Check, double check.

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I am so nervous that I almost can’t drink coffee….but I think I’m ready.

Two weeks worth of socks packed up to go?

Sockstogoknit1203

Check. (I’m taking these babies carry-on. Can you imagine the nightmare of them not turning up for the show? Even I can’t knit with enough conviction to get out of that one.)

Knitty Gritty ordered manicure?

Knittynails1203

Check. (I got it yesterday at the last possible moment and have already had to touch it up twice. Is it just me or are these manicures really not for people who have to scrub things?)

Sea Silk shawl/scarf thingie to make me feel better?

Check.

Passport, ticket…sock?

Check, check check.

Obsessive compulsive amount of knitting packed in the suitcase?

Check.

Twelve tops in suitcase because I couldn’t make up my mind because everything I own is stupid and shouldn’t be worn in public never mind on TV?

Check.

Spindle packed so I can observe spinning for Tuesdays?

Check.

Firm conviction that airport security is going to look at me that way again?

Check.

Cab called?

Check.

Creeping horror bordering on phobia that some sort of horrendous thing (probably related to my incredibly uncooperative “I live to see you suffer” hair) is going to happen during the taping that will make me look like a huge idiot and be aired in Knitty Gritty re-runs for THE REST OF MY LIFE.

Check.

I’m getting on a plane now. If you see me today, do the world a favour and take me down with a sedative blow-dart….will ya?

I think I prefer doing radio.

257 thoughts on “Check, double check.”

  3. Oh, but you’re going to rock!
    And if you do hate how it turns out, I bet someone in the LA area will volunteer to raid the studio and destroy the tape, don’t you think?

  4. This will be one of the best Knitty Gritty shows ever, and we really don’t care all that much what your hair looks like (except for your benefit). You are going to enlighten a lot of people, including knitters who have never tried socks!
    Rock on!

  5. Manicures are definitely NOT for someone who has to scrub things. I don’t think that they are really for people who like to do things with their hands, either. They are definitely for TV, though. You will let us all know when the show airs, won’t you?
    Kate

  6. I am forlorn that we do not get the DIY network here in the boonies. Have a safe and wonderful trip….the temperatures are in the 70’s!!And it won’t matter one whit what your manicure looks like.

  8. A compulsory manicure seemed really bizarre at first thought, but I guess it makes sense for close-ups–don’t want the viewers going, “Ewwww, grubby!” (Not that YOURS were grubby pre-manicure. But you never know, some of the presenters might have multiple hobbies including knitting and changing the oil in Mack trucks.) Did they insist that it be a French manicure, because color would be too distracting?
    And you’ll knock ’em dead, don’t worry. Remember to breathe!

  9. Break a leg! And calm down, just ENJOY it … if nothing else, envision the audience naked (unless that makes you giggle a lot)!

  10. A cuppa cammomile tea and a few deep breaths should calm you . You’ll be marvelous even if the( I live to see you suffer hair) is not co operating . Just say to yourself ((as my friend did when she was streesed out) “”Here I come you lucky people “”

  11. Wedding ring – check
    When you get back and have returned to your version of normality (at this time of year probably involving manic Xmas knitting) can we see the wedding photos please.

  13. Break a leg!! (It’s a show business “good luck,” not a wish for harm to befall you. Trust me, I’m an actor.)
    I can’t wait to see it. I know you’re going to be great. And yeah, manicures are completely useless. Too bad Knitty Gritty didn’t order you to get a pedicure instead!

  15. You have already put on more clothing than your neighbor who was out and about in her underwear. So, you are better dressed than some in the population. No one will know or care what you are wearing, we won’t be able to take our eyes off your beautiful socks.

  16. I am positive you will be your usual wonderful and funny self that I have read in countless blogs about Harlot in person appearances. And as another person whose hair has a mind of its own (I wake up, look in the mirror, and say “well, if you insist”)I can only say good luck and godspeed.

  17. Break a leg, Steph. You’ll be great! Does Knitty Gritty do podcasts or make their content available online? I don’t get much TV.

  18. Your hands look fabu, they really do. Especially with that ring–I wasn’t even LOOKING at the nails, honestly. 🙂
    You’ll be awesome. I just hope I can find someone who gets DIY so I can have them tape it for me–yes, I would be willing to watch TV for you, Steph. 😀 SEE what the power of knitting does to a person??
    Break a leg!

  19. The air here is very dry today. Your hair will be perfect. So perfect, you’ll be tempted to move here, but don’t. Our summers are as miserable as our winters are lovely.

  20. Oh– what’s the blue with the cable-y stitch, behind the pretty manicure? Very nice!

  22. I live with hair that tells ME what it is going to do, and have learned not to intervene. Sigh….

  23. As per comment above, be glad they didn’t order you a pedicure! It could be worse: you could have to model the socks.

  25. Yeah, radio is better. The advice I’ve heard about TV is no stripes. Apparently they swim. I’m not sure I know what that means but thought I’d pass it on.

  27. Your hand(s) look great but you should be aware that there is a curse that is put out after getting a manicure that “makes you smudge them”. It does not matter how careful you are. GOod Luck and let us know when you will be “on.”

  28. Having never had the opportunity to come to any of your book signings, I am SO excited to see you on Knitty Gritty. I have all the episodes tivo’d so I won’t miss you! Will you be on this week?
    can’t wait. nails look great, by the way.

  29. Steph, just remember when you’re in the hotel room – shampoo/conditioner is for hair; lotion is for hands.
    I didn’t see “glasses – check” on your list!

  33. It’s not just you. Manicures are, I am convinced, not for people who use their hands full stop.
    It’s not just scrubbing. I swear I breathe on those things they chip. And forget knitting or typing with manicured nails. I don’t think that yarn is sharp and I don’t think my needles are that sharp but somehow they just chip.
    Nail varnish just doesn’t stay on my fingers. My own fingernails barely stay on my fingers! Not only have I never been able to keep a manicure pristine for longer than 20 minutes without something going wrong I’ve never been able to grow my nails. I feel your manicure pain!
    Anyway, good luck! Knit good! 🙂 I think you’ll be great.

  34. Good luck! You’ll be great. The socks look great and, hey, they’re all done, so someone clearly meant for you to be able to do Knitty Gritty just fine.
    I think the over-packing of knitting is endemic to all knitters everywhere. My mom and I do it all the time. Despite the fact that I know for certain I will never need that extra ball of yarn or those three extra project, they’re in my bag. Just in case a camel eats my sock or something.

  35. I absolutely, positively, cannot WAIT to see you on Knitty Gritty! I hope you will tell us when your episode is going to air because I need to see it!!!! I have bought sock yarn in anticipation!
    You will be great, try not to be too nervous!
    ps – the nails look fab!

  38. Breathe…
    You’ll be wonderful. The nails look great, and just think of the step outs as half completed Christmas presents.

  39. Honey, you will knock em dead! You got talent,you got personality, you are already a star in the shining firmament of knitting blog land. Of course, hair or no hair, you will let us know when it will air on TV?!

  40. Good Luck Stephanie! I look forward to the Yarn Harlot Blog turning into a daily TV show with you! Wouldn’t that be a hoot?
    You’re going to be fab. Don’t worry about a thing.

  41. Swear words said while making step outs: Thousands
    Time spent on making all those @#&*! socks: Hundreds
    Seeing the Yarn Harlot on Knitty Gritty: Priceless

  43. Seriously, you will do great. Everything will fall into place and all will go well.
    Good thoughts with you during it all.
    🙂

  45. Just don’t say ARSE. I know. That didn’t help. It’s like asking you not to think about a blue pen. Because then all you think about is blue pens, so now for sure you are doomed to say arse on TV. Sorry! But darned entertaining ;).

  46. Unfortunately our cable system does not offer diy so I will not get to see you. However, your manicure is beautiful, you have packed enough knitting stuff for anyone else’s year! You will be super terrific! You will wow them! You will knock ’em dead! Just be yourself, they will love you!!! Go, girl…Ruth

  47. You’ll be great!
    And manicures just don’t last…that’s why I’ve been wearing acrylics for the last way-too-many-years.

  49. I have this sudden fear that you’ll get the zealous trainee at Homeland Security and he will confiscate ALL your needles from your carry-on. Sending good passing-through-security vibes your way.

  52. I got nervous just reading this. But the socks look great, the nails look great, your wedding ring is beautiful, and you’re going to be amazing! Good luck!!

  53. Bon Voyage and like the folks said, don’t forget the glasses! And if you get a chance while you’re in LA could you pick up another skein of that handspun that’s on my website. I am having trouble thinking of a one-skein project for it, but maybe TWO skeins would make…dare I suggest…a beautiful pair of socks? I will pay you your weight in fresh squeaky cheese!

  54. You are REAL. Lala-land and TV are fake.
    Let me put it this way: WWEZD? She’d figure that no matter how stuffy her shirt looked, she’d be able to show these women a sensible thing or two. And then she’d go home and continue to be fabulous. Just like you.

  55. You will be wonderful, Steph, really. Just keep the socks away from the wildfires in SoCal (well, and you too, but that goes without saying). The nails look great, whatever shirt you choose will be perfect for TV and your hair will give you one (remember only one) day of cooperation for the shoot. Travel safe and take care.

  56. You will be great. I have a hard time watching the show because Vicki drives me crazy but I will definitely watch this one when it comes on TV.

  57. I second the motion: BREAK A LEG! (theatrically speaking). You’re beautiful and fabulous and inspiring and it’s going to be the best show they ever had. And I’ll ask again: anyone know if this show sells copies of its episodes? ‘Cuz I don’t get DIY either and I’m just going to hunker down in the corner and cry (and knit) until I find out if I’m gonna getta see it tooooooo….

  60. Glad you’re not nervous or anything… 🙂
    Relax. The TV people make a living turning nervous-about-being-on-TV people into interesting and enjoyable viewing. I’ve never seen Knitty Gritty, but surely all the other guests aren’t panting nervous wrecks, right? That’s because the TV people know what they’re doing. Trust the nice TV people, and relax, and have a good time with it.

  61. Good luck
    And hey, while you’re there, see if you can get them to start airing in Canada.(I tried already, but noone ever listens to me!)

  62. Nail polish never seems to stay on for me. It’s always chipping or flaking off within 24 hours. Good luck on the show!

  63. All of you without DIY. Go to DIY Network, click on crafts, click on needlework, then knitting. There is a long list of videos you can download. Stephanie’s socks are not there, [ because she has not done it yet] but I am confident they will show up.
    Someone who has the computer skills, please post a LINK to this, I am not savy enough to do so.

  64. Awh.. man.. the other bad thing about not getting picked is the lack of my first and probably one an only manicure.. maybe I should just go on out and get it done anyway!
    Knock em dead!

  65. Stephanie, don’t worry about the hair. Even if it does something — unpredictable — it won’t be your fault. They have stylists for hair and makeup, and if it looks — unusual — you can just say it was the stylist and use it in your next book!
    I’ve gotten manicures that didn’t survive opening the salon door to leave. They are not for real people. Meanwhile, breathe. One breath at a time. Knit. Drink tea and water. Try not to strangle the sock. You’ll be great.

  66. You are ever so not alone with the manicure issue, it’s wasted time for my hands/nails…..your hands always look nice (per photos we’ve seen sans manicure). Have a great time, have some wine on the flight,heh, and more when you get there..just a bit.
    You’re going to be fabulous as always…

  67. In the midst of everything, you plan to observe Spinning Tuesday? Just what, exactly, gives Rams this power over your life??

  68. You are (always as near as I can tell) fabulous and KG will be no exception. Can’t wait for you to be on air, beautiful hands and all.
    Have fun!

  69. You have enough fans out there who feel like they know you personally that it wouldn’t even matter if you completely blew it! Since when do friends and family care if you look/sound/are perfect?? We’ll keep on adoring you anyway.
    But you’ll do great.

  70. Break a leg! You’ll be a hit.
    Manicure’s like that are only for people who do NOTHING…not even knit. Have fun….that’s the important part.

  71. sending good luck vibes your way.
    you will be fabulous.
    the hard part for us will be waiting to see the episode (likely a year from now??) and me without satelite.

  73. You’ll do great. Just remember to put on your glasses to read the “shampoo” bottle to ensure it is shampoo and don’t go into the hallway of the hotel in just your underwear without having the keys with you.
    I swear, I get more nervous than you do when you travel.

  78. ‘s OK, Stephanie, don’t worry about your hair. I arranged it with the hair demons and my hair exploded enough for both of us. Enjoy the experience!

  80. You’ll do wonderfully, and you’ll look gorgeous. We’ll all be watching! (In a totally loving and supporting way 🙂 )

  83. I’m sure that you will be wonderful. Wish I could watch it. And I know others have said it but don’t forget to breathe!

  87. You will do great! I will actually break down and watch that show when your segment is aired. How can you not rock? The host is as boring as a box of rocks so you will be a superstar no matter what happens!

  89. TV studios have people who will do what THEY, not YOU, will want to have done to your hair, and they have stuff to spray on it after that will keep it that way, even after two nights’ sleep. They will probably want you to change your shirt, and they will probably tell you to change into THIS one. And if you have to ever do this again, book your manicure through the hotel, and at least you won’t have to worry about it while you’re getting there.
    TV people are unreasonable — remember that, and you’ll be fine.

  90. Think about it this way: No matter how nervous you are about being on TV, the host of the show is probably *far* more nervous about meeting somebody as adored and revered as you.
    Feel better now? ;D

  91. TV is unreal – you are brilliant real-real. Break a leg, have a ball, go for it. I think your hair is fabulous…with lotion or moisture-enabled big-ness or just naturally wonderfully wavy-wavy. And, yeah Joe, the ring is stunning.

  92. Obviously I have become spinning obsessed – when you mentioned “12 tops” I immediately thought “that’s a lot of fiber to take along.”
    Best of luck on the show!

  93. Dear Stephanie:
    I just discovered your existence a few days ago, and I’m already in love (in a platonic ideal sort of way). I had my first knitting lesson this past Saturday, the day after I began reading your book of essays.
    Even more than your fabulous brand of self-deprecating humor, I was delighted to see that you’re a doula! I’m not a doula, but I work for ALACE–which I was even more delighted to see you chose for our Childbirth Ed training back in the 90s!
    I have a feeling knitting is going to be a brand new passion for me (after my knitting lesson Saturday morning, I proceeded to finish my first project the SAME DAY–a hat for a Chanukah present for my 11-year-old daughter)! It will join my greatest passion–supporting women in birth. Thank you so much for your wonderful words and your support of women. Good luck!
    JB

  94. Hows about we all agree to have bad hair until you’re done taping, just to suck all the frizzy karma away from your vicinity? Seriously, you will rock!

  95. Sending you many tranquil vibes. I’ll bet that Vickie Howell will put you right at ease. Well, that or (like it’s been suggested before) she may turn into a pile of goo being in The Harlot’s presence. But, I think that unlikely since it’s awfully hard to turn into goo. So, you’ve got that.

  96. Looking forward to seeing the show… doesn’t matter what your hair looks like…we’ll be focusing on your nails.

  97. Lady, at least you don’t have Gorgon hair, even if it feels like it some days. Can you imagine how *that* would react to being hairsprayed?? OUCH!!
    I second everyone else. Relax, have FUN, and don’t worry.
    Oh, and refrain from throwing knitting needles into the screaming crowd; the LAPD tends to get a little excited ’bout stuff like that. *grin*
    Have a great time!

  101. I STILL say…If you think you’re nervous..imagine how nervous Vickie Howell is to meet a living legend like you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (and, some days HER hair looks like it’s having it’s revenge..so don’t sweat it……..wish my TIVO wasn’t disconnected…

  102. Everyone already loves you! Even if your hair is acting up…don’t worry, you’ll be fabulous! Good luck.
    P.S. Hope that HUGE ROCK doesn’t slow down your knitting, or blind the television viewers 😉

  103. Stephanie,
    Relax Chica! You’re probably in the airplane right now, sipping on a stiff drink, enjoying that wonderful SeaSilk on your needles.
    I ask you, what better way to treat yourself after so much hard work than with SeaSilk? *long pause* Nope, can’t think of any. Relax Steph, you have earned it!
    Can’t wait to see the show. I am sure you will not let any of us down.
    Speaking of the show, here is some good news (if you get HGTV) the show (not sure of which episodes) is going to air on HGTV as well as DIY. Not sure if it is going to be a constant or just a few episodes but I thought I would give all of you the 411. Got this info. from Vickie Howell’s blog. Hope this helps.
    Also, on the same topic, people keep commenting that they don’t have knitty gritty and need to find somebody to tape it for them. I have posted several comments over the last few posts to say that I think I have a solution but not many people seem to be checking it out and commenting. Maybe it is because my comments are so far down the list.
    Oh well, this is going to be my last comment about the whole thing so TO ALL OF YOU WHO GET DIY OR NEED A TAPE OF THE SHOW, check out my blog and the post “Pass It On” and comment if you want to help or be helped.
    Sorry this turned out to be a long comment but there is a lot of information to share 🙂
    Marly

  104. I am personally taking over in the bad hair department for you today, so not to worry. You will be your always-brilliant self. Break a leg! (supposed to be preferable to wishing you luck).

  105. My DH and I are both sending you good luck vibes. With that many step-outs, I’m sure that you’ll be great. If you aren’t, I’m sure the hostess will be distracting them with lots of great knitted socks. 🙂

  106. Everyone wants to see the real you, “bad” hair and all. The manicure is a bonus! But, now do we all have to go out and get a manicure before we knit socks???? Break a leg, as they say in show business. Or, maybe we should say, “break a needle” for good luck!!

  107. You’ll be fabulous. They have stylists for your hair and maybe even someone to help with all those annoying manicure touchups. I’ve never been able to get a manicure to last more than five hours.

  108. If the Knitty Gritty folks get too snippy (for which they have a tendency, it appears), tell ’em to put a sock in it.
    Then offer them one of your offensively original renegade socks before they demanded stifling uniformity from you.

  110. It’s too bad we don’t have Knitty Gritty here in Canada… Maybe if you ever have a copy, you can youtube it – or um, just post it on your blog. 🙂
    And that’s why I love radio too. 😉 Bad hair day? Check. Will anyone see in radio? No. 😀

  111. I love a good manicure (she types with her newly painted nails) and yours look faboo!
    It is my dream to be on Knitty Gritty as a knitster but they have yet to invite us Costa Rica gals. Bumer!

  113. Gosh, I’ve got terrible visions of airport security making you pull out all the needles in your stepouts.. [Hopefully you won’t see this comment until AFTER you’ve made it through security, as I don’t mean to give you something else to worry about.]

  114. Well, with the time difference, you’re over the first hurdle – you’re in the air winging your way towards my timezone. 😉 (Unfortunately, going way too far south of me.) So:
    1. Rings, manicure, hands – great. If anything goes wrong with manicure, the studio will have someone scurrying to fix.
    2. Hair – as people have said, studio will have experts to pummel it into submission. Let *them* worry about it; they need to earn their money, after all.
    3. Clothes – seriously, you think any audience is gonna be looking at your *clothes*? Nahhhh. One of those gorgeous smiles from you, and a few examples of your humor, they’re all going to be smitten. What clothes?
    4. Nerves – really, can it be worse than enduring the gantlet of our TSA people? You’ve made it through them already, you can hack a measly TV show. By now the studio and network have probably gotten so many gushingly thankful emails re your appearance that they’ll be somewhat in awe and offering massages, aromatherapy, wine, chocolate, feng shui, free yarn, and for all we know, dancing boys *and* yarn boys to keep you calm and happy.
    5. If you forget and say ‘arse’, they can bleep it, the background knitters will simply laugh with you in happy recognition, and the crew will no doubt enjoy it. Besides. It’s cable. Who cares?
    5. Remember, on her cooking show, Julia Child once dropped an entire nekkid bird on the floor, calmly picked it up with a cheery comment, dusted it off and proceeded to continue preparing it for cooking. I don’t think there’s anything you could do that would manage to top *that* little faux pas.
    6. Besides, editing can work wonders. 😉
    7. OC knit packing – When I went to Chicago in June, in addition to the yarn for a scarf for a friend, for some reason I packed enough yarn for an entire *sweater*. For me. Which would be size 3X. And tunic length. I dunno what I was thinking; I don’t knit *that* fast. So now I have some 2,200 or so yards of yarn that’s traveled to Chicago. Just for the hell of it, apparently, as nary a ball made it out of the big plastic bag it lived in for the occasion. At least you’ll almost certainly knit more than I did, so you’re not nuts. Besides, isn’t this normal for you?
    8. Several thousand blog readers can’t be wrong: You’ll be fantastic!

  116. Presbytera, it is never wise to question The Power of Rams. It has a tendency to result in… no. No I can’t say it out loud. Just bear in mind that it is She who controls the Stash Weasels.
    You’ll forgive me for not standing too near you for the next while, won’t you?

  119. Break a leg, and relax! The great thing about performing is the audience doesn’t know what you intended, so it will be great!
    Enjoy yourself!

  120. Take a deep breath. Your manicure looks great, and that’s a beautiful ring you’re wearing! Everyone loves you – have you noticed? You’ll be fine. I’m looking forward to seeing you.

  122. Have the safest of travel to our sunny city! We will all look like morons, wearing bundles of clothing in the 60 degree weather, but try not to mock us too much… we have some killer yarn stores.

  123. Just channel (no pun intended) your cat. Cats always look fabulous, because they are inscrutable. No matter what it is a cat has just managed to do, it can look up with perfect composure and sincerity and say “I meant to do that”, and no one can gainsay it, for no one knows what it had meant to do.
    Do have fun. Do remember to breathe.

  124. Dammit! I do wish I had cable TV. Oh well, maybe knitting will become soooo popular that Knitty Gritty will air re-runs on the one of the (previously) big 3 networks. In fact, perhaps you now have enough influence to do something about that…Please?
    As for your anxieties above, I am totally sure the knitting/viewing audience will love you 🙂

  126. I would also encourage not watching Carrie before going on the set. Red blood on green socks doesn’t look festive at all.

  128. Your manicure is fab, you have beautiful hands. Good luck and you will have fun taping, even if you don’t realize it till after you are done. 🙂 I am so excited for you!

  129. Say arse, say arse, say arse…
    (yeah, and like Duty’s making you carry the spindle — what kind of bunnycrack are you packing?)
    … say arse, say arse..

  130. You’re going to be GREAT! If only you were going to be at a yarn store before or after to garner the support and love of your fellow knitters 🙂 Margaritas, anyone?
    It also helps to remember is that in a recent study in the U.S., more people were afraid of public speaking than of death. No kidding. So, really — think of all of the terrified people who look so calm on TV. You’re about to become one of them!

  131. Manicures are a bit tetchy, unless you get acrylic nails, and growing up as somewhat of a tomboy, I never thought I would promote them, but man do they hold that polish. You don’t have to get long nails or even tips, but that acrylic layer underneath the polish makes the job last twice as long.
    Good luck and have fun!

  132. Your manicure is fabulous and those socks (all two weeks) of them are amazing – good luck 🙂

  133. You’ll be abfab, not to worry. 🙂
    Now if they’ll only play the episode during this millennium, it seems like forever since I’ve seen a new one.

  134. Break a leg! If all else fails, imagine everyone naked. Would never work for me, but would at least be a story to tell afterwards.

  135. Wow, I am so glad to know that I am not the only one who can get a manicure one day and need a touch up in less than 24 hours. Sorry that you had to do that, but relieved to find out it isn’t just me.
    Relax, Breathe deeply and just know you have lots of fans who are anxious to see you on Knitty Gritty. When is it going to air? I will have to ask my son to figure out what channel it is, It we don’t get it, I will ask my brother to TiVo it for me.
    Have a good time at the taping.

  136. Best of luck! I’m sure you’ll be fabulous, but I also am too familiar with stage fright. I think having to get a manicure would send me over the edge. I mean to be on a show where they care about manicures, that would do me in.
    As for hair, I think yours and mine are in cahoots. They probably plan secret meetings where they talk about how to ruin our lives. Have you tried gels like Recoil (AG), sleek.look (Matrix), or curl.life (Matrix)? They’ve allowed me and my hair to become better friends, and frizziness is relatively uncommon now. (To get back at me, my hair is now turning white. Oh well. White I can deal with better than frizz.) That and the suggestions in “Curly Girl” by Lorraine Massey, particularly the one about rinsing your hair upside down after the conditioner (lean forward so the hair flips down, rinse from the back of your head, this doesn’t strip the top front, which is usually the frizziest).

  140. Manicure showoff, great. That’s just what I needed. I got my manicure the day before I flew out for my episode and the lady pulverized my cuticles. I guess $8 a pop don’t buy much. Yours are beautiful, and I wish we would have been there at the same time. Break a leg, doll.
    *smooch*

  142. We all love you and nothing that could happen
    will change that. Enjoy this incredible opportunity!

  143. You and your nails and your outfit and your socks will be gorgeous. You will say brilliant, charming things and everyone will love you. Just don’t scrub anything until it’s over.

  144. You’re right: manicures are a total waste of perfectly good yarn money. Nobody’s going to notice those nails anyway with that gorgeous ring blinding them.
    I can’t wait to hear you say “arse” on TV. I’m going to go Tivo it right now.

  146. Nothing beats terror and dismay like plotting another huge and time-consuming project, right? How about auctioning off each individual step-out in all its unfinished glory with the proceeds to Knitters Without Borders?
    I for one would pay handsomely for bragging rights to have a genunine Yarn Harlot sock cuff tacked to my bulletin board. Heck, I could charge admission to my cubicle!
    Best,
    Margaret

  147. The reason I love reading your blog and books is because you’re always yourself, even when you have a manicure. If you’re worried about your hair, be sure to call Wen (http://slowknitter.com) once you get into town. I promise she’ll do good by you.
    You did pack your camera, right? I didn’t see it on the list.
    Oh, and thanks – I wish you’d been able to pick out my yarn, too, but I’m sure it’ll be beautiful no matter what. You’ll get another comment once it shows up.

  148. They ordered you to have a manicure? The nerve! (Stitchy posted about the very same thing today, actually…)
    I use my DVR to record each and every episode of Knitty Gritty… think about how many of us knitting TiVo/DVR owners there must be out there who will keep your episode preserved for digital eternity…
    And relax. 🙂

  149. your going to be great! I cant wait to watch the show! I love dvr, so i can watch it more than once and drive hubby crazy, LOL!

  151. You’ll be WONDERFUL and I cannot wait to see the show! Having seen both your green socks and the breathtaking “black geometric” ones of two days ago, I’m beginning to rethink my whole “I-will-not-fall-prey-to-the-sock” position. You’re making them look awfully good!!

  153. Ya know, the same people who read your blog and come see you at book signing are the same people who will be watching the show, and the very same people that already adore you!
    So forget the camera, and just imagine some of us are sitting around you in a circle and you are showing us how you knit your socks.
    I wonder if they’ll give you a glass of wine before you go on air LOL.

  154. I’ll be thinking good thoughts for you. I can’t wait to see the show, been Tivo’ing that one for quite some time. The socks look fab, your manicure looks fab, you’ll be fab!

  155. You will be FANTASTIC – when you get to your hotel, just take a few minutes to sit on the bed cross legged & chant OHM – it really works to relax you (I think it has something to do with the sound vibrating thru your body). I have TIVO’d Knitty Gritty (on both HGTV & DIY) so as to be sure not to miss it (& different episodes on the 2 channels). Just picture all of us here chanting Go, Harlot, Go Harlot!

  156. This will be super enjoyable once you get there and get into it.
    Just don’t do this – visiting my daughter last week, I sprayed my glasses with a small bottle of Eucerin anti itch lotion instead of lens cleaner. I sensed that I had a problem – lenses seemed to have gotten dirty fast! – but it took me several hours to figure it out.
    Have fun!

  157. You forgot to put breathing on your checklist. Now repeat after me: in…out, in…out, in…out…Seriously, you’ll do fine. You’ll knock ’em dead. You’ll be a triumph of poised sock knitting wisdom. We love you!

  158. You’ll be swell.
    Now, about the hair. Stop using shampoo after this (no, I’m not kidding). “Wash” it with a mixture of conditioner (creme rinse, whatever) and vinegar.
    Every now and then just slop on a LOT of conditioner into dry hair, wrap it in a plastic bag and then a towel, and go spin or knit. (This is very important.) 30 minutes to hours later, rinse it out with water and vinegar.
    And let it air dry whenever you can. I’m tellin’ you, this works!
    Anyhoo…break a leg (I used to be an actor, so it’s kindly meant!)
    =^..^=

  159. Got your back, dude. I just did a TV thing for CBC with a bunch of knitters, and I not only had the worst hair day I’ve had in years, but it rained on the way to the meeting. Bad explosive hair meets rain = worse explosive hair. It looked like such crap that I’m quite sure that it happened solely for the purpose of distracting all bad planetary hair energy from your general direction and asking, nay, begging it to land on Montréal instead.
    So you’re covered on the hair thing. The swearing thing, I’m afraid I can’t help you with. I did not use the f-word or any other “gros mot” the entire time we were being filmed. I’m sorry, lovey…someone else is going to have to be the arse magnet.
    Have fun!

  160. YOu’ll be great. And yes mani’s are not for mothers I say. Mine doesn’t last all the way home from the nail salon.

  162. If my dishTV guide is correct, HGTV will air a Knitty Gritty episode called “Sock It To Me” this Thursday. Could that be the one? As for hair, it’s super-dry in Los Angeles now, so your hair should be great (unlike my straight flat hair which needs a little more humidity to look decent)!

  163. I don’t have a sedative blow-dart handy, but I can offer you a virtual e-hug and the reminder that breathing is good. Say it with me now: “Oxygen is our friend.” A spot of yoga in the hotel room and you should be fine.

  164. I think you’ll be fine. Just picture the camera man in panties. Pink panties. That should take your mind of your fears.
    They made you get a manicure? Odd.

  165. Yeah i know what you mean about the hair i frequently look like im attending th econtry music awards also. Have you tryed a straighting iorn? its not so bad for your hair if you use good products. I nuke mine almost every day, but my hair is rather resiliant.

  168. You’re taking Sea Silk! Yes! Just pet or knit it a bit if you need some calming deep breaths. Remember Rachel H and Rams’s comments if you need a good laugh. Go Stephanie!

  169. I read your list quickly and thought at first you were bringing a passport for your traveling sock. What would that look like, I wonder : )

  170. everyone keeps saying “break a leg”, but if it’s show biz about knitting what do you say? drop a stitch? break a ply? snap a bamboo double point? things that make ya go hmmmm….

  171. Not that my advice is worth much (my first TV appearance prompted a delayed-reaction rhinoplasty) but besides what JoVE said about stripes, they usually suggest not wearing yellow or black. It cracks me up to see you with a French manicure; you’re so not the sort. Luckily you won’t have to worry about the bane of my on-camera appearance; five-o-clock shadow that put Nixon’s to shame. Depending on the show’s budget there may or may not be people there to fuss with your makeup. All the same, expect them to plaster you with warm, nutty tan foundation. Thwap.
    You’ll do fine, of course.

  172. Harlot,
    Stay far away from little bottles of shampoo/lotion/conditioner provided at the hotel.
    At least your hands and hair will be beautiful on TV!
    The socks will speak for themselves.
    Best wishes!!!

  173. Nope–manicures are NOT for people who scrub things. However, for those times in your life that you need a manicure–say, your wedding or your TV debut–wearing household gloves while scrubbing is a good idea. (Yeah, I know about the ecological ramifications of disposable gloves, but sometimes..)
    Knock, ’em dead!

  174. break a leg!!! you’ll do great i’m sure. and yeah just nail polish in general isnt for people who have to scrub things. just yesterday I painted my nails a few hours before I went to work and about half of it came off while I was there. Thanks a lot, Dairy Queen! Thanks a lot.
    but yeah. you’ll do fine. and even if you don’t, i’m sure you’ll live!
    that sounded better in my head but you get the idea.

  175. I wouldn’t be able to let those socks out of my sight either. I’d be having dreams of losing them. Attach them to your body, imagine if they got left in a cab! OMG you’re gonna need to let us know they got there OK. Good luck and watch out for the lotion.

  177. If this is like any other kind of demonstration taped show, 90% is the demonstration and your hands. 1% is your face/hair/clothes. The other 9%is the host/promotional material.
    Deep zen breathing, and just think of your favorite knitting mantra.

  178. The socks are great, your nails look great, and you will be great! I can’t wait to have a chance to see you – although I will have to find a friend who has cable. Maybe we will have our SnB meet in special session to watch. You go, girl!

  180. re: fickle hair issues, try avoiding conditioner altogether in the shower. Use a spray on after conditioner. Two advantages, 1) no way you’ll mix up the bottle for lotion and 2) you will get a more even application of product. Third option is to hire a professional to do your hair. It’s LA, they KNOW good hair.

  181. I don’t get DIY so I’ve never seen Knitty Gritty. Such a bummer! Good luck on the show! I never get manicures because I can’t stand any chips on my manicure. They’re definitely for those who do not need to lift a hand to clean or scrub anything!

  182. This is going to be Knitty Gritty’s best episode – it’ll be worth the awful perkiness of the host (sometimes I just want to throw things or up). And it’ll be the best pattern they’ve ever aired. Most useful given the giving season.
    Thank you, Stephanie! You’ll be great despite and in spite of your hair’s antics.

  184. KNITTY GRITTY on HGTV … it looks like this is permanent as I just checked the channel listings. It looks like DIY is running 2004 shows and HGTV is showing 2005 version. (-:
    HGTV is at 11 or 11:30am ET/PT (Just walking upstairs was enough to forget the exact time!)
    Hope this helps everyone.

  186. We will love you no matter what. They will use enough ozone depleting products that you won’t have to worry about your hair. There are only very brief flashes of your body on the show and usually the full body shots are focused more on Vicki – hence the “approved” manicure. Next time make them use a UV set top coat and it won’t chip so badly.
    Just remember…we love you anyway.

  187. All the best on your trip. If you have time to read this while you are away, would you please respond to my post? I am a knitter — I love to knit — but that’s not why I’m writing. I am looking for someone who knew my sister, Jeanine, a weaver of fibre from the angora goats she raised at her small farm just outside of Colorado Springs. She died in a tragic auto accident more than two years ago. Did you know her? My e-mail is cliu50@hotmail.com. It would be a comfort to the family if you had anything to share. Thanks, Carol

  188. Anyone interested in a Video Tape chain letter of the show? We would each be responsible for the shipping to one other person, and also for watching the 25 minutes in a timely fashion and passing it on. Contact off blog.

  189. They’ll at least provide you with your own Yarn Boy, won’t they?
    Everybody in Hollywood is trying to achieve natural-looking big hair, so you’re really ahead of the curve and not behind any eight-balls. So relax, chickie. Your peeps are with you.

  190. You will be a wonderful harlot, even on TV. Do not be afraid. Do not try to have a drink beforehand to “stabalize” yourself… lol… Feel free to have shots after though… And your hair will look marvelous, I assure you. 🙂 Although, how can you get the show if your poor little town doesn’t carry it? Anybody know? I would like to see it.

  191. You’ll be fine – you’ll be fantastic – you’ll be charming!
    Start repeating affirmations to yourself!
    Being on camera is unnerving, but my best tip is: don’t do Lemoncella shots with George Clooney (ala Danny DeVito style) the night before the show.

  192. Oh. My. Gosh. I NEED knitty gritty!! I don’t love Vickie Howell, but if you’re gonna be on there… Well. Different story.
    No sedative blow darts for you, missy.

  193. You are going to be fabulous! I hope you are taking that awesome pair of fair-isle socks you posted about along with those step-outs. I have yet to see an episode of Knitty Gritty (I don’t have enough cable channels) but I hear it’s a very cool show. I can’t wait for it to come out on DVD! BTW, you’ve gotta see Firefly. 🙂

  194. Yes, Harlot, definitely manicures are not for people who have to scrub things. Although acrylics (if you can find a nail tech that doesn’t use a dremel tool on your nails — that’s creepy) are pretty good. I had an acrylic job where one nail polish lasted almost two weeks. Considering that my nails are usually wrecks after two, three days tops, that’s pretty good.
    I also add my voice for reassurance — I know someone who has seen you in person (in fact she’s why I read this blog), and she says, which I believe, you were hysterically funny. Your speech, not your appearance.
    And I’m sure security will look at you funny — life as a knitter.
    Connie

  195. Well, it’s too late to say anything now besides GOOD LUCK!
    I was just thinking that you should put rubber tips on the metal needles or something. Taking one pair through security is one thing, but taking one for each step out might make them feel a bit funky. On the other hand, if you brought a copy of one of your books along, they might “get it.”
    Let us know how it went! I can’t wait to see it.

  196. Stephanie! They were knitting toilet paper covers today on Knitty Gritty for heaven’s sake!!! You will be great and fantastic and will make so many of us that have never been able to see you at a speaking event so very happy!!! We love you! Just remember that and don’t let that host talk right over top of you! Love those fair isle socks, how about a pattern for them in the future?
    Good Luck!!!

  197. Good luck!
    Will you be making the new sock variation pattern available? If not, I may just have to get out a magnifying glass to figure out what you are doing.

  198. Oh Harlot, you will be wonderful. And I’m sure I speak for all your fans when I tell you that we can’t wait to see you and your beautiful step-outs (socks) on the air! And please let the Knitty Gritty folks know that, because of your upcoming appearance, the show now has a permament RECORD command on my DVR. Good luck!

  199. Congratulations and good luck! I hope airport security doesn’t give you too much grief about all the socks, and all the needles sticking out of the socks…

  200. you’ll do wonderfully, i know it. your socks will be a huge hit and people far and wide will be inspired to knit socks for themselves and others. hey, this may be the one little thing to cause the snowball effect we’ll need for knitters to rule the world. that’d be SWEET!
    p.s. manicures are certainly NOT meant for people who scrub…or do any type of manual labor.

  202. You go girl !!!!!! You’ll do just fine. Can’t wait to find out when this airs so I can tape it and get some good tips from you, as I’m STILL on my first sock:)

  204. I hope you had a good trip and you’re safely ensconced in your hotel now. I’m looking forward to your episode airing – you will let us all know when it’ll be on, right?

  205. I was home today waiting for the Dish Network guy to put in a new receiver, and lo and behold — Knitty Gritty was on HGTV! I’m going to tape it every day and pray that it stays on HGTV since I don’t subscribe to DIY. I’ve read so much about you, I can’t wait to see you in kinda-person! Hope you come to Florida sometime! I just started knitting this year — and you are my idol!

  206. Yo, Steph. I have actually gone on TV with poodle poop in my pocket. I am not making this up.
    I had a mixed poodle for the Adopt A Pet segment one day, and I was wearing my clinic scrubs from the shelter, the kind with the hip pocket on the front of the smock. Anyway, when the studio lights came on 30 seconds before the pet segment and they started moving the floor cams to the Adopt A Pet set, the poodle had a wiggle fit and he crapped all over me, and he caught one of his back feet in my pocket, so most of his deposit landed there. And then the floor manager did the signal countdown. Of course this is all LIVE, so no do-over.
    I have also gotten peed on — doused! — by a really cute Lab mix puppy on live TV … and the adopt a pet segment is on the 5:00 evening news! 🙂
    So whatever you are wearing, just think, “At least I do not have poodle shit in my pocket” and everything will be okay, I promise.
    P.S. — This manicure business must be an L.A. thing. I don’t think they let you into the county without a manicure. I have never had to have a manicure for Adopt-A-Pet, and they do hand closeups, too, ‘specially if I have an adorable little tiny kitten. ‘Course I can always hide my nails in the fur….

  207. Stephanie, I love your hair. You’re adorable. Don’t worry about it.
    I just don’t get manicures. Uh…in both senses of “get.” Weird idea. Who came up with that?

  211. Sending calming, Valium-induced thoughts your way. Not that I’m Valium-induced, I wouldn’t be able to type if I was! Relax and have fun!

  212. We are so proud of you and all your green socks, and we just know you’ll do great. Just wish I could watch it. Remember that even if you’re a bit nervous in front of the cameras, you’ll feel a great sense of acomplishment once it’s over.

  213. Don’t forget to tell us when it’s going to be broadcast!
    Are you going to explain how to do those different colored toes and heels, on the show?

  214. You’ll be wonderful.
    Also, did you know that Lime And Violet listed Knitting Rules as their absolutely necessary one-knitting-book-on-a-desert-island book?
    Just in case you wondered whether or not we love you.
    –K

  215. Long time lurker, first time commenter…
    When I was in massage school, one of my favorite teachers used to say “Nervousness is just excitement without breath” and knowing that always helps me when I feel a little stressed.
    Also, I started to knit socks this weekend. I am not sure if I should blame you or thank you, although I am leaning towards the latter.
    Good luck and good hair!

  216. Gluck on your show ma’am! ^_^ You’ll be fine as long as you don’t put lotion in your hair. Again.
    And I read that someone up there said that you’re going to sunny LA? AHAHAHAHAHA!!! From a San Diegan’s point of view, LA is sunny… if you can see the sun through the smog.

  217. Ok, breathe. Again. Fluff up the hair and forget the manicure. TV makeup people will deal with them. Your job is to breathe. Again.
    Better? Remember, you are the Harlot. You have just knit one zillion green socks the better to seduce all us non-knitters. Harlot’s your name, seduction your game.
    Sashay. Think Dolly Parton but with more attitude. You have a job to do–you are going to convert the world to Sockdom. Stay focused. Breathe.
    You are going to knock ’em dead!
    Jane, cheering you on from Chilly Hollow

  218. Ok, breathe. Again. Fluff up the hair and forget the manicure. TV makeup people will deal with them. Your job is to breathe. Again.
    Better? Remember, you are the Harlot. You have just knit one zillion green socks the better to seduce all us non-knitters. Harlot’s your name, seduction your game.
    Sashay. Think Dolly Parton but with more attitude. You have a job to do–you are going to convert the world to Sockdom. Stay focused. Breathe.
    You are going to knock ’em dead!
    Jane, cheering you on from Chilly Hollow

  219. What a beautiful ring!
    Good luck at Knitty Gritty, you will do great. 🙂 The people on the show and the people watching the show all love to knit…so you are among friends.

  220. You’re well prepared, and your nails are as fabulous as your personality, skills, and socks.
    Hope you totally enjoy the experience!

  221. Do you need my TSA allowable items list. I carry it all the time in my knitting gear bag. Never have a problem. I look at it more as a talisman against the insanely over-vigilant airport security guys. It has worked for me so far.

  222. My manicurist said real fingernails just don’t hold nail polish. Nails are naturally a little oily and the nail polish just won’t stick. Acrylics will hold nail polish.
    She did manage to get my manicure to last a whole 12 hours longer once by cleaning my nails with acetone to dry them out right before painting them.

  224. How do you get your hands to look that great!?! You add that stunning ring and your hands are just beautiful! Sigh! Mine usually look like they belong to an auto mechanic that works with all different colors of oil! (There’s something about each cuticle being a different uncoordinating color that just screams that I abuse my hands LOL!) I do agree with you about manicures not being for people that actually scrub things. I can ruin a good manicure before I leave the beauty parlor. Soooooo, that’s why you get pedicures!!! Hurray for pedicures! you don’t scrub a lot with your feet so they last quite a while, unless you’re a swimmer or someone that likes to do a lobster imitation in the hot tub! Have a great time in LA. You’ll knock them dead!

  226. You will rock, as always. Gotta say I love Rams’ comment….say arse, say arse…ROFL!! DO it! Be yourself and knock ’em dead.

  228. You’ll be great.
    I am so relieved your socks are carry on. When I saw them bagged I sucked in my breath thinking how easily I would misplace them!
    The manicure looks great even if it is high maintenance.
    Maybe it is the knitting that has it requiring touch ups too? Another reason for me to keep my blah hands.

  229. As one who has never seen you live, and only knows you via this blog, I can hahrdly wait to see the KG show. I am on my way to set up my “box” to take you for all my future Knitting enlightenment.
    Good luck in the land of sun.

  230. But you will be fabulous and I will watch all the Knitty-Gritty re-runs for the rest of my life with a smile on my face because you, the person that introduced me to socks, will be demonstrating the process.

  232. You will do great. 🙂 Real women who clean and house work and own kids and a hubby don’t have nice nails. I gave up on that long ago.

  233. Considering I am the one hundred thousandth commenter I know you won’t read this so I can say not only will we see you in reruns but we will also see you in DVR, VHS, BETA (any still out there?) internet repeats and TIVO to name a few. Not to worry, eh?
    Knock em dead.

  235. I second Margaret’s idea. Consider auctioning the step outs. I would pay real money for a genuine Yarn Harlot sock section. Gosh…if you signed it, so much the better. Enjoy your day in LaLaland.

  238. You will be great, but I hope Canadian security isn’t as crazy as TSA can be. But, I gotta tell you, my husband is noticing gold shoes everywhere. We went to the ordination of two deacons (Episcopal) last night. And one of the people carrying up the elements (bread and wine) to the altar was wearing gold shoes. Her clothes and hair were otherwise absolutely appropriate for the occasion. Considering the place was filled with people wearing white robes with red sashes (men and women) and a couple people wore funny hates (miter and beretta), the gold shoes stood out.

  239. Radio does have the advantage of being able to ignore things like the manicure, dozen tops, and bad hair days. Should I say “break a leg” or “break a needle”?
    Are you going to hunt me down for that crack?
    Maybe I should have posted anonymously?
    Going into hibernation now…

  240. Okay, is it just me, or is anyone else waiting for the blog about how a whole bunch of green socks and pointy sticks were taken into custody by Homeland Security at the airport?? ;o)
    Can’t wait to hear how it really went, though!!!

  241. So, when is this airing? I’m fantastically excited, but I don’t have cable, so I MUST know to get someone to tape it! Aahh! Be sure to pack your liquids in your luggage, just to be save.

  243. Your hands look an awful lot like mine…scarily similar. Do you suppose that knitters develop certain muscles in their fingers that make each others hands appear identical? Hmmmmm I keep thinking of that Friends episode where Joey finds his perfect hand twin….Just sayin…

  244. Oh Steph! GOOD LUCK! Knitters everywhere have “got your back” so even if your hair looks like you scrubbed the kitchen floor with it just before going on air (which it won’t, unless you did) we will still cheer with excitement when we see you on Knitty Gritty.
    Wishing that you get a security guard who knits, or at the very least has a Grandma who knits and doesn’t think you are insane.

  245. Well, Stephanie, the manicure is a problem and kind of high maintenance, but at least they didn’t insist you had to wear high-heeled shoes!! After reading half of the comments (why am I even writing another one?) it’s clear that your next production is going to have to be a DVD. . .

  246. just a bit of love – going out to you, in case you check your email late tonight. You are awesome – you are woman, hear you roar.. (lordy, remember Helen Reddy?!)
    We all think that you are fabulous, and it will be all of us who watch the show (translate that, you’re a shoe in to be fabulous) non-knitters will not be watching, and all of us knitters are already biased in your favor.
    P>S> we’re all totally jealous of your manicure. My nails have never looked that good 🙂

  247. don’t worry so much! you’ll be fine—there will be someone else to do the worrying if you don’t; just go and have fun!

  252. Hope the TV thing goes well, but why should I care – we don’t get it in England (sniff).
    I am sure you will be great, not that they deserve it, stinking selfish Americans not sharing all the good stuff while we English sit in our cold matchbox houses waiting for their crumbs. Hardly any yarn shops here you know! Not that they care with their Walmarts, JoAnn’s, Ben Franklins and the like. Huh, bitter, me? At least I know how to spell words like Colour!
    Enjoy it won’t you America? Spare a thought for the rest of the world if you can be bothered.
    And remember that we English have a weird & twisted sense of humour and love the “yanks” really. And the Canadians (mostly) xxx

  253. Speaking as a former manicurist of 6 years, you want to wear rubber gloves when doing anything cleaning related with your hands. You want to keep your hands out of anything that you’re not willing to put on your face as it will dry out your skin, leaving you supseptable to illness and infections that can get into the cracks and cuts in your skin which comes from being critically dry. You touch everything and your skin is the first line of defence against germs. You want to have a good clear top coat with you so that if there’s a chip you can touch up the white and then seal with a coat of clear that you brush over the nails and then across the free edges of every nail. That creates a seal making your nails last longer. And trust me, when they do close-ups of you knitting, women world wide will be looking at your hands and you’ll be glad you had that manicure! Good luck and your hands look perfect!

  254. Hi hands like that i recognise from doing the step by step pictures for my book ‘wire jewelery ‘and doing tv over here on knitting of course .i do not get the knitty gritty show but bet you were brill hopw we met up some day to talk about yrn and yarn and maybe needles and yarn etc enjoy
    Chrissie

  256. You have lovely hands, lovely nails, lovely rings and you understand knitting and all it stands for. What else do you need ????
    Sally xx with love and kisses

  257. PS
    You have made me realise that I am not alone. No-one else understands the concepts of stashes, knitting for the sake of it – never mind if a finished and wearable article is produced – the movement of the hands+needles+yarn is enough.
    Go for it!!
    SallyP
    PS (in brackets) – I still don’t really get the whole ‘sock knitting thing’ – sorry – is it me?.

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