Feel free to leave as many copies of this around as you feel like you need to. Copies required may be inferred by how related your last gift was to your actual personality or lifestyle.
Dear Muggle Non-knitter who loves a knitter,
I know that shopping for a knitter can be hard if you are not a knitter. I understand. You have two shopping days left (assuming the gift occasion is Christmas.) and your knitter will have a birthday as well. I’d like to help you. Please know that even though I have written this and your knitter has printed it out (perhaps multiple copies) – that we are not judging the gifts from previous years. The small appliances and countless bathrobes have been wonderful. We’re all just ready to move on.
First, take a really good look around your house. Even though you may not be very interested in the wool arts yourself, try and recall the times you have seen your knitter with wool.
1. Did you see one of these?
This is a ball winder. They can be procured from all reputable yarn stores and if your knitter doesn’t have one…they would like to.
2. How about one of these umbrella type action things clamped to a table? Perhaps in the dining room?
This is a swift. There are metal ones and wooden ones. Swifts hold skeins of yarn so that your knitter can wind it into a ball. Your knitter would like to have one, and more than that? You want your knitter to have one. Swifts replace the family member who has to hold the skein for them. (That might be you. If you buy this, then you can go back to whatever your hobbies might be.)
3. Your knitter wants this.
Yarn. Buy yarn. I hear muggles say it all the time “But she has so much yarn. I’ll get her something else.” Hear me now. Your knitter has a lot of yarn because she LIKES yarn. Yarn is always a good choice. Go to a yarn shop, not a regular store and tell the nice people there that your knitter has lots of yarn, and that you would like to get some good yarn. They will help you. Yarn stores are just like other stores, and you don’t have to be afraid to go into them.
Further to that, if you go to the yarn store that your knitter goes to, then they will know him or her and probably be able to point you in the direction of whatever they almost bought last week. (Along with what they already bought.) If you still feel freaked out about the yarn store….two words. Gift Certificate. Yarn stores have them.
4. Audio books and something to listen to them on. Your knitter will love this. Seriously. Ever tried to knit and read? Well, no. You’re a non-knitter. Sorry. Still…I’m sure you can imagine that all “hands free” activities are going to be popular with people who don’t have their hands free.
5. Further to that…How about a headset for the phone? Your knitter would love to be able to spin or knit without getting her neck all crinked to the left like that.
Got a smaller budget? Gave a bunch of your money away? Need small things for the stocking? Knitters need the following, in pretty unlimited amounts. Even if your knitter has some of this stuff, don’t worry. She won’t have it for long. These items are temporary.
– Tape measures.
– darning needles
– Batteries for their digital cameras (your knitter likes to take pictures of his knitting.)
-ziplocks…of any size. (Big ones are good for stash management)
All of the above can be procured in the aforementioned yarn shop, which is, as I have said, very friendly and nothing at all to be afraid of.
Now go forth and shop brave muggle, and we won’t talk about the time you bought your darling knitter a bathroom scale. (I know. Her other one was broken. I’m sure it all made sense at the time.)
Remember the magic words. Yarn Store. Go there. Ask for help.
Good luck, and please, when you see your knitter Christmas Morning? Wish them the happiest of all possible holidays from me and my family.