Dear Sam

Thanks for going for a ride with me today.  I know it’s been really hard for you to find the time to train for the Rally, and I know that these distances are still really hard.  (I know that, because after our 80km today, everything on my whole body hurts, and I can’t imagine your body feels any different. I don’t even want to talk about the place on my hind parts where I connect to the bike. Holy. Cow. I didn’t know my sit bones knew language like they’re throwing at me now.)

oakvillesign 2014-06-18

Thanks too, for being so good about being out with your mum.  I know you’re young and beautiful and hip, and I’m… your mother – and I know that there have to be some feelings about that related to the fact that I’m wearing spandex, and thanks for not saying anything at all about that.

sambench 2014-06-18

Thanks too, for the complaining.  I know you feel bad about saying that you’re hurting, and that it’s hard, but I don’t care how much you complain, as long as you keep moving –  and by goodness my girl, you do.  Know that I’m complaining too.  I’m just 46, and I keep it inside – but if I were one minute younger (and not your mum) I think there are moments where I would cry on the bike.  Thanks for not taking it that far.

mesamlunch 2014-06-18

One last thing – thanks for putting up with me.  It turns out that even though you are twenty years old and so capable,  when we are together, I can’t forget you’re my baby.  I appreciate that as I caution you over and over (and over) again about being careful and not getting hit by a car and watching out for that hole and call out to you about the gravel ahead… I appreciate that you take it all in stride, and know that there’s just something wrong with mothers.  It’s not that I think you can’t see these things, and I know you live in the world without me all the time, and that you’re fine. Just fine… it’s simply that I don’t know how to disengage the part of me that sees you, and sees possible danger, and just keeps connecting those things in a way that I feel compelled to warn you about.

samrides 2014-06-18

You’re a good rider.  Sorry about the gasping. Thanks for going on a ride with me.

You’re a crusher.

Love,

Mum

(PS.  See you in a week after the retreat.  Be a good girl.)

(PPS. I can’t tell you how proud I am that you’re the kind of young lady who would do this for a charity. You have no idea how many people your age wouldn’t spend their holidays this way. You’re awesome.)