Personality Reinforcements

I went to an eye specialist yesterday, at a big hospital near here.  I arrived at 9:20 for my 9:30 appointment (I’m like that) and was told that the Doctor had a "personal situation" which meant that he wouldn’t actually be in until noon, maybe a little sooner.

I sat then, and churned out the last of my November socks, and thought horrible, terrible things about him and how he probably overslept.  Probably overslept because he was up late partying. No, wait.  Probably overslept because he was up late partying and he’s hung over, which is morally reprehensible when he’s responsible for peoples vision.  Actually, I bet he’s a married man but he overslept because he was partying with his mistress, and his wife cried all night about his drinking problem. What a turd.

I sat there, finishing the November socks (modeled shots tomorrow. It’s too dark and crappy out today for proper pictures) and I thought horrible things about him.

Sock pattern is Lenore, STR lightweight, colourway also Lenore.

At 11:30 I went back, and his receptionist said she’d "fit me in" (because the whole morning of cancelled appointments were now waiting, along with all the regularly scheduled people) and she took my information and put my file in a stack.  I waited again, sock now finished, and took out the big circle scarf/cowl thing I’m devising, and I plowed away on that.

At 11:50 I saw the Dr. and while he didn’t look like a philandering drunk, I knew the truth about him.  I was polite anyway.  He talked to me for a minute and sent me off for a visual fields test in another part of the hospital. 
I left to do that, and when I came back I entered another phase of waiting. At 1:00 I was back in front of him (the philandering drunk) and he said that I he would just put drops in my eyes, and that I should go away for thirty minutes to let them start working, then he would see me again.  I returned promptly at 1:30. (Again, I’m like that.)

As I watched, the receptionist picked up my file, and entered it behind all others in the queue, and told me the wait was probably going to be about thirty minutes and why didn’t I go away and then come back, and I decided two things.

1. Her system was all wrong.  I decided that if the wait was thirty minutes, and that the doctor gave drops that would take thirty minutes to work, that she should have put my file in the queue when he put the drops in, because then my turn would have arrived as the first thirty minutes were up.  I felt sure that this was the only possible way to do this – Never mind that I was reckoning this from the perspective of a knitting humour writer who’s specialties are banana bread and sarcasm – not the perspective of someone who wrangles patients for a living.

2. The second thing I decided (filled with wrath for her organizational abilities as I was)  was that she was probably who he was whoring around with last night.

I didn’t say any of that to anybody though (I’m also like that.) I just sat there, trying to knit on the scarf/cowl thing and making colossal mistakes because the drops had rendered me legally blind. This only fueled my rage. About ten minutes later a very nice lady sat down next to me, and asked me why I was trying to knit when I was obviously legally blind.  I didn’t really have an answer for her, so I mumbled something about the wait, and how knitting (well-or not) was really the only thing stopping me from losing my mind because I had now been at the hospital for about five hours, and had only seen the doctor for about 8 minutes.  I said nothing about the philandering drunk and his organizationally challenged mistress, but I might have projected an aura of discontent with their moral standards. 

That was when she told me that the Doctor had told her his mother had died suddenly the night before.

In that moment, I realized that the knitting was even more important than I thought.  It doesn’t just take the edge off, because even knitting to take my edge off, I had invented the worst possible scenario for this guy (and his receptionist, who probably wasn’t having a fantastic day either) and that in reality the knitting actually creating a personality forcefield that keeps that nightmare that is my actual personality under wraps and makes it possible for me to interact with other humans at all because in reality – though I keep thinking I’m not like that… this proves that I am.

I left there, after seeing the doctor about 30 minutes later, being thankful that I knit.  It is probably the only reason I can go back.

186 thoughts on “Personality Reinforcements

  1. I totally understand. Whenever I think uncharitable thoughts about people, I’m always proven wrong, much to my chagrin.
    And I’ve been wondering…why a book deadline so close to Christmas? Isn’t that going to make the Christmas knitting that much more…um…challenging?

  2. wow, I had something similar happen to me. Prayers and blessings to his family, and take it easy on you too!
    J

  3. Yep some days are like that. Yes, the receptionist will get to do it all again tomorrow, not with same scenario, but this day will stay in her memory. The eye specialist won’t have cover for ’emergencies’ so they are just trying to get through the most horrible day.
    Prayers to all who are coping at this time.
    At least you had you knitting for some of the time.

  4. Thank you for recording how I think. I always think I am a terrible person for thinking like that. Thank you for proving the benefits of keeping one’s mouth shut. I have experience with that and I would like to do it more. Knitting helps. I hope the hospital experience can make into some book and not be wasted.

  5. I often go to an appointment hoping, praying even, that the docotr has been held up somewhere for some reason so I can sit in their nice waiting room and knit the day away. Unfortunately my doctors have the annoying habit of being on time.

  6. I think you’re being way too hard on yourself. (You’re like that. ;)) He could have rescheduled his appointments, explaining the circumstances, or even just explained the circumstances in the first place. I’m sure all his patients would have been less cranky and more patient if they knew the reasons for the delay.

  7. I firmly believe that the whole thing happened so that you could finish the November socks on the very last day of the month…and so that I would (once again) be denied the entertainment of watching you miss a self-imposed deadline.

  8. I would have asked the receptionist (trying very hard to keep a civil tone) whether it was going to be a problem that the drops went in 30 min ago and now when another 30 min have passed it would be 60 min and would that be OK because you know, if the drops wore off while I was waiting that would be really bad.
    And she would have tried very hard to keep a civil tone as she replied not to worry, it’s OK and she would not have told me that this sort of thing crops up all the time and what kind of idiot did I think she was.
    A civil tone. It’s why we don’t have civil wars.
    PS: socks are lovely.

  9. We’ve all been there and thought, well, something like that!
    I read recently about a woman who had been angry about being cut off in traffic until she started trying to think about why the other person might have done it. Yes, he might just be that way. He also might be rushing a child to the hospital, etc.
    My first instinct still tends to be anger in such situations. But then I do try to give the situation a second thought and consider why the other person may be acting as he is. It really does have a calming effect. While I like to think I’m being noble by showing compassion for others, I fully recognize the benefits to my mood and my blood pressure.
    (Good luck with the book deadline. If not for deadlines, I’d never get any work done!)

  10. You did get a lot of knitting done (that’s what I love about knitters!) – at least you were doubly productive – eye visit and FOs!

  11. “the perspective of a knitting humour writer who’s specialties are banana bread and sarcasm”
    A wandering mind is redeemed by the above qualities. :^)

  12. So nice to know that I’m not the only horrible person who has all of my friends and acquaintances fooled!
    The receptionist should have called and rescheduled as many patients as she could reach by phone, informing all patients that the doctor “had an emergency that morning.”
    No need to inform anyone that it was personal. The word “situation” would definitely lead me to speculate what in the world “situation” meant.

  13. I’m trying to quit smoking. If it weren’t for my knitting, everyone my loved ones (and especially my NOT so loved ones) would be very justified to fear for their lives.

  14. So much better to have kept your thoughts to yourself, except where you have shared them with us here, than to have done the ranty-glary-huffy dance that some of us are prone to when made to wait inordinate lenghths of time for ridiculously brief visits with professional care providers.
    After being caught out a few times in the last few years, not with medical professions, but in other situations that have bit me on the hindquarters, I’m learning to practice tongue holding with some limited success. The eyeball rolling and huffing may take a while longer to get under control.

  15. Sucks, doesn’t it. I hate when that happens. And to think that instead of taking the day off to mourn his mother’s passing, he came into the office and saw patients anyway. What a guy!
    My thoughts and prayers with his family!
    One more pair in the self-imposed sock club! YAY!

  16. This happens to me all the time in my classes; we do service project (write grants) for local non-profits. Whenever a client flakes out on my student and I start to say bad things about them, it turns out they had some horrible thing happen to them (son killed in Iraq; father had massive heart attack; sister diagnosed with breast cancer.)
    It’s taught me to keep my mouth shut and think (and say) charitable thoughts and have a back-up.
    It was a humiliating and humbling lesson to learn. I felt like a really nasty person, esp with the client whose child died in Iraq.

  17. Far away pictures of the Lenore socks really don’t do them justice. I love the close-ups and I love seeing how the purple weaves through the pattern so delicately.
    I’ve also tried to knit with those drops…It didn’t work out well, so I put it away and pulled out a book (which I couldn’t read because I still couldn’t see).
    Can’t wait to see the alpaca cowl!

  18. Honestly? I’m surprised at you. I’ve been reading for years and of all the people in the world who would think the worst of people, you are way, way at the bottom of the list. You must be under a lot of pressure to have such disagreeable thoughts about another person. Have some chocolate, with wine if necessary.

  19. This is why, whenever I encounter traffic, I (some would say morbidly, I guess) simply assume there’s some kind of fantastically horrifying fatal car accident causing the problem. How could I possibly put my momentary inconvenience before these peoples’ suffering – omg are there any ambulances coming up behind me?! 9 times out of 10 it’s just a standing wave or some kind of hopelessly silly incident, but it’s hard to be mad about it once you’re flying free down the highway again, and besides – it WASN’T a mangled wreck and everybody got out okay. YAY TRAFFIC!!!
    Applying this to other aspects of life is terribly difficult, though.

  20. The same thing happens to me quite a bit. I go to the doctor a lot. I ALWAYS bring my knitting along to quell the rage.

  21. Okay mine is funny. I arrived to the doctor’s office to get the wax out of my ears. I arrive just a few minutes early because lucky me I have the first appointment of the day. As I am waiting there is a discussion about a rested doctor because he went to the bahamas. As I am waiting to talk to the receptionist the phone rings. She picks up the phone and answers and I get the feeling my doctor is on the other end. I see the look in her eyes and she says something to the effect that your first appointment is here. His reply, “I stayed an extra day in the Bahamas cancel all my appointments.” She is completely flustered, I obviously know this is my doctor, and she is not sure what to do–I am standing right in front of her. She hangs up the phone and takes a deep breath, it is okay I tell her, let’s just set up another appointment. I laughed all the way to the parking lot.

  22. I like how your imagination works. You always manage to explain exactly how it is for knitters: Projecting and maintaining a cool, calm exterior with all the turmoil AND a stitch pattern going on inside.

  23. Knew you were way out of the ball park with your imaginings. My prayers for the Dr and his family.
    Good thing you had your knitting.

  24. Your Lenore’s beautiful. Thanks for sharing your (funny, human, there-but-for-the-grace-of…) story, and meanwhile, good luck with your eyes. That must be difficult with everything else going on. At least the new tech for the visual field tests makes the process easier than it used to be? I hope that whatever is going on, it has a quick and certain fix.

  25. Still, mature reflection aside . . . it’s too much. ~6 hours?! for an appointment that you probably had planned for about 2 hours. They should have cancelled and rescheduled most if not all his patients, called on a substitute dr, SOMETHING.

  26. Spectacular use of waiting room time! Just lovely.
    Having recently and unexpectedly losing my mother (death, not misplacement) I can’t even begin to imagine the doctor having shown up at all. But I can’t agree with one comment about telling all the patients why things were running late – no. I know I couldn’t have possibly discussed it over and over and over the day after. (The good news is that I no longer burst into tears at inopportune times.)

  27. I once made a really stupid driving mistake. I’m lucky I didn’t cause an accident and the honks/obscene gestures I received from my fellow drivers were deserved. I was however, driving home from the hospital after a sleepless night spent in the ICU with my then 2 year-old son who was suffering from complications from a brain tumor biopsy (he’s 6 now and doing well). It taught me that really, you never know what that other guy might be going through. I’m grateful that the other drivers were able to avoid an accident and now, most of the time, I’m able to put up with stupidity in others because, hey, they might have just found out their son has a brain tumor.

  28. I have a friend with an autistic son. She rarely takes him to the store with her because his behavior can be horrendous. But her husband was out of town, she needed things from the store (disposable diapers, actually, because her son wears them), and she had to take him to the store because he certainly couldn’t be left home alone. Predictably, he acted up in spectacular fashion, and a couple of shoppers took it upon themselves to tell her all the reasons her son was out of control and why she was a bad mother and how they wouldn’t tolerate that kind of behavior from their children, etc. The cashier was rude, other shoppers gave her dirty looks, and my friend finished her shopping, took her screaming son by the hand, and left the store in tears.
    After I heard that story, I started consciously inventing horrible reasons for things other people did that upset me: misbehaving children all have developmental issues, retail clerks who are rude are worried about a sick child, doctors who are late all had emergencies to deal with (I haven’t mentally killed off the doctor’s mother, but that might happen next time). Those mental creations–and my knitting or my Kindle–make the waiting a bit more tolerable.
    And keep my blood pressure from bursting an artery in my skull and killing me. 😉
    And if it turns out that the parent’s child was just bad-tempered, the clerk really was a jerk, and the doctor was out on an all-night orgy, I figure I’ve wished enough nastiness on them to even the score.
    I’m sorry you and your doctor (and his receptionist) had such a bad day. But don’t you hate it when the Universe decides to teach you a lesson? The Universe is never subtle and rarely is satisfied unless it’s made you feel like a worm.

  29. “though I keep thinking I’m not like that… this proves that I am.” Seems to me it proves that you’re a person who doesn’t say every single thing she’s thinking — of which the world could use a few more.
    Starting with me.

  30. You’re funny, as usual! I started laughing at my monitor when you designated the receptionist as the mistress. I know what it’s like to go semi-crazy when you’re a detainee at the hospital/doctor’s office.

  31. My dear father passed away two weeks ago. While I was sitting with him, at 2 a.m., knitting in the dark, he would ask, what are you doing? Knitting?? That mindless knitting, that scarf, will always remind me of him.

  32. Oh honey I’m so sorry!! If it were me, there would be only one thing to do: knit him something. Rebalance the karma. Even if it’s just a hat in superbulky yarn to go as fast as possible to get it out of the way of everything else in the queue. You’d feel so much better if you could offer him a little thoughtfulness. He has no idea, and would never know, but you know–and it would make all the difference to both of you in his pain. And if you don’t have time to, tell me and I’ll go knit one for him so that then you could tell him he has a whole whack of people he doesn’t even know caring about him in his loss while offering him the tactile/visual proof of that. A wrapped gift for his receptionist to hand him when he has a moment: I’ve done that.
    (Maybe someone else can do for the receptionist if you want, while I try to catch up on my Christmas knitting. I’m only so virtuous.)

  33. This happens to me, too! I have to spend lots of time in doctor’s offices and hospitals because I have metastatic breast cancer. It seems like I spend my life in waiting rooms. I took knitting up in a major way about a year ago and it is the only thing that keeps me sane in waiting rooms. I used to freak out, and I couldn’t read books. Now, I just knit “one more row” and sanity is maintained.

  34. As a former worker in a doctor’s office, I can sympathize with you and the people behind the glass. It was an awful day for everybody. Too bad everyone can’t knit!

  35. Dear Patty at 3:01-Sorry your dr was so unprofessional, he knew he had patients to see that day. And he let his receptionist to handle the mess he created. I had a similar situation with a very painful tooth, but the dental appointment had to be re-scheduled due to an injury that occurred during a ski vacation and, oh, he was snowed in by a snow storm. Tooth taken care of very soon considering how many patients my dentist and his staff fit in for a week to handle all who needed to be seen. Thank goodness for knitting.

  36. whew! saved from making a sarcastic remark that you would live to regret just by the power of yarn. a close call i would say! praise the fibres!

  37. I don’t mind waiting for appointments as much now that I knit. I used to be pretty b*tchy. Still working on calm in the car though… mindful driving. But when the red lights were stuck this morning and the guy behind me kept laying on the horn trying to get me to run the light this…. well, he may have seen a lot of a particular finger…

  38. patty @ 3:01… you are a saint! i can appreciate that the doctors deserve a break from the daily grind, but what total disrespect for his patients and that poor woman who works for him!!
    what an arrogant jerk he must be…. sigh

  39. There is no reason that you shouldn’t think whatever you like, as long as you keep it to yourself, as you did.
    Knitting does take the edge off, doesn’t it?
    Hope your tests let them do sensible things for your vision! DH started “vision therapy” today, with our Behavioral Optometrist…because it turns out that there are times when your eyes can be corrected to 20/20 no problem, but your brain and eyes aren’t working together, so in real life you are not seeing properly. It’s more like a learning disability. But, exercises and visual challenges really really help. Weirdest thing is that car sicknesses is sometimes a symptom of these problems!

  40. So, here’s the deal about people who work in the medical field. We are human beings with families and those families sometimes have tragedies and disasters which cause us to be late for your appointment. Right now, one of my colleagues has to schedule patients on a day-to-day basis as she struggles with the radiation treatments for her brain metastases. Another colleague has a chronically ill child. I was in and out of reality for most of 2009 due to the terminal illness of my child. But, we still have responsibilities to our patients. Most of the time when you are delayed at a medical appointment, it is for a pretty good reason. I thank goodness that I knit and that it gives me a happy place to go when the rest of the world is crashing around me.

  41. doctors are a funny lot. My daughters ob dr. triple books!! Can you imagine. She was either seen on time, or waited HOURS.. Not nice to do to pregnant ladies; I went to the orothpod the other day for my bum knee – waited an hour… the sad part was this elderly couple – wife clearly in a mental decline. every 5 minutes she’d ask her spouse “when is our appt?” He’s say “2:15 dear” and she’s day “that was an hour ago” – I wanted to offer up my time slot, but they were called before me anyway.. saw the dr. for all of 8 minutes, 3 x-rays later (and some smack talk from the x-ray chick about my “fishnets” – lady they were tights and they were lacey NOT fishnet)..and NO knitting – what was I thinking?? clearly I was not.

  42. What you are like is kind a person with an active imagination but also with enough grace and good manners to hold your tongue and not make a bad day any worse for those people who were dealing with it from the inside. I happen to think that’s commendable on your part. Well Done!!

  43. PS – The socks look great! I have them in my basket on the short list – only I’m going to do them in white!

  44. You DID check for knitting behind the receptionist counter before you posted this right? Because, wow, won’t that be awkward if one of your readers leaves a note about that… :~P

  45. Oh oh oh I had an appointment with an eye specialist at the hospital for 9:30am and got back home at 5pm!! When I arrived in the morning it turned out to be an eye clinic with 5 dfferent Dr’s and about 200 patients sitting in two very large waiting rooms. I won’t even go into what I was thinking!!! The worst part is I have to go back to this sheep herding fiasco again in Jan. and you can’t see to knit is right. Lord give me patience NOOOOOOWWWW. I hope you don’t have to go back. The socks are lovely .

  46. this is much like when I get so angry and put out at traffic only to discover a mile up the road, someone is being rushed to the hospital. makes me feel wrangled every time. fortunately, more often than not it’s a fender bender and everyone just has to stop and take a good long look.

  47. I’m so glad I’m not the only one. Knitting really does keep me from behaving in ways I wish I didn’t have the urge to.

  48. I’m always blown away by the wide range of emotions and opinions your posts evoke. I can see all sides as I’ve had my share of Dr’s appointments and have worked within the medical field.
    But I’m inclined to think the guy may be a heartless SOB. If my offspring don’t wallow around and grieve for an appropriate amount of time after I croak I may be royally PO’d.

  49. I’ve learned to, whenever I assume the worst of someone (which is pretty often), try to come up with a couple of other scenarios, one morally fairly neutral, and one that puts their actions into a positive or sympathetic light. For instance, if someone is late, I might initially think they’re pissing me about on purpose, then decide that they’ve hit heavy traffic, then that they stopped to help at an accident. Or if a driver runs a red light at the pedestrian crossing, they may be the spawn of satan, or they may have a newborn at home and be too tired to see straight, or they may be driving someone to hospital. By the time I’ve come up with a few scenarios that aren’t angry, I’ve usually calmed down a lot over the negative ones too.

  50. Thinking heartless thoughts and acting them out are two different things, so good work at *not* letting the thoughts show!
    My friend is doing a paper on David Foster Wallace’s address to Kenyon college, and part of his speech is about realizing that the “other guy” causing you trouble might have his own trouble too. If you haven’t read it, you should be able to get it at the library – it really goes with your post!

  51. Hugs, Steph. Kudos for not saying anything bad, before you found out the reason for the doctor having taken the morning off.
    My doctor has canceled appointments with me a few times. Twice, it was because his wife was having a baby. Two babies, two different years (same wife, I think). Once, it was because a firestorm was threatening his house. We get those in California, in lieu of blizzards. Each time, it took five weeks to get a rescheduled appointment. Your doc is doing fine.

  52. Priceless!!!! Reminds me of that saying, “I knit so I don’t kill people”, which is often true for me.

  53. You sound like me – well except for the making up your own patterns thing. I really think the best of people unless things aren’t going my way. Then, as much as I hate to admit it, I tend to think the worst of them and get in a little private snit; all the while going about like a polite little sheep. I have to remind myself that people are generally kind – even if they don’t think I’m the most important thing in their agenda. (Honestly, I can’t imagine why they don’t think that. Geez!)

  54. Yes, yes and yes. Knitting saves more lives and interpersonal relationships … Personally I have a button on my knitting bag that says “I knit so I do not kill people” but it could just as well read “I knit, it’s why I’m mostly an introverted ass. Thank your blessings.” Hmm, on second thought, the first way is more succinct.
    Good for you for letting the knitting hold back the institutional irritation.

  55. Oh man, I feel for you. Knitting really really helps. I knit a full golf club cover (worsted weight- that was my mistake, should have brought a sock), then ripped it out and knit it again while waiting for an appointment with a neurologist. It was a 4 hour wait for what turned into a 30 second (not kidding) appointment.
    At least this time they let me wait in the emergency room, the time before it was a 2 hour wait, in a gown, in a room. That was horrible.
    The neurosurgeons get pulled to surgery a lot, and it’s understandable the emergency patient gets priority- but the least the nurses could do is TELL you it will be a few hours, rather than just leave you there thinking “do I have time to go get a bag of chips- or will I get called why I’m gone.”

  56. *correction
    “At least this time they let me wait in the emergency room”
    emergency s/b “waiting” room. I was a thought ahead of myself.

  57. I love you. Thank you for your honesty – we have all been there, done that, however you my dear, can relate it so well. I feel like I was sitting beside you all the way.

  58. Thanks for letting me know that I’m not the only one who comes up with the worst case scenarios in situations like this. I’ve also learned to keep my thoughts to myself, since I find that the truth is usually nowhere near the story I’ve spun.

  59. I sympathize with the eye problems. I went to see my eye doctor abt 2 months ago and was also referred for a visual field test. However, they were so booked that I didn’t get my test until 6 weeks later (2 weeks ago). Unfortunately I didn’t get to wait with my knitting. That was too long to curl up in the office and work on my sweater so I was forced to come home and carry on with the day to day necessities and have just now gotten the sweater’s body finished. If I didn’t have to worry about feeding & caring for the family I’d have the whole thing done, and probably all those socks I’ve promised for Christmas…Oh, well. The feet will still be there whenever their socks are done; probably all the more grateful since they’ll have been cold.

  60. Everybody has times when the physical universe does unexpected and horrible things to them, and they have to keep on, but it just wrecks their day, week, and maybe even year.
    I’ve been through the deaths of three people in my family, all of them very sudden, and I know that no matter how responsible and reliable you are, an event like that is going to make you a total wreck, both as a person, and in terms of functioning in your usual competent manner.
    Doctors are by definition subject to patients who have sudden, unexpected crises, and sometimes have to be elsewhere to prevent a death or major health problem, so they always get a free pass from me unless proven otherwise.
    What kind of healthcare crisis is an eye doctor going to have? I don’t know, but I do know of an eye crisis I had.
    I visited a friend who had a cat, whom I petted. For no reason I can understand, one of my eyelashes got flipped into my eye, and I rubbed my eye with the hand with which I petted the cat.
    That’s when I learned that I’m allergic to cats!
    Not only did I still have the eyelash in my eye, I also got something from the cat in it, and the white part of my eye BLISTERED!
    I wound up lying on the floor in my friend’s bathroom while he literally sat on me to hold me down while he squirted a whole bottle of eye drops in my eye to get it all out. I could NOT stay still to let him do it!
    I needed help from the eye doctor instantly!

  61. I have problems with anger management, so I would have thought the same things. I might have gone further and groused audibly about these things (maybe not, I’m a lot better in public than I am alone). The only time I am calm is when I have made the decision initially to spend my time waiting, like I did last year when I had an abscess right around the holidays. Four or more hours at a dentist’s office was a small price to pay.

  62. I’m like that too, as much as I hate to admit it. I always take my knitting with me to the doctor to keep me occupied and not angry at the wait.

  63. Human is as human does. In a way, I’d bet that he would have laughed at your story. It might have made his day a bit lighter. Sometimes when we are under that type of stress or trauma, a story like yours helps us get through the day. Hope the old peepers are going to be okay as well.

  64. This is exactly what I find so frustrating when people see me knitting and say, “I would never have the patience to do that.” Are they kidding!!
    I try to explain that my temper and judgemental tendencies are only kept under control through the soothing manipulation of yarn and needles. Patience has absolutely nothing to do with it!

  65. thanks for the vivid reminders of why we all need to cut each other some slack . . . and of why knitting is a safely-addictive tranquilizer!

  66. Your story makes me think of my job — I work in retail, and when customers treat me rudely or disrespectfully, I try to remember that I don’t know what they’re going through, in their lives, and not take it personally. It can be a challenge, but I believe people generally mean well and don’t even realize how their bad days might be affecting others around them.

  67. Make a donation to Dr’s Without Borders in her memory and send him the card.
    He will appreciate the thought and others will appreciate your generosity.

  68. Thank you for a fabulous laugh-out-loud in the middle another rainy dreary day.
    Something like that happened to me once, but I would have been the doctor….and someone who was cross with me and didn’t know what had happened, much like you, made me laugh and remember that we’re supposed to be living and loving. ;0) I’ve never forgotten that lesson.

  69. Golly. I too have been that long-suffering, black-hearted knitter. You are not alone. The knitting redeems us and purifies our thoughts…. eventually. And keeps us from poking people until “eventually” finally comes!
    As for “Lenore”- I am so drooling over her! I had secretly memorized that WHOLE bloody poem in college (pages after pages of it) only to find myself in a bar with a group of folks I didn’t know, and one guy stands up (the cutest one there) and starts to recite the first verse, so I stood up and met his verse with the 2nd verse, and we went on from there, with rowdy cheering, matching verse for verse looooong after anyone else was interested…. it was sort of a gladiatorial poetry jousting event…. I needn’t tell you where that evening ended up… 🙂

  70. Yes, thank heavens for knitting. I’m very impatient. Knitting has taught me to wait…well, at least taught me to be a little less impatient.

  71. I thought I was the ONLY one depraved enough to make horrible scenarios in my head about those who displease me. After reading this post and the other comments, I realize I am not alone either in my knitting or in my depraved imagination–what a service you have provided me. And, great socks.

  72. I’m humbled by your story like everyone else seems to be. Right before I’d read this, I was just thinking how blind we can be to people’s hidden talents. I guess we’re blind to people’s hidden sorrows, too. Thanks for the reminder.

  73. “philandering drunk and his organizationally challenged mistress” This makes me chuckle every time I read it despite the ending to your story. Hope all is well.

  74. Omigod! Someone who understands the eye doctor experience! I have glaucoma, and see the dr twice a year. I drive an hour to go to Johns Hopkins, because it’s the best eye care in the world, and I’m lucky to live near enough to drive. I always plan for a 3 hour appointment. Visual fields, drops, the whole shebang. And I hate that I can’t knit when my eyes are dilated. It makes me practice patience.(I used to rail against the length of the waiting. Then I realized that the wait was normal, and it was me who was out of whack. Once I knew I’d need to settle in for the duration, I didn’t mind so much because I was prepared).
    I’m sorry for your doctor. It’s things like this that put everything in perspective. Hope your eyes are OK.

  75. I think we all have days like that. Thank the Gods for knitting! Not only does it entertain us when we have long wait periods, but it keeps us from growing fangs and becoming nasty people! I love the sock, can’t wait to see more pictures!

  76. I spent 1 hour waiting for a doctor yesterday – expected wait, 2 projects with me, all was fine.
    Spent 1/2 hour waiting for a finger stick and blood test today. Again knitting but wait was unplanned and the person doing the test was obviously on lunch in the waiting area. Knit faster and faster as I steamed – until I found out I was 1/2 hour early for the appointment! Knitting soothes the savage beast…
    Hope your eyes are OK.

  77. Wow! I have to say thank you though, for keeping what you thought to yourself. You could have made a bad situation worse. I would have rescheduled before the drops. lol
    I was stuck in a waiting room once for about 3 hours with people who gossiped the entire time about this guy and how he keeps making all these babies with all these women he’s not married to and never has a job and is always in jail and always going with more women. And, the waiting room, while it would be almost adequate for a small office, seemed to shrink, and their voices seemed to be in stereo.
    I can tell you it is extremely uncomfortable having to listen to that and have nowhere else to go. It would have been even worse if I didn’t know the family.
    I didn’t know the people who were gossiping about him, but what if that had been my son they were badmouthing out loud?
    What if I was a pistol packing momma and I decided to let them have it right there in that tiny waiting room?
    They already know we are living in small town america where everybody is related to everybody else and you could be talking about anybody’s family.
    This was before I became a knitter. I’d already read everything I was interested in reading and then some stuff I wasn’t interested in reading, but I could have made a heck of a lot of progress with that kind of downtime. Even if I would have had to frog some of due to being stuck in that room with them.

  78. You are brilliant as always. i love how you show us your self at your brillant best and your self perceived worst. It makes us all realize that we are human. I have to get that T-shirt that says ” I Knit so that I don’t Kill people”

  79. I so admire your honesty and candour. I am sure most of us wouldn’t want to write all the bad thoughts we were thinking!!
    But it was still a long day………..and I agree that receptionist was getting it all wrong too!

  80. Ha ha ha, I totally do that as well! And then I always feel bad because I do imagine the worst possible scenario and it always turns out to be something all bleeding-heart-like.
    I once tried knitting at the eye doctor, after they made me take my contacts out and I hadn’t thought to bring my glasses with me, and every single stitch was made perfectly through the middle of the split strand of yarn. Argh.

  81. Good luck with your eye exam. They’re important. And congrats on knitting induced good behavior. If I could knit at work, the world would be a safer place for everyone.

  82. Oh, I am so sorry for your day and your doctor’s loss. I wish I could knit and drive. I said some really bad words twice today while driving. People were acting like lunatics and then someone honked at me for no good reason. Well, maybe a little reason deserving of a small honk. Not a full on blast of the horn. The bad language just flew out of my mouth. Some knitting would have stopped that.

  83. I feel bad for you with all of that waiting time and that only part of it seemed to be productive knitting time. I always have a Barn Raising square in my purse to work on, but, I would have finished that one square way before that time was finished at the hospital. Good Luck!

  84. I have your page-a-day calendar on my desk at work (a doctor’s office!) and had to share with my husband this story and your page today was “…If you could not knit, what would you do? Nothing legal came to mind.”
    As always your blog and calendar make me laugh.

  85. Wow. I clicked on your blog because I was in a bad mood and wanted a pick me up. I laughed all the way up to the part about the mom. Then I started remembering several occasions when I would have been better off if I had had my knitting with me. I will have to start carrying it more often!

  86. I have this split personality disorder too. I call him Chucky – you know, the horror movie doll? When he takes over my thoughts I scold him and shoo him away. Then I eat sugar and continue knitting.
    It seems to work so far.

  87. Yes, it’s a good thing you have your knitting. That was some pretty nasty stuff you were thinking because you were a little inconvenienced. What a good thing you found out the real reason. You would have carried those feeling about the doctor and receptionist forward for no reason at all.

  88. It’s remarkable (to me) that the doctor was at work at all – strong sense of responsibility.

  89. “About ten minutes later a very nice lady sat down next to me, and asked me why I was trying to knit when I was obviously legally blind.” Thank you for my first belly-laugh of the day.

  90. I used to find myself doing that all the time, thinking the worst of people. For about a year now, I’ve been making a conscious effort to combat this by immediately thinking up as many situations as possible why a person’s apparently assholeish behaviour might be justified. Usually this happens when I’m driving, so I end up imaging that someone’s wife is in labour, or they’re super late for a massively important day at work because their alarm didn’t go off, and then the shower broke so they had to wash their hair over the sink and then they couldn’t find their shoes, etc etc. I’ve been way more tolerant since I started doing this, and now I find I don’t jump to the ‘philandering drunk’ conclusion right away.
    Of course, I do sometimes run up against behaviour for which I can’t imagine any possible scenario that would make it ok. Then I feel I’m justified in directing many wrathful thoughts towards them. 🙂

  91. Oooooo . . . lightening is going to come down and strike your dead. LOL Only kidding. Seriously, I feel your pain–been there done that! Be a little kind to yourself, girlie. You deserve a break once in awhile, too. xoxo

  92. It’s easy to forget that doctors can have personal tragedies that make it more difficult for them to respond to our needs. I once seethed through a lengthy wait for my cranky, sick baby’s pediatrician, only to learn later that the reason she was late was that she had just learned she had brain cancer. She had three small children of her own. I was never so glad to have held onto my patience, and never so grateful for my own problems, which paled in comparison to hers.

  93. Thank you for knitting and holding your tongue! I teach at a community college and it’s sometimes hard not to become jaded. There are a lot of students who will make things up to get out of responsibilities. However, there are also a lot of students who really are going through terribly difficult times, and every time I start to become really jaded I run into someone who’s going through one of those times.
    I just hope that students remember this when I’m going through difficult times and act accordingly.

  94. This post made me laugh. How many times have I taken my knitting only to realize that; yes, it is natures perfect tranquilizer!
    Kudos to you for not losing it. Prayers for his Mother!
    Oh… If you ever want to learn to knit blind I’d be happy to teach you. I’m a totally blind knitter and I’m currently addicted to knitting cables. Mittens, hats, scarves, I’m putting cables in everything!
    Hahaha

  95. Situations like that always make me think that when I get old and senile I am going to cause A LOT of trouble for the people around me. Once those inhibitions come down, and I don’t have enough short term memory to handle a knitting needle- look out!

  96. If you really want to shorten the wait in a doctor’s office, just go around the room and start straightening the pictures on the walls and making neat little stacks of the magazines.

  97. I thought I was the only one that wove fantastical tales while i waited for my turn and things were not turning out like I wanted them too. Even though you felt awful afterwards when you found out the truth, it kept you occupied so that you couldn’t really act out. Think of it this way at least the drops possibly started to wear off after the first 30 minutes. Those things can be a _itch. I knit (now) to stay occupied and lower my stress level, and weave tales to keep the boredom at bay. It is a trait passed on to my daughter and a few of her friends, we were at Expo in Vancouver with her best friend waiting in line, and little did I know but the 2 of them were weaving a story and other people in line were listening to them. They didn’t know, but the people kept smiling so it must have been a good one.

  98. I did that yesterday 🙁 I’m the director of the drama program for the high school, and our choreographer has been, shall we say, less than reliable in the past two years. She sometimes just doesn’t show up, or shows up late, etc, and because I’m waiting for her, I don’t get my stuff done. She didn’t show up yesterday, and I’m ranting and raving about it. I get a text later apologizing profusely — turns out she’d passed out at her other job and had to go to the ER to have a plethora of tests done.
    Bad Manda.

  99. Non-knitters just don’t get it. I got scolded by my mother for saying, in public, without lowering my voice, that I knit so that I don’t kill people. But its so totally true. Knitting for Everyone! The world will be a better place.

  100. I tried knitting today while waiting to have lenses put in my glasses. Forgot I couldn’t see without them! Remembered knitting because I knew I had to wait. Brain not engaged.
    Lovely socks, as always and just in time.
    I love this story because it’s important to remember there is always the other side… it’s never what you think. But if it is, then it’s a very comical story.

  101. Thank you! Thank you for making me feel like it’s normal to get entirely full of rage and thinking the worst possible stuff about someone… I do that so often and it always makes me feel like I am some kind of rage-aholic freak who is surviving in the wild by pure luck and indulgent friends. Most of the time, I manage to keep it under control, and thank god for that – otherwise, I’d be leaving a trail in my wake like Sherman going through Atlanta.

  102. Love, love, love Lenores. I’ve knit 5 pairs so far: 2 pairs in Thraven, 1 in Lorna’s Laces Winona, 1 in Lorna’s Laces Satsuma and 1 in a wildly pink and purple rare gem mill end. The last 3 pairs were for young girls. Can you tell that it’s my favourite sock pattern? Now I need a personal pair.

  103. As a lifelong myopic I SO empathize with the waiting for hours while one’s surroundings dissolve into a blur…knitting is possible, but following any kind of pattern–NOT. Still, having something vaguely productive to do keeps me in a certain state of Zen, or acceptance, or something (anything except blow up in frustration). Now, if I could only knit simultaneous with dealing with sick infants, their distraught parents, doctors (sometimes) being buttheads, and the like, I would have kept myself out of a lot of trouble related to an inability to stay quiet!
    Knitting something for the doctor sounds like a kind and thoughtful thing to do, maybe a way for you to forgive yourself (but you’re only human! and quite a busy one at that!). Your call. Thank you for sharing the experience–I always mean to give the other person the benefit of the doubt, but too often don’t.

  104. Talent! That’s what you’ve got–to give us such a great amount of humor! I did LOL all the way. Had ck-up w/PCP 2 days ago, and extremely busy eye doctor the next day. I went to each an hour early due to weather and nerves. I was taken in immediately, short waits. Don’t hate me. You made me laugh. Some “comments” made me tearful. Bless you all and medical staffs. Fantastic results in post-cataract laser treatment. Also glaucoma drops. I’m now 20-20. Good doctors are the busiest and worth our extra time. “Stay calm” and carry on, but most of all have faith. And tea!

  105. Bless the knitting for getting one through the waits.
    In my other life I’m a physician who does her darnedest to run on time. I’ve had patients say they were disappointed that they didn’t get a chance to read the novels they’ve brought! I’ve also had my staff get an earful during the times I’ve had to deal with a birth or serious emergency. Clearly not knitters.

  106. I love this post. I love knowing that there are other people out there that are like me when it comes to the knitting. I hope your eyes are ok – I had some eye problems a few years ago, and it’s awful. Sending good thoughts your way!

  107. If we were all held responsible for our most horrible thoughts, we’d all be in really really really deep rings of hell where there is no yarn, no sunshine, no beautiful socks, no puppies, no chocolate, no tea, no coffee — and no friends who have the fortitude to refrain from voicing their horrible thoughts. And I hope les yeux are doing OK.

  108. My mother used to call the doctor’s office before she left for an appointment to find out how far behind they were. That may not work in today’s strange clinical environment, but her reasoning was excellent. She said she didn’t mind waiting at all, though she’d rather do it at home. Someone probably needed the doctor more than she did that day. And when the day came that she needed that doctor immediately, it would be her turn not to wait.

  109. Just think how much more harmonious our universe would be if more people didn’t think the rest of us were entitled to their opinions? Good for you in holding your tongue and knitting on. Me? I probably would have just left the office without even waiting. Maybe this wasn’t an option for you–I hope your eyes are okay.

  110. Oh no. That poor man. I would have probably been thinking evil thoughts, too, about all the waiting. I agree that it probably was a rough day for everyone involved.
    I hate getting those drops, too. Then it’s hard to read stuff, to occupy your time, while waiting. I admire you for attempting knitting.
    I wondered if something bad had happened to the doctor. It was probably hard for him to work that day, too.

  111. It happens and I love how honestly you recorded something we’ve all thought had happen.
    Last spring I was in a long line at the deli counter and it was finally my turn. I started to give my order when a woman ran up, cut in front of me and started ordering. I was shocked and so angry. I was having a horrible day, my son was very ill and going in for major surgery that week and would then face a long difficult recovery. I wasnt so polite as you. I told her off. She apologized and told me her husband was in the car and throwing up because of a bad chemo reaction. But she needed food to bring home for the kids. I apologized and told her about my son. We both cried and in that moment I realized I should have just let it go and not thought the worst. I’m still embarrassed.
    Thanks again for sharing this.

  112. I hate it when you feel rotten for thinking the worst of someone 🙁
    On an unrelated note: ACK! Don’t you have a page-a-day calendar for 2011??? I can’t find one online anywhere – how will I go on??? I love reading little knitting tidbits first thing every morning. In the search, I did come across the Amazon page for pre-ordering your book for next spring, so I did do that.

  113. Thanks once again for your wonderful skill in relating the nitty-gritty of life in humorous fashion. Hope your eyes are OK.
    I spent many, many hours in waiting rooms and examining rooms during the last few years of my father’s life. Back then, cross-stitch was my drug of choice for enduring the excruciatingly long waits. Dad, however, had no such panacea, and would become very impatient, even angry. Couldn’t blame him… he was the one in pain, with cancer.
    His primary specialist was a very good, but very, very busy man, whose own personal life was in shreds due to the demands of his profession and his devotion to it. On our 1,743rd visit to his office, we’d already been there a very long time before he first examined Dad. Then he ordered (yet another) test. We waited, and waited, and waited. Doc finally popped in and said it would be just a few more minutes. I couldn’t resist. Said, “Would those be regular minutes or ‘doctor’ minutes?” Doc grinned sheepishly and replied, “Doctor minutes. Sorry.” But he was a great doc, who obviously cared deeply for his patients. He even gave us his personal cell phone number in case we needed to get in touch during the holidays.
    That was six years ago. I think I’ll knit something for him!

  114. Oh, that just made me laugh til my sides hurt. Well all but the part about his mother passing away. That wasn’t funny.

  115. I work in a place which lends itself to this type of thinking all the time — everyone is either on one side of the finger-pointing situation or the other at some time during the day. Thanks for reminding us that we really all need to ‘go with the flow’ a lot more than we think we do. We’d save our hearts, our relationships and our sanity. This does not apply, however, to that eleventh time you had to rip out that third row of corrugated ribbing. (I’ve actually never tried corrugated rib, but I can just imagine.)

  116. Well, blessings on the doctor and his family. Blessings on your eyes too BTW. Also, I was once mangling communicat with my husband, we were in the car together…turned on the radio to hear something/anything. Tuned right into a talk show where the advise-giver was addressing a question of trying to get one’s way. She chuckled and said “I never turn down an opportunity to keep my mouth shut”. Having the inner-dialogue that I can sometimes exhibit, I remember that one and just keep stuff inside my head. Bravo you.

  117. I second the suggestion that you knit something for the Doctor. Maybe a scarf, in honor of his mother, so he can be warmed and embraced by her each day. As for the rest of us who have ever invented wildly unlikely scenarios to soothe our inappropriate anger and frustration, I herein mount a challenge – Make a new donation to TSF/DWB.

  118. See now, you’re not all so bad as you think. Lots of us have those nasty thoughts, and many can’t be bothered to keep them to themselves. You, not only controlled your baser instincts (we’ve all got them), but you also have the decency to worry about them, and admit to them.
    It’s not so bad. Still… I’d keep the yarn close if I were you.
    On a different topic… what’s with the links to the pop-ups?? Doesn’t quite seem your style.

  119. I hate it when I do that. I don’t do it often thank God, but I’m always mad at myself when I do. Over the years I’ve tried to learn from that experience and not do it again, but inevitably, I do. At least you kept it to yourself and didn’t pass it on. I’ve always thought that we all have nasty thoughts and impulses. Sometimes you just can’t help what pops into your brain, and yes, when we do have those nasty thoughts we should try really hard to stop them. However, it’s what we do with those nasty thoughts that are more important. We can’t always help what pops into our head, but we can totally control what we do and our actions on those thoughts. So at least you didn’t spread them about. Just try to let yourself off the hook, and not have it happen again, and if you succeed in the last part please let the rest of us know how you managed it!
    Those dilating drops really suck don’t they. I have light colored eyes so those stupid dilation drops last for at least 6 or 7 hours on me. It’s a total waste of time and unless I’m knitting something that’s garter stitch or stockinette, I’m totally sunk because I can’t see to knit or read a chart. I have to say though that I really love my eye doctors. I see them way more often than I would like to, but even when I have an emergency, they always get me in. So, because I spend so much time at the eye doctor’s waiting in the office, with my eyes dilated, I have developed the following strategy. Take both knitting and a drop spindle with something really nice to spin to your eye appointments. That way if you can’t see to read the chart or knit properly, you can spin away very happily and still feel like all that waiting time isn’t a total waste! I do it all that time and it’s so much easier than giving yourself a massive headache trying to read a stupid chart when you’re legally blind!

  120. I confess I have also had times to think bad things about the person who is making me wait. Knitting allows me to be in public without showing how truly impatient I am.
    Thank goodness Knitting makes me a better person!

  121. I usually make allowances for doctors, since often they’ve been kind to me. And especially after the doctor who did my mother’s open heart surgery (he worked on Reagan after he was shot) delayed her surgery because he had been working on a gunshot victim.
    However, medical offices often do things because “that is how we’ve always done it”. Putting you then at the back of the queue after you’ve waited the required 30 minutes is a bad idea. It might work on a normal day, but not the one you describe. Ever had dental anesthetic wear off because you’ve been kept waiting?

  122. I just had almost the same thing happen to me thinking (no, whining) about my sister not giving a hoot about me when I open an email from her asking how we were after some bad weather in out area. I guess it’s human nature.
    How are your eyes?

  123. I sat and knitted( also my coping mechanism) next to my son who had a stroke after major spinal surgery for a tumor, my husband, the doctor went to see patients because they had waited so long for appointments. He was very overwhelmed with the uncertainty of our sons outcome(totally recovered) and could barely speak to the pt.s, so he had his PA with him to do most of the talking..I know he did not share his personal issues with them, and am sure there were pts. who judged him for what they considered a lack of interaction from him. It’s easy to judge but really better not to pass judgement. Everyone can learn something from your story.

  124. When I have to get my pupils dilated, I feel like a vampire out in the daylight. Sunglasses are totally inadequate and focus? Forget it!
    I totally get the knitting means not killing someone. I’ve been fighting a wicked case of tendinitis and currently have my left wrist in a cast. I haven’t really knit anything to speak of since Labor Day (3 months ago.) I’m definitely understanding the whole serial killer mentality. Chasing down people on the access road is not necessarily a healthy choice…
    Hope your eyes are okay!

  125. First of all — be kind to yourself. All of that steadily building rage could have been eliminated if the receptionist had shared the circumstances in the beginning. Every waiting patient would have been more, well, patient.

  126. Kathy in Georgia is bringing tears to my eyes. I too have a son who is way too old to wear diapers in diapers, and he too has no concept of socially appropriate behavior. I too try really hard not to sweat the small stuff. Knitting helps.
    I have gotten calls first thing in the morning of the day I have an appointment telling me the doctor won’t be in and I’ll need to reschedule. I generally assume the universe sat on the doctor, it happens to the best of us, even doctors.
    What goes on in the privacy of our own heads is our own business, and more power to whoever uses whatever works to keep it that way — knitting, good book, cell phone chats with one’s secret lover, knocking over the bank down the street, anything to pass the time.

  127. Oh, big hugs to him and his family – and all hail to the man for coming in to work, to be fair.
    As for your thoughts – Steph, I’ve worked in hospitals, and knew doctors who did whore around and drink like fish then came in to work the following day unfit for human contact never mind the kind of human contact that has direct impact on someone’s chances of survival, so don’t feel too bad.
    Love the socks, by the way, and look forward to seeing the finished cowl xx

  128. I knit as my husband drives and pretend to concentrate on the knitting when my brain is screaming remarks unlikely to strengthen my marriage. 🙂

  129. My automatic reaction to seeing someone who’s struggling with their day or running really late or being withdrawn is that someone they loved died. I’m weird like that (in my defense, I’ve lost a lot of loved ones so it’s a common occurrence for me and I project that onto other’s lives). It works well since if I find it’s *not* a loved one’s death, I’m put at ease that someone else hasn’t had that happen to them and pleased for them on that account.
    I won’t tell you about my penchant for judging people based on unfair criteria of how they deal with shit when it hits the fan.

  130. Oh honey, I’ve so been there. And thought worse things! Luckily, I had knitting with me. I hope your eyes are OK.

  131. Knitting is wonderful, isn’t it? And your writing is quite wonderful as well. Thank you for making this post.

  132. Many years ago I worked for a doctor who had a mental breakdown. For several weeks, we had residents (doctors in training) and other doctors seeing his regularly scheduled patients in between their regularly scheduled patients. I was the secretary who kept checking in with the patients enduring the excessively long waits (fortunately, he only held clinic one day a week). When people would ask where the regular doctor was, I’d say, “He’s out on a medical leave; he has a history of back pain.” Those statements were both true, and I got to hear a lot of sympathetic murmurs from folks who’d suffered back pain, but my boss’ privacy was maintained. After a couple of months of this, it was decided that he was not going to see any more patients for a good long while, and more regular arrangements got made. It was a really tough experience, though, to be the secretary trying to keep things running normally in a very odd set of circumstances. I really feel for the receptionist in this story.

  133. My mind works this way too – though to be fair the receptionist would have had my (internal) ire from the beginning “personal situation” and “squeeze me in” my butt. Priortize and organize lady!
    This siutation (eye drops) is exactly why I always have a plain knit project on the needles. Doesn’t matter if I can see or not, convenient! To be fair, I make about as many mistakes when I can see as I would when I can’t, but that’s beside the point.
    Can’t wait for the new book!

  134. Thank goodness you’re a human being! With all the knitting, child-rearing and writing, I was starting to wonder…

  135. That last post was meant as a compliment, i.e. we all think of you as superhuman, so nice to see you’re a human being like the rest of us. Not sure it completely came across that way though!

  136. Eye exam must have – audio book. In addition to knitting, it will save your sanity. and your knitting. ; )

  137. I rarely judge and if I do I am proved wrong…and that is when I am usually fuming and off on a tangent and someone ends up being at deaths door or dead or something horrible and I am seen as the villain…that was soooo funny. To make humour out of a rotten situation takes guts!!

  138. This man needs a pair of socks! They won’t take away his pain, but happy feet is a great comfort during stressful times. (And it would make you feel a little less guilty.) His receptionist might also benefit from a bit of comfort (Pretty Little Thing?).
    This reminds me to find the garter stitch project that I can knit w/o looking at. I now have 2 doc with medical problems. One is out till next summer and may not return then, so I’m worked in to see a colleague. Another finally retired when his problems returned. I take knitting to all appointments. In fact, I look forward to the knitting time now where no one interrupts me.

  139. At my advanced (!) age of 55 I am still working on what you’ve perfected: keeping my uncharitable thoughts to myself. Therefore, you receive triple gold stars for doing so repeatedly during a long wait.
    AlisonH: what a nice idea and what a nice offer to knit for him on Stephanie’s behalf. I am currently knitting a LOT of coffee cup cozies as token gifts and I’d be glad to join in AlisonH’s effort by providing one for the receptionist, as she suggested! Just let me know where to send it. 🙂

  140. Well, I am glad for knitting for much the same reason. (However, we might consider that he could indeed be a philandering drunk with a wife who received the call of his mother’s sudden demise and was weeping because she could not locate him! The nurse/mistress would still be rattled over it all because the wife found him at her home when she called to see if the nurse knew where he might be.) At least, if your musings were indeed correct, he will be the one embarassed by the exposure of the secret…not you.

  141. I’ve had similar realizations about myself … I may seem like I’m a nice person, but that’s only because the nasty uncharitable selfish person inside me is easily (and endlessly) entertained by pretty repetitive tasks like knitting. Thank goodness.

  142. After reading your blog, I took a deep breath and called the high school guidance counselor about my son’s recent report card.
    The conversation was 100 percent better than if I hadn’t first tried to de-stress by looking at your blog! I would have had a much more unpleasant experience (as would the counselor!) if you hadn’t been willing to share the same sort of stuff that goes thru my head in these moments.
    Thanks so much!

  143. Normally I love you writing but contrary to what the others wrote, this isn’t a good post. You come off as self-centered and mean spirited which is a marked contrast to so much of what you’ve shared over the years. If you decide to include this in a book, rewrite the second to last paragraph and add some sympathy for the doctor.

  144. The mark of a true writer is someone who can take nothing and from it create whole cloth. I mean, for crying-out-loud, you make a career out of WRITING about KNITTING. It is not a moral failing when your imagination leaps to conclusions without evidence. That’s what imaginations do.
    To be a good person all of the time,(a goal to aspire to, whether or not it’s possible) one should give others the benifit of the doubt, but the truth is it doesn’t make very good fiction.

  145. This is why my favorite button, which I don’t wear to work often enough, says “I knit so I do not kill people.” I wonder if we taught all sociopaths to knit (not implying that you are one, but we all have those days), it would help with their control? 😉
    I hate those eye drops, too. I’ve gotten into the habit of asking for the mildest solution they have, otherwise I end up with a migraine. Last time, the receptionist told me I could skip the drops entirely, so I did. I highly recommend it.
    Take care of yourself, and try to relax. 🙂

  146. Oh, god, I’m gasping….sucking air….this is hilarious….that is SO TOTALLY how judgmental I can be, too. Why do we always go zooming in to the worst possible scenario when we’re judging others? It’s so embarrassing when we find out how totally off base we’ve been. The only saving grace is when we don’t voice those thoughts aloud. Then we can at least preserve the illusion of graceful, understanding angels even though the worst condemnations are coursing through our impatient thoughts.
    I feel so ashamed of myself in similar situations. And yet…I find myself in them yet again, time after time. When will we learn?
    YOUR HONESTY IS SO INCREDIBLY TOTALLY REFRESHING. Please don’t ever stop!
    Kathy :o)

  147. I understand doctors can have problems too, from a flat tire to, in this case, a family emergency. Why were you not offered options, such as a rescheduled appointment in the near future? Do doctors cover for each other in emergencies?
    My husband faced a delay for a biopsy because our single OR hospital had two emergencies, one involving a child. Someone (I don’t remember if it was a nurse) scored major points by acknowledging that this situation could not be pleasant and apologizing for the unexpected wait.

  148. Happens to the best of us…knitting helps me behave as well. Knit on and prayers to your doctor and his family.

  149. Having second thoughts about that “go with the flow” comment. Five hours is an AWFULLY long time. I agree with those who said the office could have handled it better. Plus in today’s world all our patience(s?) is(are) being tried constantly all day long. Sooner or later a little mental badmouthing is inevitable. I truly admire your constraint. I would have told off someone — knitting or no knitting!

  150. It’s so comforting to know that I’m not the only one who has to think horrible thoughts about others to keep my own sanity! LOL. Whenever there’s a ridiculously hot chick working out at the gym, I always assume she has toe nail fungus or gonorrhea. 😉
    Sad to hear that he had an actual emergency, but who knows–the whoring and drinking might still be true . . .

  151. I hate that high horse…seems we all own a stable for it. My condolence to everyone in this act, real and made up.

  152. That poor doctor. To think that he still showed up at work the next day, too…incredible.
    From the comments:
    “Sad to hear that he had an actual emergency, but who knows–the whoring and drinking might still be true . . .”
    That’s kind of a horrible thing to say. No, wait. It is a horrible thing to say.

  153. Condolances to the brave doctor.
    Knitting is indeed an underestimated force in the quest for world peace. Heaven knows I would be a much more potent hazard to world peace if I didn’t knit. Especially work in the public transport sector (notoriously delay prone as it is) is much safer, at least in areas within my physical reach, because I usually knit on said transport and through the inevitable delays. Waiting for things that should have happened a while ago (according to the schedule) is just so much more palatable when it translates into unscheduled sock progress. Makes me wonder whether that was the reason behind teaching kids to knit in primary. Maybe they should reinstate that….

  154. First, what a trooper that ophthalmologist is! In this profession they (the eye drs) are over-worked and it’s hard to find a replacement on a very short notice. Kudos Dr. Ophthalmologist for hanging in there for your patients.
    Welcome to my world. Even without family issues happening the wait time for an ophthalmologist whom works in a hospital especially can be 3 hours or more. Darling Daughter and I do this every six months at the min. for each of us, since we go to different ophthalmologists. If I didn’t knit I might have killed someone already! I hope you continue to have healthy eyes for a very, very long time 🙂

  155. Hysterical! I thought I was the only one who thought things like that! Knitting has also kept me from alienating the parents at my daughters school, keeping my hands busy so my mouth stays shut!

  156. You, dear Harlot, are brilliant and more honest than I can or will ever be. This post proves that despite the fact that I knit almost every single day, I obviously am not knitting quite enough because every once in a while – I actually say absurd/insensitive/mean/ridiculous things when I should be knitting instead of speaking.

  157. @Kathy in Georgia:
    This made me think of a similar story.
    My mom is a bus driver, and a few weeks back one of her elementary students was screaming and refusing to sit (after numerous warnings) and she finally wrote him up for the principal to deal with.
    The next day, the child’s father climbed on her bus (which is illegal in our state) and told my mom that if she couldn’t overlook the screaming and focus on driving her bus, then she needed to find another job.
    Fast-forward to this week, and the father stopped her again. This time, to APOLOGIZE for his behavior. Mom told him that she strives to have a good relationship with all of the childrens’ parents, and he shook her hand.
    Occasionally people do figure it out. It’s nice when we can see it for ourselves.

  158. its always better to think all the ornery agressive things about others than to say them, especially if they arent accurate….and it keeps you from choking the living crap out of people who despirately deserve it.

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