For Craps sake.

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Just wrote you a nice big blog about how much fun it is to walk in Burbank and watch people try to process that, and how agonizing rehearsal is (I think there’s no way I’m going to remember what I’m supposed to say when…and how many people I met when they were here taping and rehearsing…. and the whole thing crashed and burned….links and all. There’s no time left to rebuild it before I leave either. (I have no idea how old I will be when I remember to hit “Save” often enough.) Instead of rushing or screaming or losing my cool about this…I’m simply going to say “oh Crap” and move on. Better post tomorrow.

The producer who rehearsed my highly unreliable self yesterday says I’m totally ready for taping today. I don’t know if she can be believed. I mean, it could very well be that I’m ready and doing a good job, but if I wasn’t …would she say so? I mean, what sort of a person would turn to you at the end of a rehearsal and say “Well. You suck, and I don’t know who the hell booked you on this nightmare, but we’re out of time to try and sort it all out. Unfortunately for us we’re just going to have to hope that your too-short for Hollywood self improves in the night and you get some kind of a freakin’ clue or you and I are both going to be sucking up whatever this train wreck of an appearance does to both of our careers. Sleep well Yarn Harlot, and don’t let the door hit your arse on the way out.”

Or maybe it’s fine. I’ve gotta go. Thank goodness that there’s only one day of rehearsal. I don’t think I’ve got the psychic strength for more.

(PS. Vicki Howell is sort of short.)

170 thoughts on “For Craps sake.”

  3. Sorry to hear of your computer/blog writing woes. Am looking forward to the post you recreate.
    Did they like all the step outs? One bright thought – It’s not live. The director can always say “cut” and do another take. Good luck with the taping.

  5. Hollywood actors are not necessarily tall, and most are fairly short (men around 5’6, etc). Short is not going to get you fired from a tv show guest appearance. Give ’em heck, woman!

  6. Vicki Howell is a nice person in general. Then she stopped blogging when she got her show lol. You will do fine, Oh, Great Harlot!

  8. You will be GREAT. I know this, and really if you watch some other episodes, it isn’t like you have to be Julia Roberts, as long as you can be coherent, you are on your way. 🙂
    Good luck!!

  10. No one will care about facial expressions or the actual words coming out of your mouth silly, it’s all about the MANICURE! (And that’s still holding up perfectly, right? *snicker*)

  11. Huh. I thought everyone in Hollywood was short. When I found out I’m taller than Mel Gibson I gave up on that whole crowd. I’ve seen you – you can’t be shorter than Sarah Michele Gellar or whats-her-name that played Scully. You just weren’t on the sidewalk with the women who play heroines – and that’s the class that you belong with.

  12. Why are you worried? Consider the dreck that’s out there on the airwaves. Any knitting content, even if you do a deer in the headlights, can only raise the standard.

  14. I’ve met all our local TV newspeople, who all *look* normal onscreen, but I swear, must be sitting on two Manhattan phone books when on camera. Maybe you’ll come home, and be watching the episode and be all freaked out by how gangly tall you look on the tube.

  15. Even if you do suck, I’m sure you’ll be entertaining 🙂 But I’m certain that you’ll do a great job. Have fun with it!

  16. Sending extra strength via psychic power from the show’s zipcode just for my favorite harlot. May you have the best Knitty Gritty episode in the history of the show. I hope that your Knitsters are amazing today… I won’t be bitter about a missed opportunity or anything (or maybe I will.. I’ll just take it out on the knitters at our Burbank SNB tonight *wink*).

  17. look how short danny devito is, and he has been a big hit! and his hair is much worse than yours. and i bet he can’t knit a ton o step outs in record time. just let your mantra be “i am bigger than danny devito”… i’m sure you’ll be so much better than you will give yourself credit for..

  18. Whatever you do, don’t wear white, the camera doesn’t like it. I’m sure the associate producers already told you that. You will be great – and at the very least incredibly prepared with all those socks! Take a deep breath and do what you always do, talk about knitting and wing it! Best of luck.

  20. Ah, don’t worry. Like someone else said, it’s not live and they can fix anything in post (trust me, I work at a TV station). Stand on an apple box if you’re too short. It makes you taller and keeps you from dancing back and forth ’cause you’re afraid of falling off. 🙂 I do it when I have to work cameras (doesn’t happen often thank goodness).
    Just remember to breathe and you’ll be fine! Good luck!

  23. Good luck! If things start to go poorly you can always throw a green sock at someone. That might make you feel better!
    I’m sure you’ll be great!

  24. You will do a wonderfull job!! Someone said Knitty Gritty is on HGTV but how come I can’t find it? Do they have different shows here in Canada and in the US for that chanel. I really would like to watch it.

  25. You have nothing to worry about. I’ve seen that show. Their production people don’t know anything about knitting. On Monday’s show, they used the term ‘eye cord’. Please. They wouldn’t dare say anything mean to someone who actually can knit and rather well. *hugs*

  26. Good luck and just remember to speak carefully…don’t rush it! Let your socks do the talking.
    Had to laugh today when they were doing “mosaic knitting” and it was so complex that Vicki was VERY uncharacteristically, speechless. Usually she is trying to re-phrase things, or finish the designer’s sentence. (Sometimes she’s dead wrong, don’t let it throw you.) But today she was really flummoxed.
    You SO rock!

  27. cara said: “just let your mantra be: ‘i am bigger than danny devito … ‘”
    Perhaps your mantra should be: “I am more sober (less drunk) than Danny Devito.” Watch out for those lemon jello shooters!

  29. you will do fine.
    the hollywood types might not realize it, but you will be playing to an audience that loves you, and we’ll love you, even if you mess up..
    besides a perfect performance will leave you heady,and at a loss for words..
    when you blow a line, you’ll have all the more fodder for fun on your blog!
    either you perform perfectly (nice but boring)
    or you Mess up.. and have fun poking fun at yourself.
    either way, we’ll still love you.

  30. It’s Hollywood. Trust me, no one would have ANY problem telling you that you’re stuttering, your lip curls funny on the left side, the camera HATES you, and you appear to have had your nose broken three, maybe four times. Or, at the very least, they’d tell YOU that you were fantastic, but make sure that before you left the lot, it would somehow trickle down to you that they’re thinking of replacing your segment with stock footage of a juggling circus bear.
    Don’t sweat it, you were fabulous.

  32. When we taped episodes of Uncommon Threads at the same studio, they made one of my friends stand on a box. No kidding. So if they don’t make you stand on a box, you’ll be fine! 🙂

  33. Well Vickie Holloway is pretty short – some of her guests just tower over her – I’ll bet she’ll be happy to see a short expert!

  35. Dude, seriously? Chill. You’re a published author selling a boatload of books, you’re a fabulous mother to three beautiful girls, you’re a wonderful wife to a man who loves, adores, and respects you, and you’ve got legions of fans who are going to post on this blog and tell you how wonderful you are whether you believe it or not. If you make any sort of mistake taping a NOT LIVE show, you can just redo the tiny item you may have flubbed, no harm, no foul. The TV watching public will not be the wiser.
    Go in and do your thing. You’re are the master of your knitting pattern. You know your stuff. Just do it.

  36. I’m a tv producer. As a group, we’re ruthless. If you were bad, you’d still be there rehearsing. They’d have you rehearsing until your ears bled and your fingers fell off.
    If it’s any consolation the executive producer, (Joel)of the show was an intern of mine about 30 years ago in Cleveland. So, if he gives you a hard time you can threaten him with stories of his past.
    You’re going to be great. And, it’s just tv!

  37. I’ve heard you speak several times and laughed so hard it hurt every time.
    You’ll be fine. Just be your normal charming and funny self. Remember you can take a ball of string and some sticks and make socks… They can’t.

  38. Short women unite! I gotta hand it to ya, Steph, you have dozens of people commenting here and we all say the same thing: you will do fine, we love you, and we will love the show. Just go on out there and be your Harlotty self and all will be well.
    It’s kinda like having hundreds of mothers: We think whatever you do will be wonderful, dear! *sniffle* First the book, and then the internets and the radio, and now…TELEVISION. *sniff sniff* Our little Harlot, all grown up!
    Can’t help you on blog posts, though. 🙂 As kelly said above, think of it as a rehearsal post. 🙂

  39. My bet is that you’ll be fabulous. I also bet they use a much more colorful word than “Arse” in Hollywood.

  40. If you run across my brother in Burbank (Steve Wellington)Please let him know that he is NEVER getting anything knit from me again until he wears (or even tries on!) the socks I gave him 7 months ago. Thank you.
    Enjoy the sun while you can. 🙂

  41. Stephanie, you will do great :o) I feel confident in that.
    Also just wanted you to know that I’ve just posted a pic (on my blog) of your scarf pattern…I think it was called the 1 Row Scarf or something like that. I’m going to surf your blog to find your post on it so that I can link to it.

  42. Remember Julia Child started all this ” how-to” TV and she dropped a chicken on the floor! You only have socks, so you are already ahead of the game, good luck, you’ll be great and we all can’t wait!

  43. Ah, I see my old friend Nervous Panic has shown up in Burbank for a visit. I always think he looks a bit like Ichabod Crane. No matter though, he leaves soon enough when the performance is done.

  45. I’m pretty computer illiterate, but I think there is a way to automatically save every few minutes. I know this from experience (bad, that is!). Anyhoo, You’ll be wonderfull, and as far as I’m concerned, any post from the Harlot is better than no post. I’m always a little sad when you have to wait a few days between posts. Here’s wishing I got DIY on my cable package. Maybe I can get someone to tivo it for me!!

  46. tell that self-doubt to get outta there!
    and FYI–Vicki wears really really high heels. Amy Singer/Knitty person said Vicki wore 4-inch platform heels when she was there last week. seriously? can you say “OWWWWW”…

  48. As has been said before, your audience will be tuning in for YOU because we love YOU and your humor and your shortness and your manic manicure and your wonderful green socks. TiVos and DVRs around the world will be tuned in and replayed multiple times. You. Simply. Rock.

  49. Don’t worry!
    As soon as you start talking Knitting, you’ll forget about the rest of it!
    We’re very excited to see you, converting all those Hollywood types to true Knitters!
    We’re like your family, anyway: no matter how you do on the show, we’ll always be there for Hot Cocoa and a shoulder when you need us.
    Besides, don’t those Hollywood folks have a reputation for being butally honest, and Harshly to the point?
    If they thought that you, truley, were not the woman for the job, they wouldn’t waist words, they’d lay it on the line!
    We are KNITTERS, hear us ROAR!!!

  50. I’m fighting the urge to find your studio. You don’t need another stalker. I’m sure you were great.
    Apropos of your scarf pattern, I’ve made two, so far. “One row scarf” is much too drab a name for it. I’m calling it “Harlot’s Waffle.”

  51. Keep in the front of your mind the undeniable fact that they hired YOU because they wanted YOU.They want you to do what YOU do. Their jobs are, by definition, to make you look good doing what they hired you to do. Allow them to do their jobs, or fail to do them. You will do your job. It has nothing to do with your height or hair, or even the manicure, which appears to have developed a life,and perhaps a blog of its own.

  53. aw, Burbank – that’s MY airport! live about 5 minutes away. you’ll do great, i’m sure! though you’re probably not getting the best of burbank weather…sorry.

  54. You are so funny and generous…making us laugh when you, perhaps, would rather cry. You’ll be fine, better than fine, you are our beloved Yarn Harlot and you rock!

  56. You’ll be great. We’ll be cheering and no matter what happens you’ll have blog material. Taller than Danny VeVito, isn’t everyone? Just don’t go having a drink before the taping, we don’t need you starting an international incident by calling Bush a “numb nuts” like DeVito did or an arse.

  57. I’m sure you will be grand! I am a new reader and fan … In my experience (theater), it is the rehersals that suck. The actual show goes much better.

  58. I am so looking forward to seeing you on the air………Just need to know when it is to be aired…….did I miss something???????? Like the date??????? Live or taped for the future????? I need to know so I can watch. Anyone out there have the scoop????
    And you will be GREAT——as Tony the Tiger says!!!!
    Claudia

  59. One of the knitterati who also taped a Knitty Gritty show mentioned that Vicki wears 4 inch spike platform heels (in faux leopard). This sounds like a fine Harlot height-enchancing plan. On the the other hand, uh, foot — imagine how many you could hurt or maim when said shoe falls out a hotel window.

  60. People generally look taller on TV. Hell, you may suddenly grow 4 inches tomorrow, even if it is only for 30 minutes.
    BTW–people with freakishly long legs (for instance, my own) also have trouble finding pants that fit. Unlike the more vertically challenged, however, we cannot adequately adjust the length of our pants to feign a proper fit. Instead, we must pay astronomical prices for something bordering on custom made jeans or settle for high water pants that are about 4 inches too short. Sure, people will say, “Yes, but you know that they make ‘long’ pants.” And I reply, “Yes, but not long enough.” BTW–It is more difficult finding pants for tall skinny people than for more voluptuous tall people. Can’t figure that one out since most models are freakish looking tall skeletons.
    Moral of the story, skirts can be very comfortable and very nice.
    Ah, f*** it. I’ll just knit myself some pants.

  61. “Harlot’s Waffle.”
    Perfect name, Marina. I have made 3 so far.
    Can’t wait for the KnittyGritty episode …

  62. Stephanie,
    Deep breaths, you’ll be fabulous. You know socks inside and out…quite literally. Everything else is icing on the cake. I can’t wait to start counting down the days until your episode airs. I have even started watching Knitty Gritty, so know that you brought them another viewer. Relax and enjoy the experience.

  63. My daughter just taped her segment Monday – she had a blast… all the time waiting around tends to kill any butterflies! You’ll do great, just have fun. Everyone was VERY nice and understanding… and Vickie made way more mistakes than my daughter!

  65. Psssh. You are so a hollywood star! You’ll rock the taping!
    And why is it that most people on TV are really short? There’s a weather guy here in Abq that I saw in real life once, he was like 4′ 8″. I couldn’t believe it!

  66. I have set my TiVo to record every episode of Knitty Gritty so that I don’t miss your appearance.
    I’m not going to repeat all the “you’ll do great” that everyone else has said – oh wait – maybe I just did.
    OK FINE – I am sure that you will be your charming witty self and everyone will love you – you will bring oodles of new sock knitters into the fold.
    Barbara

  69. I do not like knitting, so i don’t read about it, but yet i read one of your books and i really liked it,don’t tell my mom!

  70. Waffle! Hey, that’s been my nickname for over 35 years. Oh alright, go ahead use it for your scarf, can’t claim exclusive rights to the name.
    Be happy, don’t worry! The taping will be a piece of cake – um, yarn?

  71. Don’t worry Jay, your secret is safe with us! We’ll never tell…especially if it means you do start knitting… 🙂
    Steph, I don’t get cable (sob) so I’m going to have my mom tape it (yes tape, not tivo, there are folks that backwards still). So we must must must know when it is!!

  72. Stephanie…. even if you looked like a train wreck (which you don’t), all you have to do is open your mouth to charm the pants off of everyone in earshot. I am certain the Harlot charisma… the understated, wooly, quirky charisma all your own, will translate beautifully to TV.

  73. I knew it! Vickie Howell has to be short. Why else would she wear high heels on a knitting show? You’ll do great Steph!

  74. No doubt your appearance will be fabulous on every level. You start out well ahead of some other episodes because you’re NOT, for instance, knitting shoes. That materials list included a pair of shoes to carve up, an electric drill, and something like 54 double pointed needles – for one shoe, not multiple versions of socks. puh-leese.
    Your loyal fans await your air time. In respect to your “knitting as a sport” stance, our group aspires to knit and watch your episode in a sports bar. Could you suggest to DIY that it give you an air time between major U.S. sporting events? =~0

  75. They are in such awe of you, as we all are.
    Even on your worst day you would be brilliant.
    It may be different if you were talking about knitting a house, but you are talking about socks. No one else in this world speaks sock like you do.
    I have said it before, you are the reason I made my first pair of socks. You inspired me to try it even though I had never even worked with DPNs.
    If you can inspire one small person like me with just your words, imagine what you can do for the new knitters who can see you do your thing.
    It will be a great day for knitters everywhere!!
    Stephanie, you rock!
    🙂

  76. Yes, it is very funny indeed to walk anywhere near Los Angeles!
    Good luck, I know you will be great!

  77. Hey Stephanie, d’ya think being short stopped Tom Cruise from becoming a megastar…and he’s a GUY (who according to societal norm is supposed to be taller than the girl)–he just hops on boxes or changes the camera angles–besides, didn’t your mother tell you good things come in small/short packages??!!
    I was in L.A. a gazillion years ago and yes, they DO look at you funny when you walk instead of driving in a car or taking the bus but I guess they haven’t figured out they’d have alot less smog if they walked more and drove less…….
    Bonne chance for today’s taping, we know you’ll knock’em dead!
    Cheers!

  79. I bet you’re a lot more interesting and real than the plastic tv types—I have this stereotype that all hollywood people are shallow and vapid. I guess that makes me a bad person. . . although I doubt I’m wrong.
    You’ll be great!!

  80. rumor has it that tom cruise is very short – and let’s not forget “minnie me” – so how can you possibly be too short? Your inner self will kick in and you’ll rock, like always!

  82. I’m sure you really really know this…but no way you’d be out of rehearsal if producer wasn’t good with your stuff. All sorts of people watched/evaluated what you looked like and how you sounded, stood, etc., etc., (And not just the people you saw in front of you) You ARE a natural, you are bright, funny, fast and slightly irreverant and can knit the arse off of anyone. We will all be tuned in to you and sending delighted, supporting vibes – have a great time.

  83. Breathe – now breathe again. Not big gulps, you’ll hyperventilate!
    Slow deep breath one more time.
    You’ll be fine. Now show them how it’s done!

  84. Com’ON! This is the woman who MARTHA STEWART asked for knitting advice? and you’re worried about a little ol’ tv show…
    Breathe. You’ll be great.

  85. Short people rock on camera… really! And as someone who (like you) almost lost an entire manuscript due to an ez baked hard drive? I can only sympathize at the hungry computer who needed your data.

  86. First, breath. Second, don’t be afraid — it’s more likely THEY are afraid of YOU! After all, these people are just the production staff of a minor cable TV show. YOU — are a celebrity author known to who knows how many millions of people — and writer of an enormously popular blog read by, among others, people in Hollywood.
    In other words, if they insult you, with a few well-chosen lines in the blog, you can squash them — and they will never live it down. Especially if you then add them to the next book.
    You have the power.

  87. Stephanie, you’d better be good. I guess someone failed to mention that if you suck you are doomed to stay in Burbank.(Kidding!)

  88. O Fair Stephanie — there’s a lot of stuff on TV and I, an old woman, am here to tell you that a) you’re cuter than anyone else on TV (well, Danny Devito’s cute but you’re cuter); b) you’re our hero and a supreme knitter par excellence; c)everything is finite – and you’ll be having a nosh and enjoying the praise and applause of everyone in earshot in no time; d) you’re Canadian, you can deal with anything; e) “good things come in small packages”, like diamonds, baby animals, baby PEOPLE, *YOU* (and actually me, a bit shorter than you). My mom told me that. And I add to the general cry of “YOU ROCK!”

  90. What sort of person would say that?
    The sort of person who’s scrambled over the dead bodies long, hard and ruthlessly enough to get to “Producer”.
    That’s who!
    LOL
    Bitter? Moi? Never.

  91. After typing a blog entry, I usually highlight and copy the entire entry before I hit publish–that way in case something crazy happens, I still have everything I just wrote. It’s a nifty little trick.
    I’m so excited that you’ll be on Knitty Gritty! I can’t wait to see it; I know you’ll be fantastic.

  92. Good to know you made and with your sharp little sticks. You’ll do just fine, you don’t suck, I saw you not sucking this summer. 🙂

  94. OMG, you lost a post????
    I have to go lie down for a spell.
    Hey, this chick and the whole TV thing? Big deal. YOU HAVE THREE TEENAGERS.
    You win!

  95. Just don’t say “arse” on the air!
    On second thought, go ahead and say it, then we’ll know we’ve got the real thing!
    You go, girl!
    Abby

  97. Okay, stop using whatever search engine you’re currently using and get Mozilla Firefox. Should something happen and your computer completely crap out on you, upon restarting and opening your browser window, Firefox will tell you nicely that you didn’t close the windows when you left last time and would you like to pick up exactly where you left off?
    When I say “exactly,” I mean if you’d filled in a complex form or were several paragraphs into a blog post when the world came to an end, here you go it’s all right where you left it exactly. I’m sure you’ll find other reasons to love Firefox as much as I do, but let’s start with this one.

  98. I’m excited about the show, especially since I’ll be able to see it! HGTV has started showing Knitty Gritty, so I won’t have to stalk my satellite-watching parents for tapes of the show. The tivo is set! I’m sure everything will be fine…and if it’s not, I’m sure none of us will notice anyway. Good luck! =)

  99. Good luck. That sucks about it crashing. I have problems with that from time to time. I don’t follow the advice I’m about to give, but I recommend it anyway….
    I wonder, what are you using to write your blog?
    If you are using Microsoft Word to write your blog, rather than some sort of Apple program, which is what I suspect you are doing:
    Go up to Tools and Options and go to the “save” tab.
    Make sure the “make backup copy” thing is clicked and put in a time for how often word should make autosaves.
    If you reference a blog often, you can make it into a Macro.
    Then copy paste your entry into your blog loading thing and THEN add the pics.

  100. Hmmm…Vickie Howell is shortish? I totally didn’t see that coming. But, then, when I saw you at Rhinebeck, you were littler than I expected too. Perhaps I have my knitting mentors on a pedastal or stiletto heels.

  101. You will do wonderful. I am sorry you lost your post – but it happens! We have all lived through it. I have to call the cable company and get the channel again now…
    Don’t want to miss the Harlot!

  104. Stephanie:
    Just be your wonderful, “harlotly” self (which, BTW, we all love) and you will be a smash. You are one with the yarn, you know your stuff!. Now go girl!

  105. You are not short…you are a petite hothouse flower, with dainty manicured and accomplished fingers.

  106. I bet your neighbor would have let you borrow her gold heels. Ah well. Don’t try to fit a mold – you are loved just as you are.

  107. Well, the “Pass It On” program seems to be a hit with the follow “Harloony’s” (check out my blog to understand). If you don’t know what I am talking about go and see 🙂
    Stephanie, you too…let me know what you think please.
    As everybody else has said. You will do great and you really shouldn’t worry. The previous shows are not Emmy winners or anything. Just regular people talking about the thing we all love. KNITTING!
    Marly

  109. You’ll be fine and better than fine!
    Is there a way to set up auto-save? I set Windows’ Word to save every five minutes just in case.

  110. Steph – I think your hair is lovely. Do the “couch people” on the show know how HONORED they are to be there when you are????? We’d all kill to be them.

  111. You just made me snort out some valuable beer with the Vickie comment about her being short. Damn you!
    Good luck tomorrow.

  112. You’re just psyching yourself up (or is it out?) for tomorrow. You’ll be fantastic, and everyone will tell you so after you’re done. Although you won’t want to believe it, hopefully deep down you will. You’re gonna kill baby!

  113. Now darlin’….even at your suckiest we will love you…just imagine eveyone naked except for store bought ill fitting socks. And by the way, short people rock, rock, rock! We don’t need stature to be big.
    You are the Yarn Harlot…you can do this.
    We love ya Steph!!!

  114. Any producer who would even think of telling the Yarn Harlot “don’t let the door hit your arse on the way out” ought to get some kind of a freakin’ clue.
    P.S. Dustin Hoffman is kind of short. It hasn’t hurt his Hollywood career yet.

  117. Hi Stephanie,
    I have watched Knitty Gritty for the last few days and, as a former TV producer I can tell you, that yes, Vicki Howell is short–the first thing I noticed–and, more importantly, you could host the show yourself! You have a natural ability to put everyone at ease. You love knitting. You’re smart. And, you’re funny!!!! I saw you in Brooklyn. You were great then, and I have no doubts about your greatness tomorrow. BTW, they’re not shooting live so any mistakes will be edited out. Shooting does take time so be patient. Charm them between takes with your great sense of humor and have fun! Good luck!
    P.S. Remember to say hi to the crew. Talent seldom acknowledges them.
    P.P.S. Who has the step-outs?

  119. I agree with Jen. You know your stuff. You’re warm, funny and talented. You have the tools to do this. Anyone who gets more blog comments than Wil Wheaton must be doing something right.
    That’s all I have to say about that.

  120. You will do great Stephanie. You will be fine if you get nervous just picture Vickie in her undies. It used to work for me every time at Speech Competitions.

  121. You are very brave – I would be having the same anxieties. But I am sure they’re not THAT nice – if they say you did fine and you’re ready, then you’re ready. Plain and simple. Good luck, sorry technology was crapping out on you today.

  122. dang, you know I don’t have a tv. guess I better go check itunes and see if I can buy your segment of KG for $1.99 … if KG even does that. I can get West Wing, and Monk, so I’m keeping my fingers crossed.
    btw, you’ll blow them out of the water. if I was smart, I’d buy some sock stock today. if there was such a thing, I mean.

  123. You know that yarn harlot……..she ‘s kind of short too.
    Bring me some gum , maybe if you read this in time.
    Also if you get bored, you can think, “I wonder what flavour gum Denny would like.”
    You know in case you get bored in L.A. cheers.

  125. Uh, Steph you’re a bit on the petite side too…haven’t you noticed you’re in the land of tall, blond and booby? I can say that because I live here. Good luck – you’re a star.

  126. Honey… rehearsals go much better when you aren’t nervous. Just remember, YOU ARE THE YARN HARLOT. We have BOOKS about you. You have written them. You are like the star of our knitting horde. PWNT!

  127. Are you gonna get up and ride or just lay there and bleed? It’s your rodeo. You call the shots.

  128. While it’s nice and all to know that sometimes someone as good at what she does as you are feels a little insecure about it, let’s be serious here for a moment. You are the Yarn Harlot. You are the queen bee of the knitblogging world. Your name and blog are probably more widely known (and read) than Knitty Gritty is known (and seen). Vicki Howell is almost certainly worrying tonight about how she’s going to look alongside you tomorrow. So, hang in there. You can do this.

  129. Hey, on behalf of the 15 million of us here, welcome to southern California! The weather’s warm and sunny just for you, Stephanie! I love your blog; and your wonderful talent and personality will really come through on television! Cheers, from Daryl Lynn

  130. You can do it! I promise! Even if you think you can’t do it, think about this happening to me: I was once in a play where I was the third person to come onto the stage right at the beginning, proclaiming that what the other two people were saying was the best news to hit the racks since the Depression ended. Instead of that happening (otherwise I wouldn’t be telling this story), my feet had gotten wrapped up in the wires for the sound system while I was back-stage and when I went to go proclaim and run onstage….I fell flat on my face, arm waving with pen in hand and all. On top of that, I bent the plug for some important piece of sound equipment that couldn’t be bent back, so nobody could hear any of the microphones until someone found a replacement cable.
    Imagine me flailing through the air, and laugh.
    Nothing you could do, not even cursing on t.v. could be remotely that bad.

  131. Dearest Harlot,
    I believe what draws all of us Harloteers…is you being real. You will leave us begging for more. It could totally turn into a repeat deal! Sock it to Miss Vickie!

  132. You’ll do great, just as you do when you do book tours. You’ll be funny and down to earth and interesting and informative, and people will learn all kinds of things about green socks, including the fact that they really, honestly, could knit some of their own. And then we’ll all watch the show, and *tell* you how awesome you were. And you know what an honest group we all are!

  135. Actually, re an earlier comment, I’d kinda like to hear you refer to Bush as a numbnut or an arse… But apparently they’re not doing the show in one fell swoop now, and have takes. So they’d be able to edit it out even more easily. Darn! [vbg] I’m sending virtual Xanax, so relax. 😉
    I’d also suggest a timer to remind you to save every 10 minutes if whatever-you-use doesn’t autosave, but that’d probably drive you nuts, anticipating it going off, and make your brain go totally blank. So I won’t. Just say to yourself, “Blogs are like the theater/TV/movies. A lousy rehearsal means a great performance.” (Me, I compose offline in WordPad, paste the final into LJ’s form, add any italics and pix and Bob’s yer uncle. But then I started working in WP on Neolithic computers that carved things on little stone flakes back before Word came on the scene, and saving manually is engraved on my genes by now. Even when a program does it for me. I think they pout about it. ::snerk::)

  136. Sit back, have a beer and relax. Do a little knitting. You’ll be great. We have faith.

  139. You have clearly forgotten one of the cardinal rules of show biz: the worse the rehearsal, the better the show! Being cableless, I will have to find a way to view this wonderous production. Look out, after they see how great you are they may offer you a series of your own! You go, gilr! – Karen

  140. “Too short for Hollywood” – PIFF! We’re all too short for Hollywood (I’m 5’1″ on a tall day). You are the Harlot with the mad knitting skilzz-z-zzz–zzz and you will be awesome. Besides, if there’s anyone in this world who doesn’t think you are wonderful, tell them to kiss your arse. Line starts in the rear, two cheeks, no waiting.
    You will be awesome on TV because I decided, so there.
    Pity about the lost post. I hate that when that happens.
    To quote a song a friend of mine oft sings:
    Always eat when you are hungry
    Always drink when you are dry
    Always rest when you are weary
    Just keep breathing or you’ll die.

  141. You have clearly forgotten one of the cardinal rules of show biz: the worse the rehearsal, the better the show! Being cableless, I will have to find a way to view this wonderous production. Look out, after they see how great you are they may offer you a series of your own! You go, gilr! – Karen

  142. Remember the two words from my last comment? Just in case you don’t (as I understand your memory may feel somewhat overstuffed at this point), they were: you’re beautiful.
    Here are three more: you’re brilliant, too.

  143. I just set my DVr to record Knitty Gritty today – it says the show is about making socks!!! 10am CST. It will be fabulous I am sure! You rock Steph!

  144. have fun on tv! it’s always a wonder to me how short a lot of celebs are… tom cruise, antonio banderas, reese witherspoon, and just recently i saw Bryan Adams… he’s Mini! Perhaps they did that whole Wonka Vision thing.

  146. In re: “Vicki Howell is kind of short.”
    I refer you to the July 6 wisdom of Rachel H —
    “Stephanie? How tall do you think you are?”
    (say arse,say arse,say arse…)

  149. Steph you are awesome and we all love you. I really enjoy Knitty Gritty as well so that episode is sure to be fabulous. Vicki is great, but honey you have LEGIONS of die-hard groupies/fans/harlot-wannabes. We are all pulling for you and cannot wait to see all of the green step-outs! Knit-on sister!
    YOU ROCK!

  152. Oh please, you’ll be fine! As for rehearsal, in my little world of theater, we say bad rehearsal (sp?), good show…embrace it!

  153. This is just nerves. Really, you’ve got it made. Your audience is already in love with you. Smitten, even.

  154. LOL, you’ll do marvelously, and besides, we all adore your socks 😀 glad to hear you made it there (with all the socks and sock bits)!

  155. Now you’ve made me nervous for my taping and I’m only a Knitster! I bet you are great! Can’t wait to see you on the show! 🙂

  156. There are so many short actors. We just don’t see them that way because they’re on the screen. They say Tom Cruise always stood on a box when he stood next to Nicole Kidman. And of course, there’s Danny Davito, and his wife Rhea Perlman, both 5 ft. Don’t worry about height, you will be great. You are the YarnHarlot. And won’t you be sitting down anyway?

  158. Don’t you just love the smoggy sky down here? We’re on vacation at Disneyland, having a much better time than you it sounds. Comming from the clean air part of the world (I live in the Pacific Northwest on the ocean) as we do I would watch how much you walk in this stuff. It could stunt ones growth or something. Have a great taping…I can hardly wait to see it.

  161. I’m so glad to hear you’re participating in the next season of Knitty Gritty! I didn’t know I got DIY until I found out about the series and went looking for it. And yet, even though I’ve only been knitting a year and consider myself an advanced beginner, the show became a yawn-fest in about two weeks. The techniques was so obscure that I didn’t care about them, or I thought the projects were ridiculous, or the ground they were covering was so basic I’ve been over it and back a dozen times. It’ll be great to get some new blood on the show. I mean, I love Vicki and all, but I notice that she rarely wears the knits that she glows about on the show. Hmmm.

  163. A couple of weeks ago I was finishing my final essay of the year, the one that meant i was done and could soon ad (hon) after my name. I was so almost done, and I had to hand it up in the morning and then… we had a blackout. No power. for almost two hours. Not a fun experience, and the best support my family seemed able to give me was ‘I told you to save it more oftne. You should have had a back-up copy.’
    Aaaaargh!

  164. Steph, I’ve been thinking about your post today, and just wanted to remind you that the people who adore you do so exactly _because_ of your “too-short for Hollywood self”, your hair that won’t cooperate, and your so very honest style. None of us are perfect, either . . . and anyone who tells you differently is selling something (or has a psychological need for superiority ;o). You’re like the good friend that so many of us don’t have in real life–the person that proves, on a daily basis, that any one of us can do extraordinary things, create amazing works of art, (dare I use the T word?) transcend the slouchy “anything goes” world just by doing one’s best.
    Sarah Jessica Parker (or any other “star”) isn’t a “real” person in the way that you are. She’s the product of a makeup artists, a hair artist, a wardrobe specialist, a whole team of camera men, and . . . (need I go on?) You get the idea. You are Stephanie–funny and earnest and most of all, Real.
    I’m sure that you’re gonna knock ’em dead . . . :o) And I’m thinking I’m going have to get a friend tape the show for me so I can watch you in action. (No TV here . . . too many young minds for it to corrupt. :o)
    Sleep well, and have a safe trip home.

  166. Always remember, and never forget that you are reality and they are fantasy. Tangability is everything.

  167. I was just over at The Crochet Dude’s site (found through Crazy Aunt Purl) and there you are! In a photo with The Crochet Dude! I don’t know which one of you I’m more excited for! Whee!
    Ahem. I maybe need to get a life because I’m way too excited about this.
    I also wish that Knitty Gritty was shown on a Canadian channel because if I got to see you, and The Crochet Dude and Annie Modesitt on my teevee all at once I could die a happy woman.

  169. Love your photos and comments about your taping. I think it is a once in a lifetime opportunity and you did fabulous as we can see! Congratulations! Cannot wait to see the new show aired.
    Vanessa in Upstate NY

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