The top ten reasons I have deleted blog posts to you in the last 2 weeks – along with random photos of where I have been and things I have been doing.
- I have been travelling and working a lot, and by the time I find an internet connection to hit “post” what I wrote seems out date and stupid.
(The Resort at Port Ludlow on the last day of our retreat, when a rainbow broke out of the (unrelenting) rain.)
2. After my last post, someone wrote me an email saying that I should be nicer to autistic people. My response wasn’t generous, and I deleted it. (Everyone should be nice to everyone – which I was, even though the guy was a jerk. I answered all his questions and gave him my hotspot. I am super nice.)
3. One of the posts was about weaving in ends and I almost bored myself to death writing it, never mind posting it.
(mitten knitting on the plane.)
4. At least three of them just said YES YOU CAN KNIT ON A PLANE.
(Finished Cloisonee mittens. That I knit on a plane.)
5. I deleted one by accident and in a fit of rage couldn’t write another.
(Trying to knit a second pair of Cloisonee mittens on the plane when I realized I’d forgotten the white yarn. I had backup yarn for another project but was mightily annoyed.)
6. A few of them were too vulnerable, sad and grief struck. I am generally all of those things right now, but I am trying hard to let those feelings come and go – and writing them down and committing them to the archive felt too much like committing to the dark side. There are times of happiness along with the grief, and because I’ve always believed that you get more of what you pay attention to, I didn’t want to write about grief.
(The backup yarn. Despondent Dyes : Party like you plan to be home at 9:00)
7. Then I decided that it was wrong not to write about grief, because it’s a human thing and it’s what’s happening and it happens to everyone and shouldn’t we talk about it?
8. See #6.
9. Thrown off by #’s 6, 7 and 8, I wrote a really happy one, and then decided (because grief makes you a crazy person) that it was disrespectful to my mother’s memory to be too happy and felt guilty that I wasn’t grieving and deleted it.
(The inestimable Clara Parkes and me. In the snow.)
10. I was knitting.
PS I almost deleted this because I remembered it was American Thanksgiving and wondered if my post should be about that (even though it is not Thanksgiving here.) I decided not to. Happy Thanksgiving, American friends. Happy Thursday to everyone else.