Today be Talk like a pirate day, and as we knitters steal booty from muggles whenever we can, today be ripped off for knittin like pirates. After all. A knittin needle be not so very different from a sword, and a stitch or two may be dispatched as swiftly as scurvy dogs on the poop deck.

I give ye the followin list.

De Knit like a pirate webpage. It’s got a free pattern for a fancy hat. You should make a whack of them for all yer pirate friends. (Don’t forget to hold the knife in yer teeth. It’s all about yer look and enemy pirate preparedness.)

Arrrgyle2 1

Arrgggyles. (You know I can’t resist it. If the book backs it’s filthy words of doom of of me desktop for even a moment today, then these be on my needles.) I stole the button from Julia’s Blog and you can steal if from mine. Providing you save it to yer own server. I hates bandwidth thieves. Cuts into the yarn money and makes me want to keel-haul the perpetrators.

Pirate Julia’s got a wee felted hat for pirates in trainin. (She’s a fine pirate lass.)

Avast ye! Pirates are no woosies, but dey loose body heat out of the tops of they heads in any case. Make one a We Call Them Pirates hat.

The Yarn Pirate Etsy shop. Very piratey. Got a flag an everything.

A crochet pirate. We don’t care for crochet so much. (Those hooks be useless as weapons) but I’m amused by the dollie of Jack the pirate anyhows. Arrrrr.

Yarn Pirate book. We loves it and we don’t care who knows we can read and write. Make X’s in it if you never got learnin. I be writing down the names of all the yarns that betrayed me, if I gets a book. Those ones be sorry when I write their names, the grog-snarfing privateers.

Go knit like pirates and don’t be botherin me for nothing else today. I’m writing a book.

(PS. NYC was great. )

111 thoughts on “Arrgghh.

  1. My favourite comic:
    The Wheel of Fortune set. Two normal contestants are glaring impatiently at the third contestant, a pirate, while the host exclaims, “For the last time, ‘R’ is already on the board!”

  2. Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum. Matey, I be packin’ fer a journey and will have to leave me stash in that dead man’s chest with 16 men sittin’ on it. ARRRRR!

  3. ARR! Ye makes me want to go pillagin for yarn and spirits… and really bad eggs – drink up me hearties YO HO!

  4. And ye not be yarn runnin’ down the mighty Mississippi to the wilds of Iowa anytime soon, aurgh, that blows… I best go and fondle me cashmere, wax me Brittanys, and hunt up some rum.

  5. OK- not a pirate. But I am a NY’er who couldn’t make it into The City- why no pix? Not enuf grog? πŸ™‚ Not enuf knitters? Not enuf groggy knitters? But I digress…

  6. Shiver me timbers, Matey, ye missed the connection between crochet and pirates… why de ye think ye calls him Captain Hook?

  7. HA! I’m sure me bosses at the hospital will love me speaking all crazy like. And the children repeating everything I say.
    Great to see you this weekend. Sorry you had to leave…you did leave, right? You joke about staying in Brooklyn but to us it’s just a broken promise πŸ˜‰

  8. Arrrrrrgh! I be swabbin’ the poop-deck (Livin’ Room) this day, searchin’ fer buried treasure (WIP). ‘Tis a sad day, all the flotsam and jetsam piled up to obscure me favourite knittin’ spot. Maybe by tonight, with a lot of cursin’ and sweatin’ and such, I will get the garbage heaved overboard, and me Arrrgyles started, to boot! Many thanks, me hearty, for the button!
    Time for Rum, yo ho! (It’s five o’clock somewhere!)

  9. Arrggghhh! Me can’t be knittin’ today, on account of me sprainin’ me thumb while tryin’ out a new needle ta day before. Me’ll take some booty instead ta add ta me stash. *credit card runs in terror from Dread Pirate Shel*

  10. Arrrrg, it be time t’ run up ta colors! Me crew (family) and me gots us a skull ‘n’ crossbones flag that we run up ta flagpole. Avast and belay! Shiver me timbers! Watch out below!

  11. Aye me hearties! Ye be cletterin yer needles like a fine bosun or ye be swabbin the poop deck till the last bell rings!
    This master of the waves loves the Arrrrgyles! She’ll be addin ’em to her vast treasure of precious patterns stashed in the fo’cs’le (give or take an apostrophe).

  12. I’m not even going to try to write like a pirate, but I may try to make some Arrrrgyles before September 19 rolls around again. My mom and MIL both made some argyles back in the day.

  13. Damn I thought I was going to be the only knit blogger to know about talk like a pirate day but no there you are stealing my thunder;)
    I love the knit like a pirate site, I didn’t know about that!
    Good seeing you on Sunday!

  14. avast! the scurvy scallawags of me office be throwin’ a grand celebration today in the name of all things piratical! glad to see the good tidings be spreadin’ throughout the land-lubbers. p.s. i know you’re all jealous of our cardboard Cap’n Jack Sparrow cutout! (perhaps i be makin’ a special lys appearance this baumy evening for some black and white wools…

  15. I Have been looking forward to this day all year. I have a whole Gaggle of peeps who will be talking like a Pirate today.
    Arrrrrrrrrrr Matey, go get some knitting done for me. Or I’ll be having Ye walk the plank!

  16. Let’s dispense with the pirate stuff for a second and admit what we really want. Make Out With Johnny Depp Day!!!
    Arrrr, I wouldn’t kick him out of me bunk fer eatin’ crackarrrs! He’s a right bonny lad.

  17. Arrrgh! I just finished the We Call Them Pirates hat, and am glad to hear about more pirate related knitting projects. Although if anyone else demands a hat from me, particularly in very large head sizes, they’re walking the plank.

  18. Aaarrrgggghhhh! Dave Barry and Ridley Pierson (of Peter and the Starcatchers fame) are making their second appearance on International Talk Like a Pirate Day at Third Place Books in Seattle. Thanks for reminding me Steph! They draw nearly as big a crowd as you do……but not quite! Aaaarrrrggggghhhh!

  19. hey HAAARRRlot! Here in Salem, MA, dere be tons o’ scurvy pirates about. We even has a museum about ’em. Thanks for the Arrrgyle link and other piraty swag–jes the thing for a classy lady pirate likes meself to be sportin’ about town.
    Man, that’s exhasuting.

  20. Crochet hooks can indeed be used as a weapon. My sister once accidentally stabbed by cousin with a got stuck in her leg! So you see, we crocheters aren’t that bad! My husband wants a knit sweater, any ideas on a nice looking easy pattern for a beginner?

  21. Yes, NYC is wonderful..
    You need a NYC based publisher, and you need to come here more often!
    you also need to come see the outer boroughs–(besides the airport) and to attend a meeting of the Big Apple Knitting Guild, or check out the LYS in Brooklyn –we’ll buy your first a metro card (after that you’re on your own) It took me less time (48 minutes) to come twice the distance!
    and it only cost $2 (even with the difference between US/Canadian dollars, that’s still cheap!) and going home, i met up with someone who was also at the signing-(book in hand!) and talked knitting for half the ride home.
    FYI, you don’t have to hide your beer (unless you just want to be discrete) UNLESS its Open.. (NYC prohibits carrying round open bottles. The standard trick of ‘hiding an open bottle’ in a brown paper bag – works most of the time.
    I’ll already knew Queens Quay was Queen’s “KEY”, you’ll have to remember, only out of towners call it “avenue of the americas” NYers know it as 6th Avenue.
    next time, metro card in hand, you can have your first lesson about the IRT, IND, and BMT* (the secret knowledge of which, seperates real NY’s from transplanted NYer wanna be’s)
    *IRT, IND, and BMT are the archaic terms used for NYC subways.
    armed with the knowledge of the avenues and subways, you can be a NYer–It’s a very warm and friendly place. (my home town, you know!)

  22. Hmm…funny…my knitting often makes me talk like a pirate: ARGH! There was supposed to be a decrease here? ARGH! Who took my measuring tape? ARRRRRRRGH! How did this lace-weight get so tangled? ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!! I’m gonna keel-haul the lubber who used me buried treasure for ‘finger weaving’!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    So I guess every day is TLAP day around the old Den… πŸ˜‰

  23. I’d beg to differ about crochet hooks as weapons, I have a collection of metal size 12, also known as 1 mm (i probably have smaller ones somewhere. No, I generally don’t use them. My eyes aren’t that good). They hurt like anything if you sit or step on them.
    Saturday night was fun, thank you!
    I did indeed finish mum’s birthday gift before giving it to her [good husband drove which let me knit]. πŸ™‚ I even wove in all the ends! [which was a first, i generally leave them for her, nice daughter that i am]

  24. I got an email this morning about Talk Like a Pirate day and thought my friend made it up. Who knew? Thanks for all the links. I LOVE the crocheted doll. Totally crazy.
    It was fun meeting you at Knit Out. I couldn’t stay long enough to go to Knitty City. I live on Long Island. It look me close to 2 hrs to get to Union Square and I would have gotten home in the wee hours of the morning if I’d stayed all day.
    Waiting for pictures anyway! ta-ta πŸ™‚

  25. Arrr, matey, this be Cap’n Aetheflaed the Drunk Toe here (according to the pirate name generator) – fitting, no?
    I’s already got me one pirate hat done an’ another on the sticks, arrrr!
    We taught the kid well of TLAP day – he asked for breakfast: “what crawled out of the bunghole, mum?”
    My boy.

  26. ARrr! Ye pirate dolly fans out there be pleased to know that the doll pattern is available on the Interweave Crochet site (
    He be called the Dread Pirate Sam, but methinks he bears a strikin’ resemblance to ye cutie J. Depp.
    If you whittled down a bamboo crochet hook, you could sew it to his sleeve and then, indeed, a crochet hook would be quite the weapon!
    ARRRrr! πŸ™‚

  27. I am doing the “We call them Pirates” hat…it is a hoot…oh, uh…I mean Arrrr, tis a fine hat it tis! Highly recomend it!…back to work for us all!

  28. It was totally fantastic to see you in NYC, sorry about the heat!
    Thanks so much for allowing us to interview you for the video podcast! We’ll keep you updated when we post it.

  29. Due to family obligatio. . . fun…I had to miss both the Knit Out and *the* knitting event of the year at Knitty City. However, yesterday at KC, I heard all about how funny and charming you were the previous evening. I was so distraught about missing this, that only yarn (and lots of it) consoled me.

  30. i had to work and missed you in nyc, but cannot wait to see the pictures! when your next book comes out i will really need to be there!

  31. Today be me music theory class, and me professor knew when he saw me with a scarf ’round me head, so whenever we had an ARRRRRGHmented (augmented) interval he called on me. Twas very exciting matey. I plan on askin’ me chemistry prof about the radioactive decay of ARRRRRRRRGHgon… or ARRRRRRsenic….. or CAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRbon…..

  32. I noticed how great your hair looked at the Knit out. Curly without being frizzy. I think Thumper used his extreeme baby cuteness on you to work some magic.
    Wouldn’t Thumper make a great little pirate?

  33. Argggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh. Did your computer talk to my computer and tell it to die?
    Well it DID.
    I’m on my ancient one while the laptop gets fixed.
    Where is Flat Scout!?!? I’m going to file a missin person’s report soon…. πŸ˜‰

  34. Arr. We NYC pie-rats did the poor matey in I thinks. We made you walk the plank we did. Happy to see ye made it back to yer land-lubbing home.

  35. Yarr, methinks this be a most fitting occasion for a rousing chorus of Barrett’s Privateers. Perhaps loaded to the gunwales on Water Street, or else the Lower Deck?

  36. ARGH, matey!! Today be the day for me presentin on Expressive Language Delay. Won’t the mateys of my class think it all loverly!! Where’s me rum???

  37. Avast, me hearty – the tricorn is keepin’ me head warm in the unseasonal cool. Gotta knit me some arrrrgyle socks, I do. Good piratin’ to ye, and finish the darn book already.

  38. good, stephie, we did not totally exhaust you. thank you for your sweetness, patience–qualities much needed in the big apple. finally posted about your excellent visit to knitty city, longest one ever. and i didn’t even quote you on our awful honking vehicles. yours proudly wearing KWB button; hope the sock as condom amulet held up on your trip home, naomi

  39. Arr, ye best be followin’ dem links put up by the Harlot. She be knowin’ a bonnie pattern when she see ‘un.
    Grateful to ye, lass, fer offerin’ up a hearty laff. Arr!

  40. Although it may come as a suprise to you, but even if you put up flyers in your school the day before, and let everyone know about today, middle schoolers don’t care.
    Tis sad.

  41. I’ma figurin’ that pirate cap and matching mittens might make it onto me holiday knit list. Thems some fine articles.

  42. Arrrrrr! We’re liftin’ the mugs o’ (root) beer here as it’s talk like a pirate day and the little pirate’s seventh birthday. I’ll have to knit him some of those pirate accessories for next year.

  43. Arrrgh, matey, me didn’t know Talk Like a Pirate Day was so soon. (Though that would explain me dream about pirates last night.) Them hooks on spindles be much more dangerous weaponry than the unmighty crochet hook. Arrrrrrrr!

  44. I wonder if that’s why on last night’s Wife Swap (don’t judge me, I was in a hospital waiting room) there was a family who lived as pirates, practicing “Piratitude.” She was Mad Sally and her husband was Old Chumbucket, which made it super funny when the anal-compulsive, mega-tidy family made her so sick she wanted upchuck into the chumbucket. Ick.

  45. You may already know this, but just in case you didn’t, a search of your name on turned up a book to be released on March 30, 2007 and is available for pre-order. Yeah!!! Only 192 days to go!
    Sorry for the lack of pirate lingo…I’ll try to practice before next year.

  46. Avast, ye harloty knitters! What a fittin’ name fer a bunch o’ needle-flashin’ wenches *that* be! Mad Wench Monica, the Fashionably Late here, hailin’ fellow pointy-stick wieldin’ viragos at a latitude and longitude only a short haul from the home port of the gents who created TLAPD. I and me co-masters – Pirate Queen Lois, Scourge of the Caribbean, and Grace, the Pure(ly Lustful) – salute the Harlot for spreadin’ the word o’ TLAPD, and helpin’ celebrate with true knitterly pirattitude!
    Arr…methinks someone needs to come up wi’ a knitted bag for me bottle of rum. The lads of our crew keep searchin’ us most thoroughly – they say for the rum, though I has me doubts – and for a bunch o’ dastardly brigands with noses that can smell booty hidden under a barrel of pickled herring and a bucket of stale slumgullion, they take an awfu’ long time about it. Methinks they need some pointers. Like a bag obviously holding the rum. Although I must admit, all our lads suspiciously look like a lot of them handsome, rascally actor fellers on lots o’ them new-fangled tee-vee shows they have betimes, so we really don’t mind the gropin’. Sometimes I do wonder about the lads, I really do. But at least they ain’t gropin’ the ship’s goat!
    Relentlessly yours,
    Mad Wench Monica, etc., etc.
    Co-Master, Pirate Ship The Siren’s Revenge
    Somewhere in the general area between the Pacific and this hamlet called Portland, a scurvy town well-known for its shanghaiing ways. (Navigation never were me strong point.)

  47. I woke the kids this morning by bellowing, “Avast, ye scurvy bilge-rats! All hands on deck! Get yerselves out of yer bunks and into yer breeches quick-like or there’s no grog for ye. The mini-van sets sail at 7:45 and ye’ll be walking the plank to school if ye miss the tide.”
    The 13 year old daughter said, (dripping with sarcasm) “Aye, aye, Cap’n.” The 10 year old son refused to rise till he was reminded that he owns a t-shirt with Jolly Rogers all over it that would be perfect.
    On the drive to school, I kept amusing the car pool (or at least myself) with pirate jokes. What’s a pirates favorite kind of movie? The ones that are rated “ARRRRR!” What kind of knitting does a pirate do? He makes ARRRgyle socks!
    Ye probably know that pirate for “yes” is “yar.” Did ye savvy that pirate for “no” is “de-blar?” Ye can say “maybe” using “yar-de-blar.”
    Oddly enough, it be also International Butterscotch Pudding Day. Dinner is likely to be odd tonight what with the grog and the pudding…..

  48. I’m scared of knitting arrrrrrgyle socks, but got some work done on my latest sweater during your q&a at Kniity City. Glad you came to NYC!- does this mean that when the next book comes out(192 days, wow) we won’t have to rek out to the wilds of NJ to get ours signed?! Not that they weren’t lovely at the Rutherford library…

  49. Argh, me matey of scurvy knittin’ affairs! It was a wee blessing to read yer bloggin’ on that thar Los Altos pillage and plunder. Twas a bit o’ good times that could ne’er improve without a bit o’ the grog.
    I be castin’ on the We Call Them Pirates Mittens. Challenge meself to a bit o’ the old Fair Isle.

  50. “O the year was 1778
    How I wish I was in Sherbrooke now
    A letter of marque came from the king
    To the scummiest vessel I’ve ever seen
    God damn them all
    I was told we’d cruise the seas for American gold
    We’d fire no guns, shed no tears
    Now I’m a broken man on a Halifax pier,
    The last of Barrett’s Privateers…”
    —Barrett’s Privateers—Stan Rogers—
    “… a pirate, a pirate, a pirate says AARRR!”

  51. i just finished crocheting a pair of Annie’s Attic cowboy boots for my grandchile on the way exceptin’
    i put on a coupla glow in the dark skull faces.

  52. Argh to ye too, me matie. It was in fact the pirate talk itself that first attracted me mate ‘n me t’ each other and this yar be our first Talk Like A Pirate holiday t’gether … argh. Happy am I t’ know other knitters be pirates as well. Avast ye yarn wench, have a good one!

  53. My son, who is very unsure about the concept of ‘knitting blog’, clearly he hasn’t yet read you dear Knitting Goddess, nevertheless is grateful to know via your post today that it is ‘talk like a pirate day’. Good thing his wife has a sense of humour.

  54. thats culturally insensitive to make fun of pirates. my ancesestors were pirates i have pirate blood.
    i’m totally kidding! that post was hilarious. did you check through the projects? that poor kid in the gunner’s cap. he doesnt have a chance matey! aaarrr….

  55. YARR!! Avast, Harlot! I do be stitchin’ sailcloth t’gither fer a fine lady’s dress fer a young lass t’day. Me knittin’ do be sailin’ slow – ’tis time to hoist the mainsail and find a fair wind t’carry me through the doldrums. Wi’ me first mate out t’get the booty, Cap’n Jess is left ter swab the deck.
    A bit of rum an’ some pointy sticks an’ the ol’ cap’n will be ship-shape and bristol fashion.

  56. I am so making the ARRGYLE socks for my boyfriend. XD And then for myself, because he probably won’t appreciate them as much as I will, and go, “I’m dorky, I only wear white socks. Wtf is up with these?”
    It’ll be great.

  57. shiver me timbers matey soo you don’t care for the crocheting pirates arrrrrrrr
    I just gots one thing to say to that maty
    CAPATIN HOOK mean dude matey mean dude.
    fear the hook you land luber you arrrr

  58. aye, ‘twon’t be long before I create a drawing of a TRUE yarrrrrn pirate–complete with crochet hook hand and knittin’ needle sword, arrr.
    To celebrate, today me hearty honey and I went for a showin’ o’ Dead Man’s Chest. ‘Twas a fine time indeed.

  59. Arrr, I crave piratey argyles. I love argyle. My friend ALex says I like lawyer socks. Oh well.
    Apropos of nothing, dear Harlot, I just wanted you to know that your blog and how much alleged fun you seem to have knitting has made me knit a sweater. I say alleged fun because this is one of the more boring things I have done and it’s taking freakin’ forever. But I can’t stop myself! So I’m, like, the prisoner in the hold of the pirate ship of knitting. (There, I pretended like it was relevant.)

  60. HeeHee, I mean – ARRRRR!!! I also blogged about this yesterday, tho not on my Knitblog. Me wee wench wore a Skull & Crossbones tattoo for the day in honor of TLAP Day, and we had a Jolly Good Time, we did!

  61. Just wanted to stop by and say that it was nice to meet you this weekend! Thanks for signing my books and for listening to me natter on about drunken bocce in Brooklyn. πŸ™‚

  62. Indeed it may be talk like a pirate day, but I believe that someone has happened upon the Halloween candy aisle. I fell prey to that aisle and left with Reese’s Peanut Butter Pumpkins. I was almost talking like a pirate after all that candy.

  63. Are you ever going to come to Colorado? Have you been here, and some how I missed it? We are waiting!!! Love the blog, adore the books!!!

  64. .:facepalm:.
    Our SNB had a KLAP night last night (much fun, schmancy costumes, and more drinking than knitting actually…) and I didn’t even THINK to Google the phrase. Thanks for the heads-up, Harlot.

  65. That’s funny, because the other day on my blog it was “talk like the Harlot” day. Well, it was “talk like famous knitting personalities” day. Yes, you were impersonated. Avast!

  66. I’ve just been staying at home waiting for something to happen, but I don’t care. Basically nothing seems worth thinking about. I can’t be bothered with anything recently.

  67. I just don’t have much to say recently. Such is life. I’ve basically been doing nothing. Basically nothing seems worth bothering with. Oh well.

  68. I’ve just been hanging out not getting anything done. What can I say? I’ve basically been doing nothing worth mentioning, but pfft. Not that it matters. Pretty much nothing exciting happening to speak of. I haven’t been up to much these days.

  69. Not much on my mind lately. My life’s been completely boring these days. I’ve just been hanging out not getting anything done. So it goes.

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