Also I will miss him

Joe left this morning, out early for a holiday with his mum.  (That’s right, I holiday with my mother, and he holidays with his. That’s because we’re adorable.) I love it when he’s gone.  I know that sounds wrong, but I do. It’s like a little vacation here too.  Joe gets lots of time when he’s home and I’m not, but it hardly ever goes the other way, and it’s hard for me to even articulate what I love about it without making it sound like I don’t like it when he’s here – which I totally do, but being entirely alone in my own home is so novel that I can’t help but gleefully embrace it. I suppose it’s possible that it’s a holdover from the years the girls were little, when I was never, ever alone, or maybe my mum is right, and it’s one of the consequences of being the eldest child, but I can’t tell you of the simple joy of waking up in a house alone, of eating what I want when I want without considering what anyone else would like, of not negotiating for the bathroom, and not having to talk to anyone for a whole day if that’s what I choose.

It’s not like I have big plans for this time – I have lots of work to do, and lots of commitments with the family over Easter, but there’s a few things I’ve been thinking up to do while I was alone.

1. Hang up all the pictures that we took down when the house got painted a while ago.  I’m going to hang them anywhere I want to. It’s not like Joe would stop me, or probably even care where I hang the pictures, but it feels delicious to not even ask.

2. Reorganize Joe’s dresser. Every time he opens one of the drawers and I see that he’s got tee-shirts, shorts, pants, socks and underpants all mixed in together it gives me the screaming heebie-jeebies.  He swears that this system is fine, but I think he’s just willing to live with it so he doesn’t have to organize it. With him gone, I can touch all his things and put them proper order.  Joe has no idea how much he’s going to love it.  (Also, by the time he reads this, it will be too late.)

3. Eat things that Joe doesn’t like.  I can’t think right now of what that would be, but as soon as I think of it, I am going to do it.

4. Knit. Okay – I do that anyway, but I am going to do it alone.  Hey, did I mention that I finished that cowl/infinity scarf?

diamondcowldone3 2015-04-03

Pattern: Diamonds Go Around. Yarn: A Bevy of Swans DK in Pompey (that’s the brownish one) and Parted.

diamondcowldone 2015-04-03

It ended up just long enough to go twice around my neck, which I think makes it a scarf, not a cowl, according to what you all said in the comments.

diamondcowldone2 2015-04-03

I love it a lot, which is a little sad, because it’s a gift for a friend. I am consoled by knowing that I have another two skeins of this yarn to make another one for me. Someday.  First I’m finishing the Phi For You shawl, which is only about 5 long rows from done.

phiforyoualmost 2015-04-03

Can’t wait to show you the whole thing, because it’s totally charming, and also – not for me – and that’s okay, because that particular shade of purple and I have an uneasy relationship.  I’m also pounding out a tiny surprise, but you’ll have to wait to see that.

5. I am going to sleep in the middle of the bed. Or maybe diagonally.

6. With all the covers.

I’m so looking forward to the next several days.*  What do you like to do when you’re alone? Do you like it? What tiny pleasures do you find in solitude?

*with one exception, but I’ll tell you about that tomorrow.

222 thoughts on “Also I will miss him

  1. Having lived with my husband, 2 boys, MIL and BIL, I *totally* understand the pleasure of having the house to yourself. On those rare occasions, I swear, I just wanted to run through the house naked just because I could. My favorite thing about those moments was the *silence*…of just being able to sit, breathe and *think*. Enjoy your time!!!

  2. My husband travelled for work a lot, and when the kids were little, it could get stressful, particularly because some of his work still came home and I had to deal with it. So whenever I got alone time, I looked forward to it like crazy. Sometimes it met my expectations, sometimes it didn’t. The best thing about is is not having to take another person into account for anything – meals, music, routines, use of the car if he was flying. I used to tell myself that some day I was going to get more alone time than I needed or wanted, and that has also come true. Being alone is wonderful, especially when you know it’s going to be temporary.

  3. I love having the house to myself. LOVE it. Every Tuesday morning Ron goes to town early in the morning to record his radio show and I, the ultimate non-morning person, willing get up at 6 am and frolic and do whatever the hell I want for those 2 hours. Pure bliss.

  4. My husband is an RN submariner so spends a good few months a year underwater. I totally miss him when he’s gone (like I’ve got a limb missing) but I actually enjoy some parts as well. Not having to look after the kids by myself and do everything round the house, but starfishing in bed and having control over what’s on TV is pretty awesome. And by the time it gets old, it’s homecoming time and we appreciate each other more for the separation. Enjoy your alone time!

  5. I totally get what you are saying. I still live at home with quite a few people around and being home alone is deliciously unusual.

  6. I can’t begin to describe the relief you’ve given me from the guilt I’ve had over the years from enjoying my husband’s travel (usually to somewhere on the other side of the globe). He doesn’t do it much anymore, but I used to love MY time. Time to turn up the radio while cleaning the house, eat tofu, go to bed with a clean kitchen and wake up with it still clean, and best of all, knit with my audiobooks and no earbuds. Enjoy!

    • Going to bed with the kitchen clean and then waking up with it STILL clean is one of my favourite things when my husband is out of town!

      • +1. Not just going to sleep with a clean kitchen and waking up with a clean kitchen, but cleaning up after dinner and looking at the clean kitchen all evening.
        Also, “dinner.” A bowl of cereal is my favorite alone-dinner. Strangely, my husband thinks that cereal is for breakfast.

  7. When I’m alone, my favorite thing is counting rows or stitches without having to say, “shhh….I’m counting.”

    I really enjoy eating dinner on our bed like I’m having a picnic, but I do that whether The Husband is home or not.

    • Oh, my. When I read this post earlier, before there were comments, I was thinking how much I usually enjoy the time I spend with my husband, but tonight he went out and as I was counting stitches I thought to myself: “THIS!”

  8. My husband was a traveling salesman from before we got married (1976) until about 2009 so I got very used to having the house all to myself, sometimes for nearly a week. Then he retired and since then his ability to go out and about on his own has dwindled until now when the only time he goes anywhere is when I take him. I crave even an hour alone in the house. He naps but that’s just not the same as having not another soul around. Don’t get me wrong, he’s the most amenable of men but picking food to eat and when, choosing what to watch or not, having nothing making noise but the furnace; I miss those things, and they’re what I do when he’s away or taking a really long nap.

    Knit, eat when and what you want, sleep on all the bed with ALL the covers, and be really glad when he comes home. Enjoy!

  9. So glad I’m not alone here!! My husband works out of town on shifts of varying length. This current one is ten in and four off, and I kind of love it. We are coming off a two week vacation and I’m kind of ready for him to go back to work. Don’t get me wrong, I love having him home, I love not having to do everything by myself… But I also like watching TV when I want to (he hates TV), and I like sleeping with the fan on with all of the quilts. And I like having cereal for dinner.

  10. With both of us being retired, I get very little alone time in the house anymore. I really miss it and savor the hours I do get! One thing I like is eating what I want, when I want. And watching tons of HGTV home shows and wedding dress shows and so on – without having to be asked “is there something else we can watch”!

    Linda in VA

  11. I have always enjoyed the times when my husband goes hunting with his friends. They are go off for varied lengths of time from a 3-day weekend to a 2 week trip. I really enjoy those times – no more catering to his restricted diet requirements. I eat Chinese the whole time he’s gone since it is not on his “meal radar” at all. I can knit or get involved with a book and play my favorite classical music; salads can be made for both lunch and supper if I want. And, just about the time I find myself looking for something to do, he’s home with plenty of stories to tell.

  12. My greatest pleasure when I’m alone at night is to have the bedroom window open, even in the middle of a Northern Michigan winter, and my bed warmed with an electric heating pad [just til I get into it]. It’s so luxurious to be it’s almost sinful.

  13. I totally get the alone time thing. I love love love my time alone. The tv stays off, I can do what I want without thinking…it’s awesome. My girls are 16 and 13 and my hubby is an over the road truck driver. I love them with all my heart but it’s nice sometimes to not have to worry about anyone but yourself! Enjoy it!!

  14. Being able to listen to the music I want and ONLY. the music I want is my absolute favourite alone time treat! Oh and leaving my knitting on the kitchen table and finding it in the exact same spot when I go back for it .

    • You should see my kitchen table RIGHT NOW!! My husband is away, the yarn and project are right where I left them and the music stand I am using as a chart rack is stuck right in front of his chair! Ha! And I am making huge progress because anytime I have a minute I can sit down and start exactly where I left off. It is brilliant.
      PS. I do love him and will move it when he is due back but for right now the space is mine, all mine.

  15. Soapbox moment: Okay, okay, I know. Who really cares? Apparently I do. I’d like to point out that Ravelry doesn’t even have a category for infinity scarves. It has a scarf category, which is a long piece with two ends. And it has a cowl category, which is a tube of any length. Case in point, the hugely popular Honey Cowl or Gaptastic Cowl. These have been around much longer than this new “inifinity scarf” misnomer. The original idea was taken from a cowl, made larger to loop more than once around the neck. I never saw “infinity scarf” until some retailers started using it. Probably it marketed better than the word “cowl” Phooey. They’re cowls.

  16. Starfish is the best. I love being home alone, at least for a few days (if having two cats wanting to sit on me is ever “alone.”) I especially like being able to read in bed until I fall asleep without someone muttering at me to turn off the light. Then I get lonely. want my husband back home, and even am not totally unwelcoming when one of the offspring threatens to move back in – again.

  17. I too am the oldest child and LOVE being alone. I do not have any kids so that is not why I like it when my hubby is gone. When he is gone, I watch whatever I want on TV (usually scifi or police procedurals, or Jane Austen movies) that he won’t watch with me. I also order pepperoni pizza with OLIVES because he hates olives and I love them. I stay up way too late every night binge watching TV. After about three to four days I really start to wish for him to come home and save me from my excesses and sleep deprivation (I stay up late but still have to get up for work and all that).

  18. My husband and one daughter are home right now, and I’m trying desperately to think of a way I can keep them out of the family room (ironic) for awhile so I can gather my thoughts for a bit and not be interrupted. I absolutely love and need some solid quiet once in a while and it’s been too long! Might sneak a few rows of knitting in too, if I can pull it off.

  19. So I have this vision that my upcoming maternity leave is going to be like being home alone, even with a husband and pre-schooler returning home at the end of the day. Namely I’ll not have to check work e-mail, I’ll get to nap as much as I want, and I pretend that I will get to knit and quilt as much as I want because the house will stay immaculately clean and my life won’t be repeating itself every 2-3 hours. Talk about a grandiose delusion, but I can’t seem to shed the idea that three months will be perfect.

    • Yeah… I’m currently reading this while nursing my six week old. I haven’t found much opportunity to knit or quilt. But,there’s lots of reading time.

  20. Oh my! Someone else feels just like I do – amazing and wonderful and so very freeing! Hubby retired 5 years ago and has been spending May-October on the east coast living on our boat. I would take my vacation of 4-6 weeks and join him and then come home and wait for him to come home. It was such a great change of pace for me – I loved it (and felt so guilty for loving it). Well last year I retired and now things are all topsy turvy. I spent about 6 weeks aboard with him last summer, but this summer we are moving our boat from MA to FLA and this will mean no more time alone. I will regret this, but I am also totally psyched at the prospect of leaving the Colorado winters to spend a few months sailing in the Bahamas! Maybe it will prove to be a good trade off for the lack of alone time – we’ll see. ~chris

  21. When the mister’s out of town for some reason I am always compelled to stay up really ridiculously late at night, which is funny because normally I turn into a pumpkin by 10pm. I’m thinking maybe as the solo parent in the house when Dad’s away, it’s my brain’s way of compensating for the lack of quiet/alone time during the daylight hours? I also enjoy full control of the TV remote and rolling myself into a snug cocoon using the bedcovers when I finally do manage to go to bed.

  22. Sigh. Alone time . . . What a beautiful dream!
    Anyway, eat what you like, and only what you like! My husband hates both Jello and angel food cake, so on those rare occasions when he’s gone for a day or two, I’ll make an angel food/jello layer cake (fiddly, but oh so worth it! :))

  23. I adore being alone. After having lived in a bustling household most of my life, the quiet days never lose their charm for me. And those just happen to be the best knitting days too!

    • Me too, Samantha. Not that I wouldn’t mind company if I ever found the right mate for me, but being happy alone makes me feel strong, and I’ve learned to love myself a lot more by doing it.

    • Me too! I miss my DH (who passed in 2001) but I’ve learned to LOVE being alone and being happy with ME (and my 2 cats!)…

  24. My husband has worked away from time to time for all of our 30 year marriage. It was hard when my daughters were little, but as an only child I “need” some me time.

    And I like to sleep diagonally across the bed.. It leaves room for the cats!

  25. Isn’t it remarkable how a little bit of something can be a treat when you’d never want a whole lifetime of it?

    I knit while listening to the music I like, on the computer that no one else is using. And I read without interruption. Bliss.

  26. 1. Going to bed at 2am and rising at 10.
    2. Sleeping diagonally, hugging his pillow.
    3. Chocolate for lunch.
    4. Not having to tidy up until a couple of hours before he’s due home.
    5. Knitting during the day without feeling guilty that he’s gardening.

  27. I’m the middle child of five, in a family that had as many or pets as kids, and have always required solitude. I think this need has only increased as I’ve grown older and have to interact with people…and other things not in my control ;).
    I’m a writer and my husband is musician. We adore each other but love it when the other goes off so we can work on projects and go a little “feral.”
    I love being with people and I love being alone. I love being a little lonely and missing someone…makes the writing desk more attractive.
    Not speaking is a big fav of mine whilst alone–simply observing and listening to the world around is restorative.

  28. I live alone, with an indoor kitty who frets over me when I sleep past the alarm clock, and an outdoor kitty who hasn’t stopped growing yet…so not so much alone. But I take an inordinate amount of pleasure in staying in hotel rooms alone when I’m traveling. It always feels like a treat, and I tend to do a lot of knitting while sitting in the giant bed that a nice housekeeper made for me.

  29. Amen Sister!!! Don’t feel guilt about enjoying being alone. I’ve had a husband that was never around & one that I couldn’t chase away for even one evening & I have to admit, I hated never being alone. I will never live with anyone, ever again, because I enjoy the solitude a lot. To knit to Audiobooks out loud?? Oh yes! To eat my supper in pyjamas while watching ‘Call the Midwife’? You bet. To NOT hear a TV for a whole week?? Delicious. To use the bathroom whenever I want for as long as I want?? Yes! Enjoy it Steph, time spent apart gives you something fresh to talk about when you’re together.

  30. I really feel like I ought to comment, since I’ve been reading your blog ever since I discovered it mayba half a year ago. I’ve been reading it from the newest posts to the oldest ones, currently am in year 2004. It’s quite odd how your girls just keep getting younger and younger. My husband kept asking me what makes me laugh, now he knows already that it’s most probably this blog. I love it. Love the knitting but even better it is because you talk of everything else too, and of stuff that clearly makes people talk! (I love alone time too.)

    Gotta say my favorite post so far has been the old one where you were convinced that you could knit a mitten with Finnish instructions. I’m Finnish so I guess thats what made it so funny to me.

    I’m having my first baby soon and wanted to get your book to take with me to the hospital if I happen to need something to do there, besides look at my little boy. Shipping from USA to finland was crazy expensive but finally found one from UK and now its on its way, can’t wait. Got the Yarn Harlot..

    Okay this comment is getting extremely long so I better quit. Maybe I’ll be back to comment again, I’m usually lousy at that. Ill definitely be back to read.

    Ps. Been so great to read anything bout Toronto, its one of my favorite places in the world.

    • — shipping free anywhere in the world from the UK. I can’t really help you with knitting, but I know my books!

  31. I lived alone for many years before I married, and there are things I miss. Like vacuuming or playing music at 1 am if the mood strikes. Throwing in a DVD and watching TV and knitting without people wandering in and out and talking over the show. Some foods (I have never understood what he has against tuna casserole!)

  32. When my early risers are gone, I sleep as long and as late as I like. It always amazes me too that the kitchen stays clean and there are leftovers when I cook!

  33. I too love my time alone. He feels guilty leaving me to fend for myself (I’m not a great cook) so I get all sorts of treats left for me. I get to turn off the TV. I get to totally concentrate on my knitting because I don’t have to answer his question there and then. I get to read nonstop for hours at a time without interruption. I get the bed to myself. I get the paper to myself. And I get to enjoy the homecomings.

  34. I live alone with (at least) weekly visiting now 3-yr-old; when I go to conferences (even fun ones, like knitting), I have to arrange some alone time. I remember a retired friend who told me his wife informed him that she married him for better or worse, but not for lunch–so he always found ways to be elsewhere part of the day. And my aunt and uncle, who had both lived alone, but lived together happily many, many years–he went to bed early, got up very early; she was a night owl and liked to sleep in. Each thus had a couple hours of alone–and my aunt was brought a fresh cup of tea in bed to start each day. I think what I like best is never having my decisions second-guessed.
    and since I’m rambling: I think of it as “infinity cowl” if its joined with a half-twist to make a moebius strip. Otherwise its a cowl if a tube, a scarf if not. I am not ruler of the universe, though, and if it’s clear what shape your object is, call it what you like, world.

  35. My husband spends several months each year (in batches of two or three months) overseas and I enjoy the time he’s gone. We’ve been married a long time so a little space now and then is not a bad thing. I also enjoy the “my day to do with as I want” feeling even though I can usually do that anyway. My schedule becomes very strange but fun and I find I sleep like a starfish.

  36. My husband travels about once a month, sometimes for only 2 or 3 days and sometimes up to 2 weeks. I LOVE being alone! I love not having the TV on from the minute he comes home (if it looks remotely like a sport, he’ll watch it). I love being able to eat what I want when I want. I work from home, so I can keep all the odd hours I want to (I’m a night owl anyway). Sometimes I buy things that he hasn’t been overly enthusiastic about when I’ve mentioned getting them. After he comes back, I’ll tell him I did it and he always responds positively. Go figure! What I like to do most is clean out closets and dressers. If I take all the contents of our bedroom closet and toss everything on the bed to reorganize, sometimes I don’t finish by the end of the day. When he’s gone, I don’t have to pick up the mess until I’m ready. If I’m not done by bedtime, I just go sleep on the couch or in the guest room, then finish up the next day. I do still have to answer to the cats, but with the kids grown and out of the house, that’s pretty easy!

  37. I cook dishes my husband won’t eat…one weekend I made five kinds of curry. Or I live entirely on cold cereal and Taco Doritos.

  38. What is this “alone time” you speak of? I’ve not had time to myself since Little Man was born in November 2010. It’s even less now that Stormageddon came along last September.

    With that said, my pseudo-alone time is at night when everyone else is in bed. So, I can’t often do much other than knit…which suits me just fine, thank you very much. It’s also when I get some of my pattern writing done (which usually ends up with me staying up way too late, as was the case last night). ::sigh::

    • Yep. I think it’s an urban legend. I have a highly extroverted 4 1/2 year old and a six week old. And, since I have a high sleep requirement, I go to bed as soon as the baby lets me and get up when the preschooler demands. I even used up much of my family help with an unexpected long hospital stay. I’d trade quite a bit (but, fortunately, not my children) for even a couple hours alone right now.

  39. Now that both my husband and I are retired it is rare for me to have the house to myself for long. If I have a weekend alone I sleep as late as I want, eat when I want, binge watch TV, and generally be non-productive….with the exception of knitting of course.

  40. I love being home alone. There is something so delicious about the silence. Not that I don’t love having my husband and teenager around, but they both have to have background noise, so the tv is always on. I’m also the kind of housekeeper that has to have no one around while I clean, so I like to turn up the music (so much for the silence!) and do the heavy duty cleaning when no one is around.
    On the other hand, I’m home alone today, but it is *so* nice out, I sat on my front porch with the dog, and knit for several hours. That was pure luxury let me tell you.

  41. What is this “alone” you speak of? Are you absolutely positive it exists?? (I have a two year old, a husband, a dog and two cats. Even if the humans are out of the house, I’m still assaulted by the needs of the furry ones.) I can’t even type a comment without a toddler trying to “help”. Someday… Someday.

  42. Being a second born child, I’m not big on alone time. I like having someone around. But once in a blue moon I take off on a little adventure all by myself. A dance workshop, a knitting workshop, or just a trip to the local nunnery where they feed you and leave you alone for the whole weekend. We are both retired so my spouse & I are home together a lot. Fortunately he’s the solitary type, so I bug him more than vice versa.

  43. Do whatever I want without being/feeling judged! There’s a reason I live by myself – I can cook food in my jammies in the middle of the afternoon without people randomly showing up, I can take up the entire living room floor to block something, I can go to bed at 8PM or 3AM and no one will be any wiser, I can litter all my different mugs everywhere (yes, they all have slightly different purposes and each see use almost every day), etc. Oh, and I can be as anal as I want about the kitchen. That’s a nice perk.

  44. Hubby and I each lived alone for many years before we got married. Being home alone is a delicious treat for each of us. It also helps keep being home together wonderful. When he is traveling I enjoy the foods he doesn’t care for and keep my schedule on my time which is shifting everything about 90minutes earlier in the day than he prefers. Enjoy!

  45. My partner travels a bit for work. While my children are young enough that his absence creates a lot of problems for me schedule and exhaustion wise, I love the chance to be properly in charge. I can organize our time however I like (the bloke doesn’t much like a full schedule) and spend my evenings when the kids are in bed watching whatever I want on TV.
    I completely get the contradiction of missing him and wishing he was home with loving him not being there. It’s a big improvement over the dread and resentment I used to feel!

  46. I clean the house and then enjoy the lack of a mess and do what I want when I want. Love to have the house to myself. But love it when the family returns, too!

  47. The food part. The eating whatever I feel like and when I feel like it. Just last night I thawed some persimmon puree and ate it right in front of him. (with his thanks that I didn’t offer him any, because, as we both laughed, there would be no point.)

  48. OMG – home alone is the best! Love my husband but *LOVE* having the entire house to my self and nothing to do for anyone but me. No cooking, cleaning, laundry. Watch what I want on the tube, not bad sci-fi. Eat scones for dinner and left over Mex for breakfast. Lay on the *entire* couch to read, instead of hunched up in my corner of it. The BEST!!!

  49. I love being alone. I miss it dreadfully, having a four year old by myself. I love her to pieces, but the joy of not having somebody WANT something from me every 90 seconds is blissful. To actually do things when *I* am ready to (wake up, eat, sleep, start knitting, stop knitting). Not that I do anything vastly different, but the difference in being waking up and being woken is huge. Or stopping knitting because I finished the shaping, not being called away in the middle. And I’d get to take hot baths, not lukewarm ones. And drink hot coffee. In silience. I would have a big sort out and just watch things stay where I put them. And make coffee cake. Enjoy your solitude!

  50. I do enjoy days sans husband, and I do the things you outline, mostly in my sweats. Just the idea that for a few days I am not on someone else’s schedule is lovely. I find that I stay up way too late, watch way to TV and eat all the wrong things. I also do things that are messy, that, if husband were home, I would feel compelled to tidy up mid-project. I hope you have a lovey few days and welcome Joe home refreshed!

  51. I love that I can eat what I want when I want and can go about my day without having to consider someone else…ahh. And the kitchen stays clean when I clean it.

  52. I totally agree. I’m the oldest. Raised four kids, helped with grandkids… I miss having the crazy household, but LOVE alone time when it comes. Michael works from home these days and travels to the office a few days every month. I, too, have my list of stuff to get done, stuff that meets resistance when he’s home but he’s glad gets done when he’s gone… but mostly I do as everyone else. I have my own schedule, popcorn for dinner, sleep in the middle of the bed. But what I find frustrating is not getting everything on my list done! By the time I’ve totally relaxed into aloneness (which takes me a couple of days), he’s back! I’d say that I have to be more disciplined, but that kinda defeats the whole idea, doesn’t it?

  53. I love having the remote control all to myself. Not that would even watch much TV, but if I want to watch a sappy movie and cry to my hearts content, I don’t have to hear any one grumbling about a hockey game.

  54. I love that when I’m home alone when I clean something up it stays clean until they come back.

    And then I make risotto and watch Jane Austen movies all night.

  55. I love to knit and watch horror movies or stupid romantic comedies while drinking wine. I melt insane amounts of cheese on my food and sleep diagonally in my bed when I am alone. It sounds silly, but I love it.

  56. I so love having the house to myself, I often wonder why I EVER got married. especially now that he’s retired and around ALL. THE. TIME. enjoy our ME time, I’m envious

  57. I love my husband. He is my best friend, and there’s no one on earth I’d rather do things with.
    Which has nothing to do with the fact that I wish he’d leave me alone in the house a lot more often.
    I am an introvert. I relish my time alone, and need it to recharge so I don’t bite people’s heads off. But there is never a moment of silence at work, and never a moment alone at home. I can’t tell you how often I spend lunch in my car, parked in a shady spot on a side street, gritting my teeth with annoyance when another car drives by because it is NOISE. In my SPACE.
    Yeah, I love being home alone.

  58. This is so timely! I also have a job where I’m on the road a lot (I’m an artist doing about 30 shows a year all over the US) and my husband just left for a rare week away to visit friends. And I swear I acted like I’d never been home alone before. I ate candy for supper! Stayed up past midnight reading a book! Slept in the next day and pretended it was a snow day! Good thing he doesn’t leave me alone more often LOL! 🙂 But enjoy the time you have to yourself. It’s a totally decadent thing to have, so revel in it!

  59. I am the oldest of four, and the mother of a four year old and a one year old. I have really no idea what it’s like to be alone. Do you get to poo without a commentary? Because that would be ace!

    • No kids here, so you’d think we could bathroom in privacy, but no, we have cats. I don’t know if they’re critiquing one’s technique or just cheering a person on, but all bathroom trips tend to be completely supervised!

  60. On the only occasion he was away from home overnight without me (he was in the hospital) I felt very guilty but the first night I ate liver & onions with bacon, the second salmon with asparagus and the third cake for dinner. It felt rather good but would have been better without the guilt.

    Enjoy the alone time!

  61. Yeah to both emotions… missing him like crazy and loving the alone times. My husband goes on extended camping/canoe trips with his buddies several times a year (any where from 3 days to over a week). And of course I miss him, but to have that time to myself is as important to me as this bonding time with his guy friends is to him. Maybe it’s being the oldest child? Maybe it’s a late in life marriage?
    And there are a few behavior changes… I eat junk food and things he doesn’t like. Or I might eat a sandwich for breakfast and eggs for dinner. When he’s home I go to bed when he does, but when he’s not there I’ve been known to stay up all night! And when I do go to bed I definitely sleep diagonally. With all the pillows. And the shades drawn.
    And when I’m really missing him… this is sappy, but I have an old voice mail form him on my phone. I listen to it now and then.

  62. I go to sleep with music playing and many of the other things that others have shared. Cook what I want or not cook at all. Pile my books, knitting, computer, tea or coffee on the vacant side of the bed, and dabble with whichever I want until I fall asleep.

  63. Oh, I feel you on this one! I love my husband. I adore the man. He’s kind and sweet and he brings me pizza sometimes. He’s put up with me for 25 years now, which my mother found to be simply amazing. But every now and then I need him to go away long enough for me to miss him! Weekends with an empty house usually involve Fish and Chips (which he hates) and marathon binge-viewing of the kind of TV shows that he teases me relentlessly about. Absolute bliss.

  64. It takes e a while to settle into “alone” so I drift or wander the house for several hours, going from window to window. I can’t concentrate on doing something I want to do and can NEVER think of anything other than KD to eat as a treat!
    I hate being in the house by myself at night and usually leave lights on all over.

    I know …
    I am the weird one!

    • No Donna, you’re not the weird one. Some folks don’t need or like that kind of time. But if you know you’re going to be alone, you might find that making a plan ahead of time helps. And there’s nothing wrong with leaving lights on! Chris S.

        • Start planning now for the next time. lunch with a friend, a workshop or class, a reading at the local library, have a tea party with sisters/friends, find a new recipe to try. Tons of stuff to do “not alone”. Good luck!

  65. I love being home along and able to “go diagonal” across the whole bed! I like to be able to turn the ceiling fans on or off according to my whims and to have an extra serving of what-ever because I made too much for just one!

    My Music, My Temps, My Food, My Tea, My Quiet.

    What else is there? Peace!

  66. While my husband and I were dating, we lived on completely different sides of the US. We got used to having individual time to just relax. Now that we live together and have a small child, I never have the house just to myself and I crave an hour long bath with a glass of wine and eating whatever I want in front of whatever movie I want. My husband is currently on a work trip for the first time since our daughter was born (18 months). She’s sleeping and I’m eating popcorn and watching a horrible movie my husband would hate. It’s so lovely.

  67. I also LOVE having the house to myself. Clean kitchen that stays that way and no t.v. noise is at the top of my list. I usually spread my projects and books (more reference then novels) all over the house flitting from thought to thought as the spirit grabs me. However, I do take it one step further. I take an semi-annual trip by myself. Usually to some dessert location because I love it and he had no interest (maybe now he does). This is the ultimate in doing what ever you want when ever you want and it is the best thing ever. I have even just camped in a completely empty campground for a few nights (I am from Minnesota; cold doesn’t bother me – usually). Highly recommended!

  68. I too felt the way most of you feel when I was alone in the house. My husband would travel pretty often for work, and when he was gone I would leave my books, knitting, etc. on his side of the bed for easy access. He had a shellfish allergy, so my three children and I would enjoy shrimp and lobster meals when he was traveling.
    Last year he died suddenly, and I am alone all the time now. I can eat what I want, knit when I want, do anything I want, except have him back with me. So, enjoy the alone times, but always cherish the time together.

    • Oh Denny my heart goes out o you and your children
      that is definitely the flip side of wishing for some time alone

      • my husband has Parkinson’s disease and he’s ten years older than I am
        I have an actual fear of the lone time I know is an inevitability

  69. I used to be so jealous of my unmarried sisters. I went from living at home with my parents, to an apartment with roommates, to married, so I have never had a place that was just mine. When talking to my sisters about how jealous I was of all the things they could do because they didn’t have to consult (or agree) with anyone, they reminded me that it was also very lonesome to come home every day to an empty house.

    So, a little “vacation” where I’m the only one at home seems to be the best of both worlds! I do a lot of the same things you do – get up and go to bed when I want to, eat when and what I want, watch whatever TV show I want, read a book or go to a movie or do whatever I want for entertainment – the sky (and my pocketbook) is the limit! I enjoy it for the pure selfishness of choice to please only me. Like you, I miss my husband when he’s not here, but I cherish the (limited) time I have to myself.

    • I, too, am one who loves the alone time, but as I have a number of friends who are widows, I try to be careful about expounding on the joys of being alone and am acutely aware that I can enjoy it because I can be pretty sure my husband will be home at the appointed time. I am so sorry for your sudden loss.

  70. Try crosswise in the bed, it’s better even than starfish! A little alone time makes the together time all the sweeter. Enjoy!

  71. What interesting responses to your post. Now I’m wondering why I feel so odd wishing I could be ALONE. It really is a treat. But I realize, it’s only a treat when we know it’s temporary. I guess we always want the thing we can’t have. Such luxury… time to just be… And who knew how alike we are in what we eat and do… and especially, hogging a whole bed!

  72. My husband is RCMP and I am currently a SAHM with a 6 and 3 year old. When my husband is working, it feels as though he’s never here, even when he is. Out the door early, home late, night shifts, sleeping half of his days off. Sometimes gone for weeks at a time on courses. When he’s off, it feels like he never leaves. Four, five days in a row…I feel claustrophobic with all of these people around. My favourite nights are the nights he is working, and I know I have an evening ahead of me all to myself. And even though I worry, the nights he’s on call and sleeps at the office, I kinda secretly relish. My food of choice when he’s out of town; onions. He hates them. I cook with them, make French onion soup, load them on my pizza. It’s my weird little ritual. A small reminder of the me that existed before all of these other people invaded my space 😉

  73. Around my circle of friends, it’s called “The Happy Dance.” Everyone knows not to call or text when one of us has this opportunity. Popcorn normally calls.


  74. My husband and I have had to move back in with my mom who works much earlier than me so is almost always home by the time I get home and she doesn’t do much. So no matter when my husband will work (sound engineer), there’s a good chance SOMEONE will be home and when no one is …. I just embrace the silence. Those two like having the TV on a lot more often than I do. 🙂

  75. About once a year my spouse takes our two older children off to the in-laws for four days and it is GLORIOUS. In fact it’s my present from him. Of course, now I have the baby with me all the time, but she can’t talk yet.

  76. Sadly, I do my best cleaning when home alone, never have worked out exactly why. My husband just started a new job that requires a commute after working from home for the past 3 years, so things should be sparkling soon. Except for the distractions, like knitting and my jewelry business and the 3 dogs (don’t ask)…..

  77. You are so right about the quiet. I value that most of all. I can live without TV or radio noise and just sit and knit in the solitude. Alone night time is a rarity and a HUGE treat. First there is a very long bath and then I crawl into the middle of the bed with my knitting and a good movie and enjoy the hell out of it. I always read in bed with a book light so as to not disturb my hubby, but when he’s gone, it’s lights on!! If it’s summer, I might sleep in just my undies. Now that’s a treat. Hopefully not TMI…!

    Enjoy your solitude….!

  78. I am SO on board with you here! And, yes, people DO raise an eyebrow when you say things like this–like they are waiting for you to tell them you are getting a divorce or something! Ridiculous!

    I make a strong distinction between “travel” and “vacation,” and to me true “vacation” is luxuriating at home in exactly the freedoms you described.

    BTW: I also happen to LOVE “travel” and especially enjoy doing that alone, too. You should see the shocked looks you get for going to Europe without your husband!

  79. I too enjoy alone time. I get some, but crave even more, somehow. I feel most like myself when I am alone. My kids are great, but they are young, so there are inevitably interruptions and noise. As for companionship with an adult, I think that I have forgotten what that is… it was certainly not part of the latter part of the marriage, if it existed before at all. We are in the middle of a divorce. So, lots of alone time in the future, I guess…

  80. There is a reason why a husband and wife don’t get grafted together when they are married. Most people enjoy some time to themselves, as witnessed by the many replies here.

    Happy Easter!

  81. I’m flying solo this weekend, too. When my husband’s out of town, the neighbors surmise I am having multiple affairs, one with the man from the Ethiopian restaurant and the other with the man from the Indian restaurant, or multiple Indian restaurants. (Guess which cuisines the husband isn’t fond of.)

  82. I’ve lived alone for most of the last 25 years. It’s not everybody’s cup of tea, I know, but I love it…and it always makes me chuckle when I’m asked if I get bored!

  83. Not original, I’m sure, but: WATCH MOVIES I know he would not really want to watch, or to be honest, would Really Not want to watch! Or ones I’m not so sure about (not confident enough to advocate for them if we were both going to watch) but would like to give a try…while knitting, bien sur!!! =) Somehow this–along with having the bed To Myself–is the most delicious part of his away times for me!
    Also, strangely perhaps: we sometimes still have very excellent, extended phone conversations when he’s away, a throwback to when we were dating and I was gone on an extended training time…an intense way to reconnect when one of us is out of our normal comfort/routine zone and thinking new thoughts…

  84. hmm, I think my favorite thing about spending time by myself is that I get to do all the things in my own pace. I may not only get to do things I love (there are always dishes to be done and programs to be written) but no matter what it is, I get to them when I get to them. They don’t happen when anyone else thinks about, or gets sick of doing something else, or notices and mentions them, or anything else.

  85. This is one of my guilty pleasures too:) Usually it only takes a couple days for me to miss having people around again (we live in the country and if I choose I could literally go days and days without ever seeing anyone). It doesn’t happen very often here either, and that’s probably why it is such a treat when it does!!

  86. Wow, I am loving these responses! We are both retired, but volunteer activities occasionally take my husband away for several days at a time. I relish these times! In fact, I make lists of the things I want to do when he’s gone. Things like “wear perfume,” (he’s allergic to scent) and “clean the kitchen counters with Mrs. Meyers Clean Day” (ditto) and “clean out the refrigerator.” Most of these tasks are things I could do when he’s here, but I relish the anticipation of his absence almost as much as the absence itself, so I enjoy planning for it. After my first marriage, I was single for 15 years before re-marrying, and I do kind of miss that time of authentically living alone.

    Go for it, Stephanie! Enjoy every moment!

  87. Eating cottage cheese, quick meals so I have more time for sewing and knitting. Sleeping all morning instead of fixing breakfast + lunch. Visiting occasionally with MY friends to talk about costume dramas, Jane Austen, recipes, and other topics of mutual feminine interest. Going to movies in the middle of the day! Listening to my favorite music LOUD without interruptions. Ditto audio books. Occasionally, shopping in a leisurely manner. Visiting places he is not interested in, not too far away–so many beautiful parks, very worthy of picnic lunches. And as others have said, sleeping long while hogging the whole bed and waking refreshed. Ah luxury.

  88. I’m just coming off a month of my being unemployed, husband home from work, kiddos out of daycare until June and absolutely no alone time. I feel a little frayed around the edges. I’ve always craved alone time and relish it. My husband -follows me from room to room when he’s home. The best I can do now -hire a sitter and take off for an afternoon. I’m not at home or even really alone, but it still lets me recharge just a little!

  89. Loved number 5 and 6 🙂

    Lovely cowl btw! Purple is not an easy color for everyone. When I’m alone at home, I can enjoy the simple fact of eating at a time that I chose and how long it’s taking or even where I eat! And taking up all the place in bed is nice too!

  90. My husband was gone for two weeks on a hunting trip with his son last November. I found myself defaulting to my graduate school diet (grilled cheese sandwiches made by toasting the bread in the toaster then slapping on the cheese and microwaving, and canned tomato soup) and spending my evenings catching up on Masterpiece mysteries on my laptop. Sleeping like a starfish. The house stayed clean.

  91. All this reminds me of a country song title I heard at one time:

    “How can I miss you if you won’t go away?”

    LOL :o)

  92. I tend to solitude, and LOVE to spend it at the piano, knitting or crocheting, and at the harp. A few years back, I experienced a major personality shift from extrovert to major hermitlike introvert, and I’ve realized since that there is a lot of good to be found in peaceful time alone. 🙂 (Also a lot of yarn and music.)

  93. The silence! Our house isn’t noisy (for starters, we don’t have a TV), but that’s not the same as the silence of emptiness. I can let down and relax in that. And not cooking– I hate to cook– I just graze whenever I get hungry, or skip meals if I want. Doing what I want when I want for as long as I want without interruption– not having to break doing what I’m doing to take care of what someone else wants or needs, whether it’s reading, weeding, knitting, having to get back from walking my dog. And having my dog sleep with me– she knows as soon as he’s going– she doesn’t try to get on the bed when he’s home, but as soon as he leaves, she jumps right up. I dearly love my family and miss them when any of them are away even for a short time, but oh, having quiet, uninterrupted time to myself, that’s so restorative for me.

  94. i adore being alone in my home. i especially like listening to music with my earbuds in, singing along and dancing without the possibility of being embarrassed.

  95. Love reading all these comments! I’m lucky that I sometimes travel with work and have time by myself in hotel rooms. Bliss, I always stay up too late knitting. I rarely spend time in my own home by myself overnight though. My husband and son are going away for one night next week and I’m ridiculously excited about it. Sure I’ll miss them dreadfully though and be glad when they’re back.

  96. It must be an eldest child thing. The house to myself is just about my favourite thing ever, I don’t think I’ll ever get over the novelty of not having 4 younger siblings rioting around me. It’s the silence – the husband can’t stand it, but I could spend days and days alone with no soundtrack whatsoever.

  97. No TV, and Chinese food or jambalaya for every meal, if I so choose! The entire bed to myself! No one snoring beside me! Ahhh, so many pleasures.
    We have a beautiful, big Honda touring bike, and take lots of long-weekend trips together, but as I will be having chemotherapy through most of this year’s riding season, I’ll be sending him off on his own, for as long as my health holds up.
    I can hardly wait!

    • All my best as you tackle chemo. My hubby loves to ride and I ride just often enough to almost keep him happy. I am sure he will miss having you along but will both enjoy the time apart collecting new stories and adventures to share when you are back home together.

  98. It’s the simple pleasure of a bowl of steamed broccoli with fresh pasta, a sprinkling of chilli flakes and parmesan … and a large glass of chilled white. And the peace … oh the peace!
    Love my family but we live in a small flat and when we’re together there isn’t a space that doesn’t feel filled. So when they’re all away – maybe for just an hour or two, boy do I relish it!
    Enjoy your break from normal, Steph!

  99. My husband used to travel for business and we would have separations of short duration but I was working too and out of the house. Now that we are both retired we are together all the time. The disadvantage is even in a house with space there are always negotiations re: space, volumnes, “why are you doing that now, that way etc”. He took a long trip last year on a train (I stayed and assisted my elderly parents) and I missed him and the house was so different, but the silence and freedom were lovely, I suspect because I knew they were short term. I understand your thoughts completely enjoy these moments.

  100. My dad lives with me. I love hin but i totally get what you are talking about. We eldest are rarely allowed to be selfish and if we are selfish, we feel guilty. When nobody is home, we can be selfish without guilt.
    I like the serene silence. I spend the entire weekend like nun with a vow of silence. Reading and sleeping and more reading. No TV no news no radio no phone calls.

  101. It is pure blissful to have time alone to do what we want when we want. Then there is the happiness of when they return home!

  102. The silence, the silence, the silence. The silence broken only by what I want it broken by and in the volume I choose. Open windows when the weather is nice, eating or not what and when I want. Did I mention the silence. I have learned when hubby mentions he might be going hunting/riding/? to contain my excitement so as not to hurt his feelings. When he clears the driveway I often do a happy dance. I love my husband, all of our grown children and their children more than I can express but when I am alone in my home it is the closest thing I can imagine to heaven on earth.

  103. I love alone time. It’s been 4-1/2 years since my husband had an industrial accident, the first 6 months totally off his feet. I was “in charge” of everything!!! He’s still not back to work, we’ll see how that goes.

    Since then alone time has been tricky, elusive, much sought after, since he is home All, The, Time. He’s been able to go on some fishing weekends with buddies, and it’s such a thrill. I don’t turn on the TV or the radio, I read, knit, do house stuff that needs no interruption, eat (or not) when and what I want.

    It is the alone time that recharges me and keeps me from putting down new patio stones with him under them!

  104. My husband goes on a back country ski trip for 2 weeks every year with his brother. I love having the house to myself. I can pull out all my yarn and fibre and reorganize it without the “My you have a LOT of yarn” comment.
    Also I stay up way to late, eat all the foods he doesn’t like, go to my friends for dinner, etc etc……. Can’t wait!

  105. It’s not because you’re the eldest. I’m the youngest and I feel exactly the same way. If it was my turn to be home alone I’d sleep late, read late in bed with the light on and graze through my meals.

  106. Thanks, Stephanie, from the bottom of my heart. I am an “only” and love my husband dearly, but I cherish my alone time. It took me years to be able to say: “there’s nobody’s company I enjoy quite so much as my own” without guilt. The best part, though, is that he needs his alone time as well, and we each come back to our nest refreshed. It can be as simple as my taking a long speed-walk while he pedals off on his bicycle elsewhere to give us our space. Ah, blessed retirement!

  107. I love it when my husband goes away. Just me and the dogs… when the kids were little we had Haagen Daz and movie night the friday before he came back. That was dinner! Everyone got their own bucket and they usually finished mine too. Fond memories that the kids still remember today.
    Noe he doesn’t travel so much anymore for business, so even the short term stay away – like a saturday at work – it’s like heaven. Don’t hurry back honey, I’ll be ok for a while…lol. I love him dearly….but….. 😉

  108. I tell me kids “When you’re gone, you’d better call before dropping over, because who knows? Dad and I might be having sex in the kitchen! Or having strawberry sundaes for dinner!” In truth, the older I get, the more likely it is to be strawberry sundaes… Mostly what I do when I’m home alone is watch The Tudors on the big TV in the living room when no one is going to walk by and say “MOM!! WHY ARE YOU WATCHING PEOPLE HAVE SEX?”

  109. I love having the house to myself! When my children were little ones I never had the opportunity to enjoy me time when my husband was out of town on business, which was almost all the time.But now when the hubs is out of town I take myself to the movies he wouldn’t like, I cook and eat pasta fagiole, calamari, and other of my favorite dishes that he doesn’t like. I knit right through meals if I don’t feel like eating. I am my own best friend and I thoroughly enjoy my company. I know someday I might be forced into aloneness but I’m hoping I won’t ever be lonely.

  110. 1) Solo dance parties to the Michael Jackson or Chaka Khan Pandora station up LOUD, possibly while cooking

    2) Wine

    3) WAY more TV than I’d ever let anyone catch me watching

    4) Sleeping on my sweetie’s side of the bed

  111. I laughed so hard at this, because all the things you listed were precisely all the things I relish when I have the house to myself!

  112. Interesting how many of us feel the same way. When my children were small my husband travelled a fair amount. When he was gone, we often had spinach, toast, and soft boiled eggs for dinner. One of the kids mentioned recently how fixing that for himself for a quick dinner after work always makes him feel nostalgic. Now the kids are out of the house but thehubby works from home and doesn’t travel much any more… And when he does, Hubby feels guilty leaving me alone. Big smile:”bye dear, have a nice time.”
    As a middle child who savors being alone, I don’t think it is an “eldest” thing.

  113. I totally get loving to have the house to yourself but as a new widow, being alone full-time is a bummer big time!

    • I’m so sorry for your loss, Nancy. We lost my Mom almost 7 years ago, and I know that my Dad misses her every day. I can’t imagine living without your partner. 🙁

  114. Having total control of the thermostat is the absolutely best thing about having the house to myself, which I never get.

  115. The same as my 16 year old son…. Deep clean, then order takeout and veg in the livingroom (with the LED big screen and surround sound) to watch whatever i am in the mood for…. Difference is i also knit during this while he crochets (his 14 year old brother knits…. Both also play sports)

  116. When I have a few consecutive days of no other humans in the house (there will always be four footed fur balls) I eat green stuff for breakfast. Starting the day with poached eggs and gently sautéed greens on whole grain toast just makes me feel good. No maple syrup or stacks of overly salted meat in sight!

    Even better, I don’t shower and get dressed until I’m fully caffeinated and done the dirtier of the chores. That leaves the remainder of the day open to all sorts of yarny possibilities.

  117. Solitude? What is that? I have literally never lived on my own, even for a day! I am oldest of 4 kids, in college I always had a roommate, after college I lived with my DH, who I have now 4 little kids with. I hardly ever get a moment to breath, let alone a moment of solitude…. I think it would put me in a daze…

  118. Two nights out of every eight, when my hubby works night shifts, I sleep in the middle of the bed, and – best part of all – in the morning I hit the snooze button, knowing that the alarm won’t drive him nuts.

  119. I used to work like a fiend when hubby was gone. Then then I realized that was only making me crazy. Now, I sew something I want to sew, watch stupid movies I like, eat cheesecake for dinner and sleep with the dog and cat. I love it when he returns. It’s what we call “a good miss,” which describes in our family, that you had a good time while you were away but you’re glad to be home too.

  120. I, too, like to sleep in the middle of the bed, or diagonally, when my wife is out of town. Sometimes I even spend the night on the couch, which is a holdover from my single days when I’d sleep wherever I wanted to in my own house. I also like to clean when my wife is out of town. She doesn’t stop me – in fact, she’s likely to help if I do it while she’s home – but I like setting my home to rights when it’s just me.

  121. hmm, what do I like to do first when alone in the house? Read something wonderful in a cosy spot, eat popcorn for dinner, stray my yarn all over the couch while I knit without worrying that someone needs a spot to sit down. Mmmm 🙂

  122. My boyfriend is a paramedic who works two night shifts every 8 days. The nights I have the apartment to myself, I knit, watch terrible TV and in general make a mess. I do a “my parents were away and I had a house party” cleanup just before he gets home.

  123. I love when I have the house to myself, I run around cleand the house the first thing and then sit and knit watch chick flicks and just do what I want love it.

  124. As someone who’s in that never EVER alone stage right now (and forever??), you had me at “Joe left this morning…”

  125. 1. Play the piano and maybe even sing
    2. Stay in my pjs all day if I want
    3. Control the t.v. remote
    4. Sleep all the way through the night without being awakened by another’s movements

  126. Of course you’ll miss him. But not unhappily.
    I really believe those times apart strengthen a marriage. When my hubby would go off on business trips, I’d love my “alone” time and we’d do even more fun things when he came back. It made it possible for us to work together 24/7 for 22 years after he was “downsized” back in 1991 and bought a newspaper. But I always remembered how much I enjoyed being by myself … not having to think about anyone else’s needs or wants.
    Enjoy your time … and hug Joe extra hard when he gets home.

  127. Read in bed in the middle of the night and not worry that anyone will be bothered by the light.

    Make noises with the breakfast dishes without waking up someone.

    Eat fennel. And spinach.
    Enjoy your ‘aloney’ days!

  128. Though I’m also an eldest, I think enjoying alone time has more to do with being introverted. It’s not that I don’t enjoy being with people, and especially my husband and adult son, but if I had to be with others all day long I’d curl up in the fetal position! I can relax and be happy watching the grass grow, which would drive others, including hubby, crazy.

    I get my alone time by consistently staying up late, after others have gone to bed. Whenever my husband takes a trip for a few days, I plan to relax and enjoy my staycation; instead, I usually end up tackling items on my constantly growing to-do list. Even so, I love not having to rush home in time to cook dinner for hubby, and actually not having to cook at all (take out/take away is the way to go!).

    As I’ve gotten older, I do often worry about becoming a widow and how lost and alone that may feel, at least for a while. I think women can handle, and even enjoy, living alone easier than men can, which is probably why widowers either remarry or die soon after losing a spouse.

  129. After a few decades of knocking out delicious and nutritious food for three boys and their finicky father, I love to not have to cook! My husband took a job where he’s no longer home every night and I went back to work after 25 years of being home. I love to come home and have a beer and an apple, or maybe a Baggie of soup from the freezer. I also enjoy catching up on whatever crud I want to watch on tv. Or not touching the tv. And, of course, knitting without being judged! Enjoy your holiday!

  130. When DH was gone at first I always slept diagonally. Now I just put the yarn there.
    What size are the Dark side of the Moon socks you’re making? Mine are very different. Maybe they’re the other side?

  131. I’m that way, too. I love getting to spend time at home alone. I watch shows that my husband doesn’t like and knit and knit and its glorious. It’s as rare as a unicorn for me these days because I’m in the midst of the caring-for-young-children-and-never-alone phase. Someday. Someday I will be able to be alone again.

  132. The Husband detests tuna fish, so when he goes away the children and I have tuna noodle casserole and tuna fish sandwiches! They still can’t figure out how dad gets his car all the way to California with him. They haven’t caught on to airplanes and rental cars yet.

  133. Raised 5 kids as single mom. Love just walking around house throughout the day and seeing the rooms in sunlight. And just breathing.

  134. alone…means, pray for my family without interruption. Talking to God effectively for me needs being alone…so when hubby and son are gone to work..that is alone with Him until they get home at the end of the day.
    They do not travel so being alone for days at a time is not my alone time. I can be alone in my knitting room as that is what my stash room is called. I can be up there most of the day without interruption…so that for me is “alone time”

  135. I miss the heck out of Mr. Tomato when he has to go out of town for work, especially the first night and the last night. But in the middle….

    I can KNIT ALL THE THINGS and drink insane amounts of coffee and take long bubbly baths, and see how much King sized bed one short woman and two cats can fill and eat nothing but pizza and breakfast burritos the whole time. Also, I can mainline whatever I want on Netflix (HELLO PBS/BBC PERIOD DRAMA! See also: ALL the superhero tv and movies.)

    I do have to put on clothes and go to work in the middle of course, but the rest of the time, it’s like a fantastic introverted nerd/cat party.

  136. My husband travels for work all the time, and I love it when he’s gone! I used to feel like a terrible person for feeling that way, but once the kids are tucked in, being able to get in bed and read with a glass of wine is my FAVORITE!!!!! I am a full-time student and full-time mom of with a 16 year old, a 12 year old, and an almost 8 year old, and I have zero quiet alone time, so I relish I it when he’s gone. I miss him, of course, and I miss having the extra adult to help out. But i love it, too. In the wise words of Depeche Mode, enjoy the silence!

  137. Isnt it delightful when you have the house to yourself. I always look forward to sleeping in the middle of the bed where it is the most comfiest without having an elbow or a knee digging into me in the middle of the night! Your cowl looks gorgeous. Enjoy your alone time!

  138. I love being alone. I mean, obviously, I would miss my 4 kids and my husband, but to be able to watch a movie in quiet, and not have to deal with whatever little kid skirmishes are going on, or just deal with the every day mom stuff for a time, is an absolute luxury. If I was alone for a weekend, I would order a chicken finger sub (because we never order subs for everyone, it’s way too expensive) and watch “Gone with the Wind” – because its a long movie and there’s no way I could get through it uninterrupted with people home. And I would finally cast on that sweater I’ve been meaning to cast on since November, but never get to because I don’t seem to have enough brain power left at the end of any day.

    Enjoy your quiet time!

  139. Not having to share a bathroom. Now that #1 son has moved out of the basement man cave suite. Son #2 will be moving downstairs when he returns home after graduate school…… The bathroom is mine, and mind alone!

  140. Every once in a while my husband will take the kids to visit his parents for a holiday weekend when I can’t get off work (especially back when I worked retail), and it’s wonderful. Leave the knitting out everywhere, turn up the TV so I can actually hear it past the kids’ bedtime, eat lots of mushrooms (he hates them), stop to run errands on the way home from work without worrying about dinner being late.

  141. I almost never get time alone at home, so when my husband takes the daughters skiing overnight, it’s like a mini-vacation! I binge watch TV that they don’t like, eat things they don’t like, and knit (they don’t mind that).

  142. As a wife and mom who also travels for work, I soooo get this post. Solitude is a delightful gift when one’s life is usually blessed with the company of loved ones and gainful employment.

  143. I am counting the days until my husband goes on a short family trip without me in May (I go without him the following week).
    Then, in July, he is going to Peru to hike for 10 (glorious) days.
    I love him, he is my partner, my lover, my best friend — and I cannot wait for a few days away from him!!!
    I am the middle of 9 children — I CRAVE solitude!!

  144. So nice to hear that I am not alone on this. A recent episode on Gray’s Anatomy had this statement: I can live without you, but I choose not to.

    It is healthy to enjoy one’s space while being committed to someone we love and care for.

    Love your blog!

  145. Sleeping the in the middle of the bed is a big one. And I don’t turn on the TV. I blast classical music instead.

  146. I love ordering Chinese food or Indian food, watching whatever I want on tv without consulting anyone, and knitting alone and reading alone.

  147. We have a song for this. It’s the “I have the whole house to myself, la la la la la la la,” song.

    Doesn’t have much of a tune.

    Sung while dancing around mostly naked and eating right out of the ice cream carton.

  148. I love it when the house clears out and it’s just me. I rush madly about cleaning, get all the laundry done, and put fresh sheets on the bed. Then I bask in the glory of the clean and quiet house. If I want radio or TV I enjoy whatever suits my fancy. I don’t trip over anyone’s projects but my own. The kitchen stays clean. The bed gets made. Bliss!!

  149. I love the quiet, and the fact that I can do whatever I want without having to cater to anyone else’s needs, granted I’m pretty sure all mothers of young ones feel that way.

  150. I still haven’t quite forgiven my husband for leaving me with a toddler and an almost newborn while he went off for a 2-week seminar/junket. Those babies have babies of their own now, and I appreciate being left alone for a few days–sleeping with the cat, eating cottage cheese and bananas–but it’s nice when he gets back.

  151. I have 2 small children and a husband, so oh man do I know what you mean. I haven’t had the house to myself since 2010 when my husband took my daughter to visit the grandparents–and I stayed home. It was delicious.

    I would SLEEP if I had time alone. Diagonally. With all the covers. I would not cook. Not even once. There would be knitting and Battlestar Galactica. There would be a pub with friends.

  152. I’m looking forward to the day when I can have the house to myself AND there aren’t any chores to do. I will have popcorn for dinner, knit, and watch whatever I like on TV! It’s actually a dream of mine that I can have a “staycation” where the rest of the family goes away and I have the house to myself for a good week.

  153. Every so often, when my boyfriend leaves the house for a few minutes (garbage, recycling, mail), I am tempted to lock the door just to get a few extra minutes of alone time.

  154. I could’ve written this post! My husband is going to stay with his brother for three nights at the end of this week. I *never* get the house to myself. I’m beyond excited!

  155. My nine year olds dresser drawers are like that. Drives me crazy! Then she says she doesn’t have anything clean to wear, but it’s because she can’t find anything!
    Enjoy your alone time, I know I relish it when I get it too.

  156. I love being in my house alone! When the three boys were younger I worked four days a week with Mondays off. Monday morning, when my DH left for work and the boys all got on the school bus –that was heavenly! I would linger over my coffee, do a whirlwind houseclean, get groceries, then come home and eat lunch while reading and/or knitting. That quiet time kept me sane! Now the oldest has moved out, two are still home and my DH has been laid off for 4 months…. when he goes back to work I am going to take a day off!

  157. I felt guilty about this until I talked to a friend and realized she felt the same way and now I hear all of your readers saying the same. I love eating whatever I want and not having to plan any meals. I love reading and knitting and no one asking me questions when I am at a really good part or counting, LOL!

  158. I totally get the love of being alone. My husband used to take the kids to Florida for a visit with his mom every year. I’d play the marter & volunteer to stay home & look after the dogs. For weeks in advance, I’d make lists of all the things I was going to do while they were gone. Then I’d go out & buy tons of junk food & rent bunches of sappy chick flick movies & stay home in my pj’s, watch TV, knit & eat chips & dip & cookies for dinner. Those were the best stay-cations ever!

  159. Silence.
    Being able to start a large project and totally immerse myself in it without having to worry about how soon someone else is going to want the room, want me to do something with them, or decide they’re hungry. I forget to eat when I’m thus immersed, so I lose weight when I’m by myself (bonus!).
    Working on stupid adult stuff and getting it done while there’s no other distractions is immensely satisfying.
    Cooking real food in large batches and then not having to worry about what to eat for days at a time.
    Taking naps in the middle of the day if I want to.
    Have lunch with my parents.
    Two weeks at home by myself (husband went to a conference in another state) was the very best vacation I’d ever had. Trying to figure out how to do it again without hurting his feelings (he has no family to spend time with, sadly).

  160. Oh to have the house to myself! What a blessed thing that would be! Completely understand your feelings on having the house to yourself…doesn’t mean you don’t love having Joe around or even that you don’t miss him when he’s gone, but it is definitely nice to have the place to yourself for awhile. Personally, I’d like to give my family the boot for a week and have the house to myself so that I could paint the front room, move in some bookcases, clean the whole house, reorganize some of the spaces, perhaps paint the guest room, get some new curtains, did I mention clean(?) and then I want to leave for a couple of hours and enjoy the feeling of walking into a clean/organized house! I don’t even care if it takes me all week to get it done. As long as I get 2 hours of alone time in the nice clean house, that would make it entirely worth it. Because I guarantee within 30 minutes of the 4 and 5 year olds coming back into the house, it would no longer be clean or organized. And knit. Of course, I would knit.

  161. I think alone time for anyone who has been married or had kids is a delicious treat. I know I find myself both relishing it and feeling a little lost. I currently live with my husband and three teens. When I get an odd moment or two where I am the only human being in the house, I find myself simply giddy!

    I hope you were able to enjoy it!

  162. Just think how lucky you are to have peace and quiet for a short time and someone to share your home with for most of the time. My husband passed away sixteen years ago when my children were 6 and 15. My daughter finishes at university this summer and although she’s going to work for a company with local projects she plans to live in London – or Paris or NY! Most of the time I’m fine living on my own (sometimes with a lodger and always with two Labradors) but it would be lovely to have someone to cook for or even iron some shirts! Of course there is nobody to say anything about all the knitting or the stash which has now grown to fill the space under the bed.

  163. Having a day off from work midweek is bliss. My husband works nights, so he is asleep while I’m awake, and I love days off. Why? We get to spend the morning together, and then I have several blissful hours alone in the afternoon and evening 🙂 I usually make myself a cup of hot tea, have an indulgent snack with it (two chocolate-hazelnut-cream wafer rolls), and watch one of my movies that he dislikes, while knitting on a project for myself. Jane Austen usually, or one of my Joan-Hickson-as-Miss-Marple episodes.

  164. I love it when my husband travels – not because I don’t like him around but for some of the same reasons you listed! I tend to do alot of home projects when he’s gone – install new flooring, paint, install ceiling fans, remove the carpeting from the stairs, install new bathroom sink and cabinet, etc. Not because he would object but just because I don’t have any distractions!
    Enjoy your time!

  165. Being the eldest of four girls, I’m the independent, creative and love to be alone person in our clan. I totally get how you feel in your own house. Have fun in the Pacific NW. I almost went to StevenBe while in MN last November but then it looked a bit too eclectic and my hubby was with me. I really needed to be alone to visit that shop! Enjoy

  166. I don’t think I have ever spent a night alone in my house since the first of my kids was born 29 years ago. My husband does travel for business but we have 5 kids and 2 of them still live with us.

  167. Pingback: Also I will miss him |

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