Hand of fury

When I got the latest STR sock club package I was heading out for camping. I made a snap decision, wound the yarn and boogied out the door. It wasn’t until I was actually knitting it in the car that I noticed that the pattern called for some things I didn’t have with me (I improvised) and wanted me to do something.

I pondered this something for a little bit in the car, and at the campsite. First you knit the cuff of the sock, then you did this “something” then you carried on and finished the sock. What was this something I was supposed to do to the cuff and why do I think it’s so funny now? (Now that I have skeined and dried and rewound the yarn?)

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Wet block it.

Seriously. Do you suppose an overturned canoe and full immersion in the French River for 30 minutes counts?

I guess that’s what I get for sitting around a campsite reading the instruction and saying “I really don’t want to get this sock wet…” and scoffing. “Can’t be that important. I’ll keep knitting and I’ll block it when I get home.”

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In retrospect, I imagine the knitting goddess somewhere tossing her hair with fury that I am ignoring a pattern again, and then waving her hand to overturn my canoe while screeching “I SAID WET BLOCK THE CUFF”.

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133 thoughts on “Hand of fury

  1. What do you want, big red letters in the sky saying, “DO THIS” ?
    (And please let the record reflect that the Sqirrel Deterrent System was the brainchild of Rams alone. I merely offered to hold it down.)

  2. snickering at the mental picture of the knitting goddess dumping you into the river just to make sure the sock got wet blocked. I keep seeing two fingers reaching under the canoe and giving a quick flip.

  3. Well, there’s wet-blocking, and then there’s wet-blocking with the addition of algae, fish, and other wildlife. Just think of it as adding nutrients to your socks!

  4. That Knitting Goddess must be easily amused. I had just uttered out loud how beautifully a pattern was shaping up when the doorbell rang, my poodle leapt across my work–catching his foot in it– and unraveled it as he went to see who was at the front door!

  5. So pretty!
    But, yes, I think this means you need to follow the directions, to avoid angering the Knitting Goddess.

  6. Thanks for the note and hooray for blogging to help me decide whether or not to do the pattern “as designed”. I, however, expect to take a more normal path for the wet blocking. The socks look great so far and I’m glad the yarn made it through!

  7. Ah, Irony. Husband of Knitting Goddess, no doubt. I can hear the dinner conversation – “What? She didn’t listen to the instructions? No problem, honey, I can take care of that for you…”

  8. Almost makes me glad I’m not to the point that I can follow patterns without getting a migraine headsplitter… Although, that is def. good for a laugh at the poor sock’s expense.

  9. Bwahahaha! Man, I can just see her, hair-tossing and all, planning to make wet blocking happen come hell or (sorry) high water.

  10. Perhaps the problem was in not following through on the directions. We read about the “wet”, but no blocking. Ah, all of the directions. It’s like the recipe that is deceptively continued on the next page and doesn’t make itself apparent until the dinner guests are ringing the doorbell.

  11. Ohhhh She (The Knitting Goddess) can be such a bitch sometimes!!! But ya gotta admit, she does have a wicked sense of humor!!! The sock and colorway is lovely….tee hee…thanks for the giggle.

  12. Lori’s nicer than I am. She pictures the Knitting Goddess putting two fingers under your canoe and flipping it. I figured she flipped you off with just one.

  13. Why do you need to wet block the cuff? Is the sock going to have to be hand-washed (to preserve the lace pattern?)?
    I’m assuming it’s the light or medium weight STR…which is washable, no?
    I just don’t understand why it would have to be wet-blocked WHILE you’re knitting the sock.

  14. The Knitting Goddess and Mother Nature are sisters. I think you got double-teamed. Are you going to tell Joe? I wouldn’t, since he regarded it as an adventure.
    Isn’t 30 minutes a bit long for the wet blocking? Well, it did have to get around the dry sack. {snort!}

  15. I’m glad the yarn survived, and sorry about the Yarn Goddess’s revenge…. but is there a reason to wet block the cuff before you finish the sock??? Just wondering if there was a reason that became clear after you righted the canoe….. seriously! samm

  16. Very pretty cuff.
    Could you use DPNs as impromptu blocking wires. You were a bit short of those by that point, weren’t you? Campfire skewers? Peeled birch switches? Were there birches there?
    By the way, next time I go to one of my husband’s family reunions on Go Home Lake near Georgian Bay, do I need to watch out for some kind of bear that can actual gore someone? Or are the horned bears more isolated in their territory?

  17. How can there be so many posts already when My Yahoo clearly says it was posted ONE minute ago? Geesh.
    Thank you, Stephanie, for expanding my sock knowledge. Please don’t do it that way again!

  18. I am laughing so hard there are tears streaming down my face. Rule #1: Don’t. Screw. With. The. Knitting. Goddess!!!
    That sock sure is pretty anyway …

  19. Well, that should about do it! Too funny!
    Looks beautiful though – i love the lace pattern and the color!

  20. Too, too funny! Despite the dunking and enforced wet blocking (which you ignored), it sounds like you had a great time. And as usual, the sock looks great.

  21. Those direction deities are tough. I recently ran afoul of one myself when trying to replace ink in my printer (no, don’t ask). I was glad to see KarenJoSeattle ask about the horned bears, though,as I was prepared to tackle my best Canadian pal on this one when I see him next month ….

  22. Yes, but did the knitting goddess have to wet-block you, your camera, and Joe also?? Gee, when you cross the knitting goddess she does more than get even, she gets ahead.

  23. What a great story of Knitting Goddess revenge! However … the sock pattern reminds me a bit of the Old Shale Two Yarn sock pattern from Stitches of Violet. I’m finishing up a pair now, and have probably made 6 or so pairs of these socks (my favorite way of using up extra yarn), and it never occurred to me to block the folded-down cuff. (neither did the directions call for such blocking) And your pre-frogged sock looked great. So, I’m wondering, are you seeing a dramatic difference post-blocking?

  24. I still think you got dunked purely out of squirrel vengence… you denied a city squirrel your wool and he sent out the squirrel equivalent of the bat signal… next thing you know: a knitter and a knitter enabler (joe) are arse over teakettle in the French River.
    I’ve been tipped in the rapids, myself… it sucks… and thank goddess for helmets!

  25. We are all truly grateful that you did not try that pattern while flying over the Great Lakes…

  26. Love the sock! Love the yarn! And I’d probably be tempted to ignore that instruction too (even tho I know there’s probably a good reason for it – just like ironing fabric before cutting a pattern out).

  27. Yes, that is exactly what you get for thinking that. Thank you for the laugh – we’re packing to move and believe me – I needed that chuckle… even though it did come at your expense ;-))

  28. Hmm, I don’t know, I think you might be onto something here Steph. Maybe we could start a canoeing company just for knitters, and they could bring their unblocked objects for a good dunking. Then you could setup a top notch blocking station at the Hilton Island and have a drying party. Just think of all the lace shawls and sweaters bobbing up and down the river…

  29. Wow…what a pretty pretty sock. Heck of a wetblocking though, but I guess it ‘set’the cuff or something? And grand grand story. I could just smell & feel the clear air in the river photos. Beautiful.

  30. At least it’s a lovely pattern and in such beautiful colors. Might make you mind the reknitting slightly less. I lust after STR sock club membership so much at times…*sigh*

  31. listen to the yarn. very pretty … maybe one day i’ll score str… possibly the same day i properly read a pattern the first (50) time(s).

  32. At least you were not picking the NASTIEST grubs off your knitting while camping. That is what I was doing. The dog then ATE the nasty grub. EEEwww

  33. Can you imagine the horror of your house flooding if you had decided not to wet block the socks and you had been at home? You know it would have happened!

  34. Does Joe plan to read all knitting instructions prior to future canoe trips? Or (since you said he likes that kind of adventure) was he in cahoots with the STR pattern so you could all go for a swim? Glad you all survived and had such a great camp site.

  35. So are you planning another canoe trip around the same time as the second cuff is done? If not you might plan for unexpected flooding, an “accidental” trip into a full bathtub, a lawn sprinkler gone amok, etc. Best to start looking out for any other possible water related mishaps now!

  36. Sooooo, what did they say at Blue Moon when you called them up to tell them about this? Are did they simply start playing the theme from The Twilight Zone?

  37. Blame… I might have been tempted to blame the menfolk, or the wind. But sure, the KG seems the most likely culprit. Was she the one that directed me to knit a sleeve with the wrong size needles yesterday, after I had already ripped it out and thought I had switched my KP size? See, I thought that was my daughter interrupting me. That KG is a busy gal..:*”*:..

  38. Knitting godess always get you in the end ! I am wondering why it has to be wet blocked while still in progress. thanks for the laugh

  39. ::massive snickering:: That’s one determined goddess! But really, I think she went a bit far. Unless the directions included a note to agitate the cuff for 30 minutes!

  40. May I ask, then, that when you and I are on our car trip next month, you Very Carefully and Thoughtfully Follow Whatever Directions the Pattern Offers. Please.

  41. So, I guess you’ll be wet blocking the second sock, eh?
    I kind of like Adam’s idea. I have a six-foot long lace wrap that needs blocking, and don’t know when that will happen. If we could just send the to-be-blocked objects out in their own canoe and retrieve them with nets downriver, it would be brilliant.
    Your “Houston” stop will actually be in Spring, which is where I went to high school! I’ve been telling my mother she needs to go, since it’s so close to home.

  42. That Knitting Goddess….I think you’re lucky you got away with only the sacrifice of a single DPN.
    I do wish she’d be a little gentler with her guidings.

  43. I’ve been looking for a cuffed sock pattern. How can I purchase it? I went to the STR site, but didn’t see the pattern for sale.

  44. Hah! Hell hath no fury than a knitting goddess scorned & ignored.
    I chose to steam block mine. Love the yarn, love the pattern, the 2 together are growing on me.

  45. Oh, Steph, that is TOO FUNNY. I didn’t recognize the yarn at first in your post about capsizing (haven’t wound mine yet) but I had read the pattern about the blocking.
    It’s enough to make me re-think my athiest-heathen leanings and admit it – there is a God and she’s a knitter!
    Still laughing, and considering if I ever go canoeing again I’ll need a pelican case…

  46. Now that I’ve gotten my breath back and stopped the hysterical cackling — I saw the wet part, we all got the wet part, but just where and how did you block it while at the campsite? Because uh, if you didn’t block, you still might have a vengeful Knitting Goddess after you . . .

  47. And here I thought on the first read-through that the whole incident could be attributed to “Over-Confident Male Canoe Partner” plus unexpected wind issues…have you already admitted to Joe that you might have directly (though unintentionally) been the cause of his extra dose of Big Fun?? (Maybe better not–he’ll be wanting to plant unblocked socks in the canoes of his other canoeing buddies as a Big Fun Joke…) =)

  48. Y’know, it sounds almost as if it’s yer own famn dault, don’t it?
    It also makes me realize that the next time I tempt fate in the guise of the omnipotent Knitting Goddess, I won’t ride the rapids in a canoe on the same day. It could get a little dangerous!
    Omigawd, too too funny! Looks pretty darn good, though.
    Nan

  49. I didn’t block my cuffs either as I was too impatient to continue. The first sock is finished, I’m on the heel of the second. You’ve now got me worried…..

  50. Wow, that’s a stunning colorway. sorry the knitting goddess got you again. at least it wasn’t the squirrel!

  51. Oh. Wow. I live in a desert. What would have happened if I had not blocked my cuffs? I only did it because it was the middle of the night and I was too tired to read farther.

  52. This is an extreme case of using a non-knitting item (the French River) to accomplish a knitting procedure (wet blocking). According to Brenda Dayne of the Cast On Campers that should qualify Stephanie for a MacGyver Level I badge. (See caston.com for an explanation of earning knitting badges!)
    Beautiful sock!

  53. Clearly, you need to knit swatches to appease the Knitting Goddess. But you seem to be alright after the camping expedition. I mean, you didn’t lose the paddle, the camera, your shoes, or your knitting. See? Success!
    Btw, bears maul people. Moose, bulls, anything with horns gore. Personally, I’d rather be mauled, it might actually be less painful (instant death). Goring? It’s like getting stabbed by a short, blunt dagger. X_X

  54. Oh my dear Harlotta and other knitters, how much I needed that laugh and the posts to follow! In day two here of return-to-schoolitis with 1050 elementary kids. Yikes. THANK YOU ALL.
    I have my own mental picture of said KG waving her magic knitting needles and causing a hidden underwater swift to churn and flip you over after saying to herself “I’ll get you, my pretty, and your little camera too”

  55. Read today’s entry which enticed me to read yesterday’s. It was terrific. I love the photos with the X’s of the rocks you hit. Glad you are okay, as well as the sock!

  56. Hee hee! Sounds like my paddling trip on the Ottawa in the spring. Freezing cold, raining, and my dry top had sprung a pretty good leak. I was wearing a wool hat I had knit and decided NOT to block- I just wanted to *wear* it! Halfway through the day I took my helmet off and the hat took up residence across my nose. What was that? Block your swatch??

  57. Boy, those socks are going to have some history. There’s a story behind everything we knit, it seems, but this one’s a doozy.

  58. Ahh. Stephanie.
    I had a really, really, really bad day. I offended my MIL on my blog and the repercussions have been… legion. And then here you are. So sane, so calm. So at the mercy of the knitting goddess.
    Somehow, all seems right with the world again. Thank you.
    Barb

  59. Don’t you hate it when the stuff you write in your own book comes back to haunt you? hee hee.

  60. That is SO funny! I can just imagine those knitting “fairies” insisting on wet-blocking THAT sock! You are they “blessed” you… 🙂

  61. Oooo you defied the knitting goddess, you should not do that, no no no, I, would NEVER even think to not follow the instructions as written. 😉
    (Oh, don’t tell Joe it was all your fault.)

  62. I am very much looking forward to your visit to Houston/Spring this month but I besseech you, please have everything wet blocked before you get here! We’ll still be in hurricane season when you’re here and the Knitting Goddess is not an “everything in moderation” kinda gal… BTW, love the sock!

  63. I’m in BIG trouble. Not only did I knit hte pattern in the wrong size yarn at the wrong gauge, modify it to fit over my derrier (bum), let it sit for a year with only the shoulders and edging needing to be done, because I couldn’t tell if it was the right size, I’ve now discovered that the knitting goddess might be offended by that. Can two trips to my LYS to learn how to do the edging right (25 miles each way, on two different days) be considered enough penance to atone for my misdeeds? If you don’t hear from me, send yarn!

  64. I am picturing the Knitting Goddess stamping her foot at you. – So there! (and laughing when you were soaking wet from sock to skin!!)

  65. That’s pretty funny. But wet block the cuff before knitting the rest of the sock? I would have ignored it too. Why would you do such a thing?
    (This is why I am bad at higher math. I don’t want to just follow a formula without knowing why.)

  66. I wish my socks could look like that. It’s so pretty. The colors are beautiful.
    And curses to the knitting goddess.

  67. My personal knitting goddess is all-loving and compassionate and therefore suffered with you when the Socks That Rock felt the need to rock a bit too hard on rocls that were quite hard, as well as wet. She doesn’t buy needing to wet-block any portion of superwash socks, especially midstream.

  68. Watch out, Harlot. Your friend rams can give you a damn good run for your money in the funny factor.

  69. The wet block connection and the Yarn Goddess was very funny–especially with the picture of your soggy yarn. But, in truth, I am glad you are alive and well, and not a nearly drowned person in an ICU somewhere….. We need our daily dose of Yarn Harlot! (Oh, I am also glad you are alive and well for your sake too.)
    Good news is you remembered all the tips in case of a roll over. I am sure that went a long way in keeping you out of the hospital.
    Bad news is, you have a word count.
    But your words make us laugh and smile (and eventually will earn you some dollars). Maybe remembering that will help you get through your next knitting deprived day.

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