Why, What are you wearing?

I am sitting at my desk wearing spandex.  I woke up about three minutes before my 5:30am alarm because I got a text.  Only Jen texts me at 5:30 in the morning, and only on riding days.  This is best for everyone because saying I am not a morning person is and understatement as significant as "Sometimes teenagers aren’t thinking ahead." The only reason I’m riding at that ungodly hour is because Jen and I  both have jobs, and while I have the option of moving my ride to another time of day, Jen likes to be home for bedtime,  and we’re on the buddy system, so… mornings it is. Every time I realize what it is that I’m doing, that it’s me – someone who is not even a little bit sporty (except for knitting – I totally do that like it’s a sport) and doesn’t like to get sweaty, and is so uncoordinated that she can’t count the number of times that a ball has hit her in the face (and one terrible time, a Frisbee) that I am going outside to ride a really long distance,  clipped into a road bike, several times a week –  wearing spandex in my mid forties, I can hardly recognise myself.  When I add in that the whole thing has required me to get up at 5:30am? It’s like I don’t even know who this woman is. It is only because coffee and I have a special and deep relationship that it’s possible at all. So, all that is to say that I know the text is probably from Jen, and so I reached out and grabbed my phone.  All it said was "Too rainy, Sister.  I’m ejecting."

A wave of relief passed over me. I loathe riding in the rain, but I’ve also made a really serious commitment to training, so Jen pulling the rip cord on the ride before I have to is really satisfying.  I can pretend to myself that it was her.  My alarm went off displaying the message "Go ride your bike!" and I shut it off with a satisfied smirk, and padded to the bathroom. On my way back I could see out the window of the stash room, and  on an impulse, I went over and drew the curtain aside to look out.  It was not raining. It was not raining at all, and the road wasn’t even wet. I cursed, and took a deep breath.  I’ve sworn that I’m not going to avoid riding, that even if I am tired and sore I am going to do these training rides, and it’s a promise I made myself. Five days a week I will ride at least 40 kilometres, unless it rains, and it wasn’t raining, and so I went into the bedroom and put on my spandex, sports bra and jersey. (See the way I made it sound like I just put on a sports bra like it was easy and like I didn’t have to make an effort to remain calm during the part where you think you’re trapped with your arms stuck uselessly to your head and torso and you’re going to have to have someone cut you out of it. Don’t be fooled.)

I came downstairs, made coffee, and ate a bagel standing over the sink – looking  outside.  I was at it for about five minutes before I realized that I was actively hoping it would start to rain.  It didn’t.  I decided I would go ride after my coffee – if it wasn’t raining. I drank my coffee and had a little knit, and then I decided that I would go ride after two coffees. You know, if it hadn’t started to rain.  Right when I was about to run out of coffee (and excuses) the rain started.  I just about wept, I was so happy disappointed.

It’s not that I don’t like the riding. I think I might, but it’s so hard to tell.  I’ve been waiting for it to get easy, and I think it’s not going to, and I think that’s okay too – I mean, being fit and healthy isn’t easy and does take a commitment, and raising money for a cause and trying to be worthy of that isn’t supposed to be easy either.  It’s not like I would really expect anybody to sponsor me if I wasn’t willing to do something extraordinary to do deserve it.  I just don’t know how much longer I can deserve it at 5:30 in the morning or five days a week.  This weekend there are two training rides, and they are both over 100 kilometres and you know what? I can take it. I really can. It is physically easier than what the people I’m raising money for have to go through, and I can take the heat. Hell, I probably need the heat. The heat is good for me. It’s more that I’m trying to finish this book and did I mention that with travel and stretching and lunch and signing in and all that, a 100 kilometre ride takes about eight hours out of a Saturday and a Sunday?  These weekday ones only take 2.5 hours, but still, all this riding adds up to a lot of time, and I’m getting a little tired.  I remember this from last year. I’m just at that point where training has stopped being about 12 hours a week and now takes about 22 hours a week, and when you’ve already got a family and a full time job, that’s a big deal. This part only lasts a little longer.  I know that.  The rally departs Toronto on the 28th of July – and you’re really supposed to scale back the riding the week before, so this intensity is only for a little bit longer and I can do it, and I will do it, and I am happy to do it because I know it is worth it. For me, for Jen, and for PWA.

I’m just really glad it was raining this morning, that’s all. 

I’m sitting here in my spandex, because if it’s not raining when I’m done work then I’m going to keep my promise to myself and go out there and get it done, and nothing says commitment like padded shorts and a sports bra (and I am not trying to get that thing on and off anymore times than I have to. I feel the risk.) Two people today have already asked me why I’m dressed like this, and explaining it strengthens my resolve.  I am going for a training ride.

As long as it doesn’t rain. 

Karmic Balancing gifts tomorrow everybody. If you’ve already donated, thank you from the bottom of my heart, and please check your email for a thank you note explaining what to do to qualify, and if you can’t find it, just send me an email (StephanieATyarnharlotDOTca) and I’ll add you. No worries. If you’d like to qualify, then donate to any one of the people I love riding this ride, for any amount at all – even a dollar, and watch for the note. We will all make sure to send it to you before tomorrow morning.  We are:

Me
Jen
Ken
Pato

(PS:  I want to give a special shout out to Ken here. He’s a super fast and competent rider, and he’s chosen to slow down and support either Jen or me when we can’t be each other’s buddy.  It means the training rides take him a lot longer than they have to,  but Jen and I haven’t had to face doing a really long weekend ride alone, and I’m really grateful.)

(PPS. It just started to rain again.)

(PPPS. Happy 4th of July to my American friends. I hope it’s lovely.)

1,866 thoughts on “Why, What are you wearing?

  1. Oh, thank goodness I’m not the only one who dreads the sports bra thing. I always have that panicky feeling I’ll be trapped in it with my elbows at my ears.

  2. You go, Girl! Have a good ride, if it stops raining. You’ve more courage than I do. 🙂
    Kalita

  3. Stephanie, you are a rock. When the rain stops, go ride. Imagine us all with you, because we are. Go girl!

  4. I’ve never worn a sports bra, mainly because I don’t do sports. You don’t really need one for walking the dog. Maybe if the dog and I jogged, but we don’t. I don’t even think I could keep my balance on a bike anymore. I admire your resolve and determination, especially in the humid and jungle-like climate we live in. I hope it rained enough that you got a little break from training. You deserve it.

  5. how can I donate? I have never won over the bike perhaps due to eardrum damage due to mastoids and polio when younger. I admire your grit girl.

  6. I totally feel your panic about the sports bra. I’m always afraid I’ll have my arms stuck with my elbows flush against my ears and my forearms bent behind my head. I try to never be seen by my husband while putting one on, because he would probably bust a gut laughing at me.

  7. I love my bike, but I go shorter distances with more ice cream than I’ve seen you describe. Also a lot of beer and frites at the end of the day.

  8. I must admit I laughed A LOT at the sports bra. Then I thought, “yeah, right. YOU ain’t the one doing it.” Then I felt a little guilty. Sorry Steph. T’ai Chi is my limit now, no sports bra for me 🙂

  9. I thought it was only me who got like that with sports bras. I was really pleased to discover Enell ones, which do up with hooks and eyes at the front. It’s so comfortable, and so easy to get on and off!
    http://enell.com/

  10. Now there’s a way to raise the rest of your money really fast…just put up a pay-to-view video of yourself getting into and out of the sports bra.
    Viewed only from the back, of course — you’re not *that* kind of harlot!

  11. It rained here this morning too and I cried for joy. It’s been so hot and dry here….

  12. The way I feel about nursing bras is the same you feel about sport bras! :p

  13. How long does 100km take you. My guess is that if you’re reasonably fast you could go 25km/hr on average so that means you’re riding for about 4 hours. Does that sound about right? Wow! No wonder you get up at 5:30.

  14. I admire the hell out of your long rides. I’m gearing up to be the World’s Slowest (and fattest) triathlete at the end of the summer, and I’m in a hate/hate relationship with my bike. You /go/ girl. I’m not in spandex yet, but I will be after supper. (My poor poor neighbourhood for my having found plus size spandex. Buahahaha!)

  15. Oh..My..God!! How does anyone do a 100 km bike ride and not call it THE RIDE? As in, I did my ride, I did my part and now I’m done… argh! I cannot fathom getting on a bike and not getting off again for 100 KMS!! More power to you and the team! I’ll support you with all my heart right here from the armchair.. 🙂

  16. I have yet to find a sports bra I can wear- and I do not fear getting my arms trapped above my head. No, I do not wear a sports bra because I have not found one that prevents black eyes- the main reason I walk for exercise instead of running or biking! Kudos to you for wearing one AND even thinking about riding a bicycle for 100k!

  17. That was the most incredibly apt description of trying to put on a sports bra that I’ve ever read or heard. I always have that moment of struggle where its me vs. the sports bra, and the sports bra is clearly winning. It’s good to know I’m not alone. Keep fighting the good fight, sister.

  18. I used to do weight training, when I was young and single and thought sexy meant 7% body fat and REALLY defined muscles. I have to say though, my family had beautiful physiques. Now I’m old and fat and sloppy. But that’s besides the point.
    What I want to say is in weight training you alternate body parts every other day and take a day of rest once a week, except on the ‘day of rest’ I would do some other complementary exercise. This is probably a dumb question but can you do that with bike training – change it up with different endurance and stamina or complementary exercise? You’re a veteran at this, so I’m sure you know what you’re doing, but try not to exhaust yourself, okay?

  19. Ride safely Stephanie! And put on the sports bra csrefully. Don’t want to damage the knitting arms…

  20. I’ve always used the sports bras with a clasp in the back (Warner makes them I think) and never had any problems with them.

  21. Oh my, the end of that second paragraph had me quaking with laughter! I HATE sports bras, so I just have a lot of the ONE STYLE of bra I really like, and use them for EVERYTHING – jogging, riding my horse, everyday wear. Good thing, too, because now I have a bum shoulder that would kill me if I had to wrestle on one of those horrid contraptions!

  22. I find it harder to get the sports bra off than on; it feels like I’m centimetres away from dislocating a shoulder. I took up running this year at age 54 and am enjoying it, but as with you, do not enjoy sweating. Waiting for my a– to firm up, but not holding my breath. Rock on, harlot!

  23. Forget elevators – I have my worst claustrophobia moments trying to wrestle sports bras over my head. There’s hyperventilation and spots in my vision and everything.
    I don’t know if it’s worse when you’re busty, but I suspect it might be – the extra “support” (i.e. super duper elastics) makes them extra non-stretchy. Like straightjackets.
    And DO NOT get me started on bathing suits. Especially wet ones. I’ve had many a panic attack trying to extricate myself from one of those.

  24. Violet @ 4:32: I love you. I think that was the funniest article I have ever read. I may have cried while reading it.

  25. Sports bra, HAHAHAHAHA, so totally true! You are an amazing human being, and I am in awe of your dedication and your brilliant sense of the humor of it all.
    And thank you for the birthday wish for the USA – it’s about 108 degrees here in Sacramento right now, so it’ll be a hot time in the ol’ town tonight. Glad you got your rain, wish we could have some, too!

  26. Just made a donation. Your dedication is such an inspiration. Spandex & all! Keep up the great work.

  27. I understand the tight sports bra thing. I in fact did have mine cut off me In Emerg in 2000 when I had a crash doing a 200km charity ride for the Canadian Lung Association. I broke my collar bone, and had a bruise on my thigh the size of a dinner plate. I was off work for nine weeks. That happened 1.7 km into the ride. My sponsors still fulfilled their pledges. Like they would totally look like jerks if they didn’t. All that to say, I feel your pain and wishing for rain. But I know you will do just fine.

  28. I almost hate to suggest this, but putting your sports bra on by stepping into it rather than putting it on over your head makes it so much easier. : )

  29. Check out the Running Room’s sports bras, they have some amazing ones. For big and smaller girls. User friendly:) No word of a lie.

  30. You go, girl. I’m training for a 300 km charity bike ride in October and can really relate to everything you have said, especially riding in the rain, the slowness and angst at how I look in spandex.

  31. I thought the whole self strangulation by sports bra thing might be just me. Turns out maybe that trauma affects more of us than I knew. Whew. Thank goodness I am not alone in this whole thing. I also try not to have to get in and out of it any more than possible. I thought I was the only one struggling. I have never been so happy to be wrong.

  32. Perhaps it’s because I was an athlete for so many years, but I don’t find putting sports bras on to be that difficult.
    Taking them off, however, is a totally different story…especially if you’re sweating so badly that you look like you just jumped in a lake. That is the worst.
    Also, it’s not raining here. It almost never rains here, it seems…

  33. That sports bras? Oh yeah, those commercials showing how comfortable and how easy they are to wear LIE. If there was truth in advertising, it would scare EVERY one watching if it was shown someone actually PUTTING ONE ON. And that is putting it one, taking one OFF when you have actually used it -and hopefully worked enough to where it is wet, it is torture (but feels SO good) taking it OFF. lol Take care, and ride on.

  34. The sports bra thing, hilarious!! Wish I needed one, just too flat. 🙁 You can do this, I’m adding my “go,girl!” to the others.

  35. After a breast biopsy several years ago, I had to wear a sports bra, even to bed, for a few days.
    Contrary to most of the experience here, I never looked back and that is all I wear now. Those of us with, ahem, little girls, don’t have as much trouble with them.

  36. May you learn to ignore the weather forecasts, and pay more attention to the weather radar. That’s often a better predictor of rain or snow arriving soon. And remember that a diet of beans and root beer can help provide some jet propulsion :-)!

  37. My Champion sports bra hooks just like a regular bra. It’s also sized as a regular bra.

  38. Steph, Your rides are adding even more value that you know. You have inspired me to do exactly the same in the Ride to Conquer Cancer. Living a parallel life at present juggling work, family, training rides and praying secretly for rain. I wonder how many more knitters are biking and raising money because of you? Gretta

  39. Hilarious! it does not rain here, it is nicely warm, but for the umpteenth time the skies are grey, sweaty weather, it has been overcold here until now. I too thought I was the only one with sports bra problems, those two downside my chin make me use 35 cm. needles (instead of 30 cm.) for socks knitting, otherwise needles and the two get in each others way. But, I found an easier way for me to put on the thing. I ignore the armholes, just stretch it so head and arms can get through the neckhole (not easy, but doable) then, when the whole elastic thing is about around my chest under my armpits, I wrestle my arms one by one through the armholes and pull every bit of the bra in place, including those two. When I saw the Polish tennisplayer strugling with his buttoned up shirt yesterday at Wimbledon (ever tried putting on a poloshirt with all the buttons fastened?) I thought: My, my, must he be happy not being a girl – that was because of sports bras, he did not even have a large enough neckhole). Hooks and eyes can be very nasty when sweating or, when they are on your back, cycling for hours, I even had problems when we were motorbiking for a long ride and I am not allergic to any metal, the fastening bit just pressed to ugly under my leather overall. Warning: try my technique with your oldest s.b. and Joe nearby with a pair of scissors. Other readers can of course take advantage of their own “Joe-person”. Anybody doing spinning or knitting while watching the Tour de France ? I knit honeybee hexagons while watching Wimbledon, hopefully there are no drugs included there.

  40. Because of a rotator cuff injury I wear sports bras with front zippers or back hooks. No more being a contortionist for me!
    Of course because I have the discipline of a slug, I haven’t put one on in ages. You inspire me to start moving more than my knitting needles.

  41. What? No pics?
    I’m glad it’s raining, but I really admire your commitment to doing this.

  42. Thank you for making me laugh out loud as I am having my first cup of coffee. A friend recommended your blog a few weeks ago and you are a joy to read.

  43. I was inspired to get up and go cycling this morning before the really wicked heat set in. Love my Moving Comfort sports bra(it has hooks) and my padded bike shorts.
    Thanks Stephanie, for the kick in the rear I needed.

  44. I know how you feel … before nationals (for rowing), my crew and I were training about 30 hours a week doing double-days, with the first practice starting at 5 am. Those just took it out of me … I’m so happy that you’re so committed, and I’m sending good thoughts your way!
    Your trim body will be totally worth it, right?

  45. I hear you on the horribleness of rain, although I think as with many things it gets easier with practice (oh, who am I kidding, I bundle up in a waterproof; but I’m not trying for speed).
    On the sports bra front I recommend getting one that does up rather than one you pull on over the head (gosh, I’d not be able to do that; stupid shoulders mobility fail). I wear Shock Absorber bras for running

  46. Hi. I’ve been bicycling/touring for 30 years and while I do wear spandex (scary view I’m sure after all these years) I also opt for running shorts, very comfy. I’ve discovered, for me, the less padding in the shorts the better. Also, when I do decide to splurge on new sports bras, they will have hooks. Husband has to help me wrestle out of them at the end of a long sweaty ride, not an attractive picture. One thing about bicycling, it’s like knitting a lace shawl, it really clears the mind. Enjoy.

  47. Pull your sports bra up from the bottom. It makes a world of difference. I only learnt that about a year ago and I’m older than you.

  48. Thanks Steph. I live in FL. It was raining here too. We’ve had so much rain that I am now wearing knee high rubber boots to walk the dogs. I spent the day watching the sky so I wouldn’t leave my flag out in the rain. No hope of making it to sundown. But at least we got the grilling in.

  49. And then came arthritis in my shoulder… Had to raise my bike’s handlebars so there wasn’t so much pressure on the shoulder while riding, otherwise 30 miles did me in. Worst, all bras now must go over my head like sports bras… No, no front hooks; I tried that once, and it came undone when I bent over–they aren’t made for those more well endowed…

  50. Our fourth, took the ferry to Victoria for the day, only found one yarn shop, and found another AFTER we arrived home. Hope we can get back up, as it was lovely. Smoked Meat. hahahahaha!

  51. first attempt at comment failed, so here goes again… try shock absorber sports bras (they have a canadian website http://www.shockabsorber.ca ) they have a bunch that have hooks in the back, but have padding so the hooks can’t stab you. They’re scientifically tested and there’s different ones for different sports. Fantastic support, and no need to drag a bra over the top of your head..

  52. I think this “I’ve been waiting for it to get easy, and I think it’s not going to, and I think that’s okay too” is maybe about where I’m at in my thinking about getting used to having a newborn/being a mom. 9 days in, and it feels hard, but I’m also looking forward to the 28th. That’s when my sister gets here.
    Good luck with the ride! You can do it!

  53. You’re doing such an amazing job, just by virtue of making a committment to doing a great thing! My husband and I also get up at 5am on weekday mornings to go work out. We go join in an outdoor bootcamp routine that takes place around the corner in a church parking lot. I began a year before he did. I explained that by getting up at 5am you could dress and be out of the house and standing in your spot before being awake enough to understand what you have just done. By the time you became aware you were totally trapped into the hour long workout. It works…. except for those mornings when you pretend to be too tired to do anything more that shut off your alarm and the other spouse buys into it because, well, you love them just that much….

  54. I can completely see myself doing the same thing (putting off until coffee, breakfast, a second coffee) my training runs when I was doing half marathons. Even then, the half marathons didn’t involve training past 2.5 hours at a time.

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    {Kudos|Cheers|Many thanks|Thanks}|
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