rather knit something for someone who is going to wear it rather than stow it away. That’s just my opinion though, and not necessarily “right.” 🙂
Well, socks are right out for me at the moment, I absolutely stink at socks. I’m working on it, though. But when I spin or knit for my family, I spin or knit for it to be used. I made my son a winter hat and a scarf (the scarf was washable, so admittedly I didn’t worry about it as much) and my husband freaked out when our son whipped them both on to go outside and play – he is afraid of my wool, I think, and treats it like glass. I tell him that the boy can’t felt the hat too small for himself by playing in the snow, that he loves the hat and it keeps his ears warm. That’s good enough for me. I’m knitting a handspun scarf for my husband right now (as slow as I knit, I have to do it now if I want him to wear it next fall!) and I hope to God he actually wears it instead of treating it as if it were made of crystal.
All those years I made things for my mother and if she wore them or used them, it would have been once. After she died I found them ‘put away for special uses’ in drawers and cedar chests. She would use all her dish towels because she didn’t want to use them all up but keep them ‘for when she needed them’. She died at 87 and I’m using them now. (Shakes head.)At first I was very hurt, now just kind of numb about it.
OH my goodness. This post brings up all the memories of me knitting three pair of long socks in FINE wool for ny nephew who I adore. He received them for Christmas , looked at them and said ohhh nice colours. I’ve never seen him wear them. I’m afraid to even ask what became of them and so be it . I spent a TON of time and put love in each stitch of those socks and it hurts me that he doesn’t wear them.Needless to say he won’t be getting any more handmade socks. Lesson learned well. Make SURE that the person you give a hand knitted item to appreciates the time &love that go into it BEFORE you choose them to receive said item. I get the feeling that the only people that TRULY appreciate hand knitting are other knitters , friends and family that SEE you working on the needles.COULD this be true ? I hope not
Handknits should be worn. They should not languish in a drawer or cedar chest as heirlooms.
When I first learned to knit in college, I would crank out Lopi sweaters. Every year for Christmas I would make them for my brothers. My brothers are 8 and 10 years younger, so the Lopi sweaters at that size go really quick. I never saw my brothers wear those sweaters. Turns out they are tucked away in the cedar chest as cherished family heirlooms. Makes me sad. All the effort and love that went in to them and they are hiding away in a closet.
As soon as my nephew gets old enough, I’m digging them out so he can wear them.
The biggest compliment to me is when someone wears holes in the stuff I knit them. To me it means that it makes them feel comfortable and loved to wear it.
It’s an interesting question–I want the handmade socks I lovingly make for my family to be used, but at the same time, I don’t want them abused. They’re going to wear out eventually, it’s understood, but I’d rather they wear them on days when they want to feel special, or to show them off, than just because they were top of the sock drawer and are going to be thoughtlessly stuffed into boots for the rest of the day. Even myself–I wear store-bought socks on the days when no-one including myself is going to see the socks I’m wearing. But if I’m going to the doctor’s office, or are wearing shoes that will show them off, or just want to feel a little extra “lift” from something beautiful and handmade . . . I’m happy to work on wearing through those socks!
I do, however, really need to start knitting in some reinforcing thread . . . Koigu and such wears through far too quickly on its own!
there is a place for beautiful objects, hand made stuff that gets passes from generation to generation–but this should just be a small part of knitting.
i sometimes knit my granddaughter heirloom stuff (that i want her to wear, but that i also want her mothter (DIL)to take good care of, and to return it to me, if storage is too much trouble.
Mostly though, i knit everyday beauty.
things that can be worn, washed, and recycled to friend, or to her cousin(not our side of the family)
socks too–wear them, wash them, wear them out!
many years ago, when my grown daughter was a young teen, she was responsible for packing many items for a sleep away camp.
when we got her to camp, i went to make her bed, and as i spread out the ‘top blanket’ (a quilt i had made for her as toddler,) i saw the quilt was thread bare. it was torn, and stuffing was comming out..
i turned to her, and said “why ever did you pack this? we have so many blankets, why this one? its almost in rags!”
she looked at me, and replied “its still my favorite” all at once, i saw again the beauty of the quilt.
The quilt, eventually fell apart, and my DD grew up, but forever, we will have that moment. the quilt lives on in our hearts. where it never wears out, and never looks ratty and thread bare.
the things i knit, many of them, i know, are special to my granddaughter. they will be special no matter if they are worn out, or passes on to other to enjoy.
i have the double pleasure of knitting them, and watching her enjoy them.
(of course, she has no taste, and prefers the red heart yarn purple poncho to the merino wool sweater (which she thinks has pretty buttons!) but i knit for her, (purple poncho’s ) as well as for me, (flower garden sweater)
i made a baby quilt for a friend having her first baby, and when i gave it to her, i told her–it’s not for YOU, it’s for the baby. and i have pictures of this baby wrapped up like a burrito sleeping in the quilt, of him dragging it around with him, of him chewing on the corner. it’s been washed so many times that it’s almost completely white. he called me “green blanket lady” for the whole first year that he could talk. and now that he is seven, it’s been packed away into a box of treasured childhood things for him. that’s what i want for every item i make for someone. love.
I’m another vote for the wear-them-out group. As beautiful as they are, they are still not knit to be hung up on the wall.
I want my knitted items to be worn ’til they’re worn out! But I should also mention that when you live in Texas you could probably wear the same wool sweater every single time it gets cold enough to wear it and it would still last forever. Of course, that’s not the point here. . .
If it’s something that I slaved over and that cost me a ton of time and money to make, I’d want them to appreciate it – however they chose. If it meant that they only wore it on special occasions or that they wore it every time it was clean. Each of us has our own way of treating our favorite things.
Yes indeedy, worn so often there’s holes. It’d make me sad not to see them enjoyed, and I sgree with the commenter who said that things put away for special occasions are easily forgotten. It’s so funny that you posted this – my best friend has asked me to knit thigh-high stockings for her, and she’s 6 foot 2 (1.8 meters)! YIkES! What to do?!? They’ll take me years!
Often, I think. Although… not carelessly. If I were to knit thin lacy gorgeous socks, I wouldn’t want the wearer to, say, wear them hiking and then complain that they didn’t “hold up” to the wear.
I say – wear them until they get holes in them. I love to knit beautiful things but i love it even more to know that they are used by the recipient. as a person who knits almost exclusively for others, i feel sad thinking that s hand-knit gift would get oohed and aahed over then left in a closet or drawer.
I want my knits to be used, and used lots. (Although maybe not for tromping through mud…) If an item gets to be “nearly worn out”, it’s okay to save the remaining uses for special occasions.
DD wears the infamous Socks That Do Not End (only they did, a mere six months after I started them) with intarsia cable flowers on them every chance she gets, and although she hasn’t yet worn holes in them she always remarks that her feet are getting bigger, the socks are getting tighter, and I’d better knit her some more. It’s a race to see what will happen first — but if she outgrows them while they’re still whole I’m giving them to someone else to wear out. And knitting her some more.
Sorry how could I have forgotten to say —your Granmother is a BEAUTIFUL little girl in that picture and her knitted dress is a work of art by someone that truly loved her very much.Do you know who knit the dress for her and what colour it might have been ? Is’nt it wonderful to take time and look back at old pictures. I’m going to do just that as soon as I finish readung your book 3. I’m enjoying it VERY MUCH and learning something new on each page . I now have the most beautiful knitting bag and ALLL the most important things in it . Hope they stay there for a bit .
Wear ’em until they’re holey! I want them to be loved by the person they were made for as much and as often as possible so I get the joy of seeing them enjoy their socks 🙂 Socks are my favorite thing to knit so I’d be happy to make a second or thrid pair as the time goes and the socks wear.
I don’t know. I want to wear-wear-wear, but then when it starts to wear out, I start acting like it’s some sort of personal affront. How dare my carefully-created socks get HOLES! In the end, though, I’d rather see them worn. I’ve learned that if Rhys considers something truly special, she’ll pack it away and never touch it. That makes me a bit sad.
This question of handmade for practicality and handmade for luxury is still bouncing around in my brain, though. I remember reading about victorian ladies knitting as a parlor pastime. Is that all we are? Modern fragile fleurs entertaining ourselves with bourgeois diversions? I think there’s more to it than that, but I’m not sure exactly what. Sure, there’s *making*, a certain independence from industrialized and global production, but as you said, we hardly provide the sum total of our families’ sock needs. I’m not sure knitting really cuts into that dependence in any meaningful way.
There’s some sort of connection to the past, but really, knitting isn’t all that old–spinning is, but knitting has never really been a subsistence craft (except production knitting for sale–if you want to produce enough cloth to clothe your family, you’re better off weaving).
I need to actually do my indirect labor that clothes my family here, so I need to shut up, but you and Lene are making me think. In a good way. Thank you.
I’d want them to be worn until they fall into little shreds. I made a pair of socks for my long-time boyfriend several months ago. He has not once put them on his feet. He leaves them on the couch and sits on them every night while watching tv. He always checks on them to make sure they are both still there, but he won’t wear them. I’ve asked him several times why he does this but each time I get some mumbled distracted answer. I’ve since decided that I won’t make him another pairs of socks – ever! It would just make me happy to see him put them on, even if only for a few minutes here and there.
I definitely want my things to be worn and used. I’d be more than happy to darn or repair something as long as it can still be darned or repaired. Then I’d knit something else.
My grandmother sees my spinning as really special because she used to watch her grandmother spin cotton (they lived in Georgia) and knit the cotton into socks for all the family. I love to spin and knit, but I am glad that it is not a necessity!
Hey, I’m just happy if they fit. If they get worn, bonus!
I would like them worn every day and when you wear them, think of me. And remember that I love you.
I would want them to be worn often. In fact, I have told my family members for whom I have knitted socks that they come with a lifetime of free darning services. Until they can’t be darned anymore. Then I will knit them new ones.
I’m pretty sure that the only people who wear my handknit socks out of the house are me and my husband though. I know my parents just wear theirs around the house.
depends…if for me, I want practicality and obsess on how to make heels and soles strong, while the sock pretty; so consequently I do not wear mine much, but if for others; I agree with the ladies. More is better. Like the velveteen rabbit; better to be worn and real, than not loved at all!
depends…if for me, I want practicality and obsess on how to make heels and soles strong, while the sock pretty; so consequently I do not wear mine much, but if for others; I agree with the ladies. More is better. Like the velveteen rabbit; better to be worn and real, than not loved at all!
I’d want them to be worn until all that was left were threads. I take it as a compliment that things are worn & not stored away.
What would you consider the greater compliment?
Oh… good question!
I was going to unilaterally say the former, (wear ’em ’til they die). I made my dad some thrummed mittens for his birthday this year. It was hard! It took a ton of work, and was extra long (I think it took me at LEAST as long to make the thrums as it did to knit the mittens… which says a lot, because knitting in the thrums also took extra long, and much frustration, than straight knitting). They’re really warm, and they look great… and my dad won’t wear them, because they’re too nice, and he doesn’t want to get them dirty. It kills me! What a waste of time and effort if they only ever sit in a drawer hiding from my brother who tried from the minute he saw them to sneak off with them 🙂
But there are a few things I can think of that I’d want loved so much they were kept special. A Christening gown… a special baby dress (although, being baby wearables, their life expectancy is already short).
I still think most handknits fall into the first category. Wear them, enjoy them, and know always how much love I must have for you to spend that much time and energy on making it for you.
Another vote for the “wear ’em till you tear ’em” camp. If the person wears what you knit all the time, you know for sure they love what you’ve made them!
A reaction of “it’s too nice, I don’t want to ruin it” could be genuine, or could actually mean “it’s awful, but I don’t want to hurt your feelings” 🙁
I know this sounds strange, but I also appreciate it when someone asks me to not knit for them. My husband (who has huge feet, is constantly mucking through ditches and goes through socks like water) has asked me to not knit socks for him. He sees how much work goes into them and how long they take me and would rather I make socks for my daughter and my mother (and make snacks for his ditch-mucking expeditions).
i once consoled myself after a break-up by knitting myself striped knee-socks, my knees are quite far from the floor and my calves are large, not fitting normal socks or trampy boots (boo hoo). much yarn and time went into their creation and i wore them continuously, walking the bottoms out and darning and re-darning. finally i covered the bottoms in leather and called it a slipper. now, years later, my husband wears the “break-up socks” about the house on cold foggy evenings…
I would have to say if they were worn to death. If the recipent really loves them, they would wear them every chance they get and (cue corny music) think of me!
Oh, daily nag time-Atlanta on your book tour!~Atlanta on your book tour!!! (waiving gorgeous sock back and fourth for bait!):-)
I don’t knit socks, but a few years ago I knit my father-in-law a jacket out of lopi. Light lopi, on size eight needles, stranded color, the works. He’s worn it nearly to rags. Not abused it, in fact he insists on me washing it so it’s properly cared for, but he just wears it ALL THE TIME. He needs a jacket, he wears it. It’s cool in the house, he wears it.
I’m knitting him a new one for Christmas this year. That’s exactly what I inteded his gift for, and I love seeing it used.
On the other hand, I refuse to knit for much of my family because I know they’ll run good wool through the washer and dryer and I can’t take it.
I’ve made socks for friends who wore them continously until they developed holes in the heels. (They said they didn’t know they could wash them!) After reading “A Social History of Knitting in America” I can truly appreciate the time/dedication that went into knitting just to be warm. Now if I knit socks for a friend I do it on my Leagure sock machine. They are done in an hour, sturdy and if the wearer wears holes in them, I don’t feel so bad. Hand knit socks are for me or gifts for family.
My husband loves me. This I know. But he also tells me every time he pulls on a pair of wool socks I knit for him. That’s every day. He also says I must love him, too, because I knit him “the best socks”.
I know my kids love me (even when they may not say it each time) when they choose to wear the socks I knit for them instead of the store-bought ones. I think the love that goes into each stitch makes them warmer and makes the socks last longer. Or at least long enough until I finish knitting new ones (in my kids’ case, the next size up).
I’d much rather have someone use something I made for them until it falls apart rather than stick it in a drawer just to look at it. Socks, especially, are meant to be worn, and I would far rather someone wear through socks I made for them (and then ask me to either fix them, or make them another pair!) than to find out later that something I spent so much time and energy on is just collecting dust.
This question came up for me jus the other day. I sent a pair of Embossed Leaves socks to my sister. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE them and, apparently, she does too. That said, she was worried about wearing them and asked how sturdy they are. I told her that they’re wool, should be pretty sturdy, and I can make more. Please, please wear them. I knit a lot but I give most of it away. The joy for me is in the creation process and seeing someone else enjoy it. Use it often and I’ll knit for you again. Stick it in a closet and I make no such promises.
Back in the ’90s (lo those many years), I was a pretty prolific quilt maker. Having a kid? Sure, I’ll make you a quilt. And I loved, in the early part of this century to hear stories from friends that their kids had just about worn out the quilts, that they were now just rags. I did not like to hear from one cousin-in-law that she had folded the quilt, boxed it, and stored it in the attic. A sure way to rot the fibers, and that’s not how I want my handmade goods to wear out…I want it to be from love.
On the other hand, if the recipient wants to wear the socks I make him only in the house b/c he’s afraid of wearing them out if he wears them with shoes, that tickles me, too.
Thanks for the great question/post.
I had a similar issue with one of my first patterned woven rugs. I wove it in colors for my parents’ home–to be used. It spent the first 7 years on the back of the couch. I would return home for a visit and take it off the couch, put it on the floor, walk from one end to the other, and put it back on the couch. It now lives on the floor. Things are better used. (By the way, the rug was woven in 1977 and it still holding up great.) But once given we can only hope, not dictate, they will be used.
Wear ’em and wear ’em out! We’ll make more! There’s no greater compliment to me than to see someone wearing and truly enjoying something I’ve knit for them out of love.
I think I’d like it best if the someone loved my knitted gift so much that s/he learned to knit (or at least darn) so s/he could wear my gift as much as desired but fix it when necessary.
My husband asked me to handspin yarn of North American fiber producers: qiviut, bison, and Navajo-Churro sheep and to knit him knee-high hunting socks. He is 6′ 3″ and has a size 12 foot.
I did it. It took ages. The socks are warm, soft, and strong.
Except to try them on, my husband hasn’t worn them once, not even as bed socks.
Now he wants me to comb the fiber of his favorite Shetland sheep – two years’ worth of her fleeces – and knit him a sweater. I say this is grounds for divorce.
After all that work and love, I’d give anything to see a hole or two in the heels of those socks!
Here they are:
http://www.icanspin.com/~swussow/gracepics/huntingsoxdone2.jpg
http://www.icanspin.com/~swussow/gracepics/huntingsoxdone.jpg
I can see both sides. I would LOVE to have my items worn, but I also want them cared for well. I think it may depend on the type of garment it is as well. I personally wear my socks and love them. I am more careful with the sweaters. A piece of lace knitting, I’d treat with reverence!
Wear, wear, wear those puppies out! It gives me an excuse to make more.
EXCEPT for those special items–a lace wedding shawl, a christening dress–that are reverently brought out at those special moments, and oohed and aahed over, used, and then just as reverently handed on to the next generation.
I’m for seeing them worn — on the condition that REASONABLE care is taken. I’m thinking of the time my daughter (eight at the time) couldn’t wait for mum to finish the really cool blue cotton socks. And then promptly wore them to school and spent recess with her shoes OFF playing on (this still gives me the heebies) a wet muddy lawn. We discussed reasonable care that evening. Now she wears the funky variegated acrylic socks I made her and only takes them out of her shoes to put them in slippers. *Sigh*
But she’s learning. So am I. No good woolies for that kid til she can knit her own.
At your last book launch, my DH met me afterwards and we tagged along with you, Joe and assorted friends for dinner. You probably don’t recall the discussion about the lovely Aran sweater I lovingly made for my DH, and he was afraid to wear it. You looked at me and asked what I would do if he got a stain on it. My response? “Permanently stained?” And you advised my wonderful DH to NOT wear the sweater. With a straight face I might add. (We still laugh loudly and long over this). Since then, I have learned to relax a bit about my knits and he wears the sweater — albeit carefully. So with this background in mind — I will say that I do love to see the knits I make in use. Refusal to wear them will result in an absence of more knitted items. But the recipients are advised to wear them cautiously!
No-one (that I noticed anyway) has mentioned care of those precious handknit socks.
My darling under-two granddaughter has big feet. Yup, big. I have knit two pair of socks for her (working on more) and my dear daughter has heeded my pleas not to dry them – I see them on baby’s feet every week, DD washes in tha machine and puts them on TOP of the dryer to airdry.
Great kid.
Beverly
I made self striping mitts for my friend for Christmas. She crochets, so understands the time spent handmaking things. I get a thrill everytime I see those mitts on her hands or peeking out of her pocket – even if we are outside playing in the mud with the kids. When they wear out there will be more on the needles for her!
I want to see them loved too much to be put away. Hubby uses his socks about 10 times a year when he is sick. Comfort socks – I can deal with that, although I’d be happier seeing him wear ’em all the time. My Dad just got his first pair – a heavy merino that will restrict him to winter wear, but they are his favorite color so hopefully he’ll wear ’em out. 🙂
This question made me think of my grandmother’s front living room. She kept it perfectly clean, and no one was ever really allowed to use it. It had shiny gold, fuzzy wallpaper, fancy furniture, and a candy dish that I think contained the same ribbon candy for my entire life. What’s the point of a room you don’t use? (and candy you can’t eat??) What’s the point of a sock you don’t wear? When I gave my friend a baby blanket I knit for her, I insisted that it could be used and abused as necessary, and when she called to say it had survived its first of many washings, I was pleased. When I see it in her house, a bit pilled from use, I am thrilled.
If nobody wears out what you knit for them wouldn’t you end up (horror!) running out of people to knit for? I want to keep knitting so folk need to keep wearing it out!! I can see the terror on DH’s face thou’ when I say I’m gonna spin and knit him a sweater (he’s Steph’s Joe sized) and so can see the other side of the coin,i.e the ‘responsibility’ of such a garment. I just need to convince him to wear it and feel not the work but the love – after all that never runs out, eh?
I’m with you guys. Wear ’em ’til they’re dead. A guitar is meant to be played, a car is meant to be driven, a house is meant to be lived in and socks are meant to be worn.
There are so many ways to treasure something… sure, it would boost *my* ego to see them worn through till they’re raggedy! but it would also be special to know that they’re kept in a special place in the drawer and brought out for Special Occassions. (Christmas morning socks, maybe…) Maybe they’ll be bed-socks to keep the feet warm and cozy after a cold day skiing or lounge-around-the-house socks for the days they’re feeling sick.
…maybe the deepest form of appreciation would be if the recipient suddenly had an overwhelming urge to learn to knit socks!! 🙂 … if he said, “I want to make something this beautiful! Teach me.”
I am not an accomplished knitter, and I don’t really make handknits for gifts. But, I have been a potter for 20 years. When I do give my work to someone, I try to express that it is really for daily use. I would like to think that something that I have made enhances the user’s daily life. If it breaks, fix it, keep using it. Or ask me and I’ll make another. Beautiful handmade things add grace to our most routine tasks. They help us see beauty. They are a thread of humanity in an industrial world.
Stephanie, I spent most of one summer making a sweater for a friend, the first sweater in years. And I was absolutely delighted to find it, 4 years later (we don’t live near each other), behind the seat of her truck, clearly very much worn and now the “in case of emergencies” sweater. Use it up, I say! I’ll make you more.
My 2cents:
I’m a sucker for the gushing and the lots of wear. I’d knit the grand canyon a cozy if it sucked up to me. hahah!
Example? Oh sure!
I made a beanies for xmas one year for everyone and the *one* person — who married into the fam — LOVES hers…wears it all the time. Extolls the virtues of her Noro beanie…all the time. I love her almost more than her wife, my cousin. 😉 It’s getting the love it deserves…I now knit for her every XMAS…and enjoy every stitch.
*sigh*
Your question struck a personal cord with me. My husband and I are doing the long distance thing. Very long distance. As in China and U.S. long distance. We see each other twice a year. This past winter I finally learned to knit socks and immediately knit 3 pairs for him. In my mind, this is my way of trying to be with him constantly in spirits.
The other day he told me on the phone that the socks are starting to thin out around the ankles. That brought tears to my eyes. I was so happy. I didn’t have to tell him that the socks were the token of my love. He’s already living in them.
I had a hard time knitting the 5th baby blanket for one friend because I knew the other four were sitting on a shelf somewhere. I wish I had seen them in use – even just a couple of times! Another friend told me when her daughter was about 3-4, the blanket I gave when she was born was the one she wanted to use. What a great feeling! Now I usually make small items for babies – if it isn’t used there isn’t as much time/effort wasted.
I’m definitely in the wear it out camp.
I’ve finished my first shawl (koigu leaf lace) and sweater this spring and I’m pretty sure I’ve worn one or the other of them almost every day since they were completed. Add to that the koigu hats (of which my household possesses 6, 3 in need of mending) and various scarves and you have knitwear almost every day it’s cool enough to wear it.
I would want something I knit to be worn to bits because it was so well enjoyed the person wanted to wear/use it often.
Oddly I am the type of person who is fearful of “wasting” something that is a gift. It took me two years to wear some store bought pony tail holders a dear friend gave me. When she found out I hadn’t worn them she offered to send me more. Then I felt silly and foolish and started using them. *L* She has knit several scarf�s and hats and I still worry that maybe I’ll hurt them. Now that I’ve started knitting I feel less scared that I might accidentally unravel something. 😀
I can�t wait until I�m doing well enough to make something someone would love to bits!
*OtterHuggles*
I just have to weigh in on this one. I quilt, as well as knit, and occasionally, the recipient of the quilt feels as though the gift is “too good” to use and ends up stored away or hung on a wall. I have mixed feelings about this. Should I be flattered?
When I create either a quilt or something knitted, I think of it being used…warming, wrapping the recipient in a bit of my love (or at least warm thoughts and feelings). I am far more comfortable with the idea of the object being well loved and well used. Besides, this provides the bonus opportunity of knitting/quilting something else with the initial gift is loved beyond all repair.
I guess I would rather have people wear things than mummify them because they are “too good” for use. It took me a long time to be able to make things that were actually wearable! Then again, I know of a pair of sweaters I made for friends…they are worn ONLY when going to Montreal to visit family and/or attend Mass, a sign of very high esteem indeed. That feels pretty good too. 🙂
Is that The Gramma? The one who taught you to knit?
There is an old “Blessing for a handmade garment” – I don’t know where it is originally from, or exactly how old it is, but it starts: “May you wear this garment to shreds! May you wear this garment to tatters!” And that’s pretty much my feelings on the subject. Things that are made to be used, should be *used*. And as everyone else seems to be saying, you can always make more… so what if the yarn’s discontinued? The next pair will be different, but just as wonderful and fun to make. USE IT.
Also, I love Alice M’s comment above about the importance of handmade things in daily life… “a thread of humanity in an industrial world”. Yes indeed.
I know my husband loves the socks I make him because he wears them and wears them and wears them. They felt, and he still wears them. They get thin and he asks me to start another pair so he’ll have replacements. He compliments my knitting in the best possible way, to my mind.
My GREATEST frustration with the stuff I knit is that NOBODY will wear it!!!!! It’s not that it’s not pretty, or looks bad (I’ve been knitting for almost 40 years, for Heaven’s sake!!!!!) – they always say “it’s so pretty. . . . . .”
I MAKE THE FREAKING THINGS TO WEAR!!!!!!
I purposely make baby clothes, blankets, etc out of material that can be thrown in the washer with the rest of the baby clothes (in warm water, with bleach – I was a baby’s mom once, I remember!)
I purposely make clothes that can be worn over and over again, and SHOULD BE!!!!!
And, if they get a hole in them, I CAN FIX IT!!!!
You’ve hit a nerve, and I’m sorry for ranting – I’ve told everyone in my family that if they’re not going to wear what I knit, I’m not knitting for them any more. But they don’t listen. 🙁
The poets know best:
“beauty
is twice beautiful
and what is good doubly
good
when it is a case of two
woolen socks
in wintertime.”
Neruda, sure — but gee … where else have I seen that? Oh, yeah:
http://www.yarnharlot.ca/blog/archives/2004/12/27/eye_of_the_storm.html
Having said that I like it best when people wear things, I must say that some people do show their love for something differently than I would have them do.
My dad had a hunting hat when I was a girl. It was his favorite hunting hat, he wore it all winter every winter – it was squarish, vinyl on the outside, fur (fake, I am sure) lined and bright neon hunter’s orange. With ear flaps. Not long after my husband and I got married, my childhood home burned down and the hat was one of many things lost in the fire.
Two years ago, I wrote my first ever knitting pattern – a squarish hat with ear flaps, knit in my own handspun Finn yarn dyed the brightest orange I could find. I gave the replacement huntin’ hat to Dad for Christmas that year and he wore it the whole time I was home. While Mom assures me that he does still wear it from time to time, it spends more time on his nightstand than on his head. This still upsets me, but it shouldn’t – the nightstand is where Dad keeps the things his kids make him that are the most special to him, things he wants to see every morning when he wakes up, to remind himself how much he loves us, and we him.
While we as crafters may have a way we want to see our gifts used, we do have to remember to look and see the intentions of the recipient too, when they choose to use something differently than we would have them do. (Dad was tickled to death when I used the remainder of his huntin’ hat yarn to make the winter hat for my son!)
There is an old “Blessing for a handmade garment” – I don’t know where it is originally from, or exactly how old it is, but it starts: “May you wear this garment to shreds! May you wear this garment to tatters!” And that’s pretty much my feelings on the subject. Things that are made to be used, should be *used*. And as everyone else seems to be saying, you can always make more… so what if the yarn’s discontinued? The next pair will be different, but just as wonderful and fun to make. USE IT.
Also, I love Alice M’s comment above about the importance of handmade things in daily life… “a thread of humanity in an industrial world”. Yes indeed.
The first time I made my father socks, he lit up like Christmas and told me all about his mother who used to fall asleep every night knitting socks for her family. Half asleep, probably, as she kept right on knitting. My mother tells me the socks I made him are the first out of the drawer every time she does laundry. He’s getting more socks on a regular basis.
A bit of historical trivia – my kid volunteers at Colonial Williamsburg. One bit of information she got in training was that sock knitting was a standard kid chore at the time. Starting at the age of THREE an inch of sock per day per kid until the kid was in their teens – at which point boys got switched to work that took muscle, but girls got put in charge of spinning the yarn.
Count me among the “use it ’till it falls apart” contingent. It gives me great pleasure to see my knits being used, or to hear a friend say that the baby blanket I made for his child is still her favorite.
One of my great treasures is a navy blue wool coat that my mother knitted for me when I was about 18 months old. After I outgrew it, the coat migrated from one cousin to another, then to cousins’ children and neighbor children, no telling how many of them. After warming so many little people in the course of nearly 40 years, the coat somehow made its way back to my mother, who passed it along to me. In spite of years of use, it’s still in fairly good shape, only missing one button. Amazing.
I think it is the greater compliment for them to be worn. At Christmas my sister-in-law asked me to make her a purse. My mother-in-law replied “If she makes it for you, you can never use it – it is too precious”. I responded that I like the items that I make to be used. If I don’t want it to be used I will make wall hangings. Although my MIL is someone who doesn’t use anything given to her as a gift – even coffee mugs.
Yes, I read Lene’s posting on handknit items as well. When I make socks for people, I promise a lifetime of repair. I urge them to send the socks back to me when they begin to wear thin and I promise to repair them. (I don’t repair full blown holes, however.) So far no one has taken me up on the guarantee. Does this mean they are not being worn?? does this means that they don’t care for the socks? does this mean they cavalierly toss the socks when they develop worn spots? Oh, I shudder to think of the abuse these socks endure.
However, I knit a second pair of socks for someone only after they have expressed gratitude not just once, but more than once. Or, they have to bring the socks up in conversation: e.g. “Oh, I wore your socks yesterday and they were so very cozy!!!” something like that. Then, the cherished friend or relative gets another pair. If I never hear a bleeping word from them about the fabulous socks I lovingly made for them, they are off my finished objects list–forever!!
Use them-that is what I made them for! There is nothing worse than when I make something for someone and I don’t think they are using it. On the same note, it does pain me a bit to see my handknits with holes in them, but then it is a good excuse to make another pair!
My MIL and I just recently had this discussion about the cost of making things (this case it was sewing clothing for the kids) versus the cost to buy it. It is kind of sad how expensive it has become to make something yourself-but I am with you-my family would have lost their toes by now if it was up to me to keep them in socks. So I guess you gotta give a little somewhere, and in this case it just happens to be the pocketbook.
Nothing irritates me more than someone who refuses to wear something I’ve knit “because it’s too nice.” Wearing something until it’s worn out is the highest compliment someone can give a knitter. It means that they truly appreciate & love the garment & that the garment is fulfilling its’ purpose.
I knit a sweater years ago for a friend. I recently found out it was worn for over 15 years, basically until it wore right out. I was thrilled!! (and you know, I don’t even have a photo of it)
please wear them they can always be darned i love to see my family wear the sox i knit
please wear them they can always be repaired i love to see my family wear the socks i knit
I am a quilter (who knits a little on the side) and it drives me nuts if someone doesn’t use a quilt that I made them – especially one that I’ve hand quilted. I don’t make art quilts, I make everyday quilts. It’s ok if the kids jump on it, the dog sleeps on it, or it gets dragged all over the house. I don’t care if my quilts get raggedy quickly – it just means I have to make another one and that doesn’t bother me.
But once I give a quilt away, there’s nothing that I can do about how it’s used (or not used). And that’s something that I’ve had to “get over” after all these years.
It’s hard to say. Once a year my mom and I make a special trip out to Oregon Flock and Fiber and she buys something really special. Usually merino/silk roving handpainted by the Twisted Sisters. I spin it up and make her a special pair of socks. It really shows how my spinning has improved over the past few years since the first pair were on 8s and each year it gets progressively finer, I think I am on 2-3s now. Well, my mother only wears them occasionally to keep them nice, but when she took them out to wear this winter they had little bug hole chews. She was just devastated and now has to patch the tiny holes. I am glad that she cherishes them so, but it would be better if she got more use out of them than the bugs =)
While on a canoe trip in Quetico Provincial Park, I promised the group on the trip that I would make them alpaca socks from my boys to commemorate the trip. I had never made socks before. I kept my promise, but I think it took me almost a year (Four pairs of socks, handspun, handknit.) Anyway, one pair went to my friend Sabine. She called me last month to say that the socks had met an honorable end. A family friend was in her last days suffering from cancer, and the family couldn’t find anything that would keep her feet warm. Sabine had the solution, of course, in the alpaca socks. They went on Linda’s feet, and kept her feet warm as she went into the next world. They were cremated with her. I couldn’t have been more honored.
I love the garments I knit for others to be worn with pleasure. My recipients all have different tactics. My friend likes what I knit and will wear it to death. My mum treasures what I knit and stores it the wardrobe, except for the Rowan Birch shawl which I have seen out once but it didn’t get worn! My husband prefers manmade fleece type jackets and pullovers to handknits but did ask for a scarf for Christmas so there is hope. Finally my son gets no choice in the matter at the moment but out grows things before they are worn out. Still its a pleasure to knit them all.
Love the mittens by the way.
the greater compliment would be to wear them out baby!
if something is so wonderful that you cant help but love it -the feel the fit the color… wear it out.
i made a pair of socks for a friend of mine in worsted weight yarn cuz her feet get really cold in the winter. and she loves them however she just moved in august (to Georgia) and never gets to wear them anymore.
but before she moved she wore them constantly.
also giving a baby blanket to someone and finding out that the baby has deemed it his/her lovie and wont let it go even to be washed? thats even better because now i have made an impact on a little person life.
i will gladly make more items if they are going to be used:)
I made my mom a lovely pair of patterened mittens for Christmas one year. She knits, so I know she knows the amount of work I put into them. At first I was kind of hurt that she wasn’t wearing them, but I’m also kind of touched that she saves them in drawer. Like they’re not just mitts, they’re something I made especially for her.
But I’d be just as happy to see them full of holes and well used.
I want them to love it so much they wear it out. I don’t want someone to save for that special occasion.
I would want them worn often and with love and affection. So this also begs the question, who DO you knit socks for? So far I’ve only knit for immediately family members that I really like. Friends have asked for them, but at what point does that friendship reach the hand knit sock point?
Wear it! Years ago, I spent weeks (longer than usualy because it was a surprise) making my husband an Norwegian pattern sweater (he is as Norwegian as they come!). He loves it and wears it once or twice a year, so it doesn’t get “used up”. This year, I begged him to use it up. I would much rather have to replace the sweater because he loved it to death than have it sit on a shelf in the closet! What finally worked was to tease him that I would bury him in it (he’s only 45) because he never wore it. He now calls it his funeral sweater, but has worn it all winter!
It drives me nuts (a frequent trip) that people will spend outragious amounts on clothes at The Gap and other places, but won’t pay enough to cover the cost of yarn for handmade garments by local knitters and crocheters.
Add me to the “wear ‘n tear” group. I love seeing photos of my brother wearing the scarf I made him, or my Dad telling me that he got compliments on his hat.
It’s not only telling someone else that you love them, but letting the knit tell other people that you love the knit-wearer (I hope that makes sense). Handknits are like a big freakin’ sign blinking: “HEY. SOMEONE LOVES THIS PERSON.”
And they can’t do that in a drawer.
I’m fairly loose about what people do with knits that I give them – I would hate for someone to wear something just because I gave it to them. And if someone wants to keep something so it doesn’t wear out I’m ok with that (socks do not count here, I have yet to see the socks nice enough to justify that). That said, I enjoy seeing people wear things I made for them. (With the exception of wrist warmers that I made for a friend of mine… poor fashion choice on my part, and he refuses to listen to my suggestions that they don’t suit him.)
My mom once forgot and threw a pair of wool socks I made her in the wash. I am no longer allowed to knit her non-washable socks, but that was her call not mine, as she cared a lot more about the felted socks incident than I did. I made her a buffalo wool sweater instead, and she wears it whenever she’s cold. (It says something about the temperature my family keeps the house at that I’ve seen her wear it inside).
My grandmother, on the other hand, is a believer that if I put a lot of effor into it she can’t use it. She once gave me a cross stitch tablecloth kit she had, and I started on making the napkins, and gave her one for Christmas the year I finished it. I promised her that I’d finish the rest of the set soon so she could use them, and was told that she would never use them, as the one I had given her was too nice. The cross stitch work promptly stopped and she only gets socks on probation – she’s not getting more until these start to show wear.
Wear ’em! Use ’em! I’m fairly new to knitting, but when I make quilts as gifts, I always run them through BOTH the washer and dryer, then wrap them up along with care instructions. I find this makes such a huge difference with baby/crib quilts–it sort of “proves” to the parents that you meant the quilt to be loved. I usually include a note too that the quilt is meant to spend time in the washer and dryer–that they shouldn’t worry about spit ups and anything else on the quilt. I love hearing about kids dragging their “blankies” around the house because I know they’re well loved.
I’ll be giving knitted gifts (socks!) for the first time this Christmas and each will also be pre-washed and come with care instructions–easy care instructions. I know whose lifestyle just can’t account for handwashing and “coddling” of specialty fibers so I try to make sure the gift matches their tolerance for…er…finicky care.
Things are rarely black-or-white for me. I am happy that some of my knitted things are worn often AND some are safely packed away to be admired or saved as an heirlooms.
One thing that bothers me is carelessness with my gifts. A couple of weeks ago, my husband washed two pairs of hand-knitted socks with other stuff that required warm water and dried them hot in the dryer. He also forgot to check his jeans pocket and washed paper receipts with the entire load. It hurt me that after all the years we’ve been together he still doesn’t take better care of my work. I guess I need more focus on really letting go of gifts instead of attaching expectations to them as I release them to somebody else. After all, if I expect any returns from my gifts, like expecting them to be taken care of, they’re really not TRUE gifts, are they?
One of the very first things I ever knit was a baby blanket that I gave to friends. That was the last time I ever saw it, and it was never even mentioned again. The toys my husband brought over at the same time were mentioned and even seen again, but the blanket? Nothing. Not even pulled out when we would go over to visit. Needless to say, I’m still a bit scarred by the experience. Who knows? Maybe she washed it and the whole thing came apart and they couldn’t bear to tell me .. . at any rate — I’m in the use = love camp for sure.
Wear them every day until they can be mended no longer. What greater compliment is there than that?
The bigger the holes the bigger the love, baby!
You take pictures to keep and send the product away. Seems logical to me anyways.
I used to be a “saver”…can’t wear the diamond studs Husband gave me, might lose one, can’t use the fancy lotion Sister gave me, have to save it for a special occasion, can’t use the hanky with the hand-made tatting Grandma made me,might stain it–you get the idea.
Just about 3 years ago, all my “savings”, and I do mean ALL, were thoroughly blown/smashed/ruined in the huge tornado that roared right through my home. I have deep regrets over the things I could have enjoyed, but instead, chose to save for later. For later what?
Now, when someone gives me something, no matter what, I revel in using/wearing/enjoying it right away–I might put on my new diamond earrings to scrub the floor, lavish my skin with as much creamy lotion as I can put on, and use that tea towel that someone so painstakingly embroidered for me to wrap a warm loaf of freshly baked bread, or dry a sink full of dishes.
It thrills me to no end to see someone using something I have made for them. I’d much rather know that they got a spot on it, or snagged it, or wore a hole in it enjoying it in their everyday life, than know it ended up out in a pasture riddled with holes, driven with dirt,glass and splinters, sitting in a pile of cow dung, yet they never had the chance to enjoy it. The Captain
Worn out. All the way. That way I know that they just couldn’t get enough of them
I prefer the worn a LOT!
unless it’s a fragile lace thing, I guess…
But still cared for. Not tossed in the washer willy nilly, and never dropped on the floor.
but certainly WORN!!! After all, that IS what I made if for…
I love that my mother wears the various feet warmers that I have knit every.single.day. I tried felting (she still wore holes into them), I tried making slipper socks with leather soles (two months later, one of the soles started to split). I have to admit, I’d be a little happier if she wore through them with less speed. I may have to hold out on her until I can present her with multiple pairs and make her rotate them.
I love that the baby jacket I knit for a friend’s first child is both used and intended to be kept as an heirloom. She’ll be getting more handknits!
Someone commented on Lene’s blog that she loves the fact that if society fell apart, she could clothe her family. I said the same thing, jokingly, to my sister the other day, having added spinning and weaving to my hobbies. But even though it was meant as a joke, I realize it still speaks to my desire for the result to be useful — in addition to the love of actually producing a beautiful object.
A friend of mine wore the socks I knit her every day at a recent yoga retreat. I was thrilled that she loved them that much. She said she was warm as could be between classes. (In fact, I run into people from that retreat (who I’d never met before) who hear my name and say: “Socks!” Man, she’d make a great publicist.)
But for me knitting is meant to be wearable, functional art. If I wear my knitting, why shouldn’t everybody else I give it to? If it were only art work, it should be in a frame. (Heehee. Actually, the thought of some of the less successful “art” I’ve knitted being saved like that gives me the giggles. I just picture someone pulling it out, years later, and thinking, “Now why did I save this thing again?”)
Maybe this is why I so rarely knit for other people. It takes so much time (for me!) to knit something, even if it is a simple pair of socks, and if I knit them something I want them to love it and wear it ALL THE TIME! They so rarely do, so I save my knitties for myself and give my family little things from stores that won’t hurt my feelings if they don’t just adore them!
The one exception is my two-year-old son, who seems to immediately love the stuffing right out of handknit toys. That’s the kindof knitting appreciation I like to see!
I told a friend of mine not too long ago that to give someone a pair of hand knit socks was to give them a secret hug to keep with them all day. A knitted blanket could be there to warm and comfort when I couldn’t.
I knit for people, not posterity. (although I knit so damn slowly you’d be hard pressed to tell the difference sometimes. sigh.)
Wear them! wear them! My mom is cold all winter, and it makes us both feel warmer when she wears the merino wool socks I made her for Christmas. She’s usually the sort of person who puts things away ’cause they are too nice to wear, so this is a real triumph for me.
Both are major compliments. The handmade sweater sets for my babies (36, 33, 28 & 26)have been handed down to their babies. My kids did wear them. I cherish the afghans made by my Mom & Aunt. They were used as well as admired. Right now they are stored away but I am going to give them to my kids. My Mom always had a drawer full of hand knit slippers to give away. Every color, every size. She made them so we would wear them not store them away. We wore them and wore them out.
Worn with holes. For me, imagining a friend kept warm by a wooly love knit by me, for them, is the ultimate compliment. It’d be oh so ick outside and they’d have something nice to keep an important body part warm and possibly feel my hug from far away.
I do try to knit things they’d wear, though. Not reindeer sweaters but something that hopefully says “Hey, I thought this was your style”.
Finished “Knitting Rules” this morning. I have passed it on to co-workers (knitters, of course). The book is great. Informative, entertaining. You made me feel especially good about scarf knitting. I have moved on to the shawl (a really big scarf). I am still intimidated by the sock & sweater. Eventually, I will enter that world. I will tire of the scarf, belt, headband and shawl. I will need the challenge.
The question of the over-fond knitter…
Many people take the stance that once a gift is given, it is no longer yours so you should have no attachment to how it is used. While that is true in a way, I see no reason why I should forget about the gift as soon as it leaves my hands, or try to suppress any hopes I may have for it. I will watch to see how it is used or appreciated. If someone loves it and packs it away as a special heirloom, that is fine. I probably will not be motivated to knit more things for that person — after all, the knitted love will last forever, so they don’t need anything else. I’m not hurt by it; it’s okay. If someone is downright unappreciative, of course, I am hurt and will likely never knit for them again (yeah, I’m okay with holding small grudges. Makes life interesting). If, however, a recipient seems to appreciate the item and also finds it useful, that is my favorite response and knitting other items for them will be a joy.
I remember you said once that you stopped making knitted items for your sister because you don’t share the same tastes and she didn’t really seem to enjoy them. That’s just what I would do too! It wouldn’t mean that I had STOPPED LOVING my sister, for crying out loud.
The only thing I would find discomfiting is if they never wore them at all. Otherwise (and actually, even including that) it’s entirely up to them how the socks are worn – that’s part of it being a gift.
You only go around once…you can’t take it with you. So wear the item and love it. My mom told me that my dad was saving a LL Bean bag I gave him because he wanted to keep it nice and clean. My response was that if I find it in pristine condition when he is dead and gone…I’m going to be really pissed. So what are you saving it for? Wear it!
I’m totally on the side of the person who wears and wears the knitted item until it’s got holes and can’t be used anymore. I beam with happiness everytime my father tells me he’s wearing one of the pairs of handmade socks I’ve knit for him. I love seeing the people I love wearing my love/knitting.
For me, knitting things to give away as presents is a form of making my love for them tangible. Which is why I carefully plan and knit as many Christmas presents as possible as well as birthday presents.
I’d love to see things I’ve made passed down through generations like many of the sweaters my grandmother, mother and aunts made. To me, it’s like wearing a very personal piece of history.
I think for me, it depends on what the item is. Socks? Wear them until they’re threadbare and holey and I have to sneak them out of the laundry. The mind-bogglingly complicated lace shawl I’m knitting for my mother? While I want her to wear it (she won’t), I also want her to take very good care of it, and be careful with it, and preserve it to pass down to my kids, and grandkids, and so on.
Worn threadbare… my toddler’s binkit is going to be a handful of acrylic pills by the time he no longer uses it… I’ll pull it out of a special box and cry when he’s grown… (Hurray, it’s a girl, I’m no longer pregnant:-)
I’m a new knitter (as in 3 months-new), and I just knit my husband a pair of socks. Squeezed them in somewhere between my own 3 pairs, a sweater, a baby sweater, 3 scarves, and an afghan (with steeks!) in progress. He wears them every chance he gets – even when it’s too warm for navy blue worsted wool – and I’m not sure how far into the fall they’ll make it after their summer hiatus. In a heartbeat, I would rather have him wear them to death than treat them like some luxury item. By his wearing them that much, in my eyes, they’ve been loved and cherished. These things we knit have a purpose, and some are meant to be kept for a lifetime, and some are meant to warm the toes of the people you love.
I’d want them to wear them, to be warmed by them and maybe notice their beuaty while wearing them, and to realize someone they loved had made the socks for them.
I think actions speak louder then words, and if I were knit someone something, no matter how beautiful it is, no matter how long and hard I worked onit, I knit it for them to wear. So if the wear it so often it wears out – I’d be delirious.
If they wore it out with carelessness, I mightn’t be too pleased (spilt something staining on it first wear out, perhaps..)… but if they wore it out with love, how could I ask for anything more?
I think if the item is a once-and-awhile wear item, perhaps infrequent wear would be expected.. but, then, I pick the projects I make for people based on what I think would work for that person as something to be a part of their regular wardrobe.
Like, I knit my mum a sweet little poncho (and bless her, she had no idea how to put it on when it arrived…) and in under a year it reeks of smoke – because she wears it whenever she sits in her “smoking room” with the window open. Which is every day. Because she thinks it’s perfect for keeping the draft off her neck and shoulders.
And maybe I hate the smell of smoke, but I love that I managed to make her something she so much appreciates.
worn into the dirt.
My mother would knit for every baby she came across, and she would be offended if the baby or toddler didn’t wear her knit creation to death. She considered it a great compliment if the jumper she had knit for a little person was raggety and fuzzy from being washed loads of times before it was outgrown, and I agree with her sentiment. The only reason I still have the last sweater she knit for my children is because my daughter outgrew it before she outwore it, so I keep it in my memory drawer and smile every time I see it.
In Houston, the socks would not get worn out that quickly. I think winter this year was 4 days long, none of them consecutive. As for everything else, wear it, love it, wear holes in it, but please, please, please use it. Hubby’s sis won’t let her kids wear the hats and mittens I made for them and their afghans are stuck on a shelf somewhere. My kids drag theirs around and I have to pry the holey stuff out of their sleeping fingers to wash them.
My aunt just brought me 3 pairs of socks with holes in the heel to darn for her. She says my handknit socks are the first ones she reaches for in the drawer. I’m going to knit her more – she deserves them!
I love to see the things I make used!! I made a sweaterdress for my 3 year old niece and a sweater for my 5 year old nephew. I was so pleased to see them wear them to preschool! My sister could have easily said that they might get dirty, but she let them wear them to school anyway. Nothing compares to overhearing your little niece say proudly “My Aunt Jenny made this for me”. It tells me that I am special to them, and it tells them that they are important enough to take the time to make things especially fo them and I will always make them more because they are so worth it.
I’m happy when I know these things are going to be be worn, and worn, until they disintegrate. Socks, gloves, hats, all those essentials. Sweaters too, if they’re made for people who work outdoors and are going to wear them hard. That’s the idea. And frankly, that then means I can knit them replacements… I also knit Christening shawls etc. for those who will appreciate them, and the odd special scarf or shawl, but I’d rather just see the knitted stuff getting worn out…
Wear them! Wear them ’till they’re holey! Wear them till they can almost stand up, because you love them so much that you don’t want to take them off to wash them…(please don’t let my children see the last line…they’ll think it’s permission!). If I spent the time and care to knit you something and you don’t wear it…it’ll be a VERY cold day before I knit you something else!
Worn or used, please. I remember an afghan we had when I was growing up. There were green stripes in basket weave and yellow stripes in cable knit. I think grandmothers of each side of the family knit it. We used it as a lap robe, and we made tents with it. We loved it. It might be nice if there were something left of it, but better used by four kids. And I am sure that is how I first learned the word afghan and associated it with grandmas who knit. But then we always used the sterling silver every day (with melmac plates). I am knitting fair isle Socks that Rock socks. They are really fantastic, and people say they are too pretty to wear. Nope, I’ll wear them around the house and in my clogs. I knit my older son a pair of socks in his hoped for school colors. He wore them, but they were so baggy that he needed rubber bands to hold them up. I gave my mom a sweater that I knit for myself because I found that it looked better on her and I rarely wore it.
Often, often, often. I love it when my SO wears a pair of socks that I made for him. Did I mention that he wears size 15 shoes? I’d call those a labor of love ’cause it seems like they take twice as long to make as a pair for me. Oh, and did I mention that I made a pair of *entrelac* socks for him? 😉
Life is short! … Wear the socks! Enjoy them till they wear out and need fixing or replacing. They aren’t fulfilling their purpose unless they are being used.
Life is short. Wear those suckers!
If ever I finish the wooly and simple sweater I am knitting for my beloved husband, it would bring me immense joy to see him wear it often. His love for me is huge and I know that he will indeed wear it, if only as a symbol of a passionate hug from his loving wife. Gotta knit now! Blessings, Julie
I’ve had the same situation. I made a friend socks. This is one of my dearest friends, and I know that she takes care of her clothing (her mum sews everything from prom gowns to costumes). I also know that she is an active person. I debated on it-I knew I was spending a lot of time, and that they were still kind of hard for me. I also knew that she is my best friend, and she loves the colors. I finally just wrote down that they shouldn’t be handwashed just in case, as the label wasn’t in English, and preferably dried flat so they keep their shape. She loves them, and has been using them as slippers in her house. If they get holes, so be it, I’ll knit some more. I’m going to miss my friends horribly next year; we’re all in different states for college. So I’m stocking up on my sock yarn now so I can make them all socks to send.
I’m in the wear-it-out category. Particularly socks. I started knitting socks a couple of years ago after my twins were born and I wanted something small and fun to knit. I always get a kick out of wearing my socks, but I still have a little pang when I find the first hole.
Of course, buying another bit of sock yarn to replace the worn pair always seems to ease the pain a bit. Funny how that works.
For me, the highest compliment is for the sock recipient to wear those socks once a week for the rest of their life, so those socks get washed in the laundry every week, and worn again. If they ever wear thin, I will mend them with joy. That kind of recipient will receive even more socks in the future from me. The person who saves the socks and rarely wears them will not receive any more from me.
So there.
There is a saying passed down in my family that pretty much says the way it used to be: “Use it up, wear it out, make do, or do without.” Obviously I was raised during the depression. I still have a tiny dress that my mother knit on small needles in a deep plum that has tiny buttons and lace and ruffles and it is full of “worn.” I’m going on 70 and can’t imagine who will want it after I’m gone, but I love taking it out of the cedar chest and looking at it.
That’s a tough question. As someone knitting their very first pair of socks, I would hope they would be loved and worn until they fall apart.
On the other hand, my Mom was an amazing knitter, sadly she never taught me, I taught myself about a year ago. She died when I was in my 20’s. She knit many gorgeous sweaters for my older sister’s sons but my son was born several years after she died. I am everlastingly grateful to my sister that she carefully kept and cherished the sweaters knit for her boys becasue it meant she was able to pass some of them on to me for my son.
my mother keeps asking me to make her a sweater. I’ve made my brother & not-quite-step-dad fingerless mittens, and now my mother wants a sweater. my only criteria when giving people handknits: take care of it. my best friend will never get another handknit because she carelessly tossed the alpaca beanie into her hamper, and then washed it (washed! alpaca! in the machine!). I asked my mom, who is not known for following laundering instructions on tags of store-bought clothes, “if I tell you to handwash it, will you ACTUALLY handwash it?” and she promised me yes, she would. that promise alone was enough to pick out yarn for the mom!sweater. now, if she puts a cotton/merino sweater in her machine, I will cry and yell and never give her another handknit ever.
Absolutely positively worn out to shreds. And then be a good enough friend to ask for another pair cuz you loved them so much.
The more wear, the more love. My dad still wears the first sweater my mom ever knit for him, over 35 years ago. It has patches on the elbows and the cuffs are frayed beyond repair, but every time he puts it on, he thinks of his loving wife. That’s what I want for my knitted gifts, especially the socks.
after making several pairs of socks for my mother, my niece asked for a pair (and i think my mom got sick of her stealing them from her…they live together) i just sent off a pair of knee-high socks with a simple little pattern down the back. my mother tells me michelle hasn’t taken them off yet…its been 3 days. this makes me very happy and also makes me feel sad for my mother who has to live with potentially smelly feet :>
Wanted to say how much I love this site. My daily sanity break that makes me laugh and wish I was a better knitter. Have been reading the archives as I am new to this blog and saw the “Wool Pig” salt and pepper shakers from last year. Had to go check and ebay and low and behold there are some there today. (Search “knitted pig salt & pepper”).
I’m guessing they won’t last long.
Stephanie, I love the sight. Thanks for all the time, thought, love and humor you put into it. Hope you make a million off the new book.
Definitely worn until there are holes. I made a pair for my mom for the first time and I’m hoping she’ll wear holes in them!
There is only one project that I’ve knitted that is ‘put away for a special occasion’ – my son’s white, lace, christening blanket. I hope my future DIL will want to wear it on her wedding day as a shawl. If not, though, I won’t be disappointed and maybe their children can use it for their christenings instead.
It’s always nice to have one or two ‘heirloom’ pieces in a family.
But socks, sweaters, hats, mittens, scarves, etc. Please wear them and love them to bits. There are always more ‘on the needles’.
I made my mother a beautiful lace shawl that is now tenderly wrapped in tissue paper in her dresser. I doubt she will ever wear it because she “treasures” it so much and it breaks my heart. There is probably no use trying to explain to her that I would prefer it be worn – and worn to death if necessary. I definitely want my things worn!
I DO want folks to wear/use the handknits I give them, but they should do so as they want. I do have an observation for the several folks who commented that they knit a pair of socks for someone who never wore them — and then would not knit more for the “non-wearer.” You might want to ask WHY they do not wear them.
I knit socks for my husband from time to time, but he only wore them every now and again. This past Xmas, however, I lost my mind and knit him a stocking full of stockings; I think there were seven different varieties of pairs of socks in his Xmas stocking. The look on his face was priceless — and the upshot has been that he now has so MANY handknit socks that he does not feel he can only wear them occasionally. Now that he has enough to rotate them and keep them in good shape, he wears ’em all the time. Go figure.
It depends on the item. Sometimes I like to make crazy heirloom stuff, like wedding shawls and naming gowns, and I like to think of them travelling into the future with the generations of my family. Heirlooms are useful, in their own way…they are special and give important life events a tie to their history. Other times, though, I am knitting something useful for daily wear, and it would make me sad to see it treated as a once-every-ten-years item.
It is also important to check and make sure that the recipient actually likes the fit, style, or color of the garment. I think that sometimes we get caught up in a certain idea or design, and don’t stop to think that a certain person hates wool, would never wear mauve, or has a fashion sense that says wooly socks and sweaters are for wearing around the house, only.
The first (and so far, only) thing I have knit for my husband is a very simple navy blue dock cap. I thought about it for a long time, and watched what color shirts he wore all the time and which ones spent most of their time in the closet. He wears his hat pretty much every day. I’m not going to knit him another until this one wears out, because in his mind, he already has the perfect hat, and therefore the Hat Question is solved.
What a great blog entry and comments! I want to see my hand knits worn and loved. Sure I want them to be taken care of, but only in what’s reasonable. Knitted items gain beauty in the wearing.
I do like to see the things I make being worn. I think that’s why I like mittens-I can see them all the time. Socks are so often hidden, although socks are another passion of mine. Yes, I think things being worn is a wonderful compliment.
I also love to wear things people have made for me, even if the pink of the hat bites the red of my coat. I don’t care, I like the feeling of love that went into it. I’ll wear it, I have no shame.
My Mum asked me to make her a dress (I do a lot of clothes sewing) which I did – spent ages making a lovely plain black velvet dress that fitted her perfectly – she said it was so nice she would save it for a special occasion – she was diagnosed with breast cancer and died within 18 months and the dress was never worn – not even once – what was the point of me making it? – I didn’t need to do it to show her how much I loved her, she already knew – it was just a waste of my time and energy and the fabric – it didn’t even hold memories of her as it was never worn – but the cheapo skirt she wore ALL THE TIME when I was a child is packed away in a special drawer in tissue paper to protect it, as it is so threadbare that it is like tissue paper itself – worn thin through love and daily use – thats the item I pull out to remind me of her
Wear the stuff – whats the point of hoarding clothes you don’t wear? – logically what are they for? – I’ve nearly finished the Birch shawl in kidsilk haze and I intend to wear it until its felted and fuzzy and holey and every time I look at it I’ll remember all the times I wore it
I did like the sentiment someone said above that someone wearing the thing you made for them tells the world “HEY. SOMEONE LOVES THIS PERSON.” – thats a really lovely way of looking at it.
Also the commenter who asked who would want her 70 year old dress when she’s gone – I have to say that anyone with a love of old cherished possessions would want it – the fact that it well-loved makes it all the more precious – far more so that those items packed away and never used
I like my gifted items to be worn. Too many things are ‘saved for best’ in the UK. This basically means that they never get worn. It’s a waste. More so when you’ve spent so much time and thought into making something. Please wear things so much that you need another and ask me to make it!
It would suit me if they could barely take them off to even wash them. Saving them forever is pyrrhic.
Use ’em up, wear ’em out…I’ll happily knit more.
interesting question… I’ve only knit socks for the people who are nearest and dearest to my heart. They (by chance?) also happen to be the people who see me making the decisions about which yarn I’ll pick for my next pair, what cast-on I should use, and then the progress that becomes a sock (and then a pair) over time. When I’ve gifted pairs of socks there is a look of almost disbelief that I’ve knit them a pair of socks – is that because I make such a big deal over the process? or is it because they haven’t had a pair before and secretly wanted a set (but were afraid to ask?)?
I think everyone should believe they are “worthy” of a set of handknit socks, but it is nice to know that they’ll appreciate them. I love to see my mom wearing the pairs I’ve made her because it’s a twist on all of the clothes she made me as a child…my favorite shirts that I played in the mud with (and then required elbow’greased scrubbing and patching to be wearable until I outgrew them) and the cordoroy overalls that were fashioned after one of my favorite stories about a bear. It feels right to complete the circle with me knitting her sweaters and socks – items that she wears.
(I have much more to ramble about the idea of sock worthiness and how I was recently challenged to knit a pair of socks for a person who has made my life hell (and how I couldn’t bring myself to do it)…thank you for getting the ball rolling with these realizations. Thank You.)
Just got your book yesterday, Borders in Nashville TN has a bunch, (but not for long!) I’m savoring it chapter by chapter and torturing my daughter by withholding it until her room is clean! Thanks for the ‘hammer’ this seems to be working.
Tina
Funny….I was in a similar philosophical mood today regarding knit items. The conclusion I came up with is that I would rather an item be used to death, then never used at all. I agree with you that things are more beautiful if they are useful…it’s like buying a $5,000 stove and never using it…just saying you have it. That’s not enough, that’s not why it was built, it was built to get dirty and it is the same thing with knit garments.
Besides, if you love whomever you give the gift to enough to give them looooong socks…they should love you enough to give them back to you for darning, should the need ever arise. 😉
i want my sox giftee, *Lee, i love ya* to wear the sox to her heart’s contentment.
Oh, heck yeah, wear them until they need to be mended. I’d like the person to come back and say “ah, shoot, I wore them out” , so I can say “Well, I just happen to have several yards of that yarn leftover, so I can fix them for you.” Thus showing how smart and capable I am.
I’m a new knitter (as in the past month-I’ve been a crocheter for several years). I get the biggest thrill when people tell me how much they love the items I have made for them. I too would rather see them used to shreds then packed away gathering dust. (p.s really enjoying your blogs!)
Wear them out! It is the giftee’s choice, though. I’m a potter, too, and my least favorite site is seeing a mug I’ve made with pencils in it. It’s for coffee! But, some people don’t drink coffee-?!
I guess everything is okay except throwing it in the washer and shrinking them the first day. That is neither excessive love nor excessive tenderness: It is just abuse.
Whenever my boyfriend comes to me with a sheepish look, bearing a handknit that has sprung a hole, I can’t help but smile and feel warm and happy inside that he loves something I’ve made for him SO MUCH that he’s wearing it out.
Then I torture him by mending the holes with rainbow hued yarn.
Use it up…wear it daily! But then I’m the kind of person who serves juice to my kids in crystal wine glasses and celebrates running out of dishes cause I can use the good stonewear.
Stephanie – I’ve just finished an exhausting yet rewarding (and hilarious) read through the archives. I cannot help but admire how you’ve turned a hobby into a career…totally inspiring!
I think a happy medium: I’d like them worn on special days. Days like interviews, exams, birthdays, anniversaries, first day on holiday, last day in old job, trip to meet new family member, to a loved one’s funeral, and sometimes just because. But I’d like them to be washed carefully. I’d like to think they had superpowers stitched in, and would count as magic socks, supporting and winging the wearer along their journey.
My answer is hanging on my sewing room wall. The beautiful hand-pieced doll quilt that my grandma made for me more than 50 years ago. It is tattered and worn, from being lovingly wrapped around my dolls and washed many, many times. I love it with all its memories woven in. Had it been put away for “best” what memories would I have?
Okay-so everyone seems happy to have their handknits worn and worn with gusto. And I do love that my two boys only want to wear what they lovingly refer to as mamasocks. But please–is it too much to ask that they add shoes to the ensemble before they run outside?
Ms. Harlot,
I just bought the latest bookbookbook last night at the Barnes & Noble in Torrance, CA. When I asked the girl at the information desk if they had gotten them in yet, she guiltily handed me the one she had been hiding for herself under the desk. Apparently I got the last one of thirty.
Long time lurker, first time poster. I’m on the side of the personality of the individual wearer. My son, if he loves something, will wear it over and over until I have to peel it off his body in a futile effort to wash it. My mother, wears stuff she loves a little less frequently but with no less affection for the gift. My boyfriend on the other hand is begging for a sweater, and as he wears a XXL I’m trying to decide just how much will he love all that yarn and my sore fingers.
I love to see the socks I make worn to tatters.
Nothing makes me smile like seeing my partner wear the socks and fingerless glove/mitten combo I’ve made into the shower so that he can wash them with the care they deserve. And then go right back to wearing them constantly, as soon as they are dry again.
Although a close second is noticing that in a room full of 12ish people, almost half of them are wearing socks that I have made.
I’ve had the same experience…made a beautiful cable sweater with hood last year and have looked for a zipper ever since….so far have looked in 5 states! A heathery lavender…beautiful but useless at the moment! When I was moaning to my yarn shop owner her comment was “don’t put in zippers….they’re so outdated” ??!! zippers, outdated? sort of like “the wrong colored yarn”! I even considered dying one but KNOW that wouldn’t work!
“beautiful things are more beautiful when they are useful.”
I love that line! It completely sums up the way I feel about life.
Hi,
Have you tried zipperstop.com? They have a lot of colors and a few even looked like they would match your sweater.
Lois
Wear them out and send them back for warranty work. We do that to Grandma’s socks all the time!
Uhm, i started to feel guilty. I have to go and start wearing the beautiful reindeer sweater my mom made for me. She knits soooo beautifully (I limit myself to minimalistic things) and soooo rarely, saying that why the hell she should bother when she can buy the items. That’s it. But.. where else the hell do i get sweaters with reindeer patterns?
Yeah, and your blog is cool.
I’m with the wear it out camp. Take care of it, of course. Wash it carefully, store it away from moths when not being worn, of course, but wear it! My daughter is my favorite to knit for. She cares for the things I give her but also wears them ’till they’re rags. Even the homespun merino/silk blend lace socks. Appropriatly, she would never wear those to go hiking (she wears the heavier, wool ones for that), but regularly none the less. It’s a joy for me to have her ask for another pair in a certain colour because the last pair wore out.
I agree that once given you have no control over what happens to your work, but you can decide who will receive more based on the fate of previous gifts.
Wear the item every day. Saving things for “good” – I’ve given up on that concept. Now is the time to enjoy those joys. I don’t want to be one of those poor souls who puts off everything till retirement and then drops dead, missing the good stuff. Wear the good stuff now. We’re worth it.
This inspired me to post pictures on my blog (thelazykate.blogspot.com) of socks I made for my mom a few years ago– happily, she wears them a lot, but is extra careful with washing and keeping toenails trim, etc., so that they are still in great shape after a couple of years of use. I wouldn’t mind if she ground holes into them, though– I think the wearing-in makes the knitting more beautiful, in a way. Like raveling around sleeve cuffs, or thinness in the elbows, these types of wear are witness to the love the wearer derived from the garment, just as much as the stitches attest to the love the knitter put into making it!
It pains me to say that I once caught my boyfriend changing the oil in the car while wearing a handkknit pullover that ate weeks out of my life–a very PLAIN pullover whose 16 inches of stockinette stitch(Did i mention he’s tall as well as boring?) nearly sent me over the edge. I was incensed that this was how casually he regarded something i put so much care and effort into. But i now see things from another point of view. What I once thought of as carelessness was in fact the most wholehearted acceptance of a knitter’s gift. he wanted my sweater warming him on a cold day as he did this messy, boring chore. He wants my sweater, made just for him, not only on special occasions, but during the mundane, usually boring, sometimes unpleasant days that fill too much of our lives– just like he wants to share those days with me, and not just the times that are neat and interesting and everybody looks attractive and smells nice. so i don’t sweat the little smudges on the sleeves and the hem. Its a dark color anyway, so it hardly shows. In a way, i’m kind of glad theyre there, because they remind me that both the sweater and the knitter have a place in his heart- especially when he’s elbow deep in muck.
My husband doesn’t care to wear sweaters and scarves. But he loves his hand knit socks. He calls them his weekend socks. He would never wear them to work and get them all dirty and sweaty. He treats them with much love and tenderness. (My plan though, is to gradually replace all his socks with weekend socks so he has no choice but to spoil his feet)
My husband doesn’t care to wear sweaters and scarves. But he loves his hand knit socks. He calls them his weekend socks. He would never wear them to work and get them all dirty and sweaty. He treats them with much love and tenderness. (My plan though, is to gradually replace all his socks with weekend socks so he has no choice but to spoil his feet)
I am not a knitter; I am a consumer of knitted things. My lovely friend Miss Shelley produced for my (considerably large) feet the most wonderful cream & gray hand-knit socks one Christmas. By the following Christmas I had worn through both soles, at which point my mother picked and stitched and re-knit them from the ankle down in a nice dark brown. Of course, by the Christmas after *that* they were sole-less again and it was Miss Shelley’s turn to re-sole . . . in a different gray.
Suffice to say my beloved socks now sport no less than seven colours, in a never ending quest to ensure the winter warmth of my feet.
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The unmatched liquidity and around-the-clock global activity make forex the ideal market for active traders.
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