Days like these

Yesterday bit. That’s all. It was one of those days where (if you are an optimist, and I am) then you just keep investing. Keep looking for that moment when it’s all going to turn around. You know?

I walked Sam to school (in the rain) and Sam did that new Thing that she is doing. Have I told you about the Thing? She walks five paces behind me. Exactly. Not more, not less. She doesn’t fall anymore behind than that, because we are walking at exactly the same speed. It drives me insane. I stop every few minutes to let her catch up (because she is a child, not a puppy and it feels wrong to be out front of her like that) and then I take five steps and she does not. So I stop. So she catches up. So she stops.

We go all the way to the school like that, starting and stopping and starting with me becoming more and more angry about The Thing. (In the rain. I hate rain).

After dropping Sam off I realized that I was feeling a little hostile, so I decided to walk through the park, turn it around you know? Get a little exercise, try to improve the day. You know. I was halfway though the park when a dog the size of a Hummer ran after me, jumped on me, knocked on my arse (in a puddle) and bit my Latvian Mitten. Cujo was called off by her owner, who asked if I was ok and then told me that this 300kg biting machine was “excitable” and “liked me”. I *did* resist the urge to ask what the slathering beast does if she dislikes you. I *did not* resist the urge to suggest that the demon sent hell-hound should be on a leash. This was when the owner told me that “I don’t need to get all bitchy about it”. I decided on the way home that I don’t like her.

From here, things really picked up. Mr. Washie began making a noise that probably signals a deeply personal apocalypse, the back of the vacuum fell off during my one pathetic attempt to clean up (thus naturally creating far, far more work than I was thinking about doing) I developed a spasm in my neck that wants me to put my right shoulder into my ear, and my editor phoned to tell me that I suck so bad that I should immediately give up writing and take up recording wind speeds in the Artic or some other job that has no contact with humanity or at least, for the love of God keep my drivel away from her. (She phrased it differently though..Something about me thinking about “reworking that section”. I knew what she meant though.)

Then I picked up Sam from school (in the rain) and she gave me a hard time all the way home because someone spoke rudely to her at school. Me? I’m an optimist, so I kept my head above water until I dropped a container of extremely old red pepper dip on the kitchen floor (where it exploded) and then knocked over a cup of coffee while cleaning it up. Still, I thought things might be Ok until Sam, trying to help me with something raised her arm quickly, exactly as I was turning around – thus punching me squarely in the face. At this point, I may have lost my temper. (Fine. I did lose my temper.) I stomped off (red pepper dip on my socks, coffee on my pants…with Mr. Washie making that sick squeaking in the background) and went upstairs and decided (sort of on impulse) that I would feel a whole lot better if I slammed some stuff around.

That was when I slammed my finger in the door.

Just a note here? I had three babies that weighed more than eight pounds without so much as an aspirin and I have to tell you that slamming your own finger in a door is so spectacularly painful that I had never lived a moment like it. I saw colours. I saw blackness and then I cried like an enormous suck, or I would have, if I hadn’t have been gasping for air. It was so painful that I couldn’t think in words for about 5 minutes. Then I channelled Norma and managed to remember to take Arnica and Rescue Remedy. Then I chanelled Margene and thought to myself “There’s a lesson in this. I need to slow way down. Slamming your own finger because you are angry about getting punched because you were cleaning because you were going to fast because you had hostility….means you need way, way more yoga.”

Then I got a *&^%$# beer.

(For the brave, there is a picture of the


front of my finger here, and the


back here. Do not click on them you are squeamish. Colours are mostly accurate though the vivid nature of it just isn’t there). I imagine that Lorette will expect me to recover fully.

Understandably, given the seriousness of the finger injury (I cannot believe I typed that) There was no knitting last night. Today, the finger is still spectacular and rather a surprising size, but feels better. It still has a throbbing pulse, but I can now form complete thoughts that do not consist only of obscene swear words strung together with stunning alacrity and talent. I will attempt to spin today. Do not hold your breath for stunning results.

In order to restore some balance to the universe, Today we will do more TSF presents.

Yvette has these to give out. Two pairs of beautiful earrings,


Little sweaters, to Rachel W. and little balls of yarn to Andrea G.

Yvette also has these super funky stitch markers


They will be travelling to Adrienne M.

Chris has a really cool one to offer, though it’s a bit of a mystery to me. Chris is offering 10-20 hours of time to “Secure a website”. Chris explains that this includes stuff like ” looking at a site from a code/access/vulnerability standpoint, produce a nice report and then help fix any issues. (out of date code, non validated fiends, SSL incorrectly installed etc. The idea is, especially if you take credit cards or have a machine that stores personal data…this can be done to secure it.” Chris explains, but basically it helps keep bad things from happening. Very, very bad things. (Am I the only one who thinks that “non validated fiends” sounds especially bad?) Since I don’t know which of our lovely TSFers has an online shop or need for this, why don’t we do it this way. The first person to email me wanting it…gets it.

Julie has 4 hanks of the new Knit Picks “Alpaca Cloud” in Iris that she is willing to part with. (She’s a better woman than I am). She’ll be mailing it to Beate W.

Hayley has sock yarn,


so I hope that Christie H. knits socks!

Kerrie has finished this beautiful shawl,


knit from Koigu with a beaded edge. It will be round the shoulders of Toni F.

Rabbitch went into the stash and came up with this.


It’s 18 oz (about 500g) of a Lincoln fleece in coral. Since I don’t know who spins, I’ll draw from among the KWB keeners who email me wanting it. I promise not to pick myself.

Denise has a copy of Mindful Knitting, written by Tara Jon Manning which she is graciously passing on Sue A. one of the clearly mindful knitters in TSF.

(As an aside? I have it on really good authority that the Mindful Knitting Retreats are a darned good time.)

Finally, last but certainly not least. Sandy’s mittens.


(Picture stolen from Sandy’s site without permission but not hotlinked, which should be worth something.) Sandy was the first person to come on board with Knitters without borders, and that makes her, and these mittens very, very special indeed.

Pamela R., You take good care of them…ya hear?

and Sandy? Nod.

Tomorrow, an important public service message about a guest blog. Get ready.

114 thoughts on “Days like these

  1. Yes! I’m glad someone else understands the whole having a baby v slamming your finger in a door situation. Cameron weighed 9 pounds 3 with no drugs at all but I cried so much when I shut my finger in the door of our new house that you would have thought I’d chopped it straight off! Yucky..
    Cant wait to send the shawl to Toni F – I hope she likes it…

  2. Must be International Finger Slamming Day…I got my right pinky stuck in my bedroom door as I was closing it behind me. I don’t bruise easily and I probably didn’t slam it as hard as you seem to have, but ow.
    *sniff sniff* it only hurts when I press “return”, lol… *slaps hand backwards to forehead*

  3. Sweet merciful deity on a stick. My finger throbs in sympathy just *looking* at yours.
    I’ve shut my fingers in many doors but never to the point of permanent injury (much swearing and hopping and clutching of hand and shaking of finger ensues)–it really is out-of-proportion painful. Too many nerve endings in too small a space and nowhere to squish ’em but against bone, I expect.

  4. Heh, and P.S. – while I have not had a baby myself, *I* was eleven pounds 4 ounces when I was born…does that count on my mom’s behalf, lol?

  5. So what are you typing with, your nose?
    A Friend of a Friend (hereafter FOAF) worked with a woman whose child required, in ascending order of comfort, a blanket, aka Baba, a stuffed kitty [“kiki”], a pillow [“po”] and a stuffed Barney. Some crises could be handled by one object, some required more, and the child was not shy about making clear what was required. Got so that around the cubicled office where everyone heard everything, a phone confrontation with a particularly trying would be followed, after carefully hanging up, by a heartfelt cry of “BabkikipoBARRRRRRRRRRNY!”
    To you.

  6. I want that fleece. It looks like bubble gum and cotton candy… and I want it. To spin of course (not to eat!). Tell me it’s soft, gosh I hope it’s soft.
    Looking at your finger was something like looking at a really bad car accident. I couldn’t not look at it. But like all really bad car accidents, I’m sorry I did. What kind of doors do you have in your house? Metal doors on tight springs? Geez…
    Finally, I just sent copy somewhere and anticipating a similar response…. I’ll email you and we can exchange suggested responses…

  7. OW! Sorry about that- I broke my finger slamming it in a door one time (my middle one, in high school, it was a big hit). It HURTS. Like the dickens. Any any injury that keeps you from knitting hurts the soul, too.
    Here’s to a better day today!

  8. Ohhhhhh, poor Yarn Harlot. That was an absolutely miserable day. I hope that you never have another day approaching that one with its level of miserable.
    And as an aside … my daughter fully empathizes with you re. the slugging in the face episode. (It seems that my elbows have done far more damage to her nose than one would expect from a loving mother.)
    Close your eyes, click your heels together three times, and say “It will get better. It will get better. It will get better.”
    Either that, or your family will put in the nuthouse!

  9. If the finger swells don’t wait to see if it gets better on it’s own. Go to a doctor or other health professional to see if it can be drained.
    By the time I went they said they could have helped it a couple of days earlier…
    No matter what, it’s bad enough that you can’t cook. You must be taken out to dinner, preferably somewhere that the leftovers will feed the family tomorrow, too.

  10. I slammed my thumb in a car door. It sort of looked like yours. It too was throbbing, but so badly I went to the clinic and he had to put a heated paper clip through the top (burns a hole right through your nail) to release the pressure (the blood had built up under the nail). I eventually lost that nail, but a new one grew in its place! Hopefully that doesn’t happen to you!

  11. Dear Harlot,
    what a crummy day you had! I am so sorry. My son Dylan walks to school like Sam does, and it makes me feel crazy. A large unleashed dog once sat on my daughter at the beach. She was underwater at the time.
    And I have certainly been on the wrong end of a letter FROM the editor. I found that harder to recover from than birthing my 10-lb son.
    So I really hope it all stops sucking really soon.

  12. Oh, OW. And here I was complaining about pinching my finger in a corkscrew the other day.
    What a sucky day. I’d pat you on the shoulder, but, given your luck so far, I’m afraid of accidentally poking you in the eye or something.

  13. Ah yes, the doldrums of winter… with perhaps a little sickness thrown in (flu, cold anyone?)… sorry to hear of your travails, and hope things are much cheerier today.
    I slammed my pinky in the car door (a few too many beers actually), but never went to the clinic… so many years later, still have memories of that “stupid day”, and a nail that grows unevenly on either side of the healed split, hate it.

  14. Wow, Stephanie. Now that makes my grumbling yesterday seem totally out of place. Did you get the tags on Cujo? And really, that is a bad-looking finger. Try to take it easy. No cleaning!

  15. “Instant karma’s gonna get you
    Gonna knock you right on the head
    You better get yourself together
    Pretty soon you’re gonna be…”
    …let’s not go there-but I am very sorry about your finger. It is making the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Please do try to cheer up…you can’t afford to injure any more digits. And before you slam anything else around, remember your karma.

  16. Hey Harlot – I’m terribly sorry that you hurt your finger and had an all around crappy day…but I have to admit that the way you told the story of your crappy day had me giggling so hard I was concerned about snorting yogurt out my nose. Hopefully you’ll take that as a compliment, because it was meant as a very high one…:)
    Take care – Shelby

  17. whoa. that was some day. the stars & planets must have been in some funky conjunction or something … sending you hugs and healing energy
    ps – your editor is clearly delusional!! πŸ˜‰

  18. Yep. The stars and planets were in alignment. While I did not slam my finger in the door, I had some pain just like yours, Steph.
    I, too, had a beer. Probably should have had another one, too.
    Take care.

  19. I’d go for beer over yoga, too. Anyone who suggests this is weakness should be reminded gently that you didn’t go straight for the screech.

  20. I totally understand about thinking you’d feel better if you slammed things around a bit…………..back in my younger years I ripped paper when I felt like that, but now, I lock myself in the bathroom and mime bad words and obscene gestures…..

  21. OUCH! I was mad at my parents once and slammed my own finger in the door while I was trying to make my resentment known. It bled for 2 hours and I ended up loosing the fingernail. It grew back ok, but it’s all a bit number than I used to be. That’s the worst. Because you know it was all your own damn fault. I hope today looks better.

  22. Keep drinking the beer but put it on ice…keep your finger in the ice.
    Truly it will help with the swelling. It must hurt like hell if you can’t knit!
    Pamela is a very lucky person! (As is everyone else who won.)

  23. Oh. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, my dear. You deserve many hugs for that horrible day. Screw it, you deserve many hugs just for the finger fiasco. I’m so, so sorry you had such a supremely awful day. This must surely mean there are some spectacular days coming up for you. Right? *Right*?!?
    A few other comments…
    a) I strongly suspect Chris meant non-validated fields, not fiends. πŸ™‚
    b) Congratulations. The Thing means that you are now officially Uncool. When I was at that stage I was beyond mortified to be seen in the immediate vicinity of either of my parents. It was just Too Embarrassing to be seen with them in public. They had this horrible habit of doing really mortifying stuff, like, you know, breathing wrong. That kind of thing. Don’t worry about it. There is absolutely nothing you can do to shake the Uncoolness, because you are Sam’s parent and it comes with the territory. Eventually she will get over herself and once again be willing to be seen with you. Ironically, when this time comes, she will probably marvel at how much *you’ve* changed. The only nice thing about The Thing is that it gives you Power. You can now threaten Sam at any time with the ungodly torture of HUGGING HER IN FRONT OF ALL HER FRIENDS in order to extract good behaviour out of her. I have every confidence that you will be able to milk this for all it’s worth.
    c) Dog owner is a moron.
    d) You’re still writing bookbookbook? Didn’t you have to have a completed MS *before* the publisher picked it up and designed a cover for it? Am I missing a key aspect about the book publishing industry? Inquiring minds want to know.

  24. At least it could have been the middle finger so you could have shown it off at least…has anyone taken up the offer from Chris? if not I’d be interested….or you could have a lovely iced beverage of the alcoholic type and use your finger to stir….medicinal ya know

  25. Okay….when you knit two right mittens I didn’t laugh, but THIS, somehow this hit me in the giggleplex. I laughed….no roared! I am so sorry. I don’t think it is funny that you crushed your finger, got smacked in the face, dumped your coffee, splattered gunk on the counter….and so forth. But the way you TOLD it was hilarious!

  26. After reading about your first disaster, I was going to comment that your abanonded knitting projects from yesterday’s post were ganging up on you… but – then after reading the rest… you had a horrible day. Hope your universe gets better soon!

  27. Ewwwwww, I am so sorry. Days like that make it hard to breathe. I have slammed my finger in the kitchen drawer many times. Now that may not sound particularly painful, however, I have stone countertops and my drawers are flush with cabinet edges. I have done this more than once, and end up on the floor learning new vocabulary every time. I also have four daughters ages 2, 7, 10 and 14. This would be why I read your blog, as I do not knit. Thank you for the laughter.

  28. Man, Stephanie, when you do stuff, you do not do it by halves! I stand in awe of your litany of disasters and crikey! What a finger!
    And your writing doesn’t suck. Honest!

  29. I had a day JUST like that yesterday – well, in spirit if not in actual events. Today is better. I hope your today is better, too.

  30. Days like that make even a non-optimist like me repeat over and over “Tomorrow can only be better.” That finger looks ouchie. Did the mitten survive the dog incident? The Thing sounds super annoying, what’s with that? Hope things look up soon! πŸ™‚

  31. Hm, let’s see, someone’s giant dog runs up and jumps on me in the rain (and I’m guessing the big dog smells like a big wet dog at this point) and I fall down and land in a puddle, and you want me to not be a bitch about it? Wowee, would I have a hard time not saying “f— you” and then feeling bad the rest of the day–let alone the Rest of the Story.
    I guess this means it’s time to stop moping over here and get with it.
    Oh and: I love your interpretation of your editor’s true meaning. Makes me feel so much better about being such a freak about sending off my own writing.

  32. I’m still recovering from my sympathy giggles. My co-workers think I’m nuts.
    Sorry to hear about your terrible day. I’ve always heard that bad stuff happens in 3’s, but really, it’s more like 16’s. I hope your finger feels better soon, with or without a liberal application of Screech.
    When I was about Sam’s age, I was walking down the street with my mum, and some of my friends appeared across the street. My mother actually asked me how far behind me I wanted her to walk. I thought she was nuts. Anyway, just tell Sam that if she insists on not acknowledging your existence, she should at least walk ahead of you so you can make sure that she isn’t kidnapped or whatever on the way to school. Her walking behind you just means she can get snatched that much more easily, and will force you to do all kinds of mean things, like pin her name and phone number to her clothes or call the school each and every morning to make sure she gets in okay. πŸ™‚
    (Oh, and just out of curiosity – do you have to walk 5 paces past the school so she can go in?)

  33. Hi Harlot,
    Just back from a month of skiing at BLue Mountain, and am today suffering from eye strain as I catch up on a month of yarnharlot posts. What is the name of your book that I can purchase on Amazon? And where can a non-Torontonian get a copy of Take Back The Knit?
    Brenda from the Ontario London

  34. I can tell you what the bright side of all of this was. Do you want me too? It’s that you had me laughing hysterically at your post…not at you, please note. I think you made my day. I’m sure I’m not the only one. Just think: your bad day and subsiquent post gave laughter to so many people. However, I think said laughter will last me for awhile so don’t go having anymore days like that, ok?

  35. I sympathise with the Finger Pain. I once hammered my thumb trying to insert extra-large grommets into fabric and I tell you, it Feels just like those cartoon cliches Look. ( and I couldn’t do much in yoga the next day because anytime I supported myself with my hands there was searing pain.) But on the bright side, we did get a little sun today between the relentless grey am and pm rain. Did you catch it?

  36. Been reading your blog for a long time, but haven’t commented until today. I’m terribly sorry about your poor mashed finger, but I must know…. How is Mr. Washie? Are you in negotiations for continued laundering services? What are his demands to cease and desist from making the squeak that strikes fear in the hearts of all mothers with kids? I have squashed my finger in a car door and the pain was unbelievable… but a “will-go-on-strike” squeak from the washing machine? Horror movies should strike such fear….

  37. Ouch, my own finger throbs with sympathy pangs. Wishing you a speedy recovery and happy spinning. Which, by the way, I am about to delve into. I have promise of a drop spindle in my future. So that roving is of interest….

  38. As I read the first part of today’s post, I was saying to myself – “This must be invented blog-food. It cannot be that Stephanie is having another crisis-filled day.” Then I looked at the photos of your finger. Ouch! My heartfelt apologies.
    My fervent hope is that AMANDA will be the guest blogger. I am looking forward to learning more about the forthcoming orchestra tour. This will be an amazing experience for her.

  39. I don’t know….am I the only one who sees a theme here of “too much coffee?” Too much coffee is getting spilled around there on a regular basis! The arnica and R.R. were good choices. The beer was an even better one. And Margene’s advice is the best yet! (and truly, that dog owner is a MORON.) I will gaze longingly at the mittens and the shawl and the other wonderful prizes and hope they are going to loving homes. I’m sure they are! Ouch…..I’m still thinking about that finger…..ouch.. ow….owwwww~!

  40. I think that at least two beers are in order after a day like that. Remember :no peaks without the valleys.” How cliche. At least you’re alive!!!! Circ needles are much easier to use with a bad finger/hand.

  41. Don’t you just HATE that? (“that” = getting so mad you do something totally stupid that mars you for days…no, by the photos, make that WEEKS in this case)
    Speedy recovery to you. Hang in there!
    (And in what Ramada Inn was that PogoChrist taken? Was there a Jaysus-on-wheels convention and I–gasp!–missed it?)

  42. Sounds like a crawl back under the covers kind of day. Or at least one that calls for some strong drink of some kind. More yoga, well, that can come later.

  43. I’ve never had a child, so I can’t truly say, but I’ve always said that the most horrible pain in the whole world has to stubbing your baby toe really really hard. And, of course, toes and fingers are very similar. (The nastiest thing I’ve every done to a finger was cut a good 1/4″ deep into the pad with a pair of scissors–no, I don’t know how I managed that–and felt so awful afterwards that I think I actually went into shock.)

  44. And I was feeling sorry for myself because not one of my kids or grandkids sent me a Valentine (I did get one from the cat) and not one of them commented on the e-Valentine that I sent them, made by me! On the other hand, I can make your finger feel better by telling you the story of how I ran my Bernina sewing machine needle through my thumb one Thanksgiving as I was stitching napkins for the holiday table. (Martha Stewart took LESSONS from me.) The needle broke off, leaving a piece in my thumb a fact that I didn’t realize at the time. I discovered that about six months later when the scab fell off…..Anyway, sympathies!

  45. My right thumb got slammed in a car door when I was about 8. I still have a funky sort of scar pattern under the nail. I sympatize with your pain.
    Last night while grating carrots, I managed to hit the grater my right pinky, not once, not twice, but THREE times. The 3rd time produced the Small Wound That Nevertheless Wouldn’t Stop Bleeding For Hours.
    Not a finger-friendly day, yesterday.

  46. Aww, Stephanie, I’m so sorry to hear about your bad day! Here I was thinking my day wasn’t one of the best, but you really beat me to it. If the world tries to make tomorrow like this too, just take a bottle of alcoholic beverage of choice with you and return to bed until the world gets brighter…

  47. Hey Steph,
    I have the desire to commisserate… not nearly so bad, but i did have a crappy afternoon on saturday.. just to share: I went shopping because Filene’s (i’m in boston) was supposed to be having a sale. i went. i walked around picked up a couple of things and thought “this is ridiculous, these prices aren’t good!” so i went downstairs to the markdown Filene’s Basement. i found a couple of nice things.. wandered a bit trying to find what i was looking for. eventually decided on a nice shirt & tie. bought it. relized i lost in my travels, my favorite hat: one that i had knit will all sorts of remnants of hats that i had made for others. i ran throughout the 3 floors that i had traversed. twice. went to the customer service desk and tried to explain my striped hat. did one more walk through and found my hat with the help of a salesperson. finally went to the Subway to discover that my bag had a hole in it. and i had lost my tie. back to Filenes, through the entire 3 floors again, because of course, i could have dropped it anywhere while looking for my hat. eventually just took one off the rack that was the same pattern, but not the same price and walked out of the store. over 3 1/2 hours for one damned shirt and tie.
    thank goodness i wasn’t physically injured such as you and sam!!!
    i do hope that you’re doing better. every day is fresh, with no mistakes in it… yet. πŸ™‚

  48. Poor Harlot, what a crappy day! I tried to think of an optimistic way to look at it, but sometimes a crappy day is just that: a crappy day. (Ah, le mot juste!)
    Bless you for your method of restoring balance, which today may seem a singularly selfish bit of praise, as I’m the lucky recipient of Kerrie’s bee-you-tee-full shawl! (Thank you, Kerrie!)
    And bless you again for your other, perhaps unintentional, method: making us all laugh.
    Thank you from an all-too-human editor and knitter!

  49. oh my. I really hope you are doing a bit better today, your day sounded awful, but you know, maybe it was a Monday thing. Anyhow, I’m sorry that you had such a bad day. I could write you a Screech prescription, but they revoked my license. πŸ˜‰

  50. Holy Crap! Is it always the middle finger that gets it?? I camethisclose to losing the tip of my own driving finger about 15 years ago, in the middle of a temper tantrum (hey, I was 16….), managing to slam it in the sliding glass door. This works very much like a very dull guillotine; I broke the bone and required stitches to reattach from the first knuckle up. I think it was probably, aside from breaking my big toe, my most painful experience so far, and so I empathize with you greatly. Slow down, and take care of yourself, or, as my mother suggests whenever I begin to discuss the possiblities of homicide, husbands, and attics vs. woodsheds for body-stashing, “Have a cup of tea first, dear”.

  51. You are a better woman than I. I would have had a beer after the dog incident. I had an equally hideous time last week…. i think mercury might be in retrograde.

  52. Owwwwch… I once caught my finger in the slider on my minivan, being distracted talking to a friend who’d just pulled up in the parking lot; the door engaged just enough to automatically lock. I could not reach my keys, which I had just put away, with my hand in there. I got this, “Are you OK?!!” from the friend. Uh, do I look okay? Uh, could you reach my keys for me (don’t get too fresh, sir) and unlock my bleeping car for me?
    Ice. Lots of ice. So you can knit again all the faster; knitting makes everything feel better.

  53. I totally suggest giving everyone the finger today.
    Perhaps the bitchy owner as well as the hellhound should be leashed? Not the mitten!!! I would also respectfully suggest sending the hellhound over to “like” and “be excitable” with your editor. Maybe the owner can walk behind it five paces for maximum effect.

  54. No, really, I do understand the use of the possessive “your” vs. the active “you’re.”

  55. Do you think our kids learn anything from these outbursts? Except for me it is always a toe. I guess I have kicked a few things. Or gone storming off on a tirade without checking what was in my path. One of those kept re-infecting itself for 6 months, lost the nail………. Not pretty. And yep-birthing a 9 pounder was less stressful. You know-the midwives predicted 6 pounds. Something about foot size. Ya! Right! Mind you, I weigh less than (**cough**)100(**cough**) lbs normally and only weighted about 115 when she was born. NINE lbs came out of ME! And I swear seven of it was her HEAD!!!! She still has a huge head. For a girl anyway. But bang my toe into a sofa and fehgetaboutit.

  56. A friend of mine, who is a country music afficianado, regularly quotes one of his favorite songs. It says something to the effect of, “Some days you’re the windshield; some days you’re the bug.” Here’s to hoping that tomorrow you’re the bug.

  57. So were the mittens damaged when you got attacked by the mutant dog? Grounds for a lawsuit if you ask me! People are suing over much lesser crimes than a hurt Latvian mitten. I don’t think you can sue the door that attacked your finger since that sounded kind of self-inflicted to get some of us to go do your house cleaning for you. Sorry.

  58. Augh – fingers ahead of brain. Make that, “Here’s to hoping that tomorrow you’re NOT the bug!”

  59. as a mom who shut her 3 year old’s finger in the car door(luckily the door was ‘rehung’ by the ex who never did get it right so it didn’t cut the finger off)..only to shred my pinkie’s knuckle later on….i can only suggest to you that SCREECH and LOTS OF IT! followed by lots of rest!of the finger…i insisted on making strawberry jam with my shredded knuckle..thus turning 8 weeks of rest for the finger..into 16 weeks total of being casted…SCREECH SCREECH SCREECH…
    hugs..feel better soon.

  60. Kudos for only having one beer! Days like that I find myself singing Geldof’s “I Don’t Like Mondays”. Sometimes over and over again.
    Please, please, please can I have the Lincoln coral fleece? Please?

  61. Children are so easy to humiliate. A friend with several daughters used to keep them in line by threatening to appear in public (in our small town, no less) in a felted hat she had made, not very well, in a class.

  62. My finger comiserates (sp?) with yours, having had three stitches today. I sliced my pinky with the onion πŸ™

  63. bless your heart and/or finger! although your day sounded horrible, you wrote it so colorfully that it made me smile. not a smile from enjoying the glory of your human suffering, but just because you have such a way with words. btw, I recently made your cardigan baby sweater from knitty and found it so lovely and easy! thank you!

  64. k. I have to admit that I read your post when I was supposed to be doing something else, like tucking in a toddler, so I have to admit, I did some skimming after your washing machine went wonky. Then I put my daughter to bed and then I came back to finish reading, except I picked up at the picture finger link, but because I skimmed, I didn’t have the proper context for the finger link and I, of course, assumed that, as a way to manage your personal anguish, you took two pictures of a flipped bird. Which I thought was a pretty cool idea…but it wasn’t.
    I’m sorry for all of it! Good thing that bitch in the park didn’t meet up with you later in the day. You’d be nursing that injury in the hoos-gow, or however the hell you spell that.

  65. If the fingernail is a clear as it looks in the picture, you’ll heal well. If there is blood under the fingernail at the top (where I can’t really see clearly), it may need to be removed if the pain doesn’t get better (“evacuation of subungal hematoma”). Just remember, that free medical advice is worth the price.
    -another knitting doc

  66. Since everyone’s sharing stupid injuries…getting off my bicycle after work one day last summer, I saw my dreaded landlord in the driveway. Suitably distracted, I failed to lift my leg high enough to avoid catching it on the upright wires that hold my rear fender up…and managed to instead punch my calf down ONTO that blunt, rusty, 10ga wire. The best part was that it leaked subcutaneous fat for nearly a month…eeww.
    I believe I killed the pain by drinking a very cold domestic beer in a very hot shower that evening…I would also advocate a bulky bandage that you can brandish when it becomes convenient.

  67. That was a horrible day. You deserve at least two boxes of your favorite chocolates, and 3 trips to your LYS to make up for it.
    When automatic seatbelts were new, I caught my pinky finger in the groove that runs the length of the window. The seatbelt mechanism grabbed my finger, punched holes in it, and moved it to the other end of the groove. I tried pulling my finger out (and let me just tell you how stupid a move THAT was), and I ended up in the hospital with 5 stitches.
    Of course, the fun part was when the finger was healing partway but still looking pretty bad that I could threaten my office colleagues with it. No “pull my finger” jokes, please.

  68. How can this be? Stephanie should have a couple lifetimes worth of good karma just from TSF alone!
    Is it that she is taking on our bad karma? Like the girl in that old Star Trek episode who would cure an injury by taking it on herself.

  69. I guess I’m not the only person counting the days until march at this point, eh? I couldn’t bring myslef to click on the finger pictures. I’m not squeamish by any means, but I am sensitive about hand injuries. The mere thought of squishing a finger makes me cringe.

  70. Oh you poor thing! I hope this means that you have used up your bad luck for at least 6 months – and preferably much much much longer.
    Apropos Sam – a good friend from way back wouldn’t walk on the same side of the street as his mother at that age.
    Apropos banging around. It can work. I once kicked off a wooden-soled clog, meaning to bang a radiator, but sending it through the picture window above. It got rid of the anger, though. Afterwards I was just sheepish. Luckily, that same good friend’s father was an expert at creative writing, and my insurance claim was accepted.

  71. Virtual kisses to make your finger feel better. Damn, that can hurt. I think the most painful thing in the world is a stubbed pinky toe, but after the day you’d had – argh! That door sure got in the way of your finger, didn’t it?!

  72. I want to thank you publicly for giving only links to the images of the wounded finger. Which I did NOT visit. What I imagine is bad enough.
    And ALL editors speak in code. Definitely.

  73. Now, I LOVE Dogs, and normally, I’m a pretty laid back person. The dog owner was CLEARLY in the wrong, and I would have unleashed the bitchy all over her if I had been in that situation. She’s lucky she encountered you instead.

  74. sorry to hear that yesterday just simply sucked!… have a better one today!
    and a big squishy hug from Huxley and a bit of teething slabber mixed in with that…

  75. Well, I am sending a hug, a nod and an ice pack for you, virtually of course. Sending an ice pack would be a bad idea in reality!
    And I, virtually will vacuum for you. And do dishes, since that throbbing fingy will hurt too much in the dishwater.
    Pamela R. eh?
    ( I wrote Joanna P. and I would have bet my oldest child that I remembered right. Good thing it wasn’t a real bet huh?)
    Pamela R! EMAIL ME! πŸ™‚

  76. You had me laughing so hard I was crying over your poor finger–not because of your pain, but because I did the same thing a few years back, in pretty much the same spot on my finger. I didn’t loose the nail, but it did grow out with a hole in it…. I still have a scar of sorts on that finger, even though I never broke the skin. At that time I didn’t knit or spin, so I can’t tell you how it will affect either. I wish you a speedy recovery, but if mine was any indication, you’ll be spending the next couple of months growing out a nasty looking spot on your nail.

  77. Ouch! Poor finger! I don’t remember what mine felt like when I did the finger vs door thing. I was three and the entire tip of my finger including the mangled nail was dangling and hanging on with only about a 1/4 inch of skin. Mom tells me the entire Air Force base we lived on could hear me screaming. Glad I forgot how it felt but I still have the differently arranged finger to verify the experience. People kind of react strongly to how it looks and ask what happened. I tell them I had a bad nail chewing habit as a kid. πŸ™‚
    Love your writing! Good luck with that Sam Thing.

  78. Oh, you had a bad, bad day πŸ™ I’m so glad it’s OVER! I hope today is better. MUCH, MUCH better. I slammed my thumb in a desk drawer a couple months ago when I was pissed at my boss and trying to multi-task too quickly, and I know exactly the pain of which you spoke. I tried to describe it to someone and didn’t get nearly as close as you did – all I remember is the silence roaring in my head. I didn’t even gasp, there was so much pain. The good news: The throbbing will go away in another day, based on my hard-won experience. It appears that you hit the exact spot I did, too. It turned the bottom part of the nail black, and that’s gross growing out, but it doesn’t appear to have damaged the nailbed itself…in other words, I’m really hoping the wierd ridge in my nail that’s slowly moving up the nail bed doesn’t repeat itself every 4 months for the rest of my life! I hope that you are as lucky – you have certainly racked up enough karma to skip THIS trip, in my book. Hang in there, Ms. Harlot. February in Canada is almost over.

  79. What kind of beer? Dark beer I hope. At least two.
    Threaten Sam. Threaten to put a leash on her. Should work, at least to get her to walk in front of you.
    My kids know better to pretend they don’t know me. Otherwise I’ll do something really, really odd. Then again, the last time the girls were in a restaurant with me, and our food was taking to long, we used our spoons as catapults and flung sugar packets at each other. Real sugar works the best. That fake stuff is too light.

  80. Sorry to hear about your finger … OUCH, it looks sore. Careful you don’t lose your nail. πŸ™ OTOH, the colour would make be an amazing colour for a sweater. πŸ˜‰ As for Sam, don’t sweat the small stuff. She’s just being a kid … could you tell me that exact same thing when, in a few years, my kids are pulling the same THING on me. *lol* And, yes, I too would like to know what kind of beer it was. πŸ™‚

  81. oooh, so sorry…. thanks for being our pain bearer so we can continue to spin and knit… what a generous heart you have!!!

  82. I was trying to sleep off a raging “my house has no humidity” headache when my son informed me that he had no “nice” pants to wear to Sunday school, and Dad couldn’t find any either, and the bus would be here in less than 10 min. Even tho he has plenty of pants. Even tho there were pants in the dryer, in his laundry basket (which he had not emptied), and in his drawer (where he “forgot” to look). I’m not sure where he expected the pants to be. Which I told him in a voice that was probably a little too loud. After I dumped his laundry on his bed and said (holding up a pair of pants)”what about these- they look like pants to me”, and after I (again) mentioned the dryer, I pulled the pants drawer out a little too far, yanked out a pair of pants, tossed them at him, and promptly dropped the (solid, heavy, wood) drawer corner first on top of my left foot. The top of my foot looks like your finger. I’ve been gimping around for a few days, but am too embarrassed to mention that it is totally my own fault so I just gloss over it when anyone asks if I hurt my foot. (Oh nothing, just a little sore). You have my whole-hearted sympathy. Chocolate helps.

  83. Yowsa, that’s a two-Guinness finger if I ever saw one…and having gone through a partially-unanaesthetised c-section for my kid, I still say slamming my finger in a college library door trumped it for pain…
    Said kid does the Thing too and she’s 6. But she has a new twist on the Thing. Some days, it’s walking five steps behind and annoying the crap out of me because we’re late everywhere we go. Other days, it is La Directrice de l’Univers who must walk EXACTLY in front of me so closely that I can’t move unless she does. And she moves SLOWLY.
    The last time I had a day like that, I took the Guinness into the bath with a cheesy magazine, a bag of potato chips, AND a bar of Poulain 1875 Dark. You do what you gotta do. Bisoux, get better soon πŸ™‚

  84. Stephanie,
    So sorry about your horrible awful day. Looks like the finger needs the TLC of an RN/MD the blood pooled behind the nail might need to be drained. If the poor digit starts to throb like the dickens it is time to see a medical professional. I waited until way past midnight (too late to see the doc in a box) and ended up tearing the nail off my finger to stop the pain. As bad as that sounds it did feel better.
    As to Sam’s walking 5 steps behind you, the good news is that it will pass. The bad news is that it will take about 10 years or graduation from college. We took our children to Paris from the states and there was no convincing my (then) 15 year old son no one he knew would see him with his impossibly uncool parents. He spent the entire trip 5 steps ahead of us laughing at out fractured french and generally being a real PIA. He is almost 22 and just leaving that phase. Good luck!
    Holly in CT

  85. Ohhhh, I’m so sorry!!!! Owwwwie. I hurt my finger in a similar way 9 years ago, and I swear that while reading your story, my finger had some sympathy pain for you.
    I lost my fingernail twice within 6 months, and now live with a deformed right index nail. The first time, I was holding up a window I was cleaning with my chest (being well-endowed, I thought this would work…) and the window slipped and slammed down on my finger. I didn’t poke a hole in my nail to relieve the pressure, and 3 days later, my finger exploded when I bumped it on a countertop. (I recommend relieving pressure!) 6 months later,when my nail had finally grown back, I locked my finger in my hubby’s truck door. (He was still inside saying “huh? I can’t hear you.”) While I was crying and pounding the glass, yelling for him to open the door. It bled, but not because it was cut. The blood actually came out thru my pores. I lost my fingernail both times.
    Seeing your finger, I don’t have much hope for your fingernail…. My 4 year old saw your pictures just now, and she said she is going to pray to Jesus for Him to heal your finger. Me too. Take Care!!! (oh, and she suggests getting someone to kiss it to start the whole healing process)

  86. steph – thanks for the well wishes-
    i am sorry you had such an awful day the other day.
    ive had days like that… fortunately none of them recently.
    also found out in the pregnancy i am no further along then i was last week and they are waiting til next week to schedule an induction.
    anyway i sympathize/empathize? with the finger – when i was 3 my dad shut my finger in the locked car door. I am now 27 and it still doesnt grow in right and every once in awhile becomes infected again because i get an ingrown nail… fun… lots of warm salt water to soak the finger in will help…
    it doesnt look like yours will do what mine did.

  87. Steph.. oh my god you poor thing!!! lots and lots of cyber hugs! i agree too Sam should be 5 paces in front… but in addition you are a WONDERFUL WRITER! FANTASTIC, SPECTACULAR!! CREATIVE, STUNNING and a great knitter to boot! i wish you all the best with trying to knit.. but i also advocate getting dinner in and delegating the chores to other! πŸ™‚ and of course lots of dark Becks and CHOCOLATE ! πŸ™‚ hugs again Karola

  88. Oh my gosh, woman! I haven’t laughed that hard in a very, very long time! Sorry to laugh at your horrible day, but you know your writing is funny. You have to know that.
    So sorry. I hope today is much, much better. My 3 year old walks like that too. It drives me nuts. She doesn’t catch up when I stop though. She stops too. This doesn’t keep her from calling out to me to wait. I don’t get it. I’ve started calling out, ” little ducks! Little ducks!” and my three little ones fall in line behind me and quack. It seems to be the safest way to cross parking lots, because they are at least in a line as opposed to displaying anarchy and running in all directions with me in the middle yelling threats.

  89. Hello all! I am Stephanie’s editor, and I have a correction to make: it was only because of the dog that she thought I thought her work sucked. I think her stuff is absolutely freakin’ WONDERFUL and I love working on it. She makes me snort tea all over my monitor. I did suggest that maybe one particular section overlapped another section and maybe a little tightening up is in order, just an itty-bitty cut or two. I am so sorry about the finger. Just don’t raise it in my direction.
    co-editor, KnitLit 1, 2, and 3, and abjectly inadquate knitter, at least by Stephanie’s standards
    P.s. ummm… Stephanie, it’s “Arctic”, not “Artic”
    (ducking and running)

  90. This day must have had bad Karma worldwide.
    I sneezed one of those ginormous double sneezes where you shut your eyes and wrench the steering wheel of your car. I opened my eyes just in time to see the crash as my car hit a parked one.
    Both cars had to be towed and my pride and joy baby car looks like being in car hospital for a very long and expensive time.
    Oh.. and I’m still recovering from where my dear partner dropped the trailer towbar on top of my foot a month ago. Try a black an blue swollen foot which still sports a huge lump on top.
    Hope you are knittable again soon!
    Gillian (Geelong Australia)

  91. Ouch! Why oh why did I have to look at the picture? My husband dropped a can on his big toe months ago. The nail turned black and finally fell off and is in the process of VERY slowly growing back in. I have managed to avoid looking at that for months yet I choose to look at your slammed finger picture? Now I need therapy. πŸ™‚

  92. Ouch ouch ouch! I feel your pain, remember, I smashed my right pointer finger in the car door a few months ago. Amazing how much you actually NEED those fingers! Be careful!

  93. Oh man…that just makes those little tears just squirt right straight out of your eyes, it hurts so bad. Just remember, all bleeding eventually stops. Oh no, that’s the wrong rule…I’ll think of the right one eventually…

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