The tree is up.  Sam helped me out last night and got the lights on the thing while I was at a Bike Rally function (I’ve joined the Steering Committee this year. There are many meetings even though we’re months and months from the ride) and when I got home I got all of the ornaments on it.

It’s very, very pretty, and it would totally have given me the sense of accomplishment and festive prowess I was looking for, if I hadn’t have had a fairly significant knitting setback.

I’m still trying to get everything for the holidays on the needles. I have this sense that if I can get it all started, that finishing will seem easy – and so yesterday I grabbed some yarn, chose a pattern and whacked a pair of mittens onto the needles.  Then I left the house, and hopped a bus, and then a streetcar, and two minutes into my travel I knew I’d made two mistakes. First, the yarn, needles and pattern weren’t playing nicely together, and second, I’d brought no other knitting.  None. Not so much as a wee sockie, and so there I was, knitting on a project I knew was doomed pretty much the whole evening.  I kept going. I mean, what else was there to do? Not knit? For a whole evening? Two streetcar trips? That would end in disaster, I know that for sure. That ends with me having to apologize to a bunch of people all while saying something like “I didn’t mean to say that, it’s just that I was out of wool and it effects my self-control.”

When  I got home, I took the thing off the needles, and I guess I’ll have to start again – although to be sure it’s bad, I’m giving it a bit of a bath first.  Part of me thinks maybe it will be all right, although I can tell it won’t be.   In the name of all things moth repellant, why do we always think these things will work when we can feel it in our hearts that it won’t? Does hope spring that eternal? Are we that determined, or stupid? What about my good sense has me swishing this mitten cuff round a sink of warm suds like my forty years of knitting experience hasn’t already told me it’s bloody awful? It’s the desperation born of twenty days till Christmas, that’s what it is, and frankly, I can’t believe I’m falling for it. It’s nothing but a failed swatch, and I know it.  One whole day of lost knitting time.

What did Luis hang today?

El corazón. The heart.

I asked Carlos why he picked that one, but apparently the reasons are a mystery.  It’s not what I thought he would pick next, but there you have it. (I understand there’s a bit of a debate happening over there. The Santa is supposed to go last, to indicate that Santa’s coming that night, but apparently Lou’s got it in his head that if he hangs that one, he can call the great man at his bidding. The heart may have been his second choice,  for not being able to make today Christmas Eve.)  For this ornament I used this pattern, (I think) and added a little row of other hearts inside.  You know, to make it more heartish.  I can tell you that this one is really a symbol of my love, not just because it’s a heart, but because that thing was a royal pain in the arse to sew up.

Gifts for Knitters, day 5.

Tee shirts for knitters! You’ll know best if your knitter is the tee-shirt type, but if they are, trust me, these are great.  This one is an inside joke, but your knitter will get it. I’d wear this one as regular clothes, although this one is probably more appropriate. This one is still a dream that won’t come true,  and if your knitter is also a sewer? This fabric printed to look like knitting is very, very cool (and comes in other colours too.) This fabric has balls of yarn on it. (We like those.) These are knitting needles, and if all else fails. Remember. Sheep.

There’s a million things like this out there. If none of these speak to you, check the comments below. I bet most of these knitters have a favourite shirt.

PS. Because someone will ask, the glass ornament in the top picture are these snowflakes.

I had to happen, and it has. A moment of panic has snuck its way into my glorious sense of peacefulness around the holidays, and this morning I had a minor freakout and revised the spreadsheet, adding a few items, and moving a few items around, and then we went and bought a tree.  It’s sitting in the living room now, completely naked and awaiting the time to trim it, and I hope that’s tonight, because I think having a brightly lit, sparkling tree in the living room will do a lot to make me feel like I’ve got a grip on the season.  Realistically, it’s only one small item off the list, but it’s a significant one.  (A few wrapped gifts to put beneath it would really help, but that’s just crazy talk.)

What did Luis hang today?

Our little Lou has had a love affair with our cat Millie for some time now.  When he arrives at our house she’s the first thing he looks for.  He runs around the house, calling her name (which comes out “Mi-yee”) and filling his pockets with cat food so that when he finds her, he can try to buy her love. Millie, who’s an older cat with good manners, does not return Lou’s love in any way, shape or form, and as a matter of fact (and despite the bribes) hightails it to a secret location the minute he comes through the door.  Lou doesn’t perceive this as rejection (which it totally is) and instead views it as challenge.  He and I go for a hunt for her, and when she’s found he gives her his pocket cat treats, watches her eat them, and squeals with delight.

If a cat could roll her eyes, Millie would.  I try to help her out by limiting Lou’s access to that one brief interaction, but it has done nothing to dim his love. Mi-yee is significant to Lou, and so she went on his calendar, and surprise, surprise, it’s what he picked today. I love watching his wee priorities revealed in his choices.

I toyed around with the idea of a knitted cat (this pattern was high on the list) but I had a specific idea about how it should look, and felt turned out to be the better answer.  Like with the truck, I cut a cat shape out of felt. (I can draw, but if you can’t you could trace something from here – just be nice about not stealing art, make sure it’s a free image.) I embroidered the top layer, and then sewed it to the back one. (That hides the mess on the wrong side.) A smarter crafter would have embedded the hanger in the seam, but sadly, I am not that crafter. I sewed it to the back.  If know not many of you will want a Millie for your tree, but wouldn’t any representation of the family pet be sweet? (There’s some free patterns here.)  By the way, I had trouble with the mouth, so I left it off. No harm, no foul.

Gifts for Knitters, Day four

Dear Non-knitter who loves a knitter,

This one is not for all knitters. There are knitters who have a big attachment to project bags and project baskets, and this isn’t for them. This one is for knitters who like to knit from yarn wound into balls – and would like a little more control over said balls. (It’s also mostly for knitters who like to sit in one place while they work. If your knitter trucks their knitting all over creation eighty-four times a day, they might not be into it. These knitters may want a yarn bowl.  Yarn bowls are – well, they’re bowls, but bowls with a notch or swirl cut into it to guide the yarn, and they’re handy for keeping yarn from rolling all over the place when you pull another length free. The yarn sits there, tidily, without rolling under the couch and collecting every little bit of cat hair or dust that those of us with a less than heroic commitment to vacuuming appreciate.  There’s all sorts of them. Some are ceramic, some are ceramic with birds on, (this one has birds too) some are wood, and (rather excitingly, for those of us who love wool) some are felt.  If you’re handy, and you have a dremel, you could make one for your knitter. They’d love that. You should pick one that suits your knitters home and taste, and frankly, the size of their balls.

Ahh, the long dark tea-time of the soul that is the Canadian winter.  I don’t mind the cold so much (that’s a lie. I loathe it with a passion that makes Romeo and Juliet look like stoic shleps) it’s the dark that’s so demoralizing.  Today is grey and dreary, and that combined with the short days means that right now, at 3:30 in the afternoon, it’s as though it was early evening outside, and the fact that my tiny Victorian house has about four windows isn’t helping much.  The streetlights come on about 4:10 these days, and it’s plenty dark by 4:30.  I wouldn’t mind so much (another lie) if it weren’t for how hard it makes it to get good knitting photos done. It’s always this time of year I think about getting a flash, because the alternative to these dodgy pictures is standing in the cold, and today it’s too windy for yarn, and well.  It’s all a long way around saying that this picture isn’t the best, which is too bad, because I think it’s going to be lovely.

(The astute among you will certainly notice that he only thing properly in focus in that shot is the cat hair, which I thought about disguising, or cleaning up, and then realized that there’s probably cat hair at your house, and pretending it isn’t here is a little mean.  I left it.)

This is the scarf/shawl thing that I mentioned yesterday, one of the things I’m under the impression I can knit like the wind between now and Christmas.  It was a present in the goodie bags at the last Strung Along retreat, and I maneuvered to get a blue one, because it’s perfect for someone I know.  It’s a mini skein of Skinny Ewe Lace from Holiday Yarns, and because the folks over there are a little bonkers, a mini skein was 400m, which is more than enough to do a small shawl/scarf thing.  Jennifer included the beads, and the pattern for Indian Feathers, and the whole setup was so charming that I couldn’t help but cast on.  (The cast on edge is more than 400 stitches, but at least it’s going to get shorter rather than longer.) My goal for this week was to get everything for Christmas cast on, but I think it’s going to take a trip to the yarn shop, so I’m a little behind.  I’m ignoring it. I’m sure it’s going to be fine.

Onto our new regular features?

What’s Luis hanging today?

Madness continues to reign, as Lou selects an ornament each day, with no regard for the numbers (makes sense, he’s too little to count) and today when I texted Carlos to find out which one it was, he said “El pato, otro de sus favoritos.”  Have I told you that Carlos speaks Spanish? (He’s from Spain) I’ve been learning over the last year, and one of the ways Carlos helps me practice is that generally, he texts me in Spanish.  Usually I can figure out what he’s saying – though today was an exception.  Pato is a duck in Spanish, and I got that – except there’s no ornament on the tree that’s a duck. I thought about it, then texted back “Un pajaro azul?” because dudes, there’s no duck, but there is a Blue Bird of Happiness.

I knit that little guy just as the pattern indicated, except I didn’t stuff it very much because I wanted it pretty flat.  Also, my bird is a wee bit smaller than in the pattern, so I had trouble making a really tiny beak, and it did come out a little large, and maybe that’s why it looks like a duck.  Carlos did respond, and say that was the one, and that to Luis, it’s the duck. It’s his calandario now, so I’m not saying a word.

Gifts for Knitters, day three.

Stitch markers.  I know, you think you shouldn’t get these for your knitter because they already have lots, but stitch markers are ephemeral. You need a lot because they aren’t long for this world.  (Plus, you just need a lot. It’s like knitting jewelry.)  Right now, I think you should get this one for your knitter.  It’s a cell phone plug marker.  It goes into the headphone jack of your knitters phone or device, and then they’ve always got a marker with them.  (Again, trust me. This is a good idea.) While you’re at that shop? Get one of these ornaments and hang it on the tree. It’s too cool.  If  you’re still feeling festive after that, snag some holiday themed markers here,  or look around here. There’s stitch markers for every type. (Hint: These ones are tardises.)  If you’re the crafty type, you could even make some, and you’d pretty much win Christmas.  Good hunting.

With the advent calendar done – and thanks so much for all your lovely comments, I’m so very proud, I sat down with the spreadsheet to figure out what remains to be knit. We’re right properly into December now, and that means I’ve got 22 days to finish what’s left on my list, and lucky me, the list doesn’t seem to be too bad.  (Right now Presbytera is scoffing into her coffee mug, and writing down the date and time I’ve said that. She’ll be posting a link to the statement in the comments in about 20 days when I’m a crazy person.) I’ve got a pair of dress mittens to make (This is Canada. We have dress mittens, and shovelling mittens, and they’re not at all the same) and a wee sweater (that hardly counts. I started it last night and I’ve already got a good start, assuming the fact that I’m not really using a pattern doesn’t come back to bite me in the arse – but why would it) and a hat (that’s not due until just after Christmas) and a shawl/scarf thing, and maybe a pair of socks.  Not too bad, considering the size of the hole I usually dig myself this year.  Of course, there’s lots of other things to do (we have no tree, no cookies – and I haven’t wrapped a single item) but I still feel like it’s all going to go just fine. This is largely delusion on my part, but I’m keeping it that way for as long as I can.

A few of you noticed yesterday that I didn’t start my Gifts for Knitters list on time, and you’re right.  I didn’t.  Traditionally, I provide a little running list of presents that non-knitters can use to buy us the things we really want each year, and I’m totally not breaking with tradition this year – I was just so chuffed with the calendar that I wanted it to have it’s whole own post. With that out of the way, I’ll tack on the gift suggestion for the day to each post going forward – and today I’ll give you two, to be caught up.

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Dear Non-knittter who loves a Knitter,

It’s that time of year again, when you need to buy your knitter a gift, and want to make it something that fits with their interests, but near as you can tell, they only have one interest, and that interest is as cryptic and mysterious to you as golf is to them. We know about that time you went to the yarn store and tried to get them something “knitty” but there were too many kinds of yarn, and you didn’t know what sort they liked, or how much to get, and if they even like alpaca.  We know that you stood in front of the knitting needle rack, and you tried to buy some, but you know your knitter already had some needles, and you wondered if they even need more. We know that some of them are straight and some were short, and some were called circular, and for the life of you, you couldn’t figure out what was circular about them. We know that right after the shop owner asked if you needed any help, you realized you were beyond help,  freaked out and left, and bought them those slippers and a book on the way home.  We know, and this list is here to help.

Not everything on this list is going to be right for your knitter. You know them, and you’ll do fine.  Just follow the tips and hints, and everything will be okay. You’ll be a rock star this Christmas, and your knitter won’t have to pretend to like your gift. It will be better. I promise.  The first tip? If your knitter forwards you a link to this blog? Scroll down to the Gifts for Knitters section, and see what they’re on about. It’s a hint.

Gifts for Knitters Days one and two.

Does your knitter drink coffee or tea? If they do, then consider a knitting themed mug. For lots of knitters, sheep are an emblem – so mugs with sheep on them are knitty. (Just about anything with a sheep on it can be good, if your knitter is the type. You’ll have noticed other sheepy stuff around if they are.)  If they make you drive so they can take knitting and a coffee in the car – consider this one. (Trust me, it’s funny. Also true.) You might not know, but for many knitters, Elizabeth Zimmerman is sort of the closest thing we have to a patron saint.  You’d be hard pressed to go wrong with this mug.

If your knitter isn’t the mug type, or if you’ve noticed that the already have a mug that they always use, then look around for knitting needles.  Are they everywhere? Do they spill out of drawers, bags and boxes? Do several roam the bottom of your knitters bag, or poke out of random spots in the house? Then consider getting them something to keep them in. There’s a few kinds of needles, so look around, and get a case that matches.  If they have lots of short needles with points on both ends, then think about getting them this gadget – it’s pretty new, so I bet they don’t have one. It’s the Handwork Hardware needle sorter and gauge and it’s very, very cool.  The needles fit through holes on the top that are different sizes, and sorts them into slots that store them by size. They’ll love it. It solves a bunch of problems.  If you don’t see that kind of needle around, then you probably see short needles, connected by a plastic cable.  Those are circular (they aren’t circular themselves, but let you knit in a circle) and they’re hard to store.  Think about getting them a Circular Solution or this beautiful one from Della Q. (Warning, if your knitter isn’t American, they might be annoyed that a few of the metric sizes have no spots on those.) There’s lots to choose from, and a lot of them are handmade. (Your knitter likes hand made things. It’s part of their gig.) If there are LOTS of needles around, then the hanging one might be better, it holds more – but if your knitter really digs taking needles with them everywhere they go, those cases are awesome. Namaste makes a neat one that’s like a box, and one that’s like a wallet. If you see lots of long, straight needles around, look for a beautiful needle roll, like this one, or this one, or this one.  There’s lots. If you’ve heard the word “interchangeable” bandied about, or if you notice your knitter putting needles onto those cables and taking them off again (or heard them swear when one comes apart by itself) then a case like this one from Madsen Originals is the ticket, and if you’re looking for one that does it all? Look no farther than Graces Cases. Love that one.

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Finally, what’s Luis hanging today? Apparently all hell’s cut loose over there, because despite it really not being in the day 2 pocket, today the camión was hung.

Festive, right? Well, maybe only if you’re Luis, but he is.  Despite several upsetting attempts to knit a truck, this ornament was cut and sewn from felt.  I took inspiration from this tutorial, although skipped some of the details, because Lou’s truck was much smaller than the one that blogger made.  I sewed all the pieces onto the top piece, then blanket stitched the front and back together.

I think we’ve all figured out that Luis is going to hang these in order of preference. I wonder what he’ll choose tomorrow?

The feeling of peace and calm I have around the upcoming holidays continues unabated.  I keep waiting for the moment when I look how much time is left, toss it together with what’s left to do and have the world explode into a white flash of anxiety, but so far, not so much as a cramp.  Perhaps it’s that I’ve already got so much done (thank you, spreadsheet of festive power) or maybe it’s all the knitting I did all year long, now ready to be wrapped up and tucked under the tree… or maybe it’s that last night, I finished the Advent tree, and delivered it to the lucky recipient – right in time for the first ornament to be hung this morning.

Done. 24 tiny things all woollen, all charming, all tailored to be of interest to the wee guy they’re for – and that guy? Luis, of course.

I know he’s a little small to be really, really delighted with a gift – I mean, he’s only two and 3/4, but if I wanted to make something I thought he would remember having at every Christmas of his life, this was probably the last year to deliver, and he was more charmed by it that I’d ever hoped.  He took out all the little things, exclaimed over what they all were (“CAMION PAPA! CAMION!” –  Perfect validation for the Auntie who thought there should absolutely be a truck ornament) and tried hanging them on the little buttons.

He then promptly took off eight, snatched them tight in his wee fat hands, and threw them behind the chesterfield, prompting parents to scramble on the floor, and then hang the thing higher. (He also put one or two of them in his pants. It’s a current strategy for stashing his belongings when he has no pockets.)

I’m so glad he liked it, and almost as good, I think Katie and Carlos liked it too, and I am so stinking happy not to be knitting anymore tiny things that I can just about drop dead of joy. Or exhaustion, or something. I love how it turned out. It’s just like I imagined it, and we all know how seldom that happens with a project.  I’m going to show you all the ornaments, with links, one day at a time. (You know, if you wanted to knit one a day…)  So…

What’s Lou hanging today?

The star.  I’d originally thought the star would go last, but upon reflection, I thought it should be first. Something else was better last, and truthfully, it’s what I put on my tree first, so why not.  The star came from this pattern, and is knit out of a scrap of fingering weight yellow wool, on 2mm needles. (Most of the patterns I used, I had to downsize so they would fit.  Most of the time I did this by using smaller yarns and needles.

With this project done, I’m off to consult the spreadsheet, and see what’s left to be done, knitting wise.  I’m sure counting that up will do a lot for my sense of peace. How bad can it be?

Happy Thanksgiving to my American friends, and… happy Thursday to the rest of the world.  Here in Canada it’s just a Thursday, and I’m spending it knitting tiny things.

If all goes well, that will be a star (and a more clever pattern, I don’t think you could find) despite the way that it looks like a some sort of deflating sea urchin right now.  The tiny things are like this, I find.  I knit several odd looking wee bits, and then right when you can’t see any hope that it will resemble anything at all, you sew up (or stuff, or graft, or sew together) four or five little stitches, and bang.  A gnome pops of the needles.

I am here using the word “pops” incorrectly.  “pops” makes it sound like a quick process, or like it happens all of a sudden and really, it’s nothing like that. There’s something about the tiny things that means that they take much longer than I expect.  I’ll look at a tiny little Santa, think something like “oh, he’s so wee, it won’t take more than a minute to knit that” and then two hours later I’m crying into the waning light because I’ve sewn his spectacularly small beard on crooked, and one of his embroidered eyes has gone all wonky.  There is no room for error with the tiny things.  In a great big sweater, one misplaced stitch represents 1/15000th of the finished thing. Nobody will ever notice one little stitch that isn’t quite right, but in these things, one misplaced stitch and Santa looks like a bedraggled drunk elf who got trampled by a vicious band of reindeer on his way home from the local.  I took twelve runs at his stupid little nose before it was on straight, and don’t get me started on the gnome with the seemingly dislocated shoulder. As I noted on Twitter last night, if this project is what finally puts me off the rails, it will be the sewing, not the knitting that does it.

It’s three days ’til deadline, and I have nine to go, although only two more are knitted, and the rest are lovely, woollen felt.  I labour under the bizarre notion that although it’s the sewing that’s giving me fits, those will go faster.  I’ll thank you not to disabuse me of the notion, because I’m pretty close to the end of my rope.  Last night (as I attempted to sew the arm on straight to some bitty thing with arms)  I said something out loud like “^$#!% this *&^$*()ing *&#$, I (*$#¬˚˙ƒing hate it.”  Joe inquired gently about maybe I wanted to buy a few little ornaments and put them in the remaining pockets.  “This doesn’t appear to be super-fulfilling” he said.

I stared at him.  “It’s fulfilling.” I replied.  “Just not… now.  It’s going to be fulfilling the whole month of December. Just. Not. Now.”

With that, I realized that this time, it’s not the process that’s the payoff.  It’s going to be the product.  Three more days of tiny things.

Here I am, four days until deadline on the ornaments, with 11 to go (don’t panic early. I think I’m fine) and I snapped.  I think there’s something about knitting tiny, teeny little things that just gets to you after a while.  Last night I was just about moved to tears during the making of an itty bitty candy cane, and that maybe explains these.

It’s a quick pair of Super-Bulky Fingerless Mitts, and I knit them out of a skein of Super Soft Merino (very, very aptly named) that I’ve had kicking around for a while.  These bad boys took about five minutes to knit.  I sneezed and they fell off the needles.

While five minutes may be the tiniest bit of an exaggeration, there’s no way they took more than two hours. I started them on my way downtown to a meeting, knit only a tiny bit during the meeting, and finished them up when I got home. Two subway rides, a ten minutes walk and a cup of tea. That’s how long they took, and they’re a perfect foil for itty-bitty things on itty-bitty needles.  They’re a Christmas present too, so I feel like I still got something done. I have a real sense of calm about this Christmas – which might mean I’m delusional rather than ahead of the game, but I’m worrying about it in four days.

I followed the pattern as written, with one little exception.  I made the hand a little longer (it is so cold here) and finished with two rows of ribbing.  I like it better.

It’s a good thing that I don’t have any more of this yarn, or I think I’d be tempted to pound out another seventeen few pairs. One skein, two hours, one present. What’s not to love?

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to figure out if I can knit a tiny truck. Can you?

I’d planned on this post going up much earlier than this today, but a quick knitting rescue for my Mother-in-law turned into a very handy shopping trip (if you finish a hat, you should get the ribbon straightaway, before the urge fades) and poof. My afternoon evaporated in the most pleasant way.  (I am not cursed with a difficult Mother-in-law. In fact, she’s rather lovely, and knitterly.) It seems like the days pass so quickly right now, at least the part of the day that’s not candlelit, cozy and… well, rather frankly bad for finished knitted stuff pictures, but Sam had a little time this afternoon, so a quick photoshoot while Nana sipped her tea was in order.

I finished the shawl I’ve had on the needles as travel/anything/got a free minute knitting, and I love it. I’m crazy about it.  I’m insane with the desire to keep it just for myself, although it’s a Christmas present, and it’s about to be December, and frankly, this is no time of the year for shawl envy.  I’ll wrap it tomorrow, and get it ready to go under the tree, despite how much I want it – and despite the lingering and quiet belief that I could knit another before I even have a tree.

My Christmas spreadsheet is in great shape, and I can’t let greed screw it up. Besides, I have another skein of this, in a colourway I like even better. So there.  This one though, is a gift, and it’s CaterpillarGreen Yarns shawl stripe, in Concrete and Tulips (the large skein.)

Needle was 3.5mm, and the pattern was inspired by the Simple Yet Effective Shawl. I did garter stitch when the yarn was grey, and stockinette when I hit a colour.  Simple, yet effective, indeed.

I love it, and I want to keep it, and I think Sam (still the worlds preeminent knitwear model) agrees.

(PS. I have twelve ornaments finished, and 6 days to go. The heat, as we like to say, is on.)

Let’s say, that you were very much a knitter, and less so a sewer – and let’s say that you decided to do a very simple sewing project.  Let’s say – even, because it’s true, that you only decided to do that sewing project because when it was done it would be a vehicle for knitting, and that made it seem all right to you.

Let’s say also, that you have a brand-spankin’ new sewing machine that you said you wanted, and even though it turns out that your husband really got that sewing machine so that he could learn to sew and make things for the boat, you really feel like you should use it. (Let’s say that things are also more or less square between you and said husband, because you delayed telling him that you can buy bias tape until he’d made a few million metres of it.)  Let’s say also that you may, or may not have had the best plan (read – no plan) for this project, except that you’ve been thinking about it for a while, and really, 90% of your plans work out, in one way or another. (Eventually.)  Let’s say that had finished embroidering all your numbers on the thing, and let’s say that you ran out of red embroidery floss as you finished the 4 in 24, and that’s a pretty good place to run out if you’re making an advent calendar, which you are.

Let’s also say that after you drew about nineteen really weird/wonky/crooked trees, you finally got one that’s just the right amount of whimsy, without being all Seussian, and let’s say that while you had a pretty hard time sewing it on, you remembered a thing or two about turning corners while you were doing that, and so you only swore like a sunburned sailor for about half of the time.  Let’s say too, that despite a few incidents with the reverse button – which let’s also say that you’ve discovered is in the least intuitive place that it could possibly be in, which (let’s just say) might have meant that the corners aren’t quite as tidy as they could have been, that you’ve managed to sew down the embroidered strips for the pockets, and got them turned into pockets, with a little more stitching, and really – that reverse thingie? You’re still mad about where it is. (Let’s say too that you’re not quite ready to release all your rage at the machine, because you know that it’s probably just 25 years of having a different machine with the reverse in a different spot that’s actually the problem.)

Let’s say as well, that after consulting the internet, and your mum (who’s very, very handy with a sewing machine) that you figured out how to sew on 24 buttons with the machine so that it only took like… an hour instead of three, and let’s say that it could have been a lot faster too, if you could have figured out how to get the “feed dogs” down a little sooner, and if you didn’t have to look up how to get the *&^%$#@!!ing presser foot off, and if you had figured out that the tension was all wrong and was making those weird loops on the bottom before you’d done, like… ten buttons.

Let’s say too, that you decided that only a fool would change the thread in the machine for one button, and you sewed that one on by hand.  (Let’s say that’s the yellow button, and let’s say that you decided that the top one should be yellow, purely for reasons of ornament.)

Let’s say that all of that is true, and that you cut a piece of dowel to go through the top, and let’s say that it took you a while to find a handsaw and mitre box in the basement (because it was in an even less sensible place than the reverse button, and also there are spiders down there) and lets say that you sanded the wood, and got it through the casing at the top, and let’s say that right now it’s hanging in your living room where you can admire it.

Wouldn’t you, let’s just say, be rather smug that it was all going so well, and completely willing to overlook that you only have 6 ornaments made, and it’s 9 days until deadline?

I’d say so.

Another retreat is finished, and I think it was the nicest yet.  I know I say that every time, but this time? I really mean it.  I’m too tired to do more than show you pictures, but here they are.  It. Was. Fantastic.