The Harlottiest Month

Ten Ways that December is going to be really fun in Harlotville.



1. The month kicks off with Claudia’s birthday. Go now. I’ll wait. Fill the comments of our favourite anti-blue, orange loving, funny, generous, sweetie-pie blogger with well wishes. It’s her 40th birthday. Imagine if every single person who reads this blog just went over and dropped a quick “Happy Birthday” in her comments? Overwhelm her. She deserves it.

2. 24 days until Christmas. I love Christmas. I am not religious but our family has embraced this season as a wonderful time to celebrate the people that we love and remind ourselves of our commitment to peace, kindness and the generosity that we should have every day. Plus there are cookies.

I love cookies. I word hard to make Christmas memorable. Unfortunately, this means that I swing back and forth between frantic and thrilled or thrilled and peaceful, or paniked and relaxed, or crazed and grateful for much of the month, knitting like a demon the whole time. That is very Harlotesque…is it not?

3. It is cold enough for mittens. I was going to knit them anyway…but now I look less crazy. (I know that “less” is all I can really shoot for.)

Insinel

I’m showing the mitten inside out for those of you who asked. I completely understand the desire to see the inside. I love it when people show the inside. Look…here’s another one.

Linside

4. You have my annual holiday nervous breakdown to look forward to. It’s pretty much guaranteed that I’ll be “a few elves short of an effective workshop” by mid December. That’s not good for me, but should prove entertaining for those of you who are a safe distance away.

5. Bookbookbookbook.

6. I have decided to provide an important public service. From now until December 24th I will be helping the friends and relatives of knitters to choose appropriate gifts for knitters. There will be one suggestion each day. Print them out. Leave them around. If we all work together, it should be possible to prevent any really horrendous “blender incidents” this year.

7. The girls are home from school for weeks at a time when I am sleep deprived, attempting to maintain my job and keep the house clean while simultaneously shopping, baking and putting festive clean clothes on the whole lot of ingrates while playing The Chieftans really loud. That should be fun.

8. Once again I will be warping the time-space continuum in order to knit…well, a lot. While even I cannot figure out how I do it, I can tell you that this year it will involve The Official Drink of The Harlottyiest Month – Screech and fat-free Egg Nog, as well as enough gingerbread to cause gastrointestinal effects. This combination is almost enough to take the edge off of the completely irrational fear I have of Mummers. (Mummers have never come to my house, but from the first moment that I learned about them I’ve been worried. I live with a Newfoundlander and so must never, ever lift my guard). See that? This is also the Harlottiest month because it is full of Canadian Christmas culture, and apparently alliteration.

9. December is the month in which Joe’s completely insane different approach to the holidays only makes me more me. I am bracing myself for such seasonal greats as “The tree thing” in which Joe tries to get a small tree and I mock him. “The party thing” in which we attempt to go to the same holiday party, together, at the same time…and “The Shopping thing” in which I loose my mind in progressively hysterical increments trying to get the man to BUY ANYTHING before the 24th.

10 Yesterday, when I was gripped in the 100 things list debate, Gail said:

I think it would be more fun if we, your readers, listed 100 things we know about you…your relationship with Prince, places the Dublin Bay sock has gone, how many bras you own, the name of the guy working on the back of your house, etc.

I laughed and laughed..then I thought….I think that would be more fun too.

I’ll make you a deal. You put your lists in the comments (it doesn’t have to be 100 things…one is fine, maybe even better) , and I’ll enter you in the first annual Harlottiest Month Mitten Contest. (There may never be another…)

I’ll enter all the names in a draw for a thrummed mitten kit. Not just any kit either…the yarn is the very same yarn purchased in Newfoundland and used to knit the Rhinebeck sweater, and the white roving to make the thrums was washed and carded by me. (The Harlotttiest Month Mitten Contest is a low-budget affair). I’ll post the winner on Monday…you can enter until Saturday at Midnight. Also on Monday…I’ll post the real list. (If I feel like it).

I love December.

Gifts for knitters: Day 1



The Blue Ridge Soap Shed

Extremely cool soaps, balms and salves designed for knitters.

227 thoughts on “The Harlottiest Month

  1. Something I know about Stephanie Pearl-McPhee:
    She is quite probably the funniest knitter alive. I have been a huge fan ever since reading the famous “IT” post on the Knitlist. We are in the “IT” season now, folks, so hold onto your hats and enjoy the read!

  2. Thanks for showing the inside of the mitten. Makes me feel better that my, now frogged, hat did look right on the inside.
    One think I know about you is that live in my favorite country…

  3. I love the inside out shots, too. I think it comes from my dad, but he’s a physiologist, so inside out photos are an entirely different, much grosser, thing to him.
    I know that you’re a vegetarian (as am I), and I agree that eating lamb at Sheep and Wool festivals is counterproductive to knitting…
    And I know that yours is the only knitting blog my brother reads (he thinks you’re deranged, by the way. And that’s a good thing in our family)

  4. something I know about Her Harlotness: resisting all trends and fashion decrees, she prefers colored metal knitting needles.
    And I’m with you on that cookie thing. There goes the last chance of an hour of sleep. . .

  5. I know that you knit (at least once) while ice skating. All parties involved, survived, but if recall correctly, the ball of yarn was a total loss.

  6. Here I am again, posting that is! Usually I just lurk! The lure of possibly winning a thrummed mitten kit certainly gets my bells jingling so here is my entry for your 100 things list.
    > You prefer purling to knitting.
    Not that this is a big deal or anything but when I learn of someone else with the same quirk as myself it kinda sticks in my head!
    Looking forward to reading the entire list.
    Happy Harlottydays!
    Caroline.

  7. I have been lurking for a while now . . . I know that you have three lovely daughters and you made one of them a beautiful elven princess dress for Halloween – even though you much prefer knitting to sewing! I, too, am excited about December!

  8. Two things I know about Harlot…
    She watches Survivor, but doesn’t like to admit it *grin* (BUT i LIKE IT TOO!)
    and she is very generous with helping knitters who email her frantically with knitting questions!
    mia

  9. My first post is to enter a contest. Is that sad? Anyways, I know that keep your coffee cups right side up.

  10. I’ve got two:
    Stephanie watches reality tv (it’s an excellent excuse for getting knitting done).
    Stephanie is either completely batshit insane or the most together woman in the world. Either way, she manages to make chaos entertaining while gracefully enduring the amusingly snarky comments her posts encourage.

  11. I’m confused…are we supposed to post our lists about Stephanie or ourselves?
    Here goes:
    1. I know that Stephanie has two great daughters. That tells me a lot about her.
    2. I know that she has at least one cat, and knows how to deal with said cat by making it pose with knitting. That also tells me alot about her.
    3. She is a really, really fine knitter/blogger. And getting to know her has been really interesting…(and fun.)
    Now me.
    1. I have two great kids, a son and a daughter, but I’m not sure how much I had to do with their greatness. They seem to have just come out that way.
    2. I have two cats and a corgi dog, all of whom obey me as well as my kids do…*koff* and will pose with knitting anytime.
    3. I am a novice knitter still, but am taking baby steps away from scarves towards more complicated projects. Thanks to Stephanie. Yay.

  12. I am soooo glad about the “gifts for knitters” feature in December. My husband will be as well. I’ll make sure of it.
    1 thing I know about you: you are a lactation consultant (is this in any way connected to your bra ambivalence?)

  13. Some things I know about the Yarn Harlot —
    1) She hides stash ALL OVER HER HOUSE. The same way I do. Even in the cupboards where the cups are always correctly oriented.
    2) Some day she will tell us about the BookBookBookBook. Beyond the tease of no. 5 above.
    Laurie

  14. Just like me, I know you like your silverware in its proper location. There’s is nothing more upsetting than to find your spoons in the fork spot!
    Happy Holidays!
    -Ana

  15. Something I know about Stephanie Pearl-McPhee:
    She taught her daughters the phrase “Chokin’ the Chicken” and I am still laughing over it.

  16. I’ve been a long-time lurker and your posts always make me laugh, which is why I read them at work. I’ve been brought out of the woodwork by the promise of the thrummed mitten kit. My friend made one and it is the coolest thing.
    I know you have a husband named Joe, with an affinity for electronic devices that you don’t let him leave around the house. Unless of course, you go away for the weekend, then all bets are off.

  17. The most important thing about Stephanie Pearl- McPhee is that she is by far the coolest mom alive, as is evidenced in recent blog-worthy entries (most famously, the one about NEEDS and the importance of self-love as opposed to acting on these NEEDS). This, of course, is potentially contested by her offspring, who are often labled “the ingrates” on her blogginesses’ web site, but it will eventually work itself out…oh, say when the kids are over 21 and have children of their own and Stephanie gets her revenge by saying “I told you so” and knitting her fabulous grandchildren MITTEN after MITTEN after MITTEN.

  18. Things I know about the Harlot:
    1. When sick she hallucinates that the rest of her S&B group rides the streetcars fondling wool.
    2. She & Joe have differences on proper cup placement and electronic gadgets. (And if you’re new to the blog I bet that sounds really dirty, doesn’t it?)
    3. Her daughter coined the term “Wool Pig” while arguing over a Harlot scarf.
    4. Can knit up anything in no time flat.
    5. bookbookbookbook

  19. Wow – your mitten insides are incredibly neat (both in the tidy and cool sense of the word).
    My entry for the list: Stephanie rarely follows patterns exactly as written – and while doing so inspires countless others to try their own modifications.

  20. Ok, here it goes:
    1) Joe is the man you share a Godless Heathen Union with-and have done so happily for many years.
    2) You have three daughters; all as equally talented as they are beautiful.
    3) You began knitting at four, being taught by a grandma who was not so nice-but a professional knitter.
    4) The other significant “man” in your life is Mr. Washie.
    5) You like the coffee cups put away right-side up, although Joe will try to do differently if he thinks he can get away with it.
    I will stop there lest you think I have developed some kind of Harlot obsession. Truth is I remember (for the most part) what I read-and I love reading your blog. And as I side note-your mittens look so good on the inside that those suckers are just about reversible. If only I could get my outsides to look half as good as your insides.

  21. A few things about Stephanie:
    She spins on Tuesdays.
    Her husband is from Newfoundland.
    She has a best friend named Ken, who also knits, and who also has a blog.
    She taught her daughters to knit, and they really do.

  22. hmmm…
    let’s see…i know!
    Stephanie has an ongoing competition with her brother about who will turn on the heat first (and therfore lose). Although this year, you guys “pushed”, right?
    And she depends on Screech to get her through many, many things.
    love the mittens…the braids terrify me.
    I second…what is bookbookbookbook?

  23. Something I know about you:
    You have never allowed your children to eat a Twinkie.
    Thanks for blogging. My day’s not the same if I can’t visit and giggle a while.

  24. I’ve only been reading you for a few months, but I do know you only have one bra. You’re also the only blog that makes my husband say “What are you reading?” because I laugh so much.
    Total aside, but lactation consultants are so cool! I love mine. She, too, is bra ambivalent and while I was struggling with the whole latch thing she just kept asking me if I was SURE I needed to wear a bra. Is that something they teach you to be a certified LC? 🙂

  25. Stephanie is:
    a great blog writer, spinner, knitter, and loves listening to the Chieftains
    you go girl — great mitts! (especially the inside)

  26. I know that you were pulled over on the way to the airport carrying a large bag of wine and yarn!
    I also know that your blog is the highlight of my morning!
    Janet

  27. The one thing that I know about the Harlot…. She has changed my mind about Canadians and I will never again refer to anyone living “Up North” as a D@*^ Canadian (although there is one Canadian Boy that will still be called that).
    🙂 Oh and one more thing. The Yarn Harlot makes my day.
    Happy December!

  28. I think the number one thing that should be noted about THE Harlot is that she is an enabler…how many copies of Nancy Bush’s books do you suppose have been purchased/ordered in the last week or so? How many projects have gotten started, worked on or finished…inspired by, to keep up with (ha), to compete with The Harlot? (We won’t talk about the Celtic cardigan in the corner that was going at a feverish pace during the whole Rhinebeck thing…that now waits for the insane Harlotmonth Christmas knitting to be worked on…of course when the mitten books come and the stash raided then it might have to wait again…see what you’ve done Harlot?).
    All done with a sense of humor. The woman is amazing…
    Betsy

  29. One thing I know about Stephanie – she will look at the most insane list of things that no human would ever consider trying to accomplish, decide it’s workable, and then actually finish it all.
    (Swearing along the way only adds color and interest for those of us following along)

  30. I’m stealing the idea of my list from another blogger, Gail Armstrong (http://www.openbrackets.com/) about guilt pleasures.
    My guilt pleasures list:
    1) Imported inks for my dip pens.
    2) Reading all night and calling into work sick the next day to finish the book.
    3) �Desperate Housewives�
    4) Massive crush on Ewan McGregor.
    5) Mexican hot chocolate made from scratch and with milk, not soy.
    6) Stumbling across the odd book sale and using your last $5 on 8 paperbacks.
    7) Bollywood soundtracks.
    8) Yet another pair of birch knitting needles.
    9) Taking my birthday off from work (or the closest weekday to it) and sitting at the library cafe, sipping hot chocolate outside and reading.
    10) Watching �Amadeus� and �Dangerous Liaisons� (for the 100th time) in the same day and eating nothing but microwave popcorn and Dove dark chocolate pieces.
    11) Snuggling & reading in bed with the dog, the cat, the kid (during the wicked part of winter) jazz playing in the background � all due to bad weather canceling school and travel to work that day.
    And you don’t have to enter my name for the thrum kit contest, Harlot. Now, if it were a Latvian Mitts of Lust kit, baby, I’d be all over it…

  31. The one thing that I know about Harlot:
    Harlot is the only one that I know who will drive to the airport, to pick up family/friends with a bottle of wine and something to knit in the front seat.

  32. One thing I know about Stephanie aka Yarn Harlot – she likes it when folks in (at?) public knitterly events call her by her name. Apparently, most do not and just go by “Yo, Harlot” or something equally entertaining.
    Thanks to Cate and Cate’s stories of Rhinebeck for that bit of info 🙂
    Stephanie also prefers it when her entire house (every room) has walls and a roof.
    Sara

  33. There was suppose to be a no. 12 that made my list make sense (duh):
    12. That the Harlot shares even more of her guilty pleasures with her readers, not being ashamed of them in the least, encouraging others in participating shamelessly in their own guilty pleasures which usually involving two sticks and some string!

  34. What do I know about the Harlot? (and without cheating by reading the other comments first…)
    1) You are a mom! And I am forever envious that your girls are growing up with a knitting mom.
    2) I know that if I had a mum who knit I would never turn down a handknit hat, even if it wasn’t cool.
    3) I know that you have a strange obsession (as of late) with mittens of varying nationalities!
    4) I know that you live in the same most awesome city ever as me! Toronto rules!
    5) I know that with every update you make me laugh and inspire me to keep knitting 🙂

  35. About Steph
    No one knits more beautifully. (just look at those mittens!)
    No one makes me laugh as hard. (read every post!)
    She is a very good friend to have. (see snow drop shawl)

  36. I know that you and your husband knit each other Alice Starmore sweaters as wedding gifts.
    That is so freaking cool.

  37. Yarn Harlot Fact #235…despite a rather disturbing need for control over cutlery placement, the Harlot is raising young women who aspire to be things like “graceful” and “kind” (still one of my alltime favorite posts), which is maybe not that surprising when you consider that she helps bring babies into the world, and has been known to not only knit but DESIGN a lace shawl for the really really special ones.

  38. Stephanie is capable of responding graciously to an email thanking her for destroying the pump in HER washing machine and posting about it, thereby saving MINE on the morning of my first felting experience. (Thanks again, girl)
    Steph talks on the phone, a lot.
    Steph is HIGHLY competitive. I tried to say it in a funny way, but Ken’s description overshadows any wit that I can break on the topic. He wrote in her comments awhile back…
    “Took me a while to post a comment because my monitor shorted out when my coffee got snorted all over it. Your competitive streak is tiny like Florida had a little bit of weather.”
    That was sooooo funny, it has lingered.

  39. Ahhhhhh. Reading over the list has reminded me of some of my most favorite Harlot Moments. Ahh… Sweetness.
    Somethings about are Harlot-Friend:
    1. She has a love-hate relationship with poutine. She loves it, she don’t eat it.
    2. She is definitely an enabler, Betsy. When I publish a book, I’ll ask her to make mittens from it and mention it on her blog. Ka-Ching!
    3. Public Transportation is our harlot’s friend.
    4. She has 10,000 choke cherries in her freezer. And half a pie.
    5. Our friend Stephanie was a painter once. She had a show or two, I believe.
    6. She hates Nestle, Slimy Foods, Tequila, and some slimy place called Boots.
    And finally, 7. She give really good knitting advice. *grin*

  40. The short time I’ve been reading your blog here is one thing I know about you:
    You have been introduced at a formal event as someone who knits.

  41. I know that Stephanie waits FAR longer than I do to turn her heat on in the winter.
    And she’s a knitting goddess.
    AND she’s jealous of the fact that I have a friend who lives in the same building as Lizbeth Uptis (of Latvian Mitten Fame).

  42. Thank you for letting us see the inside of those mittens!
    One thing I know about Harlot is that if she blogs long enough she will contradict herself. Yesterday she wrote “I’m thinking about a Latvian willie warmer” and on January 23 she wrote “I’ll knit anything, oh…except toilet paper covers, super bulky sweaters, barbie clothes, willie warmers”. What next, Latvian Barbie sweaters?

  43. Things I know about the harlot:
    1. You went through a period of knitting where everything was blue, so you changed the colors with photoshop.
    2. Sirdar Snowflake makes you curse, but you knit a baby sweater with it anyway (after the infamous wool pig scarf).
    3. You have unrealistic expectations of variegated yarn.
    4. You finished three shawls for you daughters on the day each of them were born.
    5. You stash wool in strange places.
    6. You’re so passionate about knitting, and such a great writer, that you not only helped convince me to pick up knitting needles, my sister has just started as well!

  44. Things I know about Stephanie —
    1. She reviews the recycle bins while taking them to the curb (and hence discovering (gasp) ice cream containers!), especially after an absence.
    2. The name of the guy on your roof is Jean.
    3. She doesn’t do zippers … but her friend Ken does. Usually.
    4. She tries to answer e-mails, and I love her all the more for it.
    5. She lives in Toronto, which isn’t that far from me. Someday I hope to meet her.

  45. Things I know about the Yarn Harlot (trying NOT to duplicate earlier responses):
    1. Stephanie and I were born on EXACTLY the same day (that’s right, even the same year…which I will not divulge, since she hasn’t).
    2. I discovered #1 when I first read the blog (on the advice of Laurie…THAT Laurie) and heard it screaming “Gemini” at me. I posted a reply to that effect; turns out I was right!
    3. We have the same “all-time most beautiful” sock pattern.
    [Sorry, this wasn’t meant to be “things I know about how YH and I are alike,” but everyone else has already covered the much of the other stuff!]

  46. Hey! Thanks for the birthday wishes (and all the sundry nice things you said about me). Soon, my head will burst and it will be quite messy to clean that up.
    One thing I know about Stephanie:
    Stephanie is not an axe murderess.
    yet. 😉

  47. I know that Stephanie and Joe do not own a car, though they do borrow cars from relatives from time to time.
    I know that Stephanie maintains an inherited boycott against Radio Shack… among others.
    I know that Stephanie has trained her daughters to check all packaging for “forbidden foods” such as transfats and tropical oils.
    And I know that I love that I know these things.

  48. That’s some nice stranding in them-thar mittens! It almost makes me want to try for myself (almost, not quite).

  49. I have followed your blog since your trip to Newfoundland and I know that you took the Dublin socks to Anne of Green Gable’s house in Cavendish!

  50. Things I know about Stephanie:
    1. She gets “Country Singer Hair” in humid weather.
    2. She can drive like an apple.
    Thanks for blogging, I get a kick out of reading about you every day.

  51. 1. Has an obsession with Latvian knitted things, including socks and mittens. We have yet to see a willie warmer
    2. Has traveled all over the east coast (and knows what mummers are)
    3. Is very, very proud of all her Canadianisms, including being liberal, spelling British, and celebrating things like screech.
    Yay for Harlot!

  52. One thing I know about Stephanie – that she has considered the possibility of knitting for Prince.

  53. Things that I know about Stephanie…
    she likes curry colors. And that she is willing to try wearing a hat if someone else knits it for her. Since she likes curry colors does that mean she likes curry?
    Her girls are extremely well adjusted despite having a mother that other knitters consider to be a certifiable knitting guru or is that the most insane knitter of the world? No, a knitting guru since she encourages all of us to expand our boundaries.
    She loves Fleece Artist and has improved their bottom line as a result of her posting. I know that when asked what I wanted as a souvenir of my parents most recent trip to Canada the answer was Fleece Artist and nothing else because of Stephanie.
    I think that some one should collect all of out listing and post them. But right now I need to get back to knitting an embellishment to go one someone’s hat. And her lovely daughters should not be thinking of “borrowing” said mother’s new hat. I like making hats! So maybe I had better knit a few extras to send…

  54. Stephanie is an “Anne of Green Gables” fan.
    Hmmm – we all know what “friend of Dorothy” means, what meaning could we apply to “friend of Anne Shirley”?
    Oh and, spideymittsspideymittsspideymitts

  55. My favorite “Harlot” fact is that you knit with *gasp* aluminum needles. It’s my favorite fact because I do too (although I love wooden needles, I have no problem using all of the cheapo aluminum ones I have in the pretty colors)!

  56. I feel compelled to write if for nothing more than I live in the land of mummers.. and I know the terror of which you speak. Holiday season in Philly consists of “winter mummerland” where mummers sit on the back of a flatbed and play holiday music while they get towed around the city. Its festive and causes traffic jams. The mummers parade is broadcast on TV on New Year’s Day for those who don’t want to stand outside on 2-street (now held on market or broad b’c its so darn big) in the cold. Here are 2 links http://www.gophila.com/photos/gallery16.htm and http://www.phila.gov/revenue/mummers/index.html
    What do I know about you? that you have calves of steel. That you hate pooling, flashing, and all those variagated yarns. That Joe says you have a nice rack. That you are a fabulous knitter. That you taunt yarn and take pictures of socks in unlikely places. And finally, you are possibly one of the kindest people I have met.

  57. *lurker de-lurking* I was thrilled to stumble on your blog – I remember your insanely funny posts from the KnitList. I know that –
    … you published an essay on being a Yarn Harlot in a major knitting magazine
    … you knit a drop-dead gorgeous Aran sweater in time for Rhinebeck – I looked for you but missed seeing it in all its glory (probably just as well – would I have really had the courage to walk up to someone just to say “please introduce me to your sweater”?)
    … your “Tuesdays are for Spinning” feature was a major factor in my decision to acquire a drop spindle at the afore mentioned Rhinebeck. Not that I’ve actually spun anything on it yet …
    Thanks for brightening my days, Ms. Pearl (not Purl)!

  58. Something to know about me: I’m still awed to have seen the Harlot herself – in person (getting out of her car at Rhinebeck)! Hope this is worthy enough to enter in your contest!

  59. I know that the Yarn Harlot hinted that perhaps President Bartlett from “The West Wing” would make a better U.S. President… and I agreed! 😉

  60. One thing I know about the Harlot, she loves to pose her knitting with flora. Another thing is she and I saw Prince on the same tour (different venues, alas, I was not near the Dublin Bay socks). She is one of the wittiest, knittiest bloggers around!-

  61. You prefer dark over milk chocolate (but “any port in the storm,” was your phrase.) And even though Twinkies are forever banned, some good See’s chocolates, even when they sprinkle almond bits in the ganache, will make the world okay again.
    And by the way, just so you know it’s a health food, dark chocolate has more flavinoids than red wine.

  62. Another lurker brought out INTO DAYLIGHT by the temptation of a thrummed mitten kit. Thrummed mittens!
    1. Stephanie is a pacifist.
    2. Stephanie has raised 3 kids who have never eaten a Fig Newton.

  63. Things this lurker knows about The Harlot:
    1. Mr. Washie has to be the “other man” in your life because the “first man” made the kitchen door too small and Mr. Washie is now a permanent resident
    2. You worried more about Rhinebeck’s fragile aran ego (what with all of the other lovely sweaters at the fiber festival) than about how to get all your fiber goodies home.
    3. You are the first blogger (myself included) to ensnare my non-knitting husband with your brilliant words (not fair!)

  64. While this is mere speculation and not necessarily fact, I think you hope that by playing the “St Stephan’s Day Murders” at full volumn while waving a half-full bottle of Screech, that your family members will decide to go shopping en masse and leave the whole quiet house to you for a few hours. But that’s just a guess. 🙂

  65. This was alluded to, but not mentioned directly…
    1) Stephanie designed and knit an AMAZING cabled sweater in an insanely short amount of time before Rhinebeck.
    oh, and
    2) She is a bit of a stickler about how ribbing works into the pattern. And you know what… me being the obsessive-compulsive perfectionist that I am, I probably will never be able to knit anything that doesn’t do that right.

  66. part of your 100 things: (i haven’t read the others so sorry if i repeat!)
    – can create new words (swaltch? harlotiest? ;o)
    – inspires others to jump up in the middle of the night to solve knitting dilemmas
    – faces impending deadlines by imposing new deadlines on herself (guests are coming? let’s paint the house!)
    – keeps me laughing each day. thank you!

  67. -The back of your house has no room – well just some plywood that Jean put up to look like a roof.
    -You shocked the blogging/knitting world by completing the ever amazing Rinebeck sweater!!!

  68. I have been lurking for a little while and the thrummed mitten kit has brought me out of the woodwork. I love knitting mittens.
    Things I know about you:
    You have an awesome poncho pattern

  69. Things I’ve learned about Stephanie (aka “The Harlot”)
    1. She can knit an aran sweater faster than most of us can pick out yarn and a pattern.
    2. Have you SEEN the back of her house?
    3. She painted her walls a lovely shade of green… that she claims clashes beautifully with the runner on the stairs.
    4. She showed her greatness as a mum by talking to her daughters about men and their “needs” (and their “chickens”).
    5. She has inspired countless knitters to approach their knitting with a greater sense of adventure and humor.

  70. *Your blog is nearly a year old (come Jan.23,’05)
    *You have had your ‘story’ published in KnitLit.
    *You consider yourself a non-athletic person (from your LaCrosse post)
    *You make me smile everyday when I read your blog

  71. One thing I know about Stephanie – she’s got wonderful double standards when it comes to whose stuff is where – yarn on the kitchen table is okay, but all that “electronics stuff” had better find somewhere else to be!

  72. Things that pop to mind when I think about what I know about our favourite “Harlot”:
    – she has a somewhat lacking sense of direction and a husband who understands this completely
    – she has an irrational need to remodel her entire house when guests are coming (sew-up in November)
    – she and her husband have a wickedly symbiotic relationship and he still thinks she has a “nice rack”
    – she is an ice-cream nazi
    Think, think, think, must think of more . . .

  73. *clears throat*
    [sings to the Twelve Days of Christmas]….
    On the twelfth day of Christmas the Harlot gave to me:
    – Dublin socks that travel!
    – Tuesdays are for knitting!
    – Tons of Rheinbeck pictures!
    – Major yarn stash envy!
    – Hot brothers painting!
    – Jolly friends a-roofing!
    – A Very Harlot Poncho!
    – Five! Sock! Suggestions!
    – Bookbookbookbookbook
    – Love-ly kids!
    – Two Lat-vi-an mittens
    And a single bra that’s hanging from the treeeeeeee!
    *bows*

  74. Your children claim that they do not know of this “Mr. Washie” of whom you speak, despite the fact that he is in the house every day. I sometimes wonder if he cries himself to sleep.

  75. I only wish I could make the outsides of mittens like that look as good as your insides!!
    Something I’ve learned about Stephanie from the short time I’ve been reading:
    She is not into upgrading her computer. She thinks if is isn’t broken, don’t break it with an upgrade!

  76. Thrummed mitten kit!
    1. You have three daughters. The oldest, Amanda, plays the violin with the Toronto [Something] Orchestra.
    2. You have a nephew named Hank.
    3. Your other daughters are Megan and Samantha. Samantha once lost her glasses.
    Umm. There’s probably more, but maybe that’s enough for now.

  77. Stephanie:
    1. Was the only person knitting at the Prince concert, at which she sat in the 17th row.
    2. Knits cables without a cable needle.
    3. Has Ukrainian neighbors who steal cherries in the middle of the night, and she’s ok with that.

  78. I have a burning question: Do you line your mittens?? In the book _Magnificent Mittens_ Ms. Zilboorg suggests lining the mittens. I am afraid I’d snag the bejeebers out of the stranding with my rings.
    Happy December!

  79. Fact: the Mango top can only be worn while standing perfectly still, or for private viewing by Joe.

  80. –dares electrocution by crock pot when dying yarn
    –has fiber stealing squirrels out back
    –defies the cold weather with home renovation

  81. I know that Stephanie had knitting in her freezer (or was it yarn?) when she hosted the afghan-along.
    I also know that she hasn’t yet told us why like she PROMISED she would.

  82. 1. The Harlot uses a Mac which was recently upgraded to OS 10.3 (Panther). She does not like upgrades.
    2. The Harlot says Nancy Bush is the only person to write a pattern she has not had to alter.
    3. The Harlot is ridiculously nice considering her popularity. One of the first times I got introduced to the Harlot was through a thank you note on another blog. The girl had posted wanting yarn the color of a morning glory. Stephanie spun it and then posted in search for the blogger.
    4. Her kids have never eaten a twinkie.

  83. Ms. Stephanie
    – does not like to be called Stephie
    – knits beautiful socks, and has inspired me to try to knit some up – even though the mere sight of those itsy bitsy teeny tiny needles has me trembling with apprehension.
    – makes my day brighter – I absolutely LOVE to get to work…only so I can read her blog first thing!
    Have a beautiful Christmas season!

  84. I am relatively new to the world of yarnharlotry–a tenure of only a year or so–but I do know this: Mention “Lithuanian mittens” and she will google it. Immediately.

  85. I’m so glad no one posted my fact:
    The Harlot family has biked and camped for part of their vacation over the past few years. This year’s vacation included stops in PEI and Nova Scotia.

  86. 1. The Harlot is curious about Cask & Creme but hasn’t said if she has tried it yet. (FYI Steph, I found out last weekend they also have chocolate and it is yummy!!!)
    2. I was going to mention the coffee cups but someone else beat me to it.
    3. She can knit a sweater faster than I can read a pattern for one.
    4. Since I haven’t been reading the blog long, the Dublin Bay sock went to Newfoundland on your family vacation.

  87. Things I know about the Harlot:
    1. Her best friend is Ken who also knits.
    I know more, but I am sticking to the recommended “one might be better” comment.

  88. Well, since others are coming out of lurking, I’ll do it too. My favorite thing about the Harlot: when her computer caught fire, the first thing she did was check her knitting! (acrylic)! And you taught me the cool thing about using the spacebar to scroll down the pages; now I can read blogs and knit at the same time. Excellent.

  89. One thing I know about my fave blogger:
    You are maybe almost as anal retentive as I am. This can be demonstrated by our shared lack of respect for uncontrollable color changes in variegated yarns.
    I love the inside of your mittens, they are almost as pretty as the outside! So it’s rum you mix with eggnog huh? I’ve gone through my first two containers of eggnog but couldn’t remember what yummy alcoholness people add to it. I promised my bf no more eggnog till it’s closer to Christmas, but in a couple weeks I’ll be set!

  90. I know that Stephanie knows lots about birthin’ babies, and burpin’ em too, I’ll bet.

  91. I distinctly remember that you survived ripping back a LOT of mitten after discovering you’d forgotten a braid and managed to finish pair. I think I’d have died if it was me. Maybe that’s a bit strong. But I’m sure I’d have at least abandoned the project for a few months.

  92. One thing I know about Harlot…
    is that she values yarn/fiber high above misc electronic parts, and is familiar with the smell of said parts burning/smoking.
    I am going out on a limb there, but I remember that post well.

  93. Things I know:
    1- Stephanie/Harlot is the mitten goddess.
    2- Stephanie is able to single-handedly affect the income of yarn producers and book publishers by simply mentioning them on her blog.

  94. Okay… I am delurking and I don’t even KNIT!
    (My partner does, though, so if I win, the kit shall be hers, and I won’t even say it’s a Christmas gift – I’ll just give it to her.)
    Among the facts I have picked up is that during her trip to Nova Scotia, PEI, and Newfoundland… a trip inside Baadeck Yarns made even the normally intrepid Yarn Harlot a bit woozy.
    Bookbookbookbook???? Teasing during the Christmas season is unfair, unless you wear an elf suit (making an elven costume does not count).

  95. One thing I know about the Yarn Harlot:
    She doesn’t hug knitters. She *nods* in their general direction.
    Beat Sandy to it! Ha! The satisfaction of it all. 🙂

  96. 1. The Harlot does a very good thing for women in her doula role.
    2. The Harlot has no clue about balance, but has a firm grasp on sanity.

  97. 1. the harlot has a nephew named hank whose favorite color is pink.
    2. she write a hilarious blog that i read every day but never comment on.

  98. Thrummed Mitten Kit!
    * The Yarn Harlot uses fall(en) maple leaf leaves for her background when pictures are required for posting her fabulous works of art… that or the kitty… or the mousepad.
    * She must be a very harlotishious woman! She keeps me laughing every day in ways that have my co-workers checking to see what I’m up to.

  99. Things To add to the 101…List:
    a)the Harlot has a chemical weakness for Babies
    b)the Harlot WILL survive her daughters adolescence, but just barely
    c)the Harlot is my Co-Pilot!
    d) the Harlot’s Tuesdays are for Spinning will someday be an internationally recognized event.

  100. Another lurker…
    A Harlotty fact:
    If she ever decided to give up her real job and knitting, Stephanie could be a cartographer. I’ve printed out her airport map, because it works for nearly every airport I’ve ever been to, even in Russia, where I currently reside.

  101. Harlot, You make my day, as always.
    I know this about the Harlot:
    It takes her a bit too long to realize that mauve and purple dublin bay socks are completely incompatible with her hockey-loving, beer-drinking brother who paints her house. But, the Dublin Bay socks make any event a party.
    oh– and the drops. We Hates the drops.
    And have you SEEN the back of her house?
    Thanks.

  102. What I know about Stepahnie –
    Adores Anne (of Green Gables)
    Makes Many Marvelous Mittens
    Grows Great Girls
    Drastically Delays the Date of De-chilling the Domicile
    Is Impressively Insane
    Redecorates rashly and randomly, for the onset of others
    Keeps Coffee Cups Correctly Erect
    … and
    Knits Niftily on Needles
    (your alliterative list…)

  103. 1,001 (or did I lose count? I’m sorry, I couldn’t read all those comments — my eyes are rather fragile at the moment, the bandwidth on MY server was about to crash just to load the webpage to read, and plus I’ve got work to do), but….. 1,001: Harlot’s friend Norma cannot turn her back to, say, go to work for a day, without coming home to find out that Harlot has truly chickened out about putting up her 100 list, and instead gone for the cheap trick of running a contest to up her stats and comment numbers. PSHAW, I saw! PSHAW! (oh, wait, the question wasn’t “all about me?” aw, fuck. I don’t stand a chance.)

  104. Don’t know much about you (yet), but you shouldn’t be afraid of Mummers. They throw a parade for my birthday every year in Philly. Nothing to be scared of – unless you’re allergic to alcohol and feathers. Have a great December!

  105. OK, I admit I was a wee bit more interested in the sock obsession than the mitten obsession.
    Socks are just more, err, relevant when you live in California. Still, you knit one heck of a mitten, and have inspired me to take up two handed knitting on dpns. Heavens, the power you wield over your readers!
    Thanks for the inspiration and laughs each day.
    -leslie
    Things I know about Steph.
    1) Hates to knit with cotton
    2) Once discovered charming daughters making voo-doo dolls

  106. I have blown through the comments, I mean, I have other things to do. Or at least ONE other thing. So here is a short list, sorry if I repeat everyone.
    1. Harlot has three daughters (just like me) and one plays the violin, another has taken up the elephant, uh, I mean french horn. In my home we have two ducks (oboes) and a bunch of sopranoes.
    2. Harlot writes about the best husband. I don’t think he really exists. I mean, she has a husband, but she must just be really good at looking past the normalness of him and seeing…..Mr. Perfect. I must be married to him too, I just see all the normal with the totally awesome. Another thing we have in common: great husbands.
    3. Harlot doesn’t eat processed foods, although when her back is turned her kids turn into gluttons. Here is one instance where Harlot and I part ways.
    4.Doula. No, I am not a doula, but my best friend and my cousin are. There is an interesting story there Steph. I’ll share it with you sometime.
    5. And though I have much more to say, I’ll finish with-Harlot tortures and teases us with “bookbookbookbookbook”. Really, I am losing sleep! I NEED TO KNOW! I have worked up all kinds of things it might be. My imagination is going wild. Okay, I won’t be sharing that here!
    Steph, I cannot wait to meet you and your girls someday. Perhaps it will be at the symphony where all the principal seats will be filled with daughters of Harlot and the Blues. And our clicking needles will draw irritated glances and comments from family members, but tralalala, we don’t care!

  107. My Favourite Harlot thing-
    The Harlot and her Hubby’s ongoing coffee cup battle-
    Turning the cups upside down in the cupboard will result in a wap to the head so fierce that mittens will fly from the coffee cup turners eyeballs, and they will fall face first into a pile of electronic parts so large they will never be heard from or seen again! DUMDUMDUM…

  108. Something I don’t think anyone has mentioned… you knitted a gorgeous snowdrop shawl for a baby who, if I remember correctly, didn’t deign to enter the world until after the snowdrops were past. But it’s still a great shawl (and a great baby, of course).

  109. Stephanie:
    1. When she has people over, she has to paint the entire house first. Which made me feel better, because everytime I think of inviting anyone over, I think about how I really should paint the hallway.
    2. Enjoys freezing everyone to death, but does seem to draw the line at actual snow in the house.
    3. Would probably not enjoy a deep fried twinkie. 🙂

  110. Some things I know about the yarn harlot.
    1. The harlot owns one bra, which she only wears for special occasions (read: company coming).
    2. The harlot is VERY competitive. We all remember the Rhinebeck Rhapsody in Blue incident, don’t we?
    3. The harlot recently taught her daughter the term, “Choke the Chicken”.
    4. Doesn’t buy into that whole circular needle racket.
    5. Was introduced at a fancy-shmancy party as Stephanie — she knits.
    6. Finds it impossible to follow a pattern without altering it in some way — even her own patterns.
    7. Went through an alarming poncho phase, but seems to be detoxing at the moment.
    8. Inspires, amuses, delights all with her wonderful knitting and her wicked sense of humour.

  111. something we know about steph:
    she single-handedly caused a knitting revolution equal to that of the charlotte craze by revealing her source for the mexican wave shawl kit.
    that company should’ve given you free yarn for a year with the business you sent their way!

  112. What I know about The Harlot: she can make an anti-crafty teenage girl read about knitting and thereby be able to ask for a knitted object by name. (“A pair of Estonian mittens, please, Mom”)

  113. Mitteny goodness! I’m impressed that you can get your floats so nicely tensioned. But don’t your fingernails get caught in them?
    Since my hands are cold during my first winter-with-snow:
    Things I know about Harlot (I tried not to duplicate):
    1. She floats, does not strand.
    2. She once almost used a hair dryer on newly-washed wool so she could get to the knitting part faster.
    3. She took the whiny Dublin Bay socks to a street party.
    4. She has “Find Your Own Food Fridays” for her family, an idea I greatly admire.
    5. She once knit a really charming Eeyore blankie as a gift.
    6. She almost did not go to the party to present said Eeyore blankie because she was in the clutches of a particularly pretty bit of wool that needed, NEEDED, to be spun RIGHT THEN AND THERE.
    7. The spinning wheel became inexplicably attached to her leg. After she had switched legs. And taken Tylenol.
    8. She discovered it is very hard to hide a spinning-wheel-attached-to-one’s-leg from one’s family.
    9. She tried.
    10. She has made Nancy Bush, Nancy Bush’s publishers, and Nancy Bush’s publicity agents very happy people.
    Knit on, Stephanie!

  114. Ahem.
    Stephanie knit mittens for her husband, but didn’t like the pointy tips. They were beautiful mittens.
    She only has one bra, which is probably the way I should go, except that I need one black and one beige for matching purposes.
    She invented a poncho pattern and then proceded to knit it in multiple sizes for multiple people, including one too small to appreciate a proper YO.
    She once fixed her daughter’s hat (I belive it was Meg’s) after Meg had done a good five inches on DPNs without realizing that her stitches were twisted in the first place. (I once made this mistake, except the stitches weren’t twisted. I just ended up making a mess and having to start over. It was very sad.)
    She contributed a very funny story to Knit Lit II, regarding knitting while ice-skating.

  115. How funny is that, while following all these lists popping up in knitblogs the last days I was wondering if I should write one for myself. I wrote an article that it could be vain writing such a list and about the motivation of all the interest by myself reading these lists. Tonight I got the idea it could be better more objective if my husband and I wrote each a list about the other. We didnt discuss this yet.
    End of blahblah.
    What I know about you?
    Everything you want your readers to know, nothing less nothing more.
    Somebody mentioned that you have three daughters, I thought there was a boy beside the two girls.
    What I remembered from your blog most is, that you always finished the Baby Blanket just short before the baby was deliverd.
    It came to my attention, making a list is that inside out turning like you did with the mittens.
    And both show always the good sides 😉

  116. Let’s see…
    1. You are a doula and a lactation consultant
    2. You knit a lace baby blanket for each of your three children and each was born immediately after their blanket was finished
    3. You have a complex relationship with Mr Washie
    4. You have recently been informed by one of your daughters that you are a “dork” (opinion not shared by this loyal reader)

  117. yay mitten kit!
    what I know about Stephanie: she, like me and so many others, tries to use the power of her mind to retrieve lost knitting needles.

  118. Things I know about Harlot:
    1.That Meg “borrowed” her Knit Wit book.
    2.I would be to blamed if Harlot’s stash started to dwindle becasue Meg decided to try other patterns, such as Voodoo. 🙂

  119. Well for a shot at a mitten kit, I think I can come up with something……
    The Harlot is powerless before the Mexican Wave yarn. Even though it is acrylic.
    Mr. Washie can never break because he can’t be removed from the basement.
    She got a headlamp stuck in her hair while camping.
    She has calf muscles to respect and envy.
    She tried to knit white yarn while skating and there were Incidents as a result.
    Cheers!

  120. The Harlot hates laundry almost as much as I do.
    The Harlot folded 999 paper cranes for Ken (including the smallest one), to show him how close they were. One more would be senzaburu and they’d have to get married.
    She has knit countless socks for Ken. He’ll never catch up, though she did get a single Latvian sock for her birthday.
    The Harlot’s birthday is June 14.

  121. I know that the Yarn Harlot is a really cool mom and has taught her daughters (with trendy terms used, mind you) about the “needs” of adolescent and teen boys. Yay Yarn Harlot!

  122. Because I love you, and because I wouldn’t mind a thrummed mitten kit:
    I know that you were once introduced at a wedding(in what was my favorite Harlot posts of all time, and the one I think you should submit to Annie Modesitt’s essay collection) not as a writer, or the wife of, or as the fabulous mother of, but as “A Knitter”.

  123. Haven’t read all the others, here’s a few of mine:
    1. Has big hair (although it is so a match for her spirit, that a Steph with flat (ie straight hair) just wouldn’t do.. and hey hair is fibre…)
    2. Invited total strangers to her house to sew up afghans for other total strangers (and we all had a ball)
    3. Painted her hallway a lovely green colour.
    4. Almost signed an agreement to not buy anymore yarn, but refrained (spelling)
    5. Has a couple of books underway that she won’t talk about.
    6. Wrote an amazing commentary about becoming a mother after sharing in the birth of our son Huxley.
    7. Can swear like any good construction worker…
    8. Is loved and read by more people than I have seen any other blog being read and loved

  124. Oh the Harlot is a lactation dingsbums (german word for thingy) and a doula? If I knew that earlier I could have bothered her with all my questions and about longtime nursing 😉

  125. Things I know:
    – Stephanie buys souvenir yarn while on trips
    – Mr Washie got a new pump after a felting incident left him constipated
    – Stephanie encountered The Claw while knitting Ken’s socks
    – Her lovely husband, Joe, is knitting mittens for her
    – Her writing and knitting have inspired many to think beyond their previously perceived abilities and try something new
    Love your blog and am looking forward to hearing more about the bookbookbookbookbook.

  126. Stephanie:
    – knows better than to knit while skating, yet does it anyway.
    – is currently repressing her urge to knit everything in blue.
    – can turn the most mundane knitting “experiment” into a maniacal, hilarious event (and is kind enough to share the story with the rest of us!).
    – is Canadian.
    – loves the first day of school.
    Looking forward to the annual holiday breakdown! 🙂

  127. Not that I *need* a mitten kit – I’d be able to wear them one day of the year without boiling in Sydney, but still:
    – Stephanie saves the smallest bits of yarn with the thought that one day she may knit a Kafe Fasset design.

  128. fact: Ms. Stephanie is co-hosting the “Thrum-along”, a virtual mitten-knittin’ party.
    fact: I have no way to try thrumming unless… 🙂
    (Would Buffalo yarn work if you fluffed it up…?) (Not fibre shaved off a buffalo, I mean that rustic, not very twisted pure wool stuff I might be able to find in Distant Department Store.)

  129. Today on campus a girl was dressed up as a Twinkie and she along with four other people were handing out the spongy treat. I thought of you and your twinkie deprived daughters.

  130. Wow! I gave up reading the entries because I didn’t want to knowingly copy anybody. Harlot does NOT look good in hats (she said it, not me). Harlot is kind of over the poncho thing. Harlot knits things for babies that she helps bring into the world–amazing. Harlot had the self-control to NOT complain about climbing a mountain after her father-in-law told her that he loves to RUN up the mountain whenever he gets a chance. Harlot is the patron saint of all the knitters I know!

  131. Let’s see, I know that Stephanie knits the best travelled socks around which she spoils rotten by taking them out to see the world whenever they start to whine. I know that her children have been so well loved that they post their goals on post-it notes in the chaos which passes for their room. I know that she is gracious, funny, kind, reverent, irreverent, complex, and manages to leave us all laughing ourselves senseless.
    I also know and that the noise outside my study right now means that my living room is going to look like the back of her house by tomorrow…in Vermont in December!

  132. Things I know about Stephanie…
    I know that she likes to knit “backwards” (everyone else looks at me like I am insane when I do this)
    I know that she DOES NOT want her computer upgraded (I don’t either, and I don’t want you to mess with my settings)
    I know that she is so entertaining that when I discovered her blog I read the entire archives (6 months or so worth) and I frequently read her blog to my mother
    I know that she engages in heat wars (I made it into November, which given that I live in South Dakota was not bad. My younger brother who lives in a colder part of South Dakota almost NEVER turns his heat on. However, this is a statement on how much heat seeps into his apartment from the neighbors, NOT his fortitude)
    I know more (do you ever feels that your readers might have an unhealthy obsession with all things Harlot), but I need to go home now.
    Elizabeth W.

  133. Despite her emphatic stand on the proper placement of coffee cups in the cabinet, I happen to know that Stephanie does not care whether the toilet paper rolls over or under the roll, even though some of us take a strong stand on that issue. Betsy in California

  134. Shortly after I stumbled onto Stephanie’s blog,she started knitting a swatch…..The swatch that grew and grew until it was the most beautiful shawl. Stephanie, you inspire all of your readers to greater heights, both in knitting and in real life. Thanks for keeping us all in stitches.

  135. Stephanie owns one bra and franticly searches for it when appropriate occasions arise to wrestle it and put it on.
    She is also my main reason to read knitting blogs. Hers is the only one I read with any consistency.
    Though I don’t have a frantic month planned…. I get to vicariously enjoy one.
    My heartfelt thanks to you and your family!
    Muffy

  136. Yarn Harlot:
    1) Apparently looks like a penis when she wears a hat… although I have yet to see proof of this.
    2) Taught me that it’s OK to like ponchos.
    3) Works hard to read everyone’s comments.

  137. You get that most wonderful feeling when you watch your children perform, that radiant I am so very proud of my splendid kid feeling.
    I’m drawing a blank on your descriptive phrase, but Stephanie, didn’t you post about knitting a few rows on one of your kids’ projects when she was asleep? It’s a practice Smallness and I do for each other when we are bogged down.
    And, don’t you wear glasses?

  138. Stephanie’s
    – mitten interiors are just as pretty as the outsides. Once again proving it is the beautiful that can say it is what’s inside that counts.
    – a good sport with a sense of humor. This is important as she usually gets stuck with all the chores and has three teens.
    – a fantastic knitter… But also makes me wonder if she has ever threatened someone with a needle or five. Or really really tempted.
    – Has a great brother, great husband, and great handy-friend. She’s surrounded by excellent men. The knitting alone is enough to make us envious.
    – sometimes troubled late at night with “imperfect” knitting. So she gets up and reknits. At 2 am.
    – toilet bowl is not frozen. Bah. I might just google images for frozen toilet bowl but I can be assured they won’t have a nice pair of mittens to spice up the picture.
    #1- Stephanie’s very well liked.
    Thanks for posting the xmas gift ideas. Perhaps we can bomb your bandwidth some more and just tell people to go to your site for a wishlist. 🙂

  139. First of all, the yarn harlot’s blog makes me laugh a lot too:)
    Facts that I know about Stephanie:
    1) She is Canadian and lives in the GTA
    2)She has a nephew named Hank
    3) One of her daughters plays a mean violin
    4) Stephanie went through a poncho phase
    5) More than one person On stephanie’s christmas list will be getting amazing mittens this year

  140. ” … whack of farty little elves …” wins for most quoted Harlotism at my house this holiday season.
    Thanks for being number one on my post-partum blues coping list.

  141. One thing I know about Stephanie is that she believes that, cloaked in a hat (presumably any hat), her head is phallically shaped.
    Perhaps this is the reason she is so able to speak to her daughters about NEEDS and not necessarily taking responsibilities for others’ NEEDS.
    And that any day with a new Harlot post is a happy day for me.

  142. One thing I know about you, Steph:
    Your hands are smaller than mine!
    …I hope your Xmas holiday is filled with love, good cheer, and lots of cookies!

  143. Apparently I have NOTHING to do and nowhere to go because I read every comments just so that I don’t repeat.
    1. Harlot’s favorite cookbook is Moosewood Restaurant Cooks at Home.
    2. Harlot thought that one day she will catch up on her laundry.
    3. Harlot was denied of having a poncho when she was a kid and therefore went into a poncho craze awhile back.
    4. Harlot made me sorry that I gave up on my Canadian PR, otherwise I could be residing in the same country with her.
    Shu-mei

  144. I know that Steph is a compassionate person. She hides behind the laughs as I do, which can be a very safe place to be.
    Steph cares, loves and gives. Otherwise, how could there be this blog with all the giving that is entailed?
    Wanda

  145. Stephanie hates to crochet. Despite this, she made a beautiful “Jessica Simpson” shawl for her sister’s birthday.
    She has inspired me to make thrummed mitten (singular) and recognize second mitten syndrome. (I think I have the viral type.)
    Most importantly, she makes me laugh every day.

  146. Want to be entered in the thrummed mitten contest. I am fairly new to the blog, but simply love it. Can’t wait to check it out each day. Stephanie has to be the coolest mom, knitter, spinner anywhere. Has inspired me to knit socks again. One pair down and another started.

  147. I really don’t know much of anything about Stephanie. Oh, yes, I think I know that she ownes only one bra and that it sometimes disappears. However, I am desparate for mittens — really, really desparate. A year ago I moved to an area near Rheinbeck and it is COLD here. But I do have a guest room, Stephanie, and October 2005 is not that far away. As I keep telling my friend, Cassie, I can be bribed. . . .

  148. While she has vowed in the past not to ever knit Barbie clothes, she did break down and knit the wee things…and liked it!
    And she is easily plied with coffee, chocolate, and colored aluminum needles.

  149. The Yarn Harlot has the most wonderfully sarcastic sense of humor.
    Who needs 99 other things on the list? That alone makes the Harlot memorable.

  150. I can’t believe that the waving of a prize in the air could make me de-lurk yet a second time!
    Okay, this I know about Stephanie: that you wore an oh-so-chic skinny tie with a white shirt in your grade 10 high school photo (which was nothing compared to the stop-sign glasses I wore up to grade 8). And, so you don’t think I’m stalking you or anything, I stumbled upon your website back in the summer from someone who mentioned it on our high school alumni message board. As soon as I saw the words yarn & harlot together, I knew I had to check it out!
    I also know that you are amazingly fast at knitting thrummed mittens, which I truly admire, given that I have never tried thrumming (it looks so complicated & hard!). Maybe one day I will (hint, hint!).

  151. i know, i know! you own one bra and Jean is making the back of your house look like the back of a house 🙂 i love reading your blog!

  152. delurking for… What I know about Stephanie:
    1. Every night after my 6 y/o daughter is asleep I creep off to the computer to commune with the Yarn Harlot. In this little ritual I am never disappointed. You are smart, funny, radical, and must be about the fastest knitter on the planet. I’d love to see a little video clip of you knitting (does the yarn smoke?)
    2. The YH is a liberal and was kind enough to commiserate with all of us US liberals on Nov. 4.
    3. When the male world gets her down, Stephanie refers to their toys (electronics, heavy machinery, etc.) as thingies, which I love.
    4. I thank the goddess for the Yarn Harlot!

  153. What I know about Stephanie… Hmm, lots! But the one thing that sticks in my mind and has made me paranoid about knitting on trams is that Stephanie dropped a DPN on the streetcar as it juddered its way over a notoriously bad junction. The DPN fell into a crack in the floor. Even with the power of her mind she could not retrieve it. As Yoda would say, Do or do not! There is no try!
    Plus I would never have taken up spinning without the sight of that lovely Laurie roving in about May. And the calves in the resulting socks 😉 Thanks, o peddler of evil!

  154. 6 Steph facts:
    1) Tuesdays are for spinning.
    2) Possesses 1 bra (a furtive bra at that) but many mittens- hmmm what does that tell us?
    3) Hates to be called Stephie.
    4) Stashes stash all over the house.
    5) Creates fleece rats while washing fleece.
    6) Has a fleece stealing squirrel living in the backyard.

  155. You love to thrum.
    Your daughter now knows the term ‘choke the chicken’ (which is the male version of ‘strumming’ in the UK!)
    You keep your knitting in the freezer (for some unexplained reason)

  156. harlot lore:
    — also known as Aunt Steppie, keeper of magic knittening secrets
    — married to a Bay Man who will hold her spindle without complaint
    — maintains profound relationship with Mr. Washie while filling her unfinished home with breathtaking mittens
    –produced pink dragon mittens to replace lost mitten mousie
    –previously addicted to ponchos
    –funny, and a mom.

  157. I am delurking to say that Stephanie is a generous knitter. One just has to look around blogland to see all the ponchos made with her pattern.

  158. Something about the yarn harlot :
    1. Drives around with yarn and booze in her knitting bag .
    2. Coffee is an essential drink .
    3. She was uneasy about flying .
    4. She writes one hell of a blog !
    Kim O

  159. You have sooo many posts that you probably don’t want to read another. 🙂
    Your mitts look fab inside out. Did you teach yourself Fair Isle?
    The main thing I know…your funny as hell!!!

  160. I don’t exactly *need* thrummed mittens (but wouldn’t say no if I won – if just for the bragging rights), but after reading so many messages of Happy Harlot Memories, I wanted to contribute.
    I’m not quite sure what it says about me that I’ve got a special folder in Outlook where I’ve saved every ‘Pearl’ of Stephanie’s that I could find from the KnitList. I found two things that haven’t been mentioned yet:
    1. She has knit several uteri.
    2. She coined the term Freakin Birds’ – that still gives me the giggles. 🙂

  161. I know that Stephanie lost a knitting needle on the bus one day and made a public spectacle of herself trying to find it (as have I, along with having a ball of yarn roll under the first seat on the bus and all the way to the back of the bus).
    I also know that I wouldn’t have tried or finished my thrummed mittens without the thrum along.
    And last but not least, I know that Hank gets really cool things!

  162. What I know about Stephanie: That her hair blows up exponentially when introuduced to humid air and that she is possibly the most entertaining knitter on the planet.

  163. One thing sticks out in my memory: Stephanie would sleep with Prince right-here-and-now, if he asked. 🙂 And Joe knows.
    BTW, the mere thought of *winning* the fabulous mitten kit…well, scares me silly.

  164. Something about the Harlot: her family discusses their daily activities in these terms: “Yes, but is it blog-worthy?”
    Thank goodness the answer is usually YES!
    Stephanie – your blog is the greatest – always makes me laugh and puts the bad stuff in perspective. Don’t stop the mittens!
    Carol

  165. The Harlot was once allowed to drive on to the airport when the officer found her in possession of two bottles of wine and an abundance of knitting in her backpack! She also has given us a fabulous map of the airport terminal.

  166. 1) The Harlot Poncho is fun to knit. I am whipping one up for my neice.
    2) Ice cream is forbidden except when Stephanie is at Rhinebeck.
    3) Morehouse wool is good for a baby’s sweater but the pooling simply did not work with lace.
    4) Stephanie’s blog makes me laugh at work too!!! Thank you for that special gift of laughter!
    5) I have never knit a pair of mittens and would like to try….so here I am entering rather than just reading and lurking…..

  167. Another thing I thought of:
    The Harlot would be shocked at the idea of a woman with a 25-inch head (which I have – I have measured many, many times – but I’m tall and balanced so I don’t look like a Bratz doll). The Harlot made a hat recipe that will fit even my big head.

  168. One thing I know about Stephanie:
    She holds off turning on her heater in the Fall for as long as possible. This was when I first started reading her blog, and I’ve been reading it ever since. Not only is she an exceptional knitter, but she is an exceptional writer as well!

  169. I know that Stephanie:
    -has invented the most powerful delurking device known to humankind such that NORAD will be installing it at both Baffin AND Ellesmere Islands
    -is the only person who can use “spoon” and “access” in the same sentence and make me snort my tea
    -lives by my personal credo “there is never a deadline so loomy that you can’t add another thing to do” (I’m forever keeping my party guests from leaning on walls.)
    -is the only blogger who regularly gets read aloud to the significantly-taller-other
    -is a fellow gemini who does posess the “shiny string” syndrome, but who doesn’t live like the word should be pronounced “ge-ME-ni”
    (Thanx, Stephanie!)

  170. I’m not joining the list of competing commenters. I just wanted to say that I got some of those soaps last year for Christmas. They have a wonderful fragrance but some of them really make my hands feel dry. But I have Udderly Smooth for that. How long does it take to actually read 193 comments?

  171. What I know about Stephanie:
    She is hilarious, absolutely one of the funniest women alive, nevermind knitters!
    She is, ahem, ever-so-slightly obsessive….
    and, not lastly, she is a hell of a knitter.
    I can’t believe how many posts you got, chickie! Wowza!

  172. Hi Stephanie,
    What I *think* I know about you – which I have never been able to find again in your archives to confirm – and which if it’s not true I don’t want you to tell me because it makes me really happy and not so scared to become a mother this year – is that you got drunk and threw up the night before your daughter’s birthday party and were hard pressed to make the pancakes, or whatever they were.

  173. OK, I feel really bad now about my previous comment because the more I think about it the more I think I’m making it up. So I apologize for whatever combination of events I put together to turn you into a drunk, Stephanie.
    Also, I want you to reach 200 comments soon.

  174. I always get a lift reading Stephanie’s blog, and the mittens are awesome. I know that she usually changes patterns around, as she is knitting them. I also know that she owns one bra. She also has a long-term relationship with Prince.

  175. What do I know about SPMcP?
    She has Fibre in her Genes…..and very likely fibre in her jeans.
    This makes 200 posts I beleive.
    If I win, please hold my prize till my computer geek husband gets home with the lap top!
    Love your mittens, and envy the inside. I am an obsessive “twister” of yarn. Some fool once said that if it wasn’t properly twisted a hole would appear. Since I am a belt and suspender type person, the inside of my fairisle never looks like yours. Sigh.
    Barb Brown

  176. I now know, that whatever it was that Ken said about the Harlot in her birthday post, is certainly true, and not just a birthday guest-blogger violin concerto.
    And she gets more comments than I can safely read at work.
    And she probably won’t post in the next couple of days, because she’ll read all comments and try to reply to them. And bake cookies. And knit. And keep her daughters honest. And keep Joe happy. And Mr. Washie. And knit.

  177. I just read your hank entry from the other day. I’d like to say that it doesn’t matter what the spidey mitts look like, that he’ll love them anyway, but we both know that’s a big lie. I’m wondering if i can somehow trick him ( I know this hasn’t been done before) into telling me what spidey mitts might have on them. Spiderman himself? Webs? It’s all too much for me. Your nuts for even attempting this.
    erin

  178. How gorgeous are the innards to those mittens!!! It’s enough to make me want to sign out from work, run home and begin knitting with color. I know a little something about our Harlot. She, like myself cannot bear to discard a small(ish) ball of yarn, and has considered using them to create a something ala Kaffe Fassett. I vaguely remembered reading about him (when he was king, i was in a non-knitting phase of life, ugh.) I went to the website our Harlot pointed to, found a book of his I lusted after and now have it in my possession….I just remembered something else about Stephanie Pearl-McPhee – her husband introduced her to a group of people at a wedding (i think?) as a knitter – we all agreed she’s a KICK-ASS, wicked fast knitter…. so that’s two things i know… 🙂

  179. Steph has issues with variegated yarn. And Steph never really *got* the whole Charlotte thing. Love the mitts. You are wicked funny to boot.

  180. Since I just started reading regularly most of the things I know are from reading the over 200 comments! I do know that Stephanie knits the most wonderful, colorful mittens and I want to be just like her! Oh, and I guess she has 1 bra.

  181. Over 200 comments, you must have listed everything by now, so the thing I know about the Harlot is, she writes the funniest stories and I NEVER read her blog while drinking a cup of tea anymore. Oh and Stephanie did you ever find those missing glasses??

  182. 1)Stephanie is a little bit country, a little bit rock ‘n’ roll.
    2)Stephanie is the cheese that stands alone.
    3)Although Stephanie IS the cheese, she probably doesn’t eat cheese, because it has rennet in it (yuck!)
    4)Stephanie makes beautiful mittens, beautiful socks, beautiful children. I think she should show us that ugly big mint green sweater one more time, just so we don’t hate her for being so beautiful-making.
    5)Stephanie is a nutbar to deliberately solicit this many comments; will child labour be enlisted to help read through them all? (as successful an enlistment as trying to get them to do the spinning was, I’m sure)

  183. See, hasn’t this been fun? Also very instructive; I’ve noticed that others remember some stories differently than I do.
    Anyway, my entry in the what-I-know-about-Stephanie: whilst on vacation this past summer she kept a vigilant watch for rogue waves, in spite of Joe’s scoffing. Her father-in-law later agreed with her assessment of the wave situation.
    Furthermore, before and after vacation she posted loads of pictures and links, catapulting this blog to Things I Need to Read Daily In Order to Effectively Homeschool status…yes, we studied John Cabot this fall, and learned about the discovery of Newfoundland by the Europeans (the book we were using was very emphatic that Europeans did NOT spend the winter there because it was too damn cold. It also didn’t mention Skreech, but this may be excused given that it was written for kids ages 6-10; I am able to add insight in to local culture, though, thanks to this blog).

  184. Stephanie has the attention span of a gnat.
    She doesn’t need a pattern to knit socks (or I suspect much of anything else for that matter).
    Her mother-in-laws name is Carol.
    And hunky painting brother Ian is actually married to Ali (she is too kind to dash the hopes of all her loyal readers lusting after a cute painter man!).

  185. Stashes galore
    Toques make her look phallic
    Enjoyed by many
    Poncho o’ Harlot are being made as I type by someone in this world!
    Hank calls his Aunt Steppie to make blue Knittening into a pink hat
    Ask her anything, she probably knows
    Needs of boys have been taught to teenage daughters
    Is in total control of her Knitting!
    Enjoys aluminum needles

  186. Hmmm…I’m too lazy (make that “time-conscious”) to read all 3 million entries, but you didn’t say we had to come up with an Original Harlot Fact.
    I know that you are a Menace On Ice Skates, and also Generally Unsporty. Cheers!

  187. I believe that somehow you have trained/convinced your cat millie not to take off with your balls of yarn while you’re knitting… I’ve never seen a post where you’ve described the fighting that can occur… my hands are still healing from the last time my cat millie took off with the yarn – I guess it was just too tempting for her

  188. Something I know…you knit something for every baby that you are working with (midwif-ing?doula-ing?). and you have a nephew named hank who seems awfully similar to my own 4 year old nephew. they certainly have definite opinions, don’t they?

  189. what i know about stephanie, aka steppie:
    -she frequently develops a complex psychological relationship with the thing she’s knitting. and when things get too intense she is too easily tempted by some fun on the side with some dpns and sock wool.
    -she appreciates quality fiber, but will buy yarn on sale so is not a yarn snob.
    -has made me a BornAgainKnitter and has lured me out of the blog-closet by dangling thrummed mitten kit as a prize. drool

  190. I knew that comment would get us all into trouble.
    Something I know about Stephanie:
    She borrows her friend Denny’s “electrocutionable” crock pot to dye wool.
    The fact that not one, but two people, have elected to continue with this delapitated, death-threatening machine is impressive to me. And I really, really, really want thrummed mittens. (I would pay to get these thrummed mittens.) (Hint, hint.)

  191. I know that the Harlot can decide to make a complex sweater – making up the pattern – two weeks before an event…and wear it to said event.
    Wow.

  192. You’re stupidly competitive, but draw the line at risking the lives of your entire family to freezing to death.
    BTW, I still have a spiffy prize to send you if you’d e-mail me your address. (I could get it online, but that’d be kinda stalker-weird, so I’m waiting for you to send it.)
    Bippy

  193. Things I know about Stephanie …
    1. She’s prone to strange knitting obsessions (everything in blue, ponchos, Latvian mittens) but her stuff is always so good that she’s the only one who worries about it.
    2. She travels with socks.
    3. Her brother Ian has no hair.
    4. Her nephew Hank’s favorite color is pink.
    Although, I don’t know why you’re afraid of mummers–they had mittens!

  194. I love your blog, so I’m de-lurking!
    Things I know about the Harlot:
    1. Her blog is the blog i can’t resist reading even on days that I don’t have time to do my regular blog-surfing.
    2. She’s so funny I never skim through the text just looking for pictures.
    3. She taught her daughter about “choking the chicken”
    4. She has an obsession with Latvian mittens (not that this is a problem, they are gorgeous!)
    5. She’s a perfectionist (just watch her make sure every bit of the ribbing flows perfectly into a cable in a complicated self-designed aran sweater, in two weeks!)
    Love your mittens, someday maybe I’ll be brave enough to try making some myself 🙂

  195. Stephanie not only has conversations with her knitting, but sometimes it even writes her notes! Whew…

  196. Delurking to say:
    ~ Stephanie can actually knit a sock and be on the computer at the same time.
    ~ Tuesdays are for spinning.
    ~ She would love to be able to knit, rather than sew, something for Halloween.
    ~ Only owning one bra means it makes it harder to keep track of.
    Oh, the lure of a good contest….I’ll be slipping back into the shadows now.

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