So, I’m knitting along, keeping to the schedule, trying not to think and ignoring the gloating tree. (There is gloating shortbread now as well. Sugary arse of a snack.)
Could someone convince me that I will not feel better about Christmas stress if I eat that entire pan of shortbread with a good cup of coffee? Could someone else convince me that it is not pathetic that my main concern with eating an entire pan of shortbread is not that I would have single handedly and swiftly consumed an entire pound of butter, but that I shouldn’t eat it because there is no time allotted in the schedule to bake another pan? Anyone?
The scheduled knitting proceeds apace.
Morning:
This is a super charming Sophie bag, almost finished. (That puts me about 35 minutes ahead of schedule. If I can keep scoring time I might be able to eat the shortbread. Then again, if I’m ahead of schedule, I might not have an emotional need to eat the shortbread. We’ll see.)
Afternoon:
Hank’s spiderman mittens. Here, for your perusal, is the ridiculously easy chart that I worked up. Choose a mitten pattern that uses a multiple of 6. Fudge the rest.
I thought about doing something more complex, but remembered (right before I spent more than the allotted amount of schedule time, that it is just as likely to be rejected for not meeting a four year olds complex set of criteria if I spend 50 hours or 10. Simple decision really. Rule #9. Keep knitting for fickle four year olds simple so that your heart isn’t broken when they throw it at you on Christmas day for being the wrong shade of red). Hank spent yesterday afternoon here..interrupting knitting (though he’s so cute that I could almost forget that he cost me a chance at shortbread) and playing gingerbread person tic-tac-toe, and singing his favourite Christmas Carol:
Helize and your dad.
Who wouldn’t knit mittens for that face?
Evening:
Socks. Super cool socks with Pablo Neruda’s “Ode to my socks” written on them (in the original Spanish.) Adapted from Socks, Socks, Socks. (Note: I have linked to Amazon for convenience only….check your local Independent if ya can). Seriously adapted. Like, “don’t even try to figure out what I did to the pattern” kind of adapted, or “holy cow I hope I can repeat this trick on the second sock” kind of adapted. These are behind schedule. (By about 2 pans of shortbread, for anyone who, like me has learned to think about knitting in those terms.)
You should all be aware that I am considering dumping it all. Every bit of it, and dedicating what is left of my days on this earth to eating whole pans of shortbread and knitting THE LITTLE TINY LATVIAN MITTENS (scroll down to December 7th) on Susan’s site. Be still my beating heart.
Gifts for Knitters Day 14
Anything of the really beautiful kits from Fiddlesticks Knitting. Darn this stuff is purdy. You can’t go wrong either. Dorothy’s patterns are extremely clear and concise. For Canadians, there’s the added bonus of buying (and shipping) Canadian, and for Americans…the bonus of the exchange rate. I love her stuff, check out the brand new “loopy scarf” kits. (The real reason it’s today’s pick, though what knitter wouldn’t want the blocking wires at the bottom of this page? ).
But just think! All that butter will just melt away (no pun intended) with all your hard work!
So apparently I will now be making shortbread for my work potluck tomorrow, and trying not to eat it all ahead of time… and making myself a schedule. Must must must. How did you get the cute little holly do-dads on the shortbread, though?
I will adore you forever simply for this one thing — Pablo Neruda socks.
“…thus
were my feet
honored
by
those
heavenly
socks.”
So are the socks for a high school English teacher who told you you weren’t good enough or something? Astounding.
Back. Away. From. The. Cookies.
Actually here’s a recipe that’s so fast you’ll have time to make them, eat them and fill your knitting quota. Especially with the Big Red in the kitchen (you know what I mean) Yes, call me an enabler, but I know I can’t even THINK with shortbread in the house. I made some today myself…and there’s still a few left (at present writing)
Whipped Shortbread
1C Butter, 1 !/2C Flour, 1/2c Icing Sugar
Beat together for 10 min.
Drop on cookie sheet. Decorate with cherries (opt)
350’for 17 min. (3 dozen small ones)
Elizabeth has given us a recipe for shortbread here and Cassandra has given us her recipe for spice cookies. How about your recipe for shortbread, Stephanie?
Are you sleeping? I’m guessing by all of your progress that sleep wasn’t in the Schedule… everything looks terrific!
If you eat the shortbread you will get crumbs on your knitting. Cleaning up the crumbs will put you BEHIND SCHEDULE! Leave it be. Until later.
God help me, I need the pattern for those mini-mittens. Does one exist? In the lack of oxygen that was getting to my brain because I expelled it all so quickly I was unable to see… those are so darling, and I sit here at work (working hard, obviously) looking at my 18 in tree that has naught but a ribbon on, and thinking that I need to be knitting those mittens. Those are SO cute.
And Steph. You’ll feel better if you send the shortbread to me. Shortbread is one of the many wonderful things to come out of Scotland, home of my ancestors. Shortbread is good. Good in the deep spiritual enlightenment sense of the word. But if its tempations are too great for you, you should just pass it on to one who will love it the entire time she is inhaling it.
I agree, anything from Fiddlesticks.
Interestingly enough a package from there arrived here today 🙂
I know it’s the peacock feather shawl.
I know hubby ordered it for me.
How could he not know I wanted it? It was listed in our favorites on the computer as “WHAT I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS”. Good man!!
Eat the cookies later, don’t want crumbs in your knitting.
And yes, that face does deserve mittens. Same kind of cute face gets my kids socks!
Anyone else tracking their sts/hour?? Last night was 3600 sts/3.5 hrs = 1028. I need to hit at least 1300 to meet deadline, or invent the 27 hour-day. Clearly, sanity is not my strong point. Nor reality.
Shortbread is the culprit. So much time and thinking went into the whole ‘to eat or not to eat’ question ~ I wonder if you are behind on the schedule. I’d like to offer my assistance. Send all shortbread baking to me. I’ll take it off your hands ;-}
Your knitting projects take my breath away. I am still making scarfs.
Not that I’m enabling New ListItem #9 (Unscheduled Cookie-Eating), but I will just point out that one of the joys of shortbread is that it has no eggs … which makes highly likely that you can make another batch without having to go to the grocer’s.
The Neruda sock makes life worth living. The tiny mittens as well, although like truly great fried clams, I am content to know someone else can make them.
Steph, I think you’re spreading the evil latvian mittens everywhere. i went to the library last night to get that and folk mittens despite tremendous stomach pains, because I couldn’t wait a MOMENT LONGER. Now I can’t stop thinking about them. I’m obsessed. A few times today I’ve been talking to someone at work and instead of saying “report” or “oranges” or “journal” I say “mitten”.
evil.
I’m still back on the shortbread…grrl, I love that stuff. Oh and the poem sock…wow!
Holy crap.
Not only do I have Baltic Mitts of Lust orgies all over the ‘net that I’m pining over to be included (my supplies are on their way), now there’s TINY MITTS OF LATVIAN LUST that have hoved into my view.
If I didn’t like you so much, I’d wish all kinds of shortbread evilness on you, Harlot.
Eat, eat! Nobody likes a skinny Santa! 😉
stephanie! he looks like you! that hank, that cute cute face looks like you … do you see it? i love this lead up to christmas stuff – it is so hilarious! and somehow, even though i have no schedule, no presents, no shortbread (basically nothing!) i’m not stressed out – maybe because i’ve been laughing. but i have to admit, last night, knitting just a plain black mitten (without a”recipe”, as my kids say – although it does have a cute red boa cuff) i was wondering how i’d do it all over again (you have to know i’ve only ever made scarves and a couple of hats this fall as my foray into knitting in the round) and thinking about your latvian mittens! incredible and inspirational and able to put everything in perspective … thanks as always
1 lb butter = 3,255 calories, 368g fat, 229g saturated fat
And in the midst of all this she still (sniff) spares a thought for the struggling house-elves, I mean, independent bookstores, of the world. Bless you.
Out of gratitude, Harlotele, I would remind you of all those studies of Celtic peasentry which show their cardiovascular systems gleaming like they just came out of the autoclave despite gallons of cream and mountains of butter. Why? Because they work like drayhorses, that’s why. And what are you doing? Working like…And you need to keep your strength up, you do. I bet you’re feeling a bit peckish right this minute, yes? And if you just eat those loose crumbs and broken bits at the bottom — cleaning it up, really…It’s almost your duty, so they don’t drag down Team Shortbread…We will look out the window for just a moment, now…
Shortbread good.
Stress bad.
’nuff said.
I think the best reason not to eat the pound of shortbread is the guilt afterwards would distract you from making mini Latvian mittens.
The Spiderman mittens are great. They pale in comparason to the Pablo Neruda Socks.
And while it’s possible Allyson will not rot in hell, the IRS has been alerted.
Surely you know that shortbread reduces panic attacks and all levels of stress. Eat on. If you share with Hank, it won’t cut into your knitting schedule so much. So exactly how many hours are you sleeping (or should I say NOT sleeping) to stay on that schedule?
Maybe you need more shortbread!
Surely you know that shortbread reduces panic attacks and all levels of stress. Eat on. If you share with Hank, it won’t cut into your knitting schedule so much. So exactly how many hours are you sleeping (or should I say NOT sleeping) to stay on that schedule?
Maybe you need more shortbread!
Oh, I love the Sofie bag, I made a red one for my daughter and bought some more pink Cascade to do another – it was sooo fast and so cute. What will you do for a closure? I haven’t put one on yet and I don’t want velcro – It’s the whole, fuzzy, cheap, its everywhere, unattractive thing – and I have been warned that the magnetic ones will de-magnetize credit cards (horror of horrors). But it really needs something. I await your Harlot Wisdom. Of course, you will probably fashion your own and merely leave me with a new skill to learn.
If you’re a fan of shortbread, whatever you do do NOT get the 100 best shortbread recipes book. Because you’ll end up making more shortbread than is healthy (yes, I know, ANY shortbread is more shortbread than is healthy but I don’t care because a life without shortbread is not a life I want to lead).
Knit! Knit like the wind!
I can’t give you a single reason not to gorge on that shortbread. I am powerless against shortbread. Go ahead. Don’t even use your hands, just snuffle them out of the pan with your face. That’s what I’d do.
I like how you are using the (mocking) tree to display your WIPs. Clever. You show that tree who’s in charge.
I sent DH your “Adopt a Rare Sheep” tip yesterday and he (had the nerve) to write back and say he loved that idea and would buy some sheep so I could adopt them out and make some money. Not exactly what I had in mind…
Please share your shortbread recipe!
The power of the Harlot: I received this message when I tried the link to Fiddlestick’s – “Access Denied:Too Many Users”.
Stephanie, Brave Combo has a Christmas album? Oh no. . . I hope it’s not out of print. This is a concept I almost can’t wrap my mind around (nobody diagram that sentence, please). I learn something from you every day . I’m on the way to visit Mr. Washie’s cousin — where did Lene put him on the schedule?
Elizabeth, ignoring knitting at the moment (gasp!) and not making shortbread despite those ancestral voices. . .
WooHoo!!!!!! I’m “in.” I’m happy I enticed you with the mini Latvian mitten. There’ll be a finished picture on my blog tomorrow and info on where to find the pattern. Not that I’m implying you’d need a pattern, Stephanie.
You’re right, you know. I’ve been dying to make that Flirty Ruffles Shawl in black. I need it.
I must say, you have more willpower than I in resisting the shortbread. They are my favorite, butter be damned and would have been devoured straight out of the oven.
What, me stress? It’s just not possible when I got Folk Mittens in the mail, and Return of the King on DVD. Ah socks, ah Viggo…now if I just had some shortbread……
Don’t you just love the Sophie bag? I’ve made four so far and plan to make several more. I get great compliments everytime I carry mine. People always ask “can I touch it?”. As for a closure, I haven’t used one on any that I’ve made. I’d be interested in seeing what you come up with.
I love your gifts for knitters idea. When fiddlesticks came to KW for the knitting guild fair in September, I spent so long fondling their samples and drooling that people (read: dedicated fibre addicts) around me were starting to look. That’s a long time….
Speaking of shortbread, this is the time of year that the pioneer village I work for hands out free samples of shortbread. We have fabulous volunteers that make THOUSANDS of shortbread cookies for us to hand out…over the SIX weeks that it is “Christmas”… needless to say, we all choose winter costumes that are a little loose in the waist.
LOL. Now I have to make shortbread. No time, no time! And I don’t even have a schedule–this is good because then I’d know how behind I am.
Hey, I always link knitting books to Camilla Valley Farm. They have the most spectacular selection, and of course they are from the freedom-loving North (we in occupied Jesusland have to pay extra shipping, darn). This is the bookmark I use to search for the book I want to link: http://www.camillavalleyfarm.com/books/bookkprc.htm I haven’t yet wanted to link to a book that isn’t on there. Clicking on the title will bring you to a page for that book, pic and all. Back issues of mags there too. Just so you know. 🙂
Hey, love the Neruda socks. I just got the book and those are on my must-knit list.
Ever in awe of your amazing productivity, Cate.
I started my first Sophie on Saturday evening and I’m nowhere near where you are on yours. But I;m enjoying the process, so it’s okay, right?
I’m waiting with bated breath at work for our resident shortbread baker to bring in the annual tin. (I try to keep consumption to a minimum, but I always find excuses to walk past the table.)
Good luck with the schedule.
Definitely I know a lot about nutrition, and I say that shortbread during the holidays is an important part of the food pyramid. Especially homemade shortbread, and yours look amazingly scrumptious. Is it the authentic Scottish kind, with rice flour? That Sophie bag is awesome, Hank is adorable, the mittens are to die for, (can I have ’em if they don’t meet with his four-year-old sensitivities?) and the sock….well, I can’t even say anything about the sock. It’s beyond me.
Steph, I am lusting after your shortbread, your socks, your Latvian mitts, even your origami reindeer! Mostly, though, I lust after all you seem to be able to accomplish in a day.
A co-worker commented today that she doesn’t know why I haven’t had a nervious breakdown yet with the schedule I’ve been keeping, I told her there was still time for a breakdown. Watch me implode.
I dream of endless stretches of time to do nothing but knit or spin. I’m spinning alright but it is out of control. I think I need a Lene schedule. Only 3 more days of work for me this year, but also only 3 more days of school for the kids! There is an injustice in that don’t you think. How does a person get everything done for the holidays with kids in the house?
Viki
God bless Lene and her schedule! My own has just been blown into the ether since I now have to work next week instead of having it off. That’s 24 hrs I *can’t* knit and make progress!
Your socks and shortbread have me drooling and wondering how much sleep I really need . . . .
adorable face for the spidey mittens..did you see the spiderman costume now at build a bear? too cute!
The spidey mittens are the best – way cool!!
omg!!!!
pablo neruda socks
and butter
/swoons
“Felize and her dad” – I love Hank. I think his mittens are genius.
I sympathize with your need to do many things at once, but I don’t like Christmas schedules. (See: Latvian ornaments). I always have a back-up plan running through my head, even as I’m turning a heel on the second sock for someone.
I would be the person to help with sweets eatting prevention. I hate the way i feel emotionally and physically after eatting sugar. Don’t get me wrong! I love eatting it, it is the afterward that I hate.
I love Fiddlesticks, I made the Rippling Waters Scarf this summer (photo on my blog). There are few patterns I like to repeat, this is one of them.
Li
Just lazin’ around here…no tree, no cookie-baking, no holiday knitting, no schedule. Just hangin’ with a nice cup of cocoa surfing the blogs…..
Perhaps I am the ANTI-HARLOT, keeping the universe in balance for the remainder of human-kind.
I just got back from the freezer in the basement with 2 pieces of shortbread had to stop knitting to do it but it was goooood even frozen. Wouldn’t of thought of it if I hadn’t read your blog lol! Thanks
I love Shortbread…and cookies. And if I don’t stop eating all the cookies I made for my Holiday Party this Saturday night…we won’t have dessert! 🙂
That Hank is a cutie – I used to sing “The Leafs Probably Lost” to Feliz Navidad – it sure sounds a lot like what Jose Feliciano was singing. I’m impressed by the pace of your knitting & everything looks so good. Feel free to pass some shortbread in this direction (that is if you can spare the time).
I absolutely love the spiderman mittens. I’m tempted to make a pair for all of my nephews (well, not all…perhaps just the younger few. I doubt my 23 yr old nephew would appreciate them as much as the 7 and under few 😉 )
Don’t worry about the shortbread. Tis the season. Plus, with all the work you’re putting into the gifts you’re making, you deserve to be spoiled a little 🙂
That shortbread looks fantastic. I love shortbread. I’ve been craving cookies recently, but I’ve eaten so little that I just can’t afford to waste what little eating i manage to fit in on things without necessary nutrients.
Okay, I seriously can’t handle that tiny mitten. I could justify making a mitten of that size. And it would be good practice! Right now I’m making fingerless gloves instead. I think I’m a little stupid.
I count myself lucky as a knitter who began in November. I now know that I will never attempt to knit for Christmas.
Hey, those Spiderman mitties are so cute! You are doing a great job on your knitting. And that shortbread looks damn good!
And just to bring a little smile to your day, my husband is being driven to insanity by my constant asking for him to adopt me a sheep from “Knitting Gifts Day 13”. I ask in my best Simpson’s Children voice:
“Can I have a sheep Brian? Can I have a sheep Brian? Can I have a sheep Brian?” over and over. Then I go back to my knitting and laugh and laugh.
See? The holidays have already pushed me over the edge. I need to bring others with me…
Hey Steph. Love the adopt-a-sheep idea. I hinted (broadly) to my hubby about it. He asked if the sheep were in the US … and commented that he was afraid that I’d feel “fleeced” at the end of the day because of difficulties getting the wool past customs.
Pun intended.
I think it’s too close to Christmas for silliness like that!
Those socks are the most stunning objects I’ve seen in a very long while. Please post your magical chart for them; I’d pay you.
They are marvelous!
Not to be an enabler, and speaking only to help you to stay on schedule of course, did you consider that making a double (or even triple) batch of shortbread doesn’t take any longer than a single batch (except maybe for the baking time, but you can always knit, clean, blog-surf, etc while it’s in the oven)? And then you can hide a batch to eat later. (I mean share with your family. Yes, that’s what I meant. Share.)If you are making drop cookies, a small ice cream scoop and a very large cookie sheet make those go faster too.
Knitting burns approximately 90 calories an hour, so you can think of the shortbread consumption as necessary energy replacement — you’re sort of like a marathoner who is supposed to eat those goo packets while running. Except I’m sure your shortbread is far tastier than those icky packets.
This is not good, Stephanie. Now I can’t stop thinking about shortbread. And I have a winecozy I need to finish knitting!
You know that Hank is the perfect name for a knitter’s favorite little nephew; now, if he’d had a twin, would they have named him Skane?
That’s beautiful shortbread. I can see why you’re so tempted. My mouth is watering just from the picture. I can’t imagine if it was in front of me. I did treat myself to a piece of chocolate dipped shortbread at the coffee shop the other day. Yum. I see someone mentions a book of a 100 recipes. Yikes. I’d be sunk. Is it really not hard to make? LOVE the spidey mittens, too. I have an almost 4 year old who often refuses to wear what we make. The mitts look like a winner though!
Hey, Lene, you DID put Blogging Time on the schedule, didn’t you? What are the rest of us Yarn Whores supposed to do, shop, clean, bake and knit???
I ditto what Carol said about fleece and customs. Great idea. The next best thing to raising the sheep yourself the way I see it.
Hey Stephanie, I’ve missed your post today. Just writing to say I hope that everything is going OK.
Yours is the only blog that I would think something may be wrong when there is no post since you are usually so consistent.
I hope you are just too busy eating shortbread (Yummy!) 😛
The Neruda socks give me shivers. They are truly wonderful. Please, please provide the pattern/chart. Please.
Fabulous links, and great spiderman mittens. I know a four year old who could use some!